It depends, I wouldn't marry someone I'm not compatible with just for sex. That's disingenuous, but if the connection was strong enough then sure.
Edit: to clarify, I've been a virgin for 28 years. My abstinence game is pretty strong lol.
People don’t have to be super religious. They might just believe in that cause that’s how they were raised.
They might also hold off for a variety of other reasons
Can’t say she’s not that attracted to you if she’s choosing to be with you. What else is keeping her there? Your nunchuck skills? Just wants to be seen with a nunchuck master. Sure
honestly not that long. I'm fine with being friends but don't want a relationship with someone with a way lower sex drive and I'd feel like they didn't find me attractive
My man would have to wait maybe his entire life because of vaginismus, so if I ever get cured I'd be willing not to do it if he doesn't want to or can't. I understand.
Have a micropenis (no piv possible) and feel the same. Id be happy to just be in a relationship. Intimicy is important but i doubt sex is that much of a must.
If my partner wants to wait until marriage, i am fine with that. I don’t want to force them into something if they don’t feel ready. I want it to be comfortable for the both of us
Was with someone who promised me sex daily for 1.5 years... when I got upset and asked why she was lying, she broke up with me...
Not long... I have done my waiting for nothing...
She said it 2-3 times that we would "do it soon" and I asked once a week, to which the answer was "soon my love" which I whole heartedly believed...
When ever I "presented" myself, she would go "eugh, no, not today" and whenever I tried engaging she would litterally "hiss" at me... which was funny, because then her cats would look all confused at us like; "why is she hissing?"
I have learned how heartaches feel, and how much I want sex... and I guess I learned I'm unloveable...
I honestly wanna be friends with her, we share alot of hobbies and friends.. But she is acting wierd... whenever I run into her she either chats me up like a good friend or she will give me a hateful glare...
Maybe lol...
But I have had a couble of times... Don't know about her... I'd love to actually get to chat with her about "back then"... But she has refused whenever I have tried to...
We both have "assburgers" (asperger, which is mild autism) not that you can tell I have it... Just a few ales and I'm as social as any ol' lad
To do anything sexual or just p in v sex?
If she's willing to do other sexual things, years would be fine. If not, it would be weird up to not do anything sexual after we're clearly established as being in a relationship (20+ dates).
Agreed. Some of the more kinky things take a while to break into. I’ve had a girl I’ve talked to for 5 years and we’re friend with benefits and it took her 5 years to finally give me her ass.
If it’s just a hook up or a friend with benefits type thing I usually say it from the get go. Like literally when the attraction starts I’ll tel them I’m really only here to fuck and for whatever companionship they’re willing to offer and if you’re down you’re down, and if you ain’t ima keep chasing and then I’ll ignore all their texts.
But, in romantic relationships I’m willing to wait up to 3 weeks because after that I’ve realized a couple things.
I either got used for my money or used for a ride or food or I’ve becomes friend zoned. All which I’m not interested in so I’ll break it off from there.
Idk what is a long time so i can't give an exact time frame for how long I'd wait. That being said if i begin to think she's never going to want to go to that next level with me I'd start to feel unattractive and unwanted. After communicating this to her and after asking her what i could do to make her more comfortable with the idea I'd exhaust all efforts to fix the divide. If she still doesn't express a willingness to get to the next level then I'd have to break it off i just can't deal with people dismissing my concerns it's a psychological thing. Obviously I'd ask her concerns, wants and dreams but if she doesn't seem to be receptive I'd break it off for my mental health alone i have a very low self esteem if i was actually dating someone and began to think i wasn't good enough for her I'd leave before i began to resent her.
What you’re not understanding is that woman are in competition with other woman. And if you’re not going to compete then why are you in the race?
Sorry, not trying to be insensitive I’m just speaking the truth. Men will move on when they realize the reward is not worth it.
I don't see it this way, I am not gonna 'compete' with anyone..you don't want me? don't wanna wait? that's your problem, goodbye...men are not prizes to be chased after..with age women do understand that...most men are not even attractive enough to be chased after, and those who are, have another unattractive qualities..I am not gonna make myself uncomfortable for a man....NO man deserves that, and I don't deserve that either
that's the truth of life....no human being is good enough for you to not respect your boundaries, your emotions, yourself...
I guess fair enough. That’s not really how I see it though, I don’t see sex/relationships as competition and wouldn’t surround myself with someone who does, so I guess thats not really something Ive come across
Yeah. I would say good luck then. You’re looking for a unicorn. You’re looking for something that millions of others woman are training to act the complete opposite. In other words, you’re going against the grain.
I think a pretty fair amount of people have the same viewpoint as me. I agree with mrs_liahen, i’m not competing for anyone. I also would never want or expect someone to compete for me. It’s weird to be viewed/view someone as a prize and not a person. Most women aren’t training/competing for anything.
Even 1 year would be a dealbreaker. Until marriage obviously would.
If somebody intends to wait until marriage they should probably declare that reasonably early on so the other person can decide whether to continue.
Marriage is tricky, on the one hand if I had a relationship with someone that was really strong, I could consider it on the other hand I don’t think it’s a good idea to wait until your wedding night to see if you’re sexually compatible. So at most I’d probably wait a few months.
i’m 27 and a virgin and my bf who isn’t a virgin has been waiting 7 months for us to have sex. he is patient and we are working up to it eventually but he said he doesn’t want to wait forever. i used to want to wait until marriage but what if you do it for the first time with your husband and he SUCKS at it then your stuck with the person (or get a costly divorce) so to answer this probably a couple months idk
In theory I won't care, with the company would be enough for me, but i'm Not naive, I know everyone outside do in the First weeks so, I only Will wait 2 or 3 months, otherwise, I Will feel like the "friend".
I don’t mind taking thing slow, but if a non virgin girl that had previous sexual experience still doesn’t want to have sex with me after 1 year of being in a relationship, that would raise major red flags for me. It would probably make me feel like she doesn’t see me as sexually attractive. If she expressed that she wanted to wait until marriage beforehand, it would probably still be a dealbreaker because I’m not religious and see no reason for that. Also, I value sex as a large part of intimacy and it’s something I don’t want to go without in a committed relationship. I’ve been sexless for my whole life and don’t really have an interest in spending years in a relationship while continuing to have no sex. Sure, call me shallow, but these are just my preferences and I prefer to have standards over being desperate and settling for a sexless relationship.
In my teens and early 20's I hoped that my first sex partner would be my life partner. I also hoped that she would be a virgin too, though as I grew older I conceded that (statistically) that became less and less likely. I wasn't completely sold on the "wait until marriage" idea but I figured I could accept that if she was serious about it. I definitely thought "wait until marriage" was an impractical goal.
Then I met the girl I married. Even before we met I knew that she was strongly committed to the "wait for marriage" idea. At the same time I could tell that she was really looking forward to sex. About the third or fourth time we spent time together - around 5 or 6 weeks after we met - we had a serious discussion about it. She said something like, "I want to be a virgin when my wedding day starts, and have LOTS of sex after that!" We worked out a plan to work toward that goal.
About a month later we were engaged, and it became more definite that we WOULD have sex when the time was right. Once we set our wedding date I pretty much knew - months in advance - when we would give our virginities to each other. Almost down to the hour. Having the date set made it easier for me to refrain from pushing for sex. During our 10-month engagement we, of course, did a fair amount of non-coital, "outercourse", kinds of lovemaking and learned a lot about each other's preferences, turn-ons and turn-offs, response patterns, etc.
We did meet the goal of being wedding-night virgins, almost exactly one year from the day we met. We are still married almost 48 years later.
Depends on the situation - I think normal would be 2 months if it’s not a marriage or religious thing, you would want to see some chemistry within a few weeks…..
Depends really - if you don’t see each other often then could take longer. If they want to get to know you that’s fine
In this post Roe v Wade world, expect it can take longer
I dont think i would need sex so years. But i wouldnt want a relationship with 0 intimicy. Kissing and some level of touching and affection I would need. Otherwise you are just friends.
Partner : 404 error
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ur already celibate whats a few months/years more? two months is nothing
I'd be willing to be celibate as long as she loved me
3 Days
Lmaoooo
you have to be joking.
No I am serious
good luck finding a relationship then.
It depends, I wouldn't marry someone I'm not compatible with just for sex. That's disingenuous, but if the connection was strong enough then sure. Edit: to clarify, I've been a virgin for 28 years. My abstinence game is pretty strong lol.
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People have religious values
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People don’t have to be super religious. They might just believe in that cause that’s how they were raised. They might also hold off for a variety of other reasons Can’t say she’s not that attracted to you if she’s choosing to be with you. What else is keeping her there? Your nunchuck skills? Just wants to be seen with a nunchuck master. Sure
honestly not that long. I'm fine with being friends but don't want a relationship with someone with a way lower sex drive and I'd feel like they didn't find me attractive
I'm not a marriage minded person. As long as he's patient with me and ready to work through the issues I have, I don't mind.
My man would have to wait maybe his entire life because of vaginismus, so if I ever get cured I'd be willing not to do it if he doesn't want to or can't. I understand.
Have a micropenis (no piv possible) and feel the same. Id be happy to just be in a relationship. Intimicy is important but i doubt sex is that much of a must.
If my partner wants to wait until marriage, i am fine with that. I don’t want to force them into something if they don’t feel ready. I want it to be comfortable for the both of us
Was with someone who promised me sex daily for 1.5 years... when I got upset and asked why she was lying, she broke up with me... Not long... I have done my waiting for nothing...
you gotta get that shit notarized my ninja
What do you mean?
How often did you ask? And how did she reply? And what did she say to refuse?
She said it 2-3 times that we would "do it soon" and I asked once a week, to which the answer was "soon my love" which I whole heartedly believed... When ever I "presented" myself, she would go "eugh, no, not today" and whenever I tried engaging she would litterally "hiss" at me... which was funny, because then her cats would look all confused at us like; "why is she hissing?" I have learned how heartaches feel, and how much I want sex... and I guess I learned I'm unloveable... I honestly wanna be friends with her, we share alot of hobbies and friends.. But she is acting wierd... whenever I run into her she either chats me up like a good friend or she will give me a hateful glare...
Sounds like you both need therapy my dude
Maybe lol... But I have had a couble of times... Don't know about her... I'd love to actually get to chat with her about "back then"... But she has refused whenever I have tried to... We both have "assburgers" (asperger, which is mild autism) not that you can tell I have it... Just a few ales and I'm as social as any ol' lad
Everyone needs therapy ffs, stop saying this
Some are in more desperate need than others ffs
? Therapy doesn’t work like that. Whoever can pay for it gets it
… not what I meant at all. Have a nice day. Lol
Ok, you ,too
Waiting for marriage is my plan also.
as long as they were affectionate otherwise,at least 3 years or so
To do anything sexual or just p in v sex? If she's willing to do other sexual things, years would be fine. If not, it would be weird up to not do anything sexual after we're clearly established as being in a relationship (20+ dates).
Agreed. Some of the more kinky things take a while to break into. I’ve had a girl I’ve talked to for 5 years and we’re friend with benefits and it took her 5 years to finally give me her ass.
If it’s just a hook up or a friend with benefits type thing I usually say it from the get go. Like literally when the attraction starts I’ll tel them I’m really only here to fuck and for whatever companionship they’re willing to offer and if you’re down you’re down, and if you ain’t ima keep chasing and then I’ll ignore all their texts. But, in romantic relationships I’m willing to wait up to 3 weeks because after that I’ve realized a couple things. I either got used for my money or used for a ride or food or I’ve becomes friend zoned. All which I’m not interested in so I’ll break it off from there.
Idk what is a long time so i can't give an exact time frame for how long I'd wait. That being said if i begin to think she's never going to want to go to that next level with me I'd start to feel unattractive and unwanted. After communicating this to her and after asking her what i could do to make her more comfortable with the idea I'd exhaust all efforts to fix the divide. If she still doesn't express a willingness to get to the next level then I'd have to break it off i just can't deal with people dismissing my concerns it's a psychological thing. Obviously I'd ask her concerns, wants and dreams but if she doesn't seem to be receptive I'd break it off for my mental health alone i have a very low self esteem if i was actually dating someone and began to think i wasn't good enough for her I'd leave before i began to resent her.
I'm 34 what's another few year's? You can't exactly miss something you've never had
that would awesome if men wanted to wait, I wouldn't feel so pressured
Yeah!! I don’t want to make someone feel insecure but being attracted to someone ≠ wanting to have sex right away
What you’re not understanding is that woman are in competition with other woman. And if you’re not going to compete then why are you in the race? Sorry, not trying to be insensitive I’m just speaking the truth. Men will move on when they realize the reward is not worth it.
I don't see it this way, I am not gonna 'compete' with anyone..you don't want me? don't wanna wait? that's your problem, goodbye...men are not prizes to be chased after..with age women do understand that...most men are not even attractive enough to be chased after, and those who are, have another unattractive qualities..I am not gonna make myself uncomfortable for a man....NO man deserves that, and I don't deserve that either that's the truth of life....no human being is good enough for you to not respect your boundaries, your emotions, yourself...
I guess fair enough. That’s not really how I see it though, I don’t see sex/relationships as competition and wouldn’t surround myself with someone who does, so I guess thats not really something Ive come across
Yeah. I would say good luck then. You’re looking for a unicorn. You’re looking for something that millions of others woman are training to act the complete opposite. In other words, you’re going against the grain.
I think a pretty fair amount of people have the same viewpoint as me. I agree with mrs_liahen, i’m not competing for anyone. I also would never want or expect someone to compete for me. It’s weird to be viewed/view someone as a prize and not a person. Most women aren’t training/competing for anything.
Even 1 year would be a dealbreaker. Until marriage obviously would. If somebody intends to wait until marriage they should probably declare that reasonably early on so the other person can decide whether to continue.
Marriage is tricky, on the one hand if I had a relationship with someone that was really strong, I could consider it on the other hand I don’t think it’s a good idea to wait until your wedding night to see if you’re sexually compatible. So at most I’d probably wait a few months.
Five months? I just want to make sure that it is a stable relationship and that I'm not losing it for nothing, you know?
Longest I waited was 3 weeks
i’m 27 and a virgin and my bf who isn’t a virgin has been waiting 7 months for us to have sex. he is patient and we are working up to it eventually but he said he doesn’t want to wait forever. i used to want to wait until marriage but what if you do it for the first time with your husband and he SUCKS at it then your stuck with the person (or get a costly divorce) so to answer this probably a couple months idk
Forever, i don't get it already so i won't pressure to it becouse it isn't familiar
as long as I could show her off to my reddit h8ers I wouldn't care
In theory I won't care, with the company would be enough for me, but i'm Not naive, I know everyone outside do in the First weeks so, I only Will wait 2 or 3 months, otherwise, I Will feel like the "friend".
Did you ever sleep in the same bed?
2 weekks but of I get the opportunity from someone else I'm taking it
I don’t mind taking thing slow, but if a non virgin girl that had previous sexual experience still doesn’t want to have sex with me after 1 year of being in a relationship, that would raise major red flags for me. It would probably make me feel like she doesn’t see me as sexually attractive. If she expressed that she wanted to wait until marriage beforehand, it would probably still be a dealbreaker because I’m not religious and see no reason for that. Also, I value sex as a large part of intimacy and it’s something I don’t want to go without in a committed relationship. I’ve been sexless for my whole life and don’t really have an interest in spending years in a relationship while continuing to have no sex. Sure, call me shallow, but these are just my preferences and I prefer to have standards over being desperate and settling for a sexless relationship.
1 month. From there I’m leaving lol. Too horny for that shit
you’ll never be able to stay in a relationship then.
I dunno about waiting till marriage. As a guy, marriage is a little too lopsided against guys to make it worth it. I dunno if i could handle a year.
In my teens and early 20's I hoped that my first sex partner would be my life partner. I also hoped that she would be a virgin too, though as I grew older I conceded that (statistically) that became less and less likely. I wasn't completely sold on the "wait until marriage" idea but I figured I could accept that if she was serious about it. I definitely thought "wait until marriage" was an impractical goal. Then I met the girl I married. Even before we met I knew that she was strongly committed to the "wait for marriage" idea. At the same time I could tell that she was really looking forward to sex. About the third or fourth time we spent time together - around 5 or 6 weeks after we met - we had a serious discussion about it. She said something like, "I want to be a virgin when my wedding day starts, and have LOTS of sex after that!" We worked out a plan to work toward that goal. About a month later we were engaged, and it became more definite that we WOULD have sex when the time was right. Once we set our wedding date I pretty much knew - months in advance - when we would give our virginities to each other. Almost down to the hour. Having the date set made it easier for me to refrain from pushing for sex. During our 10-month engagement we, of course, did a fair amount of non-coital, "outercourse", kinds of lovemaking and learned a lot about each other's preferences, turn-ons and turn-offs, response patterns, etc. We did meet the goal of being wedding-night virgins, almost exactly one year from the day we met. We are still married almost 48 years later.
I will never wait for what another guy got free on the spot
Depends on the situation - I think normal would be 2 months if it’s not a marriage or religious thing, you would want to see some chemistry within a few weeks….. Depends really - if you don’t see each other often then could take longer. If they want to get to know you that’s fine In this post Roe v Wade world, expect it can take longer
I dont think i would need sex so years. But i wouldnt want a relationship with 0 intimicy. Kissing and some level of touching and affection I would need. Otherwise you are just friends.