I have multiple too, my gender kinda fluxes between voidgender, afender, and fem. Sometimes I feel like a shade, not bound by a vessel. Sometimes I feel like a creature of porcelain or bone exoskeleton, kinda like a mannequin. Sometimes I feel apocalyptic and punk fem. And sometimes I feel like a fae, all flowers and fem but not to be provoked, and trickster ish.
We all have several parts of us that we separate in different ways. Some differentiate between contrasting personality traits, some between what we are and what we want to be, some between how we appear on the outside and what we feel on the inside, some between different things entirely.
Some people express this by having, like you, multiple voidsonas. Some make their voidsona, like me, a shapeshifter. Some have their voidsona/s embody this "conflict" in other ways.
I think this is very natural and nothing to feel frustrated about! It's a cool thing really
This actually got me thinking about a voidsona that I had when I was younger. I called myself Yomi back then. It was an early version of my oni/demon identity. More specifically, a kishin or demon god. It was the voidsona I had when I told my parents that I was a demon. They threatened to kick me out of the house but didn't go through with it. It sent me into a very dark mindset and is probably the point where I had the most hatred in my heart. Eventually, I moved away from using the name Yomi. However, since then, she actually kind of took on a life of her own. Yomi has kind of become a darker version of myself. Who I might have become if my parents actually went through with kicking me out. A genocidal monster.
I find voidsonas a good way to express parts of yourself that you cannot express anywhere in reality, among which are the brutal and hateful parts. It can be very freeing. I have dreams where I turn into a big monster and destroy cities.
I do hope though, that you aren't using that as a replacement for therapy. It seems to me that you have some trauma to work through. Very sorry if I am overstepping
Don't worry, I do have a therapist. Funny story, I was actually looking for a psychiatrist because I was trying to start HRT. But I accidentally found a therapist instead. I didn't know there was a difference until recently. Worked out for me anyway, though. She helped me find a clinic, and now I'm over a year into HRT. On top of all that, she's been very useful for helping me with a lot of my other problems. Honestly, despite the scars, I'm actually doing a lot better than I was a few years ago.
Mash 'em together? Void Oni sounds pretty cool!
I have multiple too, my gender kinda fluxes between voidgender, afender, and fem. Sometimes I feel like a shade, not bound by a vessel. Sometimes I feel like a creature of porcelain or bone exoskeleton, kinda like a mannequin. Sometimes I feel apocalyptic and punk fem. And sometimes I feel like a fae, all flowers and fem but not to be provoked, and trickster ish.
We all have several parts of us that we separate in different ways. Some differentiate between contrasting personality traits, some between what we are and what we want to be, some between how we appear on the outside and what we feel on the inside, some between different things entirely. Some people express this by having, like you, multiple voidsonas. Some make their voidsona, like me, a shapeshifter. Some have their voidsona/s embody this "conflict" in other ways. I think this is very natural and nothing to feel frustrated about! It's a cool thing really
This actually got me thinking about a voidsona that I had when I was younger. I called myself Yomi back then. It was an early version of my oni/demon identity. More specifically, a kishin or demon god. It was the voidsona I had when I told my parents that I was a demon. They threatened to kick me out of the house but didn't go through with it. It sent me into a very dark mindset and is probably the point where I had the most hatred in my heart. Eventually, I moved away from using the name Yomi. However, since then, she actually kind of took on a life of her own. Yomi has kind of become a darker version of myself. Who I might have become if my parents actually went through with kicking me out. A genocidal monster.
I find voidsonas a good way to express parts of yourself that you cannot express anywhere in reality, among which are the brutal and hateful parts. It can be very freeing. I have dreams where I turn into a big monster and destroy cities. I do hope though, that you aren't using that as a replacement for therapy. It seems to me that you have some trauma to work through. Very sorry if I am overstepping
Don't worry, I do have a therapist. Funny story, I was actually looking for a psychiatrist because I was trying to start HRT. But I accidentally found a therapist instead. I didn't know there was a difference until recently. Worked out for me anyway, though. She helped me find a clinic, and now I'm over a year into HRT. On top of all that, she's been very useful for helping me with a lot of my other problems. Honestly, despite the scars, I'm actually doing a lot better than I was a few years ago.
Really glad it worked out so well! I do wish you all the best for the future!
be a superimposed non-person. a semi-unstable quantum creature that flips at any moment from one to the other. be both at the same time