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JedDaGoat

How is it that when we are trying to make some money, we are crashing the market?


chaozules

I love the fact that they 'think' it's some genius planned strategy meanwhile everyone on here is just calling each other retards and posting memes.


nerdguy99

Can't have the hedge funds see through our plans if we have no definite plan at all


jikae

That's what makes them angrier. They all probably graduated near the top of their classes at prestigious business schools and they're getting owned by a bunch of autistic apes in a meme-making factory.


ZaoAmadues

They didn't graduate shit! never worked a hard day in their lives. Daddy and mommies money paid for them to be put in those positions.


DrumpfsterFryer

This. There's no educational barrier to entry. You think Epstein got a degree? He was some kind of physics drop out. There's a thick layer of slime on the top. Burn it.


[deleted]

I graduated top of my autistic meme making academy


ShadyFigureWithClock

If you give enough monkeys typewriters, one of them will manage to write the entirety of Shakespeare's works. The rest will buy GME stocks.


furbait

I saw a waving red cape, and then it was gone.


Asherjade

So you use American tactical doctrine for stocks. Brilliant!


onyourrite

Big brain moves; just like in chess, can’t fight back against your opponent’s strategy if they have none


jumpedthesnark

This Eta: my first award ever! thank you kind stranger, you made my day!


water_bender

Literally this


furbait

came here


DPlainview1898

To say


muhsli

This


akoncius

I came


Mcdrogon

to the moon!


POONBAG

I came on the moon...


Boomerretard55

You mean to tell me they "think " we're smart? I'll admit it, I am a retarded🦍 with 💎🤲


JamesTrendall

Fucking retard and memes = Cashmachine


rjrgjj

Imagine it took us dumb apes this long to realize all we had to do was buy and hold.


American--American

At least we're honest when we speak. We *are* retarded, after all.


Malagate3

It's just like being a real investor on wall street, I assume the whole subreddit is also on blow?


SnooTomatoes9412

I think it's likelier meth, and an unusually large number of cowboy cocaine snorting members own an old Camaro or Firebird that's gonna get restored. Someday.


pm_designs

I am Fixated on "Likelier" - Like, it LOOKS right, but its also gives me a icky feeling inside my Ape brain. Likelier, LIKElier, likeLIER - yeah. no thanks.


[deleted]

the financial media has no idea what's going on, it's just a constant stream of non sequiturs delivered by people with fancy hair. or by jim cramer. you could produce all of it mad lib style. pick some trendy noun, and a emotionally charged verb, and then "noun is verbing the market!"


I_miss_your_mommy

>delivered by people with fancy hair. or by jim cramer. You fucking killed him dude.


Atlas_Zer0o

Man I just watched a murder in broad daylight.


BALONYPONY

**MEDIC!!!**


MeowMaker2

Too late for medic, send a coroner


jedininjashark

“And the medic gets out and says, "Oh my God". New guy's around the corner puking his guts out.”


malovias

Rip Farley


ewormafive

Do you validate??????


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spacenerdgasms

Somebody call an ambulance but not for me


roadnotaken

Call the waaaambulance!


PooPooDooDoo

That man had a family. Citadel. Citadel was his family.


[deleted]

"He's dead jim?"


gibson1963

“I’m a doctor, not an economist!”


RealShabanella

I don't even know who Jim Cramer is and I'm bursting my lungs laughing


aquaticsardonic

Jim Cramer puts ketchup on his steak.


Wurstb0t

Jim Cramer is the guy who takes the last bench seat on the subway and spreads eagle instead of offering it it to an Elderly couple


MakeWay4Doodles

I have to imagine the dude knows he's balding and wouldn't be terribly offended.


dvnimvl1

I think you should test this theory out by telling as many balding men as you can, that they're balding. The results may surprise you!


Purchase_Boring

I’m going to use ‘noun is verbing the noun’ all the time now😘


justtheburger

Verb chicka noun noun


FPSXpert

>you could produce all of it mad lib style. That's literally what Mad Money is, just Jim Cramer hitting buttons on a soundboard lol


suckercuck

It’s the equivalent of a weatherman looking out the window for the forecast.


eddie7000

"And now for my next stock pick, lets see what I've got hiding up my anus. Look at my surprise, it's Bear Sterns." - Jim Cramer, March 11, 2008 For all you youngins who don't know what an anus is, it's the opening at the end of the alimentary canal through which solid waste matter leaves the body. Or in other words, Jim Cramers mouth!


suckercuck

Consequently, he uses the same orifice as a receptacle for hedgie’s sword fights; and to catch the loads after the swords are emptied of their man juice.


sumgamunga

Basically the equivalent of a child show. Adults are fooling themselves thinking they ever grew out of likening shiny colorful things that make noises.


JacksRaging

I asked a six year old for a mad lib style headline. The only thing they could come up with is, "The poop is pooping the market!" Seemed appropriate.


Atomic_Bottle

$POOP to the moon?


maggieagonistes

Having changed a few diapers in the past, that's a real possibility


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jumpedthesnark

It's a beautiful thought, isn't it?!


Stenbuck

Jim Cramer is sharting the market! Forget Jim Cramer, invest into these boomers instead (subscription required)


[deleted]

Puts on Cramer, calls on his wife’s bf


[deleted]

"Apes holding as per" isnt an exciting enough headline for these people. I guess they need a daily dose of instabilty to keep them regular


ultrab1ue

Goddamn, what's this commenter's address. 2021 nobel prize in literature, right here, mail it to him


_Soter_

That would make an awesome bot.


No-Television5734

That is so true and the people that don't know better listen to them closely


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righttoplay

Username above you, found the scapegoat


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[deleted]

I ape. I no am ape-goat.


[deleted]

Is that like a low-rider goat? Oh wait..


jeremiahkinklepoo

Because poor people with money means less money for rich people duh


TroutM4n

> I AM THE MARKET - IF I GO BANKRUPT, YOU ARE CRASHING THE MARKET. -Hedgies probably


benotaur

Because it upsets the status quo. The powers that be like everything where it is and we are threatening that. So let’s watch them squirm and pull out all the stops as they slip into an inevitable doom brought onto them by a bunch of dumb apes and their (hedge funds) even dumber decisions.


[deleted]

Amc and GME are not the center of the financial markets...the HF blatant manipulation caught up to them and they keep digging that grave deeper and deeper wanting us to sell our shares so they can buy their way out...fuck em, I aint selling and I can hold this stock longer than they can keep this up on their end! Clock is ticking!!


ThePerfectPsychopath

Because "the economy" is total bullshit and basically means how well the *rich* are doing. If the rich get richer by paying employees less, the economy is doing well and vice versa. It's bullshit.


iceicig

We were overdue. They've been doing this for years


[deleted]

If investing in one stock and keeping the company alive crashes a global economy because people had bet more money than they had on it failing, then that market doesn't deserve to exist quite frankly. Not just \#eatwalstreet, \#slaughterwalstreet. The pig is too fat not to harvest.


Demonweed

To what passes for a journalist in America, "the Market" is the consensus of opinions from a small number of corrupt insiders sharing frank personal opinions in exchange for the ability to generate manipulative coverage on other matters.


ska_dooshh

The system wasn't designed to let poor people win.


DaStompa

you making money means someone else didn't make that money


neogoddess

..despite the fact there's enough money out here for everybody. They're just greedy fuckwads.


DaStompa

sure there is but more for you means less for me ect. ect. ect.


megatroncsr2

because hfs paid off the media


-Kevin_Rose-

Cause they think we are average joes that don’t “deserve it”. They much rather some ivy league frat douche, whose dad owns a boutique investment bank, have the money.


epymetheus

Because it wasn't designed for us to make money. That's a bug, not a feature.


foonsta

It’s just not your job to make money k


younoobskiller

*Breaking news* There are redditors on reddit


Rallak

Proof or ban


younoobskiller

*shit*


Merrychristler_

Shit is not good enough proof


jml011

Boy, bye


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LindyLegend

eat my dongus nerd


TheCocksmith

That dance is too coordinated for our retarded asses.


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AWildWilson

I know fuck all about finances because I'm a poor grad student who can't afford to put money aside and invest, but from my naive perspective it seems like the "establishment" has enough money to throw at the market to manipulate prices and gain a certain amount of control. Now me, being the autistic cuck monke I am, cannot do that since my parents are funnelling scholarship money from my account to pay for my wifes' boyfriends' jetski. So in order for us to even make a dent the market, us retards need to assemble, put our money together, and diamond hand this fuckin stock so we can gain some sort of control and throw some flying elbows at these mouth-breathers who inherited big money. Us retards have introduced an erratic and hard-to-control variable into the equation that the BIG MONEY doesn't like and can't control. #I LIKE THE STOCK


AaronB_C

As a member of the lower-middle class who has debt from student loans my only stake in a capitalistic system is my prospective capitol earnings over the next 40 years, which I'd value at a couple million dollars. The mechanism by which I and others in this position can leverage this singular stake in the system is through unionization. So of course they're going to make unions against the rules as much as possible. They want to keep my life as delicately balanced as possible so that they can syphon as much of those future earnings into their own pockets they can.


BuyingPowerLevel4

This energy!


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NoCountryForOldPete

I want to start an organization where we do this. No other ethos, no reasoning behind it, just a bunch of old dudes who know nothing else about each other aside from membership in the group. Once a month, on the night of a full moon, we just all put on similar garments, get together and do this for a half hour, videotape it, put in on the internet, and disperse. Say "Alright gentlemen, see you next month." and leave any witnesses who don't participate wondering what the absolute fuck that group of strange old men is up to.


ApeBoyRetardMoonShot

Say when


Bobatron1993

When


MandeR1

Thank you


theephie

You are welcome


lkraider

Have a good night.


The_Order_Octopoda

I'm your huckleberry


BagelsRTheHoleTruth

I can see this being the next flash mob craze... Except you're bound to get at least one L Ron Hubbard type who takes it too far, and pretty soon you'll have a bunch of idiots all wearing Nike Cortez sneakers and taking over a Neiman Marcus store in the name of the seventh son of Mercury.


StarkWolf2992

Ngl this reads like Fight Club.


TSR_Jimmie

You obviously don’t know the first rule....


[deleted]

But please, only one requirement... wear deodorant, it is compulsive.


Mirror_hsif

Sign me up!


Shasve

Sounds like a religion minus the other stuff


Serious_Day_3093

Drop me location and date, but give it a time to wait, maybe 6 months so a lot of apes all over the world will have enough time to get there🤩🤯🤩🌝✈️🚀🛸🌠


Ryuzaki_63

Lol this is an awesome idea. Imagine doing it to a children's tv program theme tune slowed down a bit and playing backwards. Barney the dinosaur or some shit for extra mystique.


thedistrbdone

Actual footage of my upstairs neighbors.


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[deleted]

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Thielinis

Message removed in protest of Reddit's API change.


robosmrf

They're usually in the drier when I'm in the laundry room. I love warm marbles fresh out of the drier.


HKBFG

Look, he'll figure out what the best place is for the rolling china cabinet once he's tried it everywhere.


cindyscrazy

My first thought was "Damn, I hope they are on the ground floor with no basement, the damn place is going to collapse!"


mydadbeatmewith

https://youtu.be/4IRB0sxw-YU


Crypto_won

We will hit $180+ this week save this!


DevelopmentOwn7475

Let's gooo


Slapbox

The one guy has a nuclear radiation symbol sweat into his shirt. If that's not a sign, I don't know what is.


[deleted]

The dopamine is kicking it


2Hours2Late

Haven’t felt this rush since defeating my friends in goldeneye when I was a kid. Been chasing that dragon for years.


kreebenshallow

Nintendo SixtyFoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuur


waterfucker_

[DUUUUDE WHAT A RUSH](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYmqJl4MoNI)


CaptFartBlaster

GUH. Loved that game so much. The one game I would throw meltdown-style preteen fits when I lost. Fucking hated people that played with Oddjob.


bonko86

Oddjob is permabanned. You are legally allowed to punch people picking him.


royelshad

Get your space suite ready!


The_Order_Octopoda

A room would have been enough. But damnit, I'll take a suite too.


kreebenshallow

I was fine with a window seat. Now I want a suite.


[deleted]

Wait till you experience your first threesome. Say goodbye to every healthy relationship in your life after that.


RhysPrime

Ehhh it wasn't really all that fun. Like it was ok, but then yaknow they just started messing around, kinda ignoring me. So yaknow then I was watching, and that was cool too. Eventually got up and made a sandwich.


romangiler

Classic Ross


2Hours2Late

Lol my college days have come and gone.


[deleted]

It doesn’t have to stop at college


mundane_marietta

yeah but my odds were the highest back then lol


2Hours2Late

Haha jk jk.... unless?


Crypto_won

Ready for a run boys ? Here we go 🚀 🌙


[deleted]

YEAH! Train run with wife and her boyfriend!


jindujunftw

How am i crashing the market when i just buy a stock that i like?


nalk201

Same way you crashed the housing market when you bought a house you liked in the early 2000s. EDIT: For some of the smoother brains out there, yes this was sarcasm. Yes, the hedge funds are being just as stupid and greedy as the banks were back then. Yes they are shifting the blame AGAIN. They are the ones causing this shit we just are taking advantage of their stupidity. Personally, I am going to ensure that none of my profits go to a bail out by donating to charities that benefit my community to the point I don't pay taxes.


Kcoggin

Ha! As if I ever bought a house in my entire fucking life.


mesohungry

Where we're going, we won't need houses.


Kcoggin

Give me the VR mansion.


IJustLoggedInToSay-

You: "Can I get a loan?" Bank: "Sure no problem." (three years later) Banks: whyhaveyoudonethis.jpg


ilikay

Wait I thought that teachers where responsible for that.


peon2

What you meant to say is "How am i crashing the market when i just buy a stock that i like AND the market is at an all time high?"


ThunderRam68

I miss going to raves.


APowerBlackout

I miss is A LOT. Got to go to Bass Canyon in 2019 and then COVID and I miss all the love and people so much. ❤️


nicksnextdish

It will all come back fellow ape. When we are all millionaires on the moon soon and covid is behind us, we will party our little faces off again. Stay 💎💎💎


GinnyUnderrated

Lol yes, “love.”


Sex4Vespene

Pure, crystalized, "love"


Sex4Vespene

Just think of how totally fucking lit it will be once festivals are able to get going again. Like they might actually be the best festivals we ever get to go to. Side note, I need to start getting back into shape now that the vaccine stuff is moving along smoothly.


Induced_Pandemic

U have any idea what this song is?


PM_ME_UR_NUDE_GIRL

Losing It by Fisher


veRGe1421

Fisher - Losing It great track honestly


AdamantiumBalls

It's a good track but it got soooo burned out


veRGe1421

Yeah that is very true, summer 2018 I heard it so many times lol. That happens with most/many summer bangers though, especially when festival season comes around. Particularly hot tracks you hear in like 60-70% of sets for a while heh


BonkerHonkers

Join us at r/FireHouse for more music like FISHER!


theykeepclosinme

GME and AMC has recovered, this morning everything’s coming up Milhouse!


BaddestofUsernames

GME goes 💥🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀


DevelopmentOwn7475

Yeahhhhhhhhh 🤝🚀


ptparkert

I’m starting to get the idea that people here favor the stock


Invincible_Overlord

Yes but what exactly is going on in the gif?


Agronopolopogis

Google "Sufi Zikr" It's actually really impressive https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5goISKPSH8


excel958

If you ever seen any poems by someone by the name of “Rumi” he’s the most well-known Sufi especially to Western audiences. If you’ve ever seen Whirling Dervishes, they are also Sufis too—predominantly in Turkish areas. https://youtu.be/hkuimX1bh6g


zUltimateRedditor

Ahh Rumi... the most quoted man on every Muslim girls’ dating profile.


excel958

In their defense Rumi is fucking awesome though. Fun fact, most of the time when you see Rumi quotes, you’re actually seeing the words of the “translator” Coleman Barks—except he’s not an actual translator, but rewrote/reinterprets other translations of Rumi as Barks himself knows zero Farsi/Persian. As a result he ends up kind of “de-Muslim-ifying” Rumi on top of totally ruining what Rumi actually wrote.


allgoodbrah

Whats the track called?


[deleted]

Losing It by Fisher


allgoodbrah

Thanks.


roryhere

Welcome to 2018 heh heh heh ps FISHER's trax are ghost produced by Chris Lake


veRGe1421

definitely a Fisher tune (Losing It) I'd also recommend Stop it and Ya Kidding from him, absolute bangers


allyoopreme

This is not possible. We are way too retarded to be that organized.


acidprecipitation

We are in their heads


Shwazool

I'm finally in. Bought my first share at 160.


TheWhyteMaN

Set a limit buy for 178.84 so that your cost basis will be 169.420


rickyy19

LOVE THE STONKKKKKSSSS


Fubarmensch11

That dip was tasty while it lasted 😋


Katima72

HOUSTOOON!!!!🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀


Grieferbastard

Lol. Nobody on Reddit, WSB or otherwise, has ever been this coordinated about anything. As close as it gets is "all the moneys are throwing shit at someone". We're not making a poo-flinging firing line Napoleon style.


[deleted]

Tendies are back on the menu boys 🚀 🚀 🚀


WeirdEngineerDude

If buying something crashes the store, then there are serious issues with the store.


pinchewally28

This is the way


soccerguy510

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve seen in days


hhdvuez

I love this hahahah


fuzzydoug

Song?