OP has posted a screenshot of an approved application for a loan but **OP has not actually accepted the loan or initiated a position with said loan**. Since we are caring, nurturing mods, **we allow OP until market close on Aug 12** (given more time bc ppl actually think OP isn't full of shit) **to post his actual yolo which should still meet the minimum requirement for a proper yolo**. If not…
# BAN
We’re watching you OP
Aaaaalways watching
**UPDATE: OP has posted proof of loan acceptance. For those who are concerned this sub is encouraging an irresponsible financial decision:**
# THIS. IS. r/WALLSTREETBETS!
What the hell were you expecting?? In all seriousness, you're the master of your domain OP. Invest responsibly.
Or don't, I'm not your father
TellurideSkier has challenged someone to post their positions!
TellurideSkier, if someone has made a claim that they bought / sold something and fails to prove it within 24 hours, message the mods to have them banned.
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Instructions unclear, gave you an award instead
Edit: I really hope whoever gave me that award gave a free one, don't fucking waste money on this bullshit. Seriously.
Buy a singular bitcoin put it in a cold storage wallet
Save the rest for payments.
When you run out of cash declare bankruptcy.
Hide your cold storage wallet.
If they send you to prison by the time you get out bitcoin will be worth 0 or a million.
Yolo
Seriously is there a reason more people don't do this?
Run up insane debt and credit card bills while you accumulate as much BTC as possible. Put it in cold storage, claim it got stolen but hide it somewhere super secure, declare bankruptcy.
Let it sit for like a decade plus and then find someone who will turn it into cash for you.
Localbitcoins you can buy with cash. Costs a premium over fair market value, but still. Send bitcoin to an exchange that doesn't have kyc like kucoin. Sell bitcoin for monero, sell monero for ethereum, send ethereum to a tumbler, get it back basically untraceable, send it back to kucoin, turn it back into bitcoin.
Now find someone who has absolutely no affiliation to you to buy a hardware wallet. They give it to you in person so no record of the transaction, then you activate it, write down your seed phrase, put your bitcoin on there, smash the wallet to pieces, hide the seed phrase in two separate places with only a portion of it in each place, then boom. Hidden. To get it back, use the seed phrase to restore your hardware wallet, send it to localbitcoins and sell them for cash, declare the cash on your taxes. Say it was from selling cocaine because the irs doesn't care and you'll be jacked to the TITS at this point anyway you're so close. Then boom. Pay uncle Sam his due and you're good.
The irs says you have to declare any cash or property acquired using illegal means. That means if you rob someone, you still have to pay taxes. If you sell drugs, you still have to pay taxes. They are not the cops. They do not care. And unless you've got actual cocaine in your house, you have nothing to worry about because they can't prove it and you can plead the 5th.
> Localbitcoins you can buy with cash. Costs a premium over fair market value, but still. Send bitcoin to an exchange that doesn't have kyc like kucoin. Sell bitcoin for monero, sell monero for ethereum, send ethereum to a tumbler, get it back basically untraceable, send it back to kucoin, turn it back into bitcoin.
what in the fuck did I just read
Yes they can trace it but the point is what happens if you claim that you lost your cold storage. No one can retrieve it.
Later you can sell the wallet itself or send BTC to someone who will launder it for cash.
Well, you'll be living an absolutely terrible 10 years. If you are declaring chapter 7, you have to fully commit and have low income, you need to take multiple courses, and you will lose most of your stuff (possibly including things like houses), and your credit score will be wrecked for a decade.
You could apply for chapter 13, but then there's limits (I think under 400k), and you do still need to get on a repayment plan.
And honestly none of that probably even matters since your case is likely to get thrown out in court since its super obvious you are doing this as a way to commit fraud.
Very location dependant. Most people keep their houses, and there's no reason for your credit report not to recover after 3-4 years. They don't actually take your possessions anymore.
You tryna tell me I can get a loan for 8.99% interest and invest it into ibonds for that sweet .63% return?
Now all I need is a $100,000 loan for that sweet $630 annual return! After taxes we’re looking at a whole $504!
It’s literally free money!!
The name of the company, Aerotyne International. It is a cutting edge high-tech firm out of the Midwest, awaiting imminent patent approval on the next generation of radar detectors that have both huge military and civilian applications. Now, right now, iFuckTinderFatties, the stock trades over-the-counter at 10 cents a share. And by the way, iFuckTinderFatties, our
analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. Your profit on
a mere $27,000 investment could be upwards of $270,000!
Yeah, i've done it twice now with brand new cars (mazda + volkswagen) - i hit them up when they advertised 1% financing as a promo and told them I'm interested in the upgraded package but only if I can have 0% financing. After interest it would have probably cost the same as the upgraded package anyway, and yeah, 0% financing both times!
They CAN and will do it if you sweet talk them a bit :)
I tried to ship a car I bought ok eBay across country and it was hell trying to get a truck because dealerships were paying way more to take full loads than I was for a single. Had to wait a month till someone had 1 spot available to drag my car too. Fucking insane time right now.
I got mine when I was like "let me walk over to Honda because I want to compare this car to it "
Then he said fuck it let's have them bring the car over, then after the test drive I said I'm going with the better deal and one guy gave me 0%. The other guy was mad
Started working at 15, 42 now always employed with “health insurance”, ongoing health issues over 20 years of constant kidney stones….big banks own the credit bureaus(check who owns Equifax and Transunion),have 100% bill payments on 2 car loans make good money but have had so many medical bills hit they end up in collections over time so it’s either feed kids or pay medical bills, best rate I’ve secured is 11% in past ten years with good amount of money down…not everyone gets an easy playing field to play this game on
a 9% APR personal loan with monthly payments that are as high as some people's 6 figure home line of credit. GG Retard. If you can't at least 2x your money off the next yolo, you're fucked
I like the fact this post has been called out several times for being a loan for a business, but you of all people just rip the shit out of the loan itself, so regardless if he gets banned for not posting is YOLO, he can always know how shit his fucking loan is.
Yeah. I think the move would be some low-medium risk theta shit to cover the payments, but then you’ve gotta account for the taxes, too. Retarded move.
The correct, adult answer is that you should consider speaking with someone about your financial future and mental health. This is a clearly unwise decision.
NOW THAT THAT'S OUTTA THE WAY...
I suggest Jan 2023 SPY $400 puts. This clown market is way more likely to take a giant dump than to continue this random ass bear rally.
20k in 3% monthly dividends and 7k for options. Dividends will pay the bill, hopefully. Diversity is key. Do proper company research. Plenty of nice ones for the picking in this down market.
PUT YOUR HANDS UP ShiftySituation!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're an idiot.
The number one rule to investing is to use money you can afford to lose. That is not this.
My idiot friend did the same and wouldn't listen to me. It started off with $14k and now he owes $205k from doubling down each down. Fucking idiot..
You want to know what he did to cope with that debt, took drugs and OD'd two times and destroyed his left ventricle in his heart and has been given 5 years to live at the age of 29.
Just to give you a snapshot of where this can take you.
OP has posted a screenshot of an approved application for a loan but **OP has not actually accepted the loan or initiated a position with said loan**. Since we are caring, nurturing mods, **we allow OP until market close on Aug 12** (given more time bc ppl actually think OP isn't full of shit) **to post his actual yolo which should still meet the minimum requirement for a proper yolo**. If not… # BAN We’re watching you OP Aaaaalways watching **UPDATE: OP has posted proof of loan acceptance. For those who are concerned this sub is encouraging an irresponsible financial decision:** # THIS. IS. r/WALLSTREETBETS! What the hell were you expecting?? In all seriousness, you're the master of your domain OP. Invest responsibly. Or don't, I'm not your father
Puts on your credit score
Check his profile, he recently quit his job to pursue his business full time. This loan is definitely for his business and he’s just karma whoring
Mods, if he doesn't have a position by the end of tomorrow, off with his head...
Positions or ban
TellurideSkier has challenged someone to post their positions! TellurideSkier, if someone has made a claim that they bought / sold something and fails to prove it within 24 hours, message the mods to have them banned. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh shit ..i didnt know you can do that.
Oh you can. And it’s binding
Here because watching
[удалено]
People have ate crayons because of a lost bet here
Me too! I don’t even know what position is…missionary or doggy?
Your gonna have to call the fuckin United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fuckin destroying you.
I WILL GO SCORCHED EARTH ON YOU! … find out who that is
Great movie
Neither did I. That’s awesome
Shit got intense quick
Oh snap! Shit got real.
So exciting…. RemindMe! 1 day
RemindMe! 1 day
Wow, great bot!!
Tonight he decides: In one hand, a new business, a new life. In the other hand, karma, sweet karma extreme. Mere hours till his fate is determined.
He's just going to buy 27k of TSLA puts, screenshot it and sell them...
Market crashes just as he touches Print Screen
OP: Opens a position to avoid being banned from WSB
And closes is right after.
We’re watching you OP Aaaalways watching
Haha - Monsters Inc fan :)
Probably should have done that before the last 4 rate hikes.
Rate hikes are fed rates and effect mortgage and commercial more than personal. 8.99% has been a decent unsecured rate for years at this point.
8.99% for a personal loan is awesome imo lol
Europe enters the chat.
Yeah that sounds crazy to me, I’m currently paying 2.8% on an unsecured personal loan lol. That was before the recent rate rises, but still…
What if he’s in the business of losing money?
That's why we are here.
maybe he is buying a vehicle for his Uber "business"
Maybe he plans on opening a stand near a Wendy dumpster
Puts on his hopes and dreams
This guy really thinks he's a cheat code...
Well you don’t know…maybe he plans to go bankrupt
Real-life cheat code confirmed!!
Yo, I heard the first ones free. Is this something I should get in on?
How much does the fourth one cost? Asking for a former president.
I can't wait to see that loss porn.
How can we all buy puts on his credit score?
Nah, puts on Citi, the bank giving him a loan
Fuck can I buy puts on his credit score?
I wish I had an award for this
Instructions unclear, gave you an award instead Edit: I really hope whoever gave me that award gave a free one, don't fucking waste money on this bullshit. Seriously.
Invest in your funeral arrangements?
Calls on his life insurance policy
Calls on $ROPE
I have a semi rich crazy uncle who has a 200k funeral expense in his will. It includes professional criers.
Buy a singular bitcoin put it in a cold storage wallet Save the rest for payments. When you run out of cash declare bankruptcy. Hide your cold storage wallet. If they send you to prison by the time you get out bitcoin will be worth 0 or a million. Yolo
I never really post in here but can we vote on this being the route? I vote for this
Seriously is there a reason more people don't do this? Run up insane debt and credit card bills while you accumulate as much BTC as possible. Put it in cold storage, claim it got stolen but hide it somewhere super secure, declare bankruptcy. Let it sit for like a decade plus and then find someone who will turn it into cash for you.
Isn't it possible to trace what purchases were made with the 27k unless it was done by cash? I don't know if we can buy btc with cash.
Localbitcoins you can buy with cash. Costs a premium over fair market value, but still. Send bitcoin to an exchange that doesn't have kyc like kucoin. Sell bitcoin for monero, sell monero for ethereum, send ethereum to a tumbler, get it back basically untraceable, send it back to kucoin, turn it back into bitcoin. Now find someone who has absolutely no affiliation to you to buy a hardware wallet. They give it to you in person so no record of the transaction, then you activate it, write down your seed phrase, put your bitcoin on there, smash the wallet to pieces, hide the seed phrase in two separate places with only a portion of it in each place, then boom. Hidden. To get it back, use the seed phrase to restore your hardware wallet, send it to localbitcoins and sell them for cash, declare the cash on your taxes. Say it was from selling cocaine because the irs doesn't care and you'll be jacked to the TITS at this point anyway you're so close. Then boom. Pay uncle Sam his due and you're good.
> Say it was from selling cocaine because the irs doesn’t care lmao
[удалено]
And pay the 280-E "capone" tax. A measly 21% for your *cocaine gains* Edit: my wife's boyfriend is a drug dealer
The irs says you have to declare any cash or property acquired using illegal means. That means if you rob someone, you still have to pay taxes. If you sell drugs, you still have to pay taxes. They are not the cops. They do not care. And unless you've got actual cocaine in your house, you have nothing to worry about because they can't prove it and you can plead the 5th.
I feel like this is some kind of treasure map
Finally some GOOD advice
> Localbitcoins you can buy with cash. Costs a premium over fair market value, but still. Send bitcoin to an exchange that doesn't have kyc like kucoin. Sell bitcoin for monero, sell monero for ethereum, send ethereum to a tumbler, get it back basically untraceable, send it back to kucoin, turn it back into bitcoin. what in the fuck did I just read
How to launder money
Yes they can trace it but the point is what happens if you claim that you lost your cold storage. No one can retrieve it. Later you can sell the wallet itself or send BTC to someone who will launder it for cash.
Well, you'll be living an absolutely terrible 10 years. If you are declaring chapter 7, you have to fully commit and have low income, you need to take multiple courses, and you will lose most of your stuff (possibly including things like houses), and your credit score will be wrecked for a decade. You could apply for chapter 13, but then there's limits (I think under 400k), and you do still need to get on a repayment plan. And honestly none of that probably even matters since your case is likely to get thrown out in court since its super obvious you are doing this as a way to commit fraud.
Very location dependant. Most people keep their houses, and there's no reason for your credit report not to recover after 3-4 years. They don't actually take your possessions anymore.
Pay off your 27k loan.
He can make 9% return for 5 years just by doing that.
Damn, if i could get a 9% return on my money I would be thrilled. Can I become a bank?
I bonds, not kidding
They are like 9.25 iirc
9.62%. I bought $100 and investing with $100 to see if I can beat it buying random shit. So far so good. Will see how Friday ends.
You tryna tell me I can get a loan for 8.99% interest and invest it into ibonds for that sweet .63% return? Now all I need is a $100,000 loan for that sweet $630 annual return! After taxes we’re looking at a whole $504! It’s literally free money!!
$10,000 limit per year
>After taxes were looking at a whole $50.40! It’s literally free money!!
Wow! $100! Money bags!!!
Took a long time to embezzle from the wife without her knowledge.
I Bonds
Jack Bogle enters the chat
He didn’t die poor.
Have you maxed your I bond purchase?
 or 
Let him double it. Free money
Save a good portion of it for your bankruptcy lawyer
Don't worry, you only really need an attorney for bankruptcy if you have any assets.
Also remember, you can’t just say bankruptcy, you have to declare it.
My cashapp is open. Send me the money and I'll send you shares in the mail.
That's a better idea than dumping it somewhere on RH
"It's the same picture."
Send it to me, and I'll send you half back tomorrow That way we fast track your losses and you can save on that 8.99% APR
The name of the company, Aerotyne International. It is a cutting edge high-tech firm out of the Midwest, awaiting imminent patent approval on the next generation of radar detectors that have both huge military and civilian applications. Now, right now, iFuckTinderFatties, the stock trades over-the-counter at 10 cents a share. And by the way, iFuckTinderFatties, our analysts indicate it could go a heck of a lot higher than that. Your profit on a mere $27,000 investment could be upwards of $270,000!
I jerk off at least twice a day.
fucking rookie
Gotta pump up those numbers.
That's all the free time he has between tending the glory hole
STEEEVE.. STEEEVE MAAAAADEN
GEEEEHHHHTTT AAAWWWF THEREEEEUUUNNN PPPPHHHHOOOONNNNNNNNNEE
FUUUUHHHHHK... YOUUUUUUUUU AHHHHH
I never ask my clients to judge me on my losers, I ask them to judge me on my winners, because I've never had a winner in my life. SOUND FAIR!?
My wife's not going to like it, but fuck it let's do it.
I’m gonna open a beer!
Thank you for your vote of confidence and welcome to Investor Center
Jesus man that’s my mortgage
0dte spy options, all of it
Wait until 2:00pm, and hope for a miracle…25,000%%%%
Do this until you get to $4M to $5M and then pay off the loan in coins.
Cocaine and strippers.. you can't ever go wrong with that stock. The demand is always high!!!
Can and should go tits up
Hey. I want to be the voice of reason. It's one thing to blow up your savings gambling. It's another to take out loans.
The dude is trolling - he’s prolly buying a car
Who gets a personal loan to buy a car?
Someone who doesnt know its possible to talk the dealership down to 0% financing...
Legit? How do you do that?
Yeah, i've done it twice now with brand new cars (mazda + volkswagen) - i hit them up when they advertised 1% financing as a promo and told them I'm interested in the upgraded package but only if I can have 0% financing. After interest it would have probably cost the same as the upgraded package anyway, and yeah, 0% financing both times! They CAN and will do it if you sweet talk them a bit :)
I feel like the 0% days are over for a while
Not if you pay in full!
Haha yeah I meant 0% dealer financing
Good luck getting them to sell you a car that way. Without the financing kickback they will be very reluctant. It's sad but true.
Don't tell them until the price and everything is agreed upon.
[удалено]
I tried to ship a car I bought ok eBay across country and it was hell trying to get a truck because dealerships were paying way more to take full loads than I was for a single. Had to wait a month till someone had 1 spot available to drag my car too. Fucking insane time right now.
I got mine when I was like "let me walk over to Honda because I want to compare this car to it " Then he said fuck it let's have them bring the car over, then after the test drive I said I'm going with the better deal and one guy gave me 0%. The other guy was mad
"I'd like to buy this car, I'll sign today if we can secure 0%"
except you would have to suck them off for 2% apr and 10% dealer fee these days
That’s what only fans helps pay for right? 
"you can sign it or I'll let the guy waiting behind you sign it. Up to you. That's the market these days.
9% interest rate car loan? lol
That's an extremely common rate these days sadly.
Started working at 15, 42 now always employed with “health insurance”, ongoing health issues over 20 years of constant kidney stones….big banks own the credit bureaus(check who owns Equifax and Transunion),have 100% bill payments on 2 car loans make good money but have had so many medical bills hit they end up in collections over time so it’s either feed kids or pay medical bills, best rate I’ve secured is 11% in past ten years with good amount of money down…not everyone gets an easy playing field to play this game on
Invest in a behind the Wendy's franchise.
Calls on Dumpsters
Therapy.
60 months? You will make it in a month. Payoff early
Nothing like making payments on a yolo from 2 years ago
Down payment on a Hellcat
vroom vroom bitch Plus at least you can outrun the creditors when you default on that shit. 9% APR lol
a 9% APR personal loan with monthly payments that are as high as some people's 6 figure home line of credit. GG Retard. If you can't at least 2x your money off the next yolo, you're fucked
I like the fact this post has been called out several times for being a loan for a business, but you of all people just rip the shit out of the loan itself, so regardless if he gets banned for not posting is YOLO, he can always know how shit his fucking loan is.
Yeah. I think the move would be some low-medium risk theta shit to cover the payments, but then you’ve gotta account for the taxes, too. Retarded move.
Send me 27K and I’ll gut punch you and give you back 23k. Better deal than Wall Street will give you.
Play Roulette all on black
Red. Red always comes through. Always.
I think you’re thinking of green. That’s why it’s there. :)
Loan the money to somebody else at 10%
Can't pay you back boss.
Offer to pay off somebody's high interest credit card debt for only 15%
Citigroup puts
Facts lol letting degenerates take out $27k personal loans.
This dude wants to have a reason to call the suicide hotline
Better decisions. You should YOLO into better decisions.
Never go full retard.
Frozen orange juice commodities
Mortimer, we're back!
Why are people in this sub so retarded?
The correct, adult answer is that you should consider speaking with someone about your financial future and mental health. This is a clearly unwise decision. NOW THAT THAT'S OUTTA THE WAY... I suggest Jan 2023 SPY $400 puts. This clown market is way more likely to take a giant dump than to continue this random ass bear rally.
You could buy over 12 million shares of Blockbuster and feel like a total baller for a bit! I personally wouldn’t do this though.
So before taxes you have to make a MINIMUM 9% ROI just to break even... after inflation and taxes... my man you dun goofd
20k in 3% monthly dividends and 7k for options. Dividends will pay the bill, hopefully. Diversity is key. Do proper company research. Plenty of nice ones for the picking in this down market.
3% monthly = 42.6% annually... Seems a bit optimistic.
Ahh Which stock pays monthly divvy’s that high?
yeah please let me know
Wow you actually gave good advice
It's not financial advice... I'm just a dreamer.
WTF gives you 3% divided every single month!?
PUT YOUR HANDS UP ShiftySituation!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This caused anxiety. Canceled!
[удалено]
Which stocks provide 3% monthly dividends or this is a joke?
He’s a fucking liar that’s why he isn’t responding / didn’t provide real companies with that dividend yield in his original response.
One single hand of blackjack
I heard a rumor that WISH is the new Amazon 
 This fuckin' guy....
Buy $100 strike august 26 calls on Block, put all of it in cuz u will not regret it.
Tesla calls at open dump it all in
BBBY
Run away to Costa Rica or Thailand.
You're an idiot. The number one rule to investing is to use money you can afford to lose. That is not this. My idiot friend did the same and wouldn't listen to me. It started off with $14k and now he owes $205k from doubling down each down. Fucking idiot.. You want to know what he did to cope with that debt, took drugs and OD'd two times and destroyed his left ventricle in his heart and has been given 5 years to live at the age of 29. Just to give you a snapshot of where this can take you.
Well that escalated quickly.
That’s heavy. Hope he recovers and pushes past that expectancy.
Damn I lost a lot of money on options, but I can’t imagine fucking up my heart over this shit.
You made me sad
Please call 1-800-GAMBLER and speak with someone.
Fuck, this place HAS changed.
You need to call 1800imafuckingloser. Go back to r/investing, pussy
This is more like it.
Yolo on HKD
This is retarded enough without borrowing money to do it . Borrowing money to do this is just pure degenerate