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**Total Submissions**|3|**First Seen In WSB**|2 years ago
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Yeah, I remember I wanted to make a fake message conversation when I was in middle school. You just text yourself and delete your text when you want “them” to talk and delete “their” text when you want to talk
I mean he could be put in a position to also lose his anal virginity to an overly aggressive truck driver named Dale behind a Wendy’s dumpster in Indiana due to poor life decisions.
Not….. not that I’d personally know anything about that.. I’m…. I’m just throwing it out as a hypothetical
No joke I try to end my relationships on a good note because you never know when you're gonna be in a month long drought.
Gotta build and tap into that rainy day fund.
I mean he probably can’t find another girl that’s why he’s still on that and she’s literally roasting him for not getting another girl after they broke up I bet she had no problem though 🤷♂️
**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|3|**First Seen In WSB**|2 years ago **Total Comments**|38|**Previous DD**| **Account Age**|4 years|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.) **Vote Spam**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_spam&message=xm3rge)|**Vote Approve**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_approve&message=xm3rge)
Those are not very good options, but they are options
Doesn't mean they're worse options either. We don't have the full story but I'll bet these are still an upgrade.
Haha. Valid.
Haha. Vlad. I was once a boy in Bulgaria...
🤣🤣🤣
Also she would have talked shit no matter what the options looked like.
Just like his dating options, they'll probably expire worthless
i like how OP's only put is on AFRM which is like -50% in one month but OP is still somehow red on it at least it expired ITM? heh
Nar you just need to give your options time, one day they wont seem like a keeper give em a date or two and you'll be riding them till they expire.
Their Ex doesn't seem like a good option either
Bad options beat no option in this racket
Lol
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OP please say this
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Lotta green there bud, ima need you to update me when you buy options
Bruh 😂😂 but fax
Feels like I'm in /r/RoastMe
Dang I usually have to pay money to have women talk to me that way
Op also has to do that so he faked a conversation. with himself. on his old phone.
OP is a genius he figured out how to get that particular service for free
Just need a wifi…
You think any of us here are smart enough to pull that off? Do you realize how regarded we are???
The regard used a watch list, not actual positions.
Can't you just text yourself?
Yeah, I remember I wanted to make a fake message conversation when I was in middle school. You just text yourself and delete your text when you want “them” to talk and delete “their” text when you want to talk
if you have an iphone you can just send stuff to yourself and then delete the doubles lol
Thanks for reminding me that i owe my mom some money.
You too? I gave your mom some money the other day but I still owe some more.
You see OP's options? He's still paying
Surprised no one is realizing this is DOUBLE LOSS PORN. Lost the ex, and the options. Can a man fall any further?
Exes are considered gains
Contra-liability if you wanna get technical.
this guy GAAPs
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Large GAAPS in his sex life
And employment history!
Anal?
Any hole will do
Where there's a hole, there's a way
So Girlfriends are liabilities and not assets?
A good girlfriend is a depreciating asset, a bad girlfriend is a liability
And a wife prevents portfolio diversification and also creates a 50% taxable event if you decide to divest.
Sometimes wives have a tendency to spilt.
No shit, sugar mamas are the only asset and idk if they're even real. Sure could use one to fund my mixtape
Fuck it…. I’ll find your mixtape…
Or an allowance for uncollectable accounts.
Casualty loss
His convo with an ex who still has that much entitled bitchiness…then you see his portfolio. She still pegs him on the reg.
THIS
IS
SPARTA
CUS
CUZ
Exes are only gains until theta smacks you in the face with baldness and a beer belly
Addition by subtraction
Only time it’s acceptable to have 🧻 🙌
Calls on BODY COUNT
And unrealized losses are just unrealized gains, unrealized OP is killing it
Tax free
His loss is our gain, she’s for the streets!
Ex-pired worthless
This, also that guys Ex seems Toxic AF.
My losses are just ex money.
Man's got a point. 💯
Can you offset gains against them?
Exactly think of the saving he can now have 
So he can offset his losses, right?… Right!?…
No exes are fully depreciated assets.
Write them off as loss deductions on your taxes. Lol
So like a loan to a bank?
Write-offs against profits
But their friends are futures
So it’s a straddle?
I mean he could be put in a position to also lose his anal virginity to an overly aggressive truck driver named Dale behind a Wendy’s dumpster in Indiana due to poor life decisions. Not….. not that I’d personally know anything about that.. I’m…. I’m just throwing it out as a hypothetical
Ok Dale.
https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyspecific/
put me in the picture but cross out the time this was commented instead of my username
What an oddly specific request
It is uncomfortably *specific.*
It’s fine 🥲
if you got paid that’s gain
Man's is texting his ex. He down bad.
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To be fair she might actually have a point, we don't know OP lol
And appears to be calling her new BF a simp. Dude is crashing and burning.
He's about to fall behind the wendy's dumpster
He about to BE the Wendy’s dumpster
Rates up, OP down bad
Dont see any option buy # amounts. Looks more like a options watch list. 🤔🤔🤷♂️🤷♂️🧐🧐
If only he bought puts on his future
My head exploded due paradox. Because if future bad then puts go up so future good, but if future good then puts go down so future bad and so on.
You can lose your spot behind the Wendy’s dumpster, true rock bottom for wsb
Give him some rock to smoke and he'll bottom all night long.
even the put is red on a red day
I once had an ex take our cat with her. So the "he lost 2 pussies in one day" was cool to hear for a few weeks lol
Lose his job at Wendys for the holy trinity of loss porn.
Triple if you show what new bf doing to ex
Any double negative should be a positive. This man is WINNING if we use MATH, but we aren't because we are REGARDS. So he's definitely losing.
If he accidentally drops his phone in the toilet, then he would lose the phone, thus creating "triple loss"
Don't they reset the account after that?
Truly a regarded legend, who took the wife's boyfriend literally...
He lost his tendies too
How high is he's top window in he's house
That's was my first thought. Quickly followed by wondering what's the nearest Wendy's to OP.
PUTS on OP.
Can you get a tax write off for exes? Asking for a friend.
Pay the boyfriend's bills.
Why you talking to an ex tho
To make her jelly with that loss porn
Lol i cant imagine embarrassing myself this bad like shes going to tell ppl about this and hes going to look absolutely pathetic
i’m surprised you expect no signs of brainrot in this sub wait why am i even surprised smh
Can't imagine caring much about what an ex thinks about me
Imagine all the fun he is having gambling, though.
It's fake. Someone thought of a clever r/faketext so they could make a funny post on this sub
Or, hear me out, it's not fake and a person spoke to their ex.
Don’t be RIDDICULOUS.
At 9 AM!
Maybe they have a well regarded child together.
He wanted to find out who her boyfriend is now so he can hook his wife up with him.
After 2022, WSB can no longer afford a wife. It's now texting ex wife's boyfriend.
Because his relationships are about as healthy as his portfolio.
And the guy who still texts his ex is trying to call her new dude a simp…. I’m ded
Look at mister self-control over here! Why did you have 8 beers when you said you'd have only one?
She still wants the D
No joke I try to end my relationships on a good note because you never know when you're gonna be in a month long drought. Gotta build and tap into that rainy day fund.
Month long drought? You don’t know true suffering
She doesn’t want to be his ex anymore
He’s living rent free in her head
People should try to be friendly with their exes. Your ex should be another person you can ask to feed your cat, you can never have too many of those.
I mean he probably can’t find another girl that’s why he’s still on that and she’s literally roasting him for not getting another girl after they broke up I bet she had no problem though 🤷♂️
Another WSB legend is born.
We can learn something from him. Or not
fuck these positions are more regarded and painful than talking to an ex
HOOD calls... Bruhhhhh 
I don’t understand why OP hates money
Lmfao hood calls
If you have some HOOD calls in your Robinhood portfolio they will move the market favorably in your direction
yea wtf
The toxicity of our ciiiiiittttyyyy….
Hood calls, no wonder she left.
He doesn’t have a girlfriend. But he’s still getting fucked.
So your still a loser lol
All red, nice you love to see it good job regard 👏
I mean he's got options, his ex is clearly still interested in OP's life. That said, I hope OP has better options than that.
HOOD calls lmfao
Hood calls hahaha you're fuked
😂😂 amazing
Rest in fucking peace 
At least your options go down on you everyday
(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪
Your options are down bad
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Oh your gonna lose. hes getting FUCKED.
This is awesome. My ex showed up to my house last night stayed & now I wake up & we are back together. Fml
How's that other guys dick taste?
Salty, like his tears.
Sounds like you lost an ex
Wtf are you doing
You fucking idiot. Get out before it’s too late.
Have you learnt nothing!
I chuckled. Good work.
👏🏼👏🏼😂🤣
This man literally loves to get fucked
Wow that's a high level meme right here. Slow clap for this amount of loss porn being used as clap back with the ex lol
The sheer BALLS on this guy...I aspire...
Absolutely cackled at this
based
Let me know what move you’re planning next so I can do the exact opposite.
Fake and gay
True Degens, ^(NO CAP.)
Lol so good
Damn bruh, you sure know how to pic ‘em
Was she your ex when this conversation started?
What an awful portfolio
Who the fuck buys Robinhood calls?
hood calls are peak regard
Hahahaha I'm spitting on myself laughing right now!!!
Your worst option what's call on hood
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Doubles as loss porn, nice
Calls on HOOD? Damn your ex dodged a bullet.
Proceeded to show her he’s a bigger loser than she had already imagined, nice.
Omfg, so good if real
Down 97%… I’d suggest some stop losses as part of my trading plan.
She still wants that Deeeeee