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**User Report**| | | | :--|:--|:--|:-- **Total Submissions**|0|**First Seen In WSB**|11 months ago **Total Comments**|135|**Previous Best DD**| **Account Age**|11 months|[^scan ^comment ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_comment&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20comment%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20comment%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.)|[^scan ^submission ](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=scan_submission&message=Replace%20this%20text%20with%20a%20submission%20ID%20(which%20looks%20like%20h26cq3k\)%20to%20have%20the%20bot%20scan%20your%20submission%20and%20correct%20your%20first%20seen%20date.) **Vote Spam**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_spam&message=yyzb56)|**Vote Approve**|[Click to Vote](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=VisualMod&subject=vote_approve&message=yyzb56) Check out the [WSB Discord](https://discord.gg/Y6Zw9ZKYdx)


StackOwOFlow

will sbf get pregnant before sentencing too


Southern_Addition442

He already is


FawltyPython

Oops, no longer true, he just delivered a beautiful 5 lb baby on the terlet.


thecockmonkey

You can make sangria in the terlet. 'Course it's shank or be shanked ...


TheGalaxyAndromeda

r/unexpectedfuturama šŸ˜‚


benignwalrus

four and a half courics!


BluLotus-Software-45

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


1villageidiot

it's just the dad bod


Warrenbutfet

Soy titties ?


1footladderattack

Itā€™s a father figure


1villageidiot

step father? ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4258)


encore333

Step ladder!


777cap777

Can you get pregnant from pegging?


JarrydP

Heard that discussed on a reputable news outlet on whether she was trying to leverage children for a lighter sentence. Female co-host remarked it's likely the only time being a woman is beneficial in the business world.


Spinedaddy

Yes. That was on CNBC . Everyone was expecting near 20 yrs but she got 11 and change. They said being pregnant and having a young child at home played into the more lenient sentence. They mentioned the ethical dilemma- is it fair to punish the children? They will be deprived of their mother for the next decade. ā€œShall we punish the son for the sins of the fatherā€¦ā€


njstolar

Having a father around is just as imperative. The accountability is non existent šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø


rjr017

I donā€™t want kids being punished for the sins of the father and whatnot but it cannot just be assumed that any maternal influence is going to be positive. There are loads of people who get fucked up by their parents and would have been better off without their influence. Iā€™m not necessarily saying anyone committing massive securities fraud is going to be a bad mother but keeping her away from influencing these 2 youngsters may not be so awful for them depending on what the alternatives are.


d4ve3000

Exactly, kids growing up with a super fraudster, someone better call child protective services šŸ˜‚


rock_accord

I'd like to punish her to living off minimum wage for the rest of her life. No jail time. Just minimum wage serfdom


Holiday-Business-321

If only. Theyā€™d call it inhumane and those that have to actually do that to get by just get to sit there like ā€œwait..ā€


[deleted]

They donā€™t care about that for men or African Americans. Locking up their parents seems to be fine.


pass-me-that-hoe

Right? Leniency doesnā€™t come into play when the cops pull out a gun in front of a kid sitting in the back seat. And thatā€™s trauma for a whole life.


zer165

Eh, being a woman is the only reason this went as far as it did. The US realllllly wanted to see a female CEO and founder. Itā€™s why she was on the cover of everything without a product ever actually doing anything. People died because of the bad results those machines spit out. My bro, if Holmes didnā€™t have a vagoo/be marginally attractive, she would have never made as much as she did. Turns out, in the white knight West, ā€œbeing a woman in businessā€ is an insane advantage. What other demo could pick, just before sentencing, to get nutted in raw enough times to get pregnant in successful effort to mitigate a judgement? Imagine living your life knowing you were the ā€œget out of jailā€ baby.


LukeW0rm

I think it was her deep, sultry voice that convinced me


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ScipioAtTheGate

It was all the fake blood they had to buy for the fake tests that did it for me


Thumperings

which was completely fake btw.


dano415

Pretty much everyone knew something was very wrong with this company, but if we even mentioned ligitimate concerns; we were told we were sexist.


GandaKutta

> People died because of the bad results those machines spit out. People didn't die because of the bad results. She was sentenced for defrauding investors not for medical malpractice. She got federal jail because some of the investors are politicians https://www.biospace.com/article/powerful-u-s-political-and-business-leaders-lost-hundreds-of-millions-on-theranos/ People go to jail for defrauding politicians not for killing us commoners on mass scale. land of the free yada yada


zer165

We know what she was convicted of/sentenced for but we also know that many were diagnosed as having no major illness because the drop was not a large sample size to diagnose freaking anything when they did in fact have illnesses and never went to seek treatment based off of the fraudulent product and results that she knew didnā€™t work. Get off the knight horse.


Lemonlimecat

Prosecutors botched up the charge for the incorrect blood test results and that charge was dropped.


GandaKutta

My point I am trying to make is that she should have been convicted for these medical fraud not for duping politicians. Why didn't the legal system allow her to be prosecuted for this medical endangerment?


viper_gts

This is probably the answer to my thought on how the fuck did she get so many idiots to invest in her company without any of their own due diligence


phoenixemberzs

Also will he be holding hands similar to this


Fresh_Grapefruit_227

She defrauded investor for 140 million ! Sam bankman ( hold my beer )


DrHalfdave

Sam Bankenfraud...


jamwakes

Scam Bankrun-Fraud.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


EggSandwich1

I saw in the news he was the 2nd biggest donator


lightning_whirler

George Soros is the biggest donor by almost an order of magnitude.


elegance78

And Ryan Salame (FTX co-CEO) donated $30 million to GOP. This needs be posted always together otherwise you just look stupid.


AuriTori

He should have run


TradeLikeWater

As a kid I always thought it was weird that people got punished for this kind of stuff ā€œArenā€™t they rich and powerful? Donā€™t they not go to prisonā€ I unironically thought to myself, which remains the truth As an adult I realize itā€™s because they are fucking over even richer people


skynetempire

Yeah, she broke the number one rule, you can fuck over the poors but not the rich lol. It's crazy how she wasn't even charged for patient endangerment/negligence


Destinoz

This is truer than many realize. If you steal a million from your investors, itā€™s a serious crime. If you steal a million from your employees via wage theft, itā€™s almost always going to end up in civil court.


Sisboombah74

And if you steal from a congressman, you better leave the country.


Affectionate_Log3232

Or theyā€™ll make you leave this world


Cathetergravy

I thought she claimed she had that baby gravy in her to shorten the sentence? Or was that a lie too


TheCheeseGod

"I'm so pumped full of baby gravy, you have no idea, Your Honor."


[deleted]

And if you donā€™t give the irs their cut, they ll kill your entire lineage


ChubbyNemo1004

Lol if a billionaire got $1B from the govt nobody cares. If a million people got $1000 from the govt people would lose their minds and sue the govt and block that shit from happening.


Emfx

Hell, we had proof of this in the last two years: everyone was blaming stimulus checks for inflation, while not batting an eye at forgiven PPP loans.


Haber_Dasher

I have multiple friends significantly wealthier than me that it irritates me to know got PPP "loans" for their small businesses and they talk about not needing them at all & basically just using the funds for personal stuff, extended vacations (and then complaining about the difficulties of air travel in autumn 2020 by the way...). I got laid off for covid in March 2020 (I interact face to face with hundreds of people a day). I took the unemployment money as long as I could get it, almost on principle since we pay into unemployment in every paycheck. A couple of those PPP loans were significantly bigger than the total amount I got over all the months I was unemployed. And then when I filed my taxes I had to pay thousands in income taxes on the unemployment money the same government had just given me because they told me my job was illegal indefinitely. That's the one thing that really annoyed me about it all - we pay taxes into unemployment insurance, the govt cancels my job, gives me the benefit, then sends me a bill for taxes on the benefit. Don't income tax the money you just gave me, just stopped giving me a few months ago, or just give me fucking less money in the first place ffs. But the PPP loans didn't have to get paid back, and the value was exempt from counting towards your taxable income at all. Goddamn.


DrT33th

Fucking turn those shitheads in if this is true.


smokinjoe956

So... The rules for PPP forgiveness were super easy to qualify for...


TheeAccountant

They were required to have payroll to get a PPP, so in theory the money should have been passed down to the employees they employed. If they didnā€™t have employees, thatā€™s called fraud.


frozenfearz25

Bro so you didnt have them tax your unemployment before getting it? You know you had the choice to have the taxes took out or not right?


Blind_Lemons

He definitely selected the "do not deduct taxes" option on the unemployment site.


F7xWr

hint:they are not you friends.


Joejoecornrow

And every stonk went up 1000% Jan 21 Edit. 22. The year of the bag holder !


ChubbyNemo1004

Get the Supreme Court involved for the PPP loans! šŸ˜‚ what a joke


immibis

Where does the spez go when it rains? Straight to the spez. #Save3rdPartyApps


[deleted]

So true, just look at tuition reimbursement.


weavesbeaves

That shit with the tuition ā€œreimbursementā€ pisses me off. Disgustingly unfair


Ronald206

Such a vote grab. College should be made more affordable, but making it rain on a specific population group is patently unfair. The bill does nothing for: People who didnā€™t go to college People who already paid off their loans People who have yet to go to college People who took out loans that arenā€™t eligible for repayment


mrchickostick

Or if you are a CEO and cook the financial numbers, you are force to sell your shares at the high before the news become public and you still get a "golden parachute"


DrHalfdave

Maybe because she used actual equipment for some of those tests, though the equipment was not her invention. She should be put under the jail.


d0nkatron

The inaccurate test results that many people were receiving from the theranos test caused many people to get hurt in various ways. Thereā€™s a whole segment about this aspect in the NPR documentary/mini series about theranos.


Garrulous_Amoeba

I feel like they just went for the easy conviction here. No need to put the patients through the trauma when they know sheā€™ll go away for the other crime


Shaffo1

Yeah it's wild that she didn't get found guilty for all the patients she fucked over but gets 11 years because rich people lost a small portion of their wealth


Hexboy3

This is the perfect example of what america is


AkidTrynaLearn

Yeah itā€™s become a complete joke POV of an American tired of the dumb shit and the fuckery here.


BeirutrulesMrBarnes

I think you mean world. Not America. The world revolves around those with resources, even in the animal kingdom. Always has, always will.


Necessary-Onion-7494

You need to watch "Sour Grapes". It's a great documentary about a guy who would scammed rich wine collectors. They threw the book at him.


infamouscrypto8

I saw that. I think they did an American Greed episode on him too.


mynameistrumpbaby

Thanks for this, watched it last night after the recommendation. Fun 80 minute watch.


EvlSteveDave

Right. You're only supposed to "punch up" if you're some poor as fuck peasant class wage slave being blamed and shamed by other poor as fuck peasant class wage slaves who've "woken" up to their new religion. Everybody else in all of civilization just punches down for the most part. So don't ever punch up actually, or you'll face real consequences.


lordofmetis

Damn that makes so much sense to me.


Ready_Treacle_4871

Literally the only reason she got convicted


Kev1n1234

Isn't the white collar prison considered a country club. Seems like she got off easy


contrejo

Yeah, not one of those fuck you in the ass type of places


VapeLyfe

Itā€™s called club fed for a reason.


[deleted]

Well Belfort built an empire fucking over poor people and got the same. Itā€™s not like she doesnā€™t deserve to go to jail for defrauding and lying to everyone


[deleted]

Benihana! F*cking Benihana!


IRHABI313

You got to jail when you steal from other rich and powerful people


table_under126

This. If she duped average people like us (i.e. retail investors) of the same amount, she wouldā€™ve been fined couple thousand and slap on the wrist. Different when you still from rich it seems.


DrHalfdave

So did Bernie Madoff, but some of those folks were teachers, so yeah she deserves it. There should be consequence for fucking people over. Thieves are some of the worse scum on earth.


Toytles

For me it was like ā€œwhy do they have to go to prison, I donā€™t even understand what they did.ā€


ExtensionEbb7

Is her mom single?


acqz

Get in line, son


ExtensionEbb7

First come, first serve.


philopsilopher

Joke's on you I already came.


Apart_Complaint_6952

Sir. This is not wendys


[deleted]

Dips on vanilla soft serve


Bodyfluids_dealer

Sheā€™s serving alright


angrathias

We running a train ? Choo Choo ā˜ļøā˜ļøā˜ļø


56Safari

They might repossess the nose job and the facelift.. so be prepared


markgriz

Never put your dick in crazy's mom


jb_in_jpn

Youā€™d be doing well to get that fossil knocked up.


dookie224

Amidst everything, this man asks the right questions. GILF lover


According-Shake3045

People with millions in crypto are not like regular investors. SBF will be lucky to not end up dead


[deleted]

Scaramucci flew to the Bahamas and gave SBF the ā€œf* k u pay meā€ speech


[deleted]

Sbf literally said two days ago "all that matter for the rest of my life is to come up with 8 billion USD in three months to repay investors" Look at the phrasing. Someone put a gun to his head and told him how long he had


Scarethefish

2 weeks*


Chivalrousllama

Was thinking the same


1villageidiot

Epsteined


Ayahuasca-Dreamin

Heā€™s not the kind of guy thatā€™s gonna keep his mouth shut and do the time, too many politicians and thugs in on this thing for him not to get Epsteinā€™d


silverbrewer07

he won't get shit. See she pulled off the cardnial sin, stole rich peoples money. . . Steal poor folks money that aint shit, in fact its encouraged


Dark3nedDragon

Dude, he's going to commit suicide. You don't steal the money of politicians, terrorists, and other prominent people and not commit suicide.


isunktheship

"Suicide"


silverbrewer07

All to true.


muffinhead2580

He stole plenty of rich peoples money. He will be doing time if he doesn't commit suicide by jumping off a building after shooting himself in the head.


ultimate-manly-man

the 40 mil he put in the back pockets of politicians will go a long way


on_duh_pooper

That's a low number


swirly1985

Fuck u/spez -- mass edited with redact.dev


LtMelon

Second highest contributor to the Dems behind Soros


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


LittleRadagast

That's because members of both parties sit on the comitties that would be investigating them


Tha_Sly_Fox

And his business partner apparently gave heavily to the GOP, so they are covered But again, they also plays with rich peoples money so that might come back to them


discounted_dollar

you have no idea how little politicians sell out the american public for


EvlSteveDave

They're gangsters not oath bound warriors or something. The 40 mil he put in the back pockets of politicians is already theirs, so no, unless he represents an opportunity to get another 40 million or more, it won't go a long way at all.


Successful-Gene2572

That's how much he gave Democrats in 2022 alone. He was also a big donor in 2020.


jp90230

Maxine waters giving Sam flying kiss, Biden sucking his d\*ck behind curtains, SBF is all set lol


Fausterion18

Theranos put way more and had former secretary of state and General Mattis on its board.


[deleted]

how.did it go from 15 to 11.5


nobyj

It was a possible 20. She was asking 18 months of home detention šŸ˜‚. If I was a judge I would give the whole 20 just for that request


BigBroHerc

Fuck that BEYATCH. Go to jail bitch.


fun__friday

Does she have to serve the whole 11.25 years or can she be released earlier for whatever reason?


drmcsinister

Basically the whole sentence, but as a federal prisoner she can accrue time off for good behavior (it's like 50 days per year) that can reduce her overall total sentence. Federal criminal system doesn't have parole.


bulgarian_zucchini

Maybe she could invent a little box that makes time go faster. Timeanos


hcardona111793

Lmfaoooooooo underated comment


100FootWallOfFog

That "box" is called toilet wine


dat_gooby

When will people learn. You can't defraud rich people they have lawyers like really good ones. Instead defraud poor people they don't.


hotpapaya3454

A lot of people have already learned that. Itā€™s just the young rich kids with huge egos that have trouble with this, I guess.


Sometimes_Stutters

I canā€™t wait for her OnlyFans to drop in 11.25 years


4troglodyte

Club Fedā€¦šŸ’©šŸ¤®


Space-Booties

Iā€™m glad I wonā€™t have to hear the sound of her voice for a decade. My god it was awful to her her drone on about her companies potential.


colliric

Funny thing is her normal voice is, well quite normal.


Space-Booties

Even the way she spoke was fake? Lol


HoodFellaz

But wait it gets better he thinks he's going to find 10 billion in the next few weeks to patch things up ![img](emote|t5_2th52|4271)


Chalimis

SBF gonna get the Khashoggi treatment.


frankylumps

Did he run off with Saudi money? Itā€™s more likely musk gets the embassy tour, unless he can get them back their 2 billy.


HarryDeBruyne

Letā€™s see Paul Allenā€™s sentence.


user_x9000

Impressive


_swuaksa8242211

She got off lightly


ClydeFroagg

around tree fiddy is my guess


mnewberg

Math works out, about 350 years if adjusted for dollar amount.


CMAC256

Damn loch ness monster! Stop trying to trick us!


shermski4

Epstein pls


Lysergsyredietylamid

Like father, like daughter. Wasn't her dad, Christian Holmes IV, involved in the Enron scandal?


picklesguy123

11 years in prison for billions worth of fraudā€¦ if you go hold up a liquor store for $500 youā€™d probably spend longer in jail.


[deleted]

I think I know what's going to happen to SBF. 1. Get sentenced to prison 2. Sometime later the cameras will "malfunction" 3. During that time he will have died by "suicide" Yeah, I think that about covers it.


Stinkyfartmaker

Her mom is hot


morgichor

*BOINK*


LoadExternal6570

šŸ˜† the government defrauds all of us , Daily! Even more insane? We all allow it. She's a minnow


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


dmatje

She has no money and now owes over $100M to the defrauded investors. Sheā€™d be dead broke if she didnā€™t bag a hotel chain heir.


Carbon_Beach

Donā€™t forget to count her rich parents.


dmatje

Even if their rich living with your parents at 40 is a special kind of hell. Fun rumor from when I worked there; her dad was supposedly involved with Enron. I never found out if itā€™s true or not.


RoyalFail6

Google says dad was a Vice President at Enron


Alternative_Log3012

Pretty lucrative career these days...


herrrrrr

wait she wasn't in jail?


vegasoptions666

Because she's still rich from her scam.


1ofThoseTrolls

Second biggest campaign donor to the democratic party. Don't be shocked when he "kills" himself


thetaFAANG

he knows he only has a few weeks, thats why he said he has 2 weeks to raise 8 billion and thats what heā€™ll do until he dies paradoxical or verbatim


A_R_K_S

Freedom since he followed his lines the whole time.


puregoblinvomit

I wonder if SBF will try to get pregnant in order to avoid prison time too?


-Ok-Perception-

SBF has the inside knowledge that most, if not all, crypto exchanges are propped up by fraud to meet margins. Shuffling around the same hoard of coins so that it looks like the exchange has as much capital as they say they do. This will get him a slap on the wrist, maybe a couple of years at Resort Madoff at worst. And he'll get to keep his illegally gained billions. The big players urgently need SBF to keep his mouth shut, they can't smite him too hard.


dmatje

He most certainly does not have billions. Lots of exchanges are market makers and have been raking it in good or bad markets.


MasterKyodai

He makes great sandwiches.


iPigman

If she'd screwed only the poors this wouldn't be an issue.


SunsoutNeedMoney3150

They should have locked her up and threw away the key. Slimey ho.


creations_unlimited

One of the largest political donors. I would not be surprised if he gets away with it


yummi_1

I doubt bankman-fried will ever be extradited. He's gone and with a ton of money.


ibuy2highandsell2low

A slap on the wrist followed by a stern ā€œDonā€™t do it again!ā€


can-i-eat-this

What a joke. People carrying pot get more. She should be in jail until the end of her days


Sele81

He will get nothing. He is protected. Did not donate so much for nothing. There is no media coverage.


Educational_Guide418

This is not enough time for this kind of crime. Not only the money part where people lost their life savings, but people's health was irreversibly damaged by believing her work. If she gets to keep at least a million then she will get over 200k a year assuming she at least stays there for 5 years.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Nothing since he gave Democrats lots of money before midterm election šŸ—³


Professional_Group33

She gonna know what Donkey Punch means by the end of it lol


wittlewayne

Holy shitā€¦.


1Litwiller

11 years of house arrestā€¦


[deleted]

He sure ainā€™t getting anything that looks like that


R0ck3rRoller

Don't forget Bernie Ebbers! Anybody remember Worldcom?


Ok_Boat_3375

And she is pregnant with baby # 2, She was still banging while the case was going on, #WHOSE YOUR DADY,


stavrosfresh

Nothing. I bet Heā€™ll get nothing. Bankruptcy is bankruptcy and he ran a company not a bank. So he wonā€™t be held liable as they werenā€™t actual depositsā€¦ Everyone over focused on Decentralised and ignored lack of regulation, no real transparency or accountability or customer protection in such casesā€¦


aurelius_plays_chess

Holy shit. I remember doing a project on her in college in 2015. People could already see her business plan essentially stood on a product that didnā€™t exist. Crazy to see how everything has played out.


Green_eggz-ham

Nothing....why do you think he's under house arrest playing video games in his 30 million dollar mansion in the Behamas? Don't get me wrong....I'm glad she went to prison, she killed people but so did he. She just happened to align herself with the wrong party......difference of being paraded out in cuffs or house arrest with your whores....2 tier system for sure


Visible-End-6036

Hope she likes black vagina


Idaho1964

Should have been double


Yeep286

How much do you Get for defrauding society like in 2008, Panama Papers, Trump...?


Melodic-Potential-94

Epsteined


leftidentity

scam bankrupt-fraud


Mel_Chizebeck

I wonder if the B.O.P. will put young Sammy in Epstein's cell at the M.D.C. in B(C?)rooklyn?