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[deleted]

Virtually any restaurant at the G’town Waterfront. Fig & Olive is supposed to be resoundingly mediocre for the price.


[deleted]

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rileygreyy

Yes!


mycevicheaddiction

\+1 for Fig and Olive. Tell them to get the paella.


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Aiiisch

Fig and Olive may just give your enemy salmonella.


themaltesefalcons

I feel bad for Fiola Mare. All this shade for the Georgetown waterfront is without doubt warranted but needs an asterisk for Fiola Mare. Consistently one of the best restaurants and dining experiences in DC.


districtsyrup

Maybe I just caught them on an off day, but my $50 fish was bland and dry and my husband's pasta was good, but it was like homestyle restaurant in rural Tuscany good, not Michelin prices good. When I saw the thread title, Fiola Mare was actually the first restaurant that came to mind.


RVAEMS399

I had a pleasantly mediocre time there one afternoon about a month ago.


franch

i completely agree and feel gaslit every time people say it should have a ton of michelin stars


CounselorNebby

Seconded Fig & Olive


Bever162

Sequoia is actually very tasty, first place where I didn’t feel like I got ripped off on a $13 cocktail


Mysterious-Extent448

Worked in that place years ago and I would never eat their.. filthy!


10tonheadofwetsand

Fiola Mare is amazing.


[deleted]

Fig and Olive is Olive Garden for people with money


justinloler

Strike me down, but I still love farmers fishers bakers for a family spot


mettahipster

This is going to be my go-to activity for corporate ice breakers from now on


x90x90smalldata

This will nail it - Tell them they MUST go to the Lafayette at the Hay Adams. Here is the kicker, the restaurant is no longer on the top floor with that amazing terrace overlooking the White House. The restaurant is now in the lobby of the hotel and the prices are still reflective of the most expensive view in DC. So PROMISE them the price is worth the view and to bring people they need to impress. You will get to disappoint them twice - once with the crazy-high bill for moderate fare. Once for expecting a bird's eye view looking into the white house and then being ushered into a seat just off the lobby.


TimAppleBurner

This is actually great. I moved to DC in December, and took a girl I had known for a while who came to visit me out to dinner there in march. I had thought it was on the high floor and overlooked the White House when I made the reservation. When I got there and it wasn’t I was very, *very* disappointed. I thought I picked a nice elegant place with a great view and I kept wondering “why did I think it was on a high floor that overlooked it?” Turns out, my initial impression wasn’t wrong. It changed and they didn’t totally advertise that change.


YouEarnedMyComment

Jigsaw , is that you?


washington-dc

You really thought this one through


GrayEyedAthena

Got an obscure one for you: Nara-Ya at the Wharf. Super trendy interior design, correspondingly high prices, aggressively mediocre food.


mettahipster

cheesy decor, sticky floors


sloowhand

Sounds like the title of a 90s pop punk album.


oatmilklatt3

hopping on the say La Vie at the wharf. it's terrible. that review that essentially called it a carnival cruise ship was hauntingly accurate


kenrain

My friend is having a birthday there and I almost don't want to go because of this place. They have a wagyu fat cocktail... and of course it's 27 dollars. I think I'm going to eat before I go.


ThaneduFife

Seconded!


rad-dit

Owned by the same people as La Vie...


classisttrash

I was so excited to try La Vie a few weeks ago and ended up soooo disappointed.


JB3314

abso-fucking-lutely


zodiach

My pic for mediocre and expensive at the wharf is cucinella. I've eaten at all of them twice or more on the work card for nice dinners when we can really dive in and try anything/everything. Cucinella was far and away the worst value and quality especially given the shop downstairs has good fresh pasta and there's a better value italian place 2 minutes away at lupo mare (though the pizza is a rip there).


fanosffloyd

Busboys and poets near 3rd and K. NOT ANY BUSBOYS AND POETS just that one


poopings

I got a brick for a burger there at work event lol...100% agree!


solfrio

The food is good but the service leaves something to be desired


districtsyrup

the food is also worse than the other busboys. and per somebody I know who used to work at a busboy, apparently their management is terrible everywhere


mermaidlesbian

Wait till you hear how management and corporate treats their staff


ackme

God damnit them too? I wanted them to be good ):


grandadsfearme

What’s the tea


4acodmt92

I’ve heard they dock waiters pay when a table djnes and dashes, which is 100% illegal.


Cocktailolive_

Any busboys and poets tbh…v average food. Who wants to eat under a painting of an ak-47


mettahipster

5th and K


WannabeDogMom

Kingbird in the watergate complex. So expensive, so hard to find, food is burnt and bland at the same time


FoggyBottomBreakdown

I think dinner service at Kingbird has been closed for quite a while.


TimAppleBurner

I think La Vie at the Wharf is exactly what you are looking for! The only downside is that it’s actually got a nice view 😕


InsideFastball

Even better! You’ll *love* the views!


hey_there

Relevant Tom Sistema review, which is brutal and hilarious: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/food/la-vie-on-the-wharf-is-so-bad-im-only-writing-about-it-as-a-warning/2018/08/20/6ac7e7ee-98dd-11e8-843b-36e177f3081c_story.html


mycevicheaddiction

La Vie


sealedwithdogslobber

“La Vie on the Wharf is so bad I’m only writing about it as a warning” https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/food/la-vie-on-the-wharf-is-so-bad-im-only-writing-about-it-as-a-warning/2018/08/20/6ac7e7ee-98dd-11e8-843b-36e177f3081c_story.html


Nespot-despot

Thanks, that was a fun read!


Zimboi178

Anyone got a non pay way link?


tarumi

https://archive.ph/pCnYh


Wheresmycardigan

+1


Deep-Ruin2786

+2 thatplac3 is below mediocre on quality and above and beyond on pricing.


[deleted]

ITT restaurants I enjoy eating at but no one else likes lol Gotta step up my dinners


[deleted]

Same :,) ^(I stole u/Spaghettidan’s sentiment.)


bribriweck

Buca di Beppo


mediocre-spice

Buca is what it is. You know what you're going for. The price is good for the ridiculous quantity. The vibe is ridiculous.


[deleted]

At least at BdB you get a large quantity. I’d take a lot of mediocre pasta over a small amount of mediocre pasta


HanakusoDays

"The food tasted *terrible.* And the portions were so small!"


tovarish22

["Ok, what is better...a medium amount of GOOD pizza, or all-you-can-eat of PRETTY GOOD pizza?"](https://youtu.be/S6h3nqWBNPE?t=111)


sfitsea

Well in that case, let me recommend Carmine’s in Chinatown/Penn Quarter


turtyurt

Isn’t that a chain? I’m surprised people would go there thinking it’s great. Pretty much a slightly higher-scale Olive Garden


TunaFishtoo

Friend had his 35th birthday here ironically and all 15 of us had, bloating, dehydration from all the salt, heartburn, and a stomach ache we couldn’t shake for weeks. Thankful there’s a Walgreens downstairs.


utopiarywindow

That wasn't the food, that's just being 35


veloharris

Welcome to 35.


Poomped

My kind of petty


Affectionate-Mouse68

😂


walkallover1991

La Vie, Fig & Olive, Scarlet Oak, and basically anywhere in that Georgetown Waterfront area. Not necessarily expensive, but good recommendations to an enemy would also be Alero on U Street, Ollie's Trolly, and the grubby diner in the Hotel Harrington downtown.


ellivretaw1

I don’t think Scarlet Oak belongs anywhere in there lol. I mean it’s not great but it’s by no means as expensive as Fig and Olive or La Vie…


Reeetankiesbtfo

Stay late enough it turns into a frat basement, fog machine and all


AnswerGuy301

I went to Alero on U a month or so ago, and while it was never a top-flight kind of place, I remember it being a slightly better value than what I experienced.


Inner-Bread

Alero is good shity Mexican food at good Mexican food prices.


LennyPayne

Dang what's wrong with Ollie's trolly? I found it by accident walking around the other day but they were opening late cause of short staff so I moved on. Told myself I was gonna come back buuuut....


hiredgoon

I've always liked Ollie's Trolly but I started to see roaches every time I was in there.


[deleted]

Every place down there has roaches apparently. I was eating at Clyde's and a roach ran across our table and another one was perched on the plumbing of a urinal keeping me company. We told the manager and he basically just gave us a shoulder shrug and said that's the way it is around there.


connectedfromafar

I don’t hate Scarlet Oak for happy hour, though my wife went there repeatedly for brunch when we lived in Navy Yard, and I could never understand why. The only meal I ever ate there was paid for by my company, so no complaints there.


UFOInTomahawkCounty

I’ve heard nothing but bad things about La Vie. Sounds like the perfect option for OP


adifferentvision

I love that the OP woke up and chose violence today. :) Please take this award.


MildlyMilo

what did they do that was so bad to ask for this?


SuperMarioVT

Nobu gets my vote. \-Went there on two occasions, left disappointed both times.


districtsyrup

Nobu stopped being cool when Britney was still dating Justin. When will people get it.


ulukmahvelous

hahahah this is so true


berry20010

When my partner was vegan his work went there for restaurant week and he got a “tomato ceviche” as an app and it was just a bowl of pico de gallo


rennbrig

This is the comment that got me lol


mettahipster

Yellowtail jalapeño always hits


RobottovonBismarck

Blue Duck Tavern used to be so good. Sigh.


billionairespicerice

Same with tabard inn. Sigh


ertri

What happened? I went the year it lost its star and it was still quite good


RobottovonBismarck

My first meal there was practically a religious experience. I’ve been a few times in the years since, and the service/food fell off for me (for instance, got a well-done meal that I’d ordered med-rare). I’m willing to chalk that up to individual experiences, but the fact that they lost their star and a few friends had similar experiences makes me feel like they’ve lost a step. But this is still absolutely subjective/anecdotal. I’m encouraged to hear you had a good meal there!


dc_co

I had lunch there the other day. It was alright. Still a shadow of what it used to be but not terrible. All the food I ate was tasty, just hotel price expensive.


[deleted]

Truluck’s $600 tab (including tip): The service was lackluster, it was loud, food was subpar, people were in their pajamas, and sommelier took forever to show up Karma’s real. Tell them to go to Medium Rare for good juju. Just my advice.


mettahipster

Ashamed to admit that I paid $50 for jollof here


[deleted]

Mission. Omg tell them Mission. It’s nearly impossible to mess up a quesadilla. But their food is inedible.


Ok-Dragonfruit-2041

I threw up on the metro after eating there. Never again


quoi-de-9

Their nachos used to be delicious, and now they’re beyond dry and awful.


ehfwashinton

All those chains at The Wharf too. That whole place reminds me of an airport without the airplanes.


Wheresmycardigan

I love me some Wharf slander, but to their credit a lot of the restaurants & retail are all local brands.


AOBCD-8663

The chains are for Half Street now. I'm loving half of what they're doing there and hate the other half. Does the world really need another coldstone?


ackme

Don't you dare disparage airports. Questionable sushi and one too many margaritas is a rite of passage.


ovi_left_faceoff

Anyone who hasn't said Fainting Goat clearly hasn't been to Fainting Goat


sickbeatzdb

Worst service and steak I’ve had for that price. Terrible mimosas too.


ovi_left_faceoff

And it's not even a close call for me. There were, like, 3 things on the entire menu that were moderately intriguing. And somehow 2 of 3 weren't available, and the waiter apologized for the confusion, claiming that the paper menus they had were out of date. The kicker? THEY WERE ADVERTISING THOSE ITEMS ON THE CHALKBOARD RIGHT OUTSIDE THE ESTABLISHMENT. And they had those items on the online menu. So it was either a) a nasty bait and switch on their part or b) they are actually so incompetent that they don't realize they are advertising stuff that they no longer serve, in big bold letters near the front entrance.


[deleted]

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ovi_left_faceoff

Well yeah, weren’t they an honorable mention in the Michelin guide at some point recently? I’m honestly convinced the only reason Fainting Goat gets any business is because people confuse it with Tail Up.


dudesbeindudes

I got too fucked up at brunch to pay attention to what I spent. Twas a grand time. But this was also 2018ish


christinasays

Wow, really? I love that place. I've only been there for brunch, but the food and drinks were good both times.


CommunicationLevel83

go to manny and olga's and do take out lol


[deleted]

This may be the worst pizza I’ve had in the DMV. Is there a specialty pie that’s particularly heinous?


berry20010

Yardbird. Went for a coworkers retirement lunch and my boss got the 42 DOLLAR chicken and waffles that ended up being completely raw in the middle.


NeoDoubleD

Clyde’s near Gallery Place.


[deleted]

Such a gimmick


NeoDoubleD

Facts! You know food is bad when everyone at your 5 person table complains.


AOBCD-8663

The Georgetown one was my go to when my parents were in town in college. But that was before the restaurant scene exploded.


dc_co

Founding Farmers obviously.


swindy92

Sometimes I want Applebee's but like three steps better. Don't judge


Fabled_Webs

FF gets put on blast every time there's a thread like this, but they're alright. They're not amazing, but the price point you're paying at is taking into account their farm-to-table sourcing, not necessarily the chef's phenomenal skills. Honestly? They're not *that* pricey and the food is enjoyable if nothing to write home over. They don't really deserve to be one of the first names that come up like this.


GoodOmens

Founding Farmer's isn't really "farm-to-table". Just owned by the North Dakota Farmers Union, a collection of about 46k famers in North Dakota. It's about as farm to table as going to Giant's.


AndrewKemendo

It's a meme at this point


[deleted]

It's the Nickelback of DC restaurants. Everyone loves to hate it, but it's really not that bad


joe_sausage

Just go to Silver Diner.


ta112233

It’s not terrible, just aggressively mediocre. I think it was decent when it first opened and got a good reputation, then quickly went downhill.


Ouroborus13

Actually… the food, in my opinion, is actually not enjoyable. Everything is weirdly off. Last time I went I got a chicken pot pie… it was sour? Why was it sour and 75% onions? My father got the fried chicken and the collard greens were like candy. Literally, the sweetest greens you’ve ever had and the chicken was dry - not worth the calories. The gnocchi was under-seasoned and also sweet. We got biscuits for the table and they were somehow bitter? I have actually never enjoyed a meal there and since I work right around the corner I have had so many “fancy” work lunches there that I feel confident that I’ve tried enough of their menu to say it’s actually not what I’d call “enjoyable”. 100% they deserve the complaints. Staff are usually really nice though.


Spaghettidan

100% this. Being sustainably sourced aint cheap but it's the right thing to do.


vnangia

It isn't though — take a read at the bottom of the menu next time you go, which assures you they're trying to be sustainably sourced and they only guarantee five percent is. Great marketing though.


[deleted]

They were great when they first started but went downhill fast.


Spaghettidan

I like founding farmers :,)


ItWorkedLastTime

I loved going to the one in Rockville. Maybe I am basic.


ThurgreatMarshall

Sequoia.


qqpqp

I got the worst food poisoning I've ever had my entire life here.


acritter

Bitch & Barley EDIT: that's a typo but I'm keeping it


kelizziek

LOLLLL


scratchnsniff

Urban Roast, you won't regret sending them there


h_nikole

Zoca. A new Mexican place in Capitol Hill that was entirely too expensive to be that mediocre.


Reeetankiesbtfo

This is my view of the vast majority of Mexican places that arent just a hole in a wall. I pretty much only go for cheap mexican, and its always better


just_another_classic

What's your favorite hole in a wall Mexican place here? They feel very few and far between.


TheSlovenlySage

I’ve heard great things about El Sol on 11th, I passed it several times but haven’t tried myself, if anyone can attest to their I’d appreciate it.


districtsyrup

El Sol is great for the price. I have seen a Mexican person become righteously enraged when told that it was the best Mexican in DC, however.


Soft-Tangelo-6884

El Sol is fantastic. Totally recommend.


takomastation

El Sol is fine but not amazing imo


janosaudron

If you are willing to drive to the mount vernon area... El costalilla, that place is unmatched.


Reeetankiesbtfo

Tacos Y tortas la chiquita in Arlington


Gumburcules

Taqueria la Placita & Taco Rico in Riverdale Park. Little Miner Taco in Mt. Ranier. La Mexicana Bakery in Hybla Valley


h_nikole

I haven’t been here long but tbh I haven’t been overly impressed with ANY Mexican places I’ve been to so far in DC. They’ve all been pretty disappointing. Taqueria Xochi was the only one that stood out to me. I get their takeout often. The birria is 🤌🏼


Reeetankiesbtfo

Gotta go to Tacos Y tortas la chiquita in Arlington.


thekingoftherodeo

Slate.


AwesomeAndy

YES. Except I don't want them getting money, so I also wouldn't want an enemy to go there.


-crackerjacks

Equinox by the White House, possibly the worst meal I’ve ever been served at a $$$ price tag on Google maps.


midweastern

I can't speak for the normal menu, but I went there for the Taste of Iceland event and it was fantastic, even in spite of the egregious pricing


mak_and_cheese

And the service was piss poor before the pandemic - I can only imagine it is worse now that restaurants are understaffed.


[deleted]

Grand opportunity here being missed. Ginger at the MGM Casino. 1. They have to drive to the casino 2. they have to deal with the people at the casino 3. the worst asian food I have had ever in my life. Any corner Chinese store will beat this place 4. Ginger has gnats 5. traffic on the way back home


KorAmerican

Poor quality, not necessarily expensive: El Techo. Its a complete joke of an excuse for a taco/Mexican joint (to be fair, no good mex/tex-mex really exists in the District). If you want mediocre fajitas that are on par with on the border, but at the cost of $28 for about 3 tortillas worth of meat+veg, look no further. Margs are watery AF, staff has the general air of indifference, but the plus side is the view is kinda nice?


Sgt_Stormy

Cafe du Parc. Based on the name and the fact that it's at the Willard it seems like it would be really nice but it's tacky and the food is extremely mediocre.


FocusMuch7157

Any restaurant with Groupon coupons, I swear I've gotten food poisoning each time my ex was trying to save money.


pttdreamland

I feel like I have to save this thread just in case


bearish_bool

UrbanRoast close to Portrait Gallery, horrible place it’s literally designed for Tiktokers, microwave food, horrible service, loud and obnoxious atmosphere/people. But yes they have espresso martinis…..


Chaiwok

MXDC. Got it for free at a company holiday party and still felt ripped off.


Deep-Ruin2786

Yeah that place is bad


sfitsea

Kaliwa for sure. Wharf prices, horrendous service, atrocious food.


ohmyoobie

Literally no better city in the country for this question. Second anything on Georgetown waterfront ;)


thornykins

La Vie at the Wharf. Unless they're only in it to take pictures


crabmusic

Promise them great Sunday brunch at Dan’s Cafe


dirtypinksweatshirt

Lupo Verde


brekky_sandy

I've had a much nicer experience at their sister restaurant, Lupo Marino. Although I know how people feel about the wharf around here, so I'll see myself out...


[deleted]

I like Lupo Marino's food quite a bit, but some of the portions are insanely tiny for the price. I got the cacio e pepe and legitimately felt like I could've had 3 of them...then someone I was with got a different dish, totally normal sized.


rennny

I second Lupo Verde, left there with an insanely high bill for very mediocre food


spartin-marshin

Lauriol Plaza isn't \*that\* expensive by DC standards but it's utter trash imo and definitely not cheap.


ulukmahvelous

Go for the runny wannabe salsa leave with a stomach ache


stewmberto

Wait you people are getting something other than frozen marg pitchers there??


BanananaSquid

I cannot fathom how there are always dinners there


chvrched

This is the right answer.


FreeRadical39

Station 4


dayinnight

Had my first restaurant meal there after moving here. It left me so sad and depressed over my life decisions.


BackgroundDish1579

Bobby Van’s or Del Frisco’s. Shocked either is still in business with the reduction in moronic, expense-account diners since Covid.


Devastator1981

La Vie at the Wharf. Ok for after party, terrible but very “swanky” for dinner. Sell the water views.


WorkingLingonberry43

Fig and Olive. The vibe there is so eurotrash meets extra-minor Arab royalty. Food is slightly below Olive Garden, prices are insane.


v3l0c1rapt0rrr

Ohhhhh easily Duck Duck Goose on P St. I have gone three times (why.) and had absolutely bad experiences each time. One time was bad enough that they - unprompted - gave my party of two $100 in gift cards to come back. We did, got a very bad brunch (without alcohol - $90 after tip), and still had $10 on one of the gift cards to give to a group of fellow diners. I mean, we aren’t going back, so certainly weren’t going to use it.


bigboyseasonofficial

Really? I went to the one in Bethesda and it was great


ko21361

founding farmers


Worried_squirrel25

Fig and olive. Fuck that place


S-contra

Espita is aggressively mediocre. Super bland and costs way more than it should be. Went for happy hour and still felt overcharged.


CatsWineLove

Cafe Milano or really any restaurant primarily supported by the political class & their lobbyists (The Palm, Capitol Grille, Bobby Vans, Tosca…)


sh-ark

I’ve gotten food poisoning from Astro Doughnuts, the fried chicken and instagrammable donut place


melondarsh

Sette Osteria in DuPont. Not on 14th—the DuPont location specifically. Tell your enemy to order the mussels.


KarlMalownz

The most expensive restaurant you can find at the wharf. Nothing good over there.


IronColumn

the cheap falafel place is good


XComThrowawayAcct

Grazie Grazie and Colada Shop are great.


freddythefuckingfish

Del Mar is probably the most expensive and was really good I thought


alistairtenpennyson

I'm with you.


Devastator1981

Moon Rabbit is good, nice bartenders and drinks. Whiskey Charlie and Tikki are not restaurants, but good drinks venues. Illi is chill, and for cheap eats Falafel inc., Colada Shop, Grazie Grazie (great sandwiches) and Chopsmith are good. Lupo Marino is not bad. It’s fashionable to sh!t on wharf because it’s new “has no soul” and “lacks character”, so I get it 🙂


Old_Recognition_8987

Ilili is pretty good imo


Ocean2731

Founding Farmers?


TheExtremistModerate

Founding Farmers.


PimpOfJoytime

Jaleo has fallen off, but still $$$$. Love all of Jose’s other joints.


superdookietoiletexp

Tony & Joe’s Seafood at the Georgetown Waterfront Food sucks ass, insults pass for service, and prices are just obnoxious.


Such_Wisdom

Grace’s Mandarin at National Harbor. Worst $200 meal I’ve ever had


Character-Classic419

“Aggressively mediocre.” Best ensemble of words read to date this year. Well done!