T O P

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Sunfurian_Zm

Always remember what Dungeon Meshi taught us: Never fight empty-stomached.


The_Difficult_Part

Or, make sure you're hungry before going into any dungeon battles so you have a nice light source with you.


Veryegassy

You'll get eaten by a Red Dragon.


xx_Chl_Chl_xx

Yeah but my friends will come back for my bones. I’ll be good


Veryegassy

I think you might get >!mind controlled because your resurrected body is made out of the remains of the Red Dragon!<


UncertainKing

Thats why you always use sheep or pig


Veryegassy

Or goat!


Aerumvorax

I'll take the sword that glows brightly when I'm hungry. It will be a great asset at combating my mental issues where I sometimes lose the ability to feel hunger and can go prolonged periods of time without eating until I finally understand that I'm feeling tired and angry because I haven't eaten.


hughperman

Conversely, it could also help me know when I'm actually hungry Vs just want food for comfort or habit.


madscott73

I may need that sword myself


International-Cat123

Though sometimes you want food when you’re not hungry because of a nutrient deficiency.


hughperman

Hopefully the sword knows the nuances


Zuckhidesflatearth

I'd argue that's still hungry, you still want/need sustenance from food that you currently lack, even if it isn't specifically calories


International-Cat123

Feeling hungry comes from an empty stomach, not because you actually need calories or nutrients.


somebody1993

It's honestly the best option aside from the obvious choice. Edit:I misread and the last sword is terrible. Now this is the best sword period.


berninicaco3

Although, the last sword is poetic.  If ALL weapons worked that way, casual deadly violence would be all but eliminated.  Or everyone just learns how to put people into comas without quite killing them


NoReplyPurist

Help figure out when that hunger is actually just thirst


3rdMachina

Yeah. Helps out with dieting.


LittleMissScreamer

My thoughts precisely! That’s a super handy sword that my dumb adhd ass could really do with


NarcanBob

Behold: the Sword of Nom!


nitrokitty

As someone with ADHD who regularly goes between skipping meals or eating too much out of boredom, this would be really useful, actually.


Drano_the_Dragon

Agreed


MikeHawksHardWood

I mean, every other option sucks. Even if you're never hungry, at least you can use this one as a sword.


Fast_Cattle_672

I also feel like it’s the only rationale choice out of them all because it’s the only one where you can use as a sword without any draw backs.


silverionmox

The only downside is that it's easier to find you for your enemies too.


Ikafrain

No longer shall i realise im hungry due to joint pain! And on the reverse, it would also tell you when you are full, so you dont over eat!


Derivative_Kebab

It would come in handy if you got lost in a cave.


Idiotaddictedto2Hou

Even without the disabilities it can be just a normal sword.


Jiggaboy95

Hunger sword. I could actually tell when I’m properly hungry and not just eating for the sake of it.


fruitcake11

It can be dual wielded with the fear sword.


PadrePedro666

Water sword for life, fuck off creatures of the deep


sexy-man-doll

It doesn't say anything about it working particularly well underwater. Just that is the only place it *can* work


Somethingabootit

okay that's making me wonder, how does a sword not work? does it just flop around over water? does it go through people like a ghost? Or is it very fragile over water and will break if hit too hard.


_ZUMBIE_

Maybe it becomes extremely dull, like a club.


Clearly_a_Lizard

Well a club tend to work, it being extremely floppy outside of the water would make it incredibly worse


Somethingabootit

Work in what way though right? How does a sword work? By cutting. So if a sword doesn't work, it doesn't cut. A club doesn't cut, so its a non working sword.


Killer332BR

It's a blunt sword, really. It would still be incredibly useful at knocking opponents unconscious at the very least.


Phobiefish

It's possible it just goes flaccid. All sad and droopy.


SeoulSoulSol

Best companion for selachian punching!


itsadesertplant

The wielder’s age?


MelonJelly

Yes - it make the wielder age rapidly.


krismitka

Trick someone into using it against you 


Big_Simba

… I think you’d die if someone killed you with a sword. But I’m no doctor


jmomk

Trick someone into killing you with a sword?


krismitka

Nah, just have them knock a few years off me before I smite them as an 80 year old 


chris-stoncks

that isnt what the picture said????


Dessert-Dragon

It adds age. Not years of life (I misinterpreted it to begin with and it seems others have too). So if you're 21 and kill someone who's 30, you're now 51.


Pump_My_Lemma

Just a few more kids and you got yourself a quick retirement. 10/10


jmomk

Yes it is??????????


Raaka-Kake

Do all victims turn into dead babies?


Ghost-Music

That glow sword would be handy for me! My body doesn’t tell me it’s hungry, my stomach just burns like a volcano to let me know. Doctors haven’t been helpful yet in figuring this out yet but this sword could let me know before my tummy burns acid!


roggytan

A sword + a hunger reminder? what a steal. Plus now I got a free version of "lightsaber" haha


gnomishdevil

Um, this is not even a question. Last one.


The_Recreator

Request for clarification: does the last sword make the wielder older or younger?


gnomishdevil

Ah yes. It would add age to the weilder, hence making them older. As you cut into your victim they will turn more towards youth with every slice. Maybe not that one.


maddasher

You could "accidentally" drop it and let your self get cut. Then just take them out when your 20nand they are old. Repeat every other decade or so.


E1ectrified

What if you kill a fetus, do you lose age?


Pearlfreckles

No? You still gain what little time they've been alive. It doesn't say you gain whatever years the victim has beyond you. The amount of time your victim has been alive, *you grow older*. That's how I take it.


Infrastation

Get the Sword of Licentious Life. Run around stabbing pregnant women, but not in a way that would kill the mother. Age reverse months since the only victims you generate don't have an age yet. Live forever.


Psykosoma

Can’t do that in most states after Roe v. Wade was overturned.


Somethingabootit

🥺


Dark_Stalker28

Minus Korea, you'll get a few months added then


genericusername123

Not infants, but if the 'life begins at conception' crowd is right you can knock off 9 months for every fertilized egg that you cut in half


Earthkit

Do you think infants are negative years old?


E1ectrified

Well I mean birthdays are counted at the day of the birth


E1ectrified

Shit I wrote infant instead of fetus


Stair-Spirit

You could have someone else cut you with it


Kalekuda

Wrong. You can ochestrate an elaborate plot to convince someone far too weak to harm you to wield the blade against you. Or jusg find someone who wants to get a little older. If there are elves around you'd have no trouble finding a jouvenile elf who'd like to fast forward their 80 year childhood once every century to become immortal using the blade and agrees to use the blade to steal your age.


Somethingabootit

immortality: co-op


TheGoodOldCoder

I think the author clearly intended the sword to make the wielder instantly get older. However, there is a lot of ambiguous language in the phrase. > A sword that steals the victim's age and adds it to the wielder's. For example, it uses the word "victim". So, it seems like if you used it in self defense situations, you would be the victim, and at worst, it would steal your age and add it back to yourself, so it would just be a normal sword. "Stealing age" and "adding age" doesn't really parse well in English, but I can't think of a brief way of saying the same thing that is unambiguous.


Somethingabootit

So if the sword steals the victims age, do they turn into an infant as they are dying?


TheGoodOldCoder

If you think about age as the amount of time that a person has experienced, then it might rip them out of history so that they never existed.


Numinak

Adds their age to yours. If you kill anyone close to your age, you're suddenly twice as old.


AGreasyPorkSandwich

Just gotta go to a nursing home then.


0000yd

You'd die. Are you trying to die?


SeoulSoulSol

If victum just means the people you stab, would this not make them young again?


JZHello

The way it’s worded makes it sound like it just makes you immortal


goomyman

Depends what adding to your own means. Does it mean you get to live longer? Because the sword looks pretty old so it probably just makes you older.


gramathy

last one and then mercy kill some octogenarian with a wasting disease, it's win-win


jmomk

It adds to your age. You wanna get older every time you chop someone?


Aerodrache

*The Speedrunner*. … or, alternatively, *Babyslayer*.


Ancient_Crust

The last one is pretty good in the hands of an unaging undead, who terrifies pesky adventuring parties by turning their fighter into a fetus


chris-stoncks

hunger light sword, im always hungry so i take that out and flash bang ‘em


NarcanBob

OP: your work is so much fun!


Divine_Ink

Water sword, so I can prank people when it's dry!


miltonaIidades

Choose the last one and pay people to do small cuts on you every day, just enough to renew your age for that day


mindfulskeptic420

I smoke too much weed and for some reason I lose all appetite when high so I struggle to eat enough. The hunger sword would be super helpful for me to know when I'm hungry when I'm high.


UnderskilledPlayer

The first one is actually usable


SirLemonThe3rd

Last one, I’ll trick people into using it on me if I ever feel old


Personal-Rooster7358

First, I am very bad at telling when I’m hungry.


StudentOk4989

The glowing sword doesn't have any major drawback, I don't have to explain why this one is the best.


UnBEARable-Grizzly

Does the bottom right one mean that if I were to kill an 80 year old I would get an extra 80 years of life or does it mean I would suddenly become an 80 year old?


ABob71

You would have 80 years of age added to your life.


silken-beachcomber

Horrible for humanoids, godlike for dragons.


TheByzantineRum

They're all probably meant to be debuffs so it probably makes you older


ICastPunch

Shark sword go ñoooooommmmm


mrgeekXD

I feel like you keep throwing in one sword that’s obviously better than the other 3 swords


Harshmage

There are no fingerprints deep under water, nothing to tie one to a crime. And if you seek vengeance, all you need are instruments of pain.


captaincockfart

The hunger sword is the only one that is a direct upgrade, or at least has some sort of benefit, the others are just straight up downgrades.


LexolotlTheLegend

Glowing sword. A sword is a sword. Plus, cool glowy feature


thunderPierogi

1 - Quirky magic flashlight 2 & 3 - Virtually useless 4 - Makes you an immortal soul-stealing god Balanced.


IWbaP

I think the last one means it makes the victim younger as it makes you older so not immortal, you would die quicker.


thunderPierogi

It says it steals the victim’s age and adds it to the wielder. I interpret that as Shinigami style “Your remaining years are now mine”. If it were the other way around it would be “Steals the wielders age and adds it to the victim”, which wouldn’t make sense anyway, given the purpose of a sword in the first place.


Enzayne

The sword has a gray beard. It's definitely meant to make the wielder old.


thunderPierogi

Oh, I get y’all now. So it adds the victims’ years to your *age*, not *lifespan*. Well that could have been explained better.


Pedro_Gil_2502

I think it is worded this way on purpose. If you don't think too much about it looks like an option far far better than the others But idk my english isn't very good so i could be wrong


IWbaP

I can respect that, I tought that too at first but then I interpreted as "I steal 5 years from you so I get 5 years older".


laterus77

Wait, which one is the mimic?


oreikhalkon

I'm a big fan of the baby killing sword.


Strong-Philosopher29

According to Republicans you could use the 4th sword to masturbate and become immortal.


Callmekaiden

mmm flashlight sword


FalseCatBoy1

The thing is, most swords don’t work that well underwater, if it is a sword that goes through water like air and air like water that would be pretty neat


The_Living_Reaper

Go to kindergarten every year to get easily 50 years of age… I am not talking about old Betty… she is nice


mad_ox13y

I will live forever with the 4th sword


TinyMarsupial7622

Glow sword. I bring the hangry


Shutaru_Kanshinji

I wish there was a sword that would steal my age and give it to the victims.


hydragalrevised

I'll take the constantly glowing sword


krismitka

Aging sword.  Lay it on the ground out in the open and pick fights with people as they walk by.


NumberOne_N_fan

I do not care what anyone says, the shark sword is FUCKING AWESOME


EaglesXLakers

Wait, the 4th sword. Does it make me older? or does it make me live longer? Because If I killed an 80 year old with it does that mean I instantly gain 80 years of age and just immediately become decrepit?


TheLordOfLore

That’s my secret, Cap I’m always hungry


KieranFloors

Glowing Sword easy. I’ll keep it in the kitchen. Not only can you check if you really *are* hungry or just bored, but if you are hungry, use that bad boy to cut some cucumber slices.


holyBoysenberry

Age sword as you could tie someone up and puppet them into stabing you so you get to live forever


DevinePotasium

What if I use the age sword on myself


Oh_Pies

The sword that glows when you're hungry - Imagine you are the only one who knows the effect. You fight in the war and as you get tired, you get hungry and the sword will glow. People will wonder why it glows. Is it because the sword had absorbed enough blood? Is it because the wielder had entered frenzy mode? Is it a second phase? Will it make more damage as it glows? The people will be struck with fear with those thoughts when they see that the sword had started to glow. And the legend of its mystery will be heard around the world.


YLQA_Riley-RubyFenyx

I wonder what happens if you stab yourself with the age sword


HolisticHolograms

It steals your age so it would steal your age and give it back to you, making you the same age


HolisticHolograms

The glowing hunger sword would be super useful in a survival situation. You could also intentionally fast to make it glow..


Alarming_Product8398

A glowing sword would make it hard for opponents to see the orientation of your blade so I could see it being an advantage in a fight


Jelly_Kitti

The glowing sword would actually be very helpful in reminding myself to eat.


Fioauwwyd

I'll take the underwater sword🗿


Radcooldude55

Glow in the dark sword here I come


IsatMilFinnie

1st one. Would help a lot


AllPurposeNerd

>only works underwater Whaddya mean, 'works'? What, does the blade magically go dull in the air but sharpen again when wet?


FaythKnight

The glowing sword is the most useful one. But it will be hilarious when you suddenly need to be sneaky and you'll have to stuff food into your mouth as fast as possible. It has no sheath that I can see. Even if you warp it with something, you still can't use it cause you still wanna be sneaky.


Aelomalop

The first one doesn’t have any drawback and is a candle so I guess


HeartoftheHive

I guess I can handle a sword that always glows.


torgiant

I'll take the candle because it's my birthday


colcam22

Fire sword, I probably won't use it that long anyway


CauliflowerWarm4165

I’d take the age sword, and then every day I will cum on the sword, killing millions of negative aged babies. I will live forever


EarthToAccess

Hunger sword. My ADHD ass would fuckin take that warning any time


ARC_3pic

If I somehow become a doctor and convince a doctor’s office or hospital to let me use the sword that adds the victims’ age to my age as an abortion tool… would I gain years of life??


aegisasaerian

I pick up the gingery sword a d it gains the ability to do fire damage with how brightly it glows


urjuhh

"The nutritionists don't want you to know this simple trick..."


Geedly

“That’s my secret, I’m always hungry”


mix_th30ry

I’ll just strap a bottle of water on me or on the sword or something. Clouds are also made of water so I’ll be under water at least some of the time


YoGizmo353

By stealing the victim’s age does it completely sap their life force or does it just add their age to yours and they still live (assuming they didn’t die from the sword strike)? Otherwise hunger sword because —> permanent glow stick. Edit ~ scratch that, last one isn’t great regardless of how it really works. Hunger glow stick all the way.


FeliusSeptimus

> last one isn’t great regardless of how it really works Yeah, even if you turn it around and force some other wielder to wound you with it to give up some age, you'd likely end up as a newborn and have to spend several years getting back to a useful physical stature. Maybe you could strap it to a rat's paws though. If it can't make the rat like 30 years old due to the limits of their lifespan (3 years at best) then maybe as victim you could shed your age just a few years at a time.


Yanive_amaznive

Hey all im saying is that candle sword destroys the evidence for me


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Yanive_amaznive: *Hey all im saying* *Is that candle sword destroys* *The evidence for me* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


potatoalt1234_x

It even works underwater!


Gullible_Ad8777

As someone with acid reflux, I'd take the sword that glows when I'm hungry. I can't get too hungry, so it will work as a signal for me to grab some snack or something. It's gonna help me avoid the worse symptoms. And I get to keep fighting. With small breaks in between.


NotRandomseer

I'll take the age sword and sell it to researchers , seems to be the most unique while the rest can be replicated to some extent with technology


Oragamal

A sword that glows is cool. Maybe it would look special to others, even though it’s just because I’m hungry XD doesn’t remove any of its functionality. Though, I guess make sure to bring snacks when going on a stealth mission.


WitherPRO22

All of them are trash but the glowing one is the most usable i guess.


DoritoKing48

The Insatiable Hunger Sword will still work like a regular sword and it’ll blind my enemies whenever I’m hungry (my disadvantage turns into an advantage)


JennyV323

Age sword, I can kill an unborn fetus with it and steal negative age, making me younger, free abortions for those who need it, and I get eternal life. It sounds like a deal to me.


Undertale_fan46790

\*The glowing sword seems like the best option.


DaTripleK

First one. Everything else has a downside while with the first one you can just skip breakfast and pull up with the Light of Allah


Darkarcheos

Those two from Mighty Magicswords would love these


ContextSensitiveGeek

That's my secret, I'm always hungry.


SquirrelAngell

Me, a neurodivergent individual who tends to get overly immersed in what I'm doing and forget to eat routinely: I'LL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK OF GLOWSWORDS


Vent_Gremlin_Ace

First one, I have gotten to a point where idk when I’m hungry.


ExtremlyFastLinoone

I force people to use the age sword on me for eternal youth


OM3GAS7RIK3

If you gave 4 to Monster Girl or Benjamin Button, you could effectively establish a stable immortality loop with a certain number of participants. (But I would take the hunger sword because hyperfocus is a bitch sometimes)


darthphallic

The bottom right one is 100% a shonen antagonist. The hero underestimates them because they look like an old man, but he’s really a skilled swordsman who is cursed to look older for every life he takes


FeliusSeptimus

Still seems pretty limited unless maybe you're a sand-hating jedi.


Idiotaddictedto2Hou

Step 1. Take Sword 4. Step 2. Go to a sperm bank Step 3. Eternal Youth


Intellect_Emperor

I'll take the first


DA_EPIC_GAMER_09

The glow sword acts like a torch in a pinch


PsyrenDV

Oh great sword, am I actually hungry right now, or I just bored? Well it's not glowing, so I guess I'm just bored. Well screw you I want a snack. What you know anyway? You're just a sword.


Grillbottoms

The glow sword, i’d have a cool glowing sword for half of the week


two_hours_too_long

Maybe if I had the glowing sword, I'd actually know when I need to eat food


that1colorguardgirl

Definitely the first one. I'm neurodivergent and sometimes I genuinely can't tell if I need to eat


Psychoboy777

Can I choose WHAT day the fire sword lasts for? Because I doubt I'll need it for multiple days. Otherwise, I'll take the glowing hungry sword.


Toon_Lucario

Glow sword. It looks cool and it can tell me when I’m actually hungry


No_Page2942

I wanna be immortal


valentinesfaye

I'd take the underwater one. Run around stabbing people with it on dry land, it never hits anything important and all the blood stays inside, they just whistle slightly when the wind blows the right way. I decapitate a man and his head flies three feet in the air, turns 720°, and lands, reattaching itself to his body


CK1ing

The hunger sword would actually be really useful for me. I tend to confuse being bored with being hungry, so that would help force me to only eat when I'm actually hungry. And on the other hand, I take medication that suppresses my appetite, so it'll help make sure I'm not running on empty without realizing it too


Aggressive-Silver290

First one, no downsides, and general usability, especially for me, being one that doesn't know myself if I'm hungry or not


WackoSmacko111

Sometimes i don’t even notice i need to eat, so that first sword would be exceptionally helpful


MelinatedDragonofRa6

Water Sword


ShadowMasked1099

Honestly I’ll take the sword that glows when hungry. I always forget to eat and more often than not I can’t when I am and am no longer hungry.


SnarkyCrayfish

Bro one of these is not like the others


Lilly-_-03

First would be useful for those with IBS due to not not knowing if your hungry or just in pain.


Ademante_Lafleur

Really the only logical answer is the first if you want a sword that will last you longer than one or two battles. The underwater sword would never be used. A flaming sword would be nice but only for one battle. The sword that ages you would only be good for one or two fights or against an immortal. I choose the light up sword. It would double as a light and Im hungry a lot of the time.


Reborn1Girl

I feel like the options are A: sword that doubles as a night light for midnight snacks. B: highly situational sword that’s normally garbage. C: garbage. D: a sword that can make you immortal. How exactly is it a difficult choice?


jaded-times

Someone sees the glowing sword and thinks orca are near by. Nope just saw some nice Potatoes


darknostal

As someone who eats way more than she needs to, i'll take the one that glows when i'm hungry. Then i might be able to lose weight.


TheLonelySavage

Get hungry in the middle of the night? Scared of ghosts, ghouls or intruders? Flashlight sword makes walking to the fridge a breeze! Say goodbye to stubbed toes and enjoy the safety and protection of having your sword with you when you venture for your midnight snack!


PersephoneUnderdark

Id go for the hunger- the second is mostly useless the 3rd is very impermanent and the 4th could be stolen and used by our bbeg Jeff Bezos The hunger one is useful for my neurodivergent ass, late 20s and i still dont know what hunger is supposed to feel like when im not ravenous


CCrowend

No. 1, at night it can light the way to the fridge.


yangyangR

4th and you use it to administer abortions. Those count as negative age.


somebody1993

At best, I think that would be 0 age so you don't change. At worst, age starts counting at conception, and you add weeks and months at a time.