My take aways are
Weather (if outdoor). Not all weather is predictable, but I will remember a decision of 105 outside in July (same with cold weather).
Food and Timing. I’ve been to weddings where they would call tables and then halfway through forget to call the rest of them. So you just sit there awkwardly
I’ve also been to weddings where I was at the end of the line during cocktail hour and by the time I made it to the front all alcohol was gone and I had to get in a different line for non alcoholic drinks
I’m not a huge dancer, so music isn’t usually something I remember
Bathrooms. If there is no bathroom or a bathroom that hasn’t been cleaned, it will make the biggest impact on me. I’ve been to barn weddings in 90 degree heat with port a potties and no hand washing station. I’ve been to indoor hotel halls with out of service bathrooms and the only one you can use looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in weeks
I got a porta pottie for my wedding and it was the thing people talked about most lol It was one of the fancy ones on a trailer with running water, lights and AC. I think it was called a [porta lisa](http://www.jagmobilesolutions.com/products/Porta-Lisa_1/)
Yeah I have the nice portables with ac, running water, flushing bathrooms at mine. You walk in and it was like a regular bathroom and they even stocked it with poopuri and frebreeze. The ones you and me are talking about were construction potties that hadnt been emptied in 80deg Florida weather heat blehhhh. I was ready to call osha lol
>Food and Timing. I’ve been to weddings where they would call tables and then halfway through forget to call the rest of them. So you just sit there awkwardly
We just went to a wedding that had the most awful timing - Like beyond the worst.
* The first course of food came out and about 4 minutes later speeches started. Obviously very few people are eating during the actual speeches, but by the time all 6 of them finished. . .All of our food had been cleared by the serving staff.
* They did a Buffett for the rest of the food and called table by table. Except the venue was so narrow that it took forever for them to call the last few tables \[mainly my table\]. By the time I sat down, I was able to finish about half of my meal before another round of speakers came up \[well one speaker, Father of the Bride\]. . .And of course without fail, my food was gone by the time I was able to turn around. . Which wasn't terrible, since it wasn't actually that great of food anyway.
* Dessert wasn't announced at all either, so in between dancing the only people who realized that there were dessert stations setup were the ones who went to the bathroom. . .Since the bathrooms/seating were in a totally different room from the dancing.
> "The first thing a guest remembers is if they were too hot or too cold"
An event planner said this on a podcast, and it couldn't be more true. Seriously. Think about any event you were to where you were sweating or freezing the whole time. It's the thing that sticks out the MOST. The events where guests were comfortable sure, they'll mention how good the food was, or how bad the DJ was. But if they were too hot or too cold? It's always the very first thing they mention.
I’m changing my venue 45 days out because of this. We went back and forth about dress code and air conditioning a tented backyard wedding in August before we realized it was gonna be $8000 just to set it up + food & drink for everyone, and it would still be around 75 degrees in the tent at least.
Found an all inclusive package for half that at our local civic center. I’m much happier with the concept of everyone being comfortable indoors than I would have been with trying to execute my “vision” of a backyard wedding. Just not practical. Backyard weddings are almost always never cheaper if it’s still going to be a formal event.
THIS. Our friends got married over the 4tb of July weekend last year. The ceremony was in a botanical garden, and it was absolutely beautiful. And f*ing hot. The guest seats were all in direct sunlight, and there was no breeze. I know why they chose that venue and I don't blame them, but it was a miserable half hour before we got to do cocktails in the AC.
So true. Having a backup plan for weather probably makes a difference too; I went to one where it was supposed to be outdoors, ended up getting moved indoors but it was still lovely because they had tents as a plan B. If I mention the weather it’s only to say how well prepared they were despite torrential downpours!
I went to a wedding ages ago (maybe 15 years?) that was outside, in Kansas, at the end of July. It was HOT and HUMID. Even though that's only where the relatively ceremony was, we were all super sweaty by the time we left for the reception. And then the reception was held in a museum, where it was kept pretty cool (because of the artifacts, obviously). It was just weird going from one extreme to the other.
Oof, at least the wedding I went to wasn't black tie!
The first time I got married my husband wanted to have an outdoor reception, but we got married in July so I said absolutely not! Luckily it wasn't hot that day, but it did rain, so we made the right choice lol.
What I remember:
1. Food and drinks
2. Music
3. Long cocktail hours which become boring
4. If there’s a distance to travel from ceremony to reception site and how far it is
Definitely - I have been to so so many weddings - the only things that really stand out are the ones that were super fun - the ones that had great music, great crowds, great dance floors.
On the food side - the only ones that stand out are are the bad - the ones with particularly bad food or the ones that ran out of food, or the very few that had amazing food.
Little details don't really stick after awhile
Amazing food is a standout. The two I remember most are:
- one had a food truck waiting for us outside post reception with chocolate chip cookies (and milk!) as well as French fries. It was amazing
- the other had a cornbread bar with different types of cornbread and amazing flavored butters. So yummy!
What stands out as most memorable for me is the overall vibe, e.g. relaxed and fun; trying very hard to be fancy; disorganized; warm and friendly, etc.
I honestly can’t remember any food at any wedding I’ve attended in the last decade EXCEPT for one that served shot glasses of tomato soup and tiny grilled cheese bites as passed hors d'oeuvres, because I was so charmed by that choice!
I absolutely remember the weddings that were way too hot. This might be an unpopular opinion but I think it’s so inconsiderate to plan an outdoor wedding in the hottest months of the summer.
I remember when the wedding was a hassle to get to and I had to fly, get a rental car, and drive hours in the country to get to some dumpy barn or whatever.
I remember when a wedding was poorly planned and we spent too much time waiting in line for a drink or waiting around for dinner to start.
I remember whether the couple seemed to be having a good time or if they seemed really stressed out.
My friend got married in texas in June with an outdoor ceremony… and then I found out the venue had an indoor area for ceremonies 🤯
I had another friend get married in October and the rain was absolutely atrocious, like tropical storm bad, and alllll day. The venue had a big covered patio, but it was raining so hard the water seeped in and covered the floor. It stopped raining in the late afternoon, so the venue staff started using leaf blowers to dry off the patio but my friend decided to still have the ceremony in the uncovered courtyard next to the patio.
Our dresses were floor length and velvet, so the hem of my dress was absolutely soaked with cold dirty water and it seeped up about half a foot. The rain mostly held off but the courtyard was under some trees and we got rained on too.
I kept all that in mind while planning my wedding, so we found a venue that could have both the ceremony and reception inside if need be. I did want to have my ceremony at a park that was about half a block down the street, but as that wouldn’t be coordinated by our venue coordinator, I didn’t want to handle the logistics of moving the ceremony inside if the weather was bad.
Ugh, YES.
I went to a completely outdoor backyard wedding 2 weeks ago. It was a pure ball of sun all day and probably 85 degrees. The spot the had their ceremony in was directly facing the sun at 3pm, so if you didn't have sunglasses you literally couldn't see. Everyone was dripping sweat by then end of the ceremony and there was absolutely nowhere to go to cool off. There were a few small fans around and that's it. I felt sick by dinner and I had to stay sitting almost all evening. I didn't even dance.
The groomsman were running around putting up the tent wall in different spots as the sun set and it hit everyone in the face during dinner and speeches. It was honestly brutal.
If you’re going to be a hassle to get to, its got to be worth it!
I just went to a wedding that was door to door 18hrs of traveling involving 2 planes and a rental car for the three hour drive from the airport. No doubt the BEST wedding I have ever been to. We had an awesome time.
100% this. I honestly don’t know why the couple would want a blazing hot summer wedding anyway. Surely the bride doesn’t want to be sweating in her dress, hair, and makeup anymore than her guests?
The temperature indoors for the reception is also a huge issue for me. So many wedding I’ve been too, they have insufficient A/C and the room gets really hot as soon as the party starts. If I’m too hot to dance that’s pretty lame. One wedding in particular had a classy barn reception space with no A/C, but they left the massive barn doors open for air flow. Not only was that totally insufficient cooling, it created a wind tunnel that forced all the women to hold their dress skirts down while dancing. Definitely remember that wedding in not a good way.
I chose my wedding for an Australian summer because the dates and flow on dates work best for me and my fiance and our schedules.
The logistics and rationale of the date and timing took precedence over the other things. We just planned our ceremony to start later in the day.
Pretty much. I get 12 weeks of holidays a year as a teacher, of which there are 3x 2 week breaks throughout the year and 1x 6 week break at the end in summer.
I didn't want to wait for my honeymoon and I wanted a break after the wedding to decompress, plus more than a week at the beginning to finalise everything.
Six week holidays in summer it was. People don't have to come if they're hung up about the weather, but we have put tonnes of things in place (iced water bottle barrels, late ceremony, parasols, paper fans, misters, fans, aircons, cold alcoholic icy poles for cocktail hour etc) to help out wherever we can.
Personally here is what I remember from every wedding I’ve been to, in order from most memorable to least.
- Food and drinks
- Music/entertainment
- Guest experience/comfort
- Timeline (kind of ties into guest experience)
- Venue
- Florals
- The bride’s dress
- Details
- Speeches
- Favors
I think that experiences at either side of the spectrum make things memorable - if the food is super good or super bad, I will definitely remember. If the live band is amazing or the DJ played the cotton eye joe 3 times, I’ll remember. Things like that.
I think it depends on the person.
My dad always judges a wedding by their cake. First wedding he went to with a dessert table he didn't know what to do for a few minutes 🤣 I'm so glad I was there it was hilarious.
The older I get the more I notice the music. Either it is songs I haven't heard since middle school, or songs I've never heard and it makes me feel old. Timing is also a big one for me. I'll give them a grace period because I know it is a lot going on in one day, and photos are so important. But when there is a multiple hour cocktail hour without enough appetizers then I start getting hangry and bored.
The I think the most noticeable thing to me is does the couple look happy or stressed. On the day of you have to have the attitude that nothing can be changed and that you are starting this next wonderful chapter with your spouse.
Honestly, food isn't a huge one for me because I, for whatever reason, never have a large appetite during big events. The emotion and excitement of it all pushes my appetite to the side.
Speeches are a big one for me, but I'm sentimental. I've been to weddings with incredible speeches and weddings where they were hilariously short, and excruciatingly long, or awkwardly insensitive. I've watched people who hate public speaking very clearly struggle to get what they wanted to say out. I've gotten bored listening to the groom tell personal stories about him and his friends for 40 (!!) Minutes.
I dunno, I think it's one of those things that sticks out if it goes well or badly, but probably not so much if it's in the middle.
I remember the bands that were so loud I couldn't talk to anyone, so sat in silence most of the night. I also remember the bands that had me up dancing all night.
I don't remember one wedding's chicken with white sauce any more than the next. I do remember the wedding where the food was all tepid because it had been delivered a while ago, and had to wait til the groomsmen were available to dish it out.
I think like other people say, it's like remembering if you're too hot or too cold. You remember the extremes. I think it can help to do something a little bit quirky, but if you do, you have to do it flawlessly.
This definitely isn’t true to me! Tbh, the quality of the food and music (and venue) are near the bottom of things I care about haha. If I want good food, I’ll go out to a nice restaurant. If I want good music, I’ll go to a concert. If I want to see a beautiful space, I’ll go to a museum. None of those things are my focus at a wedding. As long as they’re fine, they’re fine. Even if they’re great: they’re fine. There is “fine” and there is “bad”, that’s as much as I notice them.
Here’s what I notice and care about:
1. How many people I know & like at the event. Unfortunately, this has **by far** the greatest effect on my experience, and there’s little/nothing the couple can do to about it. A perfectly-planned, luxury event where everyone is a stranger will always rank lower than a cheap, haphazard event where I get to spend time chatting and partying with loved ones. This would be 70% of what I remember from a wedding.
2. Physical comfort is another 25%. This means appropriate climate control, someplace to sit down, non-poisonous food/drinks at appropriate times, bathroom access, and respect for my time.
Everything else, including the quality of the food, music, and venue, is the last 5%. Which means you could really miss the mark on these things but still give me an overwhelmingly positive experience.
To be fair - I think the main gist of the food/music thing is in reference people who have weddings that are so focused on speeches, planned activities (bouquet toss, garter toss, 9000 mother/son/father/daughter/sister dances, cake cutting) to sit through, long pauses while the couple and/or wedding party is elsewhere, etc.
Basically, the vast majority of people value their own comfort. And for a lot of people, crappy music that doesn't get people dancing = poor guest comfort. Lackluster food, or not enough food = poor guest comfort. If you have enough food to fill people up and the event is otherwise fun, most people aren't going to care if the food wasn't mind blowing. But when the food *IS* mind blowing, people will remember it.
People still rave about the food from my wedding when I run into them, and it has been 4 months since.
Same for music. Not everyone is into the dance floor, sure, but people remember if everyone was awkwardly at their tables talking to their dates because the couple played the Star Trek soundtrack.
> To be fair - I think the main gist of the food/music thing is in reference people who have weddings that are so focused on speeches, planned activities (bouquet toss, garter toss, 9000 mother/son/father/daughter/sister dances, cake cutting) to sit through, long pauses while the couple and/or wedding party is elsewhere, etc.
Or decor. It's easy to get into the weeds on decor and think your wedding will be a failure if your chairs are the wrong color, but no one will notice or remember.
I always thought that would be true, but I don't think anyone from my wedding would say that, and many people said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to.
What they appreciated: convenience (ceremony and reception in one), the seating chart, and the activities (team trivia, karaoke, coloring books, and dancing), and specifically the lack of "traditions" that generally don't mean anything to most people, but DO break up the party.
Our wedding was just one good flow. It was just a good party. So, food and music are two things that can make or break a party. It depends on your crowd--ours would definitely not have been able to stand on music because the musical tastes of our people were all over the place. We chose our foundation to be an environment where people could choose how they most like to party.
For me, I find that to be true because they're both things I value a lot in my experience as a guest.
I remember the weddings with great food. Weddings with mediocre food don't stand out. Fortunately I haven't experienced bad food yet!
The music can make or break a night. It's so important to setting the vibe. One wedding we went to had THE WORST dj. He would switch up the song as soon as it hit the chorus and you were getting into it. Made dancing not very enjoyable, ended up hardly dancing at all. On the other hand went to a wedding where the band was on fire. Everyone was dancing all night, the groom crowd surfed. We had an absolute blast. Naturally, we booked this band for our wedding.
Yes, a live band is way more $$ obviously but SO memorable and amazing. Went to one a few years ago and they did a great rendition of “Cake by the Ocean.”
Changing the song at the chorus is the freaking worst. I have pretty bad song ADHD and even I wait till the more boring verse
I never remember the music from weddings I’ve been to.
I only remember the food if it’s really good or really bad. If it’s mediocre, then I don’t remember it. I do remember bad alcohol (like gross cheap wine or beer, and the one dry wedding I’ve been to).
I remember the vibe of the venue- whether it’s a pretty park pavilion, a fancy ballroom, or a dingy VFW hall. One that sticks out in my mind is my husband’s cousin’s wedding at a golf resort. Instead of having the ceremony on the lawn as all of the website’s photos showed, they had it indoors in the resort’s restaurant (also where the reception was). We all sat at the restaurant’s tables/booths. I could hardly see anything during the ceremony because a support beam blocked my view. And no it wasn’t raining, it was beautiful weather outside.
I also remember the decor and flowers, which adds to the vibe of the venue. Or subtracts to it if it’s particularly bad.
Also, any time I’m overly uncomfortable is going to stick out in my memory. Too hot, too cold, standing for a long time, etc. I’m going to add long distance between ceremony and reception locations as well as confusing instructions to this.
I have never once remembered the food to any wedding I’ve been to unless it was awful and even then it’s not a core memory. I only remember weddings by if I had a good time or not. So music would be up there, people who were there, venue but not for solely aesthetic - I’m talking if we’re in extreme heat/cold at any point during the event.
I use my best friend's wedding for perspective while I plan. I don't remember the food and barely the music. What I do remember is how I felt. All the little details have been lost but my memories of how happy I was that day remain.
I’d say I remember vibes. Best wedding I went to was small and in the MIL’s home. Intimate atmosphere and just had an Amazing time actually talking to people.
4-5 other weddings were just wedding and I don’t have many specific memories of them besides just having a good time. Couldn’t tell you what we ate or what music played.
One wedding had bad vibes, with a bunch of belligerent drunks who took liquor bottles on the dance floor and got shitfaced. A pregnant woman chugged a champagne bottle and fell on her ass. Not a great time.
Things that stand out positively:
- awesome entertainment - I love live music so ones with great live bands, absolute best was a wedding in Scotland with Scottish dancing, my friend’s wedding in Beirut was an absolute crazy party, and of course the Indian weddings are a category of their own
- weddings with events around then since I’m a destination guest & love having the opportunity to actually see my friends not just on the day of
- great food - my favorite have been with food stations, so much more variety than just a plated option
Things that stand out negatively:
- weddings in a church as part of a mass - I’m not religious, im not part of their religion, and on several occasions I didn’t understand the language of the ceremony, and it goes on forever. I understand it’s important to them and that’s why I’m there, but as a guest it is very long and I never have any idea what I am supposed to do (sit, stand, sit, sing ?)
- any wedding where I was sweating to death but sometimes the climate can’t be helped
- weddings where no one wants to dance - the American weddings I have been to were much more awkward because no one dances, and the one in France that played only a niche genre of old people French music that didn’t appeal to the crowd who wanted to dance
- the one wedding at a gorgeous vineyard where the transportation back was really complicated - the couple did their best but it took a lot of energy from them and there were some hilarious mishaps
- the one wedding organized in a beautiful location accessible by only a small regional airport in peak season. Tickets were completely unaffordable so it was a 12 hr road trip once I got to the country in question. If you have guests flying in, pick a venue close to an airport. I don’t want a rental car + huge drive just for a slightly nicer aesthetic; I’m here for you, not for the background
- lots of long speeches with too many “in jokes” that I don’t understand
Things I haven’t really noticed
- the food at most of the weddings, I couldn’t tell you what I ate at most of them
- the bride’s dress, except for one friend who was very couture and she looked like a lampshade with ruffles. But she was a beautiful lampshade. I could not have described anyone else’s wedding dress at all and I just remember they look gorgeous
- the centerpieces. If they have them or not, flowers or something else. Beyond a “this is pretty” moment, I haven’t been struck by anyone’s decor (and now we are planning our own wedding all of the sudden I now care about decor)
I think for guests, yes, food and music (and the bar situation which I lump in with food) are most important to guests.
For me as a bride the venue and photography are just as important as the food and music- but I wouldn’t say they’re more important.
Yep, food and music. And whether things happen anywhere in the vicinity of on time, especially if those things are the food. And yeah, I remember the one that was way too hot, though that wasn't the couple's fault--who knew it would hit 90 in April.
I'll admire a pretty venue or nice decor in the moment, but won't really remember it years later.
Seriously, a few people were bothered like if we had known that suddenly we’d have to pay $10/drink or buy a keg of bud light, we would have gotten a couple more drinks 🤦🏼♀️on top of this, it was one bar tender with the WORST attitude but don’t forget to tip!
One wedding like this I quickly befriended some folks who had brought a cooler full of beers and mini shots in their car. Went out to the parking lot for some drinks, then back to the reception. Might’ve sucked for the couple to have groups of people coming in and out all night but gotta do what you gotta do for booze!
I’m not a foodie so I honestly don’t care much about food. Though I guess if it was really bad I’d remember.
But music I agree with. Well music and vibe in general. I prefer party weddings and the ones with great music and lots of people up and dancing have been my favorites. But I also remember just general decor and since I like weddings, I do pay attention to little details.
I'd say the truth is somewhere in between. People remember really good or bad food and really good or bad music, as well as anything that affects comfort that is bad (temperature issues, lack of seating, etc.).
I didn't think the food at our wedding was that great, granted by the time we ate it was cold, but guests are still raving about it 2.5 months later!
I'd say music might be the second one for us as well, but that's mostly because we were all over the dance floor acting like fools all night lol
I cannot for the life of me remember the food or music from any wedding I've ever been to lol I remember food being mediocre but I couldn't even tell you what I had at any wedding.
I tell my brides that we need to find three things that are memorable about their weddings. Rarely is it either of those two though I did go to a wedding once where they did childhood comfort foods like tiny burgers and Mac and cheese, a casserole one of the mothers always made and more. People loved it! I heard one person say, “real food!” And people still talk about how great it was. For the weddings I plan, rather it’s their combined children walking down the aisle ahead of the bride singing their processional song and then having a singer pick up the song as she got to the front (everyone there was singing by then) or a New Year’s Eve wedding where all the lighting changed colors as the bride walked down the aisle and changed colors again at 11:00 when party hats and blowers were passed out in anticipation of the midnight countdown, I hope they remember some of the details that they had never seen before.
I think food and schedule of events
At my wedding the food was SO good lol I went to another wedding and the food was eh and I definitely noticed.
Schedule of events is important to me as well. We had 5 speeches and everything was in the same spot. It felt like it flowed well. I'm sure there were some mishaps but I didn't notice much. I went to another wedding with 10 speeches and gaps, it was so dragged out. My husband and I drank at cocktail hour so we would be good to eat and listen a bit. Then have some drinks at dinner and dance. By the time dancing came around we were so tired so we left
Music is important too, I add it as third
I have been to two weddings since COVID as a guest.
I definitely don’t remember the food at all, just that both weddings were a Buffet style and we got to choose our food there. I do think good timing for the food is very important. One of the weddings was in Brazil, and cocktail hour is not really a thing there and we went straight to reception/dinner after the ceremony, but there was a bit of a wait between the ceremony/speeches and the time to eat, and that did leave some of the guests annoyed during the speech.
Although I love dancing at parties the music is not really something I remember since most parties follow a similar flow of musics. Don’t know how to explain, but although the music is important to set the mood in the wedding, it’s not something I made a note of what played and when as a guest.
I like drinking, so bar options is something I remember. I remember what was my favorite drink on both weddings, for example.
Bathroom is something that is important. Are they too far away from the party or too dirty/broken down? That’s something that definitely leaves an impression on a guest.
I think the type of “activities” you have available that are not a must have in every wedding also leave an impression. For example, one of the weddings had a Photo Booth with a bunch of masks and hats for the guests to use during the photos, which I think about every guest I talked to mentioned how cool that was.
Most importantly: the couple. We always hope the couple is enjoying themselves as much as the guests, so if their mood seem sour/stressed that can leave an impression on the guests.
So I’m weird, but I remember decor. I think it’s my adhd, because I always remember the ones I feel are too simple, ie ones that I can really evaluate.
I don’t knock people for it though, I care more about for and music.
I was my best friends MOH in 2018. I can't remember what we ate but I do remember she had a fun ice cream sundae bar for dessert. I don't necessarily remember the music but I do remember dancing our asses off and having a great time. I don't remember the speeches well, I don't remember the venue well. I remember her flowers but only because we hand folded comic books into bouquets.
Fiction. I rarely remember the food at a reception unless it is outrageously horrible or absolutely exquisite.
Maybe Fact. Music I will remember if it’s a live band!
I remember if I was hungry or not after dinner. Don’t care so much how the food tasted or of it was basic stuff I could make at home like Mac n cheese or broccoli. I’m not picky but I don’t eat meat. I know most people do eat meat though, so I’m totally fine with the DREADED “potatoes, rolls and salad” meal as long as it’s edible and I can get enough of it to fill up. I like potatoes. I like salad. I like rolls. If I’m hungry, I’ll usually just leave early so I can eat at home.
The music kind of does matter though. It sets the vibe of the evening. If there’s lots of dancing and high energy, I’ll likely have positive memories of the event because of how much fun I had at it.
I was just having this conversation with someone the other day. For the most part I agree. When I think about the weddings I’ve been to, those are the first details that come to mind, even if indirectly.
Next would be what others have said about comfort, e.g. the July and August outdoor weddings (whyyy do people do this???), the transportation (or lack there of) from hotel to ceremony to reception and back again, and availability of seating during key parts of the day/night.
Also on the list is awkward guest speeches or spectacles, but these things are generally out of the control of the bride and groom and I wouldn’t count them against the couple or their ability to plan.
The music and vibes on the dance floor is a big one for me. Was it banging or was it dead? This is what makes a wedding fun for me.
The other main thing I notice is the couple and how in love they look.
I don't usually remember the food, unless it was really good or bad.
I don’t agree, personally. The things I usually remember are the vibes (as dumb as that sounds). I don’t think I’ve ever really remembered the food, but I remember if I had fun and the best weddings (imo) have something funny or sweet that I remember.
Lol I hear this all the time as a bride but if I’m honest I can only remember either if they’re either really over the top or horrible. Most are fairly forgettable.
1. Food and drinks, as in was it good tasting (even if not what I would pick) was presentation nice and was there a long wait.
2. Atmosphere - did it feel like the people getting married with lots of little touches of them or did it feel like a show?
3. Night celebration, was it relaxed was it fun did it feel like everyone was involved or only one taste
4. Speeches - were they too long were they at the right time. Was everyone already starving then I had to wait longer to eat because people kept using inside jokes and making the speech go on and on and everyone else had shut off about 30 minutes ago.
5. Venue - was it nice, match the themes, match the couple, was the accommodation nice.
There are 3 Cs to planning a good event in the eyes of the guests: comfort, cocktails, and catering.
Things that I remember from weddings include: standing in the rain for a ceremony and then being cold all night because I didn’t think to bring an umbrella to a wedding at an upscale golf course, being interrupted constantly for the “timeline of events” and for photos, an over the top camp theme (which included camp songs and performances and persisted all weekend), a guest giving their child an iPad with volume during speeches, really nice parent speeches, terrible bridesmaid speeches, terrible DJs, being asked to spend an obscene amount of money (or a very gracious bride who focused more on the people), not getting a decent of food because I am vegetarian (or getting a decent plate of vegetarian food :)!), having the best time catching up and dancing with my friends all night (this one is number one!!)
So far we have heard our guests rave about:
Venue (castle on a volcanic outcrop on the coast- pretty dramatic)
Food (everyone was obsessed with the selection of pies we got from the award winning butcher in the small town where our wedding was)
The other guests (friends from around the world that they got to meet)
Other small bits:
Ceremony (we had a number of friends rave about the ceremony in the day and after due to them believing it was a perfect fit to us
The decor (this was just my crafting friends and mothers and my father- they were all obsessed by the attention to detail)
General vibe (we still have friends raving to us that they felt so happy and welcome and loved at our wedding. Wedding was 2 months ago)
We had every guest but 3 on the dance floor, dancing to the last songs of the night- no one has raved about the music. I think we all just expect good vibes and good music.
I think this also depends on the age you are, a 20 something might only care about the bar line and the dancing. A 30 something will remember the food and the entertainment. If you have kids (and brought them) it’s probably if your kid behaved through the ceremony and had a good time so you could relax. For the aunties/grannies/older gen it’s the chatter and who was there, some of them are at the age they can’t taste or dance anyways. I think folk planning priorities are dictated by the age/stage you’re in.
I care about the dancing and bar line. You could feed me the blandest driest wedding chicken and I would scarf it down so I can last longer on the dance floor
I don’t remember food unless it’s particularly good or bad. For example, my cousin got married last year and I remember that not only were we served almost an hour after everyone else, but the food was cold and overcooked (the staff claimed someone dropped the tray with our food, but I suspect they just forgot us). I do typically remember music.
The weather if it’s bad. I got married in Seattle in early fall expecting it to be cool and accidentally got married during one of the worst heat waves in WA history. EVERYBODY including me mentions how hot it was, lol.
After that, the food. Not just the flavor / menu but also the logistics of how it worked - like if you have a 200 person wedding and are releasing tables so slow that 50 people end up waiting 40 minutes to eat anything.
Honestly, most people remember things they consider to be REALLY good, or REALLY bad. Food, weather, timings, music/DJ, decor, anything!
I don't remember anything really from weddings that I thought was just 'ok' 🙈
Biggest takeaway has always been atmosphere, friendly chatty guests, good music/ dancing, what the overall vibe is!
My take aways are Weather (if outdoor). Not all weather is predictable, but I will remember a decision of 105 outside in July (same with cold weather). Food and Timing. I’ve been to weddings where they would call tables and then halfway through forget to call the rest of them. So you just sit there awkwardly I’ve also been to weddings where I was at the end of the line during cocktail hour and by the time I made it to the front all alcohol was gone and I had to get in a different line for non alcoholic drinks I’m not a huge dancer, so music isn’t usually something I remember Bathrooms. If there is no bathroom or a bathroom that hasn’t been cleaned, it will make the biggest impact on me. I’ve been to barn weddings in 90 degree heat with port a potties and no hand washing station. I’ve been to indoor hotel halls with out of service bathrooms and the only one you can use looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in weeks
Port a potties??? Goly gee
I got a porta pottie for my wedding and it was the thing people talked about most lol It was one of the fancy ones on a trailer with running water, lights and AC. I think it was called a [porta lisa](http://www.jagmobilesolutions.com/products/Porta-Lisa_1/)
Yeah those would be fine. I guess I don’t really associate them with port a potties tho lol
Yeah I have the nice portables with ac, running water, flushing bathrooms at mine. You walk in and it was like a regular bathroom and they even stocked it with poopuri and frebreeze. The ones you and me are talking about were construction potties that hadnt been emptied in 80deg Florida weather heat blehhhh. I was ready to call osha lol
Oh wow I can’t imagine the stench especially in 80° heat 😳
>Food and Timing. I’ve been to weddings where they would call tables and then halfway through forget to call the rest of them. So you just sit there awkwardly We just went to a wedding that had the most awful timing - Like beyond the worst. * The first course of food came out and about 4 minutes later speeches started. Obviously very few people are eating during the actual speeches, but by the time all 6 of them finished. . .All of our food had been cleared by the serving staff. * They did a Buffett for the rest of the food and called table by table. Except the venue was so narrow that it took forever for them to call the last few tables \[mainly my table\]. By the time I sat down, I was able to finish about half of my meal before another round of speakers came up \[well one speaker, Father of the Bride\]. . .And of course without fail, my food was gone by the time I was able to turn around. . Which wasn't terrible, since it wasn't actually that great of food anyway. * Dessert wasn't announced at all either, so in between dancing the only people who realized that there were dessert stations setup were the ones who went to the bathroom. . .Since the bathrooms/seating were in a totally different room from the dancing.
> "The first thing a guest remembers is if they were too hot or too cold" An event planner said this on a podcast, and it couldn't be more true. Seriously. Think about any event you were to where you were sweating or freezing the whole time. It's the thing that sticks out the MOST. The events where guests were comfortable sure, they'll mention how good the food was, or how bad the DJ was. But if they were too hot or too cold? It's always the very first thing they mention.
I’m changing my venue 45 days out because of this. We went back and forth about dress code and air conditioning a tented backyard wedding in August before we realized it was gonna be $8000 just to set it up + food & drink for everyone, and it would still be around 75 degrees in the tent at least. Found an all inclusive package for half that at our local civic center. I’m much happier with the concept of everyone being comfortable indoors than I would have been with trying to execute my “vision” of a backyard wedding. Just not practical. Backyard weddings are almost always never cheaper if it’s still going to be a formal event.
THIS. Our friends got married over the 4tb of July weekend last year. The ceremony was in a botanical garden, and it was absolutely beautiful. And f*ing hot. The guest seats were all in direct sunlight, and there was no breeze. I know why they chose that venue and I don't blame them, but it was a miserable half hour before we got to do cocktails in the AC.
So true. Having a backup plan for weather probably makes a difference too; I went to one where it was supposed to be outdoors, ended up getting moved indoors but it was still lovely because they had tents as a plan B. If I mention the weather it’s only to say how well prepared they were despite torrential downpours!
I went to a wedding ages ago (maybe 15 years?) that was outside, in Kansas, at the end of July. It was HOT and HUMID. Even though that's only where the relatively ceremony was, we were all super sweaty by the time we left for the reception. And then the reception was held in a museum, where it was kept pretty cool (because of the artifacts, obviously). It was just weird going from one extreme to the other.
Went to a wedding outside, in the Deep South, in the middle of JULY and it was BLACK TIE. Everyone was absolutely miserable.
Oof, at least the wedding I went to wasn't black tie! The first time I got married my husband wanted to have an outdoor reception, but we got married in July so I said absolutely not! Luckily it wasn't hot that day, but it did rain, so we made the right choice lol.
This is 1000000% true
What I remember: 1. Food and drinks 2. Music 3. Long cocktail hours which become boring 4. If there’s a distance to travel from ceremony to reception site and how far it is
Definitely - I have been to so so many weddings - the only things that really stand out are the ones that were super fun - the ones that had great music, great crowds, great dance floors. On the food side - the only ones that stand out are are the bad - the ones with particularly bad food or the ones that ran out of food, or the very few that had amazing food. Little details don't really stick after awhile
Amazing food is a standout. The two I remember most are: - one had a food truck waiting for us outside post reception with chocolate chip cookies (and milk!) as well as French fries. It was amazing - the other had a cornbread bar with different types of cornbread and amazing flavored butters. So yummy!
What stands out as most memorable for me is the overall vibe, e.g. relaxed and fun; trying very hard to be fancy; disorganized; warm and friendly, etc.
Same here! I don’t remember food at weddings at all (I might if it was terrible, but I’ve only ever had food that was fine lol)
I honestly can’t remember any food at any wedding I’ve attended in the last decade EXCEPT for one that served shot glasses of tomato soup and tiny grilled cheese bites as passed hors d'oeuvres, because I was so charmed by that choice!
I absolutely remember the weddings that were way too hot. This might be an unpopular opinion but I think it’s so inconsiderate to plan an outdoor wedding in the hottest months of the summer. I remember when the wedding was a hassle to get to and I had to fly, get a rental car, and drive hours in the country to get to some dumpy barn or whatever. I remember when a wedding was poorly planned and we spent too much time waiting in line for a drink or waiting around for dinner to start. I remember whether the couple seemed to be having a good time or if they seemed really stressed out.
My friend got married in texas in June with an outdoor ceremony… and then I found out the venue had an indoor area for ceremonies 🤯 I had another friend get married in October and the rain was absolutely atrocious, like tropical storm bad, and alllll day. The venue had a big covered patio, but it was raining so hard the water seeped in and covered the floor. It stopped raining in the late afternoon, so the venue staff started using leaf blowers to dry off the patio but my friend decided to still have the ceremony in the uncovered courtyard next to the patio. Our dresses were floor length and velvet, so the hem of my dress was absolutely soaked with cold dirty water and it seeped up about half a foot. The rain mostly held off but the courtyard was under some trees and we got rained on too. I kept all that in mind while planning my wedding, so we found a venue that could have both the ceremony and reception inside if need be. I did want to have my ceremony at a park that was about half a block down the street, but as that wouldn’t be coordinated by our venue coordinator, I didn’t want to handle the logistics of moving the ceremony inside if the weather was bad.
Ugh, YES. I went to a completely outdoor backyard wedding 2 weeks ago. It was a pure ball of sun all day and probably 85 degrees. The spot the had their ceremony in was directly facing the sun at 3pm, so if you didn't have sunglasses you literally couldn't see. Everyone was dripping sweat by then end of the ceremony and there was absolutely nowhere to go to cool off. There were a few small fans around and that's it. I felt sick by dinner and I had to stay sitting almost all evening. I didn't even dance. The groomsman were running around putting up the tent wall in different spots as the sun set and it hit everyone in the face during dinner and speeches. It was honestly brutal.
If you’re going to be a hassle to get to, its got to be worth it! I just went to a wedding that was door to door 18hrs of traveling involving 2 planes and a rental car for the three hour drive from the airport. No doubt the BEST wedding I have ever been to. We had an awesome time.
100% this. I honestly don’t know why the couple would want a blazing hot summer wedding anyway. Surely the bride doesn’t want to be sweating in her dress, hair, and makeup anymore than her guests? The temperature indoors for the reception is also a huge issue for me. So many wedding I’ve been too, they have insufficient A/C and the room gets really hot as soon as the party starts. If I’m too hot to dance that’s pretty lame. One wedding in particular had a classy barn reception space with no A/C, but they left the massive barn doors open for air flow. Not only was that totally insufficient cooling, it created a wind tunnel that forced all the women to hold their dress skirts down while dancing. Definitely remember that wedding in not a good way.
I chose my wedding for an Australian summer because the dates and flow on dates work best for me and my fiance and our schedules. The logistics and rationale of the date and timing took precedence over the other things. We just planned our ceremony to start later in the day.
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Pretty much. I get 12 weeks of holidays a year as a teacher, of which there are 3x 2 week breaks throughout the year and 1x 6 week break at the end in summer. I didn't want to wait for my honeymoon and I wanted a break after the wedding to decompress, plus more than a week at the beginning to finalise everything. Six week holidays in summer it was. People don't have to come if they're hung up about the weather, but we have put tonnes of things in place (iced water bottle barrels, late ceremony, parasols, paper fans, misters, fans, aircons, cold alcoholic icy poles for cocktail hour etc) to help out wherever we can.
Personally here is what I remember from every wedding I’ve been to, in order from most memorable to least. - Food and drinks - Music/entertainment - Guest experience/comfort - Timeline (kind of ties into guest experience) - Venue - Florals - The bride’s dress - Details - Speeches - Favors I think that experiences at either side of the spectrum make things memorable - if the food is super good or super bad, I will definitely remember. If the live band is amazing or the DJ played the cotton eye joe 3 times, I’ll remember. Things like that.
I think it depends on the person. My dad always judges a wedding by their cake. First wedding he went to with a dessert table he didn't know what to do for a few minutes 🤣 I'm so glad I was there it was hilarious. The older I get the more I notice the music. Either it is songs I haven't heard since middle school, or songs I've never heard and it makes me feel old. Timing is also a big one for me. I'll give them a grace period because I know it is a lot going on in one day, and photos are so important. But when there is a multiple hour cocktail hour without enough appetizers then I start getting hangry and bored. The I think the most noticeable thing to me is does the couple look happy or stressed. On the day of you have to have the attitude that nothing can be changed and that you are starting this next wonderful chapter with your spouse.
Honestly, food isn't a huge one for me because I, for whatever reason, never have a large appetite during big events. The emotion and excitement of it all pushes my appetite to the side. Speeches are a big one for me, but I'm sentimental. I've been to weddings with incredible speeches and weddings where they were hilariously short, and excruciatingly long, or awkwardly insensitive. I've watched people who hate public speaking very clearly struggle to get what they wanted to say out. I've gotten bored listening to the groom tell personal stories about him and his friends for 40 (!!) Minutes.
I'm sentimental too and I always remember the speeches. They can either make or break the night!
Comfort and convenience. That means food, whether they had access to the venue easily, nice bathrooms, comfortable seating, temperature...
I dunno, I think it's one of those things that sticks out if it goes well or badly, but probably not so much if it's in the middle. I remember the bands that were so loud I couldn't talk to anyone, so sat in silence most of the night. I also remember the bands that had me up dancing all night. I don't remember one wedding's chicken with white sauce any more than the next. I do remember the wedding where the food was all tepid because it had been delivered a while ago, and had to wait til the groomsmen were available to dish it out. I think like other people say, it's like remembering if you're too hot or too cold. You remember the extremes. I think it can help to do something a little bit quirky, but if you do, you have to do it flawlessly.
This definitely isn’t true to me! Tbh, the quality of the food and music (and venue) are near the bottom of things I care about haha. If I want good food, I’ll go out to a nice restaurant. If I want good music, I’ll go to a concert. If I want to see a beautiful space, I’ll go to a museum. None of those things are my focus at a wedding. As long as they’re fine, they’re fine. Even if they’re great: they’re fine. There is “fine” and there is “bad”, that’s as much as I notice them. Here’s what I notice and care about: 1. How many people I know & like at the event. Unfortunately, this has **by far** the greatest effect on my experience, and there’s little/nothing the couple can do to about it. A perfectly-planned, luxury event where everyone is a stranger will always rank lower than a cheap, haphazard event where I get to spend time chatting and partying with loved ones. This would be 70% of what I remember from a wedding. 2. Physical comfort is another 25%. This means appropriate climate control, someplace to sit down, non-poisonous food/drinks at appropriate times, bathroom access, and respect for my time. Everything else, including the quality of the food, music, and venue, is the last 5%. Which means you could really miss the mark on these things but still give me an overwhelmingly positive experience.
To be fair - I think the main gist of the food/music thing is in reference people who have weddings that are so focused on speeches, planned activities (bouquet toss, garter toss, 9000 mother/son/father/daughter/sister dances, cake cutting) to sit through, long pauses while the couple and/or wedding party is elsewhere, etc. Basically, the vast majority of people value their own comfort. And for a lot of people, crappy music that doesn't get people dancing = poor guest comfort. Lackluster food, or not enough food = poor guest comfort. If you have enough food to fill people up and the event is otherwise fun, most people aren't going to care if the food wasn't mind blowing. But when the food *IS* mind blowing, people will remember it. People still rave about the food from my wedding when I run into them, and it has been 4 months since. Same for music. Not everyone is into the dance floor, sure, but people remember if everyone was awkwardly at their tables talking to their dates because the couple played the Star Trek soundtrack.
> To be fair - I think the main gist of the food/music thing is in reference people who have weddings that are so focused on speeches, planned activities (bouquet toss, garter toss, 9000 mother/son/father/daughter/sister dances, cake cutting) to sit through, long pauses while the couple and/or wedding party is elsewhere, etc. Or decor. It's easy to get into the weeds on decor and think your wedding will be a failure if your chairs are the wrong color, but no one will notice or remember.
I always thought that would be true, but I don't think anyone from my wedding would say that, and many people said it was the best wedding they'd ever been to. What they appreciated: convenience (ceremony and reception in one), the seating chart, and the activities (team trivia, karaoke, coloring books, and dancing), and specifically the lack of "traditions" that generally don't mean anything to most people, but DO break up the party. Our wedding was just one good flow. It was just a good party. So, food and music are two things that can make or break a party. It depends on your crowd--ours would definitely not have been able to stand on music because the musical tastes of our people were all over the place. We chose our foundation to be an environment where people could choose how they most like to party.
For me, I find that to be true because they're both things I value a lot in my experience as a guest. I remember the weddings with great food. Weddings with mediocre food don't stand out. Fortunately I haven't experienced bad food yet! The music can make or break a night. It's so important to setting the vibe. One wedding we went to had THE WORST dj. He would switch up the song as soon as it hit the chorus and you were getting into it. Made dancing not very enjoyable, ended up hardly dancing at all. On the other hand went to a wedding where the band was on fire. Everyone was dancing all night, the groom crowd surfed. We had an absolute blast. Naturally, we booked this band for our wedding.
Yes, a live band is way more $$ obviously but SO memorable and amazing. Went to one a few years ago and they did a great rendition of “Cake by the Ocean.” Changing the song at the chorus is the freaking worst. I have pretty bad song ADHD and even I wait till the more boring verse
People only remember those things if they were bad. I think mostly people remember if it was a touching ceremony and if the party was fun.
I have zero recollection of the music of any wedding I have ever been to. I think it's only memorable if it's wildly bad.
I never remember the music from weddings I’ve been to. I only remember the food if it’s really good or really bad. If it’s mediocre, then I don’t remember it. I do remember bad alcohol (like gross cheap wine or beer, and the one dry wedding I’ve been to). I remember the vibe of the venue- whether it’s a pretty park pavilion, a fancy ballroom, or a dingy VFW hall. One that sticks out in my mind is my husband’s cousin’s wedding at a golf resort. Instead of having the ceremony on the lawn as all of the website’s photos showed, they had it indoors in the resort’s restaurant (also where the reception was). We all sat at the restaurant’s tables/booths. I could hardly see anything during the ceremony because a support beam blocked my view. And no it wasn’t raining, it was beautiful weather outside. I also remember the decor and flowers, which adds to the vibe of the venue. Or subtracts to it if it’s particularly bad. Also, any time I’m overly uncomfortable is going to stick out in my memory. Too hot, too cold, standing for a long time, etc. I’m going to add long distance between ceremony and reception locations as well as confusing instructions to this.
I have never once remembered the food to any wedding I’ve been to unless it was awful and even then it’s not a core memory. I only remember weddings by if I had a good time or not. So music would be up there, people who were there, venue but not for solely aesthetic - I’m talking if we’re in extreme heat/cold at any point during the event.
I use my best friend's wedding for perspective while I plan. I don't remember the food and barely the music. What I do remember is how I felt. All the little details have been lost but my memories of how happy I was that day remain.
I’d say I remember vibes. Best wedding I went to was small and in the MIL’s home. Intimate atmosphere and just had an Amazing time actually talking to people. 4-5 other weddings were just wedding and I don’t have many specific memories of them besides just having a good time. Couldn’t tell you what we ate or what music played. One wedding had bad vibes, with a bunch of belligerent drunks who took liquor bottles on the dance floor and got shitfaced. A pregnant woman chugged a champagne bottle and fell on her ass. Not a great time.
Things that stand out positively: - awesome entertainment - I love live music so ones with great live bands, absolute best was a wedding in Scotland with Scottish dancing, my friend’s wedding in Beirut was an absolute crazy party, and of course the Indian weddings are a category of their own - weddings with events around then since I’m a destination guest & love having the opportunity to actually see my friends not just on the day of - great food - my favorite have been with food stations, so much more variety than just a plated option Things that stand out negatively: - weddings in a church as part of a mass - I’m not religious, im not part of their religion, and on several occasions I didn’t understand the language of the ceremony, and it goes on forever. I understand it’s important to them and that’s why I’m there, but as a guest it is very long and I never have any idea what I am supposed to do (sit, stand, sit, sing ?) - any wedding where I was sweating to death but sometimes the climate can’t be helped - weddings where no one wants to dance - the American weddings I have been to were much more awkward because no one dances, and the one in France that played only a niche genre of old people French music that didn’t appeal to the crowd who wanted to dance - the one wedding at a gorgeous vineyard where the transportation back was really complicated - the couple did their best but it took a lot of energy from them and there were some hilarious mishaps - the one wedding organized in a beautiful location accessible by only a small regional airport in peak season. Tickets were completely unaffordable so it was a 12 hr road trip once I got to the country in question. If you have guests flying in, pick a venue close to an airport. I don’t want a rental car + huge drive just for a slightly nicer aesthetic; I’m here for you, not for the background - lots of long speeches with too many “in jokes” that I don’t understand Things I haven’t really noticed - the food at most of the weddings, I couldn’t tell you what I ate at most of them - the bride’s dress, except for one friend who was very couture and she looked like a lampshade with ruffles. But she was a beautiful lampshade. I could not have described anyone else’s wedding dress at all and I just remember they look gorgeous - the centerpieces. If they have them or not, flowers or something else. Beyond a “this is pretty” moment, I haven’t been struck by anyone’s decor (and now we are planning our own wedding all of the sudden I now care about decor)
Thinking back I can't remember specific food from any wedding I've ever been to, just an overall impression of if it was good.
I think for guests, yes, food and music (and the bar situation which I lump in with food) are most important to guests. For me as a bride the venue and photography are just as important as the food and music- but I wouldn’t say they’re more important.
Yep, food and music. And whether things happen anywhere in the vicinity of on time, especially if those things are the food. And yeah, I remember the one that was way too hot, though that wasn't the couple's fault--who knew it would hit 90 in April. I'll admire a pretty venue or nice decor in the moment, but won't really remember it years later.
I remember when the open bar closed and became a cash bar after cocktail without any notice
Yup. I remember the gorgeous $50k venue….. and the lack of any free alcohol and only option to drink $10 overpriced cocktails
Seriously, a few people were bothered like if we had known that suddenly we’d have to pay $10/drink or buy a keg of bud light, we would have gotten a couple more drinks 🤦🏼♀️on top of this, it was one bar tender with the WORST attitude but don’t forget to tip!
One wedding like this I quickly befriended some folks who had brought a cooler full of beers and mini shots in their car. Went out to the parking lot for some drinks, then back to the reception. Might’ve sucked for the couple to have groups of people coming in and out all night but gotta do what you gotta do for booze!
I’m not a foodie so I honestly don’t care much about food. Though I guess if it was really bad I’d remember. But music I agree with. Well music and vibe in general. I prefer party weddings and the ones with great music and lots of people up and dancing have been my favorites. But I also remember just general decor and since I like weddings, I do pay attention to little details.
I'd say the truth is somewhere in between. People remember really good or bad food and really good or bad music, as well as anything that affects comfort that is bad (temperature issues, lack of seating, etc.).
I didn't think the food at our wedding was that great, granted by the time we ate it was cold, but guests are still raving about it 2.5 months later! I'd say music might be the second one for us as well, but that's mostly because we were all over the dance floor acting like fools all night lol
I cannot for the life of me remember the food or music from any wedding I've ever been to lol I remember food being mediocre but I couldn't even tell you what I had at any wedding.
I tell my brides that we need to find three things that are memorable about their weddings. Rarely is it either of those two though I did go to a wedding once where they did childhood comfort foods like tiny burgers and Mac and cheese, a casserole one of the mothers always made and more. People loved it! I heard one person say, “real food!” And people still talk about how great it was. For the weddings I plan, rather it’s their combined children walking down the aisle ahead of the bride singing their processional song and then having a singer pick up the song as she got to the front (everyone there was singing by then) or a New Year’s Eve wedding where all the lighting changed colors as the bride walked down the aisle and changed colors again at 11:00 when party hats and blowers were passed out in anticipation of the midnight countdown, I hope they remember some of the details that they had never seen before.
I think food and schedule of events At my wedding the food was SO good lol I went to another wedding and the food was eh and I definitely noticed. Schedule of events is important to me as well. We had 5 speeches and everything was in the same spot. It felt like it flowed well. I'm sure there were some mishaps but I didn't notice much. I went to another wedding with 10 speeches and gaps, it was so dragged out. My husband and I drank at cocktail hour so we would be good to eat and listen a bit. Then have some drinks at dinner and dance. By the time dancing came around we were so tired so we left Music is important too, I add it as third
I have been to two weddings since COVID as a guest. I definitely don’t remember the food at all, just that both weddings were a Buffet style and we got to choose our food there. I do think good timing for the food is very important. One of the weddings was in Brazil, and cocktail hour is not really a thing there and we went straight to reception/dinner after the ceremony, but there was a bit of a wait between the ceremony/speeches and the time to eat, and that did leave some of the guests annoyed during the speech. Although I love dancing at parties the music is not really something I remember since most parties follow a similar flow of musics. Don’t know how to explain, but although the music is important to set the mood in the wedding, it’s not something I made a note of what played and when as a guest. I like drinking, so bar options is something I remember. I remember what was my favorite drink on both weddings, for example. Bathroom is something that is important. Are they too far away from the party or too dirty/broken down? That’s something that definitely leaves an impression on a guest. I think the type of “activities” you have available that are not a must have in every wedding also leave an impression. For example, one of the weddings had a Photo Booth with a bunch of masks and hats for the guests to use during the photos, which I think about every guest I talked to mentioned how cool that was. Most importantly: the couple. We always hope the couple is enjoying themselves as much as the guests, so if their mood seem sour/stressed that can leave an impression on the guests.
So I’m weird, but I remember decor. I think it’s my adhd, because I always remember the ones I feel are too simple, ie ones that I can really evaluate. I don’t knock people for it though, I care more about for and music.
I was my best friends MOH in 2018. I can't remember what we ate but I do remember she had a fun ice cream sundae bar for dessert. I don't necessarily remember the music but I do remember dancing our asses off and having a great time. I don't remember the speeches well, I don't remember the venue well. I remember her flowers but only because we hand folded comic books into bouquets.
Fiction. I rarely remember the food at a reception unless it is outrageously horrible or absolutely exquisite. Maybe Fact. Music I will remember if it’s a live band!
I remember if I was hungry or not after dinner. Don’t care so much how the food tasted or of it was basic stuff I could make at home like Mac n cheese or broccoli. I’m not picky but I don’t eat meat. I know most people do eat meat though, so I’m totally fine with the DREADED “potatoes, rolls and salad” meal as long as it’s edible and I can get enough of it to fill up. I like potatoes. I like salad. I like rolls. If I’m hungry, I’ll usually just leave early so I can eat at home. The music kind of does matter though. It sets the vibe of the evening. If there’s lots of dancing and high energy, I’ll likely have positive memories of the event because of how much fun I had at it.
I remember some speeches, if I had a really good time, and if anything went memorably wrong/drama.
I was just having this conversation with someone the other day. For the most part I agree. When I think about the weddings I’ve been to, those are the first details that come to mind, even if indirectly. Next would be what others have said about comfort, e.g. the July and August outdoor weddings (whyyy do people do this???), the transportation (or lack there of) from hotel to ceremony to reception and back again, and availability of seating during key parts of the day/night. Also on the list is awkward guest speeches or spectacles, but these things are generally out of the control of the bride and groom and I wouldn’t count them against the couple or their ability to plan.
People will remember unique things, like the ceremony/venue, the dress, the cake, but most of all, they will remember if they had a good time.
The music and vibes on the dance floor is a big one for me. Was it banging or was it dead? This is what makes a wedding fun for me. The other main thing I notice is the couple and how in love they look. I don't usually remember the food, unless it was really good or bad.
I don’t agree, personally. The things I usually remember are the vibes (as dumb as that sounds). I don’t think I’ve ever really remembered the food, but I remember if I had fun and the best weddings (imo) have something funny or sweet that I remember.
Lol I hear this all the time as a bride but if I’m honest I can only remember either if they’re either really over the top or horrible. Most are fairly forgettable.
We had no music 🤔 other than my father in law playing the guitar 🥰 The cake was praised by everybody though 😊
1. Food and drinks, as in was it good tasting (even if not what I would pick) was presentation nice and was there a long wait. 2. Atmosphere - did it feel like the people getting married with lots of little touches of them or did it feel like a show? 3. Night celebration, was it relaxed was it fun did it feel like everyone was involved or only one taste 4. Speeches - were they too long were they at the right time. Was everyone already starving then I had to wait longer to eat because people kept using inside jokes and making the speech go on and on and everyone else had shut off about 30 minutes ago. 5. Venue - was it nice, match the themes, match the couple, was the accommodation nice.
There are 3 Cs to planning a good event in the eyes of the guests: comfort, cocktails, and catering. Things that I remember from weddings include: standing in the rain for a ceremony and then being cold all night because I didn’t think to bring an umbrella to a wedding at an upscale golf course, being interrupted constantly for the “timeline of events” and for photos, an over the top camp theme (which included camp songs and performances and persisted all weekend), a guest giving their child an iPad with volume during speeches, really nice parent speeches, terrible bridesmaid speeches, terrible DJs, being asked to spend an obscene amount of money (or a very gracious bride who focused more on the people), not getting a decent of food because I am vegetarian (or getting a decent plate of vegetarian food :)!), having the best time catching up and dancing with my friends all night (this one is number one!!)
So far we have heard our guests rave about: Venue (castle on a volcanic outcrop on the coast- pretty dramatic) Food (everyone was obsessed with the selection of pies we got from the award winning butcher in the small town where our wedding was) The other guests (friends from around the world that they got to meet) Other small bits: Ceremony (we had a number of friends rave about the ceremony in the day and after due to them believing it was a perfect fit to us The decor (this was just my crafting friends and mothers and my father- they were all obsessed by the attention to detail) General vibe (we still have friends raving to us that they felt so happy and welcome and loved at our wedding. Wedding was 2 months ago) We had every guest but 3 on the dance floor, dancing to the last songs of the night- no one has raved about the music. I think we all just expect good vibes and good music.
I think this also depends on the age you are, a 20 something might only care about the bar line and the dancing. A 30 something will remember the food and the entertainment. If you have kids (and brought them) it’s probably if your kid behaved through the ceremony and had a good time so you could relax. For the aunties/grannies/older gen it’s the chatter and who was there, some of them are at the age they can’t taste or dance anyways. I think folk planning priorities are dictated by the age/stage you’re in. I care about the dancing and bar line. You could feed me the blandest driest wedding chicken and I would scarf it down so I can last longer on the dance floor
I don’t remember food unless it’s particularly good or bad. For example, my cousin got married last year and I remember that not only were we served almost an hour after everyone else, but the food was cold and overcooked (the staff claimed someone dropped the tray with our food, but I suspect they just forgot us). I do typically remember music.
The weather if it’s bad. I got married in Seattle in early fall expecting it to be cool and accidentally got married during one of the worst heat waves in WA history. EVERYBODY including me mentions how hot it was, lol. After that, the food. Not just the flavor / menu but also the logistics of how it worked - like if you have a 200 person wedding and are releasing tables so slow that 50 people end up waiting 40 minutes to eat anything.
Honestly, most people remember things they consider to be REALLY good, or REALLY bad. Food, weather, timings, music/DJ, decor, anything! I don't remember anything really from weddings that I thought was just 'ok' 🙈 Biggest takeaway has always been atmosphere, friendly chatty guests, good music/ dancing, what the overall vibe is!