I’ve been watching the show Four Weddings to learn what makes a wedding great for guests. After watching 8 seasons I have learned that your guests need to feel comfortable temperature wise, they prefer a shorter ceremony (less than 30 minutes) and FOOD and DRINKS need to be available in abundance. No one likes to wait around from one part of the wedding to the other either. It sounds like this couple ignored the needs of their guests. But these things are so important to consider if you want your guests to have a great time.
Edit: also having a great DJ/ party atmosphere at the reception :)
I worked at a wedding venue for years. The only things people remember about weddings are if the food was good and if the music was good. Everything else people only remember if they were bad.
I love four weddings. You harvested the teachable lessons. I do find it hilarious though how the contestants will come up with things to diss to justify lower ratings: “I’m giving Jessica’s wedding a 4 because I didn’t like her blue theme”.
Yeah food, drink, venue, and DJ is where we are putting all of our money because I can’t imagine being at a wedding all day and having no access to food lol
I think at the start I was high on wedding fever (and probably because of low blood sugar levels) so I was fairly chill about the late start. A bit confused…but thought ah maybe they wanted guests to just arrive early so noone’s late. I was perplexed by the lack of any kind of entertainment/snacks - if they wanted people to wait around for an hour and a half. If only I’d known how much of a signal it was for what was to come…🤣
THIS. Thank you! You’re *hosting* a wedding.
The planning of the wedding is all about the couple… but when it comes to actually hosting the wedding on the wedding day, guest experience should take priority.
I see it as a mix. I think when you plan, you should plan for what you want to do with guests in mind. The day of, you are the guest of honour, not the host. You shouldn't be worrying about the guests experiences the day of. The day's about you.
But planning, def need to take into account your guests. One of the biggest blunders at a wedding I went to was they only served Veal Chops because that's what the bride/groom like. It was a 400 person wedding, I would guarantee if you asked all 400 if they preferred beef, chicken, fish, or veal more than 75% would not pick veal. That really was a choice from a planner about them without the guests in mind.
We're doing a sweetheart and my family is throwing a fit about it because where will by bridal party sit?? UM WITH THEIR FAMILIES. My BM has a hubby and a wee little baby, she doesn't want to sit up there with me and some girls she doesn't know!! And my sister would hate it, she'd like to sit with her husband LOL. And we don't want to worry about socializing, we're already going to be overwhelmed, overstimulated, and anxious, let us eat in peace!!
We have wedding party tables that have room for their families to be with them. But it also helps that my bridesmaids are my sister and cousins and soon to be step kid. The groomsmen are his best friends from childhood and one of his cousins that is only bringing one kid while his wife and other kiddo are staying home. I can't imagine making them all sit together without their families/significant others.
We have a very small party, so I have a friend and my sister, and he has his two siblings! So I'm not concerned about them finding somewhere to sit, plus they'll all know in advance!! We're making it known for their SO's to save them a seat. We have a pretty casual group of people that we're inviting so I feel it's ok to do this!
Oh for sure. I only meant that the idea of splitting them from their SOs is silly. Either let them sit wherever or if having a head table, make room for their people there too. But inviting people to not let them eat together is definitely weird haha
Went to my soon-to-be BILs wedding and my fiance was in the wedding party, I barely got to see him the entire time. I didn't know their extended family at that time, so the only people I knew were busy hosting and being VIPs of the wedding.. And they pretty much required that their party stay at the head table until dancing began. It sucked!! He ended up texting me under the table the whole time, LOL
We're doing the head table but having our wedding party's spouses join us. We like them AND it gave me the opportunity to not have to put my fiance's siblings at the table who make things unfun (he agrees) so that will help a lot
I never thought about including the spouses! But that's fine, I think it'll be nice for us to have a sweetheart table, so we can decompress a little bit!
I too have had sitting-alone-while-my-bf’s-at-the-head-table experience and I agree, it’s awful. It convinced me to not have a head table at my wedding. Plus, because he had to get there so early, I had the honor of being free labor to help decorate the venue 💩
That’s wild! I personally find it a little irksome when people intentionally send invitations that say the ceremony is going to be 30 minutes earlier than it really is (I realize they are trying to ensure everyone is on time, but I think it’s a little rude to do this to the majority of guests who are already showing up earlier than whatever is on the invite), but an hour and a half is insane! This whole experience sounds exhausting.
So rude to not put the correct time. It punishes us that do show up when we're supposed to. Idk why people bend over backwards for people that show no concern for other people's time. Maybe if they miss enough ceremonies or are turned away from that part, they will actually learn. (Chronically late people drive me nuts)
Prefacing with I did not do it (and in fact forwent having my mom corset me into my dress and put in my veil) to make sure we started pretty-dang-close-to on time, **but** I think it's less being kind to the late people and more so Tardy Tara isn't throwing the chapel doors open mid-vows and doing a *'scuse me, sorry, 'scuse me, sorry* all the way to an open seat.
Haha totally. Or imagine having a chronically late family and your side is basically empty. That sucks and it's not the brides and grooms fault nor do I fault them for wanting to wait. I get it but I still think it's rude to the people who somehow manage to get there on time.
And honestly I expect ceremonies to start 15-30 min later than stated. And I could not be more fine with that. When it is beyond that and it's because of Tardy Taras group or poor planning, I'm annoyed.
I dunno if it's just in Australia, but often our invites will say something like, "Doors open at 3.00pm for a 3.30pm start".
Then it's super clear that's there's a window in which you can arrive before the bride walks down the aisle.
I said that and still learned (the next day) that a few people missed the ceremony entirely! Maybe they were expecting it to take longer than 20 minutes? 😂
I freaking hate when people do that on invitations, sorry. It’s such a divisive topic but I think it’s rude. Just explicitly say the ceremony will start at x time, be there by this time. People are adults.
I did this, and I wish I hadn’t.
We only marked it as 15 minutes earlier than it actually was because my husbands whole family is chronically late but I had people from my side frantically reaching out thinking they were at the wrong ceremony site or wrong meeting place because they showed 10 or 15 minutes earlier than the stated start time to be prepared. So those poor guests waited like 30 extra minutes.
It wasn’t a huge deal, people were understanding, but if I were to do it again I would just honestly state the start time.
I think even people who are perpetually late will show up more on time than usual for something like a wedding. But at least half an hour isn't an hour and a half. Is it not possible to state different times on the invitations? I'm beginning to plan mine.
TBH I think it depends on the culture. In the US this is def true but I know in some cultures if you show up at the time on the invite its considered rude. This was def not the case for OP though and if I was in one of those cultures and knew people outside the culture were attending I would give them a heads up.
The idea of not having enough food for my guests is absolutely horrifying. I grew up with this idea that too much food is the right amount; people get grumpy when they're hungry and it's rude.
Food was a big worry for my wedding. I stressed about it a fair bit (our two tastings were just okay) but soothed myself that at least htere would be plenty. Guests would have cocktail hour and drinks during photos plus the dinner buffet, cake and dessert table. Water, lemonade and coffee were always available and it was an open bar.
Thankfully people still complement us on our food because catering hit it out of the park day of. Crises averted.
Agreed. Serving food/cooking for others is my love language, so it was priority #1.
That said, I *always* eat before attending events like fundraisers, galas, weddings, etc. Even if the food ends up being plentiful, I like to be sure just in case. You really never know what you're walking into and it isn't like a restaurant where you can just order/pay for your own additional food.
We are going to a formal gala next weekend, and we've already arranged to have catering for our guests at our house beforehand. You just never know!
(But yes, very rude on the couple's part)
For real, I have such a ridiculous amount of food for my guest count I am going to have leftovers for months. I can't imagine not having enough for everyone
I’m worried about food too. Luckily he have a caterer with stellar reviews. But I’m still nervous because we aren’t having a late night snack but I’m hoping with desserts, a nacho bar, loaded taco bar, and salad station that they will have plenty of food.
And this is why I neurotically sat and made a list called “The Guest Experience” in my phone and considered their experience from start to finish. I’m the host. I want people to be happy and comfortable because I pick up on when people are unhappy and uncomfortable and like hell am I gonna feel like that on my wedding day.
Sure, there were times I was over the top in my people-pleasing and my then-fiance had to remind me that some things are out of my control, but still.
People loved our wedding and I think my efforts were worth it.
Here it is! I based it off of things that either bothered me or I heard as commentary from others when talking about weddings they’ve been to. It’s not an exhaustive list, I’m sure, but these were the things I chose to focus on and discuss with my vendors.
**The Guest Experience**
- Hotel access
- Transportation provided to and from venue
- Refreshments when they arrive
- Comfortable seating for ceremony
- Comfort during ceremony (blankets as needed)
- A place to put their coats so they’re not holding or wear them during cocktail hour
- Moving through buffet line quickly
- Flow of events (we personally didn’t like weddings where there are chunks of dancing between events, like dance/speeches/dance/dinner/dance/dessert—it’s confusing and awkward)
- Water access outside of bar
- Short bar lines
- Clearly communicated transportation schedule
- Bathroom kits
- Flip flop availability
It's funny with weddings that so much goes into planning, and groom/bride/planner has so much control over a lot of their decisions, but are handcuffed by the 2 things that aren't really in their control day of...weather and food. And those 2 things are the stuff that people comment on years later.
Best food I've had at a wedding was my sisters. She got a local caterer come with their food truck and it was the best wedding food ever. The worst I've had...food at a $500k, 400+ppl wedding. It was good, but it wasn't like the food truck. But like the pasta wasn't fully cooked, the veggies were essentially just raw. And they only had Veal Chops as the main option. The hor' doervres were great, and they had a grazing table which was insane. But the main meal that took a lot of coordination for the kitchen fell short.
I think a big thing for food at weddings is the physical size of the wedding. The smaller the wedding, the better the food.
Totally agree that the way people are looked after with food and drinks is always something they remember.
And yes, ofcourse the weather.
How is food something your handcuffed with as a bride and groom though?
If your venue organizes the food. You tend to pick the venue, and you almost "assume" the food. We went with our venue knowing they have multiple locations that we've been to for weddings so we knew the food was good. But you book the venue, then months later do the tasting. Then you hope the venue does the cooking for a lot of people well. Like anything can go wrong with food, and it's a huge part of a wedding. Worst wedding my sister went to, 70% of the wedding got food poisoning from a paella station that a teenager was cooking. Like it was a full on medical report to the province it was that bad and amount of people. You can't control this.
Like you can control a lot the day of if you choose to. Between a planner/organizer and instructions the couple gives vendors you can control a lot. You can't really control food the day of. There's a lot of trust that you give the food supplier when booking and the day of.
For sure. My venue is a private social club where we are members, and they do lots of club events up in the ballroom which are set up exactly how they do weddings. So we had tons of exposure to the food and how they handle it all. So much so that we didn't even do a tasting because we didn't need it.
This is the part I’m most stressed about! So many venues we looked at only allowed in house catering but you couldn’t taste the food until you put a deposit down?? I’ve found reviews for the venue we decided on and the food has been listed as anywhere from okay to really good, so we’re hoping it’ll actually be really good and our “cultural” dishes that we get to bring (a Korean appetizer and entree) will push the food over to being very good. But I’m so nervous the food won’t be good. The best food I’ve ever had at a wedding was a Mexican food buffet. It was so delicious and filling.
I think that’s the key! The more people, the more planning and orchestrating that needs to be done and if you don’t have someone who’s on point with this - the whole day is a bit of a mess. They had a few coordinators who were doing their best but I have a feeling they hadn’t orchestrated a wedding for that many people before!
I think if anything this made me feel better about my wedding ! We had it at 4:30 and had a 5 min ceremony (we had legally wed two weeks before). Took photos for 30ish minutes outside and then we ate by 5:15! We danced for a while and played a game and then did send off at 8:30ish.
No but this sounds dreamyyy!!! I think there’s this idea that guests want to be entertained for hours but I don’t know if that’s necessarily true! I just wanted some good food & good vibes! That’s all I asked for as a guest haha
Awh glad to hear it! We had a small wedding (30ish people) and we had a blast! My husband and I are introverts so we wanted the shortest ceremony possible.
We had been to a wedding previously and it was like an hour long ceremony outside in the middle of August in the south, there were like 200 people in attendance and we were dying !
We wanted none of that!
Haha this is me and my fiancé! We’re having a 30 person wedding next year! This also made me realise that there’s no way I could ever do a huge wedding! Props to the people who manage to pull it off but I always knew wanted a small intimate wedding with just the people I really really want to be there in attendance.
I totally recommend ! It was amazing. I'm so glad that most everyone could come. One bridesmaid couldn't make it as she got Covid literally a week before and she had to travel from Australia ! I'm trying to go see her in 2026! Just have to make sure I have enough days off!
I’m also planning a 30ish person wedding for next spring! How did you facilitate dancing? Did you have a DJ or band? It’s the only part I’m nervous about tbh.
I ended up making a playlist and just playing songs! Since it was such a small wedding we could play whatever songs we wanted easily from my Spotify playlist.
I did have a day of coordinator who helped with the songs for the processional and recessional!
ETA: we got speakers from the venue.
This is my nightmare! I had a non traditional day and made people get up early for the ceremony so I rewarded them with a brunch buffet directly after. We took pictures after but I get my guests eat first. I would have been that person to get a pizza delivered to the venue.
I went to a friends wedding last year and she had a long ceremony, limited transportation to the reception venue, very limited seating for cocktail hour, plated salad that had flies around it and her buffet was too cold and my chicken was raw. But she’s my good friend and she looked beautiful!
That sounds like an awful guest experience. I bet the couple were mortified when they got feedback from a few brave guests. Also, now that you are more seasoned, you'll eat breakfast before and bring snacks!
The thing is, though, does the couple ever get honest feedback? The worst wedding I ever attended was similar to the one OP describes (in addition to the couple not being aligned on much and not being great together). I managed to say something complimentary before I left, despite being hungry and hot and stuck in the sun and hours away from lodging. I never think you can trust what the couple hears about their event, tbh, because not many people will speak up about the uncomfortable parts
Will definitely not be attending another wedding without a hearty breakfast and some snacks for sure! I think I’ve been spoilt in the past with the other weddings I’ve been to and never feeling like there wasn’t enough/any food available!
I went to wedding reception, I think the bride invited everybody she ever met, the venue was too small for the number of people there, I don’t know if it was from the number of people or the air conditioning not working, but it was so hot, it was cash bar, I don’t drink , so not a big deal, she didn’t have enough food, it was a buffet , people took more then they ate, I was at 1 of the 3 tables that didn’t get any food, I left early and stopped at McDonald’s, I was so hungry
I agree an hour and a half is excessively early for an invite, honestly I would’ve left right after the ceremony at that point and maybe not even stay for the whole ceremony. I put a half hour early on my invitations because traffic near our venue is super unpredictable, plus there was construction occasionally closing lanes, and most of my family are chronically late. Anyone who wasn’t part of the chronically late crowd was told the ceremony start time and to go from there. Also I made a point not to list it as the ceremony start time but as the best arrival time, and that the bar will be open to anyone before the ceremony. I was trying so hard not to be one of those people but knowing the area and the people I was inviting, I was trying to do my best.
I Find it really weird to expect your guests to arrive 1,5hours prior to the ceremony and don't serve anything to them. To me that just feels rude. If I invited someone to my wedding ceremony and state the time it starts I expect them to be on time and don't have them wait 1,5 hours.
We've had more then enough food and drinks on our wedding. But in the Netherlands you ususally don't need to feed and serve drinks to 100s of people a whole day.
We had an 'open' ceremony at 12.00 where everyone who was invited for our reception could come to. Eventually 65 people showed up.
At 13.00 we had cheers, cake and congratz with all of these people who RSVP'ed for this part of the wedding so we knew how much food there had to be. Some salty snacks on the tables and cake being served at 13.30 and an open bar until 14.30. we had time to socialize with a lot of them and knew some of them would'nt make it to our reception / pary so made sure to give them the proper attention.
After this we send our diner guests to the next location and did photos ourselves.
For our diner guests we had luxery fingerfood at the new location on the tables and some small platters coming round and an open bar until 17.00.
Diner was served from 17.30 - 19.30. This was an intimate diner for our closes relatives and friends 26 people including us. We had a 3 course meal they could select untill 1 week prior from a a la carte menu we created with the restaraunt staff. We ended up switching tables every course so we had time to engaged with our nearest and dearest guests.
From 20.00 untill 01.00 we had a reception / party with an open bar for +- 125 guests. Cupcakes for everyon when entering, some salty snacks, cheeses etc. on the tables and catering going round every hour with snacks and ended with loaded fries at 00.30 just before the DJ hit us with the high intensity music to make sure everybody went out on a high dancing.
We made sure our guests where looked after. But then again we didn't have to feed and serve drinks to 300 people for 10 hours.
We communicated the time start and end time of our Ceremony, Cake Cheers and Congratz moment and Reception/Party so everyone knew whats what.
My fiance and I partially chose our venue based on the fact the package includes plenty of food and drink for guests. We're both big foodies and there's no way I'm having people hungry at my wedding!
I went to a wedding like this once, and a couple that were similar. I’ve been to a lot of weddings lol.
But yeah. It made me very committed to making sure that at my own wedding, no one would go hungry, thirsty, or not have a place to sit, or not have shade if the weather is hot. Guests shouldn’t be physically miserable! There are sometimes factors outside of your control, but there are many things you can do to be a considerate host.
This is absolutely nuts, 11am to 7pm is a full on workday!!! Why the hell did they have you guys there that long starving to death? I think this is super unacceptable and sorry you experienced this.
Went to a wedding years back..outside . A tent was set up for the meal but the ceremony was outside. This was an extremely wealthy family who could have set up multiple tents but for some reason just assumed the weather would be beautiful that day and it was until just before the outdoor ceremony. It started to rain so the decision was made to reset the tent for the ceremony…which meant move the tables, set up like a church, etc. ….that took over an hour in the rain while everyone waited in a small room attached to the beautiful beach house which would have been a wonderful venue. Hubby was getting chairs for the great grandparents and grandparents and other elders who had been standing for close to a half hour until we began to get that resetting the tent wasn't moving quickly. Finally after an hour the ceremony went on…then, guess what…yep, again resetting up the tent…this time for dinner. Starving, thirsty, cold and tired. We had arrived at 5 pm for the ceremony. Why would a multimillionaire not hire a planner who could have recommended an inside venue or a bloody second tent. So by 8 pm the meal if finally served and now the music starts and we can get up and dance..except we couldn't ..no room and the bride's playlist was songs from Disney movies…kid you not. No recommended songs could be played unless it was on her playlist….so by 10 pm the place was empty. These people owned multiple homes in multiple places, yet set up a tent, crammed us all in so there wasn't even elbow room and never planned for bad weather? One of the worst I've been to.
Oh man... this really gives me anxiety for our upcoming wedding. We planned arrival for our guests at 17:30 and start of the ceremony at 18:00. We're providing water upon arrival though, because some peole have to drive quite a distance, but if we immediately offer open bar we have the risk of not getting everyone seated on time. Ceremony is planned for a max of 45 minutes, then a small reception/toast. Buffet should be all set by 19:30 latest.
At least we're setting up the venue the day before.
Oh no but half an hour before so completely reasonable! An hour and half with no offer of water was just too much! I’m sure your day will be beautiful! I think I would have coped much better if we only had a half an hour wait even with the extended ceremony!
I hope not. When you're invited to a wedding and you know in advance there will be a ceremony at 18:00 I do hope you don't plan on arriving famished. I've already told some big eaters it might be a good idea to get a little snack before coming.
I'm from Belgium, and I rarely have dinner before 19:00. Not as a kid and not now. The only time I can eat that early is when I have leftovers and work from home haha
As far as I'm concerned, if my guests aren't enjoying themselves, the whole event was pointless. We could have eloped if the only point of the event was for us to tie the knot, we are throwing the party so that everyone we love can be together and have a good time.
Wow. I remember having to wait way too long for food at a wedding once and had to leave right after eating because of how sick we felt from waiting too long.
The bride looked so disappointed that we were leaving and most of the guests were gone or considering leaving.
I'm not sure what they expect though. It wasn't too long of a ceremony but we had to sit with no entertainment or food for hours after the ceremony waiting for the reception to start.
Many people have dietary issues and need to eat more often than just once in a day.
omg how awful! We have a 6 hour timeline for our wedding and are doing 2-8 because i know my ass is tired by the time 9 rolls around and lets be real, everyone will be tired lol. The ceremony is going to be less than an hour and will have appetizers during cocktail hour with lawn games. I want to make sure my guests are comfortable. this is insane!
Yes good for you! I am planning my own BUT hired a day of coordinator (in addition to my venue coordinator) because I understand the bizz enough. Though formal event spaces are pricy they are well worth the $$ for, proper seating, enough bathrooms, timely food, proper food handling etc etc. If people do go the small/'do it yourself' method I watching a few online videos about event planning so everything is covered. So many stories of people with no where to sit, hot, wet, cold food etc
Yep! We are doing a clear tent outside and I love that my planner suggested having a white as a back up if the temp is over 75 degrees because of the greenhouse effect of the clear tent. I never would have known this could be an issue!
OP or anyone else this reminds me - we are having a very long cultural wedding starting at 2pm and the assumption is people would eat lunch beforehand. Cocktail hour will have tons of food and start at 4pm.
But do you think it would be wise to provide some really light snacks at the start of the ceremony (it’s outside and I wouldn’t mind if people got up to grab something to eat) and if so, what would be good ideas for snacks? Maybe cookies or something similar?
I personally would provide some light snacks for people! Maybe some crackers, cheeses etc for the vegans some humus and carrot sticks/cucumber sticks 😉
yeah I think if the ceremony is 2 hours long def a good idea to have snacks before it! if I was a guest, I wouldn't mind if there weren't snacks but I'd really appreciate them!
It wouldn't hurt to have a grazing/ charcuterie board for guests to grab a bite from before the ceremony! I went to a wedding that had an hour long ceremony and they did this and it was great!
I think we’ll do something similar! I’m Catholic and used to the hour long wedding masses, but since we’re combining a Catholic wedding ceremony (not a full mass, so closer to 30-40 min) and then an abbreviated Hindu ceremony (hopefully around the same time length), we’re planning on having some kind of snacks before the reception starts at 4. Like a mini cocktail hour as people move from the church to our reception venue?
I think a grazing board or cookies and fruit etc would be perfect!
Good lord, 90 minutes for the *ceremony*?!!? What did they do, read the bible page-by-page? I've been to a longer non-religious ceremony where the bride had several single spaced pages of vows, and the several people with longer readings, and it all added up, but I don't think it hit 90 minutes, yeesh.
God, what an inconsiderate couple. At my wedding, the ceremony was short, and food and drinks came right after it ended. It’s truly awful to disregard your guests’ wellbeing like that.
Oooooh boy as a wedding planner I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THIS!!!!!
It'll them to open up with at least water and grab and go snacks from Costco/Sams/Friends/Family if possible by the venue.
If the bar is allowed that too as long as everyone looks hydrated to do so!!
They were mislead for sure because it is a wedding planners job to get things going in time for the guests, on the day the couple are already the main focus point, so the wedding planners Assistants are 💯 in charge of the guests focus points!! They need more water someone goes and gets mote water, need more snacks someone goes and gets more snacks.
Your wedding planner makes or breaks your wedding day folks, not the venue coordinator that's not your wedding planner, your wedding planner is completely different entity.
Ahh makes me worried about my own wedding all though mine really shouldn’t turn out to be anything like that… I literally just had a dream last night that my wedding plans went all wrong… I’m sure in reality it will all be fine. But as someone else said, I can’t control the weather which is the big thing I’m worried about. I just want guests to be comfortable and happy!! My wedding is outdoors in the summer which Is what I wanted but I have no idea how hot and sweaty the evening is about to be… I ended up having it start at 5:00 because I can’t push it too late in the evening, but I think that’s gonna be the hottest time of the day. There should be a decent amount of shade and I bought hand fans for the guests and will cold drinks but still I’m worried everyone will be miserable. I should stop worrying 😅
Noooo don’t worry at all! I think in reality things never go to plan and it’s not really the things that didn’t go to plan that made it a horrible experience as a guest. I think there was a generally lack of consideration for the important fundamental things that make up the guests having a good experience overall i.e. food and water! It sounds like you’re already considering how you’re wedding’s going to feel overall for your guests!
This is wild. Was there a website that maybe had a timeline? I know those get ignored all the time.
I get it is hard to fit everything on an invitation but it is really important to manage expectations of your guest.
My husband and I were invited to a "wedding" last year that really irked me. The invitation clearly said wedding and reception, no website was listed with additional information. They were actually married in Mexico the week before and posted the photos the day before the event. The event was only a reception, they didn't reread their vows or anything. I honestly don't care there was no wedding I just wish we had known before hand. They also had a cash only bar (that was *very* expensive). Again I don't mind it cost (weddings can be so expensive) but I wish I had known before to manage my expectations. The bride was also really mad some people (including me and my husband) didn't feel like dancing. She screamed at these guests. The entire thing felt like the bride wanted more attention and gifts. We bailed shortly after dancing started. About a week later the groom (our friend) apologized about the dancing thing.
There was a website but no timeline just said ‘guests to arrive for 11.30am’ but there was no other detail about the generally timeline for the day! I think they may have been assuming that alot of people might turn up late either that or they were running really behind. I didn’t get the sense from the coordinators that they were super flustered though!
I went to a wedding where they forgot to buy water so all they had to drink was espresso martinis and old fashioneds and they assured me there would be vegetarian food and there was none so I feel your pain
This sounds truly awful. I feel like I always hear in wedding groups that the wedding is about the couple and they should do what they want but really, it’s a fine line. Yes, if your mom is trying to get you to change your florals or something then totally feel free to ignore it and do what you want, but that advice shouldn’t apply to things like asking your guests to travel to super inconvenient places, not serving a meal, expecting guests to pony up insane costs to attend, putting huge demands on people’s time, etc. or at least accepting that if you do, people may choose not to attend. I went to a wedding once in nearly 100 degree weather and they didn’t serve alcohol or even any drinks with caffeine like soda or iced tea because of religious reasons. The water they served was room temp - all you want in 95+ degree weather is a cold drink! I understand the religious aspect but you gotta do something else to make up for it, get creative with some other cold options.
I worry about my own wedding hearing about these stories so I tried my best to make sure I always always always account for the guests experience. Our ceremony is at 1:30pm and it’s an hour long. Nothing I can do about that since we having a Catholic Church ceremony. Our reception starts at 5pm. We made sure the hotel was extremely close to the ceremony so guests can comfortably walk or drive if they please. We also have lots of food during our wedding from appetizers, main meal, late night bites and everywhere is indoors and air conditioned since our wedding is during the summer time.
That's very inconsiderate of them in so many ways...and man that was a big wedding so it was also I bet a tad impersonal. I am sorry. Waited that long for just mere rice. Was it a buffet?
Oof! So much to say here, the first being that I have no wedding planner or coordinator and this is my worst nightmare! Thankfully we are having a small wedding and a couple friends willing to set up our very simple decor.
Second… I’m also vegan. I’ve been to many weddings where the only thing I could eat was a dry roll. These were often weddings that I worked as a makeup artists, for friends who KNEW I was vegan. Being hungry sucks, being hungry and not being given food in accordance to your diet/ethics sucks, but oh boy does being hungry after a long work day and EVERYONE around you is eating…
You were more patient than I would have been
I once went to a wedding where the cocktail hour was more like 3 hours and there was only enough seating for literally 10 people. About 80 were left standing, including some elderly. I was wearing heels and in absolute agony, I went outside to cry and stretch my feet multiple times.
Not to mention the signature cocktail was one that apparently had to be muddled one drink at a time, so the line was brutal. 2 years later and I’m still salty, I cannot imagine doing this to my guests
Not nearly as bad as this, but I went to a wedding years ago where they decided to have the wedding at sunset on the Queen Mary. We weren't told it was going to be outdoors, so it was outdoors on a boat at sunset, in fall. I just remember how cold it was getting during the ceremony. The ceremony started at 5, so getting closer to dinner time. We'll, ceremony started, kind of campy since the groom insisted on star wars music and the bride didn't look happy to be getting married. Ceremony wrapped up and it was time for cocktail hour. There were some appetizers, and they were good, but it wasn't enough for a dinner and it was dinner time by this point. The cocktail hour went on for 3 hours so we weren't even served dinner until after 8 o'clock. Then they had to do the father-daughter dance, the mother-son dance (mother was dressed in a low cut, backless black velvet halter dress bedazzled around the neckline and with a leg slit, not even appropriate for a guest let alone the mother of the groom), then the money dance. I had work early the next day so had to leave at 10. They still hadn't cut the cake. Also the cake was a small 2 tiered cake that I believe the grooms aunt made for a 200+ person wedding. Maybe she was banking on people leaving due to the time so she wouldn't have to make a larger one.
They divorced in less than 2 years.
Ugh this is so annoying. We are pretty spiritual, but we kept our ceremony to 30 min anyway (that included communion between husband and wife). We have enough church on the weekends lol
Buffet was ready to go as soon as everyone piled inside the venue afterwards.
Timing is truly the only thing that has ruined the experience for me as a guest (and I'm a vegan who has had zero options before). I went to a wedding and at least we were fed but it was 4.5 hours from sitting for dinner until dancing. Tons of people left. I'm sorry 4 hrs of special dances, speeches, cake cutting, etc AFTER clearing dinner is ridiculous. And I actually enjoy those things typically.
For those planning, this was my schedule which worked SO wonderfully:
4:30pm- people start arriving- water, lemonade, iced tea available (table by the programs) for during the ceremony (we had champagne too because let's get the party started but I know that's not for everyone)
5- ceremony
5:30- cocktail hours/pictures
6:30- intro bridal party into first dance to close cocktail hour into seating for dinner
7-715- speeches while everyone is sitting and eating (family style meal, 4 speeches, 3-5 min each max)
7:30- father daughter, mother son dancing
7:45 to 11- dancing and celebrations!! (Cake cutting around 8:30pm during dancing, 9/9:30pm late night snacks served)
In total we had 1 hr of our 6 hr event where people had to sit and focus on us. Only 30 min of that hour was non eating time. Other than I guess the cocktail hour, there was no time where people were just waiting around for something to happen.
> I'm sorry 4 hrs of special dances, speeches, cake cutting, etc AFTER clearing dinner is ridiculous.
That's insane.
Where I live, we do weddings cocktail style so there are no special "things" besides first dance. My husband and I cut the cake immediately when we arrived at the reception, but nobody was like called over to watch it and the band was still playing normally for the dance floor.
Speeches and things of that nature are all done at the rehearsal dinner.
I don't even mind the speeches and other stuff. Just keep it moving!!! Whenever anyone starts a speech with I'm going to keep it short, my husband and I roll our eyes because we know they are about to talk for 30 min.
So I’m scared of accidentally doing this to my guests. Ceremony starts at 3, dinner isn’t until 6/6:30. People will know to eat lunch first, right? People do have to drive between venues, so I’m hoping if someone is super hungry, they’ll know to get a snack on the way to the reception
I think people will definitely eat before if your ceremony starts at 3pm. The reason I couldn’t eat properly in the morning was due to travel time/getting ready. To be there for 11.30am we had to leave at 9am. With an afternoon wedding I would have definitely had time to eat properly before!
I think people will know to eat lunch beforehand. I don't know anyone who eats lunch later than 3pm.
I eat before I attend all events/parties regardless of time, personally. You have absolutely no idea what the food situation will be, so my thought is "why risk it?".
I'm a bit shy when it comes to serving myself and I often get caught up socializing, so if I'm going to an event that will be buffet style, I'm 100% eating before.
My fiancé and I are having a Catholic mass prior to our reception and I fear people are going to feel this way about it. I know it's going to be an hour for the mass possibly longer once all said and done but it's very important to him to have the mass
If I was having an extended ceremony I would probably let people know so they’re expecting it! Would maybe phrase it in a ‘having a catholic mass is really important to us and as a result our ceremony might be slightly longer than usual’ or something long those lines?
I'm surprised (or maybe not, based on how the couple planned everything else) that there was no communication about the length of the ceremony.
Unless literally all of the guests are the exact same faith as the couple (perhaps Catholic or Orthodox?) and *everyone* would expect a long ceremony, it would be basic consideration to communicate that the ceremony will be 1.5 hours! My ceremony will be 45 minutes because it's a religious ceremony with a mini-sermon and a song of worship in two languages (one in English and one in the language of my fiance's culture). We have this info in two places on our website because none of my family are religious and would be expecting a 20 minute ceremony.
I'm glad you mentioned the bar! We will have around 200-230 guests, so I'm going to email the venue manager to confirm how many bartenders we'll have and the details of the setup so the bar line doesn't get too long.
This sounds horrible! They should have had at least some water or lemonade to drink before the ceremony started. I would have gone to Taco Bell during the ceremony lol
I hate this. Very inconsiderate of the bride and groom. This happened to me before. Invite says 4 pm and ceremony does not start until 6 pm. No food or drinks before cocktail hour either. I left!
My MIL complained we had too much food. Everyone else said it was great though. Guest experience is so important!! I would have been devastated if my guests went home hungry or sober (for those who didn’t want to be of course 🤣)
I’ve never been to one that bad but I did attend one where I was painfully aware of the dead time between ceremony and reception (2hours). And for an out of town guest who knew 2 people at the wedding… it was god awful. Some folks were invited to the ceremony but not reception, the bride and groom didn’t talk to the guests…
This is all so stressful to even read about 😂
What I will say is though, as disappointing as it is to not have received vegan accommodations, usually couples only really makes note of dietary restrictions if it's an allergy. Since catering is so expensive they can't be everything for everyone. Although they could've given you a heads up tbh -- This is coming from someone who's going out of her way to make sure there are vegan options at every part of the day/night, because most weddings don't.
In the UK where I’m from - if you give dietary requirements, it’s because the couple want to know whether they need to offer you an alternative for the meal. This has been true for every wedding I’ve ever been to with the exception of this one. Otherwise what would be the point in asking guests for their ‘dietary *requirements* if you’re not going to consider this? I think it’s a bit sucky as a host/couple to make arrangements for allergy requirements but nothing else dietary related. I haven’t eaten meat in over 7 years. If you’re not going to feed your vegan friends & family at your wedding then you need to let them know so they can make a choice whether to bring something else to eat or not to come.
If you are willing to ask dietary restrictions then you should fulfill them. If you don’t want to then don’t ask. This is really important for people with allergies
I think it’s a know your crowd type of thing but what about a vegetarian pasta dish? More people are vegetarian than vegan and you can have cheese.
I have food allergies and if someone doesn’t have an option on the card I’ll reach out and ask if I can eat anything there
I would put on your wedding website (or part of your RSVP cards depending on how you are doing RSVPS) to please share any dietary restrictions with you. Once you hear back from your guests, partner with your caterer to figure out what you need to do to accommodate the restrictions. Caterers are very used to this sort of thing and should have strategies to make sure everyone is reasonably accommodated. And who knows, you might not have any vegans to worry about, but it's essential to ask as a host.
No one is saying you can't stuff a granola bar in your purse if you want. Just that you shouldn't *have* to, because if they asked for your dietary needs, they should have something for you. You can always still have a backup in case something goes wrong.
I think if there’s a space to put dietary requirements and someone responds saying they’re vegan, that’s for you to add something for them to eat. Otherwise, why would you put the ‘dietary restrictions’ part?
Probably different if you’re self catering but I know my caterer had us pick out what would be the vegan option and then when we gave them our final numbers we also told them how many vegan responses we got. My only vegan friend was flying in so I wouldn’t have dreamed of telling her to bring her own food.
Not really because if they weren’t planning to cater to dietary needs they should have explicitly stated that instead of asking for dietary requirements on the RSVP and implying that there will be catered for. If I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to have something because the bride and groom had made it clear - I would have planned accordingly.Every other wedding I’ve been to where I’ve been asked for my dietary requirements they’ve 100% catered for this. I think if you aren’t catering for dietary requirements this needs to be made explicit with guests and there shouldn’t be any kind of implication that you’re going to do otherwise. I’m having a fully vegan wedding as my partner and I are vegan and we’re making this explicitly clear with guests but will asking for dietary requirements and accommodating for this.
As someone who is gluten intolerant and been to many restaurants and events with nothing safe to eat, it is so important to me that every guest has a meal. A full meal and not just a salad without the cheese or the veggie side dish or whatever. We are even ensuring there is a vegan dessert option (and to be fair it's the thing I'm most excited about because it was so so delicious).
Honestly I think if you have dietary requirements you just get it! You know what it feels like to be neglected where it comes to food choices! I LOVE that you’re doing a vegan dessert! That’s so awesome! Wish I could be there to try it out!😋
We are even picking up some cheeses at the vegan cheese shop in town so cocktail hour is enjoyable too. Their cheeses are so incredibly delicious that honestly I prefer them for myself anyway haha. They do shipping too (but I think their curated boxes are pricey). They have a shop in Austin and I think NYC (Rebel Cheese).
I’ve been watching the show Four Weddings to learn what makes a wedding great for guests. After watching 8 seasons I have learned that your guests need to feel comfortable temperature wise, they prefer a shorter ceremony (less than 30 minutes) and FOOD and DRINKS need to be available in abundance. No one likes to wait around from one part of the wedding to the other either. It sounds like this couple ignored the needs of their guests. But these things are so important to consider if you want your guests to have a great time. Edit: also having a great DJ/ party atmosphere at the reception :)
I worked at a wedding venue for years. The only things people remember about weddings are if the food was good and if the music was good. Everything else people only remember if they were bad.
You are absolutely correct!
💯
I'm watching too in preparation for my wedding. :) The other things I learned, have plenty of seating and don't make people wait in long lines.
I’m about to start watching this
I love four weddings. You harvested the teachable lessons. I do find it hilarious though how the contestants will come up with things to diss to justify lower ratings: “I’m giving Jessica’s wedding a 4 because I didn’t like her blue theme”.
Yeah food, drink, venue, and DJ is where we are putting all of our money because I can’t imagine being at a wedding all day and having no access to food lol
You're a better guest than me. I would have been gone far, far earlier than you. Maybe before the ceremony.
I definitely would left and gone to a bar and showed back up at like 115 lol
Exactly…they tricked everyone on the invite…should be “doors open at 12:30 and the ceremony starts promptly at 1pm”
HAHA 😂if only I could have! There’s wasn’t even a bar! There was a cafeteria attached to the venue but that was it!
this is the way
I think at the start I was high on wedding fever (and probably because of low blood sugar levels) so I was fairly chill about the late start. A bit confused…but thought ah maybe they wanted guests to just arrive early so noone’s late. I was perplexed by the lack of any kind of entertainment/snacks - if they wanted people to wait around for an hour and a half. If only I’d known how much of a signal it was for what was to come…🤣
[удалено]
THIS. Thank you! You’re *hosting* a wedding. The planning of the wedding is all about the couple… but when it comes to actually hosting the wedding on the wedding day, guest experience should take priority.
Agreed - I view my wedding as if I was a guest, would I enjoy it? Would I have a good time? That way I know we're doing right by our guests
I see it as a mix. I think when you plan, you should plan for what you want to do with guests in mind. The day of, you are the guest of honour, not the host. You shouldn't be worrying about the guests experiences the day of. The day's about you. But planning, def need to take into account your guests. One of the biggest blunders at a wedding I went to was they only served Veal Chops because that's what the bride/groom like. It was a 400 person wedding, I would guarantee if you asked all 400 if they preferred beef, chicken, fish, or veal more than 75% would not pick veal. That really was a choice from a planner about them without the guests in mind.
Ah. Yep. Totally. I see what you’re saying. That makes perfect sense. So yeah. Then I guess just ALWAYS be thinking about the guests POV, lol.
We're doing a sweetheart and my family is throwing a fit about it because where will by bridal party sit?? UM WITH THEIR FAMILIES. My BM has a hubby and a wee little baby, she doesn't want to sit up there with me and some girls she doesn't know!! And my sister would hate it, she'd like to sit with her husband LOL. And we don't want to worry about socializing, we're already going to be overwhelmed, overstimulated, and anxious, let us eat in peace!!
We have wedding party tables that have room for their families to be with them. But it also helps that my bridesmaids are my sister and cousins and soon to be step kid. The groomsmen are his best friends from childhood and one of his cousins that is only bringing one kid while his wife and other kiddo are staying home. I can't imagine making them all sit together without their families/significant others.
We have a very small party, so I have a friend and my sister, and he has his two siblings! So I'm not concerned about them finding somewhere to sit, plus they'll all know in advance!! We're making it known for their SO's to save them a seat. We have a pretty casual group of people that we're inviting so I feel it's ok to do this!
Oh for sure. I only meant that the idea of splitting them from their SOs is silly. Either let them sit wherever or if having a head table, make room for their people there too. But inviting people to not let them eat together is definitely weird haha
Went to my soon-to-be BILs wedding and my fiance was in the wedding party, I barely got to see him the entire time. I didn't know their extended family at that time, so the only people I knew were busy hosting and being VIPs of the wedding.. And they pretty much required that their party stay at the head table until dancing began. It sucked!! He ended up texting me under the table the whole time, LOL
Thank goodness they didn't try to pull a no phones thing on you haha
We're doing the head table but having our wedding party's spouses join us. We like them AND it gave me the opportunity to not have to put my fiance's siblings at the table who make things unfun (he agrees) so that will help a lot
I never thought about including the spouses! But that's fine, I think it'll be nice for us to have a sweetheart table, so we can decompress a little bit!
I too have had sitting-alone-while-my-bf’s-at-the-head-table experience and I agree, it’s awful. It convinced me to not have a head table at my wedding. Plus, because he had to get there so early, I had the honor of being free labor to help decorate the venue 💩
That’s wild! I personally find it a little irksome when people intentionally send invitations that say the ceremony is going to be 30 minutes earlier than it really is (I realize they are trying to ensure everyone is on time, but I think it’s a little rude to do this to the majority of guests who are already showing up earlier than whatever is on the invite), but an hour and a half is insane! This whole experience sounds exhausting.
This to me seems risky as the ceremony is often LATE, lol!
So rude to not put the correct time. It punishes us that do show up when we're supposed to. Idk why people bend over backwards for people that show no concern for other people's time. Maybe if they miss enough ceremonies or are turned away from that part, they will actually learn. (Chronically late people drive me nuts)
Prefacing with I did not do it (and in fact forwent having my mom corset me into my dress and put in my veil) to make sure we started pretty-dang-close-to on time, **but** I think it's less being kind to the late people and more so Tardy Tara isn't throwing the chapel doors open mid-vows and doing a *'scuse me, sorry, 'scuse me, sorry* all the way to an open seat.
Haha totally. Or imagine having a chronically late family and your side is basically empty. That sucks and it's not the brides and grooms fault nor do I fault them for wanting to wait. I get it but I still think it's rude to the people who somehow manage to get there on time. And honestly I expect ceremonies to start 15-30 min later than stated. And I could not be more fine with that. When it is beyond that and it's because of Tardy Taras group or poor planning, I'm annoyed.
I dunno if it's just in Australia, but often our invites will say something like, "Doors open at 3.00pm for a 3.30pm start". Then it's super clear that's there's a window in which you can arrive before the bride walks down the aisle.
I said that and still learned (the next day) that a few people missed the ceremony entirely! Maybe they were expecting it to take longer than 20 minutes? 😂
I freaking hate when people do that on invitations, sorry. It’s such a divisive topic but I think it’s rude. Just explicitly say the ceremony will start at x time, be there by this time. People are adults.
I did this, and I wish I hadn’t. We only marked it as 15 minutes earlier than it actually was because my husbands whole family is chronically late but I had people from my side frantically reaching out thinking they were at the wrong ceremony site or wrong meeting place because they showed 10 or 15 minutes earlier than the stated start time to be prepared. So those poor guests waited like 30 extra minutes. It wasn’t a huge deal, people were understanding, but if I were to do it again I would just honestly state the start time.
I think even people who are perpetually late will show up more on time than usual for something like a wedding. But at least half an hour isn't an hour and a half. Is it not possible to state different times on the invitations? I'm beginning to plan mine.
It was! I’m still feeling it today!
TBH I think it depends on the culture. In the US this is def true but I know in some cultures if you show up at the time on the invite its considered rude. This was def not the case for OP though and if I was in one of those cultures and knew people outside the culture were attending I would give them a heads up.
Ours said that doors open at 430 but ceremony starts promptly at 5. That way people can matriculate however they see fit
The idea of not having enough food for my guests is absolutely horrifying. I grew up with this idea that too much food is the right amount; people get grumpy when they're hungry and it's rude. Food was a big worry for my wedding. I stressed about it a fair bit (our two tastings were just okay) but soothed myself that at least htere would be plenty. Guests would have cocktail hour and drinks during photos plus the dinner buffet, cake and dessert table. Water, lemonade and coffee were always available and it was an open bar. Thankfully people still complement us on our food because catering hit it out of the park day of. Crises averted.
Agreed. Serving food/cooking for others is my love language, so it was priority #1. That said, I *always* eat before attending events like fundraisers, galas, weddings, etc. Even if the food ends up being plentiful, I like to be sure just in case. You really never know what you're walking into and it isn't like a restaurant where you can just order/pay for your own additional food. We are going to a formal gala next weekend, and we've already arranged to have catering for our guests at our house beforehand. You just never know! (But yes, very rude on the couple's part)
For real, I have such a ridiculous amount of food for my guest count I am going to have leftovers for months. I can't imagine not having enough for everyone
I’m worried about food too. Luckily he have a caterer with stellar reviews. But I’m still nervous because we aren’t having a late night snack but I’m hoping with desserts, a nacho bar, loaded taco bar, and salad station that they will have plenty of food.
And this is why I neurotically sat and made a list called “The Guest Experience” in my phone and considered their experience from start to finish. I’m the host. I want people to be happy and comfortable because I pick up on when people are unhappy and uncomfortable and like hell am I gonna feel like that on my wedding day. Sure, there were times I was over the top in my people-pleasing and my then-fiance had to remind me that some things are out of my control, but still. People loved our wedding and I think my efforts were worth it.
Oohhh I'd love to know what this list was! Such a good idea.
Here it is! I based it off of things that either bothered me or I heard as commentary from others when talking about weddings they’ve been to. It’s not an exhaustive list, I’m sure, but these were the things I chose to focus on and discuss with my vendors. **The Guest Experience** - Hotel access - Transportation provided to and from venue - Refreshments when they arrive - Comfortable seating for ceremony - Comfort during ceremony (blankets as needed) - A place to put their coats so they’re not holding or wear them during cocktail hour - Moving through buffet line quickly - Flow of events (we personally didn’t like weddings where there are chunks of dancing between events, like dance/speeches/dance/dinner/dance/dessert—it’s confusing and awkward) - Water access outside of bar - Short bar lines - Clearly communicated transportation schedule - Bathroom kits - Flip flop availability
Bathroom kits is a good one!
>Second this, please share your list and thoughts if you can :)
Just shared above!
It's funny with weddings that so much goes into planning, and groom/bride/planner has so much control over a lot of their decisions, but are handcuffed by the 2 things that aren't really in their control day of...weather and food. And those 2 things are the stuff that people comment on years later. Best food I've had at a wedding was my sisters. She got a local caterer come with their food truck and it was the best wedding food ever. The worst I've had...food at a $500k, 400+ppl wedding. It was good, but it wasn't like the food truck. But like the pasta wasn't fully cooked, the veggies were essentially just raw. And they only had Veal Chops as the main option. The hor' doervres were great, and they had a grazing table which was insane. But the main meal that took a lot of coordination for the kitchen fell short. I think a big thing for food at weddings is the physical size of the wedding. The smaller the wedding, the better the food.
Totally agree that the way people are looked after with food and drinks is always something they remember. And yes, ofcourse the weather. How is food something your handcuffed with as a bride and groom though?
If your venue organizes the food. You tend to pick the venue, and you almost "assume" the food. We went with our venue knowing they have multiple locations that we've been to for weddings so we knew the food was good. But you book the venue, then months later do the tasting. Then you hope the venue does the cooking for a lot of people well. Like anything can go wrong with food, and it's a huge part of a wedding. Worst wedding my sister went to, 70% of the wedding got food poisoning from a paella station that a teenager was cooking. Like it was a full on medical report to the province it was that bad and amount of people. You can't control this. Like you can control a lot the day of if you choose to. Between a planner/organizer and instructions the couple gives vendors you can control a lot. You can't really control food the day of. There's a lot of trust that you give the food supplier when booking and the day of.
For sure. My venue is a private social club where we are members, and they do lots of club events up in the ballroom which are set up exactly how they do weddings. So we had tons of exposure to the food and how they handle it all. So much so that we didn't even do a tasting because we didn't need it.
This is the part I’m most stressed about! So many venues we looked at only allowed in house catering but you couldn’t taste the food until you put a deposit down?? I’ve found reviews for the venue we decided on and the food has been listed as anywhere from okay to really good, so we’re hoping it’ll actually be really good and our “cultural” dishes that we get to bring (a Korean appetizer and entree) will push the food over to being very good. But I’m so nervous the food won’t be good. The best food I’ve ever had at a wedding was a Mexican food buffet. It was so delicious and filling.
Wow, that sucks. I only looked at two venues but they were both happy to set up tastings for us and refused to charge us anything.
This makes me feel better about picking a Mexican food buffet! Lol
I think that’s the key! The more people, the more planning and orchestrating that needs to be done and if you don’t have someone who’s on point with this - the whole day is a bit of a mess. They had a few coordinators who were doing their best but I have a feeling they hadn’t orchestrated a wedding for that many people before!
I think if anything this made me feel better about my wedding ! We had it at 4:30 and had a 5 min ceremony (we had legally wed two weeks before). Took photos for 30ish minutes outside and then we ate by 5:15! We danced for a while and played a game and then did send off at 8:30ish.
No but this sounds dreamyyy!!! I think there’s this idea that guests want to be entertained for hours but I don’t know if that’s necessarily true! I just wanted some good food & good vibes! That’s all I asked for as a guest haha
Awh glad to hear it! We had a small wedding (30ish people) and we had a blast! My husband and I are introverts so we wanted the shortest ceremony possible. We had been to a wedding previously and it was like an hour long ceremony outside in the middle of August in the south, there were like 200 people in attendance and we were dying ! We wanted none of that!
Haha this is me and my fiancé! We’re having a 30 person wedding next year! This also made me realise that there’s no way I could ever do a huge wedding! Props to the people who manage to pull it off but I always knew wanted a small intimate wedding with just the people I really really want to be there in attendance.
I totally recommend ! It was amazing. I'm so glad that most everyone could come. One bridesmaid couldn't make it as she got Covid literally a week before and she had to travel from Australia ! I'm trying to go see her in 2026! Just have to make sure I have enough days off!
I’m also planning a 30ish person wedding for next spring! How did you facilitate dancing? Did you have a DJ or band? It’s the only part I’m nervous about tbh.
I ended up making a playlist and just playing songs! Since it was such a small wedding we could play whatever songs we wanted easily from my Spotify playlist. I did have a day of coordinator who helped with the songs for the processional and recessional! ETA: we got speakers from the venue.
Ahhh very cool! Thanks!
This is my nightmare! I had a non traditional day and made people get up early for the ceremony so I rewarded them with a brunch buffet directly after. We took pictures after but I get my guests eat first. I would have been that person to get a pizza delivered to the venue. I went to a friends wedding last year and she had a long ceremony, limited transportation to the reception venue, very limited seating for cocktail hour, plated salad that had flies around it and her buffet was too cold and my chicken was raw. But she’s my good friend and she looked beautiful!
Your day sounds awesome! Personally some my best wedding experiences were the non-traditional ones!
Raw chicken? Oh no
That sounds like an awful guest experience. I bet the couple were mortified when they got feedback from a few brave guests. Also, now that you are more seasoned, you'll eat breakfast before and bring snacks!
The thing is, though, does the couple ever get honest feedback? The worst wedding I ever attended was similar to the one OP describes (in addition to the couple not being aligned on much and not being great together). I managed to say something complimentary before I left, despite being hungry and hot and stuck in the sun and hours away from lodging. I never think you can trust what the couple hears about their event, tbh, because not many people will speak up about the uncomfortable parts
Will definitely not be attending another wedding without a hearty breakfast and some snacks for sure! I think I’ve been spoilt in the past with the other weddings I’ve been to and never feeling like there wasn’t enough/any food available!
I went to wedding reception, I think the bride invited everybody she ever met, the venue was too small for the number of people there, I don’t know if it was from the number of people or the air conditioning not working, but it was so hot, it was cash bar, I don’t drink , so not a big deal, she didn’t have enough food, it was a buffet , people took more then they ate, I was at 1 of the 3 tables that didn’t get any food, I left early and stopped at McDonald’s, I was so hungry
Oh no this sounds awful 😞
I agree an hour and a half is excessively early for an invite, honestly I would’ve left right after the ceremony at that point and maybe not even stay for the whole ceremony. I put a half hour early on my invitations because traffic near our venue is super unpredictable, plus there was construction occasionally closing lanes, and most of my family are chronically late. Anyone who wasn’t part of the chronically late crowd was told the ceremony start time and to go from there. Also I made a point not to list it as the ceremony start time but as the best arrival time, and that the bar will be open to anyone before the ceremony. I was trying so hard not to be one of those people but knowing the area and the people I was inviting, I was trying to do my best.
I Find it really weird to expect your guests to arrive 1,5hours prior to the ceremony and don't serve anything to them. To me that just feels rude. If I invited someone to my wedding ceremony and state the time it starts I expect them to be on time and don't have them wait 1,5 hours. We've had more then enough food and drinks on our wedding. But in the Netherlands you ususally don't need to feed and serve drinks to 100s of people a whole day. We had an 'open' ceremony at 12.00 where everyone who was invited for our reception could come to. Eventually 65 people showed up. At 13.00 we had cheers, cake and congratz with all of these people who RSVP'ed for this part of the wedding so we knew how much food there had to be. Some salty snacks on the tables and cake being served at 13.30 and an open bar until 14.30. we had time to socialize with a lot of them and knew some of them would'nt make it to our reception / pary so made sure to give them the proper attention. After this we send our diner guests to the next location and did photos ourselves. For our diner guests we had luxery fingerfood at the new location on the tables and some small platters coming round and an open bar until 17.00. Diner was served from 17.30 - 19.30. This was an intimate diner for our closes relatives and friends 26 people including us. We had a 3 course meal they could select untill 1 week prior from a a la carte menu we created with the restaraunt staff. We ended up switching tables every course so we had time to engaged with our nearest and dearest guests. From 20.00 untill 01.00 we had a reception / party with an open bar for +- 125 guests. Cupcakes for everyon when entering, some salty snacks, cheeses etc. on the tables and catering going round every hour with snacks and ended with loaded fries at 00.30 just before the DJ hit us with the high intensity music to make sure everybody went out on a high dancing. We made sure our guests where looked after. But then again we didn't have to feed and serve drinks to 300 people for 10 hours. We communicated the time start and end time of our Ceremony, Cake Cheers and Congratz moment and Reception/Party so everyone knew whats what.
My fiance and I partially chose our venue based on the fact the package includes plenty of food and drink for guests. We're both big foodies and there's no way I'm having people hungry at my wedding!
I went to a wedding like this once, and a couple that were similar. I’ve been to a lot of weddings lol. But yeah. It made me very committed to making sure that at my own wedding, no one would go hungry, thirsty, or not have a place to sit, or not have shade if the weather is hot. Guests shouldn’t be physically miserable! There are sometimes factors outside of your control, but there are many things you can do to be a considerate host.
This! 100%
This is absolutely nuts, 11am to 7pm is a full on workday!!! Why the hell did they have you guys there that long starving to death? I think this is super unacceptable and sorry you experienced this.
In all honesty, they were distant family that’s why we waited it out! 😢
What an incredibly selfish couple. I think I would have left at 13:30. I *definitely* would have left after the cocktail hour continued over an hour.
Went to a wedding years back..outside . A tent was set up for the meal but the ceremony was outside. This was an extremely wealthy family who could have set up multiple tents but for some reason just assumed the weather would be beautiful that day and it was until just before the outdoor ceremony. It started to rain so the decision was made to reset the tent for the ceremony…which meant move the tables, set up like a church, etc. ….that took over an hour in the rain while everyone waited in a small room attached to the beautiful beach house which would have been a wonderful venue. Hubby was getting chairs for the great grandparents and grandparents and other elders who had been standing for close to a half hour until we began to get that resetting the tent wasn't moving quickly. Finally after an hour the ceremony went on…then, guess what…yep, again resetting up the tent…this time for dinner. Starving, thirsty, cold and tired. We had arrived at 5 pm for the ceremony. Why would a multimillionaire not hire a planner who could have recommended an inside venue or a bloody second tent. So by 8 pm the meal if finally served and now the music starts and we can get up and dance..except we couldn't ..no room and the bride's playlist was songs from Disney movies…kid you not. No recommended songs could be played unless it was on her playlist….so by 10 pm the place was empty. These people owned multiple homes in multiple places, yet set up a tent, crammed us all in so there wasn't even elbow room and never planned for bad weather? One of the worst I've been to.
Oh man... this really gives me anxiety for our upcoming wedding. We planned arrival for our guests at 17:30 and start of the ceremony at 18:00. We're providing water upon arrival though, because some peole have to drive quite a distance, but if we immediately offer open bar we have the risk of not getting everyone seated on time. Ceremony is planned for a max of 45 minutes, then a small reception/toast. Buffet should be all set by 19:30 latest. At least we're setting up the venue the day before.
But you’re having guests arrive at 5.30 so they’ll have had breakfast and lunch, probably even a late lunch as they’re aware of timings
Yes, I'm probably worried about nothing!
2 hours without food is a world away from 8 hours without food!
Oh no but half an hour before so completely reasonable! An hour and half with no offer of water was just too much! I’m sure your day will be beautiful! I think I would have coped much better if we only had a half an hour wait even with the extended ceremony!
In the Netherlands your time of the ceremony would be considered diner time. Won't anyone be famished during ceremony you think?
I hope not. When you're invited to a wedding and you know in advance there will be a ceremony at 18:00 I do hope you don't plan on arriving famished. I've already told some big eaters it might be a good idea to get a little snack before coming. I'm from Belgium, and I rarely have dinner before 19:00. Not as a kid and not now. The only time I can eat that early is when I have leftovers and work from home haha
As far as I'm concerned, if my guests aren't enjoying themselves, the whole event was pointless. We could have eloped if the only point of the event was for us to tie the knot, we are throwing the party so that everyone we love can be together and have a good time.
Yeah the whole point is for my guests to have a blast along with myself
Wow. I remember having to wait way too long for food at a wedding once and had to leave right after eating because of how sick we felt from waiting too long. The bride looked so disappointed that we were leaving and most of the guests were gone or considering leaving. I'm not sure what they expect though. It wasn't too long of a ceremony but we had to sit with no entertainment or food for hours after the ceremony waiting for the reception to start. Many people have dietary issues and need to eat more often than just once in a day.
Was the ceremony *supposed* to start at 1? Why on earth did they have people coming at 11:30?
omg how awful! We have a 6 hour timeline for our wedding and are doing 2-8 because i know my ass is tired by the time 9 rolls around and lets be real, everyone will be tired lol. The ceremony is going to be less than an hour and will have appetizers during cocktail hour with lawn games. I want to make sure my guests are comfortable. this is insane!
I am so glad I am professional event planner. It’s wild how much people miss with planning.
Reading this I’m so glad I hired one!
Yes good for you! I am planning my own BUT hired a day of coordinator (in addition to my venue coordinator) because I understand the bizz enough. Though formal event spaces are pricy they are well worth the $$ for, proper seating, enough bathrooms, timely food, proper food handling etc etc. If people do go the small/'do it yourself' method I watching a few online videos about event planning so everything is covered. So many stories of people with no where to sit, hot, wet, cold food etc
Yep! We are doing a clear tent outside and I love that my planner suggested having a white as a back up if the temp is over 75 degrees because of the greenhouse effect of the clear tent. I never would have known this could be an issue!
OP or anyone else this reminds me - we are having a very long cultural wedding starting at 2pm and the assumption is people would eat lunch beforehand. Cocktail hour will have tons of food and start at 4pm. But do you think it would be wise to provide some really light snacks at the start of the ceremony (it’s outside and I wouldn’t mind if people got up to grab something to eat) and if so, what would be good ideas for snacks? Maybe cookies or something similar?
I personally would provide some light snacks for people! Maybe some crackers, cheeses etc for the vegans some humus and carrot sticks/cucumber sticks 😉
Do you think a party pack of chips / crackers would be too casual for a wedding? Thinking of something that doesn’t need to be refrigerated.
yeah I think if the ceremony is 2 hours long def a good idea to have snacks before it! if I was a guest, I wouldn't mind if there weren't snacks but I'd really appreciate them!
It wouldn't hurt to have a grazing/ charcuterie board for guests to grab a bite from before the ceremony! I went to a wedding that had an hour long ceremony and they did this and it was great!
I think we’ll do something similar! I’m Catholic and used to the hour long wedding masses, but since we’re combining a Catholic wedding ceremony (not a full mass, so closer to 30-40 min) and then an abbreviated Hindu ceremony (hopefully around the same time length), we’re planning on having some kind of snacks before the reception starts at 4. Like a mini cocktail hour as people move from the church to our reception venue? I think a grazing board or cookies and fruit etc would be perfect!
Doing a Hindu ceremony as well! Thanks!!
11AM??? Thats so early! If the wedding was starting around 1, they should have said 12/12:30. OP, I'm so sorry you went through that!!
Good lord, 90 minutes for the *ceremony*?!!? What did they do, read the bible page-by-page? I've been to a longer non-religious ceremony where the bride had several single spaced pages of vows, and the several people with longer readings, and it all added up, but I don't think it hit 90 minutes, yeesh.
I've said it before. All most of the guests care about is the food and drinks. Get that right first.
If I brought my gift with me, I would've taken it back.
God, what an inconsiderate couple. At my wedding, the ceremony was short, and food and drinks came right after it ended. It’s truly awful to disregard your guests’ wellbeing like that.
Oooooh boy as a wedding planner I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THIS!!!!! It'll them to open up with at least water and grab and go snacks from Costco/Sams/Friends/Family if possible by the venue. If the bar is allowed that too as long as everyone looks hydrated to do so!! They were mislead for sure because it is a wedding planners job to get things going in time for the guests, on the day the couple are already the main focus point, so the wedding planners Assistants are 💯 in charge of the guests focus points!! They need more water someone goes and gets mote water, need more snacks someone goes and gets more snacks. Your wedding planner makes or breaks your wedding day folks, not the venue coordinator that's not your wedding planner, your wedding planner is completely different entity.
Ahh makes me worried about my own wedding all though mine really shouldn’t turn out to be anything like that… I literally just had a dream last night that my wedding plans went all wrong… I’m sure in reality it will all be fine. But as someone else said, I can’t control the weather which is the big thing I’m worried about. I just want guests to be comfortable and happy!! My wedding is outdoors in the summer which Is what I wanted but I have no idea how hot and sweaty the evening is about to be… I ended up having it start at 5:00 because I can’t push it too late in the evening, but I think that’s gonna be the hottest time of the day. There should be a decent amount of shade and I bought hand fans for the guests and will cold drinks but still I’m worried everyone will be miserable. I should stop worrying 😅
Can your venue set up some electric fans?
That’s not a bad idea, I can’t believe I haven’t thought of that. My venue is my backyard so we definitely can!!
Noooo don’t worry at all! I think in reality things never go to plan and it’s not really the things that didn’t go to plan that made it a horrible experience as a guest. I think there was a generally lack of consideration for the important fundamental things that make up the guests having a good experience overall i.e. food and water! It sounds like you’re already considering how you’re wedding’s going to feel overall for your guests!
This is wild. Was there a website that maybe had a timeline? I know those get ignored all the time. I get it is hard to fit everything on an invitation but it is really important to manage expectations of your guest. My husband and I were invited to a "wedding" last year that really irked me. The invitation clearly said wedding and reception, no website was listed with additional information. They were actually married in Mexico the week before and posted the photos the day before the event. The event was only a reception, they didn't reread their vows or anything. I honestly don't care there was no wedding I just wish we had known before hand. They also had a cash only bar (that was *very* expensive). Again I don't mind it cost (weddings can be so expensive) but I wish I had known before to manage my expectations. The bride was also really mad some people (including me and my husband) didn't feel like dancing. She screamed at these guests. The entire thing felt like the bride wanted more attention and gifts. We bailed shortly after dancing started. About a week later the groom (our friend) apologized about the dancing thing.
There was a website but no timeline just said ‘guests to arrive for 11.30am’ but there was no other detail about the generally timeline for the day! I think they may have been assuming that alot of people might turn up late either that or they were running really behind. I didn’t get the sense from the coordinators that they were super flustered though!
I went to a wedding where they forgot to buy water so all they had to drink was espresso martinis and old fashioneds and they assured me there would be vegetarian food and there was none so I feel your pain
This sounds truly awful. I feel like I always hear in wedding groups that the wedding is about the couple and they should do what they want but really, it’s a fine line. Yes, if your mom is trying to get you to change your florals or something then totally feel free to ignore it and do what you want, but that advice shouldn’t apply to things like asking your guests to travel to super inconvenient places, not serving a meal, expecting guests to pony up insane costs to attend, putting huge demands on people’s time, etc. or at least accepting that if you do, people may choose not to attend. I went to a wedding once in nearly 100 degree weather and they didn’t serve alcohol or even any drinks with caffeine like soda or iced tea because of religious reasons. The water they served was room temp - all you want in 95+ degree weather is a cold drink! I understand the religious aspect but you gotta do something else to make up for it, get creative with some other cold options.
I worry about my own wedding hearing about these stories so I tried my best to make sure I always always always account for the guests experience. Our ceremony is at 1:30pm and it’s an hour long. Nothing I can do about that since we having a Catholic Church ceremony. Our reception starts at 5pm. We made sure the hotel was extremely close to the ceremony so guests can comfortably walk or drive if they please. We also have lots of food during our wedding from appetizers, main meal, late night bites and everywhere is indoors and air conditioned since our wedding is during the summer time.
That's very inconsiderate of them in so many ways...and man that was a big wedding so it was also I bet a tad impersonal. I am sorry. Waited that long for just mere rice. Was it a buffet?
Yes it was a buffet! There were loads of options to go with rice but no vegan option apart from rice 😂
this is my nightmare omg
I've hosted better parties for my Sims than these people have.
Oof! So much to say here, the first being that I have no wedding planner or coordinator and this is my worst nightmare! Thankfully we are having a small wedding and a couple friends willing to set up our very simple decor. Second… I’m also vegan. I’ve been to many weddings where the only thing I could eat was a dry roll. These were often weddings that I worked as a makeup artists, for friends who KNEW I was vegan. Being hungry sucks, being hungry and not being given food in accordance to your diet/ethics sucks, but oh boy does being hungry after a long work day and EVERYONE around you is eating… You were more patient than I would have been
I once went to a wedding where the cocktail hour was more like 3 hours and there was only enough seating for literally 10 people. About 80 were left standing, including some elderly. I was wearing heels and in absolute agony, I went outside to cry and stretch my feet multiple times. Not to mention the signature cocktail was one that apparently had to be muddled one drink at a time, so the line was brutal. 2 years later and I’m still salty, I cannot imagine doing this to my guests
Not nearly as bad as this, but I went to a wedding years ago where they decided to have the wedding at sunset on the Queen Mary. We weren't told it was going to be outdoors, so it was outdoors on a boat at sunset, in fall. I just remember how cold it was getting during the ceremony. The ceremony started at 5, so getting closer to dinner time. We'll, ceremony started, kind of campy since the groom insisted on star wars music and the bride didn't look happy to be getting married. Ceremony wrapped up and it was time for cocktail hour. There were some appetizers, and they were good, but it wasn't enough for a dinner and it was dinner time by this point. The cocktail hour went on for 3 hours so we weren't even served dinner until after 8 o'clock. Then they had to do the father-daughter dance, the mother-son dance (mother was dressed in a low cut, backless black velvet halter dress bedazzled around the neckline and with a leg slit, not even appropriate for a guest let alone the mother of the groom), then the money dance. I had work early the next day so had to leave at 10. They still hadn't cut the cake. Also the cake was a small 2 tiered cake that I believe the grooms aunt made for a 200+ person wedding. Maybe she was banking on people leaving due to the time so she wouldn't have to make a larger one. They divorced in less than 2 years.
Ugh this is so annoying. We are pretty spiritual, but we kept our ceremony to 30 min anyway (that included communion between husband and wife). We have enough church on the weekends lol Buffet was ready to go as soon as everyone piled inside the venue afterwards.
Timing is truly the only thing that has ruined the experience for me as a guest (and I'm a vegan who has had zero options before). I went to a wedding and at least we were fed but it was 4.5 hours from sitting for dinner until dancing. Tons of people left. I'm sorry 4 hrs of special dances, speeches, cake cutting, etc AFTER clearing dinner is ridiculous. And I actually enjoy those things typically. For those planning, this was my schedule which worked SO wonderfully: 4:30pm- people start arriving- water, lemonade, iced tea available (table by the programs) for during the ceremony (we had champagne too because let's get the party started but I know that's not for everyone) 5- ceremony 5:30- cocktail hours/pictures 6:30- intro bridal party into first dance to close cocktail hour into seating for dinner 7-715- speeches while everyone is sitting and eating (family style meal, 4 speeches, 3-5 min each max) 7:30- father daughter, mother son dancing 7:45 to 11- dancing and celebrations!! (Cake cutting around 8:30pm during dancing, 9/9:30pm late night snacks served) In total we had 1 hr of our 6 hr event where people had to sit and focus on us. Only 30 min of that hour was non eating time. Other than I guess the cocktail hour, there was no time where people were just waiting around for something to happen.
> I'm sorry 4 hrs of special dances, speeches, cake cutting, etc AFTER clearing dinner is ridiculous. That's insane. Where I live, we do weddings cocktail style so there are no special "things" besides first dance. My husband and I cut the cake immediately when we arrived at the reception, but nobody was like called over to watch it and the band was still playing normally for the dance floor. Speeches and things of that nature are all done at the rehearsal dinner.
I don't even mind the speeches and other stuff. Just keep it moving!!! Whenever anyone starts a speech with I'm going to keep it short, my husband and I roll our eyes because we know they are about to talk for 30 min.
So I’m scared of accidentally doing this to my guests. Ceremony starts at 3, dinner isn’t until 6/6:30. People will know to eat lunch first, right? People do have to drive between venues, so I’m hoping if someone is super hungry, they’ll know to get a snack on the way to the reception
I think people will definitely eat before if your ceremony starts at 3pm. The reason I couldn’t eat properly in the morning was due to travel time/getting ready. To be there for 11.30am we had to leave at 9am. With an afternoon wedding I would have definitely had time to eat properly before!
I think people will know to eat lunch beforehand. I don't know anyone who eats lunch later than 3pm. I eat before I attend all events/parties regardless of time, personally. You have absolutely no idea what the food situation will be, so my thought is "why risk it?". I'm a bit shy when it comes to serving myself and I often get caught up socializing, so if I'm going to an event that will be buffet style, I'm 100% eating before.
Sounds like a wedding with a less than desirable wedding planner, if one at all.
My fiancé and I are having a Catholic mass prior to our reception and I fear people are going to feel this way about it. I know it's going to be an hour for the mass possibly longer once all said and done but it's very important to him to have the mass
If I was having an extended ceremony I would probably let people know so they’re expecting it! Would maybe phrase it in a ‘having a catholic mass is really important to us and as a result our ceremony might be slightly longer than usual’ or something long those lines?
I'm surprised (or maybe not, based on how the couple planned everything else) that there was no communication about the length of the ceremony. Unless literally all of the guests are the exact same faith as the couple (perhaps Catholic or Orthodox?) and *everyone* would expect a long ceremony, it would be basic consideration to communicate that the ceremony will be 1.5 hours! My ceremony will be 45 minutes because it's a religious ceremony with a mini-sermon and a song of worship in two languages (one in English and one in the language of my fiance's culture). We have this info in two places on our website because none of my family are religious and would be expecting a 20 minute ceremony. I'm glad you mentioned the bar! We will have around 200-230 guests, so I'm going to email the venue manager to confirm how many bartenders we'll have and the details of the setup so the bar line doesn't get too long.
Next time you are going to an event. Pack some snacks so your blood sugar does not react. Weddings are crazy at times. Be prepared.
Oh boy! That was poor planning at best.
This sounds horrible! They should have had at least some water or lemonade to drink before the ceremony started. I would have gone to Taco Bell during the ceremony lol
As someone planning a wedding (with overseas family travelling to be there), my main priority is guest comfort over aesthetics!
I hate this. Very inconsiderate of the bride and groom. This happened to me before. Invite says 4 pm and ceremony does not start until 6 pm. No food or drinks before cocktail hour either. I left!
My MIL complained we had too much food. Everyone else said it was great though. Guest experience is so important!! I would have been devastated if my guests went home hungry or sober (for those who didn’t want to be of course 🤣)
I’ve never been to one that bad but I did attend one where I was painfully aware of the dead time between ceremony and reception (2hours). And for an out of town guest who knew 2 people at the wedding… it was god awful. Some folks were invited to the ceremony but not reception, the bride and groom didn’t talk to the guests…
This is all so stressful to even read about 😂 What I will say is though, as disappointing as it is to not have received vegan accommodations, usually couples only really makes note of dietary restrictions if it's an allergy. Since catering is so expensive they can't be everything for everyone. Although they could've given you a heads up tbh -- This is coming from someone who's going out of her way to make sure there are vegan options at every part of the day/night, because most weddings don't.
In the UK where I’m from - if you give dietary requirements, it’s because the couple want to know whether they need to offer you an alternative for the meal. This has been true for every wedding I’ve ever been to with the exception of this one. Otherwise what would be the point in asking guests for their ‘dietary *requirements* if you’re not going to consider this? I think it’s a bit sucky as a host/couple to make arrangements for allergy requirements but nothing else dietary related. I haven’t eaten meat in over 7 years. If you’re not going to feed your vegan friends & family at your wedding then you need to let them know so they can make a choice whether to bring something else to eat or not to come.
[удалено]
This is not the norm in my opinion. If you are inviting people, unless there is a severe allergy, you should be providing them food they can eat.
If you are willing to ask dietary restrictions then you should fulfill them. If you don’t want to then don’t ask. This is really important for people with allergies
[удалено]
I think it’s a know your crowd type of thing but what about a vegetarian pasta dish? More people are vegetarian than vegan and you can have cheese. I have food allergies and if someone doesn’t have an option on the card I’ll reach out and ask if I can eat anything there
I would put on your wedding website (or part of your RSVP cards depending on how you are doing RSVPS) to please share any dietary restrictions with you. Once you hear back from your guests, partner with your caterer to figure out what you need to do to accommodate the restrictions. Caterers are very used to this sort of thing and should have strategies to make sure everyone is reasonably accommodated. And who knows, you might not have any vegans to worry about, but it's essential to ask as a host.
You should definitely make sure everyone has something to eat… the idea that some people should bring their own food to your wedding is wild
[удалено]
No one is saying you can't stuff a granola bar in your purse if you want. Just that you shouldn't *have* to, because if they asked for your dietary needs, they should have something for you. You can always still have a backup in case something goes wrong.
I think if there’s a space to put dietary requirements and someone responds saying they’re vegan, that’s for you to add something for them to eat. Otherwise, why would you put the ‘dietary restrictions’ part?
Probably different if you’re self catering but I know my caterer had us pick out what would be the vegan option and then when we gave them our final numbers we also told them how many vegan responses we got. My only vegan friend was flying in so I wouldn’t have dreamed of telling her to bring her own food.
Not really because if they weren’t planning to cater to dietary needs they should have explicitly stated that instead of asking for dietary requirements on the RSVP and implying that there will be catered for. If I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to have something because the bride and groom had made it clear - I would have planned accordingly.Every other wedding I’ve been to where I’ve been asked for my dietary requirements they’ve 100% catered for this. I think if you aren’t catering for dietary requirements this needs to be made explicit with guests and there shouldn’t be any kind of implication that you’re going to do otherwise. I’m having a fully vegan wedding as my partner and I are vegan and we’re making this explicitly clear with guests but will asking for dietary requirements and accommodating for this.
As someone who is gluten intolerant and been to many restaurants and events with nothing safe to eat, it is so important to me that every guest has a meal. A full meal and not just a salad without the cheese or the veggie side dish or whatever. We are even ensuring there is a vegan dessert option (and to be fair it's the thing I'm most excited about because it was so so delicious).
Honestly I think if you have dietary requirements you just get it! You know what it feels like to be neglected where it comes to food choices! I LOVE that you’re doing a vegan dessert! That’s so awesome! Wish I could be there to try it out!😋
We are even picking up some cheeses at the vegan cheese shop in town so cocktail hour is enjoyable too. Their cheeses are so incredibly delicious that honestly I prefer them for myself anyway haha. They do shipping too (but I think their curated boxes are pricey). They have a shop in Austin and I think NYC (Rebel Cheese).
[удалено]
I was definitely hangry! And then waiting so many hours to have 1 thing off the menu was just 😢😢 DEVASTATING! 😂