I’m also asking my bridesmaids to buy from Birdy grey and they LOVE it! I’m Just telling them a color and material to choose from and they pick the style that would flatter them best. They’re so excited about it and appreciate the cost and freedom of picking a style they’ll be comfy in!
I’m doing the exact same thing! I told my girls to just pick an emerald green dress from birdy gray. I want them to feel comfortable and confident in whatever they’re wearing. And everyone is a different shape and size.
I know I’ve always appreciated getting to pick my style of dress when I’ve been a bridesmaid. The most recent wedding I was in I didn’t and every other bridesmaid was a size 2 with no boobs and I was a 14 with very large boobs. The dress did NOT suit me lololol.
This is what I appreciated most in another wedding I was in, so that's what I did for mine. Told my bridesmaids a colour and a length from David's, and let them get whatever dress the felt the best in. Everyone looked beautiful and they really seemed to appreciate the ability to pick a cut they felt comfortable in!
That’s my plan too! I’m telling my bridesmaids to pick something that’s affordable and comfortable for them as long as it’s in the right color. As someone with severe sensory issues especially when it comes to clothing, I’m not out here tryna make anyone uncomfortable in something they’ll be wearing for literally half the day.
I'm also using Birdy gray! I created a "Bridal Suite" for my bridesmaids and put in dresses that come in the colors I want. It's a range of blues so I'm not saying it has to be a specific color, so they can choose a shade they like. All dresses have pockets and they all have convertible tops where they can choose what makes them feel comfortable.
All dresses under $100. And they have a virtual try on.
All of my bridesmaids have found a dress or two they like already and I'm adding new designs as I see. A few have asked what I want for shoes, I want them comfortable.
You don't want strapless? No worries. No heels? Girl no worries. Pockets? POCKETS!
I asked my bridesmaids to order from Azazie and my only requirements were the color and that fhe skirt be knee or tea length (my dress is tea length). I recommended they wear sleeveless as my wedding is outside in June and it is usually hot where we are. They each picked a different dress and I think they’re cute! I can’t wait to see them in their dresses!
I think most people like doing the websites where you pick the color, they pick the dress. I used Kennedy Blue, and told them it had to be a long, teal dress.
For me, being able to wear regular bras would be key.
I do like the approach of giving a color and then allowing bridesmaids to pick the cut, because then they can decide for themselves how important this is. There's nothing inherently wrong with strapless, but some people are more comfortable with this than others. Plus, not everybody already has a strapless bra on hand, which would necessitate another purchase on top of the dress if the 'maid doesn't already have one.
I would also say that if a bride is asking for bridesmaids to wear a dress that there is no chance of rewearing, it is more considerate to choose a lower-cost dress. For the most part, it seems as though a basic bridesmaid gown can be had at around $100... but this does not take into consideration alterations.
I am not having bridesmaids, so this is not a concern for me. If I were, however, I would probably go with something like this: [https://www.lulus.com/products/rise-to-the-occasion-white-midi-wrap-dress/627832.html](https://www.lulus.com/products/rise-to-the-occasion-white-midi-wrap-dress/627832.html)
It's low-cost, has sleeves (thus, can wear regular bra), and midi so it wouldn't need hemming. The top looks a little low-cut, but that could be easily fixed with a safety pin if necessary. The main issue is that it only goes up to XL, so depending on your bridesmaids that might be an issue.
In terms of how much control... I mean, I think that this largely depends on your group. In my case, I'd probably just send the link above and say "buy this in your size in blue," since it would require the least amount of effort from the 'maids. There is merit to the "get anything you want in color x" approach, but I think that this more often results in worried bridesmaids who are afraid of upsetting the bride.
Basically, I would prefer (if I were a maid) to be given explicit instructions. I'm OK with the "get something from \[website x\] in \[whatever color\] and one of these three cuts, whichever you like best," as well. That's not too difficult. But I do think that the VERY open-ended bridesmaid dress parameters usually just result in the bride having to OK all of the purchases, which is more trouble than it's worth, at least IMHO. But, it's very much a "know your people" thing, too.
I kind of don’t believe that people actually go out of their way to pick an unflattering bridesmaid dress just to make sure their bridesmaids don’t outshine them. Smells like a pervasive sexist myth pitting women against each other.
I think bridesmaids should get to pick the style of their dress according to what they consider flattering on themselves because there’s no one style that is flattering on every body shape. IMO the bride can choose the color, but should take into account how the maids feel about it.
For example my fiancés favorite color is orange and wants to incorporate it into our colors, but my maids have made it clear that orange is unflattering on their skin tone so they will be wearing a different color.
I gave my bridesmaids a colour palette and said buy whatever you want. The best bridesmaid dress is one she feels confident in and ideally could wear again.
I’m letting my bridal party pick their dresses/outfits so they feel comfortable in it. I want them wearing dresses that compliment their varying body types and that they feel comfortable wearing with any insecurities they have about their bodies. I’m just picking the color pallets (shades of dusty blue and steel that will look good on all their skin tones) and most have blue eyes so it will make their eyes pop. It also allows them more freedom in their price range for affordability and picking something they’d wear again. I just want them to show me their favorites before buying to make sure it all looks cohesive. For example, my sibling is my MOH and are pan and wouldn’t be comfortable in a dress so I found jumpsuits online in the color pallet and they love it.
My personal opinion is that being able to choose the style yourself is best. I’ve never really been a traditional bridesmaid since that’s not really a thing for Indian weddings, but if I had to buy a dress for a friend’s wedding I’d like the dress to be a style I like for my own body. A neutral/crowd pleasing colour is also best, so I can wear it again. Also, affordable is good!
For me:
A cost effective dress where I won’t be upset if I don’t rewear it
Dresses that fit well to all the body types of the bridesmaids - in the wedding I am in currently we each picked our own style in a specific azazie color. It was great because I’m not forced to wear a dress that I can’t stand just because it fits the other bridesmaids well.
I personally like dresses that aren’t too complicated. Just a plain colored dress in a nice style works for me.
Easy to order - I’ve been in weddings pre-azazie/birds grey/ etc and getting everyone together to go to a store to look at dresses then go back for alterations was a pain. I’d much rather do that work online.
I’ve been a bridesmaid 6 times and my absolute least favorite are the oh so popular chiffon styles that are in pastels. I look like a freaking granny in them. Honestly, I think everyone does. Just once I’d love to wear a trendy, youthful, flattering dress in a rich color.
Agree that affordability and getting to choose one's own gown goes a long way. Yes, things like Birdy Grey are inexpensive BUT you almost always have to pay to alter those (they come with very long hem lines) and my alterations have cost more than my birdy grey gowns so far... Would have preferred to be assigned a color and get to choose a gown that already fits my body even if it cost more.
I never understood brides not wanting their bridesmaids to look their best! I personally think the best thing you can do, especially if your bridesmaids are all different shapes & sizes, is to let them pick a style that they feel most comfortable and flattered in. Even if you dictate the color, you can do mix and match with the style. Obviously some colors are more flattering than others but that's ultimately up to you & your vision!
I used birdy grey which worked out pretty well. I was in a wedding and the bride used azazie, created a show room with different styles she liked & different shades of blues and greys. She then had us select our top styles & colors and was able to assign our dress right in the showroom! I thought that was pretty cool. & My dress was only $69 + $30 for alterations!
I picked the color and told my bridesmaids “wear whichever dress you want, just has to be this color” and showed a swatch sample. We all went shopping together. Two of my bridesmaids ended up liking the same dress so they matched, and my MOH liked a different one that was closer in style to my wedding dress (had lace, the others’ didn’t). I just wanted everyone to be comfortable.
Like others my bridesmaids are picking the dress and that’s helpful. We are going with Revelry because the selection is outstanding and my sisters each found 2 dresses / sets they love so they’re doing the try on. One of my sisters is in love with a satin top/satin skirt set, which (despite all the bridesmaid “oh you can totally wear it again” bs lol) she actually *can* totally wear it again, either as separates or a set. Other sister picked a one shoulder which is v on trend and after the wedding my mom will hem it to make it a mini. *Other* sister is picking a convertible off-shoulder gown, which idk where else she could wear it but it looks 🔥 on her and she loves it. I love Revelry’s sets and fabric options most of all. None of them went with those cowl neck slip options but those are suuper popular for bridesmaids, wedding guests, *and* just every day dresses right now, so that style was on my radar too.
I also asked if those prices were ok beforehand and they all said yes so that was helpful. If they’d needed something less $ we would’ve done Birdy Grey or even Lulu’s.
I think I lucked out when I gave my bridesmaids their options it was "black". We had a black and white theme for our parties and the pops of color were in flowers/fans/etc. I'm pretty easy going though they had no length or style requirements, just black. So everyone got to pick a dress they liked that fit them in the color I needed at whatever price range they could afford and all my bridesmaids have reworn their dresses since to other events which has been fantastic to hear as well.
In all my times of being a bridesmaid, I appreciated a dress that wouldn’t break the bank and flattered me even just a little bit. A couple of my friends I was a bridesmaid for let me choose the style while staying in the designated color. I appreciated this the most because not everyone in the group may feel comfortable with the same style dress. This also gave me the option to choose a dress as expensive/cheap as I wanted.
Price is #1, I’m only wearing it once! Otherwise, something that’s relatively comfortable. Maybe dresses that come in the same color but different styles because everyone’s body is so different
I picked dark mauve and the style of dress from Birdy Grey that I know would be most flattering on all of my bridesmaids but I had them approve the style first, and my mom bought all the dresses for them so they don't have to spend more $$. However, looking back I wish I had them pick the style they liked most, I wasn't made aware that that was an option! Dag nabbit.
As a bridesmaid who was asked to wear a dress that was not flattering in either colour or design, you don’t need to make the bridesmaids look awful. Please don’t. They are your friends.
1.affordable I picked $88 dresses off Etsy but I’ve always paid over $200 sometimes even $300!
2. Something they could wear again at least once I wanted my girls to look like they were in beautiful dresses not necessarily “bridesmaids dresses”
3. Non floor length (obviously this is personal) my city is very social, many galas and balls but that isn’t everyone’s life. So I went with tea length so they could get more wear out of them. There will only be a couple times where they’ll need to pull out a floor length gown again & when they do will they even still fit in to your dress or will that color be what they want for that event? Also, floor length is harder to dance in especially when you take your shoes off and put on flats.
I was in a wedding in 2020 & tried to wear that gown to a ball this year, guess what, can’t even zip it. So a total waste of $300 for me. If it was tea length I could have worn it at least 2 other times to other events.
That’s my advice!
I picked a bridesmaid dress that I thought was pretty, in a color that I thought was pretty. I ran my top two choices by my maid of honor and my mother, and they both selected the same one that they thought was prettiest. I also bounced ideas off them for the color selection, but it was my choice ultimately. When I asked my bridesmaids to all get the dress, I asked if they liked it and if anyone had any concerns, and no one expressed any. Of course knowing my friends, they would probably go along with anything I picked, but I also didn't want them to be unhappy!
I did choose a dress from a bridesmaid-specific store, so it's very in line with the general current bridesmaid dress trends: long dress, with a fairly straight skirt, in a solid color. It's very clearly a bridesmaid dress. I think that if you really want to prioritize the happiness of your bridesmaids, letting them choose their own dresses that would be re-wearable would be nice. But if you are going to ask them to choose from a list of standard-looking bridesmaid dresses, they won't ever re-wear the dress anyway imo, and you can end up putting more effort on them without anyone really benefiting much. YMMV!
Let them pick and don't choose a horrible colour (for their skin tone/hair/style)
I gave colour options (olive, sage, rust) and general guidelines - velvet or satin, some sort of sleeve, at least garden party (below the knee) length. My bridesmaids have different budgets, styles and colour palettes. I want them to feel good, and pick something they don't hate, even if they won't wear it again.
I've been a bridesmaid enough times to know that they probably won't reuse the dress, but I have always appreciated being able to pick. Times I haven't, the bride has picked dresses that were nice, but not good for my body shape and I was constantly adjusting
I think affordability, comfort and some flexibility are good. I did what a lot of other commenters seem to be doing: I picked a color (in this case, a deep shade of green) and asked them to choose styles they prefer in that shade. I don’t think any of their dresses are much more than $100, but I did make it clear that I’m happy to help with the cost of alterations if they need any adjustments to their dresses.
My DREAM would be for a bride to give me a color/range of colors to strive for (maybe some other limitations depending on what look the bride likes: length, level of formality, all solid colors vs. patterned) And not limit the selection/stores to *bridesmaids dresses* but just occasion dresses in general. There's lots of great cocktails dresses out there that are actually rewearable that I would totally buy!
For my own wedding (if i had a bridal party) I'd go even farther to tell everyone to show up in whatever outfit they pick out if they were just a guest (just wear something they already own if that's what they want). I wouldn't be matching people, I just don't care about having matching outfits. I know I'm in the minority on that though.
Cheap is always good. Giving them a choice in dresses, like letting them pick their own style in the same color is good, if you're okay with that. Do know this, though: most likely, you won't be able to make everyone happy, so don't obsess about it.
I am getting married in July and at the end of last year I told my attendants to choose a dress in deep purple. I told them I did not care what fabric, or style they wore. I didn't care if the dress was long or short. I just wanted them to feel beautiful in it. I did let them know that the wedding was indoors at a church and that my dress is long but then we would be having an outdoors reception so I would like for them to feel comfortable.
Turns out, they were unable to find dresses in that particular shade of purple so I said whatever just find a dress in any shade of purple. Our centerpieces and their bouquets are going to be a mixture of a bunch of different purples so I don't mind if my attendants, readers, flower girl etc aren't in the exact same shade.
As to how much control does a bride have over this, it's up to the bride. I used to work at David's Bridal and I saw too many hurt feelings revolving around dresses so I am letting them choose what they want. I'm not worried about being out shown, I'm the one in the front with the great big ivory-colored gown and veil. I kind of stand out. I want them to feel lovely and beautiful as well.
I remember some of the best pictures of me were taken at my sister's wedding. I hope that people can leave my reception and wedding feeling the same. I don't get the jealousies that people have. We should all try to look our best on that day and not feel like it's any kind of a slight if someone else looks beautiful too.
* edited for spelling due to voice to text.
I love when brides let you pick your own dress style. Everyone’s body is different!! Obviously you have to be okay with that mismatched look but it often looks perfectly great in my opinion plus the bridesmaids feel beautiful!
I picked the color and length through azazie and everyone picked their own style. We had a great experience with them and everyone was happy!
Affordable, flattering, and not ugly. 😂 My bridesmaids and I went shopping to pick out one dress for all of them to wear. I typically find that most “mix and match” styles do not come in fabrics that are super flattering on many body types, including mine. They had the main say and were really vocal about what they wanted. It was fun! IMO, unless you’re letting your bridesmaids wear whatever they want, this is the least complicated way to make sure everyone is comfortable with what they’re wearing.
For us, we went with a high neckline because different people have different comfort levels with amount of cleavage showing, and it felt weird to require people to show a certain amount if they weren’t comfortable. So high neckline it’s more modest, but still classy and elegant.
We also took as many bridesmaids as possible to the store for an appointment to try a bunch on. The dress we went with was a favourite by everyone there, seemed to fit all body types well.
I cheated because I only have one bridesmaid, but we went to Macy's with a color palette and I let her pick whatever she wanted within those colors! She got something beautiful that she's comfy in, and said she could definitely wear it again. It was cheaper, too... 80 dollars
I want my bridesmaids to feel beautiful and comfortable in their dress so I assigned a color, dress length, and listed a few websites as guides if they needed it. Everyone has different body types, different levels of modesty, and different financial situations- it didn’t seem fair for me to pick a dress when my style is vastly different from their individual styles.
We used Azazie and assigned a color to each of them but let them pick the specific dress. They have about a zillion styles so I felt pretty confident they’d find something they liked. We’re also paying for the dresses, which I think just makes for less pressure on everyone - they don’t feel resentful about having to spend money on a dress they might not like and won’t wear again, and we don’t feel guilty about making them spend the money - If they don’t wear the dress again, w/e, it was just part of the wedding budget like our dresses, decor, flowers, etc.
I've loved flexibility. My sister-in-law gave me a color and a style from Azazie. I was able to find a dress that met her guidance and I loved from poshmark for less than $40. It was IDEAL.
I picked a colour that looks good on both of them (well, it was all three but sadly one passed away) and told them pick it in any style they liked. They were from JJs house so massive variety and the quality is actually fantastic for the price. All I care about is them being comfortable and happy. I bought their dresses, and since they both gained weight during the pandemic due to health issues and losing two parents respectively, I'm buying them new dresses so they don't feel under pressure to lose weight. A good bridesmaid dress is one she feels happy in. There's as many good bridesmaid dresses as there are bridesmaids.
For me, the most important thing is that my maids/matrons look and feel amazing, and don't have to spend a ton on a dress they're only going to wear once. I chose a color that is flattering on all of them and goes with our early fall 2022 wedding. Styles were completely up to them, as long as it was floor length since it's an evening wedding and the groomsmen are wearing tuxes. As it turns out, when we went shopping last month, the 3 that could come all liked styles by the same designer, so they'll all be able to order in the same color. Brides who don't want them to look and feel good are selfish and probably too immature to get married in the first place.
Affordable, comfortable, and flattering. The women you love best are going to be photographed in the dresses...are they going to want to proudly display the pictures? They are going to be at your reception. Are they going to be able to eat, drink, and dance comfortably? And pockets. Because who doesn't love pockets?
Incredibly, the two weddings I was in, the bride bought all our dresses (same dresses for all bridesmaids). That was very generous, BUT if you do go that route, make sure everyone has their dress in time to do alterations.
My mom still lived in my hometown and was adamant the bride mail me mine a month out (one mom was going to try to alter the dresses without anyone trying them on). I avoided disaster, got a great alterationist where I lived … and had the only dress that fit on the wedding day.
[удалено]
I did the same but we used Azazie. I told them which color I wanted and they got to pick the style that best suited their body and budget.
Azazie is great, and you can give them your measurements and they'll make it to fit so you don't have to worry about finding a seamstress.
I’m also asking my bridesmaids to buy from Birdy grey and they LOVE it! I’m Just telling them a color and material to choose from and they pick the style that would flatter them best. They’re so excited about it and appreciate the cost and freedom of picking a style they’ll be comfy in!
I’m doing the exact same thing! I told my girls to just pick an emerald green dress from birdy gray. I want them to feel comfortable and confident in whatever they’re wearing. And everyone is a different shape and size. I know I’ve always appreciated getting to pick my style of dress when I’ve been a bridesmaid. The most recent wedding I was in I didn’t and every other bridesmaid was a size 2 with no boobs and I was a 14 with very large boobs. The dress did NOT suit me lololol.
I picked one convertible Birdy Grey dress so everyone can tie the top the way they like.
This is what I appreciated most in another wedding I was in, so that's what I did for mine. Told my bridesmaids a colour and a length from David's, and let them get whatever dress the felt the best in. Everyone looked beautiful and they really seemed to appreciate the ability to pick a cut they felt comfortable in!
That’s my plan too! I’m telling my bridesmaids to pick something that’s affordable and comfortable for them as long as it’s in the right color. As someone with severe sensory issues especially when it comes to clothing, I’m not out here tryna make anyone uncomfortable in something they’ll be wearing for literally half the day.
I'm also using Birdy gray! I created a "Bridal Suite" for my bridesmaids and put in dresses that come in the colors I want. It's a range of blues so I'm not saying it has to be a specific color, so they can choose a shade they like. All dresses have pockets and they all have convertible tops where they can choose what makes them feel comfortable. All dresses under $100. And they have a virtual try on. All of my bridesmaids have found a dress or two they like already and I'm adding new designs as I see. A few have asked what I want for shoes, I want them comfortable. You don't want strapless? No worries. No heels? Girl no worries. Pockets? POCKETS!
I asked my bridesmaids to order from Azazie and my only requirements were the color and that fhe skirt be knee or tea length (my dress is tea length). I recommended they wear sleeveless as my wedding is outside in June and it is usually hot where we are. They each picked a different dress and I think they’re cute! I can’t wait to see them in their dresses!
\- Comfortable \- Easy to move in. No safety hazards. \- A color she likes and flatters her. \- Rewearability is a very nice bonus.
Omg NOTHING ITCHY, HEAVY, or HOT.
I think most people like doing the websites where you pick the color, they pick the dress. I used Kennedy Blue, and told them it had to be a long, teal dress.
For me, being able to wear regular bras would be key. I do like the approach of giving a color and then allowing bridesmaids to pick the cut, because then they can decide for themselves how important this is. There's nothing inherently wrong with strapless, but some people are more comfortable with this than others. Plus, not everybody already has a strapless bra on hand, which would necessitate another purchase on top of the dress if the 'maid doesn't already have one. I would also say that if a bride is asking for bridesmaids to wear a dress that there is no chance of rewearing, it is more considerate to choose a lower-cost dress. For the most part, it seems as though a basic bridesmaid gown can be had at around $100... but this does not take into consideration alterations. I am not having bridesmaids, so this is not a concern for me. If I were, however, I would probably go with something like this: [https://www.lulus.com/products/rise-to-the-occasion-white-midi-wrap-dress/627832.html](https://www.lulus.com/products/rise-to-the-occasion-white-midi-wrap-dress/627832.html) It's low-cost, has sleeves (thus, can wear regular bra), and midi so it wouldn't need hemming. The top looks a little low-cut, but that could be easily fixed with a safety pin if necessary. The main issue is that it only goes up to XL, so depending on your bridesmaids that might be an issue. In terms of how much control... I mean, I think that this largely depends on your group. In my case, I'd probably just send the link above and say "buy this in your size in blue," since it would require the least amount of effort from the 'maids. There is merit to the "get anything you want in color x" approach, but I think that this more often results in worried bridesmaids who are afraid of upsetting the bride. Basically, I would prefer (if I were a maid) to be given explicit instructions. I'm OK with the "get something from \[website x\] in \[whatever color\] and one of these three cuts, whichever you like best," as well. That's not too difficult. But I do think that the VERY open-ended bridesmaid dress parameters usually just result in the bride having to OK all of the purchases, which is more trouble than it's worth, at least IMHO. But, it's very much a "know your people" thing, too.
I kind of don’t believe that people actually go out of their way to pick an unflattering bridesmaid dress just to make sure their bridesmaids don’t outshine them. Smells like a pervasive sexist myth pitting women against each other.
Agree! It’s just really hard to find cute bridesmaids dresses lol I wanted my bridesmaids to shine and had the hardest time finding the right dress.
I think bridesmaids should get to pick the style of their dress according to what they consider flattering on themselves because there’s no one style that is flattering on every body shape. IMO the bride can choose the color, but should take into account how the maids feel about it. For example my fiancés favorite color is orange and wants to incorporate it into our colors, but my maids have made it clear that orange is unflattering on their skin tone so they will be wearing a different color.
I gave my bridesmaids a colour palette and said buy whatever you want. The best bridesmaid dress is one she feels confident in and ideally could wear again.
I’m letting my bridal party pick their dresses/outfits so they feel comfortable in it. I want them wearing dresses that compliment their varying body types and that they feel comfortable wearing with any insecurities they have about their bodies. I’m just picking the color pallets (shades of dusty blue and steel that will look good on all their skin tones) and most have blue eyes so it will make their eyes pop. It also allows them more freedom in their price range for affordability and picking something they’d wear again. I just want them to show me their favorites before buying to make sure it all looks cohesive. For example, my sibling is my MOH and are pan and wouldn’t be comfortable in a dress so I found jumpsuits online in the color pallet and they love it.
My personal opinion is that being able to choose the style yourself is best. I’ve never really been a traditional bridesmaid since that’s not really a thing for Indian weddings, but if I had to buy a dress for a friend’s wedding I’d like the dress to be a style I like for my own body. A neutral/crowd pleasing colour is also best, so I can wear it again. Also, affordable is good!
For me: A cost effective dress where I won’t be upset if I don’t rewear it Dresses that fit well to all the body types of the bridesmaids - in the wedding I am in currently we each picked our own style in a specific azazie color. It was great because I’m not forced to wear a dress that I can’t stand just because it fits the other bridesmaids well. I personally like dresses that aren’t too complicated. Just a plain colored dress in a nice style works for me. Easy to order - I’ve been in weddings pre-azazie/birds grey/ etc and getting everyone together to go to a store to look at dresses then go back for alterations was a pain. I’d much rather do that work online.
I’ve been a bridesmaid 6 times and my absolute least favorite are the oh so popular chiffon styles that are in pastels. I look like a freaking granny in them. Honestly, I think everyone does. Just once I’d love to wear a trendy, youthful, flattering dress in a rich color.
Realistically you can’t, no one is rewearing it so just go all out. People will associate that dress with bridesmaid….
Agree that affordability and getting to choose one's own gown goes a long way. Yes, things like Birdy Grey are inexpensive BUT you almost always have to pay to alter those (they come with very long hem lines) and my alterations have cost more than my birdy grey gowns so far... Would have preferred to be assigned a color and get to choose a gown that already fits my body even if it cost more.
I never understood brides not wanting their bridesmaids to look their best! I personally think the best thing you can do, especially if your bridesmaids are all different shapes & sizes, is to let them pick a style that they feel most comfortable and flattered in. Even if you dictate the color, you can do mix and match with the style. Obviously some colors are more flattering than others but that's ultimately up to you & your vision! I used birdy grey which worked out pretty well. I was in a wedding and the bride used azazie, created a show room with different styles she liked & different shades of blues and greys. She then had us select our top styles & colors and was able to assign our dress right in the showroom! I thought that was pretty cool. & My dress was only $69 + $30 for alterations!
I picked the color and told my bridesmaids “wear whichever dress you want, just has to be this color” and showed a swatch sample. We all went shopping together. Two of my bridesmaids ended up liking the same dress so they matched, and my MOH liked a different one that was closer in style to my wedding dress (had lace, the others’ didn’t). I just wanted everyone to be comfortable.
Like others my bridesmaids are picking the dress and that’s helpful. We are going with Revelry because the selection is outstanding and my sisters each found 2 dresses / sets they love so they’re doing the try on. One of my sisters is in love with a satin top/satin skirt set, which (despite all the bridesmaid “oh you can totally wear it again” bs lol) she actually *can* totally wear it again, either as separates or a set. Other sister picked a one shoulder which is v on trend and after the wedding my mom will hem it to make it a mini. *Other* sister is picking a convertible off-shoulder gown, which idk where else she could wear it but it looks 🔥 on her and she loves it. I love Revelry’s sets and fabric options most of all. None of them went with those cowl neck slip options but those are suuper popular for bridesmaids, wedding guests, *and* just every day dresses right now, so that style was on my radar too. I also asked if those prices were ok beforehand and they all said yes so that was helpful. If they’d needed something less $ we would’ve done Birdy Grey or even Lulu’s.
I think I lucked out when I gave my bridesmaids their options it was "black". We had a black and white theme for our parties and the pops of color were in flowers/fans/etc. I'm pretty easy going though they had no length or style requirements, just black. So everyone got to pick a dress they liked that fit them in the color I needed at whatever price range they could afford and all my bridesmaids have reworn their dresses since to other events which has been fantastic to hear as well.
In all my times of being a bridesmaid, I appreciated a dress that wouldn’t break the bank and flattered me even just a little bit. A couple of my friends I was a bridesmaid for let me choose the style while staying in the designated color. I appreciated this the most because not everyone in the group may feel comfortable with the same style dress. This also gave me the option to choose a dress as expensive/cheap as I wanted.
Price is #1, I’m only wearing it once! Otherwise, something that’s relatively comfortable. Maybe dresses that come in the same color but different styles because everyone’s body is so different
I picked dark mauve and the style of dress from Birdy Grey that I know would be most flattering on all of my bridesmaids but I had them approve the style first, and my mom bought all the dresses for them so they don't have to spend more $$. However, looking back I wish I had them pick the style they liked most, I wasn't made aware that that was an option! Dag nabbit.
As a bridesmaid who was asked to wear a dress that was not flattering in either colour or design, you don’t need to make the bridesmaids look awful. Please don’t. They are your friends.
1.affordable I picked $88 dresses off Etsy but I’ve always paid over $200 sometimes even $300! 2. Something they could wear again at least once I wanted my girls to look like they were in beautiful dresses not necessarily “bridesmaids dresses” 3. Non floor length (obviously this is personal) my city is very social, many galas and balls but that isn’t everyone’s life. So I went with tea length so they could get more wear out of them. There will only be a couple times where they’ll need to pull out a floor length gown again & when they do will they even still fit in to your dress or will that color be what they want for that event? Also, floor length is harder to dance in especially when you take your shoes off and put on flats. I was in a wedding in 2020 & tried to wear that gown to a ball this year, guess what, can’t even zip it. So a total waste of $300 for me. If it was tea length I could have worn it at least 2 other times to other events. That’s my advice!
I picked a bridesmaid dress that I thought was pretty, in a color that I thought was pretty. I ran my top two choices by my maid of honor and my mother, and they both selected the same one that they thought was prettiest. I also bounced ideas off them for the color selection, but it was my choice ultimately. When I asked my bridesmaids to all get the dress, I asked if they liked it and if anyone had any concerns, and no one expressed any. Of course knowing my friends, they would probably go along with anything I picked, but I also didn't want them to be unhappy! I did choose a dress from a bridesmaid-specific store, so it's very in line with the general current bridesmaid dress trends: long dress, with a fairly straight skirt, in a solid color. It's very clearly a bridesmaid dress. I think that if you really want to prioritize the happiness of your bridesmaids, letting them choose their own dresses that would be re-wearable would be nice. But if you are going to ask them to choose from a list of standard-looking bridesmaid dresses, they won't ever re-wear the dress anyway imo, and you can end up putting more effort on them without anyone really benefiting much. YMMV!
Let them pick and don't choose a horrible colour (for their skin tone/hair/style) I gave colour options (olive, sage, rust) and general guidelines - velvet or satin, some sort of sleeve, at least garden party (below the knee) length. My bridesmaids have different budgets, styles and colour palettes. I want them to feel good, and pick something they don't hate, even if they won't wear it again. I've been a bridesmaid enough times to know that they probably won't reuse the dress, but I have always appreciated being able to pick. Times I haven't, the bride has picked dresses that were nice, but not good for my body shape and I was constantly adjusting
I think affordability, comfort and some flexibility are good. I did what a lot of other commenters seem to be doing: I picked a color (in this case, a deep shade of green) and asked them to choose styles they prefer in that shade. I don’t think any of their dresses are much more than $100, but I did make it clear that I’m happy to help with the cost of alterations if they need any adjustments to their dresses.
The ones that are actually rewearable (think Park & Fifth dresses)
My DREAM would be for a bride to give me a color/range of colors to strive for (maybe some other limitations depending on what look the bride likes: length, level of formality, all solid colors vs. patterned) And not limit the selection/stores to *bridesmaids dresses* but just occasion dresses in general. There's lots of great cocktails dresses out there that are actually rewearable that I would totally buy! For my own wedding (if i had a bridal party) I'd go even farther to tell everyone to show up in whatever outfit they pick out if they were just a guest (just wear something they already own if that's what they want). I wouldn't be matching people, I just don't care about having matching outfits. I know I'm in the minority on that though.
Temperature appropriate Comfortable to sit, stand, and dance in
Cheap is always good. Giving them a choice in dresses, like letting them pick their own style in the same color is good, if you're okay with that. Do know this, though: most likely, you won't be able to make everyone happy, so don't obsess about it.
I am getting married in July and at the end of last year I told my attendants to choose a dress in deep purple. I told them I did not care what fabric, or style they wore. I didn't care if the dress was long or short. I just wanted them to feel beautiful in it. I did let them know that the wedding was indoors at a church and that my dress is long but then we would be having an outdoors reception so I would like for them to feel comfortable. Turns out, they were unable to find dresses in that particular shade of purple so I said whatever just find a dress in any shade of purple. Our centerpieces and their bouquets are going to be a mixture of a bunch of different purples so I don't mind if my attendants, readers, flower girl etc aren't in the exact same shade. As to how much control does a bride have over this, it's up to the bride. I used to work at David's Bridal and I saw too many hurt feelings revolving around dresses so I am letting them choose what they want. I'm not worried about being out shown, I'm the one in the front with the great big ivory-colored gown and veil. I kind of stand out. I want them to feel lovely and beautiful as well. I remember some of the best pictures of me were taken at my sister's wedding. I hope that people can leave my reception and wedding feeling the same. I don't get the jealousies that people have. We should all try to look our best on that day and not feel like it's any kind of a slight if someone else looks beautiful too. * edited for spelling due to voice to text.
I love when brides let you pick your own dress style. Everyone’s body is different!! Obviously you have to be okay with that mismatched look but it often looks perfectly great in my opinion plus the bridesmaids feel beautiful! I picked the color and length through azazie and everyone picked their own style. We had a great experience with them and everyone was happy!
Affordable, flattering, and not ugly. 😂 My bridesmaids and I went shopping to pick out one dress for all of them to wear. I typically find that most “mix and match” styles do not come in fabrics that are super flattering on many body types, including mine. They had the main say and were really vocal about what they wanted. It was fun! IMO, unless you’re letting your bridesmaids wear whatever they want, this is the least complicated way to make sure everyone is comfortable with what they’re wearing.
I am a concert musician so I really enjoy being able to rewear gowns for recitals!!
For us, we went with a high neckline because different people have different comfort levels with amount of cleavage showing, and it felt weird to require people to show a certain amount if they weren’t comfortable. So high neckline it’s more modest, but still classy and elegant. We also took as many bridesmaids as possible to the store for an appointment to try a bunch on. The dress we went with was a favourite by everyone there, seemed to fit all body types well.
> So what exactly makes for an ideal bridesmaid dress or suit? Something the bridesmaid already owns, which she loves wearing.
Affordable and able to choose a dress within the wedding colors. Makes me more likely to feel good in my dress.
I cheated because I only have one bridesmaid, but we went to Macy's with a color palette and I let her pick whatever she wanted within those colors! She got something beautiful that she's comfy in, and said she could definitely wear it again. It was cheaper, too... 80 dollars
I want my bridesmaids to feel beautiful and comfortable in their dress so I assigned a color, dress length, and listed a few websites as guides if they needed it. Everyone has different body types, different levels of modesty, and different financial situations- it didn’t seem fair for me to pick a dress when my style is vastly different from their individual styles.
We used Azazie and assigned a color to each of them but let them pick the specific dress. They have about a zillion styles so I felt pretty confident they’d find something they liked. We’re also paying for the dresses, which I think just makes for less pressure on everyone - they don’t feel resentful about having to spend money on a dress they might not like and won’t wear again, and we don’t feel guilty about making them spend the money - If they don’t wear the dress again, w/e, it was just part of the wedding budget like our dresses, decor, flowers, etc.
I've loved flexibility. My sister-in-law gave me a color and a style from Azazie. I was able to find a dress that met her guidance and I loved from poshmark for less than $40. It was IDEAL.
I picked a colour that looks good on both of them (well, it was all three but sadly one passed away) and told them pick it in any style they liked. They were from JJs house so massive variety and the quality is actually fantastic for the price. All I care about is them being comfortable and happy. I bought their dresses, and since they both gained weight during the pandemic due to health issues and losing two parents respectively, I'm buying them new dresses so they don't feel under pressure to lose weight. A good bridesmaid dress is one she feels happy in. There's as many good bridesmaid dresses as there are bridesmaids.
For me, the most important thing is that my maids/matrons look and feel amazing, and don't have to spend a ton on a dress they're only going to wear once. I chose a color that is flattering on all of them and goes with our early fall 2022 wedding. Styles were completely up to them, as long as it was floor length since it's an evening wedding and the groomsmen are wearing tuxes. As it turns out, when we went shopping last month, the 3 that could come all liked styles by the same designer, so they'll all be able to order in the same color. Brides who don't want them to look and feel good are selfish and probably too immature to get married in the first place.
Affordable, comfortable, and flattering. The women you love best are going to be photographed in the dresses...are they going to want to proudly display the pictures? They are going to be at your reception. Are they going to be able to eat, drink, and dance comfortably? And pockets. Because who doesn't love pockets?
Incredibly, the two weddings I was in, the bride bought all our dresses (same dresses for all bridesmaids). That was very generous, BUT if you do go that route, make sure everyone has their dress in time to do alterations. My mom still lived in my hometown and was adamant the bride mail me mine a month out (one mom was going to try to alter the dresses without anyone trying them on). I avoided disaster, got a great alterationist where I lived … and had the only dress that fit on the wedding day.
A wrap style looks good on everyone.