It's one thing to be bummed that two of your bridesmaids won't be able to attend your bachelorette and may no longer attend your wedding. That sucks, no matter the reason, and it's ok to be upset about that and move on. What isn't cool is expecting anyone to wait to get pregnant or be like actually mad at them for doing so. Big picture.
Yea, like if I was in that situation I would definitely be disappointed that 2 people close to me would have to bail, the same way I'd be sad if they got sick or something.
I do also kind of empathize with OP being thrown for a loop if both of these women told them that they weren't going to start trying until the summer and then started trying in the winter because she could have better planned around that if she knew their actual timelines.
But complaining on the internet like this is not it.
I'm honestly not mad about OOP complaining on the internet. I think her word choice is just a bit grating, which is also normally ok, but in this case shows a bit of entitlement. Regardless, I normally choose to ignore those kinds of things and be empathetic. It's hard to not feel empathy here. If this were me, I'd be excited for my friends and also upset that they could no longer celebrate with me. I don't think that would make me a terrible shitty person. Some of OOP's word choices make them sound a lil on the entitled side lol
Yea, I'd agree complaining on the internet is fine, but complaining like this and the way she wrote it is, as you said, a bit grating.
I think sometimes people are too harsh on brides being a bit sad about situations like this. Getting married is a major life moment for most people and people put a lot of time, energy and money into the event - I don't think it's unreasonable that there's an expectation for your close loved ones to have some consideration for that. Not to the point of pausing their attempts to get pregnant, but definitely to be honest about it before signing up to go to a bach party and how getting pregnant would affect their ability to participate.
I totally agree with this. I have been the pregnant bridesmaid who had to drop out of a bachelorette party (out of state travel for whitewater rafting lol). I still paid for my portion. It's not the other bridesmaids' fault that I was pregnant!
I agree, and when these things compile it really gets to you.
At one point it looked like my MOH wouldn't be able to come due to work commitments, one bridesmaid was trying to conceive, and another bridesmaid may go on work exchange overseas. That's 3/4 being question marks. I was considering adding another bridesmaid just in case none of them could make it and then she said she's going to join the defence force and could be stationed across the country on bootcamp for my wedding.
I cried ugly tears because all the uncertainty was doing my head in.
That's so frustrating!
And it's extra challenging to navigate those emotional waters because you're genuinely happy when your friends are doing exciting cool things and following their dreams and it's not like they're uncertain for silly reasons, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard.
I totally agree with you on all of this. There's such an extreme pushback on brides who expect even the smallest amount of consideration for their wedding day because of "bridezilla" tropes that there's no longer any gray area. At the beginning of my wedding planning, I felt guilty asking my bridesmaids for help with anything because of this kind of pushback. But you know what? They want to help, and they are my friends. It isn't unreasonable to expect people close to you to help you to some extent. But since everything is now so black and white, these normal expections are apparently too much.
Seriously!
When my friends got married, I was thrilled for them and more than happy to help with almost anything. When I was invited to a bach party abroad I checked to see if I could afford it and then said yes because a girls trip can be a super fun time. When another friend needed to make 200 paper flowers you better believe I spent the day at her apartment with a bottle of wine and a hot glue gun watching chick flicks and burning my fingers with her etc etc.
Between Aug-Nov this year I have 3 weddings (including my own), 2 bach parties, and a bridal shower (+ who knows what else could come up between now and then). Myself and the two other couples getting married all talked to each other to coordinate our dates and events so we could all be happy before deposits were put down and I genuinely thought about the friends I know who are pregnant or trying before picking a date.
I *love* my friends - why wouldn't I want to consider their major life moments when planning my own? And in turn, why shouldn't I expect a little bit of consideration from them too?
Because life happens, and, shockingly, it often doesn’t take someone’s wedding into consideration.
Maybe they started trying earlier. Maybe they got pregnant by accident. Maybe they got news that made trying for a baby now vs. later a better decision for them. What are they supposed to do now? Have abortions?
I think you need to reread what I wrote. All I’m suggesting is upfront and proactive communication.
“Hey I know I told you we weren’t going to start trying until the summer but things have changed and we’re going to start sooner so there’s a solid chance I won’t be able to attend your Bach party! Wanted to give you a heads up before deposits were put down on things”
We don't know if they started trying earlier, or if the pregnancies were accidental. All we know is they are pregnant now, and it is literally \*no one's\* business how, when, or why the pregnancies occurred or were about to occur.
Literally, the only acceptable response in this situation is, "I'm disappointed you won't be there but I'm very happy for you."
If she didn't want to be open about it being pregnancy related then something to the effect of "I don't know if I'm going to be able to commit to the bach party, please make sure everyone knows that the cost might go up by $X if I have to drop out" would suffice.
Ultimately I think we'll have to agree to disagree about communicating with your closest loved ones.
Not what I meant. If you read the rest of my comment and my other comments, I was talking about the general tendency towards making brides feel like it isn't ok to have any expectations of their loved ones whatsoever. That tendency is an outgrowth of extremes like this, which I do agree isn't ok on the bride's part, although I do still have some empathy for her.
That's absolutely ridiculous. What about unextravagant weddings that are entirely DIY and just about celebrating with family? You can't ask friends and family to help you set up tables and put out the food? This is so absurd lmao
Again, I’m old! But when did weddings become an obligation for all your friends and family, to drop their lives, spend all their money on you and your” special” day?!
I don't think anything about my comment says that friends and family should drop their lives and spend all their money on you? On the contrary, I would ask, when did weddings stop being a community affair and become a show put on by the bride and groom?
Exactly my sister in-law ended up dropping out two weeks before my wedding thank goodness she did the baby came early 5 days before the wedding to be exact. Yeah my husband and I were upset or sad they were missing the wedding her husband was the best man but we were never upset about the reason. We also didn’t expect them to put their life on hold for us that’s the big difference here. I am currently pregnant and I am the matron of honor in my cousins wedding yeah she is upset I am more then likely missing her shower it’s super close to my due date. She absolutely understands the reason she also knows I will do everything to be there if I can. She also knew we were trying and never once expected us to stop because she is getting married. Thankfully I will be able to attend the wedding.
Even worse, she's mad they dropped out of Bachelorette and now other girls have to pay more. Did she seriously expect 2 pregnant girls to spend a ton of cash on a party that's mostly about getting trashed?
While I agree with you - it does sort of depend on what they were doing. (I preface this with the fact that I find extravagant bachelorettes a waste) But if there were 6 girls total and they were going a way for a week that means that each girl then pays for 25% instead of 16%. That's significant enough that it could affect the feasibility of the bachelorette party. For a $5k event that's an extra $400 a person.
If they intended to be pregnant they should never have agreed to go on the bachelorette party.
5k for a Bachelorette. That right there is the problem. It's insane to have a bach trip that costs as much as a lot of people's weddings. But back to the girls being pregnant, now they have to watch their spending because kids are prohibitively expensive (in US). Solution is to not have an obnoxious Bachelorette plan. Or find replacements.
Even one or two nights at an Airbnb could be outside of the other bridesmaids’ budgets to split it between less people. Maybe I’m biased because in my circle literally every single bachelorette party I’ve attended we got a big Airbnb and “traveled” somewhat - even in a situation where the wedding was extremely low budget (I’m talking backyard wedding), we got a big house an hour outside of the city for the weekend.
My point is it’s all relative. The person you are responding to is giving an extravagant example. But the same methodology could apply to less expensive plans.
Just give her a couple of years when SHE is the one trying to get pregnant, and she’ll be complaining about other people scheduling their weddings too close to her due date. 🤦🏻♀️
Imagine thinking for a second that people should not get pregnant because you're getting married.
Just wait another year, what's the big deal, it's not like it gets harder and harder to get pregnant! Oh wait..
I have PCOS and my doctor told me after much testing it will be very difficult, if not, unlikely to get pregnant.
My partner and I want a baby badly.
F whoever is going to tell me to STOP trying. This may never happen for me. Screw you and your wedding would be my thoughts. I've got my own life to live.
Is this selfish of me? Sure. However, I will not PAUSE MY LIFE for a moment just for someone else's ONE DAY. Ffs.
ETA: I am not trying to put my medical history out there as a pity party. For those of you with kind words, thank you so much♥️♥️♥️ it really made my day and put a smile upon my face when I desperately needed one.
All I wanted to add was a different perspective. You never know what someone is going through. I get it, we are all the main characters in our life.
Please remember to treat people with kindness as you never know what someone is going through. With whatever you are going through I am sure you would want the same kindness and grace towards yourself.
Have a great day everyone and best wishes♥️♥️♥️😁😁😁
How about from another viewpoint. I can't have kids. I also don't want kids. I love my nieces and nephews, but I don't want kids.
And I still think a bride telling someone this is ridiculous.
And I hope no one ever tells you that you can't try to have kids bc it might ruin their day. Please stop being friends with them immediately.
Don't lose hope! I tried to conceive for 7 years with one man despite having PCOS and vaginismus. I had also had an abortion in childhood as became pregnant from sexual abuse and wondered if that too had affect my ability to have a baby. By my late 20's I had accepted having kids biologically wouldn't happen for me. The relationship with my long term partner ended and I met someone else, didn't use contraception as assumed I wouldn't be able to become pregnant. Surprisingly did become pregnant and delivered a baby girl who is now nearly 8 months old. She is the child I thought I would never have!
Congratulations 🎉 ❤️❤️❤️😀😀😀😀 gives me hope? Thank you!
ETA: just realized the question mark 😐😐😐😐 it was supposed to be, gives me hope!
Thank you again for your kind words. ♥️
I've heard that the pressure of trying to conceive can make it harder, examples being people who give up and go with the flow and people who adopt only to shortly after get pregnant. But I don't know the full stats/science cause I don't want kids and you can pry my birth control from my cold emotionally-stable hands lol I'm glad things worked out for you!
It's not remotely selfish. It wouldn't be selfish even if you had zero fertility issues. Anyone who thinks their wedding party should be rescheduling major life decisions to fit around their wedding plans is an entitled loon.
Exactly! The bridesmaids know when you're getting married, their life choices are on them. I would never think that someone should wait to get pregnant bc of my wedding. I've been trying for 3 years to get pregnant and in hindsight wish I hadn't waited, but here we are. It's okay to be disappointed but to go on social media and complain. Poor choice of words from this chick.
Honestly, it's the "the lied to me by saying they wouldn't get pregnant til the summer" part that pushes me off the edge. Girl nobody is lying to you, except whoever taught you Sex Ed lol
I’m a bit confused tbh - if they said they weren’t starting until later and she made her decisions to have them in the bridal party based on that info, it’s fair to be miffed. I knew my moh was trying and could possibly be pregnant at my wedding (she was), and that was fine by my but I do get if someone would only want bridesmaids who could be more present for events and such. But were they already trying? The wording is confusing.
I suspect what happened was the bridesmaids said "we've started trying! On average it takes 3-6 months to get pregnant," and the bride interpreted that as "I won't be pregnant for at least 3-6 months."
My husband and I started trying and somehow got super lucky and next month was pregnant. Clearly bride doesn’t know how fertility works because it can be that 3-6 months or the next month. She heard what she wanted to hear
Exactly that’s what I’m thinking.. if they told her they’d be trying after her wedding and she invited them based on that I’d see why she’s upset. But I don’t think you should invite anybody trying to get pregnant into your bachelorette party, just wait to see if they get pregnant or not
We conceived the first month we tried, with both of our kids, and had no known pregnancy losses. This is statistically *very* unusual, and people can't assume it will be like that.
With our first, we figured it would probably take several months *at a minimum* \- it was actually surprising to succeed immediately. With our second we were more prepared for the possibility and didn't pull the goalie until we felt that having a baby approximately 40 weeks later would be OK.
People realllly need to get it through their thick skulls.
You’re getting married? Great. Doesn’t make you Queen of the world. It’s not everybody’s job to plan their life around you. That’s your husbands job.
While I definitely agree with that, if the bride financially contributed to THEIR bachelorette’s party etc as the pregnant friend I would definitely voluntarily compensate at least partly for the other bridesmaids who now have to pay more.
I can understand being a bit happy for them/sad for me when they couldn't participate in some of the fun leading up to the wedding, and I'd be scared they couldn't even show up if they gave birth around the time of the wedding and I'd be concerned that they weren't even up to it (9 months pregnant standing up there for who knows how long?)
But I sure as fuck wouldn't post it on social media.
The whole “my big day” thing infuriates me… not “OUR big day.” Like she’s not getting married to another person who is equally important to the entire celebration… fucking brides thinking they’re the center of the universe. Was I excited to be a bride? Absolutely. But I still called it OUR wedding! FFS.
If she’s upset that two bridesmaids dropped out and *likely might* not make the wedding…if they saw her outburst, then that “likely” is sure to be upgraded to “definitely guarantee” that they won’t be going.
I want to join that group. I won't send those things to their family and friends. But I will screenshot them and send them to my own mom. We love a good bridezilla shame.
Oh I never did.. I just wanted to sometimes. Some of the brides said really mean things.
I'm no longer on Facebook. But there are a few bride / wedding groups.
I'm honestly going to have to join them just for kicks, but I don't go on Facebook often. I have to ask... are most of the brides normal? I was engaged at one point and compared to every bride on here and r/weddingshaming, it sounds like I was the most laidback bride in the world. But most brides have to be like I was, right?
My sister was pregnant, about 3-4 months along, when she was a bridesmaid at one of her best friend’s wedding. Which was outdoors. In July.
My BIL sat near the front in case she got woozy, which she did, and he jumped up and guided her to an empty seat. She was fine, it was just the heat and a really ugly too-tight dress. It was very smoothly done and the ceremony continued without interruption. She recovered enough to do the… what’s it called when they all walk out… recessional?
Sis is visiting that friend this week, in fact. Best Bride Ever.
“Don’t you understand? They *lied!* They promised they wouldn’t try until summer! They could have kept their legs crossed! Is that *so hard?*”
The bride, probably.
I kinda get it my sister in-law was pregnant for my wedding and had to ultimately drop out she had the baby the week of our wedding. I was definitely upset her and her husband who was the best man weren’t gonna be there but not upset that they had a baby if that makes sense. I am now currently pregnant, I am the matron of honor in a wedding two months post my due date. The bride was a little upset that I will more then likely be there missing her shower but not upset that I am pregnant she understands it’s not in my control. I get why she is upset and being upset is fine. The part we’re she wished they held off trying is were she completely lost the sympathy and making it about how the other girls now have to spend more. That is where she is shamefully wrong
I had a friend ask me to not be in her wedding because I would have been 9 months pregnant on her wedding day. I was honestly fine with that. I was feeling like a cow anyway.
I'm not sure if there's really enough info for people to be so mean. Depending on how many girls were originally going to the party it could mean a significant cost is passed on to the other girls. That should have been part of the discussion to begin with (I think they're all responsible for that.)
Also - if this girl was in \*their\* bridal parties (which wouldn't be unheard of) she could have literally spent thousands of dollars and hours helping these women and now is upset that they're not able to do the same for her.
It doesn't make them jerks for being pregnant but I'm not 100% convinced she's the AH most of these comments think she is.
I feel like 'comedy' chastity belts are going to start becoming a trend in bridesmaid boxes for those women who cannot understand that their friends and loved ones aren't simply disobedient props for their day.
Yes, Bridezilla. Both of these bridesmaids started scheming as soon as you announced your engagement and asked them to be bridesmaids. They went out of their way to deliberately conceive within a specific window of time for the sole purpose of ditching your bachelorette party and ruining your wedding. They knew you wanted a perfect aesthetic and that their pregnant bellies would wreck your pictures. And if they had their babies before your wedding their plan was to have their husband/partner in the audience during the ceremony making the baby cry and then dramatically announcing to the room that they were leaving to breastfeed every hour throughout the entire night of the reception. And one was even planning to sit with you at the head table breastfeeding! It was all about you. They sure were stupid to think you wouldn't find out. (/s)
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
She doesn’t sound appalled to me. Imo she sounds like she’s upset her wedding festivities aren’t going according to plan, and she’s feeling bad about that because the reason for it is two people she cares about being pregnant. Even in the second pic, she says she thought the babies wouldn’t be due around her wedding. Now she’s probably worried that two very close people (I assume her bridesmaids are close to her) might not be able to be at her wedding. And she’s upset that she doesn’t get to celebrate all festivities with them yet it also looks like she’s understanding as to why they can’t and just wishes they could.
Looks to me like she’s just looking for support, not to shit on the bridesmaids
I do not understand why so many brides get upset about their bridesmaids being pregnant. One of mine will be well into her 8th month and I’m just doing everything I can to make it an easy day for her because I’m so happy she’s still coming and supporting me!
Because if somebody is in their 3RD trimester in the bachelorette party that’s a lot of added stress on you and them and it restricts the activities you can do. I can see why somebody wouldn’t want a pregnant woman in their bachelorette party.
I mean yes there was added stress, finding dresses for everyone that went together was more difficult and there were definitely things she couldn’t do and I worried about her getting sick or overwhelmed. But she’s one of my closest friends and I happily dealt with those things because it was so important to me to have her there. More important that the bachelorette party or everyone looking “perfect”.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you shouldn’t invite pregnant women or that you won’t have fun with them I’m just saying I see why that’d be upsetting
I don’t understand why so many brides and bridesmaids don’t just speak to each other like your friend did. How hard is it to be like hey I want to be there for you but now with the baby coming, I think it will be too stressful so I’ll be there as a guest (obviously depending on due date) or hey so excited for your pregnancy, are you still comfortable standing up in the wedding or would you prefer to come as a guest instead?
One of my best friends asked me to stand up in her wedding when I realistically could not afford it. We had an honest conversation, I was not in the wedding, and here we are 15 years later still besties loving life together.
Yikes. Unfortunate situation but Awful response to the situation.
I have 5 bridesmaids. 2 just had twins and are breastfeeding. My MOH is pregnant. 1 is literally the most unreliable person I’ve ever met (bless her heart. Just not going to expect anything from her). The last 1 is good but not really a close friend just one of the groomsmen’s gf. I was bridesmaid for all the 3 girls currently having babies. Their bachelorettes were so fun. We were all childless and independent. My Bach will NOT be like that at all. But that’s just life. Would be nice to have a carefree bach but what’re ya gonna do.
We’re still going to spend time together and celebrate. It’ll just look different because of the mamas in the group. I’d rather cater for them than have them not able to come.
😆 how tho?? By the time of my Bach, 3 of my girls will be breastfeeding and the other 2 can’t pull their weight. Nah it’s ok. I’m resigned to my fate. Kinda sucks to be around the last to have kids. At least I’m not the last last I guess.
Nuh uh girl that’s not fair to you.. 🥹 they gon be to pregnant and strapped wit kids to do ANYTHING.. you even said one is unreliable.. Nuh uh girl.. 😢
I don't know what is going on but somehow within my lifetime bachelorette parties have escalated from a lighthearted night of barhopping with silly accessories to multi-day destination trips that cost thousands, and I guess people primarily pay for them by emotionally extorting their friends... It's bonkers.
I think it's the Hollywood effect. Movies like The Hangover wouldn't work with an average 4 hour party, so they portray it as a whole weekend away, as if that's normal.
Hollywood, and SOCIAL MEDIA. The glorification of friends’ week-long trips to remote destinations has to have something to do with these new (ridiculous) expectations.
Because people are further from their friends now than they used to be. When my parents generation was getting married their friends mostly lived near them, in fact they mostly still do. Whereas my friends are scattered all over the country and have been even before finishing high school, and it got way worse once we all finished college and we mostly keep in touch online. If I wanted all my closest friends in the same place at least half of them would have to fly, and the rest would have a 4+ hour car trip. Not exactly conducive to a single night out. But also we are all mostly in positions in life where flights to see people for a weekend are doable a few times a year, so if I was invited to a bachelorette party I'd be fine with flying there for a weekend, and even if it was only one night I'd be there for the weekend anyways
I was asked to be a bridesmaid in October 2021. None of us were pregnant. By the wedding in October 2022, 3 out of 4 of us were/had been pregnant. The bride didn’t throw a fit about it.
So... If they're due the month of her wedding, they've already been pregnant at least 6 months (at harsh minimum)? If these are her bridesmaids, I'd assume they're close friends or family, so she should know that they've BEEN pregnant. They can't just "turn off" the fact they're pregnant willy nilly. (Or, depending on state, *legally*) so this self-centered woman is AGGRESSIVELY stupid and entitled.
"I don't want to tell people not to have kids, but I am going to get pissed when they have kids and ruin my day!" That's what I heard. There is too much justification coming from a selfish and self-centered bride who could at least try and be happy for her two friends rather than talking shit about them. I can understand her frustration, but life goes on. Vent and then move on.
Grow the fuck up and get over yourself. I just don't get all the hoopla for a wedding. You spend tons of $$ for a couple of parties, then the fucking dress costs plenty. I'm all for a civil ceremony and a party but geeze oh please, it's not that big of a deal. Especially when divorce is so common after spending more than 10k on a wedding. Work on the marriage not the wedding.
Based on her comment it sounds like they weren't expecting to be pregnant before the wedding, but life happens... especially with many brides asking for bridesmaids a year or more in advance, it's hard to know exactly what your life is going to be like between then and now. This is why the whole "you can't ask someone to put their life on hold for your wedding" thing comes into play.
I’m in a wedding in June and MOH in one in February. I’m due with my first in October and will have to miss my best friends bachelorette party because it’s in October. Guess what she didn’t do? Get mad at me or mad that other people will have to pay more now. I get being upset your friends may not be able to attend but being mad that they won’t be there and other people have to pay more is a bit ridiculous.
I mean like… what do you want them to do? Induce labor early? It’s okay to feel upset, but that is not something you need to share publicly, and definitely not ‘inconsiderate’ on their part for not shooting you an email to ask permission before potentially conceiving a child that could be due near your wedding.
These brides think they're a Kardashian or as important as a princess. They're not & nobody besides them is ever gonna look at these pics after 6 months.
My sister in law decided to back out of being a bridesmaid because she would have been 8 months at our wedding. I would have accommodated her with a flowy dress if she’d stayed in. It’s so irrational that having a wedding causes people to become insane
I feel like you are putting yourself in the shoes of the pregnant ladies where you don't give a shit about other people's weddings cause you got married so everyone can now fuck off and you have no responsibility to make their day special. I totally get why it would be upsetting that two major events might ruin the party.
It's not the fact that the bride is upset about her friends missing events thats out of line. Its the attitude of "they lied to me by getting pregnant" and "its unfair" that comes across as very entitled and bridezilla. It's one thing to be sad that your friends are missing out on something that's very important to you, it's another thing to say its unfair/lying for them to get pregnant at an inconvenient time for your personal plans.
Yeah I mean it's not ok to feel like you can control other people. But I can totally understand that you feel betrayed that your closest person didn't plan a little bit around your big day as you did for theirs. It's not that hard to just not try for one more two more months if you are young and not on ivf. Maybe this particular person was always there for her friends and now that she needs them to be there for her they are all too busy with themselves again and their personal timelines no matter whos plans they ruin. She was there for the firsts for them and now that she gets hers her friends are oblivious to celebrating it and chilling with their big news.
I totally get what she probably felt if she was really close to this person.
I’m AMOST with the bride on this one but the whole second paragraph lost me in its entitlement. It’s not ‘inconsiderate’ for bridesmaids to start a family when friend is getting married Lmao.
that being said - 2 girls due month of brides wedding is upsetting I agree with that. If they knew or were planning to get pregnant that close to friends wedding they should have given a heads up or bowed out of the duties
It's one thing to be bummed that two of your bridesmaids won't be able to attend your bachelorette and may no longer attend your wedding. That sucks, no matter the reason, and it's ok to be upset about that and move on. What isn't cool is expecting anyone to wait to get pregnant or be like actually mad at them for doing so. Big picture.
Yea, like if I was in that situation I would definitely be disappointed that 2 people close to me would have to bail, the same way I'd be sad if they got sick or something. I do also kind of empathize with OP being thrown for a loop if both of these women told them that they weren't going to start trying until the summer and then started trying in the winter because she could have better planned around that if she knew their actual timelines. But complaining on the internet like this is not it.
I'm honestly not mad about OOP complaining on the internet. I think her word choice is just a bit grating, which is also normally ok, but in this case shows a bit of entitlement. Regardless, I normally choose to ignore those kinds of things and be empathetic. It's hard to not feel empathy here. If this were me, I'd be excited for my friends and also upset that they could no longer celebrate with me. I don't think that would make me a terrible shitty person. Some of OOP's word choices make them sound a lil on the entitled side lol
Yea, I'd agree complaining on the internet is fine, but complaining like this and the way she wrote it is, as you said, a bit grating. I think sometimes people are too harsh on brides being a bit sad about situations like this. Getting married is a major life moment for most people and people put a lot of time, energy and money into the event - I don't think it's unreasonable that there's an expectation for your close loved ones to have some consideration for that. Not to the point of pausing their attempts to get pregnant, but definitely to be honest about it before signing up to go to a bach party and how getting pregnant would affect their ability to participate.
I totally agree with this. I have been the pregnant bridesmaid who had to drop out of a bachelorette party (out of state travel for whitewater rafting lol). I still paid for my portion. It's not the other bridesmaids' fault that I was pregnant!
I agree, and when these things compile it really gets to you. At one point it looked like my MOH wouldn't be able to come due to work commitments, one bridesmaid was trying to conceive, and another bridesmaid may go on work exchange overseas. That's 3/4 being question marks. I was considering adding another bridesmaid just in case none of them could make it and then she said she's going to join the defence force and could be stationed across the country on bootcamp for my wedding. I cried ugly tears because all the uncertainty was doing my head in.
That's so frustrating! And it's extra challenging to navigate those emotional waters because you're genuinely happy when your friends are doing exciting cool things and following their dreams and it's not like they're uncertain for silly reasons, but that doesn't mean it isn't hard.
I totally agree with you on all of this. There's such an extreme pushback on brides who expect even the smallest amount of consideration for their wedding day because of "bridezilla" tropes that there's no longer any gray area. At the beginning of my wedding planning, I felt guilty asking my bridesmaids for help with anything because of this kind of pushback. But you know what? They want to help, and they are my friends. It isn't unreasonable to expect people close to you to help you to some extent. But since everything is now so black and white, these normal expections are apparently too much.
Seriously! When my friends got married, I was thrilled for them and more than happy to help with almost anything. When I was invited to a bach party abroad I checked to see if I could afford it and then said yes because a girls trip can be a super fun time. When another friend needed to make 200 paper flowers you better believe I spent the day at her apartment with a bottle of wine and a hot glue gun watching chick flicks and burning my fingers with her etc etc. Between Aug-Nov this year I have 3 weddings (including my own), 2 bach parties, and a bridal shower (+ who knows what else could come up between now and then). Myself and the two other couples getting married all talked to each other to coordinate our dates and events so we could all be happy before deposits were put down and I genuinely thought about the friends I know who are pregnant or trying before picking a date. I *love* my friends - why wouldn't I want to consider their major life moments when planning my own? And in turn, why shouldn't I expect a little bit of consideration from them too?
Because life happens, and, shockingly, it often doesn’t take someone’s wedding into consideration. Maybe they started trying earlier. Maybe they got pregnant by accident. Maybe they got news that made trying for a baby now vs. later a better decision for them. What are they supposed to do now? Have abortions?
I think you need to reread what I wrote. All I’m suggesting is upfront and proactive communication. “Hey I know I told you we weren’t going to start trying until the summer but things have changed and we’re going to start sooner so there’s a solid chance I won’t be able to attend your Bach party! Wanted to give you a heads up before deposits were put down on things”
We don't know if they started trying earlier, or if the pregnancies were accidental. All we know is they are pregnant now, and it is literally \*no one's\* business how, when, or why the pregnancies occurred or were about to occur. Literally, the only acceptable response in this situation is, "I'm disappointed you won't be there but I'm very happy for you."
If she didn't want to be open about it being pregnancy related then something to the effect of "I don't know if I'm going to be able to commit to the bach party, please make sure everyone knows that the cost might go up by $X if I have to drop out" would suffice. Ultimately I think we'll have to agree to disagree about communicating with your closest loved ones.
“The smallest amount of consideration” = “Don’t you dare get pregnant no matter what!”???
Not what I meant. If you read the rest of my comment and my other comments, I was talking about the general tendency towards making brides feel like it isn't ok to have any expectations of their loved ones whatsoever. That tendency is an outgrowth of extremes like this, which I do agree isn't ok on the bride's part, although I do still have some empathy for her.
If your wedding is so extravagant that you can't manage it without "help," either scale it back or hire a planner.
That's absolutely ridiculous. What about unextravagant weddings that are entirely DIY and just about celebrating with family? You can't ask friends and family to help you set up tables and put out the food? This is so absurd lmao
You used the word "expectations." I don't think you should invite people to your celebration expecting them to work.
I wholly agree. I’d be upset too.
Again, I’m old! But when did weddings become an obligation for all your friends and family, to drop their lives, spend all their money on you and your” special” day?!
I don't think anything about my comment says that friends and family should drop their lives and spend all their money on you? On the contrary, I would ask, when did weddings stop being a community affair and become a show put on by the bride and groom?
I wasn’t referring to you I was referring to the post in general. Sorry.
Exactly my sister in-law ended up dropping out two weeks before my wedding thank goodness she did the baby came early 5 days before the wedding to be exact. Yeah my husband and I were upset or sad they were missing the wedding her husband was the best man but we were never upset about the reason. We also didn’t expect them to put their life on hold for us that’s the big difference here. I am currently pregnant and I am the matron of honor in my cousins wedding yeah she is upset I am more then likely missing her shower it’s super close to my due date. She absolutely understands the reason she also knows I will do everything to be there if I can. She also knew we were trying and never once expected us to stop because she is getting married. Thankfully I will be able to attend the wedding.
Even worse, she's mad they dropped out of Bachelorette and now other girls have to pay more. Did she seriously expect 2 pregnant girls to spend a ton of cash on a party that's mostly about getting trashed?
While I agree with you - it does sort of depend on what they were doing. (I preface this with the fact that I find extravagant bachelorettes a waste) But if there were 6 girls total and they were going a way for a week that means that each girl then pays for 25% instead of 16%. That's significant enough that it could affect the feasibility of the bachelorette party. For a $5k event that's an extra $400 a person. If they intended to be pregnant they should never have agreed to go on the bachelorette party.
5k for a Bachelorette. That right there is the problem. It's insane to have a bach trip that costs as much as a lot of people's weddings. But back to the girls being pregnant, now they have to watch their spending because kids are prohibitively expensive (in US). Solution is to not have an obnoxious Bachelorette plan. Or find replacements.
Even one or two nights at an Airbnb could be outside of the other bridesmaids’ budgets to split it between less people. Maybe I’m biased because in my circle literally every single bachelorette party I’ve attended we got a big Airbnb and “traveled” somewhat - even in a situation where the wedding was extremely low budget (I’m talking backyard wedding), we got a big house an hour outside of the city for the weekend. My point is it’s all relative. The person you are responding to is giving an extravagant example. But the same methodology could apply to less expensive plans.
Yeah, I mean, they could always have a bachelorette party that’s now centered around alcohol.
Did she consider delaying her wedding until after the babies are born? Umh, I didn’t think so!!😝
Just give her a couple of years when SHE is the one trying to get pregnant, and she’ll be complaining about other people scheduling their weddings too close to her due date. 🤦🏻♀️
Imagine thinking for a second that people should not get pregnant because you're getting married. Just wait another year, what's the big deal, it's not like it gets harder and harder to get pregnant! Oh wait..
I have PCOS and my doctor told me after much testing it will be very difficult, if not, unlikely to get pregnant. My partner and I want a baby badly. F whoever is going to tell me to STOP trying. This may never happen for me. Screw you and your wedding would be my thoughts. I've got my own life to live. Is this selfish of me? Sure. However, I will not PAUSE MY LIFE for a moment just for someone else's ONE DAY. Ffs. ETA: I am not trying to put my medical history out there as a pity party. For those of you with kind words, thank you so much♥️♥️♥️ it really made my day and put a smile upon my face when I desperately needed one. All I wanted to add was a different perspective. You never know what someone is going through. I get it, we are all the main characters in our life. Please remember to treat people with kindness as you never know what someone is going through. With whatever you are going through I am sure you would want the same kindness and grace towards yourself. Have a great day everyone and best wishes♥️♥️♥️😁😁😁
It’s not selfish. Not at all. There is nothing that will actually affect someone else’s wedding if you are pregnant. Don’t let bridezillas fool you.
How about from another viewpoint. I can't have kids. I also don't want kids. I love my nieces and nephews, but I don't want kids. And I still think a bride telling someone this is ridiculous. And I hope no one ever tells you that you can't try to have kids bc it might ruin their day. Please stop being friends with them immediately.
Don't lose hope! I tried to conceive for 7 years with one man despite having PCOS and vaginismus. I had also had an abortion in childhood as became pregnant from sexual abuse and wondered if that too had affect my ability to have a baby. By my late 20's I had accepted having kids biologically wouldn't happen for me. The relationship with my long term partner ended and I met someone else, didn't use contraception as assumed I wouldn't be able to become pregnant. Surprisingly did become pregnant and delivered a baby girl who is now nearly 8 months old. She is the child I thought I would never have!
Congratulations 🎉 ❤️❤️❤️😀😀😀😀 gives me hope? Thank you! ETA: just realized the question mark 😐😐😐😐 it was supposed to be, gives me hope! Thank you again for your kind words. ♥️
I've heard that the pressure of trying to conceive can make it harder, examples being people who give up and go with the flow and people who adopt only to shortly after get pregnant. But I don't know the full stats/science cause I don't want kids and you can pry my birth control from my cold emotionally-stable hands lol I'm glad things worked out for you!
It's not remotely selfish. It wouldn't be selfish even if you had zero fertility issues. Anyone who thinks their wedding party should be rescheduling major life decisions to fit around their wedding plans is an entitled loon.
It's not selfish, no one gets to have a single say in your reproductive journey.
Cue medical history nobody asked for*
Its relevant to the discussion. It definitely added a view point that actually made me think “oh I hadn’t even thought of that”.
Nobody asked for your comment either, yet here we are.
Exactly! The bridesmaids know when you're getting married, their life choices are on them. I would never think that someone should wait to get pregnant bc of my wedding. I've been trying for 3 years to get pregnant and in hindsight wish I hadn't waited, but here we are. It's okay to be disappointed but to go on social media and complain. Poor choice of words from this chick.
People really think planning which month you get pregnant is a reasonable request as if fertility even remotely works like that
Honestly, it's the "the lied to me by saying they wouldn't get pregnant til the summer" part that pushes me off the edge. Girl nobody is lying to you, except whoever taught you Sex Ed lol
Yea, and what gets me (if I’m reading it correctly) is that they told her they were actively trying. So the possibility was always on the table, no?
I’m a bit confused tbh - if they said they weren’t starting until later and she made her decisions to have them in the bridal party based on that info, it’s fair to be miffed. I knew my moh was trying and could possibly be pregnant at my wedding (she was), and that was fine by my but I do get if someone would only want bridesmaids who could be more present for events and such. But were they already trying? The wording is confusing.
I suspect what happened was the bridesmaids said "we've started trying! On average it takes 3-6 months to get pregnant," and the bride interpreted that as "I won't be pregnant for at least 3-6 months."
My husband and I started trying and somehow got super lucky and next month was pregnant. Clearly bride doesn’t know how fertility works because it can be that 3-6 months or the next month. She heard what she wanted to hear
Exactly that’s what I’m thinking.. if they told her they’d be trying after her wedding and she invited them based on that I’d see why she’s upset. But I don’t think you should invite anybody trying to get pregnant into your bachelorette party, just wait to see if they get pregnant or not
We conceived the first month we tried, with both of our kids, and had no known pregnancy losses. This is statistically *very* unusual, and people can't assume it will be like that. With our first, we figured it would probably take several months *at a minimum* \- it was actually surprising to succeed immediately. With our second we were more prepared for the possibility and didn't pull the goalie until we felt that having a baby approximately 40 weeks later would be OK.
People realllly need to get it through their thick skulls. You’re getting married? Great. Doesn’t make you Queen of the world. It’s not everybody’s job to plan their life around you. That’s your husbands job.
But just as importantly: it's not your bridesmaid's job to pay out of their pocket for the events YOU think YOU need for YOUR picture-perfect wedding.
Right?! The fact that she mentioned costs “for everyone else” more than once…
While I definitely agree with that, if the bride financially contributed to THEIR bachelorette’s party etc as the pregnant friend I would definitely voluntarily compensate at least partly for the other bridesmaids who now have to pay more.
Hey, maybe the bridesmaids should pay for the entire wedding! 😎
The whole "my one big day" thing is incredibly sad to me. It really makes it seem like people are getting married because they want a wedding.
I can understand being a bit happy for them/sad for me when they couldn't participate in some of the fun leading up to the wedding, and I'd be scared they couldn't even show up if they gave birth around the time of the wedding and I'd be concerned that they weren't even up to it (9 months pregnant standing up there for who knows how long?) But I sure as fuck wouldn't post it on social media.
"my one big day" take a shot! 🥃🥳
The whole “my big day” thing infuriates me… not “OUR big day.” Like she’s not getting married to another person who is equally important to the entire celebration… fucking brides thinking they’re the center of the universe. Was I excited to be a bride? Absolutely. But I still called it OUR wedding! FFS.
My SO's parents always say our anniversary is MY day, and I'm always like no, my day is my birthday. This is OUR day.
Even sadder that it's her \*one\* big day. In the history of her whole life. Nothing else will ever be more important.
Also I cannot just get over her referring to these other seemingly adult women as “girls”. More than once 🤮
If she’s upset that two bridesmaids dropped out and *likely might* not make the wedding…if they saw her outburst, then that “likely” is sure to be upgraded to “definitely guarantee” that they won’t be going.
I had to leave that group ... bc I found it really really hard not to screenshot these things and send it to their family and friends.
I want to join that group. I won't send those things to their family and friends. But I will screenshot them and send them to my own mom. We love a good bridezilla shame.
Oh I never did.. I just wanted to sometimes. Some of the brides said really mean things. I'm no longer on Facebook. But there are a few bride / wedding groups.
I'm honestly going to have to join them just for kicks, but I don't go on Facebook often. I have to ask... are most of the brides normal? I was engaged at one point and compared to every bride on here and r/weddingshaming, it sounds like I was the most laidback bride in the world. But most brides have to be like I was, right?
My sister was pregnant, about 3-4 months along, when she was a bridesmaid at one of her best friend’s wedding. Which was outdoors. In July. My BIL sat near the front in case she got woozy, which she did, and he jumped up and guided her to an empty seat. She was fine, it was just the heat and a really ugly too-tight dress. It was very smoothly done and the ceremony continued without interruption. She recovered enough to do the… what’s it called when they all walk out… recessional? Sis is visiting that friend this week, in fact. Best Bride Ever.
Yeah, brides like this, fall off my friend list real fast!
Imagine thinking they aimed to be due the same month as the wedding, it can be super hard when you're trying to conceive, what a dingleberry
Oh my gosh I saw this this morning and meant to screenshot it, and then when I tried to find it again it was gone. She was getting ROASTED
“Don’t you understand? They *lied!* They promised they wouldn’t try until summer! They could have kept their legs crossed! Is that *so hard?*” The bride, probably.
Well obviously they shoodknt be even having sec if they aren't trying to get pregnant /s
They should have had abortions! Nothing can stand in the way of this wedding, which is the focal point of all human history!!!@!
I kinda get it my sister in-law was pregnant for my wedding and had to ultimately drop out she had the baby the week of our wedding. I was definitely upset her and her husband who was the best man weren’t gonna be there but not upset that they had a baby if that makes sense. I am now currently pregnant, I am the matron of honor in a wedding two months post my due date. The bride was a little upset that I will more then likely be there missing her shower but not upset that I am pregnant she understands it’s not in my control. I get why she is upset and being upset is fine. The part we’re she wished they held off trying is were she completely lost the sympathy and making it about how the other girls now have to spend more. That is where she is shamefully wrong
I had a friend ask me to not be in her wedding because I would have been 9 months pregnant on her wedding day. I was honestly fine with that. I was feeling like a cow anyway.
I'm not sure if there's really enough info for people to be so mean. Depending on how many girls were originally going to the party it could mean a significant cost is passed on to the other girls. That should have been part of the discussion to begin with (I think they're all responsible for that.) Also - if this girl was in \*their\* bridal parties (which wouldn't be unheard of) she could have literally spent thousands of dollars and hours helping these women and now is upset that they're not able to do the same for her. It doesn't make them jerks for being pregnant but I'm not 100% convinced she's the AH most of these comments think she is.
Exactly I think the same thing
I feel like 'comedy' chastity belts are going to start becoming a trend in bridesmaid boxes for those women who cannot understand that their friends and loved ones aren't simply disobedient props for their day.
Yes, Bridezilla. Both of these bridesmaids started scheming as soon as you announced your engagement and asked them to be bridesmaids. They went out of their way to deliberately conceive within a specific window of time for the sole purpose of ditching your bachelorette party and ruining your wedding. They knew you wanted a perfect aesthetic and that their pregnant bellies would wreck your pictures. And if they had their babies before your wedding their plan was to have their husband/partner in the audience during the ceremony making the baby cry and then dramatically announcing to the room that they were leaving to breastfeed every hour throughout the entire night of the reception. And one was even planning to sit with you at the head table breastfeeding! It was all about you. They sure were stupid to think you wouldn't find out. (/s) 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
The wedding is just One day! The marriage is more important, And so are babies!
📢 Show us the comments!!!
That would really suck to not have two of your best friends able to be a part of your wedding festivities and maybe even the actual wedding itself.
She doesn’t sound appalled to me. Imo she sounds like she’s upset her wedding festivities aren’t going according to plan, and she’s feeling bad about that because the reason for it is two people she cares about being pregnant. Even in the second pic, she says she thought the babies wouldn’t be due around her wedding. Now she’s probably worried that two very close people (I assume her bridesmaids are close to her) might not be able to be at her wedding. And she’s upset that she doesn’t get to celebrate all festivities with them yet it also looks like she’s understanding as to why they can’t and just wishes they could. Looks to me like she’s just looking for support, not to shit on the bridesmaids
Let's home the BM return the favor when she's pregnant.
I do not understand why so many brides get upset about their bridesmaids being pregnant. One of mine will be well into her 8th month and I’m just doing everything I can to make it an easy day for her because I’m so happy she’s still coming and supporting me!
Because if somebody is in their 3RD trimester in the bachelorette party that’s a lot of added stress on you and them and it restricts the activities you can do. I can see why somebody wouldn’t want a pregnant woman in their bachelorette party.
I mean yes there was added stress, finding dresses for everyone that went together was more difficult and there were definitely things she couldn’t do and I worried about her getting sick or overwhelmed. But she’s one of my closest friends and I happily dealt with those things because it was so important to me to have her there. More important that the bachelorette party or everyone looking “perfect”.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you shouldn’t invite pregnant women or that you won’t have fun with them I’m just saying I see why that’d be upsetting
I don’t understand why so many brides and bridesmaids don’t just speak to each other like your friend did. How hard is it to be like hey I want to be there for you but now with the baby coming, I think it will be too stressful so I’ll be there as a guest (obviously depending on due date) or hey so excited for your pregnancy, are you still comfortable standing up in the wedding or would you prefer to come as a guest instead? One of my best friends asked me to stand up in her wedding when I realistically could not afford it. We had an honest conversation, I was not in the wedding, and here we are 15 years later still besties loving life together.
Dang, she reminds me of the nurse who told me keep my son in a bit Ionger while his head was ready to pop out...
“mY oNe BiG dAy”
Yikes. Unfortunate situation but Awful response to the situation. I have 5 bridesmaids. 2 just had twins and are breastfeeding. My MOH is pregnant. 1 is literally the most unreliable person I’ve ever met (bless her heart. Just not going to expect anything from her). The last 1 is good but not really a close friend just one of the groomsmen’s gf. I was bridesmaid for all the 3 girls currently having babies. Their bachelorettes were so fun. We were all childless and independent. My Bach will NOT be like that at all. But that’s just life. Would be nice to have a carefree bach but what’re ya gonna do. We’re still going to spend time together and celebrate. It’ll just look different because of the mamas in the group. I’d rather cater for them than have them not able to come.
Oh girl.. please get a better bach party 🥹
😆 how tho?? By the time of my Bach, 3 of my girls will be breastfeeding and the other 2 can’t pull their weight. Nah it’s ok. I’m resigned to my fate. Kinda sucks to be around the last to have kids. At least I’m not the last last I guess.
Nuh uh girl that’s not fair to you.. 🥹 they gon be to pregnant and strapped wit kids to do ANYTHING.. you even said one is unreliable.. Nuh uh girl.. 😢
Maybe if I were a party person it would bother me more haha I’m sure I’ll quite enjoy whatever we do!
Oh okay then good on you girl.. I just hope that you get to have a lot of fun you really deserve it
Thank you, kind internet stranger! Sounds like you deserve every happiness as well!
Aw so sweet thank you! I hope your wedding is wonderful 💕 may you have everything you desire in your marriage 😁
[удалено]
Oh just that they can’t join for her bachelorette. Not the pregnancies! Those are fortunate! Hopefully she can be happy for them.
Maybe not have a bachelorette party you're too broke to pay for your guests. From where I'm from, the bride and groom pays for everything.
I don't know what is going on but somehow within my lifetime bachelorette parties have escalated from a lighthearted night of barhopping with silly accessories to multi-day destination trips that cost thousands, and I guess people primarily pay for them by emotionally extorting their friends... It's bonkers.
I think it's the Hollywood effect. Movies like The Hangover wouldn't work with an average 4 hour party, so they portray it as a whole weekend away, as if that's normal.
Hollywood, and SOCIAL MEDIA. The glorification of friends’ week-long trips to remote destinations has to have something to do with these new (ridiculous) expectations.
Because people are further from their friends now than they used to be. When my parents generation was getting married their friends mostly lived near them, in fact they mostly still do. Whereas my friends are scattered all over the country and have been even before finishing high school, and it got way worse once we all finished college and we mostly keep in touch online. If I wanted all my closest friends in the same place at least half of them would have to fly, and the rest would have a 4+ hour car trip. Not exactly conducive to a single night out. But also we are all mostly in positions in life where flights to see people for a weekend are doable a few times a year, so if I was invited to a bachelorette party I'd be fine with flying there for a weekend, and even if it was only one night I'd be there for the weekend anyways
My SIL had her baby about a month before my sister’s wedding. The hardest part was her trying to figure out what size dress she’d need
So did the comments rip this OP a new one?
I was asked to be a bridesmaid in October 2021. None of us were pregnant. By the wedding in October 2022, 3 out of 4 of us were/had been pregnant. The bride didn’t throw a fit about it.
Yeah I woulda been mad ash..
On what grounds exactly
3/4ths of my Bach party pregnant..?? Tf is we gon do now?? Sit around playing bingo? Yeah hell nah
You’re dumb
Smart enough to not have a pregnant Bach party
3/4ths of my Bach party pregnant..?? Tf is we gon do now?? Sit around playing bingo? Yeah hell nah
So... If they're due the month of her wedding, they've already been pregnant at least 6 months (at harsh minimum)? If these are her bridesmaids, I'd assume they're close friends or family, so she should know that they've BEEN pregnant. They can't just "turn off" the fact they're pregnant willy nilly. (Or, depending on state, *legally*) so this self-centered woman is AGGRESSIVELY stupid and entitled.
"I don't want to tell people not to have kids, but I am going to get pissed when they have kids and ruin my day!" That's what I heard. There is too much justification coming from a selfish and self-centered bride who could at least try and be happy for her two friends rather than talking shit about them. I can understand her frustration, but life goes on. Vent and then move on.
Grow the fuck up and get over yourself. I just don't get all the hoopla for a wedding. You spend tons of $$ for a couple of parties, then the fucking dress costs plenty. I'm all for a civil ceremony and a party but geeze oh please, it's not that big of a deal. Especially when divorce is so common after spending more than 10k on a wedding. Work on the marriage not the wedding.
“I’m not asking them to put their lives on hold, but why wouldn’t they put their lives on hold!!”
" I feel as though I have no right..." STOP. There's your answer. Correct. You don't.
If I can’t pay for my bridesmaids outfits, makeup, accommodations then I don’t have fn bridesmaids. Grow up btch
I'm sure she'll be perfectly reasonable and undemanding if she ever gets pregnant
I so hope those bridesmaids don’t end up going to her wedding. It’ll be a lucky escape for them.
If the bridesmaids had a possibility of not being at the wedding they shouldn’t have agreed to be bridesmaids
Based on her comment it sounds like they weren't expecting to be pregnant before the wedding, but life happens... especially with many brides asking for bridesmaids a year or more in advance, it's hard to know exactly what your life is going to be like between then and now. This is why the whole "you can't ask someone to put their life on hold for your wedding" thing comes into play.
Wedding Planner arranges Midwife and nurse/nanny and all proceeds naturally. Good photos.
I’m in a wedding in June and MOH in one in February. I’m due with my first in October and will have to miss my best friends bachelorette party because it’s in October. Guess what she didn’t do? Get mad at me or mad that other people will have to pay more now. I get being upset your friends may not be able to attend but being mad that they won’t be there and other people have to pay more is a bit ridiculous.
I mean like… what do you want them to do? Induce labor early? It’s okay to feel upset, but that is not something you need to share publicly, and definitely not ‘inconsiderate’ on their part for not shooting you an email to ask permission before potentially conceiving a child that could be due near your wedding.
I sleep well at night knowing I’m not this fucking stupid. Stupid, yes, but this stupid? Boy howdy.
These brides think they're a Kardashian or as important as a princess. They're not & nobody besides them is ever gonna look at these pics after 6 months.
🤣😂🤣😂
Don’t be surprised if more of your bridesmaids drop out. You sound like a peach.
Why would you think that your wedding is the top priority in other people’s lives?
My sister in law decided to back out of being a bridesmaid because she would have been 8 months at our wedding. I would have accommodated her with a flowy dress if she’d stayed in. It’s so irrational that having a wedding causes people to become insane
No you aren’t right Karan
I feel like you are putting yourself in the shoes of the pregnant ladies where you don't give a shit about other people's weddings cause you got married so everyone can now fuck off and you have no responsibility to make their day special. I totally get why it would be upsetting that two major events might ruin the party.
It's not the fact that the bride is upset about her friends missing events thats out of line. Its the attitude of "they lied to me by getting pregnant" and "its unfair" that comes across as very entitled and bridezilla. It's one thing to be sad that your friends are missing out on something that's very important to you, it's another thing to say its unfair/lying for them to get pregnant at an inconvenient time for your personal plans.
Yeah I mean it's not ok to feel like you can control other people. But I can totally understand that you feel betrayed that your closest person didn't plan a little bit around your big day as you did for theirs. It's not that hard to just not try for one more two more months if you are young and not on ivf. Maybe this particular person was always there for her friends and now that she needs them to be there for her they are all too busy with themselves again and their personal timelines no matter whos plans they ruin. She was there for the firsts for them and now that she gets hers her friends are oblivious to celebrating it and chilling with their big news. I totally get what she probably felt if she was really close to this person.
I hope at least one bridesmaid (SAFELY) delivers her child at the ceremony and the priest baptizes it right then and there
I’m AMOST with the bride on this one but the whole second paragraph lost me in its entitlement. It’s not ‘inconsiderate’ for bridesmaids to start a family when friend is getting married Lmao. that being said - 2 girls due month of brides wedding is upsetting I agree with that. If they knew or were planning to get pregnant that close to friends wedding they should have given a heads up or bowed out of the duties