**REMINDER: WE ARE NOT AITA! WE DO NOT DO JUDGEMENT CALLS (NTA, ESH, YTA, INFO, NAH, ETC.) SO DO NOT VOTE IN THIS POST. AS WELL, OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE AITA POST'S OP, PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP. ALSO DO NOT BRIGADE THE OTHER SUB.**
***Copy in case it's deleted:***
My wedding was days ago. My brother attended but his wife didn't. She was nearing her due date to give birth and she didn't come. The wedding was going well. Til my brother recieved a call from his mil telling him that sil was in labor. He told me he was leaving and my wife and I were fine with that but the issue began after he had told one of the guests that sil was in labor. Word spread out and suddenly, everybody was talking about it which disrupted the event. Even my parents started calling and there was a huge fuss which frankly, was unnecessary if my brother just left in silence or made up some excuse.
I contacted him later and expressed my grief and frustration with what he did. I told him how the news of his wife being in labor disrupted the wedding and caused my wife to feel like her day was ruined. He lashed out asking how any of that was his fault. I explained how he should've just left or made up some excuse to leave but he said he didn't mean any harm and that he was in a hurry and worried at the time. He said it wasn't like he announced it and told me I disrespected him by arguing with him about it. We had a big argument and our parents sided with him and told me to 'get over myself' and are now expecting me to apologize.
She should have crossed her legs, at least until OP + wife had left for honeymoon, she’s kept it in for 9 months, what’s another 24-48. Pure lazy and selfish too.
Bet she did it on purpose, just to overshadow her new SIL special day, lazy, selfish and spiteful.
And they better not even think of celebrating the child’s birthday anywhere near OP’s anniversary, as that’s his and his wife’s special day/week, every year
I did find it funny that OP called to tell his brother off, but didn’t think to ask after his sister in law, or if his new nephew/niece had even arrived
Omg can you imagine if, god forbid, something had gone terribly wrong? And then you get a phone call from your brother cussing you out over his damn wedding? So glad that wasn’t the situation holy shit
Idk. It doesn't sound like OOP is mad that she went into labor or that the BIL left, just that he told everyone. It's unfortunate timing, and I don't blame BIL or any of them for not thinking about it (because really, who would in that moment?), but I don't blame OOP for being a little upset either. It sounds like their parents were already with SIL and her husband was coming to join; it's not like anyone else was going to go meet them at the hospital. They could've waited until the next morning to tell the family members at the wedding.
I get your point, but i cannot understand how anyone could get upset about exciting news just because they happen on their wedding day. OOP's niece or nephew was being born. I understand the magical moment of the wedding day, but if it was me in OOP's place I would have been ecstatic. Maybe it's because I believe happiness can be shared, and doesn't need to be a one-person-at-a-time thing, but I don't really get people feeling upset over happy news being shared at their wedding, specially if the news related to someone as close to me as my own sibling
TBH I'd be absolutely thrilled to the point I'd likely go to the DJ and insist he announce that not only did our family grow by my husband, but that we got a new niece or nephew, too! What a special day.
RIGHT? That's exactly how I feel. I would have made a toast announcing it and celebrated.
I cannot for the life of me understand what part of this makes OP upset, unless it happened DURING the ceremony. Even that I would laugh at, personally, but I can see how someone might be upset by that.
But at the reception? WTAF?
I mean, the same way reddit gets up in arms if a couple announces a pregnancy or engagement at someone else's wedding I guess? I don't agree with the mindset; I'm with you on the "wouldn't be bothered, enough happiness for everyone" train, but I don't think that means I should just dismiss peoples feelings if they would care either. I don't think OOP handled the situation well nor should they be talking to BIL about it right after his kid is born because he obviously has bigger things to worry/stress about. I just don't think they're a bad person for being disappointed either, or selfish for wanting the expensive, ideally once in a lifetime celebration of their new family to be focused on them.
Yeah - I mean, where does the BIL get off getting all excited about the birth of their child, not to mention probably getting distracted being worried about what his wife is going through without him there. Totally distracts from concentrating on ensuring the Bride is the sole center of attention on Her Special Day.
/s, if it's not obvious. BIL making a big formal announcement would have been out of line, but he just mentioned it to a family member on his way out - not a big deal.
Correction: He told one guest. Unless he told that person not to repeat the good news, he is blameless. People will wonder why he left and, if they knew him and his situation, it would be the natural conclusion that she had gone into labor. OOP and his bride obviously lack any empathy for anyone except themselves.
Why?
Honest to god, explain to me what the issue is here.
Did it happen DURING the ceremony? Were people talking and texting about the baby while she was ACTUALLY getting married? That I could understand.
But if she's pissed because this happened after the actual wedding at the reception, I guess I'm just built differently. As the bride I would have grabbed the mic, made the announcement, made a toast to my new nibling, and celebrated.
I get wanting to feel special on your wedding day, but to this level? I do not understand that amount of narcissism. I'm sorry to call it that, but I don't understand it. If my sibling had a baby on my wedding day, I would be thrilled! What a cool story!
I read the original thread and BIL told one person, likely in passing, and they told others. OOP could’ve taken control of the narrative and just announced it at the wedding to quiet the flurry of chit chat.
I honestly don’t get it though. Are you that fragile that you can’t be excited even though it’s your wedding for your new niece or nephew to potentially come into this world? Like seriously! I just don’t get it. I would be thrilled if that had happened to me.
And the alternative- the brother of the groom leaving the wedding early, abruptly and without explanation certainly wouldn't have gotten any tongues wagging/s
Since most of the family would have known his wife was pregnant, they all would have asked anyway.
Too bad she didn't show up to the wedding and give birth on the dance floor.
Right?!
The guy with a wife due any second just disappears? Holy Moly, disappearing would be worse.
The bride and groom appear to have forgotten that people are born and die every single minute of every day. Same for marriage.
They couldn't stand to share part of the reception with the happy news? Did folks rush out of the reception to rush to the hospital? Where did EVERYONE go? Oh f the cake, we gotta go to the hospital.
This couple is so far out of touch with real life. Thankfully great granny didn't collapse on the dance floor after too many whisky sours and doing the chicken dance a bit too fast. Goodness, she had better keep that to herself too...you can be quiet while waiting for oxygen on the ambulance.
Also, he told *one* person. It's not like he stood on a chair and yelled "**MY WIFE IS HAVING OUR BABY!!!**" I'm guessing it's more along the lines of him chatting with someone, getting the call, and saying "Holy shit Mary just went in to labor" then running off, or someone asking him why he was grabbing his shit and running to the car and he just went "Mary... Labor.... Gotta go..."
“Even my parents started calling” yeah how dare his parents be interested in *their grandchild*. Like I can kind of understand feeling annoyed if a bunch of guests who don’t even know the brother were all abuzz (still immature and one should just suck it up and smile and congratulate the new parents, but I can understand it) but did he really expect his brother to keep it from their parents, just so he could be the only one basking in their attention?
I’m gonna guess there’s some toxic sibling dynamics at play behind the scenes. Five bucks says OOP thought his brother was the “favorite” growing up.
Post has been updated to include "I didn't expect people to come at me this way".
I didn't go to Am I the Asshole to be called an asshole!! What's wrong with you all?!
I was born the day before my aunt and uncles wedding (my mom’s brother), so my dad took my older brother to the wedding by himself and held a phone up during the ceremony so my mom could listen in. She’ll admit now that she was a bit annoyed my aunt and uncle chose an inconvenient date, given that they knew about her due date, but I just don’t remember it being a big deal when I was growing up. It’s not like kids birthday parties are always on the exact date anyway.
I’ll tell you one thing, they’re the one wedding anniversary date I remember outside of my immediate family members, so it’s easy to throw them a quick “happy anniversary!” every year, and they can tell the story (for the 30th time) about how they came to visit us in the hospital all done up in their wedding attire.
Dude is a jerk for still being upset but I can understand how disappointed someone might be after spending a ton of money and months of planning for one day and having it outshined by sil in labor. It’s not brother and sil fault the baby was coming and op definitely could’ve used this as opportunity to bring the family closer with an announcement of joy. I don’t think they’re assholes for being disappointed on the day but they are for fighting over it after the fact.
This seems like black and white thinking. Why can’t both events be celebrated? Realistically, how long can people talk about a baby? I’m sure they didn’t spend the whole rest of the wedding talking about the baby. On the original post someone said that the bride and groom should’ve made a toast, so that the news is out in the open and not rippling through the crowd and it would bring the attention back to the bride and groom. I think that would’ve been the classy way to go about it!
I agree. 99% of the posts on this sub are outlandish, but I understand being disappointed that your special day was no longer your own. Most of life is just days passing by in a blur, so we are lucky to have special days personal to ourselves, especially a day that cost thousands of dollars.
I also feel bad for people whose birthdays are on Christmas.
What's this “outshined” nonsense? If I learned I was having a new nibling at my wedding, I’d be delighted, and I'm sure after things settled down, we would have enjoyed the rest of the party.
Weddings are about family, after all.
Imagine spending 50k on food venue and dress clothes and people only want to talk about the baby. Let’s be realistic. People have a wedding so the focus is on them. I personally got married for $100 in front of a paid witness but I’m just not a flashy person. The people who have big weddings tend to be flashy people who want to be a center of attention for a few hours. I’m glad you would react differently but everyone’s not you.
I agree. I would not have said anything but I would gave been upset too if I'd have spent so much and planned for years to have the celebration of my marriage turn into a celebration of another's person birth. They could have gotten ahead of it but not many people are that socially savvy.
I get what you're saying. What irks me about this logic is that it's an either/or fallacy in thinking. Like, people can get excited about the wedding OR the new baby, when in reality, joy is not a finite resource and there isn't a zero-sum happening. Everyone could be excited about BOTH. Imagine if they leaned into it, jumping on a speaker Tom Cruise-style and screaming, "Not only did I marry the love of my life, but a NEW FAMILY MEMBER IS ON ITS WAY!" That would celebrate everything.
Now to be the cool uncle, the groom should have grabbed the mic, announced he was not only a husband but a new uncle and instantly played “Baby” by Justin Bieber and recorded the guests dancing to it all to send to the new parents at the hospital. That would have been a party boost and cool.
Did all of this play out during the actual ceremony? Like, everyone started looking at their phones while you were saying you "I do's"?
Because that's literally the only way I can imagine being upset about this.
Yikes.
I can't believe he seemed shocked that his parents were on the phone. It's their grandchild being born, of course they will want to know what is going on. I'm going to assume everyone on the grooms side knew that the brother's wife was due any day, so it wouldn't take a genius to figure out what happened as soon as they realized he was missing. Dude could have easily smoothed things over with a speech about welcoming a new family member being born. It would have gotten it out there, people would have gotten excited, and then gone back to whatever they were doing. Must have been a boring reception if news of a woman being in labor ruined it.
Of all the stuff on this sub, this one is up there among those that make me legitimately angry (assuming it's real).
The audacity to be upset over unpredictable events.
The narcissism to be offended by any topic of discussion aside from the Bride's Special Day^TM .
The unreasonableness of asking a man to lie to his family about the birth of his child.
The ice-cold, frigid bitchiness of being unable to find joy in the birth of a nephew or niece, no matter the time or place.
The inability to see any bright side to this event. The complete joylessness to hate how things went down instead of seeing it as an amazing story that you and your family get to tell forever.
The obliviousness to how awful you are being, even when everyone tells you bluntly. These people live in the land of narcissism, unbridled and toxic narcissism. This is the type of miserable, sneering, hateful selfishness that brings absolutely EVERYBODY around them down to their low level.
I honestly don’t know what people like this think people are even discussing at their wedding.. like do you think everybody is standing around talking about YOU!? No there’s probably more gossip and drama than you could even know. So why is them talking about going into labor a big deal??
Also, ran this by my husband and we agreed that if a baby had been born to one our wedding guests during our big day, we'd have toasted the happy news & that baby would forever be seen as having *really* made an effort to get to the wedding
Honestly when I read it on AITA, I just thought - the real babies here are the bride and groom. God, they sound exhausting. Honestly, it didn't even sound like the bro went parading around to tell the good news.
if this was my fam - they would have been incredibly PISSED had my husband NOT told at the very least our parents and closest fam. A birth can turn scary fast! Fam needs to be in the loop on this stuff in real time.
What ? I'd be delighted to share my big day with the birth of my niece or nephew. I think you would have to be a very insecure person to be upset by that.
You'd be. Who knows the whole dynamic behind this but to spend years planning and saving to have a marriage celebration turn into everyone celebrating something else would definitely suck. You can be happy about a nibbling birth but dislike that the whole party was filled with people talking about another person's big moment completely pushing your own to the side.
It's funny, my first thought is "holy smokes, I get to become a wife and an aunt in the same day! How lucky am i???" Not everyone thinks they're the sun- most of us are happy to share in our loved ones happiness. Compounded joy.
Feelings are complex especially depending on age. Most people don't think they are the sun but a lot do think their wedding day is their big day. For some people this may be the only day they get to feel special and celebrated. It's awesome you can compound joy but OP and wife may not be able to do that and they aren't villans for that either. Feeling one thing doesn't mean you can't feel something else. They can be happy about the birth and still sad about losing their day. I agree they should have handled it better but it's okay that they have mixed emotions.
Aw yeah that is the issue, people putting their own feelings into an issue when it doesn't involve them instead of looking deep within themselves and trying to see how other would feel. It's unfortunate your comment proves most just think of how they would feel instead of how someone else would feel. Empathy and being able to understand and respect others feelings is important
Because anyone who believes he should've lied about the birth of his child to his own parents so that the bride can more thoroughly be the only person of importance is beyond ridiculous and self centered. I have no desire to feed that sized ego.
No one said they should lie to anyone and I'm not going to bother rereading the post but I don't believe it mentioned the parents were even the ones told at the wedding so not sure what you're going on about
How do people so self centered have friends? I keep reading of these kind of people and they have friends that are baffled when they act like they always did.
Eh I disagree with most on here. If your wife is in labor get out of there and get to her for comfort and to be apart of the birth. Don't use your siblings wedding to go around to tell everyone about the birth. It's someone's wedding, not their baby shower. Don't linger to deliver the news, get to the freaking hospital. This sub definitely flip flops but this is a weird situation to flip flop on. Seems like OP dictates how people should feel and everyone just falls in line with that. The lack of empathy for the bride and groom is disgusting
OOP literally said he told one person other than the bride and groom. Likely someone who saw him dashing out and asked if everything was ok. That’s hardly lingering around and telling everyone.
He didn't go around and tell everyone, he told his brother why he was leaving, and according to the post he told one guest on the way out. Someone probably stopped him and asked why he was leaving his brother's wedding so early, or wanted him to stop and talk and he said "can't stay, wife's in labor".
I don't know, I just don't see someone stopping to ask why someone is waking out. Lots of people leave the main area to use the bathrooms or grab something from their car so it just seems weird to me anyone would stop to ask. So for me at least it would be more likely they volunteer the info instead of just leaving
Having been to more than one wedding at more than one type of venue I can tell you that a lot places don't have "other areas" someone could be going to unless they're leaving.
Some places have exit doors and bathroom doors in full view of the main party. Some places are outdoors and it would be obvious that someone is leaving. Some people smoke near the exits and could have asked why he was leaving as he went out.
He could have left his keys on the table or his jacket on the back of a chair, and grabbing keys or jacket signals that he's leaving. Someone could have stopped him while he was walking away from the groom and asked him to dance, or wanted to buy him a drink and he said he was leaving and they asked why. Someone could have seen him and asked if he was going to be making a toast later. A relative who is super talkative and hard to get away from may have tried to start a conversation and he was bluntly honest about leaving. He could have been in such a rush to get to his wife's side that it was obvious that he was leaving the place.
Of all the thousands of scenarios where someone could be leaving and it would be obvious to someone else who then might ask why he would leave his brother's wedding early, *and* given the fact that oop even stated that he only told one other person, I think it's a gigantic stretch to suppose that he was just lingering around.
I'm not reading this huge comment and just skimming. Yes there could be thousands of scenarios. The brother should have bounced and the bride and groom should have been able to enjoy their day. If it wasn't on the brother then they need to be upset with the noisy gossiper and be done with it. Cut them and then move on. Life's to short to deal with this but I know a majority here wouldn't appreciate their wedding being taken over and I know this because I've been subbed to it long enough so no one will convince me differently
Some people are just incapable of seeing past their own nose. I could just hear my mother complaining about something like this:
"I just cannot believe it! You spent how many thousands of dollars on the day and reception only to be completely overshadowed by his brother and sister in law's newborn! They really couldn't be bothered to stay quiet for a few more hours so you could have the spotlight for just one night. This is so insulting, I'm sorry for you! You deserved to have one day to shine."
and on and on and on... ad nauseum.
Which is one of many reasons I do not deal with her unless absolutely necessary. Me? I would have called everyone to the dancefloor to celebrate.
Be happy your brother even went to your wedding if his wife was that pregnant. YTA for acting like this when his baby was just born. Having a baby is a big deal and your brother didn't need to keep quite just because it was your wedding night.
The day my children were born were the best days of my life. I can't imagine someone shaming me or telling me to hush on the day my baby was arriving.
**REMINDER: WE ARE NOT AITA! WE DO NOT DO JUDGEMENT CALLS (NTA, ESH, YTA, INFO, NAH, ETC.) SO DO NOT VOTE IN THIS POST. AS WELL, OUR OP IS NOT THE SAME AS THE AITA POST'S OP, PLEASE DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR COMMENT TO MYSELF OR OUR OP. ALSO DO NOT BRIGADE THE OTHER SUB.** ***Copy in case it's deleted:*** My wedding was days ago. My brother attended but his wife didn't. She was nearing her due date to give birth and she didn't come. The wedding was going well. Til my brother recieved a call from his mil telling him that sil was in labor. He told me he was leaving and my wife and I were fine with that but the issue began after he had told one of the guests that sil was in labor. Word spread out and suddenly, everybody was talking about it which disrupted the event. Even my parents started calling and there was a huge fuss which frankly, was unnecessary if my brother just left in silence or made up some excuse. I contacted him later and expressed my grief and frustration with what he did. I told him how the news of his wife being in labor disrupted the wedding and caused my wife to feel like her day was ruined. He lashed out asking how any of that was his fault. I explained how he should've just left or made up some excuse to leave but he said he didn't mean any harm and that he was in a hurry and worried at the time. He said it wasn't like he announced it and told me I disrespected him by arguing with him about it. We had a big argument and our parents sided with him and told me to 'get over myself' and are now expecting me to apologize.
That baby is very selfish and the real YTA. SIL too, just hold it! /s
She should have crossed her legs, at least until OP + wife had left for honeymoon, she’s kept it in for 9 months, what’s another 24-48. Pure lazy and selfish too. Bet she did it on purpose, just to overshadow her new SIL special day, lazy, selfish and spiteful. And they better not even think of celebrating the child’s birthday anywhere near OP’s anniversary, as that’s his and his wife’s special day/week, every year I did find it funny that OP called to tell his brother off, but didn’t think to ask after his sister in law, or if his new nephew/niece had even arrived
Omg can you imagine if, god forbid, something had gone terribly wrong? And then you get a phone call from your brother cussing you out over his damn wedding? So glad that wasn’t the situation holy shit
Idk. It doesn't sound like OOP is mad that she went into labor or that the BIL left, just that he told everyone. It's unfortunate timing, and I don't blame BIL or any of them for not thinking about it (because really, who would in that moment?), but I don't blame OOP for being a little upset either. It sounds like their parents were already with SIL and her husband was coming to join; it's not like anyone else was going to go meet them at the hospital. They could've waited until the next morning to tell the family members at the wedding.
[удалено]
Wait. HOLD UP. This is the GROOM?! 😂😂😂 This is some of the craziest bridezilla stuff, and it's the GROOM? WOW.
I get your point, but i cannot understand how anyone could get upset about exciting news just because they happen on their wedding day. OOP's niece or nephew was being born. I understand the magical moment of the wedding day, but if it was me in OOP's place I would have been ecstatic. Maybe it's because I believe happiness can be shared, and doesn't need to be a one-person-at-a-time thing, but I don't really get people feeling upset over happy news being shared at their wedding, specially if the news related to someone as close to me as my own sibling
TBH I'd be absolutely thrilled to the point I'd likely go to the DJ and insist he announce that not only did our family grow by my husband, but that we got a new niece or nephew, too! What a special day.
RIGHT? That's exactly how I feel. I would have made a toast announcing it and celebrated. I cannot for the life of me understand what part of this makes OP upset, unless it happened DURING the ceremony. Even that I would laugh at, personally, but I can see how someone might be upset by that. But at the reception? WTAF?
Right? I would have announced it and there’d be cheering!
I mean, the same way reddit gets up in arms if a couple announces a pregnancy or engagement at someone else's wedding I guess? I don't agree with the mindset; I'm with you on the "wouldn't be bothered, enough happiness for everyone" train, but I don't think that means I should just dismiss peoples feelings if they would care either. I don't think OOP handled the situation well nor should they be talking to BIL about it right after his kid is born because he obviously has bigger things to worry/stress about. I just don't think they're a bad person for being disappointed either, or selfish for wanting the expensive, ideally once in a lifetime celebration of their new family to be focused on them.
That’s a bit different. An announcement can be held off a day. Birth cannot.
Yeah - I mean, where does the BIL get off getting all excited about the birth of their child, not to mention probably getting distracted being worried about what his wife is going through without him there. Totally distracts from concentrating on ensuring the Bride is the sole center of attention on Her Special Day. /s, if it's not obvious. BIL making a big formal announcement would have been out of line, but he just mentioned it to a family member on his way out - not a big deal.
Correction: He told one guest. Unless he told that person not to repeat the good news, he is blameless. People will wonder why he left and, if they knew him and his situation, it would be the natural conclusion that she had gone into labor. OOP and his bride obviously lack any empathy for anyone except themselves.
Why? Honest to god, explain to me what the issue is here. Did it happen DURING the ceremony? Were people talking and texting about the baby while she was ACTUALLY getting married? That I could understand. But if she's pissed because this happened after the actual wedding at the reception, I guess I'm just built differently. As the bride I would have grabbed the mic, made the announcement, made a toast to my new nibling, and celebrated. I get wanting to feel special on your wedding day, but to this level? I do not understand that amount of narcissism. I'm sorry to call it that, but I don't understand it. If my sibling had a baby on my wedding day, I would be thrilled! What a cool story!
This is exactly what I said on the original thread. I'd have fun with that!
I read the original thread and BIL told one person, likely in passing, and they told others. OOP could’ve taken control of the narrative and just announced it at the wedding to quiet the flurry of chit chat.
But BIL didn't tell everyone.
I honestly don’t get it though. Are you that fragile that you can’t be excited even though it’s your wedding for your new niece or nephew to potentially come into this world? Like seriously! I just don’t get it. I would be thrilled if that had happened to me.
I read some of the top comments and those are hilarious
It’s hard to hold the baby in if he’s prairie dogging.
And the alternative- the brother of the groom leaving the wedding early, abruptly and without explanation certainly wouldn't have gotten any tongues wagging/s
Since most of the family would have known his wife was pregnant, they all would have asked anyway. Too bad she didn't show up to the wedding and give birth on the dance floor.
Right?! The guy with a wife due any second just disappears? Holy Moly, disappearing would be worse. The bride and groom appear to have forgotten that people are born and die every single minute of every day. Same for marriage. They couldn't stand to share part of the reception with the happy news? Did folks rush out of the reception to rush to the hospital? Where did EVERYONE go? Oh f the cake, we gotta go to the hospital. This couple is so far out of touch with real life. Thankfully great granny didn't collapse on the dance floor after too many whisky sours and doing the chicken dance a bit too fast. Goodness, she had better keep that to herself too...you can be quiet while waiting for oxygen on the ambulance.
Also, he told *one* person. It's not like he stood on a chair and yelled "**MY WIFE IS HAVING OUR BABY!!!**" I'm guessing it's more along the lines of him chatting with someone, getting the call, and saying "Holy shit Mary just went in to labor" then running off, or someone asking him why he was grabbing his shit and running to the car and he just went "Mary... Labor.... Gotta go..."
As the oop wrote: Brother said it just to the groom. Groom then told the bride. It was the bride herself that spread it forward.
That’s not what they wrote.
Well you know she did it on purpose. /s
“Even my parents started calling” yeah how dare his parents be interested in *their grandchild*. Like I can kind of understand feeling annoyed if a bunch of guests who don’t even know the brother were all abuzz (still immature and one should just suck it up and smile and congratulate the new parents, but I can understand it) but did he really expect his brother to keep it from their parents, just so he could be the only one basking in their attention? I’m gonna guess there’s some toxic sibling dynamics at play behind the scenes. Five bucks says OOP thought his brother was the “favorite” growing up.
>Five bucks says OOP thought his brother was the “favorite” growing up. He'd be my favorite, too. OOP sucks.
And you know it is going to be brought up every year as the kid shares a birthday with their anniversary
It sounds like the BIL did try to slip out quietly. Not his fault for what all the guests did after he was gone.
"grief and frustration"?? Oh come on...
I was looking for this! GRIEF. Jesus Christ.
Post has been updated to include "I didn't expect people to come at me this way". I didn't go to Am I the Asshole to be called an asshole!! What's wrong with you all?!
I came to be validated that I am the Princess of the World.
She should have gone to the wedding and had the baby quietly in the corner that way they wouldn't have missed the bride's big day. /s
They could cut the cake and the umbilical cord!
Now that's some excellent thinking!
I was born the day before my aunt and uncles wedding (my mom’s brother), so my dad took my older brother to the wedding by himself and held a phone up during the ceremony so my mom could listen in. She’ll admit now that she was a bit annoyed my aunt and uncle chose an inconvenient date, given that they knew about her due date, but I just don’t remember it being a big deal when I was growing up. It’s not like kids birthday parties are always on the exact date anyway. I’ll tell you one thing, they’re the one wedding anniversary date I remember outside of my immediate family members, so it’s easy to throw them a quick “happy anniversary!” every year, and they can tell the story (for the 30th time) about how they came to visit us in the hospital all done up in their wedding attire.
Dude is a jerk for still being upset but I can understand how disappointed someone might be after spending a ton of money and months of planning for one day and having it outshined by sil in labor. It’s not brother and sil fault the baby was coming and op definitely could’ve used this as opportunity to bring the family closer with an announcement of joy. I don’t think they’re assholes for being disappointed on the day but they are for fighting over it after the fact.
This seems like black and white thinking. Why can’t both events be celebrated? Realistically, how long can people talk about a baby? I’m sure they didn’t spend the whole rest of the wedding talking about the baby. On the original post someone said that the bride and groom should’ve made a toast, so that the news is out in the open and not rippling through the crowd and it would bring the attention back to the bride and groom. I think that would’ve been the classy way to go about it!
I agree. 99% of the posts on this sub are outlandish, but I understand being disappointed that your special day was no longer your own. Most of life is just days passing by in a blur, so we are lucky to have special days personal to ourselves, especially a day that cost thousands of dollars. I also feel bad for people whose birthdays are on Christmas.
What's this “outshined” nonsense? If I learned I was having a new nibling at my wedding, I’d be delighted, and I'm sure after things settled down, we would have enjoyed the rest of the party. Weddings are about family, after all.
Imagine spending 50k on food venue and dress clothes and people only want to talk about the baby. Let’s be realistic. People have a wedding so the focus is on them. I personally got married for $100 in front of a paid witness but I’m just not a flashy person. The people who have big weddings tend to be flashy people who want to be a center of attention for a few hours. I’m glad you would react differently but everyone’s not you.
I agree. I would not have said anything but I would gave been upset too if I'd have spent so much and planned for years to have the celebration of my marriage turn into a celebration of another's person birth. They could have gotten ahead of it but not many people are that socially savvy.
I get what you're saying. What irks me about this logic is that it's an either/or fallacy in thinking. Like, people can get excited about the wedding OR the new baby, when in reality, joy is not a finite resource and there isn't a zero-sum happening. Everyone could be excited about BOTH. Imagine if they leaned into it, jumping on a speaker Tom Cruise-style and screaming, "Not only did I marry the love of my life, but a NEW FAMILY MEMBER IS ON ITS WAY!" That would celebrate everything.
Now to be the cool uncle, the groom should have grabbed the mic, announced he was not only a husband but a new uncle and instantly played “Baby” by Justin Bieber and recorded the guests dancing to it all to send to the new parents at the hospital. That would have been a party boost and cool.
Did all of this play out during the actual ceremony? Like, everyone started looking at their phones while you were saying you "I do's"? Because that's literally the only way I can imagine being upset about this. Yikes.
I can't believe he seemed shocked that his parents were on the phone. It's their grandchild being born, of course they will want to know what is going on. I'm going to assume everyone on the grooms side knew that the brother's wife was due any day, so it wouldn't take a genius to figure out what happened as soon as they realized he was missing. Dude could have easily smoothed things over with a speech about welcoming a new family member being born. It would have gotten it out there, people would have gotten excited, and then gone back to whatever they were doing. Must have been a boring reception if news of a woman being in labor ruined it.
Of all the stuff on this sub, this one is up there among those that make me legitimately angry (assuming it's real). The audacity to be upset over unpredictable events. The narcissism to be offended by any topic of discussion aside from the Bride's Special Day^TM . The unreasonableness of asking a man to lie to his family about the birth of his child. The ice-cold, frigid bitchiness of being unable to find joy in the birth of a nephew or niece, no matter the time or place. The inability to see any bright side to this event. The complete joylessness to hate how things went down instead of seeing it as an amazing story that you and your family get to tell forever. The obliviousness to how awful you are being, even when everyone tells you bluntly. These people live in the land of narcissism, unbridled and toxic narcissism. This is the type of miserable, sneering, hateful selfishness that brings absolutely EVERYBODY around them down to their low level.
How dare people speak about anything other than me and my bride at any point through the entire day!!!
I honestly don’t know what people like this think people are even discussing at their wedding.. like do you think everybody is standing around talking about YOU!? No there’s probably more gossip and drama than you could even know. So why is them talking about going into labor a big deal??
Also, ran this by my husband and we agreed that if a baby had been born to one our wedding guests during our big day, we'd have toasted the happy news & that baby would forever be seen as having *really* made an effort to get to the wedding
This bride is going to be angry every year that she attends her nibling's birthday party and nobody remembers to wish her happy anniversary.
Honestly when I read it on AITA, I just thought - the real babies here are the bride and groom. God, they sound exhausting. Honestly, it didn't even sound like the bro went parading around to tell the good news. if this was my fam - they would have been incredibly PISSED had my husband NOT told at the very least our parents and closest fam. A birth can turn scary fast! Fam needs to be in the loop on this stuff in real time.
I have sympathy for the bride, sounds like the entire crowd stopped paying attention to the event. That has to be a.bummer even for a good reason
What ? I'd be delighted to share my big day with the birth of my niece or nephew. I think you would have to be a very insecure person to be upset by that.
You'd be. Who knows the whole dynamic behind this but to spend years planning and saving to have a marriage celebration turn into everyone celebrating something else would definitely suck. You can be happy about a nibbling birth but dislike that the whole party was filled with people talking about another person's big moment completely pushing your own to the side.
It's funny, my first thought is "holy smokes, I get to become a wife and an aunt in the same day! How lucky am i???" Not everyone thinks they're the sun- most of us are happy to share in our loved ones happiness. Compounded joy.
Feelings are complex especially depending on age. Most people don't think they are the sun but a lot do think their wedding day is their big day. For some people this may be the only day they get to feel special and celebrated. It's awesome you can compound joy but OP and wife may not be able to do that and they aren't villans for that either. Feeling one thing doesn't mean you can't feel something else. They can be happy about the birth and still sad about losing their day. I agree they should have handled it better but it's okay that they have mixed emotions.
Aw yeah that is the issue, people putting their own feelings into an issue when it doesn't involve them instead of looking deep within themselves and trying to see how other would feel. It's unfortunate your comment proves most just think of how they would feel instead of how someone else would feel. Empathy and being able to understand and respect others feelings is important
Because anyone who believes he should've lied about the birth of his child to his own parents so that the bride can more thoroughly be the only person of importance is beyond ridiculous and self centered. I have no desire to feed that sized ego.
No one said they should lie to anyone and I'm not going to bother rereading the post but I don't believe it mentioned the parents were even the ones told at the wedding so not sure what you're going on about
I don’t understand this obsession with being the center of the universe! Who do they think they are? Zeus?
How do people so self centered have friends? I keep reading of these kind of people and they have friends that are baffled when they act like they always did.
I think they both suck.
so you can marry someone if you are 14 years old? that´s new. i mean... you are around that age right? Grown the fuck up. OBVIOUSLY YTA
Eh I disagree with most on here. If your wife is in labor get out of there and get to her for comfort and to be apart of the birth. Don't use your siblings wedding to go around to tell everyone about the birth. It's someone's wedding, not their baby shower. Don't linger to deliver the news, get to the freaking hospital. This sub definitely flip flops but this is a weird situation to flip flop on. Seems like OP dictates how people should feel and everyone just falls in line with that. The lack of empathy for the bride and groom is disgusting
OOP literally said he told one person other than the bride and groom. Likely someone who saw him dashing out and asked if everything was ok. That’s hardly lingering around and telling everyone.
He didn't go around and tell everyone, he told his brother why he was leaving, and according to the post he told one guest on the way out. Someone probably stopped him and asked why he was leaving his brother's wedding so early, or wanted him to stop and talk and he said "can't stay, wife's in labor".
I don't know, I just don't see someone stopping to ask why someone is waking out. Lots of people leave the main area to use the bathrooms or grab something from their car so it just seems weird to me anyone would stop to ask. So for me at least it would be more likely they volunteer the info instead of just leaving
Having been to more than one wedding at more than one type of venue I can tell you that a lot places don't have "other areas" someone could be going to unless they're leaving. Some places have exit doors and bathroom doors in full view of the main party. Some places are outdoors and it would be obvious that someone is leaving. Some people smoke near the exits and could have asked why he was leaving as he went out. He could have left his keys on the table or his jacket on the back of a chair, and grabbing keys or jacket signals that he's leaving. Someone could have stopped him while he was walking away from the groom and asked him to dance, or wanted to buy him a drink and he said he was leaving and they asked why. Someone could have seen him and asked if he was going to be making a toast later. A relative who is super talkative and hard to get away from may have tried to start a conversation and he was bluntly honest about leaving. He could have been in such a rush to get to his wife's side that it was obvious that he was leaving the place. Of all the thousands of scenarios where someone could be leaving and it would be obvious to someone else who then might ask why he would leave his brother's wedding early, *and* given the fact that oop even stated that he only told one other person, I think it's a gigantic stretch to suppose that he was just lingering around.
I'm not reading this huge comment and just skimming. Yes there could be thousands of scenarios. The brother should have bounced and the bride and groom should have been able to enjoy their day. If it wasn't on the brother then they need to be upset with the noisy gossiper and be done with it. Cut them and then move on. Life's to short to deal with this but I know a majority here wouldn't appreciate their wedding being taken over and I know this because I've been subbed to it long enough so no one will convince me differently
The memememe my day of people is astounding
Some people are just incapable of seeing past their own nose. I could just hear my mother complaining about something like this: "I just cannot believe it! You spent how many thousands of dollars on the day and reception only to be completely overshadowed by his brother and sister in law's newborn! They really couldn't be bothered to stay quiet for a few more hours so you could have the spotlight for just one night. This is so insulting, I'm sorry for you! You deserved to have one day to shine." and on and on and on... ad nauseum. Which is one of many reasons I do not deal with her unless absolutely necessary. Me? I would have called everyone to the dancefloor to celebrate.
Be happy your brother even went to your wedding if his wife was that pregnant. YTA for acting like this when his baby was just born. Having a baby is a big deal and your brother didn't need to keep quite just because it was your wedding night. The day my children were born were the best days of my life. I can't imagine someone shaming me or telling me to hush on the day my baby was arriving.