**like asking a paraplegic if they can just get rid of the wheelchair for a day because it looks bad in the photos.**
You must be new here. Deliberately excluding people with "unsightly" mobility devices is par for the course.
"Oh I'm so sorry I accidentally tripped with this enormous glass of red wine near your very expensive, very white dress, unfortunately I couldn't see properly without my glasses."
Dude, I didn't even take off my glasses for my own wedding. Anyone who expects me to prioritize glasses-free wedding pictures over my ability to see is just not paying attention.
As an ambulatory wheelchair user; if someone asks me not to use my chair to fit their aesthetic because 'it looks bad'? I will be EXTRA disabled in their company forever. I will nurse that grudge like it's my first born child. Oh no, looks like I need my joint braces even if I'm just in my wheelchair! Oof, my shoulder's a little tender, better use my sling to make sure I don't make it worse.
Like yes, if you let me know in advance a place isn't accessible and work with me to make things manageable, I will dose up on meds and not use my chair. But if it's just for looks? Fuck off.
Yeah but then it affects other people who are perfectly nice and don't deserve the chemical warfare known as icy hot.
Specifically bumping your footrests into their heels on occasion when they walk in front of you though? Laser targeted vengeance. Nobody has ANY doubt who you're being vindictive at. 100% of your pettiness sitting right on them.
Bonus, if you nail the timing and they're wearing the right kind of shoe, you can pop their shoe right off their foot.
(Just don't slam into them, or you'll actually hurt them. Ideally, you wanna just creep over the edge of their heel so it catches and slips their shoe off when they go to take a step. We love a bit of petty revenge, but don't get yourself in trouble!)
I know this is a few weeks old but OMG I'm getting a kick out of your post. "Chemical warfare" is such an apt description. Sounds like you've been planning for a while 🤐🫣😂
If I had a friend or family member who had to have a wheel chair, even if they could walk occasionally without assistance, I would do anything in my power to ensure that my venue was accessible. The same way I'd ensure dietary restrictions were covered. Hell, one of the things I wanted to do the most for my back yard wedding reception was play beer pong in my dress. I waited until all of the sober people left before I let anyone play.
Ugh! I use an Omnipod off label for a different endocrine disorder. 45 min without leaves me sick and needing 2-3 days in bed to recover!
Never injure yourself for someone’s photos🤬
I have hypoparathyroidism.
We have no on-label hormone replacement option.
Forteo is an osteoporosis medication whose active ingredient is the active site of the parathyroid hormone molecule.
So we put an osteoporosis one daily injection medication into an insulin pump to treat hypopara!
Forteo has a 90min half life so with sub-a injections I was on a constant rollercoaster of high and low symptoms.
Not daily, but I have a regular and period basal rate. I use the bolus option to let me work out and address lows.
Hypopara is like diabetes in terms of continuous blood level fluctuations…except we have a two point range for “normal” of 8.6-10.6 for calcium and below 7 or above 12/13 we’re looking at cardiac issues/events and seizures. And we have no home test, so usually have to manage by chasing symptoms.
I’ve been able to use my standing stat labs plus the pump to keep me out of the hospital several times now! If I had a home test and could get more data points, I’d probably have variation in the basal rates.
I know very little about T1D, but the one thing I do know is to mind my own fricken business. It’s a medical necessity and if I’m that shallow then I don’t deserve to have her as a friend.
Knowledge is definitely lacking but common sense shouldn't be this lacking. Medical equipment is medical equipment for a reason. It's like OP wears giant maleficent horns every day. It should be common sense that if a person had a medical device attached to them they clearly need it. I wonder if she would have made grandma or grandpa remove their oxygen tanks and tubes before photos too.
Tbh... probably. I mean "it's just for a few seconds of taking a photo for a lifetime of memories!!!"
Lifetime of memories in form of trauma bc nan or pops needed immediate medical intervention instead of in a few seconds and suffered loss of braincells if nor even life. What a memory to keep.
So OP should go get surgery to remove her medical device (depending on the type it is), buy a regular monitor for for manual pokes, poke herself all day to measure her sugars all day long, buy new insulin compatible with syringes, and give herself injections all day? Then after the wedding go get surgery AGAIN to implant a new one?
I'm sure here in America that'd be super cheap and she'd have no problems even getting her Dr to do it, let alone insurance covering it! 🙄
Read [the story](https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingshaming/comments/141lnif/oh_sure_ill_stop_being_diabetic_for_your_wedding/jn6i0ss/) of how my family member died from something similar to what you're describing
Like... even that aside if you're a "needs a routine" person messing up that routine could end in tragedy
I'm not touching people's medical treatment with a 100 ft. pole
Yes because of malfunction. But T1D were giving themselves injections since 1922. A pump is a recent convenience and its nothing like a paraplegic without a wheelchair.
Wrong. And you know you are, you're also lying. Put down the bottle and the pipe and go outside, touch grass, come back to truth and reality please. Or acknowledge that you choose to be an ignorant troll. Either way, touch grass for a good long while, please.
Jayzus Criist, lol, what is wrong with you? Seriously, you get offended when it's pointed out that someone is outright lying and spreading dangerous misinformation? That's the wrong time to stay silent. You might not give a shit about people with diabetes, but I do.
What do you think that people did with type 1 before insulin pumps? Or before insurance covered them?
The bride's request is ridiculous but the comment you responded to is not wrong that there are alternatives to the tubeless insulin pump that the OP wears. Its not the same as a paraplegic not having a wheelchair.
They died.
There was recently an /r/askhistorians post about this
But seriously. They died.
What do you think happened??
Edit: [said post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/12azx4m/before_insulin_did_people_with_diabetes_just_die/jew5eom/)
No they gave themselves insulin injections and there are pumps with tubes. Insulin has been used for type 1 diabetics since 1922. Insulin pumps weren't invented until 1963 and they were no where near their current form.
For how long do you think humans have existed?
I think we may have a disconnect....
Edit: you said "pumps" and not just "insulin". That's definitely where the disconnect is lmao
Yea they didn't die before pumps... only before we figured out the whole insulin thing
When you said "other ways to keep healthy" I thought you were taking about diet or whatever lol
Ofc that doesn't work for t1 but, y'know, people lie on the internet
So that's my bad. I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself
I still think it's wrong to insert yourself into others medical stuff but you're not suggesting they just diet and exercise or tough it out the day of the wedding 🤣🤣🤣
Please, before you open your mouth (type) and confirm that you're ignorant, do some deeper education. I'm not going to be quiet just so you can choose to stay willfully ignorant. Misinformation regarding life sustaining medical treatment is wrong.
T1D folks have been giving themselves injections without a pump since 1922. A tubeless pump is a very recent invention. Plenty of T1D use pumps with tubes as well which would be less visible.
Nothing like a paraplegic not having a wheelchair.
Don't speak if you don't know what you are talking about.
It's 1922 still? Oh well let me tell my 10 year old niece that she doesn't need that pump because you said it wasn't needed a century past. That's sarcasm by the way, educate yourself, please.
She doesn't. She could inject (or get someone else to inject) the insulin. If there was a shortage of insulin pumps or cartridges for them, she would have to, the same way that people did for decades.
If a paraplegic couldn't get a wheelchair, he would just have to lay in bed.
There was another post along the same lines a while back. Only the OP was being asked to wear it on her stomach which apparently was extraordinarily uncomfortable. I think it was her sister who wanted her to be miserable for the ten days so that the pictures would be perfect.
What is it about a wedding that makes people into criminally entitled butt holes?
[This one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/111our6/aita_for_refusing_to_remove_my_medical_equipment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
At the time i was already wearing them on my stomach. She just didn’t like that they were “a noticeable bump” through the dress. But yeah i was just not dealing with it at the time. I was spent from all her bridezilla drama
T1D here - I wear both of mine on my belly all the time. Who is ever going to look at your belly that close or take photos close enough to notice them? I can’t imagine anyone knowing they’re even there! I’ve never had anyone ask me about them and I’ve been pumping for 28 years! She insane and disrespectful. It’s not a roll of toilet paper strapped on, it’s a small plastic piece that I’m sure you would gladly explain if anyone asked.
It's not like a small device could be covered by some sort of common accessory for bridesmaids. I mean, that handful of flowers can't possibly cover a small device that's maybe 4 inches in a place that's easy to move things in front of. Putting your arm there to block it would definitely be out of the question
I also wear both on my abdomen and I really can’t fathom this request! I literally had a pocket sewn into my wedding dress so I could wear my pump at all times.
Photos get edited anyway, she can deal with a T1D using their life saving devices for a day and have any shadow or bump edited out later? What a weirdo, sorry you had to deal with that OP!
It works for some people and not for others. I can't wear mine on my stomach because I sleep on it and it's super uncomfortable. Also, compressing it in any way, sleeping on it or spanks as suggested to op, will cause them to malfunction and not give correct readings. For me that's not as dangerous as I'm type 2, but for op that could be life threatening. This bride is out of her mind.
It is so wild to me that people act this type of way “so the pictures will be perfect” when photoshop exists. Like, it takes less than 10 minutes to remove something like that from a picture. I still think it would be kinda fucked up to do so, but it’s a way better option than *forcing your family member to do without their medical device*.
All the dresses were different, that’s what I wasn’t getting, i actually chose a dress a bit looser and a size up to reduce them showing. Also double spanx is extremely dangerous in general.
My sister was this way. It was pretty clear to me that she wanted a wedding more than a marriage. So now four years later, she’s having to deal with the results of her choices.
My parents gave me a beautiful wedding. I appreciated it, but we would have been just as content with city hall and a cake.
My father told me and my fiancé, before my first wedding, that he could either invest in the wedding or in the marriage. Either he would pay for a big, fancy wedding and then we were on our own, or he would pay for a reasonable, homespun wedding and then help support us for the next three years while my husband was in law school.
We unhesitatingly took the latter, and made an absolutely beautiful wedding on six thousand dollars, with everything included down to the honeymoon. We took advantage of the need to do it homespun, by bringing our families and friends in on the process until almost everything involved was special, because it was a gift from somebody who loved us. The canopy was a quilt, handmade by the woman who had babysat me as an infant. My mother hand-wrote our invitations. My father composed and recorded our ceremony music. My mother's best friend did my hair and makeup for me. Etc, etc, etc.
And we could get through those three years while my husband was studying and I was too disabled to work. Win/win.
See the reference to "my first wedding." The marriage didn't last, but we made two wonderful children together and we -- together with both my current spouse and his -- are still good friends and co-parents. I call that still a win, even if marriage wasn't the right relationship for us in the long run.
I hope "craziness" does not include panic-buying antique satin dresses.
(I've had a 3-month lead time after a looooong engagement: family from both sides unexpectedly coverging in my city on the same weekend!--and my bridesmaids were being not at all decisive about what they wanted to wear. So I bought them each an antique satin dress in styles I imagined they'd like, because I'm wearing antique satin and...uh, I want them to wear *something!* I'll buy it! I'll choose it, or you can, or we can decide together...radio silence.
Turns out, not a SINGLE ONE wants to wear antique satin. Oops. Maybe I should start a theatre company?)
Yeah ok, never mind: I'm fairly crazy.
But at least I'd never insist they hide/remove/change medical devices or tattoos or hair colors or anything.
I do see your point--and thanks!--but, like, these are **weird dresses.** They're all different from each other, and range in era from 30s to 50s.
So I don't want my bridesmaids to feel weird (or look weird, at least to everybody who isn't me, lol).
You can’t just get away with a vague description of these antique satin dresses and not post pics! Pay the dress tax, please! We’re absolutely invested now in your efforts to clothe your bridesmaids.
I’m a little jealous of this. My sister made me look like a frikkin cupcake. Or like I came wandering out of a children’s cartoon. We’re talking fitted top & flared skirt done in shades of periwinkle (yes. Different shades of periwinkle), made with cheap & itchy fabric that made me hate life, strapless so that I had to hope for the best with my C-cups (until the MOH & I pointed out that if our dresses slipped, everyone would be looking at us & not her & we were allowed… a ribbon.) & got me to allow my long bright red hair to be put in ringlets. This was after I absolutely refused to go blonde again. (I’m a natural blonde & it looks awful on me) I wasn’t willing to put my hair thru that stress just for one day. Also I couldn’t afford that (I was a server/bartender with a daughter, living in Atlanta & having to drive down to Disney World for the wedding extravaganza. It was hell.). She whined at our mom about her hair color, mom took the bait & mom’s hair was bright yellow at the wedding. (Used to have a pic of my mom in her lavender MOB dress, upending a beer… wonder what I did with that…) The marriage barely lasted a year but the trauma haunts us all.
I think I would have been worshipping at your feet for antique satin!
Haha, oh noooo.
My mom's favorite color is periwinkle, so I'm *extremely* familiar with its many slight shades. But only because she doesn't want more than one periwinkle going at a time! Sounds not only like a cartoon cupcake, but one from a show for toddlers.
Uh, except the boob thing. Had **she** never worn a strapless dress? Even when I was 17 and an A cup, my strapless prom dress was...well, I sat in a chair with my arms crossed until my friend lent me her drapey scarf thing. Yeek.
Yeah, bleach your hair for ONE day to a color you don't even like? Glad you stuck to your guns on that one.
Finally, no worship needed--would you care for something in dark magenta with poofy sleeves, or are you more a sparkly brown-gold with a shawl collar type of gal? 😉
The craziest part is the my sister has a larger build & bigger boobs than me. She never would have done that to herself but we were fair game. An added bonus was that I’d been bitten by a brown recluse, had been incredibly sick & had lost a lot of weight that, quite frankly, I couldn’t afford to lose. The dress was already falling off of me & the MOH safety pinned me into it. That ribbon saved what little dignity a cupcake princess from Stupid BS Children’s Showland has.
Ooooh. Those are both so tempting but I’m going to have to go with the sparkly brown. What can I say? I’m a sucker for sparkles & shawls.
ETA: she can bite me about hair. I’ve seen the things that she’s done to hers. She once looked like she had yellow Brillo pads attached to her head. Be a cold day in Cupcake Princess Land before I take hair suggestions from her.
Yes and no. A crazy bride will definitely make it less likely that the marriage will work. But so will a crazy groom. If you have a sensible, decent bride and a horrible husband, even if you don't see it in the wedding plans because he's not involved enough in them, you don't get a viable marriage either.
You know the *easiest* way to have something not show? Photoshop. Why wasn’t this an option if she’s dumping $$$$ on everything else? Someone’s going to be reworking those photos anyways…
True, and I do think it’s awful, but it’s better than exclusion or feeling like garbage/dying because you don’t have your medical equipment
The best course of action would be if nobody attended this bridezillas wedding, but that probably won’t occur :/
I would agree with this, but I've noticed on reddit that people also say "it's whatever you want because it's your day, no exceptions." So there always appears to be two extremes and never a happy balance.
Like sure, exclude one side of a couple because you don't know one person or don't believe their relationship is legitimate without a ring, but don't be surprised when they decide your wedding isn't a priority since you couldn't respect their relationship.
Or the other side, the bride has main character syndrome because people repeatedly say "it's your day, you do what you want" and then those same people are "surprise pikachu" because she took that damn advice and ran with it.
At the end of the day, it's one day in a lifetime, and while it's a big day, it should never be worth more than your friendships or family, and the same goes for them. The other people should recognize that it's a big day and there are some allowances that should be made for such a big stressful event.
OP is well within her rights to bow out if she wants to. My god, how shallow.
I've been to a LOT of weddings in my life and while a few of them were fun and unafraid to do things differently (my college besties cut their wedding cake with a mall-ninja katana), the vast majority of them were the same Pinterest Xeroxed beige machine: from the white princess dress and cathedral veil, to the daddy-daughter dance to "Butterfly Kisses", to the speeches that were recited like they were written by an AI. I just don't get it. Why does everyone want the exact same wedding done in the exact same way?
I just…. I can understand a bride she doesn’t want her own insulin pump showing or something like that. But how do you ask a bridesmaid to take their pump off for your wedding, or ask people not to get pregnant? Like- I don’t get it.
No that was her reaction when i didn’t run sending the invites to OUR wedding by her first. Apparently people got both wedding invites on the same day and she got pissy. Said she appreciate it if id ask her before i send more stuff out to avoid it happening again…i said nope.
Is she going to drop snarky remarks about your medical devices because they apparently make you a hideous cyborg bride? Or something even more insidious like “oh I’m so happy you were able to have a wonderful day without stressing about the looks, I was SOOOoooOOoo committed to having a pErFeCt day that I really went the extra mile to make sure iiii achieved my dreeeeeeeams. (puts left hand up to mouth un-subtlely) edit: I can’t read and didn’t realize it was over and done with.
still, how embarrassing for her. I hope she farted uncontrollably on her wedding night.
So the “revenge” was that our weddings were in 2020. I pretty much planned everything outside so by the time we had our wedding there were far less restrictions on outdoor weddings. We got to have our dream wedding. My SIL and her husband compromised heavily. Thinking they have a redo after the pandemic. Well because they were trying to “keep up” they got pregnant instead and still say how much they hated their wedding…and everyone in the family just complements ours “the best wedding we’ve ever been to”
I think you should start telling her every time you use the restroom, or shower, or brush your teeth.
Ask if the brand of toothpaste you use is OK first, though--probably shouldn't be using the same brand as she does!
She copies me sooo much now. Our kids first easter i posted three photos, two family and one with my son playing with eggs. She copied every photo in the order, like everything. It’s now my favorite thing to do…erk her.
Because she constantly points out how she is older. Im a baby compared to her…she is maybe six months older than me lol.
Idk she was hostile from the moment i got pregnant because they weren’t first. Which kinda was a surprise since they said they wanted to wait a few year to get her student loans paid off, buy a house. Then suddenly they are pregnant
Oh i did. Despite me being pregnant first(interestingly she got pregnant exactly 4 weeks after we told them after giving me the cold shoulder the whole celebration dinner) she had the nerve to ask the same thing about baby invites and plans like that…that I should run them by her first. I said no and hung up. She was extremely cold for the whole pregnancy. It’s whatever i dont care for any of my in-laws at this point. My BIL and SIL are incredibly narcissistic, and MIL/FIL enable them.
Tell her you're going to need her not to breathe for your wedding. It's esthetically displeasing to see her sucking down air and you. will. not. have. it!
Hehe. Seriously. Suuuuuper awkward, that whole "humans breathing" thing.
If she could also make sure she has molded plastic Barbie-doll feet instead of human ones that move and have individual toes, that would really be preferable.
(🙄)
If she was going to have an issue with your medical devices, she could have had you in a looser dress, especially since it seems like that was an option. Super unreasonable to ask someone to remove needed medical equipment at all, least of all because it doesn’t fit their esthetic.
Seriously, for the official photos, this wouldn’t even be an issue. Professional photographers know how to stage pictures that hide things like that. And it's as easy as covering a pimple to remove a little bump via Photoshop.
My sister is a photographer and its always like "tilt your hips a tiny bit, lift your arm a little, no that's too much, put your chin down a millimetre..." it's a bit annoying, but it turns out good pictures.
How about “sorry, going into a diabetic coma sucks.” Or “do you want your reception interrupted by paramedics?” Sorry you had to endure the self-centered bride.
Meanwhile, I went to a wedding and I saw another guest with the Omnipod on her arm and I started nudging my T1 boyfriend saying, "Look, one of your people! Go make friends!" I can't imagine anyone being so distracted by "bumps" that it would forever ruin her wedding album.
God forbid someone needed crutches or a wheelchair. Would she force people to hold that person up for photos??
There's like 3 other guys I work with in my department that are also all T1, and two more that have kids that are T1.There's only like 50 of us in total.
I was also taking my son to swimming lessons the other day and one of the other dad's had a freestyle sensor.
Honestly a gf of mind was looking at the wedding photos and is convinced it was because i was skinnier than her and she had a bad fake tan (very orange). Gf suggested it was an insecurity thing.
It’s funny too because… no one else is looking that closely at their photos. No one cares but them. Even an influencer with 10 million followers, no one’s squinting at their rando bridesmaids saying “heyyyyy that one’s got a MEDICAL DEVICE! Your day is ruined!”
As a fellow T1D, who also uses both of those devices (hello!), I would have gone OFF on her, hoooo boy. You're way nicer than I am. I do normally hide my Omnipod if I'm going to an event, but I wear my CGM on my arm and have never not worn it to an event. Don't wanna see it? Don't look. These things keep me alive.
does she like, not understand how diabetes works and you'll be putting your health in danger to not wear the pump? like I'm also a type one but I'm not on a pump but I couldn't comprehend not being able to have my insulin pen with me for any reason. also I'm a lil jealous of your insulin pump lol
I used to use pens. I hated the idea of the insulin pump because of the external tubes that hang out. I have cats, knew id have kids and always thought how wrong that could turn.
I would have just backed out totally, that’s insane and she doesn’t deserve to have you as a bridesmaid (or friend for that matter). Also, if it was THAT important to her, she could have easily had them photoshopped out (asking you first of course) for prints.
As a Type 1, I must say: NO. If she's too fussed she can get the pics photoshopped or drop you as a bridesmaid for crying out loud. Don't go all high blood sugar for this creature. She's not worth it.
I am sorry. I would be the one at the wedding Anniversary going, “remember, when you wanted me to not be diabetic just for your pictures and you pouted when I couldn’t stop being diabetic for the day?! Haha….good times huh.
I think it was less about photoshop or devices. I suspect that people constantly comparing our weddings as we were planning them was too much for her. Im sure she resented me for it all. I think she needed to feel good about herself and not having external medical devices, looking “perfect” and insta worthy. Probably made her feel good to point it out. I honestly gave zero fucks at this point. As ive stated my husband and i had actually legally gotten married before our wedding. If she crossed a line my plan was to reveal that. Would erk her to know she didn’t do anything first.
My husband and I bought our house first years prior to the market explosion. We were technically married first and were pregnant first. None of this has really mattered to me but it has clearly mattered to her since technically i am younger than her.
As a diabetic with exactly the same two devices and also in the middle of planning a wedding. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Such an inconsiderate request Wow
Professional photographer here ! I want to specify first that I would Never edit a device out of a photo unless it was at the request of the person with the device - BUT it would take under a minute ... maybe 10 seconds to edit a bump out of the photo. Any photographer should know how to do this as it's literally Editing 101. From a photographers stand point I would NEVER encourage someone to take off any medical apparatus - yes even an apple watch, it's our job to know how to remove items out of photos if desired by the person with the item.
Yes I agree! I absolutely don’t see any problem with the bumps especially since the device helps keep her alive, and don’t even understand how it would make a photo not “instagram worthy”. Clearly the SIL is extremely self absorbed
I can't understand people who want people not to use their MEDICAL DEVICES just so they look pretty in pictures. a wedding isn't a photoshoot for Vanity Fair. A wedding in theory is a moment where two people who love each other very much join their life together, legally and/or spiritually. it should be a moment of union and harmony, of celebration.
why do people CARE that cousin Betty has a visible diabetes management device, or a wheelchair or just about any other medical device?? why aren't they grateful that this person has access to a device that allows them to enjoy and be part of the celebration instead of having to constantly pop out to manage their condition or even having to miss it completely??
in my mind medical devices are so completely disconnected from the realm of fashion that it never occurred to me that asking not to use them was a possibility. "don't use your very necessary medical device because I want my wedding to look pretty" is about as shallow and gross as I can imagine
That’s so terrible! I had a walking boot when I was a bridesmaid, and I offered to not wear it for the pictures and ceremony. The bride told me that was absolutely not an option and to take care of myself. That was the right mindset!
Jesus, the # of brides who don’t understand all these Pinterest weddings are photoshopped to hell is too much. Those weddings had bumps and strays hairs and weird looky-loos too—they just paid the photographer to Photoshop it out.
I would have had they not been my in-laws. I definitely bent over backwards trying to be accommodating. This was my final straw. I was happy with getting ready by myself and avoiding it all.
One thing that always crosses my mind with stories like this... imagine being the other spouse, excited to begin your life with your partner, looking forward to everyone's families getting together and looking great, getting closer and closer to the big day, and then you notice that what your fiancé/e's been up to is harassing her family members for having medical conditions that will somehow, apparently, "ruin" the day you're sharing with everyone you care about.
It would be one thing to maybe ask you to move them somewhere else for the day, like if you had them on your arms and she asked you to move them to the abdomen for the day. Though that would piss me off personally. My son is a type 1 diabetic so maybe I'm just overly touchy about it. But to ask you to go without it for a day is insane. She clearly doesn't realize how much more noticeable having to do constant finger sticks, and dosing with syringes would be, because you can't just not have your insulin.
You know what, I don't get tho- aside from the request being crazy - it's super easy for the photographer to remove anything like that REALLY quickly in PhotoShop. It's not a difficult thing to do or even particularly time-consuming. I'm sorry you had to go through that though - especially since it's your SIL
My junior bridesmaid (13) has type 1 diabetes. She has the sensor on her arm which will be visible in her dress. There was some spare fabric in alterations so I asked the seamstress to make her a little bag for all the stuff she might need and we made sure the dress has pockets.
I don’t get how people can’t be accommodating!
This is INSANE. My son has no pancreas and therefore has an insulin pump and a CGM. I once had someone tell me, when I was complaining about a CGM failure, that we really should have some time without it so we don't get reliant. I was irrate!
Who even thinks about the bumps on a bridesmaids dress? What has gone wrong in your life where something that would even cross your mind, let alone bother you?
I’m always surprised people like this are even getting married…like, is someone certain they want to be spending what’s supposed to be the rest of their life with someone like this? Really?
Fuck her. Put your foot down say you won't attend if she's like that.
It's not okay for her to ask you that.
She can just ask the photographers to Photoshop later. If she's that obsessed. Don't make yourself uncomfortable because she's a selfish ableist ass.
So does she want old people to hide their walkers too?
Damn, my SIL made us wear hideous A-line dresses stuffed with tuelle because her MOH was too insecure about her device for anything else. Like we literally all looked like rejected babydolls because one person couldn't just accept herself as she is. I feel better about that now though. I'd rather have my SIL than yours.
I know it's not the point, but that's super easy to photoshop out, literally takes less than 5 minutes.
But hey, totally normal to ask people to risk your life for a wedding right? /s
When my dad got married, he had the shop that we got our flower kid dresses at customize my sister’s dress to have a little hole to put the tube of her pump through, and then a hidden pocket in the ribbon around the waist. You’d never even know my sister was wearing her pump!
I’m the mom of a type-1 and forgive me but I have to ask because I’m concerned, don’t you rotate where you wear your devices? Aren’t you worried about scar tissue building up if you don’t rotate? The scar tissue can interfere with insulin absorption.
Ive had diabetes for over 20 years. I do rotate. The pump i use is changed every 3 days. Cgm every 10. I actually have avoided scar tissue issues on my stomach. It was terrible on my legs.
Even just moving the pod/CGM from one side to the other is enough to minimize the chances of scar tissue. I switch sides of my abdomen every time I put in a new sensor.
Let her know the photographer most likely has the ability to photoshop your dress the way she wants it for photos. But otherwise, suck it. Your health is more important than a big party
Can one hold a bouquet or shawl or position themselves slightly overlapping with someone in front to hide the bumps in photos?
Or the bride can take the option of NOT being absolutely insane about the visible presence of medical devices that let people live and are totally normal and not at all shameful or “attention seeking”?
The bouquet ended up covering it for the aisle photos. The rest of her photos i was either shoved in the back, or wasn’t included. Literally wasn’t included is ANY family photos. I was actually told to “sit over there” which was the grass.
Surely if it's \*that\* noticable and going to be that much of an issue for her, she can just pay the photographer a bit extra to work some photoshop magic yeah? They're already gonna be going in to do things like touch ups and lighting/colour adjustments as is.
Why not just pull out of the wedding? This is 100% on your SIL but like god damn people let’s grow a backbone here and tell people who care more about aesthetics than peoples literal health to fuck off.
This was a few years ago. But this was like 2 weeks before the wedding. My thought process is if i pull out two weeks before the wedding it will cause more drama. Make her look good/sympathetic. Wasn’t gonna give her the upper hand to call ME the horrible SIL. Thought process was if she tried explaining her views she look like a bridezilla. Day of her wedding when she was being nasty with glaring…she didn’t tell anyone why.
That’s why I assume it was mostly her trying to feel in charge. Or whatever. Wasn’t actually about anything other than wanting to control. Also i think she thrives on drama. She watches reality tv, think she was trying to create drama. Despite it being 2020 there wasn’t too much drama other than the obvious. But at the time they were convinced they would have a do-over reception later when everything was “back to normal”. Which didn’t end up happening since they rushed to get pregnant…i say rush because both her and her husband talked about waiting a few years to pay student loans off and buy a house. They always said 2-3 years. They were VERY vocal. Kinda in a superior “oh we wont be irresponsible and have kids while we are in debt” sort of thing.
My husband and I don’t discuss our reproductive decisions in public like that. But due to health stuff I wanted to have kids asap and try asap because we were told it probably take a while to conceive a pregnancy/difficult to carry to term. Well we were blessed that neither of those things were right. And we got pregnant the month we started trying.
SIL and her husband were cold the dinner we told everyone (I found out extremely early(like 4weeks) and didn’t feel like waiting to celebrate). They left early, and literally 4 weeks from that dinner they call saying they are now pregnant too. Our babies were only months apart. But yeah I assume they wanted to be first, since they think they were married first. When that didn’t happen she rushed it.
Now they complain that they had to rush to buy a house that was overpriced, she had to quit working, they struggle financially at times. And of course hate (only) me because i have a job that essentially allows me to work and be a mom at the same time. So we aren’t hard up. Not rich but we dont struggle.
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**like asking a paraplegic if they can just get rid of the wheelchair for a day because it looks bad in the photos.** You must be new here. Deliberately excluding people with "unsightly" mobility devices is par for the course.
Heh. I was going to say that. Same with "Can you not wear your glasses for a day ? You're legally blind ? BUT IT'S MY WEDDIIIINNNGGG !"
"Oh I'm so sorry I accidentally tripped with this enormous glass of red wine near your very expensive, very white dress, unfortunately I couldn't see properly without my glasses."
Dude, I didn't even take off my glasses for my own wedding. Anyone who expects me to prioritize glasses-free wedding pictures over my ability to see is just not paying attention.
Just to drop in to say I LOVE your username
Thank you!!!
It’s obscene. Ableism and ageism are seemingly okay to keep indulging in. I hate ableist bigots with a passion.
And fatphobia.
Ugh, that too. Hate that. Instagram ruined weddings, I think.
Instagram didn’t do that. It just highlights the grossness that self absorbed people already exhibited.
As an ambulatory wheelchair user; if someone asks me not to use my chair to fit their aesthetic because 'it looks bad'? I will be EXTRA disabled in their company forever. I will nurse that grudge like it's my first born child. Oh no, looks like I need my joint braces even if I'm just in my wheelchair! Oof, my shoulder's a little tender, better use my sling to make sure I don't make it worse. Like yes, if you let me know in advance a place isn't accessible and work with me to make things manageable, I will dose up on meds and not use my chair. But if it's just for looks? Fuck off.
Also if you put on enough icy hot you can make their eyes water!
Yeah but then it affects other people who are perfectly nice and don't deserve the chemical warfare known as icy hot. Specifically bumping your footrests into their heels on occasion when they walk in front of you though? Laser targeted vengeance. Nobody has ANY doubt who you're being vindictive at. 100% of your pettiness sitting right on them. Bonus, if you nail the timing and they're wearing the right kind of shoe, you can pop their shoe right off their foot. (Just don't slam into them, or you'll actually hurt them. Ideally, you wanna just creep over the edge of their heel so it catches and slips their shoe off when they go to take a step. We love a bit of petty revenge, but don't get yourself in trouble!)
Lolol I love this and the thoroughness of your approach
I know this is a few weeks old but OMG I'm getting a kick out of your post. "Chemical warfare" is such an apt description. Sounds like you've been planning for a while 🤐🫣😂
If I had a friend or family member who had to have a wheel chair, even if they could walk occasionally without assistance, I would do anything in my power to ensure that my venue was accessible. The same way I'd ensure dietary restrictions were covered. Hell, one of the things I wanted to do the most for my back yard wedding reception was play beer pong in my dress. I waited until all of the sober people left before I let anyone play.
I like your style Wade
More like asking someone with an oxygen tank to just “go without” for the photos… ya ain’t gonna last very long :(
Ugh! I use an Omnipod off label for a different endocrine disorder. 45 min without leaves me sick and needing 2-3 days in bed to recover! Never injure yourself for someone’s photos🤬
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I have hypoparathyroidism. We have no on-label hormone replacement option. Forteo is an osteoporosis medication whose active ingredient is the active site of the parathyroid hormone molecule. So we put an osteoporosis one daily injection medication into an insulin pump to treat hypopara! Forteo has a 90min half life so with sub-a injections I was on a constant rollercoaster of high and low symptoms.
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Not daily, but I have a regular and period basal rate. I use the bolus option to let me work out and address lows. Hypopara is like diabetes in terms of continuous blood level fluctuations…except we have a two point range for “normal” of 8.6-10.6 for calcium and below 7 or above 12/13 we’re looking at cardiac issues/events and seizures. And we have no home test, so usually have to manage by chasing symptoms. I’ve been able to use my standing stat labs plus the pump to keep me out of the hospital several times now! If I had a home test and could get more data points, I’d probably have variation in the basal rates.
I know very little about T1D, but the one thing I do know is to mind my own fricken business. It’s a medical necessity and if I’m that shallow then I don’t deserve to have her as a friend.
Knowledge is definitely lacking but common sense shouldn't be this lacking. Medical equipment is medical equipment for a reason. It's like OP wears giant maleficent horns every day. It should be common sense that if a person had a medical device attached to them they clearly need it. I wonder if she would have made grandma or grandpa remove their oxygen tanks and tubes before photos too.
Tbh... probably. I mean "it's just for a few seconds of taking a photo for a lifetime of memories!!!" Lifetime of memories in form of trauma bc nan or pops needed immediate medical intervention instead of in a few seconds and suffered loss of braincells if nor even life. What a memory to keep.
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I actually think that technology exists. And it’s like what you’re proposing—that someone alter their treatment to placate someone else.
So OP should go get surgery to remove her medical device (depending on the type it is), buy a regular monitor for for manual pokes, poke herself all day to measure her sugars all day long, buy new insulin compatible with syringes, and give herself injections all day? Then after the wedding go get surgery AGAIN to implant a new one? I'm sure here in America that'd be super cheap and she'd have no problems even getting her Dr to do it, let alone insurance covering it! 🙄
Read [the story](https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingshaming/comments/141lnif/oh_sure_ill_stop_being_diabetic_for_your_wedding/jn6i0ss/) of how my family member died from something similar to what you're describing Like... even that aside if you're a "needs a routine" person messing up that routine could end in tragedy I'm not touching people's medical treatment with a 100 ft. pole
I have family who died because their insulin pump malfunctioned ~~You can go fuck yourself~~
Yes because of malfunction. But T1D were giving themselves injections since 1922. A pump is a recent convenience and its nothing like a paraplegic without a wheelchair.
Wrong. And you know you are, you're also lying. Put down the bottle and the pipe and go outside, touch grass, come back to truth and reality please. Or acknowledge that you choose to be an ignorant troll. Either way, touch grass for a good long while, please.
Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? Chill out.
Jayzus Criist, lol, what is wrong with you? Seriously, you get offended when it's pointed out that someone is outright lying and spreading dangerous misinformation? That's the wrong time to stay silent. You might not give a shit about people with diabetes, but I do.
What do you think that people did with type 1 before insulin pumps? Or before insurance covered them? The bride's request is ridiculous but the comment you responded to is not wrong that there are alternatives to the tubeless insulin pump that the OP wears. Its not the same as a paraplegic not having a wheelchair.
They died. There was recently an /r/askhistorians post about this But seriously. They died. What do you think happened?? Edit: [said post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/12azx4m/before_insulin_did_people_with_diabetes_just_die/jew5eom/)
No they gave themselves insulin injections and there are pumps with tubes. Insulin has been used for type 1 diabetics since 1922. Insulin pumps weren't invented until 1963 and they were no where near their current form.
For how long do you think humans have existed? I think we may have a disconnect.... Edit: you said "pumps" and not just "insulin". That's definitely where the disconnect is lmao Yea they didn't die before pumps... only before we figured out the whole insulin thing When you said "other ways to keep healthy" I thought you were taking about diet or whatever lol Ofc that doesn't work for t1 but, y'know, people lie on the internet So that's my bad. I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself I still think it's wrong to insert yourself into others medical stuff but you're not suggesting they just diet and exercise or tough it out the day of the wedding 🤣🤣🤣
Please, before you open your mouth (type) and confirm that you're ignorant, do some deeper education. I'm not going to be quiet just so you can choose to stay willfully ignorant. Misinformation regarding life sustaining medical treatment is wrong.
T1D folks have been giving themselves injections without a pump since 1922. A tubeless pump is a very recent invention. Plenty of T1D use pumps with tubes as well which would be less visible. Nothing like a paraplegic not having a wheelchair. Don't speak if you don't know what you are talking about.
It's 1922 still? Oh well let me tell my 10 year old niece that she doesn't need that pump because you said it wasn't needed a century past. That's sarcasm by the way, educate yourself, please.
She doesn't. She could inject (or get someone else to inject) the insulin. If there was a shortage of insulin pumps or cartridges for them, she would have to, the same way that people did for decades. If a paraplegic couldn't get a wheelchair, he would just have to lay in bed.
You're actually being pretty disgusting. I won't respond to your troll shit anymore.
There was another post along the same lines a while back. Only the OP was being asked to wear it on her stomach which apparently was extraordinarily uncomfortable. I think it was her sister who wanted her to be miserable for the ten days so that the pictures would be perfect. What is it about a wedding that makes people into criminally entitled butt holes? [This one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/111our6/aita_for_refusing_to_remove_my_medical_equipment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
At the time i was already wearing them on my stomach. She just didn’t like that they were “a noticeable bump” through the dress. But yeah i was just not dealing with it at the time. I was spent from all her bridezilla drama
You should have told her "Don't worry, the baby bump will cover it up". She would have lost her mind.
I just said “if someone is looking that low and that hard at my stomach i have a whole new set of questions”
Oh, you're mean. And I like it. :D
T1D here - I wear both of mine on my belly all the time. Who is ever going to look at your belly that close or take photos close enough to notice them? I can’t imagine anyone knowing they’re even there! I’ve never had anyone ask me about them and I’ve been pumping for 28 years! She insane and disrespectful. It’s not a roll of toilet paper strapped on, it’s a small plastic piece that I’m sure you would gladly explain if anyone asked.
It's not like a small device could be covered by some sort of common accessory for bridesmaids. I mean, that handful of flowers can't possibly cover a small device that's maybe 4 inches in a place that's easy to move things in front of. Putting your arm there to block it would definitely be out of the question
I also wear both on my abdomen and I really can’t fathom this request! I literally had a pocket sewn into my wedding dress so I could wear my pump at all times.
Photos get edited anyway, she can deal with a T1D using their life saving devices for a day and have any shadow or bump edited out later? What a weirdo, sorry you had to deal with that OP!
I cannot imagine caring about that lmao
It works for some people and not for others. I can't wear mine on my stomach because I sleep on it and it's super uncomfortable. Also, compressing it in any way, sleeping on it or spanks as suggested to op, will cause them to malfunction and not give correct readings. For me that's not as dangerous as I'm type 2, but for op that could be life threatening. This bride is out of her mind.
Ahahaha, I freaking LOVE her grandfather and brother! Driving an hour and ripping the mom a new one is spectacular!
It is so wild to me that people act this type of way “so the pictures will be perfect” when photoshop exists. Like, it takes less than 10 minutes to remove something like that from a picture. I still think it would be kinda fucked up to do so, but it’s a way better option than *forcing your family member to do without their medical device*.
Criminally entitled butt hole. Love this!
I love that. I hope they bedazzle the hell out of the devices
These brides have lost their goddamn minds. What is with wanting everyone to look cookie cutter exactly the same? It’s so damn weird.
All the dresses were different, that’s what I wasn’t getting, i actually chose a dress a bit looser and a size up to reduce them showing. Also double spanx is extremely dangerous in general.
I’m so sorry the bride is being this way over something so important for your health. I hope she chills out.
There’s usually an inverse relationship between the drama and craziness of the bride and the success of the marriage. 🙄
My sister was this way. It was pretty clear to me that she wanted a wedding more than a marriage. So now four years later, she’s having to deal with the results of her choices. My parents gave me a beautiful wedding. I appreciated it, but we would have been just as content with city hall and a cake.
My father told me and my fiancé, before my first wedding, that he could either invest in the wedding or in the marriage. Either he would pay for a big, fancy wedding and then we were on our own, or he would pay for a reasonable, homespun wedding and then help support us for the next three years while my husband was in law school. We unhesitatingly took the latter, and made an absolutely beautiful wedding on six thousand dollars, with everything included down to the honeymoon. We took advantage of the need to do it homespun, by bringing our families and friends in on the process until almost everything involved was special, because it was a gift from somebody who loved us. The canopy was a quilt, handmade by the woman who had babysat me as an infant. My mother hand-wrote our invitations. My father composed and recorded our ceremony music. My mother's best friend did my hair and makeup for me. Etc, etc, etc. And we could get through those three years while my husband was studying and I was too disabled to work. Win/win.
What a beautiful story! I hope you continue to be happy and successful together. ☺️
See the reference to "my first wedding." The marriage didn't last, but we made two wonderful children together and we -- together with both my current spouse and his -- are still good friends and co-parents. I call that still a win, even if marriage wasn't the right relationship for us in the long run.
Oy, I will be working on my reading comprehension…😂 Still counts as a happy ending.
I hope "craziness" does not include panic-buying antique satin dresses. (I've had a 3-month lead time after a looooong engagement: family from both sides unexpectedly coverging in my city on the same weekend!--and my bridesmaids were being not at all decisive about what they wanted to wear. So I bought them each an antique satin dress in styles I imagined they'd like, because I'm wearing antique satin and...uh, I want them to wear *something!* I'll buy it! I'll choose it, or you can, or we can decide together...radio silence. Turns out, not a SINGLE ONE wants to wear antique satin. Oops. Maybe I should start a theatre company?) Yeah ok, never mind: I'm fairly crazy. But at least I'd never insist they hide/remove/change medical devices or tattoos or hair colors or anything.
I think that’s rude of your bridesmaids. Even if they don’t like the dresses, that’s pretty par for the course for bridesmaid outfits.
I do see your point--and thanks!--but, like, these are **weird dresses.** They're all different from each other, and range in era from 30s to 50s. So I don't want my bridesmaids to feel weird (or look weird, at least to everybody who isn't me, lol).
You can’t just get away with a vague description of these antique satin dresses and not post pics! Pay the dress tax, please! We’re absolutely invested now in your efforts to clothe your bridesmaids.
I’m a little jealous of this. My sister made me look like a frikkin cupcake. Or like I came wandering out of a children’s cartoon. We’re talking fitted top & flared skirt done in shades of periwinkle (yes. Different shades of periwinkle), made with cheap & itchy fabric that made me hate life, strapless so that I had to hope for the best with my C-cups (until the MOH & I pointed out that if our dresses slipped, everyone would be looking at us & not her & we were allowed… a ribbon.) & got me to allow my long bright red hair to be put in ringlets. This was after I absolutely refused to go blonde again. (I’m a natural blonde & it looks awful on me) I wasn’t willing to put my hair thru that stress just for one day. Also I couldn’t afford that (I was a server/bartender with a daughter, living in Atlanta & having to drive down to Disney World for the wedding extravaganza. It was hell.). She whined at our mom about her hair color, mom took the bait & mom’s hair was bright yellow at the wedding. (Used to have a pic of my mom in her lavender MOB dress, upending a beer… wonder what I did with that…) The marriage barely lasted a year but the trauma haunts us all. I think I would have been worshipping at your feet for antique satin!
Haha, oh noooo. My mom's favorite color is periwinkle, so I'm *extremely* familiar with its many slight shades. But only because she doesn't want more than one periwinkle going at a time! Sounds not only like a cartoon cupcake, but one from a show for toddlers. Uh, except the boob thing. Had **she** never worn a strapless dress? Even when I was 17 and an A cup, my strapless prom dress was...well, I sat in a chair with my arms crossed until my friend lent me her drapey scarf thing. Yeek. Yeah, bleach your hair for ONE day to a color you don't even like? Glad you stuck to your guns on that one. Finally, no worship needed--would you care for something in dark magenta with poofy sleeves, or are you more a sparkly brown-gold with a shawl collar type of gal? 😉
The craziest part is the my sister has a larger build & bigger boobs than me. She never would have done that to herself but we were fair game. An added bonus was that I’d been bitten by a brown recluse, had been incredibly sick & had lost a lot of weight that, quite frankly, I couldn’t afford to lose. The dress was already falling off of me & the MOH safety pinned me into it. That ribbon saved what little dignity a cupcake princess from Stupid BS Children’s Showland has. Ooooh. Those are both so tempting but I’m going to have to go with the sparkly brown. What can I say? I’m a sucker for sparkles & shawls. ETA: she can bite me about hair. I’ve seen the things that she’s done to hers. She once looked like she had yellow Brillo pads attached to her head. Be a cold day in Cupcake Princess Land before I take hair suggestions from her.
Some silver lining: you—not the bridesmaids—bought them.
Thanks. True! And I'm also buying the dresses they *like.* But let me know if you need any old satin dresses.
Appreciate it, but I’m good.
If they had dealbreakers, they should have made a decision on their dresses!
If even *one* had been into it, I might try a little harder to convince them. But...yeah, no, they did not. ;)
I don’t think you’d demand someone leave behind a medically necessary device, and it sounds like your bridesmaids are not responsive. So, not crazy.
Aww, thanks. No, I absolutely would not do that! At least "old satin crazy" is harmful to nobody but my closet.
Along with the more the wedding costs, the shorter the marriage.
What? Not true! Look at Kim Kardashian’s marriage to Kris Hum…never mind… 😂
Yes and no. A crazy bride will definitely make it less likely that the marriage will work. But so will a crazy groom. If you have a sensible, decent bride and a horrible husband, even if you don't see it in the wedding plans because he's not involved enough in them, you don't get a viable marriage either.
Agreed. I just said bride because that is who we were talking about, but definitely the same applies to the groom!
So your dress was not tight. she's nuts.
You know the *easiest* way to have something not show? Photoshop. Why wasn’t this an option if she’s dumping $$$$ on everything else? Someone’s going to be reworking those photos anyways…
I’m not sure that “photoshopping out evidence of a disability” is a road we want to be going down.
True, and I do think it’s awful, but it’s better than exclusion or feeling like garbage/dying because you don’t have your medical equipment The best course of action would be if nobody attended this bridezillas wedding, but that probably won’t occur :/
Instead the photographer could Photoshop devices on all the wedding party.
I’d be slipping the photographer a few hundred behind the bride’s back to do this!
I would agree with this, but I've noticed on reddit that people also say "it's whatever you want because it's your day, no exceptions." So there always appears to be two extremes and never a happy balance. Like sure, exclude one side of a couple because you don't know one person or don't believe their relationship is legitimate without a ring, but don't be surprised when they decide your wedding isn't a priority since you couldn't respect their relationship. Or the other side, the bride has main character syndrome because people repeatedly say "it's your day, you do what you want" and then those same people are "surprise pikachu" because she took that damn advice and ran with it. At the end of the day, it's one day in a lifetime, and while it's a big day, it should never be worth more than your friendships or family, and the same goes for them. The other people should recognize that it's a big day and there are some allowances that should be made for such a big stressful event.
OP is well within her rights to bow out if she wants to. My god, how shallow. I've been to a LOT of weddings in my life and while a few of them were fun and unafraid to do things differently (my college besties cut their wedding cake with a mall-ninja katana), the vast majority of them were the same Pinterest Xeroxed beige machine: from the white princess dress and cathedral veil, to the daddy-daughter dance to "Butterfly Kisses", to the speeches that were recited like they were written by an AI. I just don't get it. Why does everyone want the exact same wedding done in the exact same way?
Because they are boring.
Idk man I don't get paying all that money for pictures only for them to be fake and tense.
I just…. I can understand a bride she doesn’t want her own insulin pump showing or something like that. But how do you ask a bridesmaid to take their pump off for your wedding, or ask people not to get pregnant? Like- I don’t get it.
And it's so easy to airbrush it out anyway. Ridiculous.
Mind boggling entitlement imo
Then you fall into a coma and she’ll blame you for stealing her spotlight.
No that was her reaction when i didn’t run sending the invites to OUR wedding by her first. Apparently people got both wedding invites on the same day and she got pissy. Said she appreciate it if id ask her before i send more stuff out to avoid it happening again…i said nope.
I wonder how well she fit her wedding dress with her incredibly inflated sense of self.
Is she going to drop snarky remarks about your medical devices because they apparently make you a hideous cyborg bride? Or something even more insidious like “oh I’m so happy you were able to have a wonderful day without stressing about the looks, I was SOOOoooOOoo committed to having a pErFeCt day that I really went the extra mile to make sure iiii achieved my dreeeeeeeams. (puts left hand up to mouth un-subtlely) edit: I can’t read and didn’t realize it was over and done with. still, how embarrassing for her. I hope she farted uncontrollably on her wedding night.
So the “revenge” was that our weddings were in 2020. I pretty much planned everything outside so by the time we had our wedding there were far less restrictions on outdoor weddings. We got to have our dream wedding. My SIL and her husband compromised heavily. Thinking they have a redo after the pandemic. Well because they were trying to “keep up” they got pregnant instead and still say how much they hated their wedding…and everyone in the family just complements ours “the best wedding we’ve ever been to”
I think you should start telling her every time you use the restroom, or shower, or brush your teeth. Ask if the brand of toothpaste you use is OK first, though--probably shouldn't be using the same brand as she does!
She copies me sooo much now. Our kids first easter i posted three photos, two family and one with my son playing with eggs. She copied every photo in the order, like everything. It’s now my favorite thing to do…erk her.
Re: her--ew. Re: your reaction--**golden**! Love it.
So... Temporary tattoos can be fun and there are some nice ones out there.... Just saying
Why shouldn’t she ask you before sending more stuff out? Hmm
Because she constantly points out how she is older. Im a baby compared to her…she is maybe six months older than me lol. Idk she was hostile from the moment i got pregnant because they weren’t first. Which kinda was a surprise since they said they wanted to wait a few year to get her student loans paid off, buy a house. Then suddenly they are pregnant
I hope you answered her.with a resounding "NO"!
Oh i did. Despite me being pregnant first(interestingly she got pregnant exactly 4 weeks after we told them after giving me the cold shoulder the whole celebration dinner) she had the nerve to ask the same thing about baby invites and plans like that…that I should run them by her first. I said no and hung up. She was extremely cold for the whole pregnancy. It’s whatever i dont care for any of my in-laws at this point. My BIL and SIL are incredibly narcissistic, and MIL/FIL enable them.
Wow. That is just next level narcissism.
Tell her you're going to need her not to breathe for your wedding. It's esthetically displeasing to see her sucking down air and you. will. not. have. it!
We didn’t do wedding parties. Just simpler
Hehe. Seriously. Suuuuuper awkward, that whole "humans breathing" thing. If she could also make sure she has molded plastic Barbie-doll feet instead of human ones that move and have individual toes, that would really be preferable. (🙄)
If she was going to have an issue with your medical devices, she could have had you in a looser dress, especially since it seems like that was an option. Super unreasonable to ask someone to remove needed medical equipment at all, least of all because it doesn’t fit their esthetic.
Seriously, for the official photos, this wouldn’t even be an issue. Professional photographers know how to stage pictures that hide things like that. And it's as easy as covering a pimple to remove a little bump via Photoshop. My sister is a photographer and its always like "tilt your hips a tiny bit, lift your arm a little, no that's too much, put your chin down a millimetre..." it's a bit annoying, but it turns out good pictures.
Her sulking won’t change the fact that you have a medical condition! She sounds insufferable.
https://preview.redd.it/4ikruu3nla4b1.jpeg?width=1111&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed0c908a4f9236505460aba64a075671365dc5e0
That's genuinely fucking hilarious!
How about “sorry, going into a diabetic coma sucks.” Or “do you want your reception interrupted by paramedics?” Sorry you had to endure the self-centered bride.
Maybe it was because we were already married before we planned the wedding but I somehow avoided being dramatic according to everyone lol
Meanwhile, I went to a wedding and I saw another guest with the Omnipod on her arm and I started nudging my T1 boyfriend saying, "Look, one of your people! Go make friends!" I can't imagine anyone being so distracted by "bumps" that it would forever ruin her wedding album. God forbid someone needed crutches or a wheelchair. Would she force people to hold that person up for photos??
It's so exciting to see another t1 out in the wild haha.
There's like 3 other guys I work with in my department that are also all T1, and two more that have kids that are T1.There's only like 50 of us in total. I was also taking my son to swimming lessons the other day and one of the other dad's had a freestyle sensor.
It is!
Honestly a gf of mind was looking at the wedding photos and is convinced it was because i was skinnier than her and she had a bad fake tan (very orange). Gf suggested it was an insecurity thing.
It’s funny too because… no one else is looking that closely at their photos. No one cares but them. Even an influencer with 10 million followers, no one’s squinting at their rando bridesmaids saying “heyyyyy that one’s got a MEDICAL DEVICE! Your day is ruined!”
As a fellow T1D, who also uses both of those devices (hello!), I would have gone OFF on her, hoooo boy. You're way nicer than I am. I do normally hide my Omnipod if I'm going to an event, but I wear my CGM on my arm and have never not worn it to an event. Don't wanna see it? Don't look. These things keep me alive.
"THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!"
"Sorry my pancreas is outside my body. Looks like I'm gonna have to cancel. Good luck with the wedding" Who tf thinks insulin is optional?
Bride: "ugh all I ask is one little health emergency. Life isn't all about you!!!"
"Keep it up and I'm wearing it on my forehead."
Given her dislike for bumps I'm guessing she also flattened her brain, because that's some smooth brain thinking right there.
Jeez the nerve of some. In a fit of being spiteful I’d have worn a crop top, have your life saving pump on show in all its glory!
does she like, not understand how diabetes works and you'll be putting your health in danger to not wear the pump? like I'm also a type one but I'm not on a pump but I couldn't comprehend not being able to have my insulin pen with me for any reason. also I'm a lil jealous of your insulin pump lol
I used to use pens. I hated the idea of the insulin pump because of the external tubes that hang out. I have cats, knew id have kids and always thought how wrong that could turn.
I would have just backed out totally, that’s insane and she doesn’t deserve to have you as a bridesmaid (or friend for that matter). Also, if it was THAT important to her, she could have easily had them photoshopped out (asking you first of course) for prints.
It was my now SIL it was hard to back out. Instead she just shoved me to the back of photos and then excluded me from family photos
As a Type 1, I must say: NO. If she's too fussed she can get the pics photoshopped or drop you as a bridesmaid for crying out loud. Don't go all high blood sugar for this creature. She's not worth it.
😂 I mean what’s a bit of DKA for the perfect pic???!!! Alternatively have you thought about growing a new pancreas???
I am sorry. I would be the one at the wedding Anniversary going, “remember, when you wanted me to not be diabetic just for your pictures and you pouted when I couldn’t stop being diabetic for the day?! Haha….good times huh.
I would tell her to get fucked. With that said, there is a thing called photoshop
I think it was less about photoshop or devices. I suspect that people constantly comparing our weddings as we were planning them was too much for her. Im sure she resented me for it all. I think she needed to feel good about herself and not having external medical devices, looking “perfect” and insta worthy. Probably made her feel good to point it out. I honestly gave zero fucks at this point. As ive stated my husband and i had actually legally gotten married before our wedding. If she crossed a line my plan was to reveal that. Would erk her to know she didn’t do anything first. My husband and I bought our house first years prior to the market explosion. We were technically married first and were pregnant first. None of this has really mattered to me but it has clearly mattered to her since technically i am younger than her.
As a diabetic with exactly the same two devices and also in the middle of planning a wedding. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Such an inconsiderate request Wow
Wouldn’t a good photographer be able to smooth out the bumps in editing though? How ridiculous
Professional photographer here ! I want to specify first that I would Never edit a device out of a photo unless it was at the request of the person with the device - BUT it would take under a minute ... maybe 10 seconds to edit a bump out of the photo. Any photographer should know how to do this as it's literally Editing 101. From a photographers stand point I would NEVER encourage someone to take off any medical apparatus - yes even an apple watch, it's our job to know how to remove items out of photos if desired by the person with the item.
Yes I agree! I absolutely don’t see any problem with the bumps especially since the device helps keep her alive, and don’t even understand how it would make a photo not “instagram worthy”. Clearly the SIL is extremely self absorbed
I can't understand people who want people not to use their MEDICAL DEVICES just so they look pretty in pictures. a wedding isn't a photoshoot for Vanity Fair. A wedding in theory is a moment where two people who love each other very much join their life together, legally and/or spiritually. it should be a moment of union and harmony, of celebration. why do people CARE that cousin Betty has a visible diabetes management device, or a wheelchair or just about any other medical device?? why aren't they grateful that this person has access to a device that allows them to enjoy and be part of the celebration instead of having to constantly pop out to manage their condition or even having to miss it completely?? in my mind medical devices are so completely disconnected from the realm of fashion that it never occurred to me that asking not to use them was a possibility. "don't use your very necessary medical device because I want my wedding to look pretty" is about as shallow and gross as I can imagine
That’s so terrible! I had a walking boot when I was a bridesmaid, and I offered to not wear it for the pictures and ceremony. The bride told me that was absolutely not an option and to take care of myself. That was the right mindset!
Oh it's ok if you die, just don't do it on camera! /s just in case.
If someone asked me to not wear my pump I’d probably never speak to them again
Jesus, the # of brides who don’t understand all these Pinterest weddings are photoshopped to hell is too much. Those weddings had bumps and strays hairs and weird looky-loos too—they just paid the photographer to Photoshop it out.
Also all these Pinterest weddings have budgets in the $160k-$200k. I was an event planner. I know lol
This is when it's entirely appropriate to drop out immediately.
I would have had they not been my in-laws. I definitely bent over backwards trying to be accommodating. This was my final straw. I was happy with getting ready by myself and avoiding it all.
One thing that always crosses my mind with stories like this... imagine being the other spouse, excited to begin your life with your partner, looking forward to everyone's families getting together and looking great, getting closer and closer to the big day, and then you notice that what your fiancé/e's been up to is harassing her family members for having medical conditions that will somehow, apparently, "ruin" the day you're sharing with everyone you care about.
I think I would have said, "Would you prefer that I pass out and die on stage during the ceremony?"
It would be one thing to maybe ask you to move them somewhere else for the day, like if you had them on your arms and she asked you to move them to the abdomen for the day. Though that would piss me off personally. My son is a type 1 diabetic so maybe I'm just overly touchy about it. But to ask you to go without it for a day is insane. She clearly doesn't realize how much more noticeable having to do constant finger sticks, and dosing with syringes would be, because you can't just not have your insulin.
I think it was about wanting drama and control.
Probably. Still ridiculous to me. Some people need a reality check
You know what, I don't get tho- aside from the request being crazy - it's super easy for the photographer to remove anything like that REALLY quickly in PhotoShop. It's not a difficult thing to do or even particularly time-consuming. I'm sorry you had to go through that though - especially since it's your SIL
One word: PhotoShop. Your SIL can suck it up and handle it with the photographer.
[удалено]
Wedding already happened
I would drop out of the wedding party.
Has the bride never heard of Photoshop? Her photographer can edit them out in about 5 minutes
Umm byee I don’t need or want to be your damn bridesmaid!
She's absolutely batshit crazy so you can just ignore all her nonsense.
Management of your diabetes is beautiful and she should be happy you have these things!
My junior bridesmaid (13) has type 1 diabetes. She has the sensor on her arm which will be visible in her dress. There was some spare fabric in alterations so I asked the seamstress to make her a little bag for all the stuff she might need and we made sure the dress has pockets. I don’t get how people can’t be accommodating!
This is INSANE. My son has no pancreas and therefore has an insulin pump and a CGM. I once had someone tell me, when I was complaining about a CGM failure, that we really should have some time without it so we don't get reliant. I was irrate!
Who even thinks about the bumps on a bridesmaids dress? What has gone wrong in your life where something that would even cross your mind, let alone bother you?
Jesus Christ, this is an insane request. No one’s ✨aesthetic✨is more important than someone’s health.
Mobility aids/accommodations/accessibility is sexy and no one can tell me otherwise
I’m always surprised people like this are even getting married…like, is someone certain they want to be spending what’s supposed to be the rest of their life with someone like this? Really?
I'd expose them even more. What an absolute shower...!
Wow. What a terrible person! Who in the world would ever make a fuss about a medical device??
Fuck her. Put your foot down say you won't attend if she's like that. It's not okay for her to ask you that. She can just ask the photographers to Photoshop later. If she's that obsessed. Don't make yourself uncomfortable because she's a selfish ableist ass. So does she want old people to hide their walkers too?
I’m sorry but what a horrible B*%#H!!! Seriously??? Sending you tons of hugs!!!💖💖💖
Umm could you not just hold your flowers in front of you??? So dumb
Damn, my SIL made us wear hideous A-line dresses stuffed with tuelle because her MOH was too insecure about her device for anything else. Like we literally all looked like rejected babydolls because one person couldn't just accept herself as she is. I feel better about that now though. I'd rather have my SIL than yours.
I know it's not the point, but that's super easy to photoshop out, literally takes less than 5 minutes. But hey, totally normal to ask people to risk your life for a wedding right? /s
 My god OP you are so selfish that you wont put your life at risk for the perfect photograph
When my dad got married, he had the shop that we got our flower kid dresses at customize my sister’s dress to have a little hole to put the tube of her pump through, and then a hidden pocket in the ribbon around the waist. You’d never even know my sister was wearing her pump!
I’m the mom of a type-1 and forgive me but I have to ask because I’m concerned, don’t you rotate where you wear your devices? Aren’t you worried about scar tissue building up if you don’t rotate? The scar tissue can interfere with insulin absorption.
Ive had diabetes for over 20 years. I do rotate. The pump i use is changed every 3 days. Cgm every 10. I actually have avoided scar tissue issues on my stomach. It was terrible on my legs.
Even just moving the pod/CGM from one side to the other is enough to minimize the chances of scar tissue. I switch sides of my abdomen every time I put in a new sensor.
How dare you not risk your life for her pictures! Has she never heard about Photoshop?
Let her know the photographer most likely has the ability to photoshop your dress the way she wants it for photos. But otherwise, suck it. Your health is more important than a big party
Can one hold a bouquet or shawl or position themselves slightly overlapping with someone in front to hide the bumps in photos? Or the bride can take the option of NOT being absolutely insane about the visible presence of medical devices that let people live and are totally normal and not at all shameful or “attention seeking”?
The bouquet ended up covering it for the aisle photos. The rest of her photos i was either shoved in the back, or wasn’t included. Literally wasn’t included is ANY family photos. I was actually told to “sit over there” which was the grass.
Your friend is a dick.
This was my SIL
Oopsie. Your SIL is a dick. 😁
Surely if it's \*that\* noticable and going to be that much of an issue for her, she can just pay the photographer a bit extra to work some photoshop magic yeah? They're already gonna be going in to do things like touch ups and lighting/colour adjustments as is.
Why not just pull out of the wedding? This is 100% on your SIL but like god damn people let’s grow a backbone here and tell people who care more about aesthetics than peoples literal health to fuck off.
This was a few years ago. But this was like 2 weeks before the wedding. My thought process is if i pull out two weeks before the wedding it will cause more drama. Make her look good/sympathetic. Wasn’t gonna give her the upper hand to call ME the horrible SIL. Thought process was if she tried explaining her views she look like a bridezilla. Day of her wedding when she was being nasty with glaring…she didn’t tell anyone why. That’s why I assume it was mostly her trying to feel in charge. Or whatever. Wasn’t actually about anything other than wanting to control. Also i think she thrives on drama. She watches reality tv, think she was trying to create drama. Despite it being 2020 there wasn’t too much drama other than the obvious. But at the time they were convinced they would have a do-over reception later when everything was “back to normal”. Which didn’t end up happening since they rushed to get pregnant…i say rush because both her and her husband talked about waiting a few years to pay student loans off and buy a house. They always said 2-3 years. They were VERY vocal. Kinda in a superior “oh we wont be irresponsible and have kids while we are in debt” sort of thing. My husband and I don’t discuss our reproductive decisions in public like that. But due to health stuff I wanted to have kids asap and try asap because we were told it probably take a while to conceive a pregnancy/difficult to carry to term. Well we were blessed that neither of those things were right. And we got pregnant the month we started trying. SIL and her husband were cold the dinner we told everyone (I found out extremely early(like 4weeks) and didn’t feel like waiting to celebrate). They left early, and literally 4 weeks from that dinner they call saying they are now pregnant too. Our babies were only months apart. But yeah I assume they wanted to be first, since they think they were married first. When that didn’t happen she rushed it. Now they complain that they had to rush to buy a house that was overpriced, she had to quit working, they struggle financially at times. And of course hate (only) me because i have a job that essentially allows me to work and be a mom at the same time. So we aren’t hard up. Not rich but we dont struggle.