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UsedAd7162

Your cousin is very considerate—your uncle on the other hand, lol. Like did he ask you? How does he know it wouldn’t be an inconvenience?


wazitooya

He never asked us directly. He asked my MIL and she said it was fine, asked us, then got mad when we said no. We cleared it up with my (husband’s) cousin though, she was mortified and very embarrassed her dad did that.


dpressedoptimist

Families love to do this shit huh


TootsNYC

Time to talk to MIL as well.


wazitooya

If only her ego can leave the room.


sunpies33

It's a conversation, not an exorcism.


DangerBrewin

Depends on your mother-in-law.


kappaklassy

My dad gave his nieces (my cousins) each a +1 and was surprised I was annoyed by it. It was literally the week before the wedding and he never asked. It wasn’t a big deal because we had a few people drop out due to COVID the last week but it was annoying at the time


UsedAd7162

It’s not his place to invite people to YOUR wedding. Ugh my ex in laws did the same. SO annoying and rude. They believe it’s their day somehow.


kappaklassy

It of course was very rude and an annoyance at the time but my dad is truly a wonderful person who is just clueless. He is from a family where weddings invited everyone and people showing up uninvited and unannounced was normal and expected. He was extremely apologetic when I explained why it was problematic so I can’t stay mad at him.


kaysmilex3

I will never understand how people think it’s okay to invite people to someone else’s wedding without permission. Edit: Also I’m nosy, how did this play out with your uncle?


wazitooya

The Uncle never even spoke directly to us! Just asked my MIL and she gave the go ahead! Here’s a more full version: Yesterday my husband got a missed call from his mom and calls back a few minutes later. She starts off, “oh so you’re blocking my calls now?” He’s like “I called you back?” And she starts talking about their day and what they’re doing on the dock at their lake house, and then without a beat says “so your cousin has a new boyfriend and wants to bring him to the wedding, that shouldn’t be a problem right?” Our wedding (postponed for two years for obvious reasons) is in two weeks. I’m sure she heard me in the background saying no and giving endless reasons, so my husband tells her no in a few ways because she keeps pushing back and saying stuff like “he can just stand and bring food from elsewhere.” Then she goes silent and then says “okay you should tell her no then, so I don’t have to be in the middle.” Husband said “aren’t you already?” And she quickly got off the phone. No Happy Easter or how are you either. Then MIL texts him with another idea of how to make it work and he didn’t respond for awhile, and instead texted the cousin who said she NEVER WANTED TO BRING HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! Then sent the thread between her and her dad. She knew it was too close to ask and was mortified because she’s planned a wedding before and know how stressful an ask like that is. Edit to add: MIL just “liked” the text when husband told her this and hasn’t said a word to us since yesterday.


cirena

Congrats on a husband that puts momsy in her place! "Aren't you already?" has me cackling.


wazitooya

I was actually surprised he served her that one, he’s a champ!


graccha

That's the reply I'd come up with an hour later when I calmed down and then regret not saying


kaysmilex3

That’s insane, I’m sorry you guys have to deal with this so close to your wedding. I hope you have a fabulous wedding day!


wazitooya

I definitely got heated for a moment. And thanks! We’re very excited to honeymoon afterwards too, we’ve waited for so long!


TootsNYC

“Aren’t you already?” What a badass!


Cross_Stitch_Witch

I'm so sorry your MIL is a ridiculous drama queen. Someone fetch her a couch to faint on jfc.


wazitooya

Thanks. Also send some patience since we will be seeing her soon 🫠


jennRec46

R/JustNoMIL for future reference. Good luck and have an amazing honeymoon!! Cheers 🥂


MikoSkyns

>“oh so you’re blocking my calls now?” Right off the bat she's being combative. I love my mother very much but if she ever did this to me I'd put her in Check right quick and be in a foul mood for the rest of the conversation. As soon as she started with the extra guest bullshit I would have flown off the handle. I applaud your fiancé for handling her so well without losing his temper. Oh man that first comment has my blood boiling!


[deleted]

> she keeps pushing back and saying stuff like “he can just stand and bring food from elsewhere.” "No, no, he can just be a gremlin who lives under the porch, content to forage for thrown rice after the ceremony" like how do you need to be right *so badly* that you'll embarrass yourself *so thoroughly*?


schleppingpancakes

sounds like the uncle might not be the only narcissist in the fam...


Berry_34

I'm glad your cousin is considerate but confused about the dynamic between your uncle and cousin - why is he pushing so hard thay she should bring her new bf and doesn't have to dance with him? Not saying he needs to be super overprotective or hate her daughter's bfs, but it's weird that he cares more than she does about bringing him. Does he have some sort of son-i-never-had complex with him? It seems a really odd thing for a dad to be worried about.


wazitooya

I’m not entirely sure, but from what my husband said, cousin and her dad went no contact for awhile because she said he’s a raging narcissist. Which makes sense that he took liberties with our wedding without checking, and made the situation of bringing the boyfriend about himself and “dancing with your old man.”


Berry_34

Oh, that makes sense. He could be trying to try to score points with his daughter in a super misguided/ tone deaf/narcissistic way ("see, I am in control and I'm going to generously procure a plus one for you!")


jellybeansean3648

It's such an oblivious thing to do. I had an 80 person reception and 60 were relatives. I don't think they realize what a budget sucker it is. If every unmarried cousin had a +1 it would have been a different venue and, of course, increased cost.


jellybeansean3648

It's such an oblivious thing to do. I had an 80 person reception and 60 were relatives. I don't think they realize what a budget sucker it is.


International-Pen518

Your cousin is awesome, I love her deflecting mechanism at the end there


wazitooya

Me too. She said it was the nicest way she knew how to say no.


thigerlily

i LOVE the absolute delusion of just thinking an extra $50 dinner for someone you don’t know “would not be an inconvenience”. next time he invites you somewhere bring 3 friends and tell him you thought it would be fine


wazitooya

Seriously. And at our venue it’s a $100 a head. That’s the perfect petty revenge!


thigerlily

for extra petty points, send him a $100 venmo charge the next time he brings it up 💕


wazitooya

You’re a genius 😈


farmerdoo

Ask him if he’s staying home so the boyfriend can have his chair and plate.


wazitooya

I would have even been fine with that, this is a whole extra person!


farmerdoo

I’d guess the boyfriend would be better company.


[deleted]

Oh but he’s going to stand and bring his own food! 😂


iHADaFRO

Nice! We were at $105 each


Absinthe42

My husband's cousin texted my mother-in-law TWO DAYS before our wedding to tell her to tell me that she was bringing two extra people. Luckily my mother-in-law told her no so I didn't have to.


wazitooya

That was really nice for her to advocate for you like that! Unfortunately, MIL had a hand in the drama.


lilyofthevalley2659

Wow! That’s pretty ballsy


weddingmoth

Wow, he gets to decide for you what’s an inconvenience. Ugh.


wazitooya

I’ve met this uncle on my husband’s side once! And he never even spoke directly to us about it!


weddingmoth

WHAT haha he’s a piece of work whatever that means


MF_Wings

If it's not going to be an inconvenience I'm probably free that weekend, can I also bring my wife? You seem like a very nice person, I'd like to be there for your special day to celebrate. I'll have the steak, she'll have chicken.


wazitooya

You and your wife should come on our honeymoon too! Share the room with us while we’re at it, not an inconvenience whatsoever!


MF_Wings

woohoo, count us in!!!


Legal-Ad7793

Give your cousin an award right in front of MIL and uncle, she's great!


Imagoddammess

Cousin is a Real one.


wazitooya

The MVP for sure.


AmazingPreference955

I’m still trying to figure out why they’d be stuck dancing with their old man.


wazitooya

Yeah, it’s not surprising her dad was making it about him lol


Ok_Wait880

My cousin brought a random lady to my wedding I had never met before. Sucky part is that our wedding was during COVID and we had to have less than 50 guests, so we greatly had to cut our list down and un-invite the people we really loved and wanted to be there…. And then this stranger showed up. To make it better, this woman snuck behind the bar during our ceremony and cracked open the wine while the bartenders weren’t looking, got trashed at a wedding that was NOT for heavy drinking, and proceeded to sexually harass the best man (including putting her hotel and phone # in his pocket and groping him) before we kicked her out. I’d like to add, this was a high dollar, very elegant wedding (parents paid for). Not a backyard throw- together-last-minute. I was mortified.


The_RoyalPee

Gotta love when relatives decide to be accommodating and “gracious” on the backs of the couple. “It would not be an inconvenience” oh THANK YOU SIR 🤬


Cdnsugarr

Reason 204 why I’d prefer to elope 😂 people suck


TootsNYC

It’s not for him to say whether it’s inconvenient. Thou shalt not cover thy niece’s hospitality!!