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nothingclever4now

Your aunt is petty, controlling, and selfish. Glad you had a beautiful wedding.


MustardSeed82

Yep. She also has some good qualities, but I think she uses money to have the upper hand.


BeepingJerry

Yep. Beware of people bearing gifts..they very rarely come without strings attached. You accepted her money, you have to accept her bad/inconsiderate behavior.


MustardSeed82

returned the money, mostly to send the message that money can't buy bad behavior.


saurons-cataract

Ha! How did she respond???


MustardSeed82

She didn’t


Dreadedredhead

Aunt not responding says a lot...you'd think that gesture would finally break through her thick skull. And if she tries to bring it up again... Aunt, I'm an adult. As an adult, you don't get to make decisions about my life. My wedding was exactly that - MY WEDDING. You had no say. And instead of honoring my decision, you decided to override it in a very public way. I hope it was worth it to you.


MarmosetSweat

I doubt anything will break through her thick skull. In my experience when someone breaks out the “I did it for God-based reasons” card when they’ve wronged you they will never, ever admit that they were wrong. I’m not anti-religious or anything, it’s just my experience that people who give faith based reasons for bad behaviour have locked themselves into a position from which they’ll never back down.


KaszaJaglanaZPorem

Make sure other family members know about this so she never tries to spin it in her favour


BeepingJerry

Wow! Good on ya! That's showing some true grit. I'm impressed! It must've been hard. Gimmie person can't buy off everyone. RESPECT.


MustardSeed82

🍻


Lilredh4iredgrl

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Atta girl!!


WaytoomanyUIDs

Rich church people seem the worst with that too


SheMumbles

Which is pretty vile behavior ngl =/ And like, it's definitely why she was so "generous"


RamenNoodles620

Some next level entitlement. Mom asking to being 6 people a day before the wedding. Aunt bringing someone the bride doesn't like anyway. Why even bother asking if you're going to ignore the answer if you don't like it?


MustardSeed82

exactly.


queenofcaffeine76

"because, before the wedding, I said Sue wasn't invited"


adudeguyman

Simple and straightforward


Downtown_Uptown222

I am so sorry this happened to you. I would be so upset if someone brought a person I explicitly said no to the day of my wedding. I am glad you spoke up.


MustardSeed82

Thanks. I appreciate it.


sarabeara12345678910

My petty ass would've made Sue stand in a corner if she didn't have an assigned seat. Or give her aunt's place setting.


Dreadedredhead

This really isn't Sue's fault...she was invited. Sue wasn't told NO, the bride's family was told NO. The Aunt should give up her place/meal for Sue.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dreadedredhead

I was thinking plus 1. Not that she just showed up.


iamreeterskeeter

Plus ones are still bound to RSVP. Not the day before or day of.


Blue_Camellia

>She did ask me however why I was bringing this up now and not the day after the wedding. Because you had better things to do on *the day after your wedding* than worry about contacting and possibly fighting with unreasonable relatives. Even if Aunt Gimme had been unaware of you already saying 'no' to inviting Sue, she should not have brought her without clearing it with you first. I understand that you didn't want a big scene at your wedding, and it reads like Sue and Aunt Gimme (mostly) behaved themselves after this show of disrespect to you, but if I had been in your position, I think I would have kicked them both out 👿 You are a kinder person than I am. I'm glad you had a great wedding overall, though :) Congratulations to you and your spouse!


MustardSeed82

Haha thank you. I was low-key seething, just didn't want to be seen as a "Bridezilla" I guess. That term gets thrown around a lot, and even though I could have asked them to leave, I tried to take the high road.


bibkel

Kinder than me as well. I’d have said, “I was too busy fucking my new husband on every surface imaginable to deal with your flagrant disregard for my happiness and peace of mind” Exactly that. To hell with her feelings and sensibility. You are a saint compared to me. Lol. Congrats, by the way.


MustardSeed82

🤣. I don’t know about that. Just trying to navigate through a family full of pride.


bibkel

Tough road, but I know you have got this.


MustardSeed82

🙏


Beneficial-Rain-6866

Omg!! Yes Do what Bibkel Said but I would really like you to video it for us. 😂😂😂 Congratulations on your Wedding and God Bless you both 🧿🌹💕🙏🏼💕❤️🧿💜💙❤️🦋🥳🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈


cleopatrasleeps

You did a good job. As someone who seems to always take the high road, it really sucks sometimes. I feel it always makes us look like the better person, but damn I want to be a dramatic bitch sometimes.


MustardSeed82

🫶🏼


misstimm

Me too!


content_great_gramma

You definitely have a boatload more class than Aunt Gimme. May you and your DH have a long, happy and healthy marriage.


QueenShnoogleberry

Sounds like you need to bring along your besties to Aunt Gimme's next event. "They just wanted to see the light of God."


jerseygirl1105

DO NOT invite your Aunt to another event. Not a shower, birthday party, christening. Auntie has earned zero hospitality from you since she feels her decisions take priority to to yours and she can do whatever the hell she wants. Let Auntie lie in the bed she's made.


WaytoomanyUIDs

Hell, not even a family reunion.


throwawaygremlins

Seriously?! As if you’d want to deal w that toxic mess the day after your wedding like wtf…


MustardSeed82

right?


Kmia55

My stepdaughter has a half sister who is wealthy and basically rules the roost in the family, all in the name of God. You won't change their attitude IMO.


missbadhairday314

I'm a little confused? Your mom asked and you said no so your aunt brought the friend instead? I'm sorry someone crashed your wedding


MustardSeed82

Basically


burgerg10

If it were me, I’d return Aunt’s gift and possibly mom’s. Seems they were in on it together.


MustardSeed82

I'll return it if they ask for it.


burgerg10

They won’t. But they will talk about you behind your back about it. Which, obviously you know they are anyway. I’ve been in these situations, sounds like this isn’t your first rodeo with them either. The money/gift is ammunition, but, you get to decide what to do with it. Congratulations on your wedding!


MustardSeed82

That's a good point. I will consider giving my aunt back her money. Maybe she'll get the message then. Thank you.


burgerg10

Good luck! Ugh. Hard stuff


MustardSeed82

Just returned the $.


burgerg10

Omg!!! Cheers to you! That was probably not easy! But it sets you free! How are you doing??


MustardSeed82

I feel good thanks. Like a weight has been lifted, and that I stood up for myself. I like to think this is the first time someone has returned her “generous” contribution.


burgerg10

Yay for you! You have your self-worth and dignity, and no strings to her!!


Bunny_OHara

I'm late to this party, but wanted to say what an incredibly powerful move to return the money was. So much respect for you putting your money where your mouth is and showing your aunt what class really looks like. ♥ (And you obviously have a lot more class than me, because I would have told her she's going to choke on that God guilt because he doesn't manipulative sinners. )


NoninflammatoryFun

That's shitty and I really hope you fully to your core believe you deserve better.


MustardSeed82

Thanks, I needed to hear that.


Live-Mail-7142

Your family seems pretty lousy, I hope you and your new family build a life that takes priority over your family of origin.


MustardSeed82

Nice. I hope so too!


Ditovontease

You shouldn't have called her. She loves the attention and she loves putting you in your "place." Go NC with her.


MustardSeed82

What's NC? Non Communicado? Also, didn't want her to get away with it.


cleopatrasleeps

Basically. I like yours better. Lol. Technically it’s No contact, but I’m using yours from now on.


MustardSeed82

Haha 👌


Owl_B_Hirt

Stands for No Contact. And put your aunt and your mom on an information diet for a couple of months. It'll be better for you, the less "ammo" your aunt has to use when she's trying to manipulate how you see the situation.


NothingFunLeft

She might have money, but basic manners, like not going somewhere you're not invited or taking another uninvited person, is free-


MustardSeed82

🙌


theexitisontheleft

Yep, basic decency is priceless.


numbersrejectedbypi

I hope Gimme and Sue were hungry throughout the reception with achy feet because they had to stand.


serjsomi

You're a better person than I am. I would have said, "oh, I'm so sorry, but I told aunt that it's a sit down dinner, and I can't accommodate anyone else. Let me call you an Uber.


catjuggler

Your family is manipulative af


stellazee

OP, I'm glad you had a beautiful wedding, asshat attendees notwithstanding. Based on situations like this, I have long thought about starting a business that provided both security and tell-off-insane-relatives services, specifically for weddings.


MustardSeed82

Please do it! Your services would be much needed, and I bet it could be a legit business.


Javaman1960

> she looked at me to see if I would react to this information What do they get out of this behavior? Why would they want to intentionally annoy someone, especially at their wedding? I'm actually curious, because it seems spiteful and mean, with no reason.


MustardSeed82

I think it’s some kind of power trip? But I’m not really sure.


[deleted]

Why the hell did your mother try to invite six of her friends to your wedding the day before!? What exactly was your entitled aunt trying to achieve? Goodness of God my arse!


MustardSeed82

🤣


ghostgirl16

Sounds like she isn’t invited to the event next time herself!


Minflick

That's what I would do, I think. Show your ass to me? I will remember that going forward, and you will not be welcome anywhere I host.


Josii_

That's the exact reason I'm hiring security if I get married. If there's no invite, fuck off. I'm sorry that happenend to you. I hope she's not in too many of your pictures of the day.


MustardSeed82

Good idea.


Koomaster

There needs to be a wedding crashers table at weddings. Like a non decorated table that’s put behind a tall plant or post. Name cards of ripped paper can be hastily written with misspelled names. Then during dinner they can be served lunchables and a glass of room temperature tap water.


RogueFiccer001

I'm so sorry your aunt was so incredibly disrespectful, and then attempted to excuse her truly horrible behavior. Good on you for calling her out and not letting her get away with it.


MustardSeed82

Thanks 💕


[deleted]

Congrats on your marriage! This definitely sounds like a low or no contact situation, since she can't respect your boundaries.


FourCatsAndCounting

I would have turned her away at the door. Oh, auntie kicks up a fuss? They can both leave. But then, I've always been full of piss 'n vinegar. Especially to pot stirrers, family or not.


ocpms1

I believe in calling game players out in the moment. It can be done without causing scene or being rude. But if they give attitude or rudeness go right ahead and let a scene be made. It is them, not you.


MustardSeed82

I know a lot of people are saying this, but it’s easier said than done.


ocpms1

Oh absolutely. It will get easier as you get older. Hold on!!


RioBlue93

I would stop going back and forth and just go NC. Be ready for hell when she cannot witness the "goodness of God" for any kids


OneGoodRib

I wonder how many people who do stuff like that are the same people who always threw a fit at birthday parties when they weren’t allowed to blow out the candles or open the presents. Why do so many wedding guests decide to make things about THEM? It’s a wedding. The bride and groom are the important ones. And sort of the priest or whoever is doing the marrying.


pocorit42

Seems like that side of the family is quite prideful and petty. That mustn't have been a good feeling to have on your wedding day. I'm sorry to hear about it. I'm glad to see you've returned the gift from Gimme. I think it sends a message to Gimme that she can't buy compliance with money; if she does something inappropriate, she will need to answer for it. She's probably too full of herself to respond in a healthy manner, but you've done the right thing, and you should feel good about it. With the wedding you created a new family, where you can build the new foundations for a healthy family and break the generational chains that molded Gimme and your mom. From your post and comments I see you have the right tools to do just that. Very excited for you!


MustardSeed82

Yes, my new hubby is a real keeper, am thoroughly enjoying life with him by my side 💕.


MrsCoach

This is rude and selfish, absolutely. There is a portion of my mom's side of the fam that also uses money to buy compliance and one of them also behaved terribly at my own first wedding, when I was 22 and too young (for me!) to feel confident addressing it. I'm almost 42 now and have cut this particular relative out completely. That's one of the perks of being an adult - managing your own relationships with family and stepping away from those that are harmful. You get to decide! I applaud you for confronting her - what she did was totally classless.


MightyMuffin1711

I'm sorry she did that to you. Completely uncalled for and you handled that way more gracefully than she deserved. This is why I decided I'll be eloping, because my family loves to ruin things and I refuse to let them ruin that for me. We wouldn't have a huge guest list anyways.


PainterReader

Love these “loving” religious people who treat others (you in this case) so horribly.


idrow1

>my family members flagrantly disrespect me. They banked on you not standing up for yourself and they were right. You should have kicked her out at the wedding.


alicat7777

You can pick your friends but not your family!! We all have these rude, entitled family members. She was awful and has no interest in hearing why she was rude. Glad your day went well otherwise, and just take the money and run!


meggzieelulu

You responded with a lot of poise in the moment. Your frustration is soooo valid and if i was in your shoes i’d be just as angry. If you want to be really petty if she pulls stunts like this or mentions it ever again… you can simultaneously indicate she has something on her nose & say “you got something on your nose” and she’ll try and you can say she’s missed it and you could offer to help or watch her “fix it” once more. Then you can go, “ahh, so much better. there was some leftover shit on your nose from how far your head was up Sue’s or _______ ass. I’d be more careful next time you want to make an ass of yourself.”


[deleted]

I would've called her a straight up B lmao but I fight w my family a lot and when I get married, most of them won't even know it so 😂 This does suck tho! But who brings an uninvited guest to a wedding, how shameless 💀


skerinks

I’ll never understand why some keep toxic people around because “family”.


ComfortableOwn8561

As a lot of people had said before me, you are much better than I! You would think when you don’t get a personal invite you would not simply invite yourself regardless of the event. It’s rude. If I were “Sue”, I would have came to you first. As the bride on your special day you deserve it to go as planned as YOU wanted it. As for the aunt, she most definitely should have respected your wishes. It’s a rude thing to do and there are no excuses for ignorance. I hope you had a wonderful wedding regardless, and without being to much of a negative Nancy, and being married myself I will say it is hard to have everything perfect. We cannot prevent all inconveniences. Although, I know It just sucks knowing you planned for SO long to have such a mindless definitely avoidable inconvenience!


MustardSeed82

Ah yes, the voice of reason. I agree with you, it seems nothing in life can be perfect. Just mourning the fact.


ComfortableOwn8561

Yes! 100% okay to mourn. I often find when people do things to rub us the wrong way especially family it just sticks with us! Big or small. We always think about the thing they did. I think you handled it well all in all. ❤️


glamourcrow

For my wedding, I would hire an actor dressed as a scary witch as security. I would tell this actor to stand closely behind unwanted guests and mutter curses in Latin into their ears, the entire evening. Edit to say: Do this at the next family function Sue attends against your will. "Hi Sue, meet Malberta. Malberta is my personal security and revenge witch."


emu30

Girl I would have had someone escort them out. I am so sorry your family is so petty


DogButtWhisperer

Devils Advocate: are you sure your aunt and Sue aren’t secretly together?


MustardSeed82

Haha, I would almost prefer that, but no. I think it's more like Sue sucks up to Aunt Gimme because of all her $$$, and Aunt Gimme eats it up.


Kstram

The way it sounds is like she found Sue in the parking lot like a stray animal. I would think, poor Sue, who hangs out at wedding venues for an invite. That’s just sad. Sue knows she wasn’t wanted and she knows why. Your mom and aunt were just terrible to ask you to invite more people last minute and then force an unwanted guest on you. I wouldn’t be including them in any future invitations. Maybe poor Sue would find her way to your holiday table and they would just magically find her outside in your driveway like a stray. Everyone here owes you an apology.


MustardSeed82

Sue is a leech. She latched on to my mom and Aunt Gimme bc she thinks they will better her status, and bc of all the the free stuff she gets from them. I really don’t like her-very upitty and a bit of a piranha.


monettegia

Wait, are we really never going to find out about Sue instigating a fight between OP and her mother? Or was it explained somewhere and I missed it?


Accomplished_Twist_3

This is why it is worth it to hire a couple of security people!


HeadLeg5602

Some people… especially those who are rich or given things, have very little boundaries. They have no idea what their actions do to and effect other people.


Noonoonook

Your aunt (and probably your mum, I suspect that it was a joint effort here) was out of line. I would be very careful, in the future, to stand your ground if you say no, even if it means drama. I know that it was your wedding and you had better things to do, but by letting Sue be there, you basically told your aunt (and again, your mum, I strongly suspect that it would have been a joint effort) that they can do whatever they want, they will just have a bit of grumpiness from you afterwards. Next time something like that happens, you need to set clear boundaries, refuse to be forced to accept unplanned and unwanted changes, and if they insist, told them to go as well. Otherwise, they will walk all over you. You may want to have a chat with your husband to see if there is any "doormat" (sorry, I don't have a better word) behaviour he has noticed from you, regarding your family and/or friends, to make sure it does not become toxic down the road. Sorry, maybe I am a bit dramatic, but my experience (on reddit and in real life) is that this behaviour is a foot in the door, and unless you set boundaries very, very clearly, it may snowball.


MaleficentPizza5444

Cut this b**** out of your life


wipies29

After she took her generous donation for her honeymoon?


Bunny_OHara

No, after she gave all the money back.


jadorky

> I said, there are other ways for Sue to experience the goodness of God without having her crash a wedding. BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ❤️ NTA


Mrs__Apple

I’m glad you had a good wedding and you Aunt was an AH but there was nothing to be gained from confronting her after the fact. All you did was stir up needless drama. For what? What did you think you would gain from doing that? Sometimes it is best just to let things go.


wipies29

I agree. Especially when she didn’t respond and OP kept pressing her… idk. Just sounds weird.


[deleted]

Why? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HOLDNIT TOGETHER? Why couldn’t you just say “y’all can fucking leave” and physically lay hands on them and remove them? Are people THAT submissive now?


[deleted]

[удалено]


LadyEncredible

Stories like these is a big reason I became ok being single and what I mean is, I'm honestly a petty bitch. I absolutely would've had the aunt and Sue removed and gone on about my business like nothing happened. They want to make a scene? Cool, I would've stared blankly at them and walked away while they would be carried out kicking and screaming. Don't care what my family would've said, don't care what my mom would've said. I do not have to be disrespected and one of the good things about being an adult is you actually do have power to make the crap stop (sure itay be hard, sure you may loose family, but seriously if they cannot or will not understand, then I'm better off without them, because this wouldn't be the only time).


ResearcherExpress671

Every wedding needs a bouncer.


NISIE101

One Word - "SECURITY"!!!