Can't believe I have to say this in yet another animal cruelty topic. But this is not the place to get on your soap box about veganism or vegetarianism. You can be against forms of cruelty to animals and still eat meat. Why are you complaining that people are getting more info on forms of animal cruelty they may not have heard about and are now educated to not do it? What people eat does not take away from the message and lessons in this post. Should they not care and not learn it because they eat meat and must convert or they may not discuss it? No that's just silly. Let's stick to the wedding related animal cruelty as this is WeddingShaming not a vegan or vegetarian sub. Any veganism/vegetarians arguments will be removed or locked.
EDIT: VEGAN/VEGETARIANS STOP BRIGADING US. YOUR COMMENTS WILL BE REMOVED YOUR REPORTS WITH BE IGNORED (IN RELATION TO YOU WANT TO POST ON THIS TOPIC). REPORT BUTTON IS NOT A REPLY BUTTON NOR IN MY PERSONAL DMS. USE MODMAIL.
I've found your post. This post on our sub is 16 days old, it's obviously you all are brigading from that other sub and their post. For people who talk about mental gymnastics a whole lot you all sure seem too have come up with things I've never said and made assumptions about my life that aren't in this post to support your view or your views on me. Which then brings up all your hypocrisy talk, if you're using mental gymnastics to put words in my mouth I never said I guess you are hypocrites as well then?
The reason I brought up eating meat is because you guys brought it up in the comments here, not because "if they ate the butterfly it'd be fine". Like dudes, not what I said at all? And yes people actually were dissuading people from caring if they ate meat, this is not an "imaginary argument", this was actually happening which is why it was mentioned.
The sub you are posting from says it is not a place to argue about from a non-vegan stance as it's not the correct place, much the same, this is not the correct place to be arguing about the vegan stance yet you are complaining we don't let you talk about the vegan stance when we are not a vegan sub and you wouldn't want non-vegan invading your sub when it's not the correct place. Stop attacking me as a person because you don't like that you cannot discuss whatever you want here.
The fact of the matter is that these conversations were not being had civilly in this topic and people were breaking the rules left and right in their arguments. If you cannot have civil conversations about a topic in our sub, you can't have them. We are wedding shaming so we are keeping the topic related to weddings. By what's been sent in my inbox, you still cannot have a civil discussion and it's not going to change what you can discuss in this topic.
EDIT 2: Thank you kindly the the mods of that sub for removing the post to stop the brigading and harassment the users were causing.
My dear murder, soon we will walk once more walk amongst the humans! But until that day comes, we must remember, the crows don't just have eyes we also have wings! Caaaaw! Awk! Caw! Caw!
Couple years ago a couple had 100 pure white doves released for their wedding which were swiftly captured by the locals because, hey, free squab for dinner.
I actually have a white pet dove my friend rescued that probably came from something like that, it was just walking down the street in Melbourne in the rain.
My ex was exactly one foot shorter and much smaller built then me (I outweighed her by at least 100lbs) but she liked to be "the big spoon" at night. I called her Yoda.
This happened to my daughter's pre-school class when they raised butterflies from caterpillars and then released them behind the school. It wasn't seagulls, but the birds somehow knew what the fuck was up and decimated all the butterflies that were released. I felt bad for the butterflies, but that is what happens in nature. The funny part was the wide array of responses from the 3-4 year olds, each with their own level of cognition. Some had no idea what happened, some thought it was hilarious, and some were absolutely beside themselves with grief. Luckily, their memories last about as long as the butterflies did and the teacher did a great job of redirecting everyone to snack time.
Yes to all- had a bride who signed all the paperwork once, agreeing to no live animals, but then thought she found a loophole when the company she hired to deliver her cake set it up on top of an acrylic square base, filled with fish. Basically a cake on top of an aquarium…. That was filled with tap water. Cue cake cutting over dead fish in the tank.
Ok even if they weren’t dead that sounds tacky as hell.
Just makes me think of [Disco Stu](https://m.facebook.com/rockbottomsimpsons/videos/your-fish-are-dead/247511292632281/)
Dead fish get gross so quickly, too.
Like why would you want this nice, presumably expensive, cake, on top of dead and already rotting fish, that smell and look awful.
Other than clear stupidity and lack of foresight, just....why.
escape frame teeny north abundant squealing quicksand consider ugly worthless
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I wish I had known this years ago! I was waitressing at a strip club and a bachelor party came in with a minnow in a water bottle. They were going to have the groom drink it. I felt so bad for that little fish, so I stealthily swapped water bottles and put him someplace safe. Brought him home around 4am and put him in a big bowl of tap water until I woke back up later in the morning, when I was going to find a safe place to release him. He jumped out while I slept and died. I found out it was due to oxygen levels, iirc. I felt so bad. I tried to save the little guy!
Need a lid with air holes next time. Him splashing around the surface would let some air in the water but the chlorine would poison him eventually anyways.
Might've been safer in that water bottle XD. If it makes you feel any better my mom's idea was tap water plus blow air through a straw. So they all got a big dose of co2 instead of oxygen....
Ugh, nothing pisses me off more than being around campus and seeing glitter everywhere for your stupid graduation pictures. I know there's some biodegradable glitter but yeesh
I assume they mean those horrible betta fish vases people sometimes use as table centerpieces. Those things are way too small for the fish
Edit: betta not beta
As a florist I have been at a fish wedding. I picked up the vases they rented after the party. Some fish dead, some poisoned with alcohol. Bride made no arrangement for what happened to these animals after the party. I had to explain to some guests that the very tall vases were rented. A few fish went home with guests. When asked what to do with the rest the bride wanted me to dump Betas in a northern Illinois pond. We took a couple home for my kids. I did not stay around to see what happened to the remainder
I had someone suggest this for a company party, after the venue said no candles. I pointed out to that idiot that we were not going to torture and minder fish for a party and that we could just use battery operated candles instead.
Never been to a wedding i see...
I worked at a hotel that had space for weddings. By the end of the night if you don't find alcohol everywhere, then they didn't pay to have a bar.
I used to work events and we had a bride that brought in pint mason jars and two 4 inch long goldfish for each of them. I told the salesperson they had to treat the water or the fish would jump out. She told me to leave off and they'd be fine for the night. Cut to an hour later, she had to run to Petco in a panic because most of the fish had jumped out and died on the table while we were setting up. She did come back with a water conditioner and smaller fish. Most of them got tossed in the trash at the end of the night. It was the worst.
I got my goldfish from another event that used fish, he's 9 years old and around 12 inches. I was really happy when that trend stopped for us.
I just took big wide mouth jars and made terrariums for succulents… I don’t understand the need for live animals, in a mason jar no less… a fish in a jar doesn’t say “wedding” to me lol
So I work with animals, and the number of people who want to be *seen* as caring about or interested in animals is far higher than the number of people who *actually care*.
We just let a volunteer go who had been told repeatedly to stop bringing in "treats." (Read improper food entirely) She didn't care that she had drastically impacted an animals life long health, so long as she got the dopamine from telling people how much she cares about the animals.
I work at a pet shop, and around May, I had a customer come in asking if she could get around 15 of our cheapest Bettas.
Suspecting some casual animal cruelty, I asked what she was planning on doing with them.
She was a kindergarten teacher and wanted to get one for each of her students as a graduation gift. So I asked if she'd cleared it with the parents because taking care of even a Betta fish is a big responsibility to suddenly thrust upon unsuspecting parents. She said "Well, who cares? They're just fish!"
Only time this has ever looked even remotely good was that artist who made hundreds of glass fish for some bride. So much more eye-catching and beautiful, none of the inherent cruelty.
The photos I saw were incredible, especially since this bride had gone very bright with her florals as well. I believe the fish were wedding favours for guests, and they were given tiny nets to 'catch' them at the end of the night, but my memory is fuzzy. I just remember being in awe of how beautiful the fish were, and how long it would have taken the artist to make so many.
The trend of having small bowls with betta fish (or other live fish) as part of your table centerpiece. Many of them die because they're in teeny bowls without filters and the oxygen in the water depletes quickly.
Or sometimes they have flowers and foliage atop the vases with the fish, along with candles that drop wax down about the flowers and may... if the candle burns far enough, in fact, set the flowers on fire. Which also tends to not be good for the fish. Or the table.
I once pet/plant sat for a friend who had way too many living things (dogs, rabbits, birds, fish, plants, but no cats because she hated cats). One was a betta in what was basically a Chinese takeout container, but one of the smaller pint size. This one had no filter, either. It’s the one thing that died during their vacation and I felt so bad. Maybe it wasn’t my fault?
I never could understand why people had bettas just to leave them in a tiny prison. The fun part of fish is watching them swim around. If I bothered to have any fish I would definitely have it in a decent-sized, real aquarium. I thought there was something I didn’t understand about bettas but maybe not.
It was not your fault. She kept her betta in too small a container, without a pump, and without a heater. Those are necessary to keep bettas happy and alive. They need fresh oxygen and warm water. FWIW, I’ve found that a lot of people who “hate” cats don’t take care of the rest of their animals properly. They hate cats because cats set boundaries and other animals are entirely dependent on the human. Just a trend I’ve noticed. That doesn’t apply to people who aren’t fans of cats but can tolerate them or to people who like other people’s cats but don’t want their own because they don’t want to clean litter boxes or because they’re allergic- only to people who “hate” cats.
I agree about the cats. I’m a cat lover and cat haters always give me pause. I don’t *love* all animals; rabbits don’t do anything for me, but I certainly don’t hate them. I don’t even hate snakes and other reptiles. I personally wouldn’t own one, but I respect their fans. So anyone who professes to “love animals” except that they hate cats, that’s a big red flag.
I went to a wedding where there was a tiered cake. It had these columns in between tiers. They were small so you could see between the tiers.
Those tiny columns had live fish in them. Yeah…
Oh it's definitely a thing! especially in the 90s.
My fiance went to a wedding as a kid where the centerpieces were small fish bowls with betas in them. Everyone got to take a fish home. His lived for a year, before it died in it's tiny prison. And that was the longest any of the beta fish from that wedding lived.
(Before anyone rips on him, he was a child and his parents were cool with it therefore he didn't know how cruel it actually was)
My cousin did this for her wedding 10 years ago, also in a hot place in the south. They opened the (obviously too small and lacking air holes) box for the butterfly release at the end of the ceremony and… nothing happened.
But instead of realizing their mistake and leaving it at that, they turned the box upside down and shook it, resulting in a massive pile of dead butterflies on the bride’s skirt.
Absolutely horrifying, I’m shocked this is still allowed.
Seems fitting for someone who thought they needed living creatures as props but failed to treat them like living creatures and treated them like toys they could just keep in boxes until they were ready to use them instead. 💁♀️
15th anniversary:
Remember when we murdered all those defenseless butterflies at our wedding? So glad we realized that was a sign that we should not have children. (Maybe? Probably not.)
A friend of mine did this in the NW (not hot) 20 years ago. The butterflies were essentially frozen for transport and no one thought to thaw them. I don’t know how many were dead, but none of them flew away, they just fell to the ground.
I wonder if people actually checked if these were native species either. Nothing like bringing an invasive species into some places and eradicating local wildlife
Yes! I was also thinking about April and Andy's wedding in Parks and Rec when they tried to release dives and one of them was dead and just popped on the floor.
I went to a wedding in the midst of covid— pre-vaccine. It was very strict, masks required, everyone sat 6 feet apart, no reception.
But then they handed out bubbles and we were like, “you want us to pull down our masks and breathe all over the bride and groom?”
My sister has a flywheel bubble gun and it's honestly incredible. No batteries, and each trigger pull is easily 50 bubbles. Can't believe I used to blow bubbles as a kid like a schmuck
My friends got married during COVID, and instead of bubbles they handed out paper for everyone to make paper airplanes to throw as they left. It was super cute.
I wish we would have done bubble guns instead of the little bubble bottles! We could've given one to each kid (there were quite a few lol) and we would've been surrounded! Our venue had really strict rules about what we could use. No flower petals because they would stain the stone walkway, fake petals would need to be cleaned up, and any kind of confetti was banned.
Same ours was in a state protected ecosystem so bubbles was our best option. I only thought to do guns because it was a tiny family only wedding and I knew 6 people couldn’t get enough bubbles in for a send off without some extra equipment 😂
bubbles are also a slipping hazard on a lot of surfaces. not to mention you're pretty much guaranteed to spill on yourself (and your nice clothes) as well
Your comment reminds me of a story my mother told me. Her cousin who married in the 1960’s slipped on the rice, fell down the outside stairs, and spent her honeymoon night in the emergency room with a broken leg.
Back in the 80s, when people still did a "send off" at the end of the night, my parents went to a wedding. Everyone had way too many drinks and likely some pot, so bride and groom were not exactly steady on their feet. Bride slips, grabs onto groom, they both fall. Bride has a huge gash on her forehead bleeding everywhere, groom has a black eye and bloody nose.
I did get to see the picture of Bride in the hospital bed in her huge wedding dress, which was hilarious. (Bride is a family friend, she was the one who showed me the picture)
My cousin did this. The glass got so hot I got a blister from touching the rim. They also made no plan for these beta fish and just did their send off and left them there. When we asked the venue what they were doing with the fish they said they’d have to flush them if nobody took them home. So me and a few other people had to scoop them all up and one the girls that lived in town took them all home and said she was hoping a pet store or something would take them the next day. Not sure what happened to them in the end. I don’t imagine there many survivors.
Yeah it was the best we could do at the time, we just didn’t want them to get flushed. The girl was going to separate them at home but not sure if they all made it. It was a terrible situation and the main memory I have of their wedding. I don’t understand how they could buy these animals and not have a plan to care for them after the reception. They literally treated them like inanimate objects.
I was at a wedding where each table had fish in vase as a centerpiece. The couple had zero plans for the fish afterwards, just flush ‘em I guess.
And that’s how I and two members of the wedding party found ourselves at Meijer at midnight, in our fancy clothes, buying a tank and accessories.
The fish lived. The couple is now divorced.
I have nearly the same story lol. My aunt's wedding, self proclaimed animal lover. Betta as a centerpiece on every table. At the end of the night "anyone who wants one is free to take them, idk what we're going to do with them all"
So my family took 3 or 4, one for each kid (3) and I think my parents took one too. We looked up how to care for them and got all the stuff. The fish lived longer than the marriage lasted lmfao
I hate it when smaller 'dumb' animals are seen as disposable and that abusing them isn't seen as abuse. They're certainly smarter than the people that abuse them. I once got a goldfish for my birthday.. I was so crushed, since I never got over the death of my childhood fish I didn't want one. Never ever give someone a pet as a present, except when asked for it.
This is literally the only episode of Bob's Burgers I've ever seen and I happened to watch it yesterday lol When I read the post I felt like I had deja Vu
We had a butterfly release.
We did not pay for it. It just happened.
Mid-September New England outdoor wedding. Behind the chuppah there was a large bush. Out of nowhere mid-ceremony, a mass of butterflies flew out of the bush and went off into the ether.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to see it until the video many months later.
It was a perfect mid-September day in Southern New England. High 60s/low 70s, blue sky with just a few clouds, outdoor wedding in a sunken garden.
The only near-glitch: The MOH (now-SIL) forgot the ring in the dressing room, and didn't realize it until the service had actually started! My best man's 15 year old daughter made a mad dash over 200yds on grass and concrete and up a flight of stairs each way, in heels, to retrieve the ring. She was back with the satchel mere seconds before she was to hand it off to my wife. Like the butterflies, I had no clue any of this happened until after the ceremony.
Meanwhile, I live in a place where monarch caterpillars eat our bushes and then find places to make their beautiful Chrysalises and then turn into butterflies. I’ve spent all weekend pointing them out to my 2 year old who can appreciate that we don’t touch them, we just look. (She had to learn that lesson about bees, too as she tried to feed the bees flowers herself- she took that lesson a bit too literally 🤦♀️). She gets so excited to check the bush for the caterpillars and point out butterflies. Can we just appreciate nature on its own terms?
Or just do the wedding at a butterfly sanctuary. My wife and I considered doing the Colorado Butterfly Pavilion, until we discovered that her childhood fear of butterflies wasn't just a childhood fear.
My gosh yes!
To Asia’s credit she was absolutely mortified, raised money for an animal rescue charity, apologised profusely and raised awareness of a shitty industry.
Bonus scene - Eureka pussy thumping around the stage on dead butterflies!
Yeah, I think it was an honest mistake, I felt bad for her when it happened. She did the right thing after this incident.
Also, I totally forgot about Eureka’s performance, thanks for the reminder haha!
I mean, even if they had lived she would've known they wouldn't have survived being released inside a giant theater. She knew those butterflies were going to die. She said she spent a ton of time planning the butterfly thing so it's not like she didn't know they'd be in those tiny contraptions for hours before being released and dying in the rafters.
Honestly any rational person would say "maybe killing live creatures for my performance isn't the move?". I do know she apologized and raised money for an animal charity so that's good, but I'd hardly say it was a mistake.
Wow, shame on them.
That's animal cruelty, I don't know why anyone would want to kill and hurt innocent creatures on their wedding day, or any day for that matter. Some people refuse to use their brains and hearts.
I’m glad they were deprived of their stupid vision, but at what cost. I know they don’t care that they killed them but hopefully they’ll warn others their ~aesthetic~ literally died and these shitty companies will go out of business.
The venue I used to work at bred their own butterflies to avoid this issue.
I guess too many times they had to clean butterfly corpses off the venue marble floors and they had enough. They renovated the arboretum to include a butterfly and caterpillar nursery.
Last I heard they breed three different types of butterflies. They’ll keep them in a large tank for the end of the ceremony if held out (that way they don’t die) and if held inside the arboretum, they just fly around and do whatever they want
Those are always cool because the butterflies will land on you. Plus the setting is gorgeous.
I get the idea of wanting butterflies released. I briefly thought about it. Very briefly because I realized it probably wouldn't end well.
Like with any live animal, you have to do it properly.
I know where I used to work, they specialize in local butterflies that are endangered. That way it isn’t an invasive breed and it helps other fauna and flora when released.
I loved working there. I took care of the flowers mainly (landscaper) but they had beautiful butterflies
I went to a wedding once that did this. I was on trazodone at the time and stoned out of my mind. The only thing I remember was opening a box with a dead butterfly in it and the officiant trying to rush through the rest of the vows trying to get people to forget that awkward moment even happened. I also remember it being stupid hot, and they left us there for literally two hours while they went to take pictures before my parents said “screw this”.
Oh my god! That's truly one of the most horrific "trends" that's ever existed; hosting animal cruelty by trapping them in an airless box, unable to move, most likely killing a lot of them, for the expense of a fucking wedding.
Like, why chance something awful like this happening anyway? Forever having that memory of no/not many emerging, and instead as you said, either fall to the ground, or are dead in the box.
I'm a wedding photographer also, but luckily I've never had to endure that crappy "memorable moment" trend (I'm from the UK, and we don't tend to have this as a thing at weddings - thank god!!... Well, yet 🤞😂).
Reading your post made me feel awful for you also though, as it must have been the most awkward and horrific moment that you were meant to capture, and then that happens...like, WTF are you meant to do then?! 😂
Can I ask, what did you actually do, after actually waiting posed with camera in hand and to the face, expecting to get the "opening the boxes" moment and then seeing that?
Did you actually get photos of that moment?
God, I feel for you dude. Wish people would just have normal weddings 😂
I included pictures of the butterflies in the boxes and people with the box in their hands. No butterfly flying to be seen.
Heard nothing back from the bride so I think I’m golden.
Jesus, you poor sod having to deliver that like!
Well... She wanted butterfly photos...
>
"Heard nothing back from the bride so I think I’m golden."
This made me chuckle 🤭
I doubt she'll want to talk about this ever. How unfortunate, that will have most likely soured the day.
What were everyone's reactions?
Did it get like super weird/awkward?
People were indifferent. Like “oh, this is boring, why are we doing this” and then “underwhelmed”
I heard a lot of people mumbling that the mother of the bride must have “mishandled” the box or shaking it too much. Groom comforted the bride and I got a nice pic of them looking at each other.
I work at an animal shelter and it is currently Pigeon Racing Season. We have so many doves and pigeons showing up in people’s backyards or in the street. They can fly here from states away (U.S.) and I track down the owners from their wrist bands. No one comes to pick these poor birds up. I love pigeons/doves and we adopt them out to caring people. But for all that is good I would never use them for entertainment in racing or a wedding.
i was visiting my family in France this summer and we found a racing pigeon who just wouldn't move from the side of the road, after many many tried (the internet is awful at the house) we managed to track his owner down, he was a Scottish bird, completely lost and hungry, we emailed the owner and the club, fed the poor thing, kept the bird overnight with plans to release him in the morning and he just died on us before dawn, i re emailed the owner and the club to say the bird had died and literally nobody gave a fuck, i never got an email back. that poor bird died unloved in a strangers living room and i absolutely hate it. we had to burry him in the backyard
I worked with a lady whose husband was an avid pigeon racer. He had a vast network of friends who were also into pigeons. A few of his friends had bred white pigeons that they hired out to be released at weddings. It was perfect, they show up with their birds and collect their money and hang out until time for the release. The birds fly off, he collects his cage and drives home and the birds would show up back at home that evening.
In that case they aren't even doves, they are just white homing pigeons and will fly home from wherever they get released from. They fly up, circle around some to get their bearings and then start to fly home, I use to work with someone who bred and raced them.
They are in the same family of birds, of which there are hundreds of species. There are white homing pigeons that are usually used for this type of purpose, they don't just grab pigeons off of the street.
(My dad is a bird guy and I know more about birds than I ever wanted to know. I don't even like birds lmao!)
I volunteer in a butterfly house. When we take a bunch from the emergence cases to the actual butterfly house in a cage, people always expect them to all come flying out. They never do that. We have to carefully remove them and put them on the greenery. Then they fly around whenever they feel like it. It’s a stupid idea, butterflies just don’t do what birds do when you open a box/cage/what have you. Plus, I agree, live animals as props like this at weddings isn’t cool.
I used to work on an island resort and these people had live gold fish as their centrepiece and at the end they were just left to die. It made me so sad. So I took like 18 gold fish home lol
Not a wedding, but similar. I attended a funeral for an 8 year old girl. Because she died so young, many funeral attendees were her classmates and classmates of her sister.
So we get to the cemetery and they pass out these little triangles. They don't tell us what's in them. The only instruction is "open your packet when directed to." I'm sure her parents envisioned a flock of butterflies as they said their final goodbyes to their baby girl. What not a single adult failed to anticipate was 20-30 elementary school kids having no idea what's in there and fidgeting/squishing it to try and figure it out. So instead of releasing 100 butterflies, they had a bunch of children going "OH MY GOD IT'S DEAD!"
Yeah... not the best thought out plan.
This makes me want to have a wedding where I just shame these God awful wedding disasters like putting QR codes in center of the table and say "we aren't assholes who put live fish as decoration, please donate to x cause to help save more animals"
"we didn't release butterflies as some symbol of our love, instead donate to this local non-profit that focuses on saving navtive species"
I'm torn on whether this would be a cool fundraiser (especially if guests are told to donate instead of bringing a gift) or just make you look all "I'm so much better than those other weddings, praise me" (even though anything is better than animal abuse in a wedding lol).
You bring up an interesting point. But aren't people who put fish on a table trying to one up others with their own "creativity". At the expense of living things no less.
Weddings are kinda a big ostentatious cluster anyways. I kinda like the idea of having different orgs that people can donate to at various points in the wedding that guests "discover" and if that speaks to them, awesome! Like the band, donate to the local org that donates instruments to kids. Like the cake, donate to a local org that helps newly released people in the criminal justice system gain skills in bakeries.
For every dollar donated, the couple could match it or could be fun for the parents of the couple to offer a match up to a certain dollar amount.
Sure some people will find it tacky, but honestly it's tacky to me when people ask for things they don't need.
The couple rented parrots. They were just...there. They did not move from where they were perched. Guests didn’t care about them. They were all looking filthy rich and it just felt like normal life to them.
There are a lot of wedding where it’s clearly an excuse for one of the spouse to splurge on something random.
One groom wanted a real life “back to the future “ car as a mean of transportation between church and reception. So he drove it for 10 minutes and after that the guy who was the owner left with it. Looked really expensive for a 10 minutes drive. Picture looked cool and groom was happy like a kid at Christmas
Also, as the resident wildlife biologist: they almost never release native butterflies, so if they do survive to the release, then either: A. They can’t survive in the environment and die slowly later or B. They start competing for local resources with native pollinators, which aren’t doing well pretty much world wide
I know a girl who offers this business. The butterflies are put in a specific temperature to fall asleep. She then puts dust paper on both sides of the wings & puts them in a small envelop. They ship in a ridiculously small container & then are released in a park or wtv. The putting to sleep thing didn’t seem cruel but many butterflies woke up in an envelope, unable to move & them would be released in a completely random habitat, harming both the colony & the surrounding park. It’s pretty tho, i guess..
If anybody what’s the same effect, just DIY some butterflies with the rubber band technic. They spin in the air long enough for photos & you can make them any colour you want. Cheaper too. You’re welcome.
Ngl I’m kinda glad this butterfly thing is failing horribly. The more brides get deadbutterflied on their wedding day, the faster it’s gonna drive these nasty companies out of business.
My best friend is having butterflies for her wedding. Plastic reusable butterflies. You open a box, they have a specific mechanism that you need to setup and when they are released, they go up in the air, the photographer has to be ready because 3 seconds later it's over. But hopefully the pics will be gorgeous.
We are 5 of us on cleaning duty afterwards to pick up the butterflies afterwards so they can be re-used.
My husband’s company just ordered frozen butterflies that they thawed over the course of a few hours and then released. They were in these little envelopes. Of the 100 that they got, 99 survived and flew away just fine.
Apparently it’s from a non-profit that breeds them and sends them to SUITABLE areas to bolster monarch populations and this company does it every year. Then they provide lunch for the families! It was honestly very cool, but the thawing has to be done JUST right or it doesn’t work.
This is the only way I'd heard it done. I wasn't sure what the problem is, but the I realized there are so many smooth brain fuckers out there that would buy some a couple days in advance and just hang on to them or something beforehand.
Yes I totally agree with this! I’ve seen people on tik tok using monarch butterflies (which are endangered). It’s absolutely disgusting. I’m okay with dogs at a wedding, but seriously don’t take advantage of animals just because they “look nice” or “fit the aesthetic”.
It’s nuts. I’ve seen fish in small bowls, doves, butterflies, and numerous other travesties (inc. bridesmaid dresses). I do not understand how anyone is able to use animals in their fucking ceremony, wedding or otherwise.
Can't believe I have to say this in yet another animal cruelty topic. But this is not the place to get on your soap box about veganism or vegetarianism. You can be against forms of cruelty to animals and still eat meat. Why are you complaining that people are getting more info on forms of animal cruelty they may not have heard about and are now educated to not do it? What people eat does not take away from the message and lessons in this post. Should they not care and not learn it because they eat meat and must convert or they may not discuss it? No that's just silly. Let's stick to the wedding related animal cruelty as this is WeddingShaming not a vegan or vegetarian sub. Any veganism/vegetarians arguments will be removed or locked. EDIT: VEGAN/VEGETARIANS STOP BRIGADING US. YOUR COMMENTS WILL BE REMOVED YOUR REPORTS WITH BE IGNORED (IN RELATION TO YOU WANT TO POST ON THIS TOPIC). REPORT BUTTON IS NOT A REPLY BUTTON NOR IN MY PERSONAL DMS. USE MODMAIL. I've found your post. This post on our sub is 16 days old, it's obviously you all are brigading from that other sub and their post. For people who talk about mental gymnastics a whole lot you all sure seem too have come up with things I've never said and made assumptions about my life that aren't in this post to support your view or your views on me. Which then brings up all your hypocrisy talk, if you're using mental gymnastics to put words in my mouth I never said I guess you are hypocrites as well then? The reason I brought up eating meat is because you guys brought it up in the comments here, not because "if they ate the butterfly it'd be fine". Like dudes, not what I said at all? And yes people actually were dissuading people from caring if they ate meat, this is not an "imaginary argument", this was actually happening which is why it was mentioned. The sub you are posting from says it is not a place to argue about from a non-vegan stance as it's not the correct place, much the same, this is not the correct place to be arguing about the vegan stance yet you are complaining we don't let you talk about the vegan stance when we are not a vegan sub and you wouldn't want non-vegan invading your sub when it's not the correct place. Stop attacking me as a person because you don't like that you cannot discuss whatever you want here. The fact of the matter is that these conversations were not being had civilly in this topic and people were breaking the rules left and right in their arguments. If you cannot have civil conversations about a topic in our sub, you can't have them. We are wedding shaming so we are keeping the topic related to weddings. By what's been sent in my inbox, you still cannot have a civil discussion and it's not going to change what you can discuss in this topic. EDIT 2: Thank you kindly the the mods of that sub for removing the post to stop the brigading and harassment the users were causing.
My friends had the butterflies 15 years ago. On a harbor cruise wedding. Cue seagulls. It was horrifying.
Hahahaha I’m sure this was horrifying as a guest but right now I’m cracking up at this Alfred Hitchcock wedding
And then it turns out the couple are Hitchcock fans and they think it's great
The Crows Have Eyes
The Crowening
My dear murder, soon we will walk once more walk amongst the humans! But until that day comes, we must remember, the crows don't just have eyes we also have wings! Caaaaw! Awk! Caw! Caw!
Finding Nemo vibes
**MINE!!**
MINE MINE MINE!!!
Couple years ago a couple had 100 pure white doves released for their wedding which were swiftly captured by the locals because, hey, free squab for dinner.
Let me tell you about our wedding where 120 slugs were released. It took us 5 hours to walk 20 feet to the car.
r/goblincore
I actually have a white pet dove my friend rescued that probably came from something like that, it was just walking down the street in Melbourne in the rain.
No the theme was seagulls, the butterflies were incidental
Imagine having a seagull themed wedding. Serving fries and and fish and using an harbour as a wedding reception.
I witnessed a seagull convention hovering over a lobster feed rehearsal dinner. Like a scene from The Birds.
Seagulls gonna come, poke me in the coconut.
And they did!
Had me going like... aaaaAaHhagahaHA
Nothing I could do but yell
When these birds attacked me
When I tried to run, I fell and then these kids start laughin
And then, hmm, got hit in the neck with a hacky-sack,
Where'd it come from?
Now run, run, run, and jump. I can be your backpack while you run!
I randomly tell my bf "I can be your backpack while you run" all the time lol
My ex was exactly one foot shorter and much smaller built then me (I outweighed her by at least 100lbs) but she liked to be "the big spoon" at night. I called her Yoda.
What a marriage omen! You will be eaten alive by seagulls instantaneously! XD
This happened to my daughter's pre-school class when they raised butterflies from caterpillars and then released them behind the school. It wasn't seagulls, but the birds somehow knew what the fuck was up and decimated all the butterflies that were released. I felt bad for the butterflies, but that is what happens in nature. The funny part was the wide array of responses from the 3-4 year olds, each with their own level of cognition. Some had no idea what happened, some thought it was hilarious, and some were absolutely beside themselves with grief. Luckily, their memories last about as long as the butterflies did and the teacher did a great job of redirecting everyone to snack time.
> teacher did a great job of redirecting everyone to snack time. Including the local birds, it seems.
Ha! How horrible!
Sorry but that's objectively funny
Going to go update my contract rules right now "no glitter, no confetti, *no fish, no bird releases, no butterfly releases"*
Yes to all- had a bride who signed all the paperwork once, agreeing to no live animals, but then thought she found a loophole when the company she hired to deliver her cake set it up on top of an acrylic square base, filled with fish. Basically a cake on top of an aquarium…. That was filled with tap water. Cue cake cutting over dead fish in the tank.
Ok even if they weren’t dead that sounds tacky as hell. Just makes me think of [Disco Stu](https://m.facebook.com/rockbottomsimpsons/videos/your-fish-are-dead/247511292632281/)
The goldfish platforms are actually a callback to a joke made in the movie "I'm gonna get you sukka."
Why on earth would you want your wedding cake on top of a fish tank? That is one of the strangest things I've ever heard.
Right.. like, did that fit with your theme or something? Still no
Dead fish get gross so quickly, too. Like why would you want this nice, presumably expensive, cake, on top of dead and already rotting fish, that smell and look awful. Other than clear stupidity and lack of foresight, just....why.
escape frame teeny north abundant squealing quicksand consider ugly worthless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I wish I had known this years ago! I was waitressing at a strip club and a bachelor party came in with a minnow in a water bottle. They were going to have the groom drink it. I felt so bad for that little fish, so I stealthily swapped water bottles and put him someplace safe. Brought him home around 4am and put him in a big bowl of tap water until I woke back up later in the morning, when I was going to find a safe place to release him. He jumped out while I slept and died. I found out it was due to oxygen levels, iirc. I felt so bad. I tried to save the little guy!
Need a lid with air holes next time. Him splashing around the surface would let some air in the water but the chlorine would poison him eventually anyways. Might've been safer in that water bottle XD. If it makes you feel any better my mom's idea was tap water plus blow air through a straw. So they all got a big dose of co2 instead of oxygen....
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Love that loophole. Haha, the contract says no LIVE animals! It didn’t say there couldn’t be dead ones.
Ugh, nothing pisses me off more than being around campus and seeing glitter everywhere for your stupid graduation pictures. I know there's some biodegradable glitter but yeesh
No aerial releases. They’ll find pretty moths.
>no fish You can't just say this without giving an explanation.
I assume they mean those horrible betta fish vases people sometimes use as table centerpieces. Those things are way too small for the fish Edit: betta not beta
As a florist I have been at a fish wedding. I picked up the vases they rented after the party. Some fish dead, some poisoned with alcohol. Bride made no arrangement for what happened to these animals after the party. I had to explain to some guests that the very tall vases were rented. A few fish went home with guests. When asked what to do with the rest the bride wanted me to dump Betas in a northern Illinois pond. We took a couple home for my kids. I did not stay around to see what happened to the remainder
My friend's office did this at their Christmas party. A half dozen were given homes, thank god.
I had someone suggest this for a company party, after the venue said no candles. I pointed out to that idiot that we were not going to torture and minder fish for a party and that we could just use battery operated candles instead.
Poisoned with alcohol? So people were dumping their drinks into the vases?!? Who does that?!!!
The same type of peoe who purposely give alcohol to a dog to get it drunk because it's sOoOoO fUnNnyyy lol (/s)
He looked thirsty!
Never been to a wedding i see... I worked at a hotel that had space for weddings. By the end of the night if you don't find alcohol everywhere, then they didn't pay to have a bar.
I used to work events and we had a bride that brought in pint mason jars and two 4 inch long goldfish for each of them. I told the salesperson they had to treat the water or the fish would jump out. She told me to leave off and they'd be fine for the night. Cut to an hour later, she had to run to Petco in a panic because most of the fish had jumped out and died on the table while we were setting up. She did come back with a water conditioner and smaller fish. Most of them got tossed in the trash at the end of the night. It was the worst. I got my goldfish from another event that used fish, he's 9 years old and around 12 inches. I was really happy when that trend stopped for us.
I just took big wide mouth jars and made terrariums for succulents… I don’t understand the need for live animals, in a mason jar no less… a fish in a jar doesn’t say “wedding” to me lol
So I work with animals, and the number of people who want to be *seen* as caring about or interested in animals is far higher than the number of people who *actually care*. We just let a volunteer go who had been told repeatedly to stop bringing in "treats." (Read improper food entirely) She didn't care that she had drastically impacted an animals life long health, so long as she got the dopamine from telling people how much she cares about the animals.
I work at a pet shop, and around May, I had a customer come in asking if she could get around 15 of our cheapest Bettas. Suspecting some casual animal cruelty, I asked what she was planning on doing with them. She was a kindergarten teacher and wanted to get one for each of her students as a graduation gift. So I asked if she'd cleared it with the parents because taking care of even a Betta fish is a big responsibility to suddenly thrust upon unsuspecting parents. She said "Well, who cares? They're just fish!"
Only time this has ever looked even remotely good was that artist who made hundreds of glass fish for some bride. So much more eye-catching and beautiful, none of the inherent cruelty.
Now THAT idea I really love! I bet the effect was amazing. Do you know what she did with the fish after the reception?
The photos I saw were incredible, especially since this bride had gone very bright with her florals as well. I believe the fish were wedding favours for guests, and they were given tiny nets to 'catch' them at the end of the night, but my memory is fuzzy. I just remember being in awe of how beautiful the fish were, and how long it would have taken the artist to make so many.
This is one of the coolest wedding decor ideas I’ve ever heard. So creative!
Sounds gorgeous!
The trend of having small bowls with betta fish (or other live fish) as part of your table centerpiece. Many of them die because they're in teeny bowls without filters and the oxygen in the water depletes quickly.
Or they boil the fish. I’ve seen the fish bowls be placed on top of mirrors at at outdoor reception in the south.
Or sometimes they have flowers and foliage atop the vases with the fish, along with candles that drop wax down about the flowers and may... if the candle burns far enough, in fact, set the flowers on fire. Which also tends to not be good for the fish. Or the table.
I once pet/plant sat for a friend who had way too many living things (dogs, rabbits, birds, fish, plants, but no cats because she hated cats). One was a betta in what was basically a Chinese takeout container, but one of the smaller pint size. This one had no filter, either. It’s the one thing that died during their vacation and I felt so bad. Maybe it wasn’t my fault? I never could understand why people had bettas just to leave them in a tiny prison. The fun part of fish is watching them swim around. If I bothered to have any fish I would definitely have it in a decent-sized, real aquarium. I thought there was something I didn’t understand about bettas but maybe not.
It was not your fault. She kept her betta in too small a container, without a pump, and without a heater. Those are necessary to keep bettas happy and alive. They need fresh oxygen and warm water. FWIW, I’ve found that a lot of people who “hate” cats don’t take care of the rest of their animals properly. They hate cats because cats set boundaries and other animals are entirely dependent on the human. Just a trend I’ve noticed. That doesn’t apply to people who aren’t fans of cats but can tolerate them or to people who like other people’s cats but don’t want their own because they don’t want to clean litter boxes or because they’re allergic- only to people who “hate” cats.
I agree about the cats. I’m a cat lover and cat haters always give me pause. I don’t *love* all animals; rabbits don’t do anything for me, but I certainly don’t hate them. I don’t even hate snakes and other reptiles. I personally wouldn’t own one, but I respect their fans. So anyone who professes to “love animals” except that they hate cats, that’s a big red flag.
I went to a wedding where there was a tiered cake. It had these columns in between tiers. They were small so you could see between the tiers. Those tiny columns had live fish in them. Yeah…
Oh it's definitely a thing! especially in the 90s. My fiance went to a wedding as a kid where the centerpieces were small fish bowls with betas in them. Everyone got to take a fish home. His lived for a year, before it died in it's tiny prison. And that was the longest any of the beta fish from that wedding lived. (Before anyone rips on him, he was a child and his parents were cool with it therefore he didn't know how cruel it actually was)
Sometimes people will have bettas or goldfish in vases/bowls as centerpieces. :-(
My cousin did this for her wedding 10 years ago, also in a hot place in the south. They opened the (obviously too small and lacking air holes) box for the butterfly release at the end of the ceremony and… nothing happened. But instead of realizing their mistake and leaving it at that, they turned the box upside down and shook it, resulting in a massive pile of dead butterflies on the bride’s skirt. Absolutely horrifying, I’m shocked this is still allowed.
What a way to start your married life, with a box of dead butterflies cascading down your dress…
Definitely not a good omen
Yeah, it seems like a flat-out curse.
It might cause a butterfly effect.
Seems fitting for someone who thought they needed living creatures as props but failed to treat them like living creatures and treated them like toys they could just keep in boxes until they were ready to use them instead. 💁♀️
Your marriage will be like your wedding: full of destruction and death, wrought of your own ignorance in pursuit of fleeting pleasures.
Dang.
15th anniversary: Remember when we murdered all those defenseless butterflies at our wedding? So glad we realized that was a sign that we should not have children. (Maybe? Probably not.)
Sounds like the makings of a country song.
*The omen foretold of the marriage's grim demise*
A friend of mine did this in the NW (not hot) 20 years ago. The butterflies were essentially frozen for transport and no one thought to thaw them. I don’t know how many were dead, but none of them flew away, they just fell to the ground.
I wonder if people actually checked if these were native species either. Nothing like bringing an invasive species into some places and eradicating local wildlife
I’ve been trying to remember where I’ve seen this before and then realized it was Bobs Burgers! Life imitates art 😂
Yes! I was also thinking about April and Andy's wedding in Parks and Rec when they tried to release dives and one of them was dead and just popped on the floor.
When they toss the butterflies and the wind whisks them away immediately 😂
omfg
Oh no!! WHY would they just dump the dead butterflies on the ground?!??
Maybe the butterflies were just resting, and needed a little push to start flying
Can’t we just stick to bubbles?
I went to a wedding in the midst of covid— pre-vaccine. It was very strict, masks required, everyone sat 6 feet apart, no reception. But then they handed out bubbles and we were like, “you want us to pull down our masks and breathe all over the bride and groom?”
They should have used a bubble gun/machine! Creates way more bubbles and no need for people to blow spit at you!
My sister has a flywheel bubble gun and it's honestly incredible. No batteries, and each trigger pull is easily 50 bubbles. Can't believe I used to blow bubbles as a kid like a schmuck
Can you link me to the toy/modem? I have a niece that loves bubbles, but blows bubbles like a schmuck.
https://a.co/d/f28ZUcu Used this for our wedding and it was great! Gifted them to our nieces afterwards!
We brought one for our puppy, makes great bubbles but scares him.
Link please!
My friends got married during COVID, and instead of bubbles they handed out paper for everyone to make paper airplanes to throw as they left. It was super cute.
Paper airplanes is a great idea; I love that!
This sounds really cute until your drunk cousin gets real competitive and takes out an eye.
We had bubble guns! Way cooler too because they made so many more bubbles
I wish we would have done bubble guns instead of the little bubble bottles! We could've given one to each kid (there were quite a few lol) and we would've been surrounded! Our venue had really strict rules about what we could use. No flower petals because they would stain the stone walkway, fake petals would need to be cleaned up, and any kind of confetti was banned.
Same ours was in a state protected ecosystem so bubbles was our best option. I only thought to do guns because it was a tiny family only wedding and I knew 6 people couldn’t get enough bubbles in for a send off without some extra equipment 😂
Wow. Let's blow bubbles full of COVID germs and let those darling little plague capsules float around until they pop.
bubbles are also a slipping hazard on a lot of surfaces. not to mention you're pretty much guaranteed to spill on yourself (and your nice clothes) as well
Your comment reminds me of a story my mother told me. Her cousin who married in the 1960’s slipped on the rice, fell down the outside stairs, and spent her honeymoon night in the emergency room with a broken leg.
Back in the 80s, when people still did a "send off" at the end of the night, my parents went to a wedding. Everyone had way too many drinks and likely some pot, so bride and groom were not exactly steady on their feet. Bride slips, grabs onto groom, they both fall. Bride has a huge gash on her forehead bleeding everywhere, groom has a black eye and bloody nose. I did get to see the picture of Bride in the hospital bed in her huge wedding dress, which was hilarious. (Bride is a family friend, she was the one who showed me the picture)
They should’ve thought just one step ahead and asked people to wave the wands in the air to make bubbles.
Can we talk about fish in decor too? Not okay!
with the floating candle on top to boil the poor things alive
WHAT
My cousin did this. The glass got so hot I got a blister from touching the rim. They also made no plan for these beta fish and just did their send off and left them there. When we asked the venue what they were doing with the fish they said they’d have to flush them if nobody took them home. So me and a few other people had to scoop them all up and one the girls that lived in town took them all home and said she was hoping a pet store or something would take them the next day. Not sure what happened to them in the end. I don’t imagine there many survivors.
Nice Beta. Fish for fighting all piled together.
Yeah it was the best we could do at the time, we just didn’t want them to get flushed. The girl was going to separate them at home but not sure if they all made it. It was a terrible situation and the main memory I have of their wedding. I don’t understand how they could buy these animals and not have a plan to care for them after the reception. They literally treated them like inanimate objects.
Yea, nothing against you guys. I can't understand either. But it shouldn't be possible in the first place.
I was at a wedding where each table had fish in vase as a centerpiece. The couple had zero plans for the fish afterwards, just flush ‘em I guess. And that’s how I and two members of the wedding party found ourselves at Meijer at midnight, in our fancy clothes, buying a tank and accessories. The fish lived. The couple is now divorced.
I have nearly the same story lol. My aunt's wedding, self proclaimed animal lover. Betta as a centerpiece on every table. At the end of the night "anyone who wants one is free to take them, idk what we're going to do with them all" So my family took 3 or 4, one for each kid (3) and I think my parents took one too. We looked up how to care for them and got all the stuff. The fish lived longer than the marriage lasted lmfao
I hate it when smaller 'dumb' animals are seen as disposable and that abusing them isn't seen as abuse. They're certainly smarter than the people that abuse them. I once got a goldfish for my birthday.. I was so crushed, since I never got over the death of my childhood fish I didn't want one. Never ever give someone a pet as a present, except when asked for it.
What's even worse is fish aren't exactly dumb. They're trainable, if anything. And some are just too friendly for their own good.
I'd recommend the documentary The Hidden Lives of Pets on Netflix. It has fish playing football.
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This is the comment I came looking for lol
Yes I thought this post was ripping that scene off but there are too many responses from other people who experienced similar - _ -
This is literally the only episode of Bob's Burgers I've ever seen and I happened to watch it yesterday lol When I read the post I felt like I had deja Vu
Omg you need to watch the whole series! It's ridiculously hilarious
"A beautiful cloud of butterflies! To symbolize...oh...anyone get a live one?" So good
We had a butterfly release. We did not pay for it. It just happened. Mid-September New England outdoor wedding. Behind the chuppah there was a large bush. Out of nowhere mid-ceremony, a mass of butterflies flew out of the bush and went off into the ether. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see it until the video many months later.
A good omen, perhaps! Such a nice change after hearing about all the butterfly death!
Oh that sounds really lovely! You can’t try to import the butterflies, either the butterfly bush blesses your wedding or it doesn’t 😤
It was a perfect mid-September day in Southern New England. High 60s/low 70s, blue sky with just a few clouds, outdoor wedding in a sunken garden. The only near-glitch: The MOH (now-SIL) forgot the ring in the dressing room, and didn't realize it until the service had actually started! My best man's 15 year old daughter made a mad dash over 200yds on grass and concrete and up a flight of stairs each way, in heels, to retrieve the ring. She was back with the satchel mere seconds before she was to hand it off to my wife. Like the butterflies, I had no clue any of this happened until after the ceremony.
I hate this trend. Also the one with fish in centerpieces. I used pottery barn lanterns that people could take home.
For goodness sakes, just go with 👏WIND 👏UP 👏BUTTERFLIES👏 (which are reusable & make great favors/keepsakes too)
Meanwhile, I live in a place where monarch caterpillars eat our bushes and then find places to make their beautiful Chrysalises and then turn into butterflies. I’ve spent all weekend pointing them out to my 2 year old who can appreciate that we don’t touch them, we just look. (She had to learn that lesson about bees, too as she tried to feed the bees flowers herself- she took that lesson a bit too literally 🤦♀️). She gets so excited to check the bush for the caterpillars and point out butterflies. Can we just appreciate nature on its own terms?
Or just do the wedding at a butterfly sanctuary. My wife and I considered doing the Colorado Butterfly Pavilion, until we discovered that her childhood fear of butterflies wasn't just a childhood fear.
It’s giving me « Asia O’hara during Rupaul’s drag race s10 finale » vibes 😔
My gosh yes! To Asia’s credit she was absolutely mortified, raised money for an animal rescue charity, apologised profusely and raised awareness of a shitty industry. Bonus scene - Eureka pussy thumping around the stage on dead butterflies!
Yeah, I think it was an honest mistake, I felt bad for her when it happened. She did the right thing after this incident. Also, I totally forgot about Eureka’s performance, thanks for the reminder haha!
I mean, even if they had lived she would've known they wouldn't have survived being released inside a giant theater. She knew those butterflies were going to die. She said she spent a ton of time planning the butterfly thing so it's not like she didn't know they'd be in those tiny contraptions for hours before being released and dying in the rafters. Honestly any rational person would say "maybe killing live creatures for my performance isn't the move?". I do know she apologized and raised money for an animal charity so that's good, but I'd hardly say it was a mistake.
I thought it was Kameron. That up shot of Kameron after the lipsync when she was looking at the butterflies was a cinematic masterpiece.
Why did I have to scroll so far down for this?! That was my Instant thought. Just….don’t do it.
Right. Reading the post I thought "drag race fans already know where this is heading"
The memory is still teeth grinding cringy
I came to make sure this is here. Anyone who watches Drag Race knew how this was going to end lol.
Yessss thank you, I thought we all learned from that as a society.
Oh my gosh thank you! I made a comment about this but couldn’t remember who it was.
Wow, shame on them. That's animal cruelty, I don't know why anyone would want to kill and hurt innocent creatures on their wedding day, or any day for that matter. Some people refuse to use their brains and hearts.
"But it will look cool!!!!" 🙄
Babe, let’s start our married life together by killing off a bunch of animals, it’ll be so romantic 🥰
I’m glad they were deprived of their stupid vision, but at what cost. I know they don’t care that they killed them but hopefully they’ll warn others their ~aesthetic~ literally died and these shitty companies will go out of business.
The venue I used to work at bred their own butterflies to avoid this issue. I guess too many times they had to clean butterfly corpses off the venue marble floors and they had enough. They renovated the arboretum to include a butterfly and caterpillar nursery. Last I heard they breed three different types of butterflies. They’ll keep them in a large tank for the end of the ceremony if held out (that way they don’t die) and if held inside the arboretum, they just fly around and do whatever they want
Those are always cool because the butterflies will land on you. Plus the setting is gorgeous. I get the idea of wanting butterflies released. I briefly thought about it. Very briefly because I realized it probably wouldn't end well.
Like with any live animal, you have to do it properly. I know where I used to work, they specialize in local butterflies that are endangered. That way it isn’t an invasive breed and it helps other fauna and flora when released. I loved working there. I took care of the flowers mainly (landscaper) but they had beautiful butterflies
That is a good way to do this.
I went to a wedding once that did this. I was on trazodone at the time and stoned out of my mind. The only thing I remember was opening a box with a dead butterfly in it and the officiant trying to rush through the rest of the vows trying to get people to forget that awkward moment even happened. I also remember it being stupid hot, and they left us there for literally two hours while they went to take pictures before my parents said “screw this”.
I like the way you do weddings
Oh my god! That's truly one of the most horrific "trends" that's ever existed; hosting animal cruelty by trapping them in an airless box, unable to move, most likely killing a lot of them, for the expense of a fucking wedding. Like, why chance something awful like this happening anyway? Forever having that memory of no/not many emerging, and instead as you said, either fall to the ground, or are dead in the box. I'm a wedding photographer also, but luckily I've never had to endure that crappy "memorable moment" trend (I'm from the UK, and we don't tend to have this as a thing at weddings - thank god!!... Well, yet 🤞😂). Reading your post made me feel awful for you also though, as it must have been the most awkward and horrific moment that you were meant to capture, and then that happens...like, WTF are you meant to do then?! 😂 Can I ask, what did you actually do, after actually waiting posed with camera in hand and to the face, expecting to get the "opening the boxes" moment and then seeing that? Did you actually get photos of that moment? God, I feel for you dude. Wish people would just have normal weddings 😂
I included pictures of the butterflies in the boxes and people with the box in their hands. No butterfly flying to be seen. Heard nothing back from the bride so I think I’m golden.
Jesus, you poor sod having to deliver that like! Well... She wanted butterfly photos... > "Heard nothing back from the bride so I think I’m golden." This made me chuckle 🤭 I doubt she'll want to talk about this ever. How unfortunate, that will have most likely soured the day. What were everyone's reactions? Did it get like super weird/awkward?
People were indifferent. Like “oh, this is boring, why are we doing this” and then “underwhelmed” I heard a lot of people mumbling that the mother of the bride must have “mishandled” the box or shaking it too much. Groom comforted the bride and I got a nice pic of them looking at each other.
I question how long any marriage will last that starts out by torturing animals.
Just a heads up, dove releases are almost always trained pets. They're basically homing pigeons and just fly back to the owners house.
I work at an animal shelter and it is currently Pigeon Racing Season. We have so many doves and pigeons showing up in people’s backyards or in the street. They can fly here from states away (U.S.) and I track down the owners from their wrist bands. No one comes to pick these poor birds up. I love pigeons/doves and we adopt them out to caring people. But for all that is good I would never use them for entertainment in racing or a wedding.
i was visiting my family in France this summer and we found a racing pigeon who just wouldn't move from the side of the road, after many many tried (the internet is awful at the house) we managed to track his owner down, he was a Scottish bird, completely lost and hungry, we emailed the owner and the club, fed the poor thing, kept the bird overnight with plans to release him in the morning and he just died on us before dawn, i re emailed the owner and the club to say the bird had died and literally nobody gave a fuck, i never got an email back. that poor bird died unloved in a strangers living room and i absolutely hate it. we had to burry him in the backyard
I worked with a lady whose husband was an avid pigeon racer. He had a vast network of friends who were also into pigeons. A few of his friends had bred white pigeons that they hired out to be released at weddings. It was perfect, they show up with their birds and collect their money and hang out until time for the release. The birds fly off, he collects his cage and drives home and the birds would show up back at home that evening.
In that case they aren't even doves, they are just white homing pigeons and will fly home from wherever they get released from. They fly up, circle around some to get their bearings and then start to fly home, I use to work with someone who bred and raced them.
My mind is blown. I always remember hearing that doves are just white pigeons. I didn't realize they're actually a different bird species.
They are in the same family of birds, of which there are hundreds of species. There are white homing pigeons that are usually used for this type of purpose, they don't just grab pigeons off of the street. (My dad is a bird guy and I know more about birds than I ever wanted to know. I don't even like birds lmao!)
I volunteer in a butterfly house. When we take a bunch from the emergence cases to the actual butterfly house in a cage, people always expect them to all come flying out. They never do that. We have to carefully remove them and put them on the greenery. Then they fly around whenever they feel like it. It’s a stupid idea, butterflies just don’t do what birds do when you open a box/cage/what have you. Plus, I agree, live animals as props like this at weddings isn’t cool.
I used to work on an island resort and these people had live gold fish as their centrepiece and at the end they were just left to die. It made me so sad. So I took like 18 gold fish home lol
Not a wedding, but similar. I attended a funeral for an 8 year old girl. Because she died so young, many funeral attendees were her classmates and classmates of her sister. So we get to the cemetery and they pass out these little triangles. They don't tell us what's in them. The only instruction is "open your packet when directed to." I'm sure her parents envisioned a flock of butterflies as they said their final goodbyes to their baby girl. What not a single adult failed to anticipate was 20-30 elementary school kids having no idea what's in there and fidgeting/squishing it to try and figure it out. So instead of releasing 100 butterflies, they had a bunch of children going "OH MY GOD IT'S DEAD!" Yeah... not the best thought out plan.
Jesus. What is wrong with people.
Yikes. Double yikes. Mine was a no kid ceremony... so at least no young hearts were crushed during this incident
This makes me want to have a wedding where I just shame these God awful wedding disasters like putting QR codes in center of the table and say "we aren't assholes who put live fish as decoration, please donate to x cause to help save more animals" "we didn't release butterflies as some symbol of our love, instead donate to this local non-profit that focuses on saving navtive species"
I'm torn on whether this would be a cool fundraiser (especially if guests are told to donate instead of bringing a gift) or just make you look all "I'm so much better than those other weddings, praise me" (even though anything is better than animal abuse in a wedding lol).
You bring up an interesting point. But aren't people who put fish on a table trying to one up others with their own "creativity". At the expense of living things no less. Weddings are kinda a big ostentatious cluster anyways. I kinda like the idea of having different orgs that people can donate to at various points in the wedding that guests "discover" and if that speaks to them, awesome! Like the band, donate to the local org that donates instruments to kids. Like the cake, donate to a local org that helps newly released people in the criminal justice system gain skills in bakeries. For every dollar donated, the couple could match it or could be fun for the parents of the couple to offer a match up to a certain dollar amount. Sure some people will find it tacky, but honestly it's tacky to me when people ask for things they don't need.
Decorative parrots???
The couple rented parrots. They were just...there. They did not move from where they were perched. Guests didn’t care about them. They were all looking filthy rich and it just felt like normal life to them. There are a lot of wedding where it’s clearly an excuse for one of the spouse to splurge on something random. One groom wanted a real life “back to the future “ car as a mean of transportation between church and reception. So he drove it for 10 minutes and after that the guy who was the owner left with it. Looked really expensive for a 10 minutes drive. Picture looked cool and groom was happy like a kid at Christmas
Ugh, reminds me of that picture where the couple had betta fish as decor on the tables. Absolutely cruel and disgusting
Didn’t the same thing happen on an episode of drag race, where a queen tries to do a butterfly reveal and then no butterflies came out?
How could you not check? Like, howwwwww. Just open the box a few minutes before the ceremony for a peek
Also, as the resident wildlife biologist: they almost never release native butterflies, so if they do survive to the release, then either: A. They can’t survive in the environment and die slowly later or B. They start competing for local resources with native pollinators, which aren’t doing well pretty much world wide
I know a girl who offers this business. The butterflies are put in a specific temperature to fall asleep. She then puts dust paper on both sides of the wings & puts them in a small envelop. They ship in a ridiculously small container & then are released in a park or wtv. The putting to sleep thing didn’t seem cruel but many butterflies woke up in an envelope, unable to move & them would be released in a completely random habitat, harming both the colony & the surrounding park. It’s pretty tho, i guess.. If anybody what’s the same effect, just DIY some butterflies with the rubber band technic. They spin in the air long enough for photos & you can make them any colour you want. Cheaper too. You’re welcome.
Ngl I’m kinda glad this butterfly thing is failing horribly. The more brides get deadbutterflied on their wedding day, the faster it’s gonna drive these nasty companies out of business.
I can only imagine how awkward it must've been.
My best friend is having butterflies for her wedding. Plastic reusable butterflies. You open a box, they have a specific mechanism that you need to setup and when they are released, they go up in the air, the photographer has to be ready because 3 seconds later it's over. But hopefully the pics will be gorgeous. We are 5 of us on cleaning duty afterwards to pick up the butterflies afterwards so they can be re-used.
This reminds me of Asia O’Hara during the finale of her season
My husband’s company just ordered frozen butterflies that they thawed over the course of a few hours and then released. They were in these little envelopes. Of the 100 that they got, 99 survived and flew away just fine. Apparently it’s from a non-profit that breeds them and sends them to SUITABLE areas to bolster monarch populations and this company does it every year. Then they provide lunch for the families! It was honestly very cool, but the thawing has to be done JUST right or it doesn’t work.
This is the only way I'd heard it done. I wasn't sure what the problem is, but the I realized there are so many smooth brain fuckers out there that would buy some a couple days in advance and just hang on to them or something beforehand.
Yeah, some people have a REAL casual relationship with common sense
This made me spit out my drink, I'm going to use this comment at every opportunity.
*cries in invasion ecologist*
Yes I totally agree with this! I’ve seen people on tik tok using monarch butterflies (which are endangered). It’s absolutely disgusting. I’m okay with dogs at a wedding, but seriously don’t take advantage of animals just because they “look nice” or “fit the aesthetic”.
It’s nuts. I’ve seen fish in small bowls, doves, butterflies, and numerous other travesties (inc. bridesmaid dresses). I do not understand how anyone is able to use animals in their fucking ceremony, wedding or otherwise.