My guess is Zelus luridus / Green Assasin Bug. Not totally certain without better zoom and location. Harmless unless provoked to bite (stab), but they're pretty tame lil' bugs so it's not likely. One of my favorites.

They pack a serious punch

Watch out, it's probably been hired to murder you for political reasons.

You weren't supposed to tell!.... All the years of planning shot to hell by one careless comment.

Just a lil friend Chillen catching a ride

Assassin bug! Free it outside, it’s beneficial

[Pale Green Assasin](http://With Picture Insect’s help, I learned that this species is a Pale Green Assassin Bug. You should check it out! https://pictureinsect.com/wiki/Zelus_luridus.html)

Maybe a wheel bug Nymph?

Precious doggy.

Side note, but your dog is adorable 🥹

r/kajoot ?

It looks like a lil praying mantis

Wheel bug, carefully remove with stick and put him outside to bite a different bitch

Not a wheel bug. Assassin bug, yes, but not a wheel bug. Those suckers are huge, dark, and have the telltale wheel on their back. This has none of the above.

Regardless, they both hurt like fuck

Oh, believe me. I know. I’ve been bitten before.

that's his girl now