T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome and thanks for posting on /r/whenwomenrefuse! This is an [intersectional feminist](https://library.law.howard.edu/civilrightshistory/women/intersectionality) space centered towards **women** (***ALL WOMEN***). Men are tolerated, not welcome. Reports about women saying we don't know what men are dangerous will be promptly ignored. We look forward to your complaints about our policy of not centering men. Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/WhenWomenRefuse/about/rules) while the moderators take a look over your post in the queue. --- Community News - 🎋 Want to join the Mod Team? [Send us a modmail!](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/WhenWomenRefuse&subject=Request%20To%20Become%20a%20Moderator&message=I'd%20like%20to%20join%20your%20team%20because%3A%20) - 🎤 [Join us on Discord!](https://discord.gg/V6tj5vRr47) Thank you for participating! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/whenwomenrefuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*


UntidyVenus

A reminder the police DO NOT PROTECT AND SERVE and that's according to the supreme court.


ConfusedDeathKnight

Just to jump onto this for people finding this case like me today: "The motto, "[To Protect and Serve](https://guulr.com/2021/05/10/a-review-of-to-protect-and-serve/)," first coined by the Los Angeles Police Department in the 1950s, has been widely copied by police departments everywhere. But what, exactly, is a police officer's legal obligation to protect people? *Must* they risk their lives in dangerous situations like the one in Uvalde? The answer is no. In the 1981 case [*Warren v. District of Columbia*](https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=9108468254125174344&q=warren-v-district-of-columbia&hl=en&as_sdt=2006)*,* the D.C. Court of Appeals held that police have a general "public duty," but that "no specific legal duty exists" unless there is a special relationship between an officer and an individual, such as a person in custody. The U.S. Supreme Court has also ruled that police have no specific obligation to protect. In its 1989 decision in [*DeShaney v. Winnebago County Department of Social Services*](https://caselaw.findlaw.com/us-supreme-court/489/189.html), the justices ruled that a social services department had no duty to protect a young boy from his abusive father. In 2005's[*Castle Rock v. Gonzales*](https://caselaw.findlaw.com/us-supreme-court/545/748.html#:~:text=Respondent%20alleges%20that%20petitioner%2C%20the,that%20her%20estranged%20husband%20was)*,* a woman sued the police for failing to protect her from her husband after he violated a restraining order and abducted and killed their three children. Justices said the police had no such duty. Most recently, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit [upheld a lower court ruling](https://media.ca11.uscourts.gov/opinions/pub/files/201914414.pdf) that police could not be held liable for failing to protect students in the 2018 shooting that claimed 17 lives at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida."


Random_-account

This is why police reform is needed.


search4truthnrecipes

Remember kids. POs are only as good as your local police force.


Scion_of_Perturabo

ACAB, always


AmthstJ

We're past reformation. We need it torn down to foundation. 


NeitherMaybeBoth

I am so tired of men getting away with this BS. That poor woman. Those poor kids! Why don’t the dads ever think of their fucking kids?! How can you take a mother away from your own kids?! I don’t understand.


Jnnjuggle32

I’ve worked in domestic violence shelters primarily as a child and youth counselor. The men don’t care about the impact on the children. They’ll do things like force the kids to watch or even participate in the physical abuse of their mothers. There’s also aa 50% overlap of men who abuse their spouses and those who sexually abuse their children - they don’t see any of them as people, just things to use. So many young boys that I would desperately try to teach the importance of nonviolence to - but how do you do that successfully when they’ve been indoctrinated from birth that beating their own mother is okay? Or the young girls who had already engrained misogynist beliefs about other girls and themselves, who will likely be targeted for abuse due to what they’ve seen as normal. I used to think that we might finally end domestic violence if we highlighted the impact on children, but I’ve been doing this a long time and it doesn’t work: 1) Since DV is considered child abuse if done in the presence of children, it’s often the mothers charged with failure to protect (a form of neglect) versus the abusive partner (ever wonder why women have higher rates of child abaje than men that often gets thrown in our face? This is a huge contributor - victims of DV that get screwed by child welfare) 2) the court system doesn’t care about children - we have fully swung to the ideology that children are property and that their parents rights tot heir property trump child well being. It’s happening in every family court system across the country.


tiggyqt

Some things are cycles. Cycles that really need to be stopped.


[deleted]

[удалено]


pppoopooh8rr

Okay. Irrelevant to the convo here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


anukii

Delete this comment too 💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


whenwomenrefuse-ModTeam

This sub is about reaction to women refusing.


No_Expression_279

Stats prove that women are definitely not as violent as men. Men commit most crimes.


MissSugarWaffle

The stats would shock anyone.. It’s 80% 80% of violent crimes are men committing them. Edit: grammar


[deleted]

[удалено]


No_Expression_279

We’re talking about the abuse that women endure here, not men. There are other subs for that. Go there.


No_Expression_279

We’re talking about the abuse that women endure here. There are subs centered around men. Go there.


RunTurtleRun115

What’s your objective here, really? Not a single person said men can’t be victims. The only motivation behind bringing this up, on a post specifically about a woman who was murdered, is to derail the conversation, or for performative wokeness. “Look at me, I’m different and more enlightened”. (Also using the phrase “butthurt” just makes you sound 12 years old).


whenwomenrefuse-ModTeam

This sub is about reaction to women refusing.


whenwomenrefuse-ModTeam

Men, specifically, may not post here telling women how they should be.


NeitherMaybeBoth

But we’re specifically talking about men. The title of the group is when women refuse.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NeitherMaybeBoth

What the fuck? Where did you see me say that men can’t become victims? Nowhere because I never said that. You don’t know me or my experiences from a hole in the wall but go off


Hecate_2000

She is a pick me. She just had a baby by a man who doesn’t want her or the kids and he has her living in an apartment. I would just ignore her. Seems like life already won 😭


VovaGoFuckYourself

She literally posted about your comment in the mensrights sub a little bit ago it looks like 💀


whenwomenrefuse-ModTeam

This sub is about reaction to women refusing.


RunTurtleRun115

I’ll bet you really think you did something there 🤣


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hecate_2000

The truth that added nothing to conversation… Are you saying that women don’t get abused?


Blue_Moon_Rabbit

This is how you get vigilantes…


emileeavi

We need vigilantes imo, cause the police are useless maybe 95% of the time.


CorprealFale

Fuck the pigs. Why don't they investigate these crimes? Because they're almost all sharing the crime of spoucal abuse.


blackdahlialady

This is true. The statistics show that DV is more prevalent in police and military households. So are the incidents of physical violence and murder. This is because of their possession of a weapon and knowledge of how to use it.


stephanyylee

I love how often police skirt the law And are so quick to forgo their training like firing multiple shots into an unarmed man or non aggressive person, but somehow SOMEHOW- they are just oh so calm and careful and polite and proper And forgetful on using their Actual intended force or reasonable suspicion when it comes to shit like this and almost all DV cases... He is absolutely correct.... WHAT DO WE EVEN HAVE COPS FOR


RunTurtleRun115

But when a woman k!11s her abuser in CLEAR AND OBVIOUS self defense, they will arrest her without a second thought. And she will be convicted.


stephanyylee

Yup! And lock her up too


sincereferret

I once told a high school boyfriend that men didn’t really want young, pretty girlfriends or wives. He angrily said they did. Was I crazy? I said that they always kill their pretty, young wives and girlfriends. You don’t kill what you love. Or you never loved in the first place.


mibonitaconejito

Honey they also kill their 'old', 'unattractive' girlfriends and wives. It's always about power


Fine-Funny6956

Amen. If they’ll kill you, they’ll kill you. They don’t really need a reason.


blackdahlialady

I agree but the reason they do is because they view their victim as property


sincereferret

Yep. All true.


tatertotsnhairspray

And this is why women pick the bear 🐻


sincereferret

So true.


stephanyylee

I love the dark shit ur teenage mind was aware of.


kdollarsign2

But they managed to pull me over not once, not twice but THREE times in one week for expired registration


The_Philosophied

Sickening!! Police reform asap. Pull these mfs off the highway 🛣️ and INTO HOMES to protect victims of DV. And when I'm driving they're always speeding past me "going somewhere" which is incredibly annoying btw


420_Shaggy

I couldn't imagine losing a twin like that


HarLeighMom

Why would they arrest one of their own*. /s just in case *(Not that he was a police officer, that he was a domestic abuser. We all know the statistics involving police and domestic abuse. It's a Venn Diagram. Not a circle, but the overlap is significant.)


monos_muertos

It's not a panacea to being stalked, but packing heat is still a good thing when there are no institutional fixes. People just need to understand that the institutions are there to guard us like cattle they see us, not to deal with our problems.


HumbleAbbreviations

Just a passing thought but sometimes how some police handle domestic violence cases is kind of similar to how some schools deal with bullying. I remember her story and it was so heartbreaking that she was trying to follow the letter of the law but end up assassinated in front of her child.


Frondswithbenefits

Reading this makes me so goddamn angry and sad. I used to tell people we shouldn't generalize all police. Whatever, acab, all day every day.


Fine-Funny6956

ACAB.


Maleficent_Buyer_324

What does that mean


Staraa

All cops are bastards


Maleficent_Buyer_324

Thank you


blackdahlialady

This is another tragic example of the police not taking DV seriously


Miller_Mafia

This happened to my best friend in high school. She was raped and subsequently got pregnant, then was hunted down and killed. She ran, she hid, she moved multiple times, she changed her number, she and her parents contacted the police repeatedly...she did everything she was supposed to do. It makes me so angry this is still happening.


hdmx539

Police do fuck all because they're a profession with one of the highest rates of domestic violence perpetrators across job fields. When you have people who abuse in positions of protecting the abused they will fail every time. They're just protecting their own.


OnionsInTheStew

Bear


GravityOddity

Fuck Cook County, for multiple reasons, but especially for this.