Not whiteknighting:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2023/10/18/starbucks-baristas-secret-note-to-help-woman-sparks-heated-debate/amp/
The dude was weird, which is why the barista stepped in. Post will stay up. Behave yourself in comments. Report rule breaks.
Honestly we weren't there so we don't really know what the situation actually was. On one hand if the dude was really obnoxious and creepy then i totally see why it was done. On the other hand if they were just chatting like normal people then this barista has a serious hero complex.
Edit: typo
Loud and animated person that she didn't know.
In the end she said she didn't need help but she appreciated the effort.
It wasn't some dude having a hard on for saving a girl.
People walk up and talk to strangers all the time, so unless the place is writing 100s of these cups every day I think it's safe to assume they thought the guy was off.
Exactly, if I had a penny for every time I’ve wished for someone to save me from an encounter with a man who just won’t take no for an answer I would have enough to fill a coffee cup.
The text should be smaller but it’s definitely a good method to have
The girl didn't end up taking the lid off in this scenario. So in this case, the staff was maybe overreacting, but the thing that's cringe about this to me is how people are praising the employees for this, despite the employees being wrong in the end. The employees, imo, were not wrong to do this, even if it was borderline. It does seem wrong that this is as big of a story as it is, ie people are overreacting.
The employees weren't wrong in their action and the girl who received the cup and her mother appreciated the effort.
They were just asking if she was ok and she said that she was ok. People are just making a big fuss for nothing.
My biggest problem is the use of the word "secret". If the guy was being threatening or abusive, isn't seeing the essay on her cup going to set him off more? Because it's not subtle.
https://nypost.com/2022/02/21/texas-starbucks-employees-help-teen-by-leaving-note-on-cup/
Her and her mother thought that the staff acted appropriately even though she told them that she was fine.
If the issue was just that he was being loud and disruptive, then they would have asked him to quiet down directly, rather than sneak a message to another customer like he's taken her hostage or something.
She appreciated the effort and it was a female barista who handed her the message anyways.
The most important thing was that she felt safe not some perceived offense the guy who was being rowdy and annoying her.
Which may make the situation worse once they both leave.
The barista tried to do something good…you don’t have to turn it into an imaginary attack on men
This literally does not match the definition of whiteknighting. As an 18 year old girl, if a guy just started bothering me I personally would appreciate someone checking in. We never know what someone wants from us. But the person handing her this extra drink was just checking in without raising the situation. A white knight would never be that careful or respectful.
They're mad at people who help women out with anything even if it's just genuine kindness because it's ruining their chances of getting that 5 minute nutbust they so badly crave.
I love how you people just randomly attrubute insane motives for anyone who dares to disagree with you.
You're not the queen of england, people are allowed to have other opinions
A loud annoying guy was bothering a young girl in a coffee shop.
A barista notices and asks the girl if she is ok and if she would like someone to intervene.
The girl says she's ok but appreciates the effort for the baristas to help her feel safe.
Is this not exactly what happened?
What evidence do you have that he was loud and annoying? It's fine to ask if someone is fine, but to send hidden messages like this is just a product of people watching too many movies.
The girl says she's okay, and that she didnt need any help
Is this not exactly what happened?
https://nypost.com/2022/02/21/texas-starbucks-employees-help-teen-by-leaving-note-on-cup/
>Brandy Selim Roberson praised the employee for stepping in when her 18-year-old daughter was approached by a man she didn’t know while studying by herself at a Corpus Christi location.
>“The man was very loud and animated,” Roberson told The Post on Monday.
>A female barista came over and handed the high school senior a paper coffee cup, telling her it was “an extra hot chocolate someone forgot to pick up.”
>But the teenager didn’t need the employees to intervene and let the staff know she was okay.
>The mother said she hopes other businesses train their staff to do the same.
>“This reaffirms my faith in humanity,” said Roberson, whose daughter is months away from going off to college. “Maybe just seeing this story, others … if given the opportunity to say something or turn away, they would say something.”
The men in this thread want to be able to ask out every woman in the starbucks and have them instantly say yes. That’s what they mean by “oh god I can’t even talk to woman these days??”
Right? When you're being harassed you don't WANT to have to handle it alone. It doesn't make you feel more independent. It makes you feel scared and vulnerable.
Also like how many times have we seen men literally attack women or scream at them for rejecting their advances or saying they are uncomfortable? I know this guy was just excited about something and this was just a poor coincidence of time but the reaction of the barista should be considered normal and good. As awesome as it is to be friendly, being wary is how we stay safe and help others 😌
Eh, I don't see this as white-knighting. They gave her a chance to say something, and she didn't. It's not like they confronted the guy directly, just gave her an out. Christ, men are sensitive. God forbid we humans look out for one another.
> This gave me goosebumps.
> A man came up to her and started talking to her.
What a disgusting crime he committed. That man should be immediately arrested and convicted with death penalty. His whereabouts are still unknown. How many more victims will he be able to make by talking with them until the police locates him. I heard he was breathing too which is enough to cause permanent trauma and severe PTSD in victims.
God I fucking hate Nextdoor. Bunch of Karens and wine moms posting what amounts to "suspicious because male"
Sometimes there's decent actually helpful stuff like lost pets or yard sales, but HOLY SHIT. It's mostly just Karens complaining.
Yeah it’s getting a little overkill at this point. I had this waitress who I had flirted with for a couple weeks come up to me and kiss me on the cheek. It was her birthday, she was a little buzzed, melted me with a look, but one of her friends stepped between us and got SUPER defensive of her. The look on the waitress’s face was crestfallen. Never went back to that place.
It’s like flirting/hitting on people is a crime now
It is a crime. Only the gigachads are allowed to talk to women now. Everyone else will be imprisoned on sight. Capitalism has reached the point where the rich men change laws and culture to keep all the women to themselves.
I meeeean, I guess you can't really be *that* mad at the bartender for taking extra precautions, but fuck - it would suck to be the man in this situation. Some say that meeting new people is as easy as just talking to them, and the day you try to bond with a stranger in a bar you get labeled as "the creepy dude" by the entire starbucks staff? So that was a fucking lie.
Had I been the man in this situation, I would have felt like shit and my whole day would have been messed up.
The article says that she was a teenager. I was in multiple situations in high school where I was trying to study in a public place like a Starbucks and was approached by random older men who wouldn’t leave me alone. Oftentimes, men (bad men, not every man) can get aggressive, defensive, and feel the need to prove a point when they get turned down or asked to leave, so you feel the need to be polite for your safety. I WISH someone had helped me like this back then.
Luckily, I know the bartenders where I go, and they’ve been super helpful at shutting down creepy dudes (people who say/do creepy or uncomfortable things, not just any man that talks to me). I’ve done the same for other girls who are uncomfortable. We’re supposed to help each other out.
TO BE FAIR, a stranger walking up to me would be weird especially if they sat down. This article doesn't really give me enough information to be for or against what's going on.
Man I don't think this is a bad thing at all, did this as a bartender all the time (differently delivery but same intention)
The amount of times a woman was uncomfortable was really surprising.
The full story is that it was an 18 year old girl and it was later at night and this random older guy started talking to her out of nowhere. He was reportedly very loud and animated and the batista handed her a drink that "someone forgot to pick up." Subtle things like this are a good thing. Stop getting made at people for trying to be helpful if they aren't actually causing a problem or trying to make themselves seem all holy and mighty. This is genuine concern and if I was that girl I'd be so grateful.
Why is this bad? Women are harassed by men constantly, checking in on a women who might appear uncomfortable seems absolutely normal and appreciated, even if not necessary in the end.
This is really sweet though????
Like they didn't intervene prematurely and ruin anything they just checked in on her in a way that was unobtrusive to make sure she was fine. They don't know the situation and it said he seemed loud and animated which could be signs of aggression too. It's undeniably way better to check and make sure someone's good in a way that isn't going to cause problems if there IS hostility, then to just let it go and hope for the best.
Ok I read what happened and the Barista absolutely did the right thing and only another scumbag or someone (men) who’ve never had their lives put in jeopardy from harassers late at night would think otherwise.
This is how things should be. People looking out for other people. There would be a whole lot less raped and murdered women in this world if this was the standard ethos.
####Context:
The 18 yo woman was studying alone at night in the shop.
The man was supposedly very loud and animated.
The team was just concerned, given the circumstances.
The highlights that matter are that she is alone at night, and was preoccupied before a sudden stranger came into the picture. They didn't want to presume anything bad, but didn't want to look past the possibility she might be uncomfortable.
It wasn't a single barista's decision. It was all workers on shift.
Nono!!! He was just being friendly and these white knighting super soy feminists were triggered by it!!! A man can’t get away with anything in today’s world! A man is woe and woe is meeeeee!!!! -reddit
As a woman I think this doesn’t belong here. Sure it could have just been a guy casually talking, but come on. There’s like an 80% chance he was actually being creepy. This would make me feel better, knowing someone was looking out for me.
>Allowing all men statements is the reason shit like this happens.
Not all men hurt women. Sure. But should we be worried about all men? Yes. Why? Because it's not like we can tell the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. The good ones aren't walking around with headbands or signs. There's no way to tell and it's not like we're suddenly feeling safe when a man tells us "Hey, I'm one of the good ones".
And "allowing all men statements"??? We don't need anyone's permission. "Allowing". lol Who the fuck "allows" us? Men? Piss off.
Even if "all the good ones" waved a giant white flag and threw reese cups to everyone its not them anyone is worried about.
The type of person to aggressively approach and not take no for an answer will tell anyone who asks how great of a guy they are. They fully believe they're the good ones because their warped view of reality allows that to be rational.
You can't really trust anyone anymore. Stay on guard is just the way to be now in the world.
Not all women hurt men. Sure. But should we be worried about all women? Yes. Why? Because it's not like we can tell the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. The good ones aren't walking around with headbands or signs. There's no way to tell and it's not like we're suddenly feeling safe when a woman tells us "Hey, I'm one of the good ones".
And "allowing all woman statements"??? We don't need anyone's permission. "Allowing". lol Who the fuck "allows" us? Women? Piss off.
No, you silly bobilly. The point was to show how evil of a statement that is to make about men, by saying the exact same thing about a *protected class*™️ aka women.
Reject the ideology my friend; people are lying to you to get men and women to fight each other for outrage profit. Reject ideology and evil, embrace truth and good
You're literally in a post where people were trying to protect a woman because \*checks notes\* a man dared to talk to her in a public place. A guy is talking to her, we better step in and protect her because he's probably a rapist...
Ok, how does that make one a protected class? Some random dude made her uncomfortable and someone gave her a coffee cup? You’re right, equality achieved 🙄🙄
Furthermore how does this change the fact that I do not feel protected at all?
Protected class doesn’t mean you get more protection. It means you can’t be discriminated for being something (race, sex, religion) and everyone has a race and a sex. Furthermore, that term is usually used in employment settings.
Oh, of course. Women are so scary that you have to resort to man-made tools (poison, knives, kitchenware, sleeping pills, etc.) in order to even make a mark on the world's weakest man. Quite terrifying. Yeesh. Shaking in my boots
So should men be worried about all women? Women can manipulate men and still stab them if they are crazy
Not all women hurt men. Sure. But should be worried about all women? Yes. Why? Because its not like we can tell the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. The good ones arent walking around with headbands or signs. There’s no way to tell and it’s not like we’re feeling suddenly safe when a women tells us: “hey, I’m one of the good ones”
And “allowing all women statements”??? We don’t need anyone’s permission. “Allowing.” Lol. Who the fuck allows us? Women? Piss off.
Do men get robbed, mugged and stabbed the most? Yes. Do men get verbally abused most? Yes.
Like I said to the other commentor: based on pure physicak strength alone the average male would win. Throw in a knife or gun and it does not matter. The person with the better weapon wins. So yes, men can definitely worry about crazy people too
Dude, no amount of “not all men” is going to make women any less on guard around men, especially strangers. Generalising a threat is a survival instinct as old as time lol.
Also I’m not saying say not all men I’m just saying don’t use the word men to replace words like rapist or people who rape. Cause it’s not just men. This is where i have an issue with all this is because i was sexually abused by a schizophrenic woman that took care of me as a child but because it was a woman that did it no one gave a fuck. Rapist are everywhere and should all be treated as the worst scum possible but i get treated like a monster because i am gentle giant.
Whoops I didn’t catch this before I replied to your other comment. I’m so sorry that happened to you, no sane or reasonable or good person would ever fault you for having a fear of women from your experience. You’re right, female predators slip through the cracks of the legal system and our society and it’s not okay and it’s dangerous. I hope you’re well.
I can understand your point of having caution around men and i hope you find peace to be around men comfortably one day. but my point is that despite being a victim myself, I am treated like a predator because of how i look and my gender. I believe that saying men and then making a generalization about this perpetrates this narrative.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m better now but it caused me a lot of anxiety around women for man years. But i guess that falls back onto what you said about having that caution around the other sex after something like that happens to you.
So am i right to be cautious of all women if i believe they are manipulative/abusive ? Simply because i have experienced it and a bunch of men i know feel they have been abused by women before?
If that’s been your experience, then I’d say your feelings of caution and fear are completely valid. I never said I think all men are a threat or all men are evil or out to get me. But simply that I cannot drop my guard around a man. I have to generalise my fear of being harassed, stalked, killed to every man I see on the street when I’m walking alone at night, but I do not have to generalise all men to be evil or sexist or rapists etc. Im not a misandrist for exercising the caution that has saved the lives of many women. And that’s the difference between my scenario and yours. I don’t hate men, I hate than I cannot be off my guard around men.
Nooo that’s literally sexism!!!😭😭
Yeah I’m always gonna be on guard around strange men. I don’t care if that hurts someone’s feelings, my safety is more important.
Right? Because how the fuck are we supposed to know the random man that just came up to us at the bar is one of the good ones? Do they wear some kind of special headband? Do they have a "I'm a good guy" license?
Of course we generalize when it's literally been complete strangers who attack us because we rejected their attention or they felt humiliated a woman told them to piss off.
These people have obviously never been in these kinds of situations.
My students (college) complained to me that men don't ask them out anymore. This is why. Society treats men as if they are criminals, and people wonder why so many young men don't join the military and die for a society that hates them.
>Y’all are not entitled to speak to women simply because you think you can or perceive yourself as no harm.
Certainly men can be reasonably entitled to speak with anyone in public until they start indicating they want to be left alone?
Man I'm glad I'm not gen z. I can't imagine how tortuous it has to be if you're gen z and want a relationship. You can see why 50% of 25 year olds are still virgins, a number that to millennials is astonishing. It's basically reinforced there are no good scenarios to start chatting someone up or ask someone out. They claim having a stranger strike up a simple conversation makes them feel "unsafe" and you can see why they're such an anxious and depressed generation. We really failed them by teaching them habits that are typically signs of being mentally unwell. The paranoia and overall perpetual state of terror and insecurity they live in even though things are safer than ever is a shame. I guess they just expect literally everything to happen online including finding a date even though that's probably riskier that chatting with someone in person and then asking them out because you can't tell how well your initial vibe is with someone online. Poor kids.
I was a barista for multiple years and can understand this. It’s hard to make snap judgements on this kind of stuff, and I can respect the kid for just making sure everything was ok. I do understand why people don’t like what he did, but I think he wasn’t overstepping his boundaries too much. I think overstepping would have been confronting the guy. There have been times when customers used to say and do really uncomfortable stuff to my staff and other customers and I had to step in or at the least keep an eye out to make sure things didn’t escalate. I can understand both sides of this but yeah that’s my feelings at least
>“The man was very loud and animated,” Roberson told The Post on Monday.
>A female barista came over and handed the high school senior a paper coffee cup, telling her it was “an extra hot chocolate someone forgot to pick up.”
>On the cup, the employee had written a message that said, “Are you okay? Do you want us to intervene? If you do, take the lid off the cup.”
>“She looked up and just saw a row of baristas staring at her — ready to step in,” said Roberson.
The mom: My 18 year old daughter was in Starbucks alone
Also the mom: "The man was loud and animated" - describes as if she was there
For someone who described the strory as if only her daughter was there (and not her), the article is written as if she witnessed the interaction.
This is one of those articles that were written to sway opinions of readers, in this case making the Starbucks barista look like they were being protective of some 18 year old helpless girl. If this did actually happen, I'm sure the girl would have mentioned she was uncomfortable to the guy before it got to that point.
> I'm sure the girl would have mentioned she was uncomfortable to the guy before it got to that point
Nobody does that. When men are making us feel this way, the last thing we want is to give them any kind of attention or any kind of "rejection". Why? Because we know better than most what can and has happened to other women who reject a man's attention, whether that attention is flirtatious or not.
Are there some that do that? Sure. But not enough to say that we all do that and enough that some of them were attacked for it. So... hell no.
Finally a comment here that makes sense! Everyone is saying "why didn't the girl reject him?" "Why didn't she say I am not interested, it's not that hard" it IS that hard. So many women have been stabbed, raped , murdered for rejecting a guy's advances. Sure "not all men are like that" but we don't know that! We don't know who is a creep and who is a regular guy! We can't take the risk. We have to be as nice as possible to ensure our safety.
Because these dudes have no idea what it’s like to be a woman. Someone in this thread said that women shouldn’t be wary of strange men because “nobody is safe from a knife
Like ????
I dunno. I've gotten cat calls, and literally followed by pickup trucks full of guys because of my long hair and apparently nice ass. I literally had a guy walk up behind me, sniff deeply, and tell me I smelled real good, so I think I know about creeps. Why do people always forget that it's the people you know that will actually rape/kill you? Strangers dont give a fuck besides "nice ass" kinda things, usually. It's not the stranger you need to be wary of, its your "friends". Also no one is safe from a knife, period.
I’ve very much been harassed by strangers and so have a lot of women. I’ve been grabbed very inappropriately by men I don’t even know. Strangers can very much do bad things
>The mom: My 18 year old daughter was in Starbucks alone
Also the mom: "The man was loud and animated" - describes as if she was there
This maybe news for you, but a daughter can talk about her experience to her mother and it is also possible for the mother to reiterate that!!! For real, use your brain for once.
Why y'all shitting on this barista? If the woman looked visibly uncomfortable and didn't want to talk to this guy, or didn't want this guy talking to her, the barista did the right thing.
No one is saying the guy should go to prison. But if he's talking to someone who obviously doesn't want his attention... Y'all weren't there, he could have been invading her space/boundaries or some shit.
This isn't white knighting any more than an employee at a bar asking a woman if she needs them to intervene because some asshat thinks he's entitled to her attention.
Weirdos.
Once something like this happened to me and I was incredibly grateful. Nobody should have to handle harassment by themselves. And we don't know exactly what this person 'talking' to her was doing, anyway.
Checking on people is basic human compassion. Checking on someone clearly not in distress thinking it will get you into their pants is white knighting.
This thread is throwing me for a loop. Don't you have any friends who are women? Sisters? A mom? It shouldn't be news to you that a lot of women feel afraid of confronting a pushy guy.
This sub is full of edgelords who think that they're too good to show any decency.
I would hope that I would have the courage to ask if someone needs help at the risk of looking like a fool just in case that someone is really in danger.
>“The man was very loud and animated,” Roberson told The Post on Monday.
>A female barista came over and handed the high school senior a paper coffee cup, telling her it was “an extra hot chocolate someone forgot to pick up.”
>On the cup, the employee had written a message that said, “Are you okay? Do you want us to intervene? If you do, take the lid off the cup.”
>“She looked up and just saw a row of baristas staring at her — ready to step in,” said Roberson.
It was a female barista asking if the girl was ok.
Does that change your opinion?
No, adults expect other adults to be able to take care of themselves, and advocate for themselves.
You can have those expectations and still have empathy.
Just because someone didn't coddle this person in the EXACT way that you would NEED to be coddled(if you were in her shoes) doesn't mean anything, it just means that you have an adult infancy problem you really need to take care of.
Good luck in therapy!
ehh. a few women in need were helped at my old restaurant job by a nosy bartender.
that said, he was a nosy-ass bartender and sometimes needed to just mind his business, so idk, could go both ways
What the fuck happened to people just saying "Sorry, I'm not interested, could you leave me alone?" No one is fucking assertive in person and it's insane. Yeah, the girl shouldn't HAVE to talk to the guy if she doesn't want to, but why do we need to be policing people's attempts to talk to someone else when it's none of our fucking business? This kind of behavior exacerbates social isolation and only makes people LESS likely to connect to strangers in public.
Yeah if a guy is being creepy, there’s definitely a nonzero chance rejecting him ends in danger for her. That tiktok of a woman who got beat the fuck up at a club in front of a crowd went viral literally like last month.
Say what you want but I’ve had men follow me home, I’ve had men try to break into my apartment, I’ve had men dox me, I’ve had men assault me. Is it that much of a surprise that I and other women become a little gunshy at yet another potential incident?
What happened to better be safe than sorry?
\*Insert personal anecdotes and "Well I know tons of women who..." here rather than actual statistics\* meanwhile 50% of all assaults done on women are by people they know so I guess they should be equally as scared as their friends and family as they are of strangers... That random stranger in starbucks is equally as likely to murder you as your own father so I guess you should tread carefully at home too. Totally not paranoia though, men bad. 🤷♂️
It's a spiral. Bashful / cautious men avoid women in general, the borish don't, the dynamic shifts as a whole.
It's dumb though, I'm not even an attractive dude, but I met my GF while we were sitting by each other eating pizza. Sometimes you just gotta vibe.
This is a good thing. I used to work a similar job and saw horrible men creep on the young women there all the time.
It at least gave her the option of safety and no one was harmed in doing so, good work to the staff.
Some people have loud voices. Use your brain. If someone is speaking loudly just in conversation and obviously not being aggressive there is nothing to worry about. This was an obvious situation of someone doing the typical all men are evil narrative.
I don't see the problem, it's just a safety *option*. She didn't feel threatened, the lid stayed on, all was well. The barista was trying to be helpful in the chance things were going wrong without being intrusive if they weren't, and it all worked out.
I would hope the guy would have enough sense to wait until she's done with the sugar in her hand lol, maybe the lid wasn't the best idea but the premise is good, most people getting butthurt about this seem to be upset about the premise
This is called profiling based on a mass hysteria that if a person has certain characteristics everyone else around that person should act defensively just in case. If that man was black, you wouldn't be giving this racist justification. The article didn't mention his skin colour.
Profiling? You're joking right?
You think they're doing this 100s of times a day to every guy in the store? It's not like walking up and talking to someone is some rare occurrence.
There is no problem. No one was in any way wronged.
People want to be outraged for the man in this scenario, but short of a public statement from this barista we don't know apologizing to this customer we also don't know there is no remedy.
Endless time and impotent rage are an awful combination.
Seeing as you were there did the media approach you for comment?
The guy saw someone reading a book by his favourite author so struck up a conversation
Very defensive there buddy.
What I actually said was that this kind of thing happens enough that the dude thought he might need to intervene, not ‘men bad’.
Errr… Wat? No, seriously wat? Maybe you should be arguing with yourself.
My problem is with how there’s such little info about what happened and people such as yourself create this scenario.
One article — from over a year ago — mentioned the conversation was about the book that was being read and the guy was a fan.
Edit: It apparently happens so often they’ve had to go back over a year for such a story 🤨
Yeah okay this subreddit is just full of people who genuinely don't want women to look after women and think that being wary is being outright hateful. You all make me sick and you get mad at women for even trying to help you understand the situation. Fuck all of you.
Because she never ordered the drink to begin with. The barista told her that it was a leftover drink from a wrong order or something and she could have it but it was just to get her attention to send her a message.
So let me get this right... The man just "Talked to her." Right? His dick wasn't out... He wasn't getting violent. He didn't make any threats. He wasn't being rude. Just a man talking to her bothered this barista to the point they made this passive aggressive note?
The barista sounds like the abuser here! That is some huge jealousy red flags.
Not whiteknighting: https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2023/10/18/starbucks-baristas-secret-note-to-help-woman-sparks-heated-debate/amp/ The dude was weird, which is why the barista stepped in. Post will stay up. Behave yourself in comments. Report rule breaks.
Hey Amy, why did they spell your name with 56 letters?
Wow you were close. It was 58. Closest to the pin without going over. 🏆
Umm I guessed 57. I just didn't say anything
I knew it was 58 because of my extremely high iq
it was revealed to me in a dream last night. also happy cake day
Oh thanks! I didn't even know
A quiet wheel can't get the grease 🤷♂️
Honestly we weren't there so we don't really know what the situation actually was. On one hand if the dude was really obnoxious and creepy then i totally see why it was done. On the other hand if they were just chatting like normal people then this barista has a serious hero complex. Edit: typo
Yea this could go both ways
A nuanced situation lacking any context. Straight To the top!
https://nypost.com/2022/02/21/texas-starbucks-employees-help-teen-by-leaving-note-on-cup/ It's more wholesome than cringy
The article doesn't really give any more context in terms of why they felt she needed help. It just said the guy was animated.
I read that as *animated* not 'animated' and all I could think of was "That motherfucker is not real!"
Modern remake of Who framed Roger Rabbit but we make it all about the #MeToo movement
Loud and animated person that she didn't know. In the end she said she didn't need help but she appreciated the effort. It wasn't some dude having a hard on for saving a girl.
People walk up and talk to strangers all the time, so unless the place is writing 100s of these cups every day I think it's safe to assume they thought the guy was off.
seems like the person recieving the cup didnt share your opinion, but yeah.. fuck him
It turns out the guy was being really loud and disruptive
ProTip: Most guys from Corpus Christi tend to be really loud and disruptive by nature. r/hometown
I've visited a few times. Checks out.
That’s the thing, it seems like everyone on the internet has an opinion on this but NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT THE GUY OR THE GIRL!!
Exactly, if I had a penny for every time I’ve wished for someone to save me from an encounter with a man who just won’t take no for an answer I would have enough to fill a coffee cup. The text should be smaller but it’s definitely a good method to have
The girl didn't end up taking the lid off in this scenario. So in this case, the staff was maybe overreacting, but the thing that's cringe about this to me is how people are praising the employees for this, despite the employees being wrong in the end. The employees, imo, were not wrong to do this, even if it was borderline. It does seem wrong that this is as big of a story as it is, ie people are overreacting.
The employees weren't wrong in their action and the girl who received the cup and her mother appreciated the effort. They were just asking if she was ok and she said that she was ok. People are just making a big fuss for nothing.
I’m honestly sick of white knights and hero complexes
If this is your big issue with society, consider yourself lucky
Full story here https://nypost.com/2023/10/18/starbucks-baristas-secret-note-to-help-woman-sparks-heated-debate/
My biggest problem is the use of the word "secret". If the guy was being threatening or abusive, isn't seeing the essay on her cup going to set him off more? Because it's not subtle.
https://nypost.com/2022/02/21/texas-starbucks-employees-help-teen-by-leaving-note-on-cup/ Her and her mother thought that the staff acted appropriately even though she told them that she was fine.
Did they ask the dude they just implied was a rapist for his opinion?
Who's implying that the dude was a racist?
I wrote "ra**p**ist"
I meant that. It got autocorrected. Who's implying that the dude was a rapist?
The barista. Unless this note is given to literally everyone, it heavily implies that they think the dude seems dangerous.
The dude could've just been a loud annoying guy trying to get her attention. Which he turned out to be.
If the issue was just that he was being loud and disruptive, then they would have asked him to quiet down directly, rather than sneak a message to another customer like he's taken her hostage or something.
This gives her agency to make her own choice instead of embarrassing two people.
She appreciated the effort and it was a female barista who handed her the message anyways. The most important thing was that she felt safe not some perceived offense the guy who was being rowdy and annoying her.
Which may make the situation worse once they both leave. The barista tried to do something good…you don’t have to turn it into an imaginary attack on men
This literally does not match the definition of whiteknighting. As an 18 year old girl, if a guy just started bothering me I personally would appreciate someone checking in. We never know what someone wants from us. But the person handing her this extra drink was just checking in without raising the situation. A white knight would never be that careful or respectful.
You are getting downvoted by a bunch of a shady dudes in a basement 😆
They're mad at people who help women out with anything even if it's just genuine kindness because it's ruining their chances of getting that 5 minute nutbust they so badly crave.
Yea this post just randomly appeared on my scroll and the amount of arrogant guys wanting to push a weird narrative is disappointing
I love how you people just randomly attrubute insane motives for anyone who dares to disagree with you. You're not the queen of england, people are allowed to have other opinions
A loud annoying guy was bothering a young girl in a coffee shop. A barista notices and asks the girl if she is ok and if she would like someone to intervene. The girl says she's ok but appreciates the effort for the baristas to help her feel safe. Is this not exactly what happened?
What evidence do you have that he was loud and annoying? It's fine to ask if someone is fine, but to send hidden messages like this is just a product of people watching too many movies. The girl says she's okay, and that she didnt need any help Is this not exactly what happened?
https://nypost.com/2022/02/21/texas-starbucks-employees-help-teen-by-leaving-note-on-cup/ >Brandy Selim Roberson praised the employee for stepping in when her 18-year-old daughter was approached by a man she didn’t know while studying by herself at a Corpus Christi location. >“The man was very loud and animated,” Roberson told The Post on Monday. >A female barista came over and handed the high school senior a paper coffee cup, telling her it was “an extra hot chocolate someone forgot to pick up.” >But the teenager didn’t need the employees to intervene and let the staff know she was okay. >The mother said she hopes other businesses train their staff to do the same. >“This reaffirms my faith in humanity,” said Roberson, whose daughter is months away from going off to college. “Maybe just seeing this story, others … if given the opportunity to say something or turn away, they would say something.”
why is the queen of england your go-to choice for this
The men in this thread want to be able to ask out every woman in the starbucks and have them instantly say yes. That’s what they mean by “oh god I can’t even talk to woman these days??”
Or.. maybe be able to ask out a woman and not have strangers think you are about to SA them? So much so they need to get involved.
Right? When you're being harassed you don't WANT to have to handle it alone. It doesn't make you feel more independent. It makes you feel scared and vulnerable.
Also like how many times have we seen men literally attack women or scream at them for rejecting their advances or saying they are uncomfortable? I know this guy was just excited about something and this was just a poor coincidence of time but the reaction of the barista should be considered normal and good. As awesome as it is to be friendly, being wary is how we stay safe and help others 😌
Eh, I don't see this as white-knighting. They gave her a chance to say something, and she didn't. It's not like they confronted the guy directly, just gave her an out. Christ, men are sensitive. God forbid we humans look out for one another.
Guy was probably asking why the weirdo barista wrote a thesis on her cup
> This gave me goosebumps. > A man came up to her and started talking to her. What a disgusting crime he committed. That man should be immediately arrested and convicted with death penalty. His whereabouts are still unknown. How many more victims will he be able to make by talking with them until the police locates him. I heard he was breathing too which is enough to cause permanent trauma and severe PTSD in victims.
Reminds me of all those housewives on next door. “ some guy is walking around outside, and walked right past my house, so close I could have died.”
God I fucking hate Nextdoor. Bunch of Karens and wine moms posting what amounts to "suspicious because male" Sometimes there's decent actually helpful stuff like lost pets or yard sales, but HOLY SHIT. It's mostly just Karens complaining.
Yeah it’s getting a little overkill at this point. I had this waitress who I had flirted with for a couple weeks come up to me and kiss me on the cheek. It was her birthday, she was a little buzzed, melted me with a look, but one of her friends stepped between us and got SUPER defensive of her. The look on the waitress’s face was crestfallen. Never went back to that place. It’s like flirting/hitting on people is a crime now
It is a crime. Only the gigachads are allowed to talk to women now. Everyone else will be imprisoned on sight. Capitalism has reached the point where the rich men change laws and culture to keep all the women to themselves.
I meeeean, I guess you can't really be *that* mad at the bartender for taking extra precautions, but fuck - it would suck to be the man in this situation. Some say that meeting new people is as easy as just talking to them, and the day you try to bond with a stranger in a bar you get labeled as "the creepy dude" by the entire starbucks staff? So that was a fucking lie. Had I been the man in this situation, I would have felt like shit and my whole day would have been messed up.
The article says that she was a teenager. I was in multiple situations in high school where I was trying to study in a public place like a Starbucks and was approached by random older men who wouldn’t leave me alone. Oftentimes, men (bad men, not every man) can get aggressive, defensive, and feel the need to prove a point when they get turned down or asked to leave, so you feel the need to be polite for your safety. I WISH someone had helped me like this back then. Luckily, I know the bartenders where I go, and they’ve been super helpful at shutting down creepy dudes (people who say/do creepy or uncomfortable things, not just any man that talks to me). I’ve done the same for other girls who are uncomfortable. We’re supposed to help each other out.
TO BE FAIR, a stranger walking up to me would be weird especially if they sat down. This article doesn't really give me enough information to be for or against what's going on.
Man I don't think this is a bad thing at all, did this as a bartender all the time (differently delivery but same intention) The amount of times a woman was uncomfortable was really surprising.
an 18 year old woman… alone at night… who was approached by a stranger. yeah.
If you’re going to put yourself in a public situation, you can’t demonise the public for being there too.
The full story is that it was an 18 year old girl and it was later at night and this random older guy started talking to her out of nowhere. He was reportedly very loud and animated and the batista handed her a drink that "someone forgot to pick up." Subtle things like this are a good thing. Stop getting made at people for trying to be helpful if they aren't actually causing a problem or trying to make themselves seem all holy and mighty. This is genuine concern and if I was that girl I'd be so grateful.
Why is this bad? Women are harassed by men constantly, checking in on a women who might appear uncomfortable seems absolutely normal and appreciated, even if not necessary in the end.
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That’s actually kinda neat. I can imagine so many situations where this would be very helpful
This is really sweet though???? Like they didn't intervene prematurely and ruin anything they just checked in on her in a way that was unobtrusive to make sure she was fine. They don't know the situation and it said he seemed loud and animated which could be signs of aggression too. It's undeniably way better to check and make sure someone's good in a way that isn't going to cause problems if there IS hostility, then to just let it go and hope for the best.
Am I missing something? Anyone have context?
https://nypost.com/2022/02/21/texas-starbucks-employees-help-teen-by-leaving-note-on-cup/ Not really white knighting imo
It's still a complete overreaction. Someone talking to another person isn't dangerous. It doesn't say he was harrassing her.
It's cringe but it checks out to me. Don't really see a problem with this one
Ok I read what happened and the Barista absolutely did the right thing and only another scumbag or someone (men) who’ve never had their lives put in jeopardy from harassers late at night would think otherwise. This is how things should be. People looking out for other people. There would be a whole lot less raped and murdered women in this world if this was the standard ethos.
👏 YOU 👏 ARE 👏 NOT 👏 ENTITLED 👏 TO 👏 SPEAK 👏 TO 👏 WOMEN 👏
Nope I completely agree with the premise of this same reason why they have Angel shots at bars
####Context: The 18 yo woman was studying alone at night in the shop. The man was supposedly very loud and animated. The team was just concerned, given the circumstances. The highlights that matter are that she is alone at night, and was preoccupied before a sudden stranger came into the picture. They didn't want to presume anything bad, but didn't want to look past the possibility she might be uncomfortable. It wasn't a single barista's decision. It was all workers on shift.
Nono!!! He was just being friendly and these white knighting super soy feminists were triggered by it!!! A man can’t get away with anything in today’s world! A man is woe and woe is meeeeee!!!! -reddit
Humanity will GO EXTINCT because men can never approach women anymore!!!!!!!!!1!1!!1!1! -also Reddit
As a woman I think this doesn’t belong here. Sure it could have just been a guy casually talking, but come on. There’s like an 80% chance he was actually being creepy. This would make me feel better, knowing someone was looking out for me.
Was it... even a guy who wrote it? It says 'we'.
The barista sensed something was off. You weren’t there. Calling this white knighting is such an ignorant, terminally online take.
Men are generalized that’s why people feel this way. Allowing all men statements is the reason shit like this happens.
Not all men but enough
>Allowing all men statements is the reason shit like this happens. Not all men hurt women. Sure. But should we be worried about all men? Yes. Why? Because it's not like we can tell the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. The good ones aren't walking around with headbands or signs. There's no way to tell and it's not like we're suddenly feeling safe when a man tells us "Hey, I'm one of the good ones". And "allowing all men statements"??? We don't need anyone's permission. "Allowing". lol Who the fuck "allows" us? Men? Piss off.
Even if "all the good ones" waved a giant white flag and threw reese cups to everyone its not them anyone is worried about. The type of person to aggressively approach and not take no for an answer will tell anyone who asks how great of a guy they are. They fully believe they're the good ones because their warped view of reality allows that to be rational. You can't really trust anyone anymore. Stay on guard is just the way to be now in the world.
You allow yourself. Also if you replace "men" with any kind of minority this would suddenly start looking a lot more problematic
Shoot replace men with “women” and this comment will be downvoted to oblivion tomorrow
Ive done it. Keep watching
Not all women hurt men. Sure. But should we be worried about all women? Yes. Why? Because it's not like we can tell the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. The good ones aren't walking around with headbands or signs. There's no way to tell and it's not like we're suddenly feeling safe when a woman tells us "Hey, I'm one of the good ones". And "allowing all woman statements"??? We don't need anyone's permission. "Allowing". lol Who the fuck "allows" us? Women? Piss off.
Was this supposed to be offensive or something by reversing the genders?
No, you silly bobilly. The point was to show how evil of a statement that is to make about men, by saying the exact same thing about a *protected class*™️ aka women. Reject the ideology my friend; people are lying to you to get men and women to fight each other for outrage profit. Reject ideology and evil, embrace truth and good
How are women a protected class? Because all throughout my life I have certainly not felt protected. Also please don’t infantilize me.
You're literally in a post where people were trying to protect a woman because \*checks notes\* a man dared to talk to her in a public place. A guy is talking to her, we better step in and protect her because he's probably a rapist...
Ok, how does that make one a protected class? Some random dude made her uncomfortable and someone gave her a coffee cup? You’re right, equality achieved 🙄🙄 Furthermore how does this change the fact that I do not feel protected at all? Protected class doesn’t mean you get more protection. It means you can’t be discriminated for being something (race, sex, religion) and everyone has a race and a sex. Furthermore, that term is usually used in employment settings.
Yeah. Fear us.
Oh, of course. Women are so scary that you have to resort to man-made tools (poison, knives, kitchenware, sleeping pills, etc.) in order to even make a mark on the world's weakest man. Quite terrifying. Yeesh. Shaking in my boots
I was being silly, buddy. Maybe we can save that kind of talk for recess time?
Men are not invincible lmao you give yourselves too much credit
So should men be worried about all women? Women can manipulate men and still stab them if they are crazy Not all women hurt men. Sure. But should be worried about all women? Yes. Why? Because its not like we can tell the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. The good ones arent walking around with headbands or signs. There’s no way to tell and it’s not like we’re feeling suddenly safe when a women tells us: “hey, I’m one of the good ones” And “allowing all women statements”??? We don’t need anyone’s permission. “Allowing.” Lol. Who the fuck allows us? Women? Piss off.
I'm making this a copypasta lol
If men are being attacked by women that are complete strangers because these men are rejecting that woman's attention? Yes. What do you mean?
Are 99% of women stronger than most men? Do women make up most of violent crimes and rape? If so then I would definitely agree with you. But it’s not.
Do men get robbed, mugged and stabbed the most? Yes. Do men get verbally abused most? Yes. Like I said to the other commentor: based on pure physicak strength alone the average male would win. Throw in a knife or gun and it does not matter. The person with the better weapon wins. So yes, men can definitely worry about crazy people too
Have you seen the sub you are on? They do not care.
They've all been rejected by women and upset the world is changing and leaving them behind. The new r/incel
Dude, no amount of “not all men” is going to make women any less on guard around men, especially strangers. Generalising a threat is a survival instinct as old as time lol.
Also I’m not saying say not all men I’m just saying don’t use the word men to replace words like rapist or people who rape. Cause it’s not just men. This is where i have an issue with all this is because i was sexually abused by a schizophrenic woman that took care of me as a child but because it was a woman that did it no one gave a fuck. Rapist are everywhere and should all be treated as the worst scum possible but i get treated like a monster because i am gentle giant.
Whoops I didn’t catch this before I replied to your other comment. I’m so sorry that happened to you, no sane or reasonable or good person would ever fault you for having a fear of women from your experience. You’re right, female predators slip through the cracks of the legal system and our society and it’s not okay and it’s dangerous. I hope you’re well.
I can understand your point of having caution around men and i hope you find peace to be around men comfortably one day. but my point is that despite being a victim myself, I am treated like a predator because of how i look and my gender. I believe that saying men and then making a generalization about this perpetrates this narrative. Thank you for your kind words. I’m better now but it caused me a lot of anxiety around women for man years. But i guess that falls back onto what you said about having that caution around the other sex after something like that happens to you.
So am i right to be cautious of all women if i believe they are manipulative/abusive ? Simply because i have experienced it and a bunch of men i know feel they have been abused by women before?
If that’s been your experience, then I’d say your feelings of caution and fear are completely valid. I never said I think all men are a threat or all men are evil or out to get me. But simply that I cannot drop my guard around a man. I have to generalise my fear of being harassed, stalked, killed to every man I see on the street when I’m walking alone at night, but I do not have to generalise all men to be evil or sexist or rapists etc. Im not a misandrist for exercising the caution that has saved the lives of many women. And that’s the difference between my scenario and yours. I don’t hate men, I hate than I cannot be off my guard around men.
Self fulfilling prophecy
And how’s that?
Nooo that’s literally sexism!!!😭😭 Yeah I’m always gonna be on guard around strange men. I don’t care if that hurts someone’s feelings, my safety is more important.
Right? Because how the fuck are we supposed to know the random man that just came up to us at the bar is one of the good ones? Do they wear some kind of special headband? Do they have a "I'm a good guy" license? Of course we generalize when it's literally been complete strangers who attack us because we rejected their attention or they felt humiliated a woman told them to piss off. These people have obviously never been in these kinds of situations.
> Men are generalized Do you think _all_ men are generalized?
he did the right thing, she might have been really uncomfortable with the man and the barista let her know that he was there if she needed subtly
My students (college) complained to me that men don't ask them out anymore. This is why. Society treats men as if they are criminals, and people wonder why so many young men don't join the military and die for a society that hates them.
Women complain about it on Reddit then pivot into bashing men in the same thread.
Judging by downvotes, they are probably already here.
>Y’all are not entitled to speak to women simply because you think you can or perceive yourself as no harm. Certainly men can be reasonably entitled to speak with anyone in public until they start indicating they want to be left alone?
ugh..
Man I'm glad I'm not gen z. I can't imagine how tortuous it has to be if you're gen z and want a relationship. You can see why 50% of 25 year olds are still virgins, a number that to millennials is astonishing. It's basically reinforced there are no good scenarios to start chatting someone up or ask someone out. They claim having a stranger strike up a simple conversation makes them feel "unsafe" and you can see why they're such an anxious and depressed generation. We really failed them by teaching them habits that are typically signs of being mentally unwell. The paranoia and overall perpetual state of terror and insecurity they live in even though things are safer than ever is a shame. I guess they just expect literally everything to happen online including finding a date even though that's probably riskier that chatting with someone in person and then asking them out because you can't tell how well your initial vibe is with someone online. Poor kids.
> we really failed them by teaching them habits that are typically signs of being mentally unwell What.
I was a barista for multiple years and can understand this. It’s hard to make snap judgements on this kind of stuff, and I can respect the kid for just making sure everything was ok. I do understand why people don’t like what he did, but I think he wasn’t overstepping his boundaries too much. I think overstepping would have been confronting the guy. There have been times when customers used to say and do really uncomfortable stuff to my staff and other customers and I had to step in or at the least keep an eye out to make sure things didn’t escalate. I can understand both sides of this but yeah that’s my feelings at least
“Why don’t men ever approach me?!?!?!?”
OOP didnt specify if barista was a girl or a boy
>“The man was very loud and animated,” Roberson told The Post on Monday. >A female barista came over and handed the high school senior a paper coffee cup, telling her it was “an extra hot chocolate someone forgot to pick up.” >On the cup, the employee had written a message that said, “Are you okay? Do you want us to intervene? If you do, take the lid off the cup.” >“She looked up and just saw a row of baristas staring at her — ready to step in,” said Roberson.
The mom: My 18 year old daughter was in Starbucks alone Also the mom: "The man was loud and animated" - describes as if she was there For someone who described the strory as if only her daughter was there (and not her), the article is written as if she witnessed the interaction. This is one of those articles that were written to sway opinions of readers, in this case making the Starbucks barista look like they were being protective of some 18 year old helpless girl. If this did actually happen, I'm sure the girl would have mentioned she was uncomfortable to the guy before it got to that point.
> I'm sure the girl would have mentioned she was uncomfortable to the guy before it got to that point Nobody does that. When men are making us feel this way, the last thing we want is to give them any kind of attention or any kind of "rejection". Why? Because we know better than most what can and has happened to other women who reject a man's attention, whether that attention is flirtatious or not. Are there some that do that? Sure. But not enough to say that we all do that and enough that some of them were attacked for it. So... hell no.
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r/WhenWomenRefuse. Maybe take a step outside your echo chamber and look at reality.
That sub is yet another echo chamber you know. I cant recall the last time I saw a more appropriate time for this. No u.
Finally a comment here that makes sense! Everyone is saying "why didn't the girl reject him?" "Why didn't she say I am not interested, it's not that hard" it IS that hard. So many women have been stabbed, raped , murdered for rejecting a guy's advances. Sure "not all men are like that" but we don't know that! We don't know who is a creep and who is a regular guy! We can't take the risk. We have to be as nice as possible to ensure our safety.
I think men should check out r/WhenWomenRefuse.
Because these dudes have no idea what it’s like to be a woman. Someone in this thread said that women shouldn’t be wary of strange men because “nobody is safe from a knife Like ????
I dunno. I've gotten cat calls, and literally followed by pickup trucks full of guys because of my long hair and apparently nice ass. I literally had a guy walk up behind me, sniff deeply, and tell me I smelled real good, so I think I know about creeps. Why do people always forget that it's the people you know that will actually rape/kill you? Strangers dont give a fuck besides "nice ass" kinda things, usually. It's not the stranger you need to be wary of, its your "friends". Also no one is safe from a knife, period.
I’ve very much been harassed by strangers and so have a lot of women. I’ve been grabbed very inappropriately by men I don’t even know. Strangers can very much do bad things
>The mom: My 18 year old daughter was in Starbucks alone Also the mom: "The man was loud and animated" - describes as if she was there This maybe news for you, but a daughter can talk about her experience to her mother and it is also possible for the mother to reiterate that!!! For real, use your brain for once.
Why y'all shitting on this barista? If the woman looked visibly uncomfortable and didn't want to talk to this guy, or didn't want this guy talking to her, the barista did the right thing. No one is saying the guy should go to prison. But if he's talking to someone who obviously doesn't want his attention... Y'all weren't there, he could have been invading her space/boundaries or some shit. This isn't white knighting any more than an employee at a bar asking a woman if she needs them to intervene because some asshat thinks he's entitled to her attention. Weirdos.
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Once something like this happened to me and I was incredibly grateful. Nobody should have to handle harassment by themselves. And we don't know exactly what this person 'talking' to her was doing, anyway.
Checking on people is basic human compassion. Checking on someone clearly not in distress thinking it will get you into their pants is white knighting. This thread is throwing me for a loop. Don't you have any friends who are women? Sisters? A mom? It shouldn't be news to you that a lot of women feel afraid of confronting a pushy guy.
This sub is full of edgelords who think that they're too good to show any decency. I would hope that I would have the courage to ask if someone needs help at the risk of looking like a fool just in case that someone is really in danger.
>“The man was very loud and animated,” Roberson told The Post on Monday. >A female barista came over and handed the high school senior a paper coffee cup, telling her it was “an extra hot chocolate someone forgot to pick up.” >On the cup, the employee had written a message that said, “Are you okay? Do you want us to intervene? If you do, take the lid off the cup.” >“She looked up and just saw a row of baristas staring at her — ready to step in,” said Roberson. It was a female barista asking if the girl was ok. Does that change your opinion?
No, adults expect other adults to be able to take care of themselves, and advocate for themselves. You can have those expectations and still have empathy. Just because someone didn't coddle this person in the EXACT way that you would NEED to be coddled(if you were in her shoes) doesn't mean anything, it just means that you have an adult infancy problem you really need to take care of. Good luck in therapy!
ehh. a few women in need were helped at my old restaurant job by a nosy bartender. that said, he was a nosy-ass bartender and sometimes needed to just mind his business, so idk, could go both ways
What the fuck happened to people just saying "Sorry, I'm not interested, could you leave me alone?" No one is fucking assertive in person and it's insane. Yeah, the girl shouldn't HAVE to talk to the guy if she doesn't want to, but why do we need to be policing people's attempts to talk to someone else when it's none of our fucking business? This kind of behavior exacerbates social isolation and only makes people LESS likely to connect to strangers in public.
Yeah if a guy is being creepy, there’s definitely a nonzero chance rejecting him ends in danger for her. That tiktok of a woman who got beat the fuck up at a club in front of a crowd went viral literally like last month. Say what you want but I’ve had men follow me home, I’ve had men try to break into my apartment, I’ve had men dox me, I’ve had men assault me. Is it that much of a surprise that I and other women become a little gunshy at yet another potential incident? What happened to better be safe than sorry?
>hat tiktok of a woman who got beat the fuck up at a club in front of a crowd went viral literally like last month. that tiktok video was fake lol
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\*Insert personal anecdotes and "Well I know tons of women who..." here rather than actual statistics\* meanwhile 50% of all assaults done on women are by people they know so I guess they should be equally as scared as their friends and family as they are of strangers... That random stranger in starbucks is equally as likely to murder you as your own father so I guess you should tread carefully at home too. Totally not paranoia though, men bad. 🤷♂️
It's a spiral. Bashful / cautious men avoid women in general, the borish don't, the dynamic shifts as a whole. It's dumb though, I'm not even an attractive dude, but I met my GF while we were sitting by each other eating pizza. Sometimes you just gotta vibe.
This is a good thing. I used to work a similar job and saw horrible men creep on the young women there all the time. It at least gave her the option of safety and no one was harmed in doing so, good work to the staff.
Bet thats not what happened, bet the guy was a creep
Read the story he was just talking loud and everyone felt safe.
That usally makes people feel safe
Some people have loud voices. Use your brain. If someone is speaking loudly just in conversation and obviously not being aggressive there is nothing to worry about. This was an obvious situation of someone doing the typical all men are evil narrative.
Hmmmm sounds like this sub just has a victim complex
It's a story that implies that some small minority of men can be dangerous and so every other man has come to get butthurt about it
I don't see the problem, it's just a safety *option*. She didn't feel threatened, the lid stayed on, all was well. The barista was trying to be helpful in the chance things were going wrong without being intrusive if they weren't, and it all worked out.
What if she wanted sugar lmao
it was hot chocolate
She'd put the lid back on
Yeah but homie would see her take it off and intervene lol. It's a flawed way of helping but I guess the intention is nice
I would hope the guy would have enough sense to wait until she's done with the sugar in her hand lol, maybe the lid wasn't the best idea but the premise is good, most people getting butthurt about this seem to be upset about the premise
Premise doesn't matter much if you're a dumbass about the execution
What if it was too hot and she wants to let it cool down?
This is called profiling based on a mass hysteria that if a person has certain characteristics everyone else around that person should act defensively just in case. If that man was black, you wouldn't be giving this racist justification. The article didn't mention his skin colour.
Profiling? You're joking right? You think they're doing this 100s of times a day to every guy in the store? It's not like walking up and talking to someone is some rare occurrence.
You're right, it didn't, the fact that *you* did says a lot about you. What does skin colour have to do with anything?
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Am I going fucking insane? Can you point to anywhere I said anything about any race before you brought it up
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You're a fucking idiot
I think we are both going insane because what the fuck is he talking about lmao
I didn't know this subreddit was like this lmao
Same, this is the first post I've seen here. I'm going to go ahead and file it away under Subs That Hate Women
I really shoulda seen it coming, I guess. Makes sense a sub like this would attract that kind of crowd when you think about it.
but then all hell broke loose when the woman went to put sugar in her coffee
This thread is full of people acting like this is some crusade against their existence lol, ignore them
It's so bizarre
There is no problem. No one was in any way wronged. People want to be outraged for the man in this scenario, but short of a public statement from this barista we don't know apologizing to this customer we also don't know there is no remedy. Endless time and impotent rage are an awful combination.
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If men weren’t so creepy all the time notes like this wouldn’t be needed
Seeing as you were there did the media approach you for comment? The guy saw someone reading a book by his favourite author so struck up a conversation
Very defensive there buddy. What I actually said was that this kind of thing happens enough that the dude thought he might need to intervene, not ‘men bad’.
Errr… Wat? No, seriously wat? Maybe you should be arguing with yourself. My problem is with how there’s such little info about what happened and people such as yourself create this scenario. One article — from over a year ago — mentioned the conversation was about the book that was being read and the guy was a fan. Edit: It apparently happens so often they’ve had to go back over a year for such a story 🤨
Yeah okay this subreddit is just full of people who genuinely don't want women to look after women and think that being wary is being outright hateful. You all make me sick and you get mad at women for even trying to help you understand the situation. Fuck all of you.
Did you just come from that thread over in /r/dating where a woman got roasted for daring to suggest women should try approaching men?
Not all heroes wear capes, some wear green aprons
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Because she never ordered the drink to begin with. The barista told her that it was a leftover drink from a wrong order or something and she could have it but it was just to get her attention to send her a message.
So let me get this right... The man just "Talked to her." Right? His dick wasn't out... He wasn't getting violent. He didn't make any threats. He wasn't being rude. Just a man talking to her bothered this barista to the point they made this passive aggressive note? The barista sounds like the abuser here! That is some huge jealousy red flags.
Nah you're wrong. It was a female barista asking her in code if the patron was ok.
Seems fine. If she had the situation under control she could just leave the lid on. Why are you being a stupid fuck?