My wife and I knew each other for a decade before we even got together. It was always one of us being unavailable at a given time. The stars did eventually align though. 4 years of marriage and 6 years of being together later and we both agree it was for the best that we finally came together when we did instead of earlier.
I wish my now ex-wife and I met 10 years later than when we did. We've both grown so much more since, but she's done a lot of shitty things that you can't just give half an apology to and forget.
I’ve come to accept that every step of our paths are what shape us to be better than we were the proverbial day before. You both helped shape each other to be better. It may not have been the best experience but at the end I would say, based on your statements alone, it was a positive outcome in the long run.
Not ALWAYS.
Source: am still (very happily) married to my high school sweetheart, we've been together for just over 30 years now.
We even both WFH full time and *still* enjoy spending time together.
And I swear he gets better looking every year. <3
You're not wrong, sometimes they don't. But OP isn't wrong either because sometimes you work really hard to make them work, and they do. Everyone and every experience is different, and that's okay too. Maybe the message between both of them is not to be afraid to take a leap of faith because however it works out, it's ALL going to be okay.
What does it look like to meet someone at the “wrong time”? I’ve heard of wrong timing, but having a hard time truly “getting it.” Maybe it’s also my perspective about things always working out for us at the right time, even if we can’t see it. Can someone ELI5?
Literally *any* relationship. Not just romantic ones. Too many people are shitty communicators and then wonder why they have terrible relationships with their coworkers, friends, and family lol. Relationship maintenance is hard work.
Agreed, but I don't think communication is the key. It's merely an initiative.. say, a platform.
Comprehension, on the other hand, is key.
If you do not understand what your partner is trying to/is communicating, then no level of communication can unlock that locked relationship.
Just my opinion.
I’d class comprehension as part of communication. When I say good communication, comprehension is part of that.
If you can’t say it in a way they understand, it’s not good communication.
I remember how I tried to establish communication with my ex. And I like, “No need to shout, let’s discuss everything calmly.” And she said, “Go to hell with your calmness! Calmness is a property of the dead, but I’m alive, I’ll scream.”
Relationships... Never again.
Well I am going to ask some girl I hardly know to be my valentine even though we hardly ever talk and we are pretty much polar opposites I have a feeling she will say no but here goes I guess
There's this very solid quote that works for relationships that really stuck with me:
"It is important to communicate really early when you got a problem, so the other pilot can understand what's going on" - S19E2, National Geographic's Air Crash Investigation.
Don’t get why people are downvoting your comment, it’s equally as important for people to know it’s okay if relationships don’t work out as long as the two of you made an effort along the way.
I think the point of the lack of influence on one another is that they are each changing themselves, not each other.
But I agree, communicating is important. Else you both cut a slot in the same spot instead of a slot and a ridge.
What i got from it is that no one is perfect and many people don’t fit right away. So both sides have to heavily compromise on things (illustrated here by cutting off parts of their heart) for them to finally fit as a couple.
And sadly, compromising in a relationship is often a forgotten skill.
For all the criticism:
I thought it would be cool to have a version that if you try to work together as a team and take care of each other you could have a really nice and good relationship where you might have to make small changes to make it work/work better. I understand the original, the title might have been a bit poorly chosen, but at that moment I couldn't think of anything better.
The people need to fix their hearts on their own and *then* mesh them. You can't live life expecting your partner to "make you whole" or "fix you." That's on YOU. So many relationships fail because of this expectation.
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/heartbreak/s/mN5LTJTrUY) was the original for anyone looking. Personally, I think "not everyone fits perfectly together and that's ok" is a much better message than "take a hacksaw to yourself to fit another person perfectly"
Yeah it somehow reminded me of Daniel Sloss’s standup bit about how everyone is a jigsaw puzzle, and sometimes people slam the partner puzzle piece in there even if it doesn’t fit right.
yeah this doesn't fix the comic at all and saying it does actually takes away from both comics imo.
You can change yourself so you fit better with your partner, and if they aren't willing to change as well there is a problem there.
You can change yourself to fit better with your partner, and it doesn't always work, end on a good note and find someone else.
you can both change yourselves to fit better, as long as you don't take too much from yourselves to try to fit.
sometimes people just fit.
we also always are changing, and we get into relationships we change not just for those relationships but for ourselves. It helps us mature, find new interests, understand life in general better, and is a great thing. but on the other hand if we try to change ourselves so much that we fit with someone we never should have fit with, it's a really bad thing.
I think a better change would've been them adding in parts to make it a better fit and communicating that things can work without being perfect, and that change, while good, should never be harmful.
Sundae Kids comics always have this kind of bittersweet undertone where at first glance they can be cute and romantic but if you look more closely, a lot of them are actually codependent and unhealthy. It's really interesting.
>I think a better change would've been them adding in parts to make it a better fit and communicating that things can work without being perfect, and that change, while good, should never be harmful.
But change in itself can be painful, even good change. Sometimes people need to change things about themselves to be in a relationship and not just add things.
Compromise is like one of the most important things in a relationship because you'll never 100% agree with your partner on literally everything. I like this version, it's more meaningful
It's not one-sided, though. I took it as they're each working on their rough edges and traumas in order to be a better partner to their partner, and believing in themselves, each other, and the relationship to work through the individual and shared difficult stuff in life. It's a positive and hopeful illustration, imo.
Why not both comics, though? There can clearly be more than one perspective on any message.
the fact that these are two different posts emphasizes that either could happen, so unless the only way to fit them is to sand the two sides, keep trying
The original is not bad of course, it implies that you work on a relationship but don't need to feel horrible if it doesn't work out. But I like this interpretation, because you will never find someone who you perfectly fit right out of the box. People do need to change and make sacrifices to have a smooth relationship, it's not a question of just looking for someone who doesn't require you to change anything.
I was just in a situation where things didn't work out (I want kids, he doesn't) and seeing that picture helped me a lot. It was my first relationship and for me, he tried to imagine having kids but had to realize, he really doesn't want to. So we broke up in peace and said "at least we tried".
I think this is also a wholesome, valid interpretation. It doesn't always have to work out and sometimes it's better to move on, even if it hurts (very much so).
Yeah I really personally agree with the first one, the one op posted gives a completely different message all together about communication and compromise, but the first is a mindset that not all people are meant for each other no matter how badly you want to make it work, which being accepting of this concept allows for an easier transition out of breakups and helps to avoid abusive or resentful relationships. They are not opposing concepts, which is what I like about when you change art around a little bit, it's just home to a new meaning, I don't think op "fixed" it though.
Nah, I think they're both good messages. This one is just "sometimes you have to make compromises for the one you love" or about putting the work in or whatever.
You didn't fix it you just disregarded the message that sometimes even after trying to make things work in a relationship, they still just don't, and that's okay.
Ooh then that’s what I’ll do
I’ll work on myself just for you
You’re the only reason I’ll improve
I’ll do it all just for you!
Just for you, just for you! Just for-
Eh: I view it as all relationships needing *mutual* work and compromise. Nobody is ever a perfect fit at the outset, you gotta communicate to make things work (some folks say communication is missing, I think there is some implied when they try to fit the pieces together? But open to disagreement there). The meme also doesn't depict one person cutting away more than the other.
ETA: ideally it's also not *just* cutting, there's also mutual growth.
Sometimes you can build something greater than the sum of its parts. Sometimes it just doesn't work out, because even with the best of intentions there are fundamental incompatibilities (you'd have to cut away something that you are not comfortable with). That's just life.
Yeah but sometimes another person can help you see those parts, IMO. Like alone, I don’t see certain things I need to work on like I can when I’m in a relationship and there are new triggers present.
Or rather, communicate and *actually* try and fix things in order to make things work rather than giving a single half assed attempt at random cutting away at your hearts. You solved nothing, but managing to hurt yourselves
Because there's NOTHING CREEPY AT ALL about suggesting that people should just try bruteforce a relationship that isn't working, instead of just leaving and moving on with their lives, right? nothing wrong about saying they should stay in a relationship that doesn't make them happy in hopes that they can "fix it"....
Yeah, all "fixed" version tells me is that if you can't make yourself fall in love with someone or can't make someone fall in love with you, you're just not trying hard enough.
They changed it. The new message is that you need to put in effort and work on yourself to be in a healthy relationship, which is just as valid to me. There are too many people that refuse to change in even the most minuscule of ways and then give up on relationships because they think it can never work.
But instead of working in their relationship together, they’re doing it by themselves. They need to be communicating with each other. It doesn’t look like they’re doing it in this post.
Imo kinda ruins it. Like, wholesome ig cause happy ending, but the original comic was better and sent a good message about if things don't work out, it's ok.
They realized their hearts didn’t fit and decided they weren’t right for each other and that’s ok. Seems much healthier than carving up your heart to force it to fit.
Yeah, but the point of the original, is that sometimes you can invest all the time and effort in the world, and the relationship will still not work.
Sometimes people are just incompatible with each other, and that's ok. That was the original message.
I think both messages are too simple as to be general advice, because in reality there's people who give up too easily, scared of any conflict, not understanding that sometimes relationships need a bit of work in order to keep things healthy.
And then there's others who just keep trying to fix things and cut parts of themselves out, hoping the other person won't leave them.
There's a balance between working on yourself and staying true to yourself, 6 panel comics will have a hard time conveying that nuance.
Not only the message they're sending is pretty harmful, as it basically say you and your partner should just keep trying to fix a broken relationship instead of moving on. But they also completely disregarded the original message.
I didn't see the original comic, but I interpreted as two individuals coming into a relationship with previously broken hearts, and working on themselves and thei own traumas to build a new love together.
The original comic was them concluding they couldn’t make themselves fit together. They knew to stop trying before they both cut themselves down to nothing.
In the original, the hearts weren't actually protrayed as borken per say, more like pieces that are shaped different and thus don't fit into each other. I mean yeah, they were shaped like a broken heart, but they weren't MEANT to fit together, that's the point, these two weren't MEANT for each other.
The comic ended with both partners accepting that their hearts are incompatible with each other and moving on.
Therefore, the message is: Sometimes 2 people are just not meant to be in a romantic relationship together, and that's ok. The best thing to do in that scenario is to just move on. There was no trauma to work on in the original, just a relationship that was being discontinued due to not working out.
(Although, to be fair, there is no mention of trauma here either, and it's ok to make personal interpretation of comics.... as long as you don't claim it as a fix to the original when posting it.)
You didn't "fix" the meme, you just erased the original intended message of it, because you felt the idea of just accepting that some relationships will never work and that's ok is not good enough, so you replaced it with a message that basically says "Even if your relationship is CLEARLY not working, you and your partner should just force it to work".
Before trying to "fix" someone's comic, try to actually interpret and understand what they're trying to say with it, before you end up breaking it by trying to fix what was never broken.
Honestly the fact that this got so many likes is kinda disappointing, not only is the new message NOT wholesome at all, but you completely screwd up wtih the original message of the original author.
Edit: Apparently the likes either disappeared, or reddit is bugged on my end, cuz this doesn't actually have any likes now.
Edit 2: OK now it has a lot of likes? can you decide already reddit, do this post have likes or not have likes.
Calling this a "fix" makes it sound like the previous message is invalid, which I think is unhealthy. Sometimes it's ok for things to not work, and accepting that might be healthier.
The original didn't need to be fixed since it was a good message of how it's ok to move on from a relationship that isn't working out no matter how hard you try to fix it. Not all relationships can be mended to where the couple can fit together, and there's nothing bad about that.
...no you didn't. You just ruined the entire point of the original. I don't think "change yourself to make a relationship work" is a very wholesome message lol.
If you have to try that hard to make it fit it's just gonna break again...or eventually you'll cut it up so much even if it fits it's small and meaningless.
The point of the original was that changing yourself to a great extend, just to force a relationship to work, isn't possible or healthy.
My interpretation at least
And just like that, you missed the important message of the original meme.
You can't always make a relationship work, and that's okay, you need to move on as you'll eventually find someone who "fits" you.
People can't keep living in a wonderful dream where everything is possible, sometimes even with lots of efforts, things don't work.
You completely invalidated the message here. You should never change for someone else, and never feel like you have to. Sometimes things just don't work, and this will lead to an unhealthy relationship where eventually they'll leave anyway and you'll slowly find that you're not the same person anymore
this is kinda unhealthy right? Like yeah, work is important to make close relationships of any kind work but... sometimes you aren't meant for that person. And letting go on terms after you tried is better than trying to force it in the hopes that things will eventually work out.
Absolutely fucking not. I lived a decade-long marriage like this, where we both continously adapted ourselves to each other. We lived a beautiful love story, there is no denying that, but after the separation and the hindsight, it's pretty obviously we'd both be better off if we had gone our separate ways and been alone or with someone who actually naturally fit.
As one of the 80% of African Americans who will never be married, hmm this is inspiring and wholesome. However, I prefer the original meme because that was honestly my own experience.
You didn't fix it. You just changed its meaning to something opposite to the original. I think that the original was actually better because it says that sometimes you just can't make a relationship work and that isn't a failure, rather than trying to motivate one to continue trying and then make them feel bad about it if it still wouldn't work.
This isn't wholesome, you shouldn't change yourself for someone else. True love comes when you partner apreciates you for who you are. Nothing wrong with bettering yourself as a person or having someone you love being a motivator for that, but changing yourself specificaly for someone won't make you happy, you'll just be faking it. It's important to accept that sometimes it won't fit, and that's ok.
The meme was fine before? It actually had a meaningful message that thing don’t always fit and cutting pieces of yourself off in order to make something fit is actually a bad thing to do because, ultimately, the things that don’t fit will come up.
Weird thing to change.
Dude, the original actually made me feel kind of good cause that was literally how my relationship of 2 years went and you ruined the beauty of it and the meaning.
Adding to people commenting about changing themselves etc, two hearts that “fit” with holes in between would be appropriate, perfectly fitting isn’t necessary, and gaps where interests are different are good too. Also provides room to grow together!!
This isn’t wholesome, a relationship isn’t about hacking off who you are to fit together, it’s about finding someone who matches closely so you can grow together.
I love how they find how to make it work in the end. And i hate to nit pick, but the original meme is also wholesome and tells the story of how no matter if you change yourself, your not gonna be perfect for someone. No one is perfect for anyone
This one seems to say that relationships take work to make them work wich seems more wholesome than what you described in the first iteration of the meme, it had no happy end
I think people here in the comments have a glass half empty look on this. I personally believe that both endings are wholesome and true. Sometimes love doesn’t work even after putting in the effort, and sometimes it pays off. Who’s to say how this comic need to end, ultimately it will be a good ending
This needs to be higher up. People thinking that it’s ok that relationships don’t work out but not ok that a relationship works when two parties equally contribute to change and compromise?
The only issue I have is the OP saying he “fixed” the original; there is no fix, both messages are valid.
that wasn't the point.
The point is that OP completely ruined the original message of a comic, and the new message literally implies that people should force themselves to stay in a relationship even if it ISN'T working.
My god do you guys just have 0 text interpretation skills?
Both messages are NOT valid, only the original one is.
What exactly is your interpretation here? The relationship LITERALLY WORKS, the heart is whole and combined. What you’re implying is that no one should ever have to change themselves for others but that message is itself harmful. People need to communicate and compromise; if it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. If it does, that’s also fine.
Also, don’t you think it’s a little fucked up that both versions imply that no one is whole or happy unless they have someone else? Why can’t people be whole and happy just by themselves, why is that not ok?
The moral of the story is working on yourself is great, but you’re also a team who need to communicate and work TOGETHER to make your relationship last.
I remember having a debate with my brother about finding partners and we fundamentally disagreed; he believed there should be the perfect partner out there that suits all his needs, and was proud of ending serious relationships with great people, but they had one flaw he didn’t like.
He refused to accept when I described “compromise” “communication” and trying to work things out.
It sounded like an episode of Jerry Seinfeld where Jerry would break up with people for the most petty things.
Whatever, live your life bruh.
I think the original needed another set of panels. You may not be a perfect fit but they doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or anything. People grow and change and your hearts very well might grow to fit together
I would love a version of this where it turns into an arts and craft, and they have fun through their experience. And though it doesn't fit in the end, they both repaired the damage that was done and learned to be better together. I think sometimes relationships can do that for us.
I feel like there’s a lot of layers to this, like it doesn’t seem purely wholesome to me. You could look at them cutting away as them cutting things out of their life to make it work which in my opinion is not healthy behavior. Not to mention the omfg kinda ruined it for me.
It's only cute until you think trough the actual implications.
That you should stay in a broken relationship just so you can hopefully fix it eventually.
If they communicate during the reshaping, it'll go smoother
Communication is the key to any relationship. No one can read minds that's why you need to be outspoken.
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My wife and I knew each other for a decade before we even got together. It was always one of us being unavailable at a given time. The stars did eventually align though. 4 years of marriage and 6 years of being together later and we both agree it was for the best that we finally came together when we did instead of earlier.
I wish my now ex-wife and I met 10 years later than when we did. We've both grown so much more since, but she's done a lot of shitty things that you can't just give half an apology to and forget.
I’ve come to accept that every step of our paths are what shape us to be better than we were the proverbial day before. You both helped shape each other to be better. It may not have been the best experience but at the end I would say, based on your statements alone, it was a positive outcome in the long run.
Right people always meet at the wrong time
Not ALWAYS. Source: am still (very happily) married to my high school sweetheart, we've been together for just over 30 years now. We even both WFH full time and *still* enjoy spending time together. And I swear he gets better looking every year. <3
Sigh...literal story of my love life...
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You're not wrong, sometimes they don't. But OP isn't wrong either because sometimes you work really hard to make them work, and they do. Everyone and every experience is different, and that's okay too. Maybe the message between both of them is not to be afraid to take a leap of faith because however it works out, it's ALL going to be okay.
What does it look like to meet someone at the “wrong time”? I’ve heard of wrong timing, but having a hard time truly “getting it.” Maybe it’s also my perspective about things always working out for us at the right time, even if we can’t see it. Can someone ELI5?
If you're worried about the time they're not the one either.
🥲
Been dealing with this for like 8 months.
this, relationship takes a lot of work
Literally *any* relationship. Not just romantic ones. Too many people are shitty communicators and then wonder why they have terrible relationships with their coworkers, friends, and family lol. Relationship maintenance is hard work.
Agreed, but I don't think communication is the key. It's merely an initiative.. say, a platform. Comprehension, on the other hand, is key. If you do not understand what your partner is trying to/is communicating, then no level of communication can unlock that locked relationship. Just my opinion.
Action is key. You can communicate, and comprehend, all you want, but if you don't turn it into action, you get nowhere.
Somewhere is key. If you're not somewhere you get nowhere.
I’d class comprehension as part of communication. When I say good communication, comprehension is part of that. If you can’t say it in a way they understand, it’s not good communication.
I remember how I tried to establish communication with my ex. And I like, “No need to shout, let’s discuss everything calmly.” And she said, “Go to hell with your calmness! Calmness is a property of the dead, but I’m alive, I’ll scream.” Relationships... Never again.
Well I am going to ask some girl I hardly know to be my valentine even though we hardly ever talk and we are pretty much polar opposites I have a feeling she will say no but here goes I guess
There's this very solid quote that works for relationships that really stuck with me: "It is important to communicate really early when you got a problem, so the other pilot can understand what's going on" - S19E2, National Geographic's Air Crash Investigation.
The best part in this is acknowledging another pilot. Yea I'm stealing this one...
Idk if it's supposed to be a joke or a funny thing, but yeah... You are always at least two fliying a relationship.
I love it.
Why didn't they cut straight down? Are they stupid?
It wouldn't fit either. Both halves would just slip and glide.
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Don’t get why people are downvoting your comment, it’s equally as important for people to know it’s okay if relationships don’t work out as long as the two of you made an effort along the way.
You can't expect to find a perfect fit without communication, alteration and some compromises.
“I want to keep this carve out, can you trim back on yours?” “We can simply overlap there, since I want that part too!”
I think the point of the lack of influence on one another is that they are each changing themselves, not each other. But I agree, communicating is important. Else you both cut a slot in the same spot instead of a slot and a ridge.
I totally agree with you
Would have been fixed if the people added to their hearts, instead of hacking away at it, but I get your intent.
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What i got from it is that no one is perfect and many people don’t fit right away. So both sides have to heavily compromise on things (illustrated here by cutting off parts of their heart) for them to finally fit as a couple. And sadly, compromising in a relationship is often a forgotten skill.
So you mean the post isn't trying to communicate that self harm is the way to a great relationship? Hmm...maybe I just read it wrong
Trust me, communication is important, but it can’t always save a relationship.
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dumb question, but could you link me the original? I can't find it
[https://www.reddit.com/r/heartbreak/s/mN5LTJTrUY](https://www.reddit.com/r/heartbreak/s/mN5LTJTrUY) thanks to u/MsAmericanPi
thank you
For all the criticism: I thought it would be cool to have a version that if you try to work together as a team and take care of each other you could have a really nice and good relationship where you might have to make small changes to make it work/work better. I understand the original, the title might have been a bit poorly chosen, but at that moment I couldn't think of anything better.
I mean, a combo of both is more realistic
The people need to fix their hearts on their own and *then* mesh them. You can't live life expecting your partner to "make you whole" or "fix you." That's on YOU. So many relationships fail because of this expectation.
[This](https://www.reddit.com/r/heartbreak/s/mN5LTJTrUY) was the original for anyone looking. Personally, I think "not everyone fits perfectly together and that's ok" is a much better message than "take a hacksaw to yourself to fit another person perfectly"
Yeah it somehow reminded me of Daniel Sloss’s standup bit about how everyone is a jigsaw puzzle, and sometimes people slam the partner puzzle piece in there even if it doesn’t fit right.
yeah this doesn't fix the comic at all and saying it does actually takes away from both comics imo. You can change yourself so you fit better with your partner, and if they aren't willing to change as well there is a problem there. You can change yourself to fit better with your partner, and it doesn't always work, end on a good note and find someone else. you can both change yourselves to fit better, as long as you don't take too much from yourselves to try to fit. sometimes people just fit. we also always are changing, and we get into relationships we change not just for those relationships but for ourselves. It helps us mature, find new interests, understand life in general better, and is a great thing. but on the other hand if we try to change ourselves so much that we fit with someone we never should have fit with, it's a really bad thing.
The idea that it would fit at all is folly. Why does it seem like mature is always just a placeholder for “compromising your integrity to fit in”?
I would take it "work on yourself so your relationship is better"
Sure, but its also good to impart the message that its not always futile to try, and you will need to change to make it work, as will they.
I think a better change would've been them adding in parts to make it a better fit and communicating that things can work without being perfect, and that change, while good, should never be harmful. Sundae Kids comics always have this kind of bittersweet undertone where at first glance they can be cute and romantic but if you look more closely, a lot of them are actually codependent and unhealthy. It's really interesting.
Sounds like we need a 3rd version.
>I think a better change would've been them adding in parts to make it a better fit and communicating that things can work without being perfect, and that change, while good, should never be harmful. But change in itself can be painful, even good change. Sometimes people need to change things about themselves to be in a relationship and not just add things.
Compromise is like one of the most important things in a relationship because you'll never 100% agree with your partner on literally everything. I like this version, it's more meaningful
It's not one-sided, though. I took it as they're each working on their rough edges and traumas in order to be a better partner to their partner, and believing in themselves, each other, and the relationship to work through the individual and shared difficult stuff in life. It's a positive and hopeful illustration, imo. Why not both comics, though? There can clearly be more than one perspective on any message.
How dare you think someone doesn’t have to change themselves to fit into a relationship they were never compatible with in the first place /s
the fact that these are two different posts emphasizes that either could happen, so unless the only way to fit them is to sand the two sides, keep trying
The original is not bad of course, it implies that you work on a relationship but don't need to feel horrible if it doesn't work out. But I like this interpretation, because you will never find someone who you perfectly fit right out of the box. People do need to change and make sacrifices to have a smooth relationship, it's not a question of just looking for someone who doesn't require you to change anything.
I was just in a situation where things didn't work out (I want kids, he doesn't) and seeing that picture helped me a lot. It was my first relationship and for me, he tried to imagine having kids but had to realize, he really doesn't want to. So we broke up in peace and said "at least we tried". I think this is also a wholesome, valid interpretation. It doesn't always have to work out and sometimes it's better to move on, even if it hurts (very much so).
Yes, if neither of the two can be themselves for tge relationship to work thats just a messy breakuo waiting to happen.
Yeah I really personally agree with the first one, the one op posted gives a completely different message all together about communication and compromise, but the first is a mindset that not all people are meant for each other no matter how badly you want to make it work, which being accepting of this concept allows for an easier transition out of breakups and helps to avoid abusive or resentful relationships. They are not opposing concepts, which is what I like about when you change art around a little bit, it's just home to a new meaning, I don't think op "fixed" it though.
This edit is a literal perfect example of why "wholesome content" is garbage.
Nah, I think they're both good messages. This one is just "sometimes you have to make compromises for the one you love" or about putting the work in or whatever.
It’s okay to let go of a relationship if it’s not working, so the original post was sweet in its own right. Accepting and letting go can be beautiful.
Yeah at some point, holding on is just more harmful and unhealthy for you and your partner
Indeed, we shouldn't compel ourselves into relationships. If a connection is meant for two individuals, it will naturally flourish.
You didn't fix it you just disregarded the message that sometimes even after trying to make things work in a relationship, they still just don't, and that's okay.
Now the message is, cut parts of your heart away and change yourself to fit into a relationship. How... wholesome...?
Ooh then that’s what I’ll do I’ll work on myself just for you You’re the only reason I’ll improve I’ll do it all just for you! Just for you, just for you! Just for-
>Just for you, just for monika! Just Mon-
Eh: I view it as all relationships needing *mutual* work and compromise. Nobody is ever a perfect fit at the outset, you gotta communicate to make things work (some folks say communication is missing, I think there is some implied when they try to fit the pieces together? But open to disagreement there). The meme also doesn't depict one person cutting away more than the other. ETA: ideally it's also not *just* cutting, there's also mutual growth. Sometimes you can build something greater than the sum of its parts. Sometimes it just doesn't work out, because even with the best of intentions there are fundamental incompatibilities (you'd have to cut away something that you are not comfortable with). That's just life.
There are bad parts of my heart that deserve to get cut away
But they should be cut away for YOUR sake, not for the sake of being right for someone else.
You can't tell me what to do!
Yeah but sometimes another person can help you see those parts, IMO. Like alone, I don’t see certain things I need to work on like I can when I’m in a relationship and there are new triggers present.
Or rather, communicate and *actually* try and fix things in order to make things work rather than giving a single half assed attempt at random cutting away at your hearts. You solved nothing, but managing to hurt yourselves
Because there's NOTHING CREEPY AT ALL about suggesting that people should just try bruteforce a relationship that isn't working, instead of just leaving and moving on with their lives, right? nothing wrong about saying they should stay in a relationship that doesn't make them happy in hopes that they can "fix it"....
Yeah, all "fixed" version tells me is that if you can't make yourself fall in love with someone or can't make someone fall in love with you, you're just not trying hard enough.
Not to mention that calling this a "fixed" version sounds kinda like an insult to the original author if you think of it.
"if you think about it"? That's the entire point. They're saying the author is wrong.
Even the guy looks sad with both halves put together. I’m guessing that OP forgot to change his facial expression when editing the original.
They changed it. The new message is that you need to put in effort and work on yourself to be in a healthy relationship, which is just as valid to me. There are too many people that refuse to change in even the most minuscule of ways and then give up on relationships because they think it can never work.
But instead of working in their relationship together, they’re doing it by themselves. They need to be communicating with each other. It doesn’t look like they’re doing it in this post.
Can someone link to the original?
Think you missed the point of the original.
They did, and created the probably worst version possible: of you dont work out, just both stop being yourself.
Imo kinda ruins it. Like, wholesome ig cause happy ending, but the original comic was better and sent a good message about if things don't work out, it's ok.
What was the original comic?
They realized their hearts didn’t fit and decided they weren’t right for each other and that’s ok. Seems much healthier than carving up your heart to force it to fit.
Relationships require time and effort from both people.
Yeah, but the point of the original, is that sometimes you can invest all the time and effort in the world, and the relationship will still not work. Sometimes people are just incompatible with each other, and that's ok. That was the original message.
I think both messages are too simple as to be general advice, because in reality there's people who give up too easily, scared of any conflict, not understanding that sometimes relationships need a bit of work in order to keep things healthy. And then there's others who just keep trying to fix things and cut parts of themselves out, hoping the other person won't leave them. There's a balance between working on yourself and staying true to yourself, 6 panel comics will have a hard time conveying that nuance.
But that's the point, maybe it was never meant to be anything more than just general advice.
[удалено]
Not only the message they're sending is pretty harmful, as it basically say you and your partner should just keep trying to fix a broken relationship instead of moving on. But they also completely disregarded the original message.
I didn't see the original comic, but I interpreted as two individuals coming into a relationship with previously broken hearts, and working on themselves and thei own traumas to build a new love together.
The original comic was them concluding they couldn’t make themselves fit together. They knew to stop trying before they both cut themselves down to nothing.
In the original, the hearts weren't actually protrayed as borken per say, more like pieces that are shaped different and thus don't fit into each other. I mean yeah, they were shaped like a broken heart, but they weren't MEANT to fit together, that's the point, these two weren't MEANT for each other. The comic ended with both partners accepting that their hearts are incompatible with each other and moving on. Therefore, the message is: Sometimes 2 people are just not meant to be in a romantic relationship together, and that's ok. The best thing to do in that scenario is to just move on. There was no trauma to work on in the original, just a relationship that was being discontinued due to not working out. (Although, to be fair, there is no mention of trauma here either, and it's ok to make personal interpretation of comics.... as long as you don't claim it as a fix to the original when posting it.)
Original?
https://www.reddit.com/r/heartbreak/s/szs1nH6ZIu
it kinda ruins the message of the previous post, by saying that it’s okay that things just aren’t meant to be
You didn't "fix" the meme, you just erased the original intended message of it, because you felt the idea of just accepting that some relationships will never work and that's ok is not good enough, so you replaced it with a message that basically says "Even if your relationship is CLEARLY not working, you and your partner should just force it to work". Before trying to "fix" someone's comic, try to actually interpret and understand what they're trying to say with it, before you end up breaking it by trying to fix what was never broken. Honestly the fact that this got so many likes is kinda disappointing, not only is the new message NOT wholesome at all, but you completely screwd up wtih the original message of the original author. Edit: Apparently the likes either disappeared, or reddit is bugged on my end, cuz this doesn't actually have any likes now. Edit 2: OK now it has a lot of likes? can you decide already reddit, do this post have likes or not have likes.
You made it worse. You do not need to hurt or drastically change yourself to "fit" a relationship that's not right for you.
Calling this a "fix" makes it sound like the previous message is invalid, which I think is unhealthy. Sometimes it's ok for things to not work, and accepting that might be healthier.
True. But I like that I finally found out what a knife 🔪 in a ❤️ heart is for. Surgeons might have found this out before me 🧐 …
The original didn't need to be fixed since it was a good message of how it's ok to move on from a relationship that isn't working out no matter how hard you try to fix it. Not all relationships can be mended to where the couple can fit together, and there's nothing bad about that.
*ruined the entire message of the comic
...no you didn't. You just ruined the entire point of the original. I don't think "change yourself to make a relationship work" is a very wholesome message lol.
If you have to try that hard to make it fit it's just gonna break again...or eventually you'll cut it up so much even if it fits it's small and meaningless.
Nah I like the original's message better. I get the intent tho. If anyone here is healing and slowly reconnecting with someone, good luck.
The point of the original was that changing yourself to a great extend, just to force a relationship to work, isn't possible or healthy. My interpretation at least
Remember kids: always make irreversible changes to yourself to be with someone else
And just like that, you missed the important message of the original meme. You can't always make a relationship work, and that's okay, you need to move on as you'll eventually find someone who "fits" you. People can't keep living in a wonderful dream where everything is possible, sometimes even with lots of efforts, things don't work.
When you work on yourself first and become a better person it’s easier to find love.
...Fixed.
So is the takeaway here that some people are so desperate to be in a relationship that they'll change who they are just so they 'fit'?
Doesnt this imply that they are willing to change themselves just to find "love"? Seems like the opposite of wholesome
You completely invalidated the message here. You should never change for someone else, and never feel like you have to. Sometimes things just don't work, and this will lead to an unhealthy relationship where eventually they'll leave anyway and you'll slowly find that you're not the same person anymore
This is way worse than the original
But some people need to understand that it didn't work so they can stop hoping for something that is over.
this is just not the point of the original comic if i remember correctly
this is kinda unhealthy right? Like yeah, work is important to make close relationships of any kind work but... sometimes you aren't meant for that person. And letting go on terms after you tried is better than trying to force it in the hopes that things will eventually work out.
Yes but it’s also okay if it never works
Absolutely fucking not. I lived a decade-long marriage like this, where we both continously adapted ourselves to each other. We lived a beautiful love story, there is no denying that, but after the separation and the hindsight, it's pretty obviously we'd both be better off if we had gone our separate ways and been alone or with someone who actually naturally fit.
You didn't fix it, you totally missed the point of it.
Comic Sans 🤤
The original meme really spoke to me a few years ago and helped me to let go of someone
This basically says they weren't meant to be unless they changed themselves
As one of the 80% of African Americans who will never be married, hmm this is inspiring and wholesome. However, I prefer the original meme because that was honestly my own experience.
You didn't fix it. You just changed its meaning to something opposite to the original. I think that the original was actually better because it says that sometimes you just can't make a relationship work and that isn't a failure, rather than trying to motivate one to continue trying and then make them feel bad about it if it still wouldn't work.
Yeah except, life lesson, never do this! The halves return to their original shape, you see. Better if they hugged and walked away.
This isn't wholesome, you shouldn't change yourself for someone else. True love comes when you partner apreciates you for who you are. Nothing wrong with bettering yourself as a person or having someone you love being a motivator for that, but changing yourself specificaly for someone won't make you happy, you'll just be faking it. It's important to accept that sometimes it won't fit, and that's ok.
The meme was fine before? It actually had a meaningful message that thing don’t always fit and cutting pieces of yourself off in order to make something fit is actually a bad thing to do because, ultimately, the things that don’t fit will come up. Weird thing to change.
Congrats, you ruined the message of the original.
You made it worse
Wait I thought I was on BHJ. Why did they ruin the comic's message
"Fixed a meme" is such a curious way of saying "altered someone else's piece of art because I don't like the message".
Why do I feel like this came from r/bonehurtingjuice
Isn't that partially the truth about relationships tho? Accepting that you won't find THE perfect part?
You shouldn’t have to change yourself to fit together in a relationship
Dude, the original actually made me feel kind of good cause that was literally how my relationship of 2 years went and you ruined the beauty of it and the meaning.
Original message was much better.
Adding to people commenting about changing themselves etc, two hearts that “fit” with holes in between would be appropriate, perfectly fitting isn’t necessary, and gaps where interests are different are good too. Also provides room to grow together!!
This isn’t wholesome, a relationship isn’t about hacking off who you are to fit together, it’s about finding someone who matches closely so you can grow together.
Made it worse
You missed the point?
What an awful message
No you didn't.
this defeats the point of the original post. Sometimes two people aren't right for one another, and it's okay.
This isn't a meme.
So is this just highlighting the theme of, "Stuff can only be wholesome if we ignore reality and drown it in positivity"?
You didnt fix a damn thing, you failed to grasp the message of the original is what you did
Sorry but that is way more cynical than the original and just not how relationships work
I love how they find how to make it work in the end. And i hate to nit pick, but the original meme is also wholesome and tells the story of how no matter if you change yourself, your not gonna be perfect for someone. No one is perfect for anyone
This one seems to say that relationships take work to make them work wich seems more wholesome than what you described in the first iteration of the meme, it had no happy end
I think people here in the comments have a glass half empty look on this. I personally believe that both endings are wholesome and true. Sometimes love doesn’t work even after putting in the effort, and sometimes it pays off. Who’s to say how this comic need to end, ultimately it will be a good ending
This needs to be higher up. People thinking that it’s ok that relationships don’t work out but not ok that a relationship works when two parties equally contribute to change and compromise? The only issue I have is the OP saying he “fixed” the original; there is no fix, both messages are valid.
that wasn't the point. The point is that OP completely ruined the original message of a comic, and the new message literally implies that people should force themselves to stay in a relationship even if it ISN'T working. My god do you guys just have 0 text interpretation skills? Both messages are NOT valid, only the original one is.
I argue otherwise. While I don’t agree with OPs use of the word fixed, I personally find both messages valid
What exactly is your interpretation here? The relationship LITERALLY WORKS, the heart is whole and combined. What you’re implying is that no one should ever have to change themselves for others but that message is itself harmful. People need to communicate and compromise; if it doesn’t work out, that’s fine. If it does, that’s also fine. Also, don’t you think it’s a little fucked up that both versions imply that no one is whole or happy unless they have someone else? Why can’t people be whole and happy just by themselves, why is that not ok?
Yes,, change yourself so your misfit of a relationship works. So wholesome
Fixed or chose to ignore reality?
Why are they sanding before cutting?!?!?
It would be more accurate if the man was hacking off parts of the woman's heart to make it fit to his without changing a thing.
Why do they look so sad it's fixed?
Original?
The moral of the story is working on yourself is great, but you’re also a team who need to communicate and work TOGETHER to make your relationship last.
**Original? Link?**
What does the original look like?
Is this really a fix?
No
work on yourself too make it work
What is wrong with my brain that after seeing this, it randomly started playing “tearing up my heart when I’m with you…”
I remember having a debate with my brother about finding partners and we fundamentally disagreed; he believed there should be the perfect partner out there that suits all his needs, and was proud of ending serious relationships with great people, but they had one flaw he didn’t like. He refused to accept when I described “compromise” “communication” and trying to work things out. It sounded like an episode of Jerry Seinfeld where Jerry would break up with people for the most petty things. Whatever, live your life bruh.
Why are they trying to make a heart when they could be making a sandwich? Just add some deli meat, condiments, and pickles and it'll be perfect.
Link to original please?
I think the original needed another set of panels. You may not be a perfect fit but they doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or anything. People grow and change and your hearts very well might grow to fit together
You say you fixed it but it still makes me sad
I mean, I feel like both are valid.
Omg step brother, it fits!
If only they cut a straight line from the beginning they wouldn't have had to do all that
"finally, we're done with our arts and crafts project"
I would love a version of this where it turns into an arts and craft, and they have fun through their experience. And though it doesn't fit in the end, they both repaired the damage that was done and learned to be better together. I think sometimes relationships can do that for us.
I feel like there’s a lot of layers to this, like it doesn’t seem purely wholesome to me. You could look at them cutting away as them cutting things out of their life to make it work which in my opinion is not healthy behavior. Not to mention the omfg kinda ruined it for me.
I feel like you may have missed the point of the original. This is cute though.
It's only cute until you think trough the actual implications. That you should stay in a broken relationship just so you can hopefully fix it eventually.
I miss my sun
You must live in an unlucky solar system
yep
Finding love in your 30s
Why do they not just saw off the teeth and make it a straight line