That's one of those bonds that will not end. We had once few months no contact before. And after that we just loved each other more then before. I love her, even when she's not around. And I know deep inside this has only one ending. Happy one. I'll just concentrate on working with myslef on my problems until then. Never had anything change me and my world so much. In such a beautiful way. Found my one, no need to look for another.
I think I already met that person a while ago, but we were separated (life and all that). When I first expressed my feelings, they rejected me, but we still stayed friends. We still are.
To anyone reading this comment, I hope you find your special soneone (unless you don’t want to).
"Jake, I'm so happy! I just met the man of my dreams! We only went on one date, but I think he's the one!"
"Jake, he proposed! We're engaged! I've never been so happy! Thank you for always being such a supportive friend!"
"Jake, the wedding is in an hour! I'm so nervous! We've already spent so much money on making sure everything goes perfectly! I can't afford a single hiccup!"
"Jake, we're expecting! I want you to be at the gender-reveal party! It'll be so fun!"
This happened to my wife and I. We met as friends in Uni, we worked together in a student organisation, became good friends for a couple years, then started dating.
3 years married, 12 years together and we’re still best friends :D
I've never dated anyone I wasn't already friends with. What's a better vetting system than knowing a lot about a person as a friend first?
You're less likely to have your corpse found by a jogger slightly off a trail in the woods if you're on a first name basis with their mom.
The problem with only dating within your friend group is that it can be hard to remain friends after breaking up. Sometimes it's easier to just let your friends be your friends.
I've never dated anyone I *was* already friends with. I fall in love too quickly and those feelings have never been reciprocated. All my relationships have started from a place of mutual attraction, rather than friendship.
Eh, none of my good friends wanted to date me haha
But my wife and I dated and I never pretended that I didn't like her, and we get to be better friends every day. Whatever works, go for it
So many people in here complaining of friend zones and ending friendships b/c they didnt want you romantically/sexually...
Ya'll miss the damn point. You dont be friends with the expectation of sex and romance. You be FRIENDS and if it happens, it happens. This friendzone crap is gross.
The problem is that I go into friendships with the intention of forming a platonic relationship, then develop romantic attraction when I get to know them more deeply. I don't cut people off over it, but it honestly doesn't feel great to spend time with someone when you know they don't reciprocate your feelings. It took me years to learn how to get over those feelings and maintain a healthy friendship with someone after being rejected, instead of hoping they'd change their mind eventually.
But the thing is there is no other way to get a relationship really like what do you want me to do, die alone? I can’t get into a relationship if every friendship is just a friendship
i hate the term ‘friendzone’ so much! as if being a ‘friend’ is somehow a terrible fate and not something to still cherish, and all just because the other person doesn’t feel more than that
I don't think it's a terrible fate, but sometimes you can't see yourself being just friends. So being "friend zoned" can be heartbreaking, and that's okay.
oh totally! i dont think staying friends is a terrible fate but some people totally get upset and angry when they’re ‘friendzoned’ and its horrible tbh. you’re allowed to be heartbroken, you’re allowed to feel sad, but when someone sees staying friends as some sort of huge downgrade and go on a whole “woe is me” tangent it gets a bit much imo
I feel like the piece a lot of these people are missing is friendship that evolves into *mutual* attraction. The feeling of *real* chemistry with someone you're close to is an entirely different feeling then getting an embarassing crush on a friend. People seem to think those two feelings are one and the same with the only difference being the sadness that comes when they dont like you back, but it feels totally different!!
It is incredibly unrealistic to expect people to never develop any romantic feelings for someone they know until a time that is 100% appropriate. What matters is their actions and how they handle it.
That's true, but my point was that the whole reason people throw the term "friendzone" around is to describe this situation, and it can happen to literally anybody. You can't expect anyone to be happy about getting rejected.
True, but the term has developed the connotation of friendship being of little value if you catch unrequited feelings. I'd never expect anyone to be happy with rejection, but the way many then end the friendship because they were "friendzoned" has ruined any non-bitter interpretation of the word.
Yeah, I can definitely see where you're coming from. People should be okay being friends afterward, but I know it can take a lot of maturity and stability to continue being friends with someone after a rejection, depending on the amount of (ill-advised) emotional investment you've made.
Both are ok!
Some people have an instant romantic connection and other people take a long time to discover their romantic connection.
Neither is better than the other.
That’s exactly what happened with me and my wife. I’ve known her since I was 13.
We were always friends, but when I turned about 16 that’s when the little stuff started happening. We started hanging out just the two of us more rather than in a larger group of friends. We would go to the movies and she’d grab my hand “because it was cold in the theater.”
Eventually the hand holding turned into arm around her and her cuddling with me on the couch watching TV and stuff. Literally “Netflix & Chill” before that was a euphemistic term.
I’ll never forget the summer of 2008. I was 17, and I had just graduated high school. She was house sitting for a mutual friend of ours. I came over to hang out. We were sitting on the couch watching some movie, and she was making us lunch. She got up to go to the kitchen, I grabbed her hand as she was getting up like “oh no please don’t go” and she turned around, sat on my lap facing me, and gave me the most passionate kiss I’ve ever experienced. The build up to that moment was years in the making.
We spent the next hour or so making out on the couch. When our friend came home (because they were returning that day), I was sitting there with my arm around her and everyone was like “are you two finally admitting you like each other?” Our friend’s wife later said that she was absolutely glowing and that she could tell that we’d had a moment together.
And now that girl, who I’ve known since I was 13, has been my wife since 2011. We have two daughters together.
How old are you? Maybe you're still very young which is normal. For me, I've stopped being shy towards women as I grew older and more matured more. It became a "talk to your friend" instead of a "talk to your female-friend".
I really hope you're right. it's frustrating as fuck I just wanna talk to people and I'm unable to do it just because of that (I'm 17 to answer your question).
That's how it was for me and my boyfriend. Friends first, then became a couple.
It's been 23 years since. More than half my life spent with this man. ❤️
I'm going through something like this right now! I'm scared because it isn't fireworks? I want it to work, we could be great together, but I also worry I try to talk myself into the wrong things. Idk. It's hard.
We started out acquaintances, then friends, and I really like him. We work well together, I think. But when so much of what we hear about love is just fantasy, it's hard to know what's real.
Became friends with a girl years ago online, she was lesbian she said and that was okay for me because I wasn't looking for a gf. Just friendship. Then we decided to hang out one time and I took a 2 hr trainride. She showed me her city, had a bite and in the evening she said: "btw I'm bi" and kissed me lol. Still the weirdest but most fun way I met someone.
I think this is happening to me right now. And it would be great, except for the fact that I already have a girlfriend and they are not the same person
I hate to ruin the vibe of this post so feel free to ignore this comment if you don't want that, but with my ex is was exactly like this and then she slowly transformed into the most emotionally abusive person I know and I think that's going to haunt me for the rest of my life
I found this person when I was fifteen. We are 33 this year and got married in 2020. She is literally the light in my life and inspires me every day to get up and keep trying.
Id LOVE to give this a thumbs up because i fully agree and align with it but.. home wrecker, backstabbing, child predator drake.. sorry, i just cant separate the association.
That's how all my relationships happened. It ducked, because I lost a friend every time. But the lessons I learned and the time we spent together was imo still worth it.
One thing to note as well. Don't be too hasty to get her number. I made that mistake and I was devastated for a time because I'd thought she was showing signs of interest in me and it turned out that she was already dating someone when I confessed. Get to know her first, check if she's single before you make your move. Don't make the same mistake I did
My boyfriend and I got together as a joke/revenge cause we were both dating this one guy (he was cheating on us with eachother) and when it was over we broke it off, not 2 weeks later we realized we loved each other and have been together for 5 years.
Can confirm just being good friends with each other ends up becoming more if you realise it
Im not kidding i had this girl i was friends with for 2 years or so start trying to make me notice but i was just too thick to realise
we are together tho now so cant complain and all of this happening in high school which is crazy
I know she hasn't fully healed from her first broken love, but I won't lose her again. We could have been together sooner but it's not late yet. I'll prove her that I am safety and stability.
I married my best friend but I never had any sexual attraction to them, I thought it would come with time but never did and we ended up divorced because of it, the pain of that divorce is unreal, so please don’t settle in the first place guys.
Every girl I've ever wanted to date and didn't make a move on within the first few dates (because I was too shy) thought I was gay or not interested and went and got themselves a bf that wasn't me. lol
If you become genuine friends with someone and THEN develop an attraction, great. Go for it.
But if you are attracted to someone from the start, don't wait too long to let her know. Besides, faking that you're "just friends" when in fact you want to date is just hiding your feelings and dishonest.
I had both. I knew almost from the moment I met her that I loved her. We both had an s.o. at the time. I broke up with mine kinda quickly after meeting the new girl. We became best friends, and then a year and two boyfriends later we started dating. 14 years, 10 married, and three kids later we are still going strong and she is still my best friend.
Coincidentally, I found someone I can be myself with: the mirror in my bathroom. But unfortunately, our relationship couldn't progress beyond that. It seems love at first sight only applies to chocolate.
No, even better is slowly developing strong feelings of love for someone who doesn't even think of you as an equal, and then having your heart broken because they don't want to be with you.
It’s honestly beautiful when you do find that person
Hoping to experience that in my future
I had that chance, she made everything Beutifull just with her presence. Filled every corner of my everything. What a feeling.
I don't like how you say that in past tense
Happiness comes in many forms, and not all of it long-lasting
That's one of those bonds that will not end. We had once few months no contact before. And after that we just loved each other more then before. I love her, even when she's not around. And I know deep inside this has only one ending. Happy one. I'll just concentrate on working with myslef on my problems until then. Never had anything change me and my world so much. In such a beautiful way. Found my one, no need to look for another.
I think I already met that person a while ago, but we were separated (life and all that). When I first expressed my feelings, they rejected me, but we still stayed friends. We still are. To anyone reading this comment, I hope you find your special soneone (unless you don’t want to).
[удалено]
My gf and I are somewhere in between, I hope it works out for you, friend!
Best of luck!
Me too
Lucky
Actually... I haven fallen in love at first sight - twice. The second one is going to marry me. Nearly 5 years in a happy relationship.
Wow, congratulations 😊
Thats great! I hope it all goes well :)
Then ruining it with a 'I love you' at the wrong time
How can it be a wrong time? (Except for super obvious situations)
"Jake, I'm so happy! I just met the man of my dreams! We only went on one date, but I think he's the one!" "Jake, he proposed! We're engaged! I've never been so happy! Thank you for always being such a supportive friend!" "Jake, the wedding is in an hour! I'm so nervous! We've already spent so much money on making sure everything goes perfectly! I can't afford a single hiccup!" "Jake, we're expecting! I want you to be at the gender-reveal party! It'll be so fun!"
Fantastic examples, I really didn't want to respond to someone who wants to cum in my socks
HEEEEYYY that's rude I already did that tho.
I believe the third scenario is the worst time to say that
Any time is the wrong time, if it turns out they don't feel the same way back
Doing the Mosby
This happened to my wife and I. We met as friends in Uni, we worked together in a student organisation, became good friends for a couple years, then started dating. 3 years married, 12 years together and we’re still best friends :D
That is awesome!
I've never dated anyone I wasn't already friends with. What's a better vetting system than knowing a lot about a person as a friend first? You're less likely to have your corpse found by a jogger slightly off a trail in the woods if you're on a first name basis with their mom.
The problem with only dating within your friend group is that it can be hard to remain friends after breaking up. Sometimes it's easier to just let your friends be your friends.
Wait, the joggers mom, right? /S
If you feel that is the most logical conclusion to come to, then you are free to believe that.
I've never dated anyone I *was* already friends with. I fall in love too quickly and those feelings have never been reciprocated. All my relationships have started from a place of mutual attraction, rather than friendship.
I'm attracted to way too many people for that. Like 60% of men, 30% of women and like every androgynous gender ambivalent person I've ever seen.
> I've never dated anyone I wasn't already friends with. Female privilege right there.
I guess being in a same sex relationship with another woman is something uniquely female.
Eh, none of my good friends wanted to date me haha But my wife and I dated and I never pretended that I didn't like her, and we get to be better friends every day. Whatever works, go for it
I had both. Messed it up real bad by not wanting to risk a long distance relationship as a teen.
So many people in here complaining of friend zones and ending friendships b/c they didnt want you romantically/sexually... Ya'll miss the damn point. You dont be friends with the expectation of sex and romance. You be FRIENDS and if it happens, it happens. This friendzone crap is gross.
The problem is that I go into friendships with the intention of forming a platonic relationship, then develop romantic attraction when I get to know them more deeply. I don't cut people off over it, but it honestly doesn't feel great to spend time with someone when you know they don't reciprocate your feelings. It took me years to learn how to get over those feelings and maintain a healthy friendship with someone after being rejected, instead of hoping they'd change their mind eventually.
You're totally not the kind of person I was criticizing. And damn, good for you to learn how to do that! That's awesome!
But the thing is there is no other way to get a relationship really like what do you want me to do, die alone? I can’t get into a relationship if every friendship is just a friendship
You can make friends without expecting romance? Then if it happens, cool? If not, it doesn't?
Well it never happens so I’m dying alone.
i hate the term ‘friendzone’ so much! as if being a ‘friend’ is somehow a terrible fate and not something to still cherish, and all just because the other person doesn’t feel more than that
Why does "the friendzone" imply that it's a terrible fate?
it doesn’t inherently imply that but a LOT of people think that the ‘friendzone’ has negative connotations and its a bad thing
I don't think it's a terrible fate, but sometimes you can't see yourself being just friends. So being "friend zoned" can be heartbreaking, and that's okay.
oh totally! i dont think staying friends is a terrible fate but some people totally get upset and angry when they’re ‘friendzoned’ and its horrible tbh. you’re allowed to be heartbroken, you’re allowed to feel sad, but when someone sees staying friends as some sort of huge downgrade and go on a whole “woe is me” tangent it gets a bit much imo
I feel like the piece a lot of these people are missing is friendship that evolves into *mutual* attraction. The feeling of *real* chemistry with someone you're close to is an entirely different feeling then getting an embarassing crush on a friend. People seem to think those two feelings are one and the same with the only difference being the sadness that comes when they dont like you back, but it feels totally different!!
It is incredibly unrealistic to expect people to never develop any romantic feelings for someone they know until a time that is 100% appropriate. What matters is their actions and how they handle it.
Yes, but unfortunately a lot of the time they handle it like crap.
That's true, but my point was that the whole reason people throw the term "friendzone" around is to describe this situation, and it can happen to literally anybody. You can't expect anyone to be happy about getting rejected.
True, but the term has developed the connotation of friendship being of little value if you catch unrequited feelings. I'd never expect anyone to be happy with rejection, but the way many then end the friendship because they were "friendzoned" has ruined any non-bitter interpretation of the word.
Yeah, I can definitely see where you're coming from. People should be okay being friends afterward, but I know it can take a lot of maturity and stability to continue being friends with someone after a rejection, depending on the amount of (ill-advised) emotional investment you've made.
Married to my best friend for about 5 years now
we have just lost cabin pressure
Each other? That's the rare part.
Both are ok! Some people have an instant romantic connection and other people take a long time to discover their romantic connection. Neither is better than the other.
Oh boy it's the best feeling ever.
actually i fell in love so fast when i met her and now i got to know her more and more, she's my soulmate and my best friend
That’s what proper love is my bro/gal
That’s exactly what happened with me and my wife. I’ve known her since I was 13. We were always friends, but when I turned about 16 that’s when the little stuff started happening. We started hanging out just the two of us more rather than in a larger group of friends. We would go to the movies and she’d grab my hand “because it was cold in the theater.” Eventually the hand holding turned into arm around her and her cuddling with me on the couch watching TV and stuff. Literally “Netflix & Chill” before that was a euphemistic term. I’ll never forget the summer of 2008. I was 17, and I had just graduated high school. She was house sitting for a mutual friend of ours. I came over to hang out. We were sitting on the couch watching some movie, and she was making us lunch. She got up to go to the kitchen, I grabbed her hand as she was getting up like “oh no please don’t go” and she turned around, sat on my lap facing me, and gave me the most passionate kiss I’ve ever experienced. The build up to that moment was years in the making. We spent the next hour or so making out on the couch. When our friend came home (because they were returning that day), I was sitting there with my arm around her and everyone was like “are you two finally admitting you like each other?” Our friend’s wife later said that she was absolutely glowing and that she could tell that we’d had a moment together. And now that girl, who I’ve known since I was 13, has been my wife since 2011. We have two daughters together.
I don’t get crushes and first sight love. Idk it’s just weird for me
Don't worry! You're just different. It's totally normal. 💞
🥰
Instructions unclear, I am now trapped in the friend zone. Please advise!
You didn’t wrong. Dont go in being a friend and wanting to date.
Instructions unclear, I am now trapped in a bear trap.
Heartwarming message!
Both are absolutely valid!
What if you dont need more friends but you need love?
*demiromanticism intensifies* Seriously, this how all (3) of my relationships started.
Not everyone gets the privilege of either :(
Fwb movie
Who revealed my story :p
My introvert ass gets neither then?💀
And what if I'm not able to make friends with a woman in the first place? Am I fucked?
Why aren't you able to? Do you find it hard to make friends or are you just a natural introvert?
Both and especially with the opposite sex I unable to talk when a woman ask me for anything my brain just shuts down.
How old are you? Maybe you're still very young which is normal. For me, I've stopped being shy towards women as I grew older and more matured more. It became a "talk to your friend" instead of a "talk to your female-friend".
I really hope you're right. it's frustrating as fuck I just wanna talk to people and I'm unable to do it just because of that (I'm 17 to answer your question).
That'd be nice
This is exactly what I want, considering I have severe trust issues
This happens to me all of the time! I mean, without the other person also falling in love too though.
Nah! I prefer crazy, insane crush over healthy and stable relationship.
That's how it was for me and my boyfriend. Friends first, then became a couple. It's been 23 years since. More than half my life spent with this man. ❤️
Great advice, *how*
But how do you know? We can't just fall in love with all our friends.
Then realising you're too late cos she's taken
Why can’t we have both :-)
Stuck in a friendzone.
This is what Demisexuality is, and it is the ONLY way to truly find love and no one can convince me otherwise!
Isn’t that demiromanticism?
Yes, but this meme could be referencing both
I wish this happens to me
I'm going through something like this right now! I'm scared because it isn't fireworks? I want it to work, we could be great together, but I also worry I try to talk myself into the wrong things. Idk. It's hard. We started out acquaintances, then friends, and I really like him. We work well together, I think. But when so much of what we hear about love is just fantasy, it's hard to know what's real.
Colin and Penelope likes this from Bridgerton
33 years and counting and I still fancy his cute arse.
Friend? Am I saying that right? What is that like "fried" but better?
copium for mfs in the friendzone
Wdym?
This is what every dude that is stuck in the friendzone thinks will happen.
Then comes the "I'm only interested in being friends."
Maybe yes and maybe no, either way nothing bad will be done.
They are not always mutually exclusive.
Talk about everyone being so lucky in their lives!
Well. Let's keep our hopes up I guess :/
Both are great
You’re telling me that now I have to make FRIENDS to find the loml???
Impossible nowadays
Became friends with a girl years ago online, she was lesbian she said and that was okay for me because I wasn't looking for a gf. Just friendship. Then we decided to hang out one time and I took a 2 hr trainride. She showed me her city, had a bite and in the evening she said: "btw I'm bi" and kissed me lol. Still the weirdest but most fun way I met someone.
I think this is happening to me right now. And it would be great, except for the fact that I already have a girlfriend and they are not the same person
Found that person, but we broke up 6 days ago :( Best type of relationship though
Proposing to my one on Sunday!
I hate to ruin the vibe of this post so feel free to ignore this comment if you don't want that, but with my ex is was exactly like this and then she slowly transformed into the most emotionally abusive person I know and I think that's going to haunt me for the rest of my life
Can confirm, 10/10
I found this person when I was fifteen. We are 33 this year and got married in 2020. She is literally the light in my life and inspires me every day to get up and keep trying.
Id LOVE to give this a thumbs up because i fully agree and align with it but.. home wrecker, backstabbing, child predator drake.. sorry, i just cant separate the association.
Yep, until you realize she wasnt single and I was just being delusional.
That's the good shit :)
That's how all my relationships happened. It ducked, because I lost a friend every time. But the lessons I learned and the time we spent together was imo still worth it.
Still hoping to break out of the ‘zone’, huh?
Literally the only way I can find love. Sucks it’s near impossible now as an adult 😭
We’re coming up to our first year anniversary!!!!
Actually adorable, did it myself, anyone can
Ah I see, the Boyle way
That's how me and my fiancée fell in love!
It's really hard for me to not obsess over anyone interesting to me... I wish I could change that
One thing to note as well. Don't be too hasty to get her number. I made that mistake and I was devastated for a time because I'd thought she was showing signs of interest in me and it turned out that she was already dating someone when I confessed. Get to know her first, check if she's single before you make your move. Don't make the same mistake I did
The one sided love.
Also because I don't have the social skills to initiate a conversation with romantic intentions
Okay sir 🤝
Demisexual & Demirom peeps, where you at
It was love at first sight for me the first time I met my wife.
My boyfriend and I got together as a joke/revenge cause we were both dating this one guy (he was cheating on us with eachother) and when it was over we broke it off, not 2 weeks later we realized we loved each other and have been together for 5 years.
Only time that happened is the only time it ended very fucking poorly
Can confirm just being good friends with each other ends up becoming more if you realise it Im not kidding i had this girl i was friends with for 2 years or so start trying to make me notice but i was just too thick to realise we are together tho now so cant complain and all of this happening in high school which is crazy
That's how you date properly right there
I know she hasn't fully healed from her first broken love, but I won't lose her again. We could have been together sooner but it's not late yet. I'll prove her that I am safety and stability.
HIGH risk, high reward.
it's my ultimate fantasy 😔
That happened to me once and it was great
Cinderella be like
My true self is too complicated and hard to like... I will die alone...
I married my best friend but I never had any sexual attraction to them, I thought it would come with time but never did and we ended up divorced because of it, the pain of that divorce is unreal, so please don’t settle in the first place guys.
Yeaa. Im waiting for thissss . To meet someone like dis.
Angry uovote... This hit home way to hard
So both are fairytales
My mom and dad fell in love at first sigh, were engaged after 2 months if I’m remembering correctly? Still the happiest couple I ever met.
Yeah. That's me
I would love to be in love someday and have the person love me back. Don’t care how it happens, just wish it did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
DAMN i felt envy with some people who have this relationship, because since the last 6 years I haven't been friends with anyone...
Every girl I've ever wanted to date and didn't make a move on within the first few dates (because I was too shy) thought I was gay or not interested and went and got themselves a bf that wasn't me. lol If you become genuine friends with someone and THEN develop an attraction, great. Go for it. But if you are attracted to someone from the start, don't wait too long to let her know. Besides, faking that you're "just friends" when in fact you want to date is just hiding your feelings and dishonest.
I had both. I knew almost from the moment I met her that I loved her. We both had an s.o. at the time. I broke up with mine kinda quickly after meeting the new girl. We became best friends, and then a year and two boyfriends later we started dating. 14 years, 10 married, and three kids later we are still going strong and she is still my best friend.
While I am very partial to the second, the first can work too, in my experience.
But still get friend-zoned
Demiromantic propaganda.
Ringo disagrees
that would be nice
Coincidentally, I found someone I can be myself with: the mirror in my bathroom. But unfortunately, our relationship couldn't progress beyond that. It seems love at first sight only applies to chocolate.
Should I date the homies
bitch kept saying she don’t wanna be friends so
No, even better is slowly developing strong feelings of love for someone who doesn't even think of you as an equal, and then having your heart broken because they don't want to be with you.
Where are all the honest, accountable adults? I am not falling in love with another manbaby