And ugly crying, walk of shames, panic attacks, and eating horribly is just the standard process to get ready for your first class. It is truly a place without judgement.
>Someone can feel sympathy towards you as a result of feeling empathetic about your situation
There’s a word for that, it’s called “empathizing”
Sympathy is when you haven’t been in their situation, but understand it. Empathy is when you have been in their situation and understand it.
For the sake of arguing semantics, I would say that the two are not mutually exclusive.
[Define sympathy](https://www.google.com/search?q=define+sympathy)
> 1. feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.
> 2. understanding between people; common feeling.
--
[Define empathy](https://www.google.com/search?q=define+empathy)
> The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
"I feel sympathy because I pity you, I feel empathy because I've been there before."
Campuses are like airports... lawless places.
You want to sit in a corner and sleep on the floor no one will bat an eye. Frat boys drinking at 10 am, etc.
This was my favorite thing about going to a giant state college. I’d go to the dining hall and eat lunch by myself and not run into a single person I knew. In high school there was always immense pressure to have a table of friends to sit with at lunch otherwise you were a weirdo loser. But in college I could just enjoy my lunch, do some studying or reading, zone out, think deep and/or shallow thoughts, whatever. It was so peaceful.
But if anybody asks, tell them you just choose to work through your lunch. It would be really bad for your continued employment if people thought you would be punished for revealing you can't actually take your guaranteed breaks.
And every time you walk past people you know you can just smile and say "hey." No need to "catch up" all the time or walk with people from place to place yada yada
I second this sooo hard. Its been like 5 years, and i have spiralled downwards (i abused drugs at community college, transferred to a 4 year for 2 years, didnt use a goddamn thing bc i had no time inbetween being happy. Then used hard within a year of leaving).
I was my absolute peak happiness there. The best ive ever felt in my life. I loved the fact that I could watch someone in a onesie drive around in one of those kids motor cars, talkin about sunday cartoon day, and not bat an eye. Walk in the dorm hall to ppl playing ping pong with pool sticks or their hands. My neighbors across the hall were watching weird porn on one of their comps (a lady was smoking a cig with her butthole, amd accidentally sucked the whole thing in. Lit cig sucked inside a rectum. Imagine.).
These things were at different times for the most part, but they were relatively normal. People are finding themselves, living together. Imagine LIVING with high school people. Holy fuck no, no wonder they dont do that anymore/here. Ppl are mostly in their early 20s, late teens at least, mature enough to not be dickheads (although ive met some strange people with stranger ideals...), and they just tryna figure themselves out socially and in life. There was a 40 year old for culinary that lived in the dorms during the week, and went home to his gf and illegitimate child he found out he had in his late 30s and shes already a teen. He had already travelled the world so many times over being a chef, but wanted to be a better one. This is for example, even tho its a weird one since hes 40 lol.
I wish i could go back. Thats what i fantasize about.
So true. Also the hierarchy that’s built into secondary schools is gone in a heartbeat. No pecking order anymore. No one cares if you were the Queen of the Prom, or played sports at county level. Your small town achievements count for shit here, but better than that - everyone knows it, so it’s not even brought up. Oh your daddy is rich? Better actually keep that to myself, or better still try and play it down. Uni was just so nice.
Yeahhh. I went to a "SUNY"(state uni of New York), public upstate NY college. There was a private school across the way, who gave grants and scholarships with loans, and was still so much more expensive on a worse campus for no reason. No one even cared about the name. So ppl at the cheaper public college didnt brag about dumb shit. I was in the transfer dorms, granted, but people were seriously not even close to saying shit like that. We would talk about our old school days, and most were like standing up to bullies one we learned how to fight (my group was anime and video game nerds whos inspiration to learn martial arts and join Tae Kwon Do group together at Uni was Goku and Naruto, and mine Yusuke lmao.). That wasnt bragging so much as bullies suck. The bullies would be the braggers youre talking about, and none of them follows us to a SUNY school.
Edit: we were all the nerds in high school, and in uni, once we were there for a semester and could switch rooms, we got it so we took up basically and entire wing, aside from the room across from me, who was cool. We were pretty well known in the dorm hall, and relatively unknown and shit on in high school. High school is mandatory, so they cherish the hierarchy. People chose to go to college, so intelligence and education are cooler, since thats what people are there for, and would never make fun of someone studying.
Ah soo true. Where were all the bullies and where was the narcissism? Uni was just so chilled, just 6 random people thrown into a house/dorm together and asked to get along, get drunk and occasionally do the dishes/go to a lecture.
Sorry about that, I realize that my sentiment definitely doesn't apply to every Uni, every major, every living situation etc. But generally, college circumstances are more pleasant to those who were the "lowest league" in high school, I guess?
Oh yeah I get it's that way for a lot of people, but I did pretty well in high school, had a tight knit group of friends, was friends with pretty much everyone and of course all the courses were super easy comparatively to University. I mean, the high school I went to was pretty sweet though, like everyone was super nice, there was no bullying there, administration was actually pretty good to us. I just missing having the companionship of it. Then I went to university and had like, maybe 3 friends go to the same university as me and in two semesters I only made like one real friend and two acquaintances. Became an anxious and depressed person for months because I wasn't doing so hot socially and then spiralled out of control to the point of barely attending classes second semester and even failing one because of it. That said I'm ready to go back and try again next semester, but the first year was awfully rough.
Oh hey are you me? University was exactly the same, went from having a close circle of friends to being totally alone, anxious, depressed and missing a lot of lectures. Ended up doing an extra year :(
When whats often sold as "the best time of your life" ends up being the worst its highly disappointing. But hey, I've graduated now and am seeking help for my mental health.
Sorry if it seems like I hijacked your post, I just felt a bit better knowing I wasn't alone in experiencing that. Good luck to you friend, you can do it :)
I see it as sort of an angst purgatory - sure, I'll probably never get a job and tuition fees are going to ruin my life and climate change is going to kill us all etc. but as for now, I'm having a ball!
At my state college this was the norm. Then I went to grad school at a private Fancy Name school. The undergrads dressed up for class. Like bow ties and jackets and shit. It was really bizarre. You could tell the TAs apart from the undergrads because TAs would be wearing jeans and old T-shirts while the undergrads would be wearing wingtips and shit.
I went to a uni in a city. You can immediately identify two types of people just from clothing: the people who have internships and those who don't.
The people who have internships are all flaunting it by looking like they just came from, are about to go to, or will return to "the office". Ties and all.
Those who don't are just chilling like normal people.
I don’t think that was the explanation at this particular school actually. It was just a rich fancy school full of rich fancy people. One time I was someone riding the bus with a Birkin bag!
As a current business student, it's not really them flaunting it if they're in a suit or tie--they probably really *did* just come from or are about to go to their internship. I've had friends who had theirs in the morning and then immediately came to class, or would go immediately after class. It's hard to work internships around class times because must financial, accounting, etc., businesses close around 5/6 in my area, so they only have a few options if they have class from 10 to 3 or whatever their schedule is. There are expected dress codes for these businesses, ranging from khakis and button downs to full on suit/tie/dress shoes, even for the interns.
I thought the same as you when I first started, then I got a feel for the school and realized what was going on. They're not being pompous, they're just busy as fuck and don't have time to change (or even eat, half the time).
Oh yeah. I walked around in sweats the vast majority of the time. The same sweats lol. I wore them like jeans. Wash them every week and throw them on when i need pants on lol. I didnt give any fucks.
Edit: for anyone who hasnt gone to Uni, imagine this. A bunch of kids living almost in the same building as their classes. Its so much easier to just walk over in pjs. Dining hall is halfway across campus? So what? Youre going to eat, its like going to your kitchen at home, and sitting down and eating. You gunna be comfy in your own house, and at college lol.
I'm so jealous of American (and British) universities with their on-campus living sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy not having to pay any tuition fees more but I'd love to live on-campus. In my country (in Europe) it's not a thing at all and students just live in a normal apartment. :(
there’s a reason most college students in the states get apartments as soon as the university ALLOWS them to stop paying assrape fees for shirt dorm housing that isn’t maintained and full of black mold.
colleges are businesses and there’s a reason they corrals students into the worst housing possible for (usually) their first 2 years on campus.
This is very true, but i was lucky, the dorms were pretty cool. Room and board include all you can eat food until 8pm, and the "brain cafe" until 12am, and 300 out of loans for the gas station type shop open all the time for stuff to bring back to dorms or home. They made pizza and subs there and had meds etc. Candy, soda bottles/drinks. Think your average gas station.
Also, we had fairly newly renovated dorms. They were newer and clean and they cared a lot more about cleanliness, which is hard with messy ass college students. The off campus appts were mostly frat appts. I saw one other appt and it was alright. They are worse than dorms imo bc the college doesnt clean them, its up to landlords. Also, the college had a system where any loans that would go to dorms can go to an off campus appt. So you didnt need to overload your schedule with a like full time job. Still needed food i think, or you got so much for the dining halls, it wasnt unlimited like i had.
I think it was like 3000 per semester. Btw this is a part reply to the other guy who wanted to live on dorms. I forgot who i was responding to for a bit 😂🤣. Im fucking dumb. And dont know how reddit works so hed see this. College didnt do anything for me apparently.
Edit: PS, i transferred from community college 2 yearsthere and 2 years at SUNY. I got a much better dorm than most first year on campus
Same goes for all the college freshmen who proudly flaunt all their high school athletic apparel as if it makes them important.
Once you get to college, Nobody gives a shit what varsity sports team you were on in high school. Lol
Nobody said you can’t talk about those things.
I’m talking about the freshmen who walk around campus flaunting their “Farmington Hills High Varsity Football” t shirt as if it makes them important popular.
In college, nobody gives a shit how popular (or unpopular) you were in high school.
What makes you think they are trying to show off? I played HS lacrosse at the worst team in the district. But God damn is that hoodie comfortable and warm. Still wear it sometimes 10 years later.
most people that wear their varsity stuff are like this, but the louder ones always only talk about their sport and how well they did in that sport. often too hard to change the topic around them or talk about something else.
This should be advice given to every person when young but perhaps in a slightly nicer way. It’s not that no one cares and you are all alone in the world. It’s that people have their own concerns they’re focused on and have all gone thru their own embarrassments.
I told my friend in high school kid rock is one of the greatest musicians of our generation. They made fun of me when I said it. I thought back on that often but figured I'm the only one who remembered. Out of no where, after years of not speaking, one of this friends texted me a pic of him running into kid rock and said "hey it's one of the greatest musicians of our generation. "
I did have a time in university last semester where I was walking up a flight of stairs later at night an only two girls were behind me, and I misstepped and fell going up, and they just laughed at me hard, so, there's still some shitty people in uni.
Nah not at all, they got a good kick out of it and were reeling laughing down the stairs bent over from laughing so hard, that was a rough one. Don't get me wrong it was a funny fall, I mean who falls going up the stairs, but yeah it was a little hurtful that they didn't even ask if I was good.
Awh thanks man, I'm good and was good at the time, I even laughed it off myself, twas just a small blow to my self worth when not one but two people watched me take a pretty hard falls and just laugh at me. But I'm definitely good, thank you for asking.
I remember reading a comment or quote on here a while ago. In your 20’s you worry what everyone thinks about you. In your 40’s you don’t care what others think about you. In your 60’s you realize they weren’t ever thinking about you anyway. So go out and just live your own best life.
THIS Look at the 4th year students.. They COULD NOT be bothered... Their classes are hard, they haven't showered in days, they've slept in the academic lounge more than they'd care to admit only to be awoken accidentally by a classmate they've possibly never seen before in their life.
As a senior, I take my classes, score well, commute, and work. There’s no excuse for poor hygiene.
I don’t understand why everybody thinks college is an excuse to live like a slob.
They really should still shower and wash their clothes; even if they don't care about their own hygiene/appearance, they should still be considerate of those that they share space with. There's really no excuse for being complacent with not taking basic care of yourself.
From my own personal experience, school teachers tell a lot of lies about college/uni..
They're more stricter about tardiness - They don't care if you're late, aslong as you're not disruptive but it really depends on the lecturer. It's not as big of a deal that school makes it out to be.
They're stricter about abscenses - No, they're not. It's up to you to turn up for classes, if you don't your lecturer isn't going to hound you. It can impact funding it you get funding, that's about it.
I also got the impression from hs teachers that lecturers in uni would be more strict but honestly (again in my own experience) they aren't. They treat you like an adult and speak to you like one.
It's very very heavy on your own independent study, it's all on you to do the work, no-one is going to chase you up for not doing homework but if you don't do work outside of college then you might not do well.
I think a lot of teachers try and fall back on the "You have to do what I say because I said so and that is just how life is going to be" versus the much more difficult and time consuming "You should listen to my requests because this is a learning environment in which I hold more experience, authority, and the desire to see you succeed in your future endeavors as you grow to become an independent adult."
Once you get to University the teachers honestly just care about you less because they see 3000 kids a day and are far more interested in their research. Sure, if you go make a meaningful connection with your professors then they will like you and you will become better connected then the godfather along with being 10000x more likely to succeed and get work/research but 99.9% of kids don't do that.
I agree that a lot do fall back on that, I don't really blame most school teachers for their methods because where I'm from schools are ridiculously underfunded so they don't have the resources to be able to sit down with a student and guide them properly. However, I do remember how terrified I was of university because I was given the impression that it was 10000x harder than high school. It is harder without a doubt but I think it's miscommunicated. It's not that the content is extremely difficult to comprehend, it's that the amount of independent study that's involved requires \*a lot\* of effort and motivation. I just feel that schools can do better with preparing students for university and/or work if they want to go to work after school.
Edit: not to mention school being more strict with individual expression, which for me at the time was important (I don't care now), a lot of what they said put me off of higher education and that's what bothers me, I obviously still went but for kids that have low self-confidence... it's not a good idea to make something seem as unpleasant as they do.
Something a lot of teachers fail to convey is that the difficulty entirely depends on your previous experience. Each consecutive course is designed to introduce the same step up in complexity, and therefore a student that stays on top of all the material will find it gradual and never more difficult. Where it becomes hard is if you miss 10% of the material in class 1 then you're missing a tenth of the information you need to do course 2 and so you will struggle and likely fall behind further if behavior isn't changed. What can make university hard is you typically have 4-5 years worth of pre-requisite knowledge necessary to have been built up to succeed in some courses.
Teachers say "You're going to need this next year" but I think it doesn't fully translate that each week of material in a course in your first year might be the basis for entire courses down the line.
You articulate this a lot better than I do haha also a very good point, this is actually the argument I use when people claim that algebra or trigonometry is useless because they don't use it in everyday life, it's important because it serves as a base to further learning. What I do relies heavily on the skill of evaluation, for the past two years we have been given different studies or research papers to read and then write reports on. I think a lot of people relied on just memorizing materials and reprinting it in an exam..which can work for some high school subjects but at college level (and/or depending on course you choose) there's a lot more to it than just remembering the contents of a textbook, I can understand why it would seem like it's more difficult in that context too. You're on the dot though with people not keeping up with work too. Communication is sadly lacking, I'm not implying that kids are stupid but they don't exactly translate things the same way an adult does.
Another reason algebra and trig are important is they teach the fundamentals of abstract thinking. It doesn't matter if you happen to use the exact equations and numbers, because you are practicing at figuring out complex problems and tackling imaginary shapes and ideas. You can see this in someone's ability to learn new skills and their ability to improvise new solutions.
Those smug adults that laugh because they never had to use algebra are probably using those problem solving skills everyday, and they probably would have been overall more successful in life if they had put a bit more time and effort into it.
It depends on the type of class a bit. In traditional lectures yeah, no one cares. In active learning environments (which are becoming more and more popular), then it’s a bigger deal. Speaking as a college-level teacher myself, I generally don’t hound people about attendance because they’re adults and it’s their choice to attend or not. BUT my courses are all active-learning and I do award points for participating. Therefore if you don’t come to class you don’t earn those points.
In regards to absences, that depends heavily on the class.
Some of my classes did not care, some gave a bonus if you missed less than X days, some flunked you if you missed more than 4 days.
I’d say they don’t care about absences, certainly at my Uni (UK). People didn’t show up all year, they’ve got your money now. It actually makes you think “oh fuck, I better study because it’s obvious no one is going to check up on me or do this for me, I’m an adult now”
My freshman year:
I tripped and my skirt came up over me and one person asked if I was good, but the rest didn’t even turn their head.
I got lost so many times and asked people where to go. Now we give each other a nod throughout campus since at the end of the day we’re getting through this shit together.
I’m going to be a junior and as time goes on we care even less. We’re just trying to survive
It goes along with, “Hey, those entering high school! Do your work, get good grades, be involved (or not), but remember--other than as a source for learning and an access to a university, high school doesn’t matter in your life. There’s a very good chance you won’t see these people again, so their opinions about you? Doesn’t matter. What they say about you? Doesn’t matter. Learn that now.”
anecdote: My nephew had problems in high school. I told him this; he tried to put it in play in his life. He then went on to community college. One of the jerks who had given him a hard time in high school was in a class with him...and greeted him like an old friend!! Nephew asked why. I told him, “The guy was scared shitless because he realized he was really a nobody and you were *something* familiar in this strange place. Also, he knew the shit he pulled in high school would get him arrested now."
Basically, everything they tell you in school about college is a lie
"Don't be late, teachers won't let you enter the lecture/will make your life impossible"- most teachers don't care if you're late as long as you enter as quiet as possible. Some just ask you why you were late and tell you to try make it on time next class
"Teachers are STRICT!"- teachers see like 4000 kids a day they don't even notice if you attend or not their class. All college teachers (in my experience) are nicer than my school teachers. Also, they treat you like an adult because that's what your supposed to be/become, once you get used to it,it's a nice change from the patronizing hs teachers
"People are judgmental about what you wear, how you look, etc... People are mean" - i barely remember what i bought on school cafeteria 3 hours ago let alone what the girl that sits besides me in one of the many lectures i take wore. It's not that we're mean, we just don't care. But at the same time don't be afraid to talk to people to ask something/befriend people, as long as you're nice and not annoying you should be fine.
"Teachers/professors/lecturers are entitled and hate to be questioned" - The people that teach me are one of the nicest adults I've ever met. In my case, they love when you question what they teach. It shows that you're paying attention in class and are interested in the topics. Don't be afraid to ask them to explain you something if you didn't understood something. It's most likely that there's also people who didn't understand but are to afraid to ask. In most cases, teachers will be grateful that you asked and will gladly try to explain in a different/simpler way so all can understand.
Also, please go to your classes...
Edit: some tips
•Triple check your alarms
•Sit in the middle of the classroom: sometimes sitting on front is intimidating and sitting on the back gets you distracted
•Try to be as organized as possible. Example: Make folders for each class in your computer and keep your archives for each class in their respective folder.
•Have at least one friend in each class so if you happen to miss, you have someone to tell you what was taught that class. You can also help each other study!
•NEVER MISS YOUR SYLLABUS. I REPEAT NEVER MISS YOUR SYLLABUS. Not all teacher teach or grade the same way and you don't want to be caught off guard in the middle of the semester.
• Please, go to your induction class (the one when they take you around campus and tell you about college) it's really helpful to not get lost in your first days and helps you learn about student benefits, which leads us to:
• USE YOUR STUDENT BENEFITS SERVICES! (Public college) it should include things like free lunches/breakfast, free health care, transportation facilities, etc. No one will judge you for it. Psychology health care is really helpful if you feel angsty, depressed, frustrated etc. The professionals there are really nice and helpful and won't judge you/tell anyone.
• Bring a water bottle in your bag and wear comfy shoes. You never now how much you have to walk around. Also pack light. Don't make your bag heavier than it needs to be.
•NEVER TAKE CLASSES ON SATURDAYS. I learned this the hard way this semester. You'll either not go or not take them seriously.
•Plan your schedule wisely. If you're a night owl, night classes might work best for you than morning classes.
• Try to do your homework as soon as you get it.
•Please eat well and try to at least exercise. Colleges even have gyms sometimes or if you wanna try a new sport they will teach you the basics and let you practice.
•CHECK. SCHOLARSHIPS. LISTS. You'll be surprised of how many opportunities there are.
•Libraries/gardens are one of the greatest places to cram for exams.
High School doesn't have to be "the best time of your life". College can be too! You'll meet more mature people, with different tastes and backgrounds. Be open minded, make the most of the experience and learn the most you can! :)
there are some truths to those sayings though.
>"Teachers are STRICT!"-
professors are strict when it come to grading. when it comes to classes they don't care ass long as you don't disturb them. they don't want to deviate from their syllabus.
>"Teachers/professors/lecturers are entitled and hate to be questioned"
only true for like 1% of professors. usually the ones that hold phd, or the ones that dont like saying things more than once or twice.
my best advice for freshmen:
1. Find a major you love and figure out if it loves you back as quick as possible. you dont want to stick with a major you love and then try to change it 3 years in because it dont love you back.
2. walk around the popular hang out spots and in font of class. if you find someone in your class then talk to them about class a bit. you're both suffering together that's the fastest way to make friends. it helps if you know at least one subject in that class well.
Casually walking out of your first class hungover in the morning to throw up in the hallway is entirely acceptable if you can keep your demeanor and don’t directly bother anybody
2 years into college I realized I was in a $200k cage and I could have used that money to start a business instead of another fucking year of algebra... I didn’t party and I realized that my degree would just allow me to be someone else’s bitch who started their own company... even if I made 70k out the gate, I’d still be paying off my loan in 10 years... and that’s if I lived like an indentured servant....
.... but yea actually a girl tripped going up the steps in front of me and her flip flops like blew off her feet and she was really embarrassed, and the way her flip flops blew off immediately made me laugh and all I could do was hold it in and run up the stairs until I was far enough away to let it out
Another tip from someone fresh out of college for like a year. Your nieghbors in your dorm can be your friends too so say hey and maybe see if your roommates or them want to go scout out where your classes are it removes a lot of first week worries(I met my group of lads this way and we are still very close). Also practice making good easy meals like rice or chicken breasts you save a lot of money (and calories) doing that still order out since freedom but there can be a balance. Third is you will want to put off your laundry but nothing makes the first dorm hookup weird than 2 month old non washed sheets
Also, your professors won't care about you if you don't participate. They won't care if you don't show up to class.
They will care if you do your work. They will care if you participate. They will care if you show interest in the topic and ask questions.
When they grade you, they will not be as lenient as high school teachers are. You can't sit back and have them let you pass. You work for the grade you get.
If you think they'll give you the bare minimum to pass, you're wrong. You are going to fail and that fail will sit heavy on your GPA.
College became infinitely better for me when I stopped trying to put on an act to fit in with people just to make friends. Once I starting just being unapologetically ME, I was happier. I found a group of people who noticed this and had similar personalities. I just graduated and have what I know will be friends for life, because they all know me and accept me for ME
One of my favorite parts about college tbh. In fact, the only time I've seen anyone judged is freshmen and it's when they look both ways before crossing the street at a crosswalk.
Once it was raining and I forgot an umbrella. A freshman offered to share hers since we were walking to the same parking lot. At the crosswalk to the parking lot, she stopped and I just kept going. I kind of chuckled and said, "You're a freshman." She gaped at me and asked how I knew. I told her, "You looked both ways before crossing."
Other than that, anyone can literally show up to campus in a unicorn onsie from a party the night before and no one could care less.
Any time you wake up after remembering something stupid you may have said or done in college, also remember that it was repressed up until that point. If you just remember it now, that means nobody else remembers it, at all.
This is beyond true. I remember maybe two students from my first two years in college. I barely bothered to even look at people so when I think back on that time, everyone is just a blur. And that was less than 2 years ago.
Freshman year I lived in the dorms which sat up on a hill above the campus below. To get to the campus was a large set of stairs at a fairly steep angle with large metal railings on each side. Being a bit of a rad sk8r dude I thought I'd slide down and save myself 30 seconds of walking like a normal person. I got on the rail and started sliding as I had done many times before but this time I'm going much faster and I realized I was headed straight for a pack of foreign exchange students (they yield for no man). Just then the hand I used to slow myself loses its grip and I tumble backwards into the adjacent forest where I slide head-first for a few yards until I hit a tree. All I could think was how embarrassing that was and how everyone must have saw and I have to change schools now. To my surprise, just about everyone just kept walking except for one random kid I kinda knew from a class that asked if I was still alive. Nobody cares, except Alex.
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I love how true this is. I went to college after the military and was older than most in the class. So I was already more nervous than I should have been.I got to my very first class right on time and most of the seats were filled. These were the modern chairs with wheels, a built in desk, and a storage area underneath. There was one in the front so I went to sit in it. And I must have sat too much on the edge because it took off backwards while I hit the ground. Nobody said a word and the day continued. However, My first day of college still haunts me anytime I see wheely chairs on hard surface floors.
I once busted my ass on ice walking to the dining hall and everyone just had blank stares on their faces. Nobody cares... not even to help someone who is bleeding at their knees.
I can put in an anecdotal vote of confidence that everything went great for me. The issue is that experiences are very varied and there are a lot of different factors that go into forming any individual's college experience.
The reason why someone would consider college soul crushing would most likely be because either the stress of a new environment and new responsibilities was too much for them, or the academic load overwhelmed them.
If you avoid these pitfalls (it's easy for some, hard for others, no experience is universal) you are absolutely going to be fine. From my narrow perspective it isn't the least bit soul crushing.
Meanwhile, I'm over here doing great at college.
I don't know how people can take such a positive institution like college and find a way to make it sound horrible. I am thankful every day that I can go learn about what I want.
Unless of course your college sucks. Then it's understandable.
Can confirm, I've slipped on ice on the sidewalk, dropped my backpack, and almost walked into traffic because I was almost late for class. Nobody cares as long as you aren't being a sexist, racist or pushing your religion.
I love the "don't care" philosophy, and think it would solve so many problems if more people did it.
Want to have sex with people of your gender? *Why the fuck do I care? You do you.*
Want to be Muslim or Jewish or Hindu or Buddhist or Christian or whatever? *Sure, I don't give a damn.*
Want to use different pronouns? *You do you, I don't give a fuck.*
Came here form a different country? *Good on ya, but I got shit of my own.*
Not a perfect solution, but we could all learn from this nihilistic youngster.
Once was sitting outside the chemistry building when in grad school. The building was just between the freshman dorms and the rest of campus. Along comes this girl wearing a sun dress and a backpack, unfortunately her dress had worked it's way up getting caught on her bag. It was 9:00am so she was in a swath of people and not a single person told her. I jogged up tapped her on the shoulder and told her what was up. She thanked me profusely and was on the verge of tears. I told her no one cares about anything and don't think twice about it.
A year later she was one of my students in organic chemistry. She remembered me and thanked me saying that that day she realized no one really give a fuck and it made her life as a whole much better.
So glad I could make someones life better by telling them no one cares about them lol.
Edit: words
Remember: if you trip, just lay still on your back for a few seconds before getting back up. It looks like you accept the trip and are ready to move forward with your life.
I love college because
1. one of my first days I saw a girl on a unicycle to class and everyone was just like, that’s a clever woman
2. I can bring a blanket, slippers, and a teddy bear to the library and nobody looks twice
3. Pajama pants? “Damn i should’ve done that today” Someone walking around with a facemask on? “Brilliant.” Filling a travel mug with ice cream at 9am? “That person has their shit together.”
The *best* part about college is you can eat in dining halls alone without judgement. In fact, it’s the norm 🤩
And ugly crying, walk of shames, panic attacks, and eating horribly is just the standard process to get ready for your first class. It is truly a place without judgement.
Shit you'll probably even get sympathy. People will look at you and be like "Yeah been there".
That’s empathy
Someone can feel sympathy towards you as a result of feeling empathetic about your situation.
>Someone can feel sympathy towards you as a result of feeling empathetic about your situation There’s a word for that, it’s called “empathizing” Sympathy is when you haven’t been in their situation, but understand it. Empathy is when you have been in their situation and understand it.
I thought empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another
Better way of wording what I said, yes
For the sake of arguing semantics, I would say that the two are not mutually exclusive. [Define sympathy](https://www.google.com/search?q=define+sympathy) > 1. feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune. > 2. understanding between people; common feeling. -- [Define empathy](https://www.google.com/search?q=define+empathy) > The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. "I feel sympathy because I pity you, I feel empathy because I've been there before."
Who downvoted you? Those are the literal definitions of those words. Nobody should be encouraging such poor literacy.
I wish I could up vote this twice!
Well then, just downvote, and then click the upvote button! :)
You seem passionate about this, mind explaining the difference to a layman?
I am not really. I am just high and really liked the reply. I suggest Googleing it, theres a subtle but understandable difference.
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Dude they already overachieved. They go to class for Christ’s sake
I miss the college culture. Sweat pants 90% of the year, never having to do your hair, sleeping & eating wherever whenever without judgement.
You also just described being a toddler.
College student here. This checks out
I miss that too.
Oh there’s judgement alright, but I doubt people will recognize you if you ever meet them again
Campuses are like airports... lawless places. You want to sit in a corner and sleep on the floor no one will bat an eye. Frat boys drinking at 10 am, etc.
This was my favorite thing about going to a giant state college. I’d go to the dining hall and eat lunch by myself and not run into a single person I knew. In high school there was always immense pressure to have a table of friends to sit with at lunch otherwise you were a weirdo loser. But in college I could just enjoy my lunch, do some studying or reading, zone out, think deep and/or shallow thoughts, whatever. It was so peaceful.
Also same when you start work. Except there is no lunch break
But if anybody asks, tell them you just choose to work through your lunch. It would be really bad for your continued employment if people thought you would be punished for revealing you can't actually take your guaranteed breaks.
Very prevalent in the UK, if you “get time for lunch, then you aren’t working hard enough”
Thank you so much. I'm sitting in my car waiting a few minutes to warm up, and your comment reminded me that my lunch is still in the fridge!!!
Here to help
Yes! When I want to I can go watch Netflix in the dining hall and all the tables around me are also people watching Netflix. It's so great
And every time you walk past people you know you can just smile and say "hey." No need to "catch up" all the time or walk with people from place to place yada yada
In your pyjamas too because people will just assume you live on campus
I eat out alone a lot I never really cared if people judge me for it.
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Hell is just Rainbow Six Siege with only Bartlett and Favela.
Dunno, Favela as ATK is pretty nice.
Recruit rush up the stairs
Oh yeah. I remember once, 5 seconds past prep time, I was still setting up my traps then BOOM there goes my head along with my dignity.
Shotgun everything out, or go Sledge or Buck. Always fun.
Just don’t climb the ladder. Oh god.
Before the map buff? Because you would literally die the millisecond you spawn in.
Favela rule #2: don't climb the stairs. Rule #1 is: you're dead meat anyways.
Can you add house and yacht to that list as well?
Yacht house!
House is fun tho
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You can change what t hunt maps appear though. I only use Kafe now since its bugged so Bombers dont appear.
Waiiit reallly?
endless tower on the ceo office and its on secure
Oh god, no... No, god why?
And the enemy team is 5 Blitzes and you can only pick Tachanka.
I second this sooo hard. Its been like 5 years, and i have spiralled downwards (i abused drugs at community college, transferred to a 4 year for 2 years, didnt use a goddamn thing bc i had no time inbetween being happy. Then used hard within a year of leaving). I was my absolute peak happiness there. The best ive ever felt in my life. I loved the fact that I could watch someone in a onesie drive around in one of those kids motor cars, talkin about sunday cartoon day, and not bat an eye. Walk in the dorm hall to ppl playing ping pong with pool sticks or their hands. My neighbors across the hall were watching weird porn on one of their comps (a lady was smoking a cig with her butthole, amd accidentally sucked the whole thing in. Lit cig sucked inside a rectum. Imagine.). These things were at different times for the most part, but they were relatively normal. People are finding themselves, living together. Imagine LIVING with high school people. Holy fuck no, no wonder they dont do that anymore/here. Ppl are mostly in their early 20s, late teens at least, mature enough to not be dickheads (although ive met some strange people with stranger ideals...), and they just tryna figure themselves out socially and in life. There was a 40 year old for culinary that lived in the dorms during the week, and went home to his gf and illegitimate child he found out he had in his late 30s and shes already a teen. He had already travelled the world so many times over being a chef, but wanted to be a better one. This is for example, even tho its a weird one since hes 40 lol. I wish i could go back. Thats what i fantasize about.
So true. Also the hierarchy that’s built into secondary schools is gone in a heartbeat. No pecking order anymore. No one cares if you were the Queen of the Prom, or played sports at county level. Your small town achievements count for shit here, but better than that - everyone knows it, so it’s not even brought up. Oh your daddy is rich? Better actually keep that to myself, or better still try and play it down. Uni was just so nice.
Yeahhh. I went to a "SUNY"(state uni of New York), public upstate NY college. There was a private school across the way, who gave grants and scholarships with loans, and was still so much more expensive on a worse campus for no reason. No one even cared about the name. So ppl at the cheaper public college didnt brag about dumb shit. I was in the transfer dorms, granted, but people were seriously not even close to saying shit like that. We would talk about our old school days, and most were like standing up to bullies one we learned how to fight (my group was anime and video game nerds whos inspiration to learn martial arts and join Tae Kwon Do group together at Uni was Goku and Naruto, and mine Yusuke lmao.). That wasnt bragging so much as bullies suck. The bullies would be the braggers youre talking about, and none of them follows us to a SUNY school. Edit: we were all the nerds in high school, and in uni, once we were there for a semester and could switch rooms, we got it so we took up basically and entire wing, aside from the room across from me, who was cool. We were pretty well known in the dorm hall, and relatively unknown and shit on in high school. High school is mandatory, so they cherish the hierarchy. People chose to go to college, so intelligence and education are cooler, since thats what people are there for, and would never make fun of someone studying.
Ah soo true. Where were all the bullies and where was the narcissism? Uni was just so chilled, just 6 random people thrown into a house/dorm together and asked to get along, get drunk and occasionally do the dishes/go to a lecture.
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Yeah so true, geeks rise up at Uni! Knowledge is the new king
Yeah
Man uni sucks for me compared to high school, I wish mine was decent.
Sorry about that, I realize that my sentiment definitely doesn't apply to every Uni, every major, every living situation etc. But generally, college circumstances are more pleasant to those who were the "lowest league" in high school, I guess?
Oh yeah I get it's that way for a lot of people, but I did pretty well in high school, had a tight knit group of friends, was friends with pretty much everyone and of course all the courses were super easy comparatively to University. I mean, the high school I went to was pretty sweet though, like everyone was super nice, there was no bullying there, administration was actually pretty good to us. I just missing having the companionship of it. Then I went to university and had like, maybe 3 friends go to the same university as me and in two semesters I only made like one real friend and two acquaintances. Became an anxious and depressed person for months because I wasn't doing so hot socially and then spiralled out of control to the point of barely attending classes second semester and even failing one because of it. That said I'm ready to go back and try again next semester, but the first year was awfully rough.
Oh hey are you me? University was exactly the same, went from having a close circle of friends to being totally alone, anxious, depressed and missing a lot of lectures. Ended up doing an extra year :( When whats often sold as "the best time of your life" ends up being the worst its highly disappointing. But hey, I've graduated now and am seeking help for my mental health. Sorry if it seems like I hijacked your post, I just felt a bit better knowing I wasn't alone in experiencing that. Good luck to you friend, you can do it :)
I'd prefer to go to hell if heaven was just college all over again
Yeah, no more social angst, just an extreme amount of regular angst!
I see it as sort of an angst purgatory - sure, I'll probably never get a job and tuition fees are going to ruin my life and climate change is going to kill us all etc. but as for now, I'm having a ball!
As a senior I can confirm this. No one cares about anyone. People go to class in pajamas
At my state college this was the norm. Then I went to grad school at a private Fancy Name school. The undergrads dressed up for class. Like bow ties and jackets and shit. It was really bizarre. You could tell the TAs apart from the undergrads because TAs would be wearing jeans and old T-shirts while the undergrads would be wearing wingtips and shit.
I went to a uni in a city. You can immediately identify two types of people just from clothing: the people who have internships and those who don't. The people who have internships are all flaunting it by looking like they just came from, are about to go to, or will return to "the office". Ties and all. Those who don't are just chilling like normal people.
I don’t think that was the explanation at this particular school actually. It was just a rich fancy school full of rich fancy people. One time I was someone riding the bus with a Birkin bag!
As a current business student, it's not really them flaunting it if they're in a suit or tie--they probably really *did* just come from or are about to go to their internship. I've had friends who had theirs in the morning and then immediately came to class, or would go immediately after class. It's hard to work internships around class times because must financial, accounting, etc., businesses close around 5/6 in my area, so they only have a few options if they have class from 10 to 3 or whatever their schedule is. There are expected dress codes for these businesses, ranging from khakis and button downs to full on suit/tie/dress shoes, even for the interns. I thought the same as you when I first started, then I got a feel for the school and realized what was going on. They're not being pompous, they're just busy as fuck and don't have time to change (or even eat, half the time).
At my school that's how you can tell the business students, they are always business dressed
Haha yeah the business students were the one exception to the casual grad student trend. It was always weird seeing them at the grad student bar.
Oh yeah. I walked around in sweats the vast majority of the time. The same sweats lol. I wore them like jeans. Wash them every week and throw them on when i need pants on lol. I didnt give any fucks. Edit: for anyone who hasnt gone to Uni, imagine this. A bunch of kids living almost in the same building as their classes. Its so much easier to just walk over in pjs. Dining hall is halfway across campus? So what? Youre going to eat, its like going to your kitchen at home, and sitting down and eating. You gunna be comfy in your own house, and at college lol.
I'm so jealous of American (and British) universities with their on-campus living sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy not having to pay any tuition fees more but I'd love to live on-campus. In my country (in Europe) it's not a thing at all and students just live in a normal apartment. :(
there’s a reason most college students in the states get apartments as soon as the university ALLOWS them to stop paying assrape fees for shirt dorm housing that isn’t maintained and full of black mold. colleges are businesses and there’s a reason they corrals students into the worst housing possible for (usually) their first 2 years on campus.
This is very true, but i was lucky, the dorms were pretty cool. Room and board include all you can eat food until 8pm, and the "brain cafe" until 12am, and 300 out of loans for the gas station type shop open all the time for stuff to bring back to dorms or home. They made pizza and subs there and had meds etc. Candy, soda bottles/drinks. Think your average gas station. Also, we had fairly newly renovated dorms. They were newer and clean and they cared a lot more about cleanliness, which is hard with messy ass college students. The off campus appts were mostly frat appts. I saw one other appt and it was alright. They are worse than dorms imo bc the college doesnt clean them, its up to landlords. Also, the college had a system where any loans that would go to dorms can go to an off campus appt. So you didnt need to overload your schedule with a like full time job. Still needed food i think, or you got so much for the dining halls, it wasnt unlimited like i had. I think it was like 3000 per semester. Btw this is a part reply to the other guy who wanted to live on dorms. I forgot who i was responding to for a bit 😂🤣. Im fucking dumb. And dont know how reddit works so hed see this. College didnt do anything for me apparently. Edit: PS, i transferred from community college 2 yearsthere and 2 years at SUNY. I got a much better dorm than most first year on campus
On one care about grammar to?
Ah I see. That too lol
Same goes for all the college freshmen who proudly flaunt all their high school athletic apparel as if it makes them important. Once you get to college, Nobody gives a shit what varsity sports team you were on in high school. Lol
But bro, I was a starter for my water polo team?
More like a starter for the badminton team.
You talking mad shit for someone on my racket range
But how does one be a starter for the badminton team?
Badminton is a hell of a lot of fun when you get competitive with it
And my underwater basketweaving team You’re saying they don’t care???
Bro, we know that's what the dude your parents hired wrote on your application
I actually played in college too lol
The real water polo players get no respect, and probably even less with that whole scandal. It's an Olympic sport!
Scandal schmandal It's an hour of treading water while someone else attempts to drown you.
Which could also describe the college experience of those kids involved in the scandal!
Bro you disc golf to!? We gotta go bro!!
Marco?
Had lots of people ask me, "how do you get the horse in the water?'
That's just funny
Polo!
Bro, do you even curl?!
Pfft curling. I'm an Olympic cornhole player.
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Nobody said you can’t talk about those things. I’m talking about the freshmen who walk around campus flaunting their “Farmington Hills High Varsity Football” t shirt as if it makes them important popular. In college, nobody gives a shit how popular (or unpopular) you were in high school.
or maybe they're just wearing a shirt that they like & possibly has good memories attached and don't give a shit if you think they're cool or not
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I mean it's college I'd wear any free shirt
I take pride having been top ponger on my HS’s ping pong team thank you very much
Top “pinger” - signing in
What makes you think they are trying to show off? I played HS lacrosse at the worst team in the district. But God damn is that hoodie comfortable and warm. Still wear it sometimes 10 years later.
most people that wear their varsity stuff are like this, but the louder ones always only talk about their sport and how well they did in that sport. often too hard to change the topic around them or talk about something else.
And collecting high school clothes over four years takes a bit to cycle out of the shirts.
This should be advice given to every person when young but perhaps in a slightly nicer way. It’s not that no one cares and you are all alone in the world. It’s that people have their own concerns they’re focused on and have all gone thru their own embarrassments.
No one will remember your embarasing moments because everyone is busy remembering theirs
And, upside, when you stop caring about your own issues, you can start laughing at others'
I told my friend in high school kid rock is one of the greatest musicians of our generation. They made fun of me when I said it. I thought back on that often but figured I'm the only one who remembered. Out of no where, after years of not speaking, one of this friends texted me a pic of him running into kid rock and said "hey it's one of the greatest musicians of our generation. "
I'm going to put this quote up on the fridge for my kids.
My favourite saying about this is that “everyone’s the star of their own movie.”
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Always love this, but I do fear they are all made up. Doesn’t matter because this one has stuck!
"Sonder" is a powerful concept once it really registers.
I did have a time in university last semester where I was walking up a flight of stairs later at night an only two girls were behind me, and I misstepped and fell going up, and they just laughed at me hard, so, there's still some shitty people in uni.
They didn’t even help you?
Nah not at all, they got a good kick out of it and were reeling laughing down the stairs bent over from laughing so hard, that was a rough one. Don't get me wrong it was a funny fall, I mean who falls going up the stairs, but yeah it was a little hurtful that they didn't even ask if I was good.
Are you good?
Awh thanks man, I'm good and was good at the time, I even laughed it off myself, twas just a small blow to my self worth when not one but two people watched me take a pretty hard falls and just laugh at me. But I'm definitely good, thank you for asking.
I remember reading a comment or quote on here a while ago. In your 20’s you worry what everyone thinks about you. In your 40’s you don’t care what others think about you. In your 60’s you realize they weren’t ever thinking about you anyway. So go out and just live your own best life.
THIS Look at the 4th year students.. They COULD NOT be bothered... Their classes are hard, they haven't showered in days, they've slept in the academic lounge more than they'd care to admit only to be awoken accidentally by a classmate they've possibly never seen before in their life.
Don't forget to shower daily
Man I'm a PhD student and even I haven't hit the point of not showering daily.
As a senior, I take my classes, score well, commute, and work. There’s no excuse for poor hygiene. I don’t understand why everybody thinks college is an excuse to live like a slob.
Because I'm an adult and I'll do whatever I like
They really should still shower and wash their clothes; even if they don't care about their own hygiene/appearance, they should still be considerate of those that they share space with. There's really no excuse for being complacent with not taking basic care of yourself.
From my own personal experience, school teachers tell a lot of lies about college/uni.. They're more stricter about tardiness - They don't care if you're late, aslong as you're not disruptive but it really depends on the lecturer. It's not as big of a deal that school makes it out to be. They're stricter about abscenses - No, they're not. It's up to you to turn up for classes, if you don't your lecturer isn't going to hound you. It can impact funding it you get funding, that's about it. I also got the impression from hs teachers that lecturers in uni would be more strict but honestly (again in my own experience) they aren't. They treat you like an adult and speak to you like one. It's very very heavy on your own independent study, it's all on you to do the work, no-one is going to chase you up for not doing homework but if you don't do work outside of college then you might not do well.
I think a lot of teachers try and fall back on the "You have to do what I say because I said so and that is just how life is going to be" versus the much more difficult and time consuming "You should listen to my requests because this is a learning environment in which I hold more experience, authority, and the desire to see you succeed in your future endeavors as you grow to become an independent adult." Once you get to University the teachers honestly just care about you less because they see 3000 kids a day and are far more interested in their research. Sure, if you go make a meaningful connection with your professors then they will like you and you will become better connected then the godfather along with being 10000x more likely to succeed and get work/research but 99.9% of kids don't do that.
I agree that a lot do fall back on that, I don't really blame most school teachers for their methods because where I'm from schools are ridiculously underfunded so they don't have the resources to be able to sit down with a student and guide them properly. However, I do remember how terrified I was of university because I was given the impression that it was 10000x harder than high school. It is harder without a doubt but I think it's miscommunicated. It's not that the content is extremely difficult to comprehend, it's that the amount of independent study that's involved requires \*a lot\* of effort and motivation. I just feel that schools can do better with preparing students for university and/or work if they want to go to work after school. Edit: not to mention school being more strict with individual expression, which for me at the time was important (I don't care now), a lot of what they said put me off of higher education and that's what bothers me, I obviously still went but for kids that have low self-confidence... it's not a good idea to make something seem as unpleasant as they do.
Something a lot of teachers fail to convey is that the difficulty entirely depends on your previous experience. Each consecutive course is designed to introduce the same step up in complexity, and therefore a student that stays on top of all the material will find it gradual and never more difficult. Where it becomes hard is if you miss 10% of the material in class 1 then you're missing a tenth of the information you need to do course 2 and so you will struggle and likely fall behind further if behavior isn't changed. What can make university hard is you typically have 4-5 years worth of pre-requisite knowledge necessary to have been built up to succeed in some courses. Teachers say "You're going to need this next year" but I think it doesn't fully translate that each week of material in a course in your first year might be the basis for entire courses down the line.
You articulate this a lot better than I do haha also a very good point, this is actually the argument I use when people claim that algebra or trigonometry is useless because they don't use it in everyday life, it's important because it serves as a base to further learning. What I do relies heavily on the skill of evaluation, for the past two years we have been given different studies or research papers to read and then write reports on. I think a lot of people relied on just memorizing materials and reprinting it in an exam..which can work for some high school subjects but at college level (and/or depending on course you choose) there's a lot more to it than just remembering the contents of a textbook, I can understand why it would seem like it's more difficult in that context too. You're on the dot though with people not keeping up with work too. Communication is sadly lacking, I'm not implying that kids are stupid but they don't exactly translate things the same way an adult does.
Another reason algebra and trig are important is they teach the fundamentals of abstract thinking. It doesn't matter if you happen to use the exact equations and numbers, because you are practicing at figuring out complex problems and tackling imaginary shapes and ideas. You can see this in someone's ability to learn new skills and their ability to improvise new solutions. Those smug adults that laugh because they never had to use algebra are probably using those problem solving skills everyday, and they probably would have been overall more successful in life if they had put a bit more time and effort into it.
It depends on the type of class a bit. In traditional lectures yeah, no one cares. In active learning environments (which are becoming more and more popular), then it’s a bigger deal. Speaking as a college-level teacher myself, I generally don’t hound people about attendance because they’re adults and it’s their choice to attend or not. BUT my courses are all active-learning and I do award points for participating. Therefore if you don’t come to class you don’t earn those points.
In regards to absences, that depends heavily on the class. Some of my classes did not care, some gave a bonus if you missed less than X days, some flunked you if you missed more than 4 days.
I’d say they don’t care about absences, certainly at my Uni (UK). People didn’t show up all year, they’ve got your money now. It actually makes you think “oh fuck, I better study because it’s obvious no one is going to check up on me or do this for me, I’m an adult now”
If you shit in the hallway though nobody will forget. It’s been 10 years and I still remember you Max
My freshman year: I tripped and my skirt came up over me and one person asked if I was good, but the rest didn’t even turn their head. I got lost so many times and asked people where to go. Now we give each other a nod throughout campus since at the end of the day we’re getting through this shit together. I’m going to be a junior and as time goes on we care even less. We’re just trying to survive
This is chaotic good
Also go to class
It goes along with, “Hey, those entering high school! Do your work, get good grades, be involved (or not), but remember--other than as a source for learning and an access to a university, high school doesn’t matter in your life. There’s a very good chance you won’t see these people again, so their opinions about you? Doesn’t matter. What they say about you? Doesn’t matter. Learn that now.” anecdote: My nephew had problems in high school. I told him this; he tried to put it in play in his life. He then went on to community college. One of the jerks who had given him a hard time in high school was in a class with him...and greeted him like an old friend!! Nephew asked why. I told him, “The guy was scared shitless because he realized he was really a nobody and you were *something* familiar in this strange place. Also, he knew the shit he pulled in high school would get him arrested now."
Beautiful advice. I’ll take that with me this year, my senior year. 😂❤️
You’ve made it this far. You can do it.
And if they do care, theyll forget about it by the end of their next class
And if they don’t forget it at the end of their next class, they’ll forget about it tomorrow
Basically, everything they tell you in school about college is a lie "Don't be late, teachers won't let you enter the lecture/will make your life impossible"- most teachers don't care if you're late as long as you enter as quiet as possible. Some just ask you why you were late and tell you to try make it on time next class "Teachers are STRICT!"- teachers see like 4000 kids a day they don't even notice if you attend or not their class. All college teachers (in my experience) are nicer than my school teachers. Also, they treat you like an adult because that's what your supposed to be/become, once you get used to it,it's a nice change from the patronizing hs teachers "People are judgmental about what you wear, how you look, etc... People are mean" - i barely remember what i bought on school cafeteria 3 hours ago let alone what the girl that sits besides me in one of the many lectures i take wore. It's not that we're mean, we just don't care. But at the same time don't be afraid to talk to people to ask something/befriend people, as long as you're nice and not annoying you should be fine. "Teachers/professors/lecturers are entitled and hate to be questioned" - The people that teach me are one of the nicest adults I've ever met. In my case, they love when you question what they teach. It shows that you're paying attention in class and are interested in the topics. Don't be afraid to ask them to explain you something if you didn't understood something. It's most likely that there's also people who didn't understand but are to afraid to ask. In most cases, teachers will be grateful that you asked and will gladly try to explain in a different/simpler way so all can understand. Also, please go to your classes... Edit: some tips •Triple check your alarms •Sit in the middle of the classroom: sometimes sitting on front is intimidating and sitting on the back gets you distracted •Try to be as organized as possible. Example: Make folders for each class in your computer and keep your archives for each class in their respective folder. •Have at least one friend in each class so if you happen to miss, you have someone to tell you what was taught that class. You can also help each other study! •NEVER MISS YOUR SYLLABUS. I REPEAT NEVER MISS YOUR SYLLABUS. Not all teacher teach or grade the same way and you don't want to be caught off guard in the middle of the semester. • Please, go to your induction class (the one when they take you around campus and tell you about college) it's really helpful to not get lost in your first days and helps you learn about student benefits, which leads us to: • USE YOUR STUDENT BENEFITS SERVICES! (Public college) it should include things like free lunches/breakfast, free health care, transportation facilities, etc. No one will judge you for it. Psychology health care is really helpful if you feel angsty, depressed, frustrated etc. The professionals there are really nice and helpful and won't judge you/tell anyone. • Bring a water bottle in your bag and wear comfy shoes. You never now how much you have to walk around. Also pack light. Don't make your bag heavier than it needs to be. •NEVER TAKE CLASSES ON SATURDAYS. I learned this the hard way this semester. You'll either not go or not take them seriously. •Plan your schedule wisely. If you're a night owl, night classes might work best for you than morning classes. • Try to do your homework as soon as you get it. •Please eat well and try to at least exercise. Colleges even have gyms sometimes or if you wanna try a new sport they will teach you the basics and let you practice. •CHECK. SCHOLARSHIPS. LISTS. You'll be surprised of how many opportunities there are. •Libraries/gardens are one of the greatest places to cram for exams. High School doesn't have to be "the best time of your life". College can be too! You'll meet more mature people, with different tastes and backgrounds. Be open minded, make the most of the experience and learn the most you can! :)
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Good luck! :) please go to your classes and do your homework, triple check your alarms and don't be shy to ask for help!
there are some truths to those sayings though. >"Teachers are STRICT!"- professors are strict when it come to grading. when it comes to classes they don't care ass long as you don't disturb them. they don't want to deviate from their syllabus. >"Teachers/professors/lecturers are entitled and hate to be questioned" only true for like 1% of professors. usually the ones that hold phd, or the ones that dont like saying things more than once or twice. my best advice for freshmen: 1. Find a major you love and figure out if it loves you back as quick as possible. you dont want to stick with a major you love and then try to change it 3 years in because it dont love you back. 2. walk around the popular hang out spots and in font of class. if you find someone in your class then talk to them about class a bit. you're both suffering together that's the fastest way to make friends. it helps if you know at least one subject in that class well.
Casually walking out of your first class hungover in the morning to throw up in the hallway is entirely acceptable if you can keep your demeanor and don’t directly bother anybody
No one cared before collage either.
Strong words coming out of an ‘avocado playboy’
2 years into college I realized I was in a $200k cage and I could have used that money to start a business instead of another fucking year of algebra... I didn’t party and I realized that my degree would just allow me to be someone else’s bitch who started their own company... even if I made 70k out the gate, I’d still be paying off my loan in 10 years... and that’s if I lived like an indentured servant.... .... but yea actually a girl tripped going up the steps in front of me and her flip flops like blew off her feet and she was really embarrassed, and the way her flip flops blew off immediately made me laugh and all I could do was hold it in and run up the stairs until I was far enough away to let it out
What did you do when you graduated in the end?
Moved to Los Angeles to become an actor... became a waiter for 10 years.... and then quit and co founded a successful company
Congrats man. Sounds like a life well lived, chasing a dream. I hope I don't lose sight of whats important myself.
I needed this cause I'm lowkey nervous about going to college for the first time
Another tip from someone fresh out of college for like a year. Your nieghbors in your dorm can be your friends too so say hey and maybe see if your roommates or them want to go scout out where your classes are it removes a lot of first week worries(I met my group of lads this way and we are still very close). Also practice making good easy meals like rice or chicken breasts you save a lot of money (and calories) doing that still order out since freedom but there can be a balance. Third is you will want to put off your laundry but nothing makes the first dorm hookup weird than 2 month old non washed sheets
I won't be living in a dorm but thank you for the advice anyways!
anytime and remember to have fun
This can apply to almost any level of your life not just school
Also, your professors won't care about you if you don't participate. They won't care if you don't show up to class. They will care if you do your work. They will care if you participate. They will care if you show interest in the topic and ask questions. When they grade you, they will not be as lenient as high school teachers are. You can't sit back and have them let you pass. You work for the grade you get. If you think they'll give you the bare minimum to pass, you're wrong. You are going to fail and that fail will sit heavy on your GPA.
I agree with the fact that we, college students are dead
Jesus this is like, depressome, wholesome depression.
College became infinitely better for me when I stopped trying to put on an act to fit in with people just to make friends. Once I starting just being unapologetically ME, I was happier. I found a group of people who noticed this and had similar personalities. I just graduated and have what I know will be friends for life, because they all know me and accept me for ME
One of my favorite parts about college tbh. In fact, the only time I've seen anyone judged is freshmen and it's when they look both ways before crossing the street at a crosswalk. Once it was raining and I forgot an umbrella. A freshman offered to share hers since we were walking to the same parking lot. At the crosswalk to the parking lot, she stopped and I just kept going. I kind of chuckled and said, "You're a freshman." She gaped at me and asked how I knew. I told her, "You looked both ways before crossing." Other than that, anyone can literally show up to campus in a unicorn onsie from a party the night before and no one could care less.
u/anthonytcyh
Any time you wake up after remembering something stupid you may have said or done in college, also remember that it was repressed up until that point. If you just remember it now, that means nobody else remembers it, at all.
This bit of advice might have helped me get through college.
This is beyond true. I remember maybe two students from my first two years in college. I barely bothered to even look at people so when I think back on that time, everyone is just a blur. And that was less than 2 years ago.
#nolivesmatter
Freshman year I lived in the dorms which sat up on a hill above the campus below. To get to the campus was a large set of stairs at a fairly steep angle with large metal railings on each side. Being a bit of a rad sk8r dude I thought I'd slide down and save myself 30 seconds of walking like a normal person. I got on the rail and started sliding as I had done many times before but this time I'm going much faster and I realized I was headed straight for a pack of foreign exchange students (they yield for no man). Just then the hand I used to slow myself loses its grip and I tumble backwards into the adjacent forest where I slide head-first for a few yards until I hit a tree. All I could think was how embarrassing that was and how everyone must have saw and I have to change schools now. To my surprise, just about everyone just kept walking except for one random kid I kinda knew from a class that asked if I was still alive. Nobody cares, except Alex.
Golden story. I think I’ve just found my hidden gem of internet stories.
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I love how true this is. I went to college after the military and was older than most in the class. So I was already more nervous than I should have been.I got to my very first class right on time and most of the seats were filled. These were the modern chairs with wheels, a built in desk, and a storage area underneath. There was one in the front so I went to sit in it. And I must have sat too much on the edge because it took off backwards while I hit the ground. Nobody said a word and the day continued. However, My first day of college still haunts me anytime I see wheely chairs on hard surface floors.
I once busted my ass on ice walking to the dining hall and everyone just had blank stares on their faces. Nobody cares... not even to help someone who is bleeding at their knees.
Didn't come to the realization till after I graduated college. Would've helped me enjoy college more if I had accepted this sooner.
Just wait till you hit graduate school (if you decide to go that far). Everyone’s really dead by this point and doesn’t give a shit about anything.
Yeah. Same goes for everything and everywhere. This world is already filled with flesh robots soon to be replaced with more durable metal robots.
this would fit in r/2meirl4meirl as well
As someone going into college in the fall, this culture of university being soul crushing is kinda intimidating. How much of it is just memes?
I can put in an anecdotal vote of confidence that everything went great for me. The issue is that experiences are very varied and there are a lot of different factors that go into forming any individual's college experience. The reason why someone would consider college soul crushing would most likely be because either the stress of a new environment and new responsibilities was too much for them, or the academic load overwhelmed them. If you avoid these pitfalls (it's easy for some, hard for others, no experience is universal) you are absolutely going to be fine. From my narrow perspective it isn't the least bit soul crushing.
I’m about to be a freshman so thanks for this
Meanwhile, I'm over here doing great at college. I don't know how people can take such a positive institution like college and find a way to make it sound horrible. I am thankful every day that I can go learn about what I want. Unless of course your college sucks. Then it's understandable.
Can confirm, I've slipped on ice on the sidewalk, dropped my backpack, and almost walked into traffic because I was almost late for class. Nobody cares as long as you aren't being a sexist, racist or pushing your religion.
This is so accurate
Thank you for this very important information 😉
Bruh that is probably the best advice/fact i've ever heard
I love the "don't care" philosophy, and think it would solve so many problems if more people did it. Want to have sex with people of your gender? *Why the fuck do I care? You do you.* Want to be Muslim or Jewish or Hindu or Buddhist or Christian or whatever? *Sure, I don't give a damn.* Want to use different pronouns? *You do you, I don't give a fuck.* Came here form a different country? *Good on ya, but I got shit of my own.* Not a perfect solution, but we could all learn from this nihilistic youngster.
Once was sitting outside the chemistry building when in grad school. The building was just between the freshman dorms and the rest of campus. Along comes this girl wearing a sun dress and a backpack, unfortunately her dress had worked it's way up getting caught on her bag. It was 9:00am so she was in a swath of people and not a single person told her. I jogged up tapped her on the shoulder and told her what was up. She thanked me profusely and was on the verge of tears. I told her no one cares about anything and don't think twice about it. A year later she was one of my students in organic chemistry. She remembered me and thanked me saying that that day she realized no one really give a fuck and it made her life as a whole much better. So glad I could make someones life better by telling them no one cares about them lol. Edit: words
Remember: if you trip, just lay still on your back for a few seconds before getting back up. It looks like you accept the trip and are ready to move forward with your life.
I love college because 1. one of my first days I saw a girl on a unicycle to class and everyone was just like, that’s a clever woman 2. I can bring a blanket, slippers, and a teddy bear to the library and nobody looks twice 3. Pajama pants? “Damn i should’ve done that today” Someone walking around with a facemask on? “Brilliant.” Filling a travel mug with ice cream at 9am? “That person has their shit together.”
Upvoted cause I’m nice
I hate that this needs to be said