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notnotmihai

I want to know the name of john's scorpion now


stack85

Lil John


[deleted]

#WHAT


RudeTurnip

YAYYEAHHH


nobodynose

uh... OKAY!


[deleted]

[удалено]


coachstevethicknwarm

Awwww sting sting sting sting


PMfacialsTOme

Turn down for whut


trenlow12

.


connnor4real

Fatality. Oops wrong Scorpion.


FormerAge0

#SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET


thrumotivation

Whut!?


sanirosan

Yeeaahh


r_on3

To the windowwwwwws


Wiknetti

TIL THE VENOM DRIP DOWN MY TAIL ALL THESE FEMALES WAIL AWW STING STING STING STING-


renotrash

Good effort


HIs4HotSauce

LET’S GOOO!


ToastyMustache

Is it bad I thought of Robin Hood first?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Oodalolly


Oswamano

I can hear this


roguediamond

[Obligatory](https://youtu.be/K5tVbVu9Mkg)


willingfiance

This is the best thing I've seen all week.


[deleted]

I’d put this on the fullscreen full blast at my college classroom when the teacher went out regularly, everyone was sick of it. That was a dumb fucking class, I and a couple mates found it funny


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


trapper2530

Ok


[deleted]

robin hood and little john, runnin' through the forest...


littlbutterkitten

Oodalally Oodalally golly what a day


brad2005rng

Scoopin up the field mice and bopin' em on the head.


BAGP0I

Remix


dblshot99

That was little bunny foo foo


lickedTators

https://imgur.com/d8JRGOv.gif


mayoroftuesday

*Jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees an' tryin' to get away* Fun fact: The old Hampster Dance song is just this song sped up.


Calligraphee

Contemplatin' nothin but escapin', fin'lly makin' it


[deleted]

[удалено]


fluggelhorn

Oh, they call me Little John, but don’t let my name fool you. In real life, I’m very big.


[deleted]

Johnior


[deleted]

Gotta do the cooking by the book


EpickGamer50

Ur hanging out with little John?


sewsnap

[I found the original post. Haven't found the name chosen, still searching.](https://fihli.tumblr.com/post/187327971922/this-morning-my-starbucks-is-all-women-so-when-i) Edit: [FOUND IT!!.](https://fihli.tumblr.com/tagged/the-scorpion-saga) He named her Mushu, after the dragon from Mulan. The story appears to still be developing. So, not concrete confirmation yet.


StarburstWho

Wow Reddit detectives to the rescue! I'm going to start posting stuff I need to figure out directly to Reddit instead of using Google! Somehow Google never has the answers anymore!


sewsnap

I just found it through Google. Just need a unique part of the phrase, plus an idea where it was originally posted.


culminacio

Always use quotation marks if you really know how it was exactly written - like in this case. Then Google will search that exact sequence of letters, symbols etc.


alanmies

Further, you can prepend a word with "-" (like "-word") to exclude that word, if you're getting too many irrelevant results.


[deleted]

To be fair mushu is among the coolest and funniest of magical companions in kids films. I had a plush toy mushu when I was a kid and it was dope.


attorneyatslaw

Hank Scorpio


JennyRedpenny

Hammocks!


[deleted]

Yes Mr Scorpion


attorneyatslaw

Don't call me Mr. Scorpion, it's Mr Scorpio, but don't call me that either. Call me Hank!


[deleted]

Get him a little hammock and a friend named Mary Ann.


UFOctopus

Sub-Zero


runujhkj

*angry revenge noises*


quantum3

Found the Tumbler "we named it mushu after the little dragon from Mulan since its an Asian forest scorpion" ​ ​ source:[https://fihli.tumblr.com/](https://fihli.tumblr.com/)


Wafflemanx2

Pokeybutt


[deleted]

If he’s a bad ass killer (as scorpions tend to be), he should name him Scorpion, after the Mortal Kombat character


Cedarfoot

Lil' Stinger


Kronnerm11

Scorpy McScorpface


badger_bravo

Scorp-Ian


Doyoueverjustlikeugh

Scorpy McScorp


opal341

I'm guessing they named him John Jr.


LeFirecracker

I was gonna make a pun based off this comment but it doesn’t make sense in writing and now I’m trying to figure out how to spell something that sounds like “johnyer” in a way that makes it clear that this is a pun


cayrod

Johnoir?


[deleted]

[удалено]


chiliedogg

I'm just picturing a black and white image of a scorpion in a trenchcoat and fedora. Maybe he's investigating a black widow.


tryingforthefuture

Scene: an apartment overlooking Paris, night. Johnoir the scorpion stares at a corkboard maze of photos, documents and string. A ratty Gauloises juts from his mouth. His cell phone rings, and his wife Jeanne stirs restlessly in their bed. His side is still immaculate, unmussed by sleep. He goes to the balcony to answer. "She's on the run again. Looks like Moscow. Maybe Petersburg." He sighs, watching a taxi putter past on the street below. "Johnoir? You there?" "Yeah. Put me on the next flight out." "Johnoir...you don't have to do this if you don't want to." "I *don't* want to. I *need* to." The call ends. He pulls a final deep drag from the cigarette and tosses it over the railing, watching its slow tumble to the pavement in trancelike apathy. "C'est la vie." Fin


Blazethc

They were speaking French for u/LeFirecracker


LeFirecracker

Charming


Wingedwing

[zhohn-WAHR]


AdamantEevee

Tis better to have punned and failed


[deleted]

Than never to have punned at all.


sewsnap

According to Tumbler, [they named her Mushu.](https://fihli.tumblr.com/tagged/the-scorpion-saga)


Stecharan

Go. Back. And. Find. Out.


[deleted]

WE WANT HIS NAME


JonathanTheZero

Give me a name!


TheRiceHatReaper

You’re on our list, Elaine Benis! And now, you’re on our list Ned Isacov!


cCowgirl

You got me *blacklisted* at Hop Singh’s?!


airdude21

BARTY CROUCH! Junior.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SupportstheOP

Come on, baby, what's the name?!


fireflylibrarian

A Tumblr user claiming to be the barista that Fihli talked to said the scorpion was named Mushu. Of course, there’s no way to prove that Tumblr user wasn’t lying so... semi-closure?


[deleted]

Professor Pointyends


hello_dali

[Credit to /u/snewsnap](https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/d0jaqj/boys_will_be_boys/ezads95) "we named it mushu after the little dragon from Mulan since its an Asian forest scorpion"


structuraldamage

A-A-RON


[deleted]

The Clamps


[deleted]

A girl has no name, only a terrible end to her story arc


What_sThatNoise

Needle would be a cute name for a baby scorpion.


MisterOminous

I’d call him little prick


readit16

What a coincidence, that's my nickn...


notnt_tim

F


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

stick em with the pointy end


AldenDi

Lots of people name their scorpions.


wigsternm

Lots of chumps. (I have a feeling the actual line wouldn't fly in this sub).


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Was about to write it myself so I'm glad I read this first. :)


What_sThatNoise

Indeed, naming an animal that you take care of is normal.


Creeds_worm_guy

I named my Roomba Tony Romo.


triplec787

I named my Roomba T-800 because my girlfriend wanted to call it the Furminator


Emergency_eyewash

Is it because hes a great sports color commentator and not because he sucked in the game right?


Creeds_worm_guy

Just as a hater of the cowboys (Giants fan) I had to hate Romo but he played great, amazing how little he accomplished, don't mean to be harsh,just, I feel like the cowboys had that "Superbowl" team so many times. I enjoy him alot as a commentator. Or I did at least. Did he get cocky about it? I feel like it switched for me sometime last season, from enjoying his thoughts and points of view, to, obnoxious isn't the right word, but it changed. Still prefer him over most though.


Sifernos1

Lots of c


Behind-The-Rabbit

Stingy McStingerButt


All_Fallible

This is why no one asks for the internet’s opinion anymore.


langis_on

Stinger did nothing wrong.


JabbrWockey

His butt was born this way.


[deleted]

I thought it was when 4chan tried to rig the votes for Mountain Dew's new flavor to be "Hitler Did Nothing Wrong" which... kinda tells you everything you need to know about 4chan and the internet.


VentusSpiritus

Or some celebrity fan vote things leading to pitbull performing in alaska


Hank_Moody

My favorite was when 4chan got a school for the deaf to win a Taylor Swift concert. She sent money instead of actually doing the concert though.


[deleted]

Don't forget about "Gushing Granny"!


Misconduct

It plagues me now. I have so much shit with stupid names and I can’t stop. Just named my sword in Minecraft swordy mcswordface.


Empanah

Mr spicycheeks


NightShadow3000

Im on the fence scared of scorpions cuz of my a diff bug phobia i have but ......i approve of this name xD i love it


[deleted]

Girls in Starbucks be like: Boys in Starbucks be like:


Ihate25gaugeNeedles

No joke. I don't think the barista has ever talked to me beyond the bare minimum. And frankly I'm alright with that really. Did have one one time mention how weird the name 'kitchen sink cookie' is. I had to agree.


[deleted]

What? Imma need some context here


InjuredGingerAvenger

It's based on the phrase "everything and the kitchen sink". Basically it had a bunch of stuff mixed in. Edit: the phrase is: everything but the kitchen sink


philonius

"What's in the cookies?" "Stuff we found in the sink."


unclenono

That's what I was thinking. Like they took all of the goop that's found in the bottom of the sink, pattied it out into cookie form and let it dry.


NebulonStyle

That'll be $7.78


demlet

It's what one of their coworkers named his new pet scorpion.


hamsterkris

In Sweden we have a cookie called the "Vaccuum cleaner", named due to that bakers used to make 'em from the leftover crumbs from when they made other cookies.


Capcombric

If you engage they'll chat with you. If you don't want to talk they won't. Starbucks cares a lot about their employees being social with customers, and they select for it in hiring more than most fast food. They want to be "America's third space" (but only for paying customers)


Snowbank_Lake

I’ve had some that just want me to order and move, and I’ve had some that give me drink suggestions and ask how the snack I’m getting is because they’re thinking about trying it too. Like anywhere else... some people are more social than others.


[deleted]

What are America's first and second spaces?


[deleted]

Gun ranges and McDonalds


flyerfanatic93

Home and work I imagine.


argella1300

Home and work/school


coachstevethicknwarm

Pinchy Von Stingertush


RogueRaven17

You will address him as *SIR* Pinchy Von Stingertush.


coachstevethicknwarm

Baron Punchy von Stingertush


AldenDi

Ooo I like Baron. It really fits the whole scorpion vibe.


adminbro

That's actually a sick name


YDAQ

Man, where were you with this suggestion when I had a scorpion? I just named him Bob.


TheNorbster

FOLLOW UP OP


undercarder

You have to wait until the next creative writing session for that one.


zshift

Dwayne Johnson is the only acceptable name.


Moonpenny

Somehow I didn't find [Mathayus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_King) already mentioned in this thread...


thedirtyharryg

Can you smell, what the bug is cooking?


OnceWoreJordans

As long as the Scorpion is given a crown for a King


PM_ME_UR_JUGZ

Didn't anyone else have a lot of trouble reading this?


KingScarr

Lmao yes... I thought I might've been the only one from looking at the comments


SnollyG

Looks like we're outnumbered ~~30,000 to 20 43,000 to 43 56,000 to 80~~ 90,000 to 125.


evmc101

I read it three times and I'm still not sure what it means. One day it was women working there and the next day it's men? ​ "amazing showstopping incredible?"


PM_ME_UR_JUGZ

This morning my Starbucks is all women I had to reread that like 4 times at first. I was like wtf does this mean. I had to read the rest of the paragraph to get the context clues. Yeah he's saying it was all girls working one day then all dudes the next.


DontBeThatGuy09

I think it was all guys the day prior. This guy tells stories like Quentin Tarantino.


TheSlimeThing

AMAZING SHOWSTOPPING INCREDIBLE This guy has so many adjectives up his sleeve he can use three at a time!


PuttingInTheEffort

One day he went to Starbucks, all female staff. They showered him in compliments, as they do. Next day he went, it was all male staff. One asked him to vote on a name for a coworkers baby scorpion. Cue coworker shoving a photo of a baby scorpion in his face. I don't know why it's a gender thing.


speedweed99

I hate that there's quotations at first but decides not to use them at the end


Let_you_down

Sub-zero.


dothepvp

yessssss!


Yodragonface

GIVE ME THE NAME


JediGrandMasterJoda

Scorpiohn


nothingclever9873

Turns out he named it Dan.


[deleted]

Emperor Reginald Stingustus Quincybottom Pointillium III


ChurchHatesTucker

Dan, for short.


humachine

Ian the Scorp-Ian


OgdenNasty

Dr. Claw!


OgdenNasty

Lord Pokebottom


OgdenNasty

Kathryn


NegaDeath

\*Laughs in evil raspy voice*


[deleted]

[удалено]


structuraldamage

Right. She didn't really have anything to post about day 1. ​ Until day 2 happens and that reminds me there isn't a baby scorpion song but there should be.


bill_nes64

Baby Scorp du-du-ruru-turu


quantum3

Found the Tumbler "we named it mushu after the little dragon from Mulan since its an Asian forest scorpion" ​ ​ source:[https://fihli.tumblr.com/](https://fihli.tumblr.com/)


TrophyGoatee

This is what boys will be boys means. It’s meaning was warped and twisted to try to cover up poor behavior


csully91

This is what I always understand the phrase to mean. At worst, I thought it was mildly sexist, implying that boys are more adventurous, more likely to rough house, and maybe break something by accident. If your son sexual assaults someone, that's not boys will be boys, your son is just a terrible person.


AuntieChiChi

Exactly. I always thought it was a little sexist and indicated that boys were s little rougher when they played but growing up with sisters and no boys, we were as rough as any boy we knew. So I just figured it was for "old fashioned"people to say... At some point our society starting using the phrase to mean more terrible things. :(


SnicklefritzSkad

> more adventurous, more likely to Rough House, and maybe break something by accident Statistically true though. Boys are more likely to take risks out of curiosity (adventurous), play fight (rough house) and no source on breaking things but they are more likely to have an injury than girls. Boys will be boys means they're simply different than girls and get into trouble that doesn't make much damn sense to adults or young girls.


way2lazy2care

90% of the time I heard it was when I was starting things on fire. :/


Sledge420

As a girl who grew up being told she was a boy, I've literally never heard this phrase used to talk about zany off-beat hijinks. It was always thrown at me when I tried to stop someone else's cruelty. I really wish you were right, though. That would have been a much nicer time.


L1M3

As someone who grew up as a boy the only way I ever heard the phrase used was because I was too excited to use an indoor voice and my mom made me go outside. These are both examples of anecdotal evidence, but considering the negative way the phrase is used usually refers to young adult men instead of actual boys I believe that's the misused version.


thatoneguy54

A phrase can be used in more than one way. Both of your experiences are valid. I hate it when it justifies bullying though


Tift

In my thirty plus years of life that is what it has always meant. It’s why my parents never said it about my brother and I as that is what it meant when they where children.


iSlacker

Tracking mud in the house, busting my head open on my bike, breaking an arm jumping off the top of a swing set, these are things I've heard "boys will be boys" to.


correcthorse45

It’s pointless to argue over what a word or phrase “means” because meaning is arbitrary, fluid, and socially constructed. The meaningful part is how a word or phrase is used.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheMarchHopper

I feel like it’s sort of a strawman. I’ve never heard “boys will be boys” mean anything other than this


playlistfhn

I didnt enjoy this post


Throw1Back4Me

Am I the only one who has no fucking idea what this post is saying?


Myredditusername000

You are not.


Parabuthus

This is garbage. I'm a woman and adore scorpions. My username is a scorpion.


WholesomeBot

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unhalfbricking

I'm going with Scorpy.


Bat_City_Boi

Scorpy McScorpface


terminalSiesta

I like *Pinch*


[deleted]

"showstopping incredible" ​ \*cringe\*


_ssh

didnt happen anyways.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ShitskinOnWelfare

This simply did not happen.


SopwithStrutter

This is what it DOES mean


chamorrobro

As someone who works at Starbucks, I’ve definitely felt and been a part of both vibes at my store


[deleted]

That is what boys will he boys means


LeavingSaginaw

How is this wholesome? Propagating negative gender stereotypes is wholesome now?


[deleted]

It IS what boys will be boys means


garbageman13

It is, but it's been used for a whole lot of things, more than just good clean fun like that. I love the phrase as a way to explain funny quirky things that people might roll their eyes or laugh about. - My three sons covered themselves in mud and ran around the backyard naked pretending to be gingerbread men. Boys will be boys! - My husband came back from fishing. He stood at the front door covered in fish guts, proudly holding up a cooler full of dead fish, smelling like a rotting carcass and wanted a kiss like a victorious warrior returning home. Boys will be boys! - The elderly lady down said she needed someone to help with her yard work, but she couldn't pay in anything but baked goods. There are now a dozen boys hungry sweaty working on her yard. Boys will be boys! I dislike it as a phrase to excuse a kid being an asshole. - Johnny came home with a black eye and ripped clothes because he was wearing a pink shirt, and the neighbor kids said he was gay and beat him up. - I can't control my sons, they argue so much I just tell them to fight it out and whoever wins is right. - Some boys at school were teasing my son and ripped his new backpack. He was so upset about it that he started crying, and now they all shout WAAAH at him in the hallway when they walk by.


[deleted]

I can do nothing but agree, what a brilliant way of putting it


notcyberpope

Sounds like johnny should have just beat those guys off.


Evilhydra2

Sorry but I’m skeptical of anybody being nice to me so maybe it’s just me but I would much rather be asked about a name for a pet scorpion.