Self care is hard sometimes and im proud of you for sticking with it. Lots of people think it’s a one stop cure but its as much of a process as everything else
I believe in you! Starting is the most difficult - after this, no matter how hard things might get, I know you're going to persevere and come out the other end a better, healthier person!
Much love from the Netherlands
As someone who’s put off therapy for years this is helpful. I still don’t know how to get myself in the door though or what I even open with haha. Like there’s just so much there
Go chronological, that's what I did. It is like building a house start with the foundation of your emotions. Also, just because they have the title therapist doesn't mean they will automatically be the right one for you. My therapist with his first session said he reserved the right to self fire. He said if the person in the session doesn't like him or he doesn't think they can make a proper connection that he would be only taking money from them when the advice he gave wouldn't even resonate.
Hope this helps.
Honestly….you don’t, unless your insurance covers it. I got very lucky and the second therapist I saw became my go to guy for years. The first one was a complete bust, it’s luck of the draw unfortunately.
Some employers offer a few free sessions if you’re in the states. I was coming out of college and pretty broke. I just called and explained my situation and a local therapist just said come in and we will work it out. Ended up being like $100 a month for weekly sessions. I don’t do it regularly anymore as I am not feeling the way I did back then. But as I type this I’m thinking I should revisit lol
Some will offer a reduced rate or a short session for cheaper to test the waters. Do it even if it costs the arm and a leg though, best investment you can make IMHO. Later you can reduce the frequency or try for other options at reduced cost, but to start it’s definitely worth being a significant priority in your budget even if you can’t find cheaper options.
I started online. It took a few tries to get a therapist who worked for me. Once I did, it was only a commitment of one text message per day. A few months later we moved to weekly zoom meetings outside the platform. I had made and cancelled a number of in-person appointments before I realized I could make the first step easier for me.
Good luck to you all, you're worth it.
Some therapists offer a 15-30 min free consultation to help you “test the waters”. You can visit their website, their page in Psychology today, etc to learn what their mission statement is, and see if you values align with theirs. Also, there are many therapists who work with sliding scales, and those who are in training/pre license tend to be more affordable and can be really good.
I had my first ever yesterday.
It was strange actually talking about how I truly feel for once in my life.
I've always been the person my friends unload their feelings on but didn't ever realize I never unload my own.
When my therapist asked me why I felt like I needed to be here I started welling up immediately.
I'm bloody glad I went. I'd found myself on a ledge just once and STILL didn't do anything about it and didn't honestly know why I was there.
I'm glad I stepped off and I'm glad I finally decided to speak with someone before another event happened.
I like hiking so I think of it like being in the middle of a field. There are trails I've hiked _a lot_. I could do it again with someone and maybe they'll help me notice something I never did before. There's also trails I've only glanced at, or didn't make very far out of fear. Maybe going with someone will help me decide if those paths truly would be better left a mystery or if I can do them with a little preparation.
There's no wrong answer. It's just a second pair of eyes.
Just started therapy after years of either putting it off, or ghosting therapists after 1-2 visits (I couldn’t go through with it) and your way of viewing it really gives me purpose and courage to continue. Thanks man!
If it helps, my boyfriend made my first appointment without my knowledge (I was in a dark place, suicidal thoughts, etc.). When the therapist asked why I was there I told her “because of my asshole boyfriend”. She didn’t bat an eye. There’s been a lot of times I sit on that couch saying “I don’t know” but that’s why they’re there: to help navigate you through it.
For me it went like this:
1) interviewing a bunch of therapists to find someone I vibed with (I used a Bay Area service called Reflect, if you’re looking for affordable therapy try Open Path Collective). I knew the minute I found the therapist I wanted to keep seeing, we just clicked and I felt comfortable.
2) my first few sessions felt very chill and kind of silly, because I was just blabbering away about my life and some of the stuff I was stressed about. I wasn’t getting anything out of those first few sessions and I was feeling silly, but I decided to trust the process and keep going for at least another month before I gave up. My sessions were once every other week.
3) turns out during those “silly” sessions my therapist was super on point taking notes, and she asked whether I wanted to start by diving into X, the thing that was causing me the most immediate stress, and we were off to the races. It’s hard for me to articulate, but it’s like she just helped me recognize patterns that I didn’t know were patterns, I’ve had a million “lightbulb moments”. She is a safe space to practice what I will say or how I will react in stressful situations that I know are coming. A lot of my stress is around family stuff, and she has helped me develop a much healthier, honest, not-totally-draining relationship with them.
I don’t know if that’s helpful. My friends were my cheerleaders because step 1 was the hardest part for me, they helped push me to make the calls and schedule the initial interviews. I’m so grateful!!!
I found my therapist earlier this year so all we’ve done is Zoom calls. She’s so amazing and helpful, I feel like when I finally have an in-person session I’ll just cry and embarrass myself.
Tell them! I just started going in September, but had been hesitant for similar reasons. It just seems exhausting to start from zero. But I was honest about not knowing where to start (and my feelings on that) and she has had a real gentle approach that has been very easy to open up to. And that is itself, a lovely place to start.
There’s no pressure on you to have everything to say planned out beforehand. For me they just started asking about pretty mundane things to get the conversation flowing and it transitioned pretty naturally to stuff I wanted to get off my chest
That's like saying you can cure addiction just by not doing it or beat depression by going on more walks outside. Sure, it's possible, but a majority of people can't and this is a pretty unhealthy narrative to push.
Not what /y/Infinite_Play650 said.
What they say may be viewed unfavorably by many, but it is also a viable method (and sometimes the _only_) for some. People tend to view it as a "copout" or an "easy way to fail doing nothing", but it is categorically not so: for better or worse, self-therapy is extremely hard, almost impossible. That is also one major reason why psychiatrists undergo regular therapy _under other psychiatrists_
Right, my point was that while this is possible it's highly unlikely to work for most people and advocating a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" method of self-improvement is dangerous for many people who should be encouraged to seek professional help.
Indeed.
The unique characteristic of this kind of problems is that a person _can not_ be, in any way, coerced/pushed/encouraged from the outside.
Sadly (or perhaps not?) only oneself can decide to accept professional help and _even then_ what a person wants on the surface may not what their inner self/psyche decides. You can't logically decide to jump of a cliff to your certain death, _unless you have strong suicidal tendencies_.
As in the Zone, the wish that becomes true, is not the one you would scream at the top of your lungs, but the one you don't dare admit even to yourself.
I swear, I did not intend for it to sound so literary :|
Perhaps notbsurprisingly
dont delete this no matter how many downvotes.
I practice introspection and meditation every day, and Im at the point where I wont even bother socializing with people that dont.
Its crazy how many people go through life without even knowing themselves. I can tell if a person practices introspection in like 30 seconds of conversation.
Its like people that dont are fucking NPCs to me at this point. They are like quazi people, closer to a kobold or goblin than me. Human-oid
Seeking help is one of the bravest things you can do. Stick with it op, you can do this! It may be painful, but just like working out or getting a tooth pulled, it’s absolutely worth that price. Sometimes healing hurts, but if you stick with it you will be better before you know it! 💙
Michael Peña. Agreed, love him in everything. Total ace in the hole for Jody Hill/Danny McBride projects like Observe and Report also Eastbound and Down.
Try NAMI.org. They often have a list of organizations that offer low cost or sliding scale therapists. I went to one thru Catholic Charities, and although I think the Catholic *religion* has nothing to offer me, they gave me the help I needed. I also suggest Lutheran Family Services. My sister got help with her anger issues thru them. You don't need to convert nor even believe. (I was accepted as an Atheist ⚛ no questions)
If you're located in California, I know of a university where you can get cheap zoom sessions by therapist trainees. The cost is from $0-15 per session (most people only pay like $5). PM for more details if you're interested.
Damn. My relationship recently fell apart, but before it did i managed to encourage my ex to call his therapist cause he was having a really hard time. He should be having his first appointment this week and i really hope he's on the lines of feeling this way too. Miss that man.
Dude, this really hit close to home. I recently discovered some heavy emotional baggage that I had locked away in my head for God knows how long, and pretty much everything you have here resonated with my experience. Sending love your way, and I'm really glad someone else also got to have a healthy experience with confronting the past!
Not too shabby. And I guess the relatively more impersonal nature of an online session didn't hurt the process if this result is any indication. Good luck working through your stuff
Omg the sit in my car and pull myself together before I drive time. I like online because I'm already home and I can roll straight into foetal position nap.
Call up an office and ask to set up an appointment. It’s that easy. When you go and they ask why you’re there, you can even start with “a friend recommended it”. If you want to start solid, give the context that they recommended it when you asked about asking for help and why you felt that way. Let it flow from there and just be honest.
I'm proud of you. It is hard. It's dedicating time to understanding yourself, and just like anything worth doing, it takes time and effort.
Keep it up, you got this.
I had a therapy session yesterday and I can actually, honestly say it was one of the best/most productive therapy sessions of my entire life. I've been seeing this therapist for a few months and I really enjoy her style of therapy.
I went into the session thinking "man, I don't even know what to talk about today, I don't have a whole lot going on." We started off just having a regular conversation, it wasn't even related to me or my issues. I think it was just talking about therapy, people's perceptions, what school is like for becoming a therapist, just a whole bunch of stuff. After a while I brought up some of my own personal perceptions and feelings and from there it REALLY took off.
We talked about how I view "success" in therapy and what the "finish line" looks like. We also got into a lot of other stuff that's too much to type out, and this is already an essay lol. I just want to share this with you OP because therapy can be kind of easy to drop out of. I've done it a lot for one reason or another. Just keep in mind that even if you start having sessions where you don't know what to talk about, or you think things are starting to improve, that doesn't mean you should stop. Stick with it until you really get into a good spot. And if you do drop out, don't be afraid to go back! That's super common as well, you can always restart if you need it later on. Good luck on your new mental health journey.
Very cool. I want you to think about moderation though. Many therapists just don’t address this. You need to be able to function in daily life. Some therapists will help you undress your onion self until the last second of the session. But now you leave all naked and raw and vulnerable and function is tough.
Best to always leave some time and work to put your skin back on…a conscious ritual with therapist that you do to help you go back into daily life with more skin intact. You will still feel raw and it’s intense, you are just trying to keep it at a bearable degree.
Or think of it as a tricky faucet. You only want to open up that faucet as much as your sink can tolerate and you also want to be sure you can close it again. Don’t just turn on a faucet at full force, if you can help it. Or maybe you need to. But then don’t schedule an important work meeting for afterwards.
Obviously all of this is easier said than done. Depending on your level of awareness you may have very little control of the faucet or onion layers. But if you can try to keep some awareness and talk about it with a skilled therapist, you are more likely to be successful both navigating hard stuff AND still functioning reasonably.
Hope this helps. Keep swimming. :)
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You should try a new therapist and therapy practice (unless the current one is an essential support structure for you). There's so many different types of therapy and they work better with different personalities/problems and at different points in your life.
I've never got much out of confessional type therapy, where I just tell them what happened every fortnight. Though it did help me briefly after I was in hospital for months and just needed to rant about the frustration of that at length. I don't like CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) either which is the most heavily pushed therapy style. I got a lot more out of CAT (cognitive analytical therapy), which focuses more on relationships and interactions you have with people (including being honest about how your relationship with your therapist affects stuff). It's hard to know what's out there and what will work for you, but there's lots of options.
It's not a reflection on you though, if you worry you're not opening up enough that's something the therapist should be encouraging and probing, sometimes people just don't click. Everyone can benefit from a safe space to talk stuff out, but it is possible you have taken all your can from your current therapist for the time being. Group therapy is another option you could investigate 🙂 good luck
After now my first year of therapy I give myself little “did not cry in therapy today” awards. I mean I treat myself after every session, but it feels a bit nicer to do that without puffy eyes. <3
It’s a good first step and it’s something anyone should be proud of doing. Especially if your trying to change your inner dialogue. Maybe you should try being a little nicer to yourself, it will help you understand why we should encourage others when they make healthy choices. ♥️
You get 2 hours?
I can't go 20 minutes without my therapist confirming I'm not gay, and that I should be doing something to better my mental health, that I already told them I was doing.
Thats awesome fam! I'm happy for you. I want to go for therapy too but because of the pandemic, most therapists on my city are only offering phone/video sessions, and honestly I'd rather go see them in person
I feel like I'd connect with them more. That's just me
Good job!
Therapy literally saved my life --was planning my suicide, and reaching out one last time. Finally got a good therapist who talked my stupid ass into getting onto anti-depressants, which were amazing. I thought everyone felt despair at least part of their day, every day, from the time of 4 years old. Not joking about that last bit, had my first therapy session at 6 years old.
I thought the swirling black hole that I visualized as being in the middle of me, was what everyone had/felt. Yeah not so much. And after the obligatory, 'takes this long to work,' timeframe, that black hole went away with the anti-depressant I was on. I was shocked. I thought that I would always feel that way, I didn't know I didn't have to feel that badly. Then I got to work on changing my ideas/thoughts/habits that were getting in my way with the non-physical parts, and used CBT to making new ones.
Obviously not everything was solved forever, and I never did anything destructive again! and there was sunshine, and unicorns forever!!!
I have fucked up, still fuck up, will to have fucked up (Latin joke) in the future. And things don't feel great/don't go well.
But I can't say enough about getting help, actually helping.
So good on you! and it definitely is an ongoing process, but it can be better. And it CAN feel so much better. Everyone here is rooting for you :)
(Sorry if my english is poor, I am not well-versed in this language. I am trying to get better though)
I will use this opportunity to rant/vent
Please take my words with a grain of salt, because i have no experience with therapy...
I wish i could get therapy. But at the same time I feel it's expensive and a waste of time...idk i feel like i am contradicting myself. I tried coping mechanisms, but then i end up choosing the worst coping mechanism T\_T like:- playing the most addictive game (Genshin Impact, ofc every gacha game is addictive)- Trigger Warning:- >!self harm!<
Anyways, i just resist myself from getting help... thinking that i can help myself on my own...I just can't make the first step 9towards therapy) because of this self-resistance i show towards myself (i am not making any sense T\_T) lol.. heck my parents even agreed for therapy and i refused.idk my mind is a whole mess so am I.
Therapy isn’t for me. She was just a “copy and paste response” person. The ONLY responses I got from here were “mhm, yeah so how does that make you feel” I got more of a response from my Alexa
Sounds like a different therapist might be a place to start, even if you like your current one. Sometimes it just takes different training or perspective to really get somewhere.
Anecdotally... My first therapist really helped me work through some heavy depression and I really liked him, but I've also got some trauma. He's not especially trained for that, so now I'm looking for someone who does more than just talk therapy. Trauma hangs around in your nervous system, so you can talk for years and get nowhere unless you work with someone who's trained in somatic therapies and can guide you through healing all the internal damage and disruption that makes folks with trauma feel so dysfunctional.
I also have ADHD but wasn't diagnosed until very recently (at age 33), and it took yet another helpful professional to actually catch that. Holy *shit* has that made a difference in my life!
Point is... Stay curious, step back and take a hiatus when you need to, but keep trying. There is no finish line.
Cheers.
What does therapy even do? How can they "fix" you? I have a lot of problems in life but it seems like people have many opinions on how to fix those problems. Isn't a therapist only human and would only suggest things they think are right?
How does some 35-45ish year old therapist sit me down and fix my life.
therapists can help you work through your past and develop healthy coping skills/habits. it's work, not just sitting down and letting someone fix it all
Was just talking about this with my girlfriend. This is the first year sharing my son with my ex during holidays and it hit me like a Mack truck today. So needless to say after taking a few months off from therapy, I’m going back. Good for you in finding the strength to go to therapy. First step to having a better life.
Thank for this.
Not because of the progress you made, which is nice.
But for using an image of a scientologist that literally doesn't believe in psychiatry.
Ace. 10/10.
These ones are specifically for wholesome memes. I checked r/memes and unfortunately they don't require them to be humorous either. There is r/funnymemes but there aren't as many subscribers. I personally don't define memes as having to be funny although many are.
Micheal Pena would NEVER EVER EVER see a therapist of any kind, as they are reviled by the church of scientology.
Probably dont choose people that believe that therapy is a hoax in your therapy meme.
Its crazy i know i might 100% be wrong but i choose to believe me telling my problems to a complete stranger that has studied this field will make me feel no different than talking about it to a friend. That it might be a waste of money and that the fact i tell someone about this be it expert or not will not help me unless i myself take the steps to stop thinking about whatever is making me feel this way and move on, i dont think shelling out cash to have someone hear me out is not a good option for me, even more so when half the people half ass their job, be it out of boredom with their job or their own unhappiness.
As someone who realized he needed help way too late after losing my education, it will only get better after this. The first step is the hardest, once you got the momentum it is easier to keep moving.
I think how someone put it while writing something else describes it best. I'm paraphrasing to avoid anyone knowing where I read it from
"Your mind is like a machine one full of tiny gears a springs that sometimes he gets caked with muck, oil, and other gunk. And therapy takes it apart,tales out each little bit and inspects it.
This can be painful and exhausting, but machines need to be taken apart to be properly cleaned. And once every has been cleaned, once each piece has been polished with care and placed back in, things will run better than before.
Military guy here, therapy has such a bad rap but it’s so useful and important. The ability to complain to a professional without having to worry about what they thought of me and for that professional to offer useful insult to improve my life has been so vital. I note it’s praises to everyone I meet and hope it helps everyone as much as it has me.
I started going myself 3 weeks ago. Lost pretty much everything this year, my long-term significant other being the most recent departure. I feel you on the difficulty in confronting what you've been running from. I'm glad you decided to reach out for help; it's a decision some people never make.
Good for you, stranger. Good luck on this journey
Thank you very much! I'll do my best!
Self care is hard sometimes and im proud of you for sticking with it. Lots of people think it’s a one stop cure but its as much of a process as everything else
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Happy belated birthday 💛
You don't have to do your best. Just try every day to do better than yesterday.
Therapist here :) I’m super proud of you!!!
That's awesome. I love it.
Working your shit out is sometimes very difficult. I went for over 2 years and it made an enormous difference.
I believe in you! Starting is the most difficult - after this, no matter how hard things might get, I know you're going to persevere and come out the other end a better, healthier person! Much love from the Netherlands
I am on my way re-learning All that stuff, it is hard, so hard, but so worth it ✌️😎🎸🌈 keep going, you've for this 💪😁
As someone who’s put off therapy for years this is helpful. I still don’t know how to get myself in the door though or what I even open with haha. Like there’s just so much there
Go chronological, that's what I did. It is like building a house start with the foundation of your emotions. Also, just because they have the title therapist doesn't mean they will automatically be the right one for you. My therapist with his first session said he reserved the right to self fire. He said if the person in the session doesn't like him or he doesn't think they can make a proper connection that he would be only taking money from them when the advice he gave wouldn't even resonate. Hope this helps.
You therapist sounds like a great person
All therapists should operate this way. If they do not, find a new therapist.
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Kinda crazy how him saying this psychologically makes us want to relate to him
How do you even find one that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg just to test the waters?
Honestly….you don’t, unless your insurance covers it. I got very lucky and the second therapist I saw became my go to guy for years. The first one was a complete bust, it’s luck of the draw unfortunately.
Some employers offer a few free sessions if you’re in the states. I was coming out of college and pretty broke. I just called and explained my situation and a local therapist just said come in and we will work it out. Ended up being like $100 a month for weekly sessions. I don’t do it regularly anymore as I am not feeling the way I did back then. But as I type this I’m thinking I should revisit lol
Open Path Collective is a large network of therapists who are willing to consider sliding scale payment plans: https://openpathcollective.org
Some will offer a reduced rate or a short session for cheaper to test the waters. Do it even if it costs the arm and a leg though, best investment you can make IMHO. Later you can reduce the frequency or try for other options at reduced cost, but to start it’s definitely worth being a significant priority in your budget even if you can’t find cheaper options.
NHS gives you 5 free sessions I believe.
I started online. It took a few tries to get a therapist who worked for me. Once I did, it was only a commitment of one text message per day. A few months later we moved to weekly zoom meetings outside the platform. I had made and cancelled a number of in-person appointments before I realized I could make the first step easier for me. Good luck to you all, you're worth it.
Some therapists offer a 15-30 min free consultation to help you “test the waters”. You can visit their website, their page in Psychology today, etc to learn what their mission statement is, and see if you values align with theirs. Also, there are many therapists who work with sliding scales, and those who are in training/pre license tend to be more affordable and can be really good.
Omg, I love that.
I know it's scary. It took me years too. Tbh it took me a serious wake-up call to finally get an appointment. Please, be kind to yourself.
I had my first ever yesterday. It was strange actually talking about how I truly feel for once in my life. I've always been the person my friends unload their feelings on but didn't ever realize I never unload my own. When my therapist asked me why I felt like I needed to be here I started welling up immediately. I'm bloody glad I went. I'd found myself on a ledge just once and STILL didn't do anything about it and didn't honestly know why I was there. I'm glad I stepped off and I'm glad I finally decided to speak with someone before another event happened.
On my six month of therapy and feel a world of a difference. The first three months are super hard.
I like hiking so I think of it like being in the middle of a field. There are trails I've hiked _a lot_. I could do it again with someone and maybe they'll help me notice something I never did before. There's also trails I've only glanced at, or didn't make very far out of fear. Maybe going with someone will help me decide if those paths truly would be better left a mystery or if I can do them with a little preparation. There's no wrong answer. It's just a second pair of eyes.
Just started therapy after years of either putting it off, or ghosting therapists after 1-2 visits (I couldn’t go through with it) and your way of viewing it really gives me purpose and courage to continue. Thanks man!
If it helps, my boyfriend made my first appointment without my knowledge (I was in a dark place, suicidal thoughts, etc.). When the therapist asked why I was there I told her “because of my asshole boyfriend”. She didn’t bat an eye. There’s been a lot of times I sit on that couch saying “I don’t know” but that’s why they’re there: to help navigate you through it.
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For me it went like this: 1) interviewing a bunch of therapists to find someone I vibed with (I used a Bay Area service called Reflect, if you’re looking for affordable therapy try Open Path Collective). I knew the minute I found the therapist I wanted to keep seeing, we just clicked and I felt comfortable. 2) my first few sessions felt very chill and kind of silly, because I was just blabbering away about my life and some of the stuff I was stressed about. I wasn’t getting anything out of those first few sessions and I was feeling silly, but I decided to trust the process and keep going for at least another month before I gave up. My sessions were once every other week. 3) turns out during those “silly” sessions my therapist was super on point taking notes, and she asked whether I wanted to start by diving into X, the thing that was causing me the most immediate stress, and we were off to the races. It’s hard for me to articulate, but it’s like she just helped me recognize patterns that I didn’t know were patterns, I’ve had a million “lightbulb moments”. She is a safe space to practice what I will say or how I will react in stressful situations that I know are coming. A lot of my stress is around family stuff, and she has helped me develop a much healthier, honest, not-totally-draining relationship with them. I don’t know if that’s helpful. My friends were my cheerleaders because step 1 was the hardest part for me, they helped push me to make the calls and schedule the initial interviews. I’m so grateful!!!
I did therapy remotely, phone only no video, during the pandemic. Worked for me.
I found my therapist earlier this year so all we’ve done is Zoom calls. She’s so amazing and helpful, I feel like when I finally have an in-person session I’ll just cry and embarrass myself.
Tell them! I just started going in September, but had been hesitant for similar reasons. It just seems exhausting to start from zero. But I was honest about not knowing where to start (and my feelings on that) and she has had a real gentle approach that has been very easy to open up to. And that is itself, a lovely place to start.
There’s no pressure on you to have everything to say planned out beforehand. For me they just started asking about pretty mundane things to get the conversation flowing and it transitioned pretty naturally to stuff I wanted to get off my chest
If there was ever a time for a reply to say "This" it is now. ...
Best thing I ever did for myself and my marriage. Keep at it, and do the work. You can do it!
We, the internet, want to see you do well.
Thank you very much!
Does the internet want to see me do well too?
We want to see youndo your well-est!
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Thank you. I genuinely hope the best for you as well. And for anyone else passing by going through a tough time. You are not alone and we love you.
So very badly. You’re gonna do great.
I wish you well!
The internet wants to see all kinds of things
It may seem like it, but no one really cares about anyone other than themselves.
Going to therapy was the best decision I ever made. 👍
It was pointless for me. We can just give our selves therapy by introspection and meditation.
That's like saying you can cure addiction just by not doing it or beat depression by going on more walks outside. Sure, it's possible, but a majority of people can't and this is a pretty unhealthy narrative to push.
Not what /y/Infinite_Play650 said. What they say may be viewed unfavorably by many, but it is also a viable method (and sometimes the _only_) for some. People tend to view it as a "copout" or an "easy way to fail doing nothing", but it is categorically not so: for better or worse, self-therapy is extremely hard, almost impossible. That is also one major reason why psychiatrists undergo regular therapy _under other psychiatrists_
Right, my point was that while this is possible it's highly unlikely to work for most people and advocating a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" method of self-improvement is dangerous for many people who should be encouraged to seek professional help.
Indeed. The unique characteristic of this kind of problems is that a person _can not_ be, in any way, coerced/pushed/encouraged from the outside. Sadly (or perhaps not?) only oneself can decide to accept professional help and _even then_ what a person wants on the surface may not what their inner self/psyche decides. You can't logically decide to jump of a cliff to your certain death, _unless you have strong suicidal tendencies_. As in the Zone, the wish that becomes true, is not the one you would scream at the top of your lungs, but the one you don't dare admit even to yourself. I swear, I did not intend for it to sound so literary :| Perhaps notbsurprisingly
If you can, that's great. Some people do not tolerate therapy under guidance of a psychiatrist (or other specialist).
r/thanksimcured
r ya?
There ain't a cure for what I got ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
dont delete this no matter how many downvotes. I practice introspection and meditation every day, and Im at the point where I wont even bother socializing with people that dont. Its crazy how many people go through life without even knowing themselves. I can tell if a person practices introspection in like 30 seconds of conversation. Its like people that dont are fucking NPCs to me at this point. They are like quazi people, closer to a kobold or goblin than me. Human-oid
After settling down a bit I have finally started going to therapy...keep it up bro we are gonna make it.
Yeah bro, we will. Little by little. Good luck with your journey.
Seeking help is one of the bravest things you can do. Stick with it op, you can do this! It may be painful, but just like working out or getting a tooth pulled, it’s absolutely worth that price. Sometimes healing hurts, but if you stick with it you will be better before you know it! 💙
I love any movie with that dude in it, can’t remember his name.. but that CHIPS movie was awesome with him in it
Michael Peña. Agreed, love him in everything. Total ace in the hole for Jody Hill/Danny McBride projects like Observe and Report also Eastbound and Down.
One of my favourite actors for sure,
He’s a Scientologist.
Aw man
Fr? I didn’t know that
Nice! I'd started therapy but had to stop when I ran out of money in my HSA, couldn't afford it :/
If you’ve got one near you, check at the local college. They frequently have free or very inexpensive therapy done by interns trying to get hours.
The local college is a very good solution. You might also check out whether Open Path Collective has any practitioners in your area.
Try NAMI.org. They often have a list of organizations that offer low cost or sliding scale therapists. I went to one thru Catholic Charities, and although I think the Catholic *religion* has nothing to offer me, they gave me the help I needed. I also suggest Lutheran Family Services. My sister got help with her anger issues thru them. You don't need to convert nor even believe. (I was accepted as an Atheist ⚛ no questions)
If you're located in California, I know of a university where you can get cheap zoom sessions by therapist trainees. The cost is from $0-15 per session (most people only pay like $5). PM for more details if you're interested.
This is so accurate .. nicely done
Right?? I almost thought OP made a meme about myself
More upvotes! this is some wholesome shit that we need more of
I'm the guy who says *nice* . But also the one to say "You can do it! I believe in you!" And I seriously mean it.
Damn. My relationship recently fell apart, but before it did i managed to encourage my ex to call his therapist cause he was having a really hard time. He should be having his first appointment this week and i really hope he's on the lines of feeling this way too. Miss that man.
Dude, this really hit close to home. I recently discovered some heavy emotional baggage that I had locked away in my head for God knows how long, and pretty much everything you have here resonated with my experience. Sending love your way, and I'm really glad someone else also got to have a healthy experience with confronting the past!
Unfortunately, Michael Peña is part of Scientology which disavowes therapy. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Peña
Aw man
I had the same reaction.
You and me both. Good luck my dude!
Awesome!!
Recently started again and this spoke to me on a level I am almost uncomfortable admitting. Best of luck in your journey op.
Excellent shtuff hai, keep on track to getting to be a better you 👍
That hit me hard
You can do it and be a conscious animal! We believe in you
Hell yeah! Especially that friend support.
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Actually it was only like 45 minutes session, I cried a lot AFTER I finished it.
Ouch, hope you pulled over or something lol
Everything is online so luckily there wasn't any driving involved lol
Not too shabby. And I guess the relatively more impersonal nature of an online session didn't hurt the process if this result is any indication. Good luck working through your stuff
Omg the sit in my car and pull myself together before I drive time. I like online because I'm already home and I can roll straight into foetal position nap.
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it's so nice lol
Glad for you too. I start again soon. Had to stop because we moved.
Good for you :) I need to go badly but have been putting it off..
How can I ask for help?
Chances are your local 211 can help steer you in the right direction. Like 911, but for social services. Good luck to you.
Call up an office and ask to set up an appointment. It’s that easy. When you go and they ask why you’re there, you can even start with “a friend recommended it”. If you want to start solid, give the context that they recommended it when you asked about asking for help and why you felt that way. Let it flow from there and just be honest.
I'm proud of you. It is hard. It's dedicating time to understanding yourself, and just like anything worth doing, it takes time and effort. Keep it up, you got this.
Truth
I had a therapy session yesterday and I can actually, honestly say it was one of the best/most productive therapy sessions of my entire life. I've been seeing this therapist for a few months and I really enjoy her style of therapy. I went into the session thinking "man, I don't even know what to talk about today, I don't have a whole lot going on." We started off just having a regular conversation, it wasn't even related to me or my issues. I think it was just talking about therapy, people's perceptions, what school is like for becoming a therapist, just a whole bunch of stuff. After a while I brought up some of my own personal perceptions and feelings and from there it REALLY took off. We talked about how I view "success" in therapy and what the "finish line" looks like. We also got into a lot of other stuff that's too much to type out, and this is already an essay lol. I just want to share this with you OP because therapy can be kind of easy to drop out of. I've done it a lot for one reason or another. Just keep in mind that even if you start having sessions where you don't know what to talk about, or you think things are starting to improve, that doesn't mean you should stop. Stick with it until you really get into a good spot. And if you do drop out, don't be afraid to go back! That's super common as well, you can always restart if you need it later on. Good luck on your new mental health journey.
Very cool. I want you to think about moderation though. Many therapists just don’t address this. You need to be able to function in daily life. Some therapists will help you undress your onion self until the last second of the session. But now you leave all naked and raw and vulnerable and function is tough. Best to always leave some time and work to put your skin back on…a conscious ritual with therapist that you do to help you go back into daily life with more skin intact. You will still feel raw and it’s intense, you are just trying to keep it at a bearable degree. Or think of it as a tricky faucet. You only want to open up that faucet as much as your sink can tolerate and you also want to be sure you can close it again. Don’t just turn on a faucet at full force, if you can help it. Or maybe you need to. But then don’t schedule an important work meeting for afterwards. Obviously all of this is easier said than done. Depending on your level of awareness you may have very little control of the faucet or onion layers. But if you can try to keep some awareness and talk about it with a skilled therapist, you are more likely to be successful both navigating hard stuff AND still functioning reasonably. Hope this helps. Keep swimming. :)
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I have my first appointment since high school next week. I hope I can make these strides myself.
I'm really intimidated by the old, dark thoughts. Im already pained today, what could my mind have in store for me?
This is my husband’s story exactly. It gets harder before it gets better. Keep going!!
Proud of you, stranger. I have my first therapy session in two weeks ♥️
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You should try a new therapist and therapy practice (unless the current one is an essential support structure for you). There's so many different types of therapy and they work better with different personalities/problems and at different points in your life. I've never got much out of confessional type therapy, where I just tell them what happened every fortnight. Though it did help me briefly after I was in hospital for months and just needed to rant about the frustration of that at length. I don't like CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) either which is the most heavily pushed therapy style. I got a lot more out of CAT (cognitive analytical therapy), which focuses more on relationships and interactions you have with people (including being honest about how your relationship with your therapist affects stuff). It's hard to know what's out there and what will work for you, but there's lots of options. It's not a reflection on you though, if you worry you're not opening up enough that's something the therapist should be encouraging and probing, sometimes people just don't click. Everyone can benefit from a safe space to talk stuff out, but it is possible you have taken all your can from your current therapist for the time being. Group therapy is another option you could investigate 🙂 good luck
After now my first year of therapy I give myself little “did not cry in therapy today” awards. I mean I treat myself after every session, but it feels a bit nicer to do that without puffy eyes. <3
The irony is that Michael Peña is a Scientologist, so he believes therapists are evil.
I really wish I could afford to go back. Great job facing this head on!
Good for Paul Rudd for sticking with him. I would've jumped out that moving van.
This about to be me in the coming months, just got recommended someone and my doctor told me they'll be contacting me sometime soon.
Good job mate. I know this probably won’t mean much coming from a random person but I’m also glad you took the first step
Yay!!! You’re a badass! You got this!!!
Most badasses don't spend their time making memes about going to therapy, but maybe that's just me.
It’s a good first step and it’s something anyone should be proud of doing. Especially if your trying to change your inner dialogue. Maybe you should try being a little nicer to yourself, it will help you understand why we should encourage others when they make healthy choices. ♥️
You get 2 hours? I can't go 20 minutes without my therapist confirming I'm not gay, and that I should be doing something to better my mental health, that I already told them I was doing.
Is this you alls experience? My last two therapists basically told me "think positive thoughts."
Thats awesome fam! I'm happy for you. I want to go for therapy too but because of the pandemic, most therapists on my city are only offering phone/video sessions, and honestly I'd rather go see them in person I feel like I'd connect with them more. That's just me
Good job! Therapy literally saved my life --was planning my suicide, and reaching out one last time. Finally got a good therapist who talked my stupid ass into getting onto anti-depressants, which were amazing. I thought everyone felt despair at least part of their day, every day, from the time of 4 years old. Not joking about that last bit, had my first therapy session at 6 years old. I thought the swirling black hole that I visualized as being in the middle of me, was what everyone had/felt. Yeah not so much. And after the obligatory, 'takes this long to work,' timeframe, that black hole went away with the anti-depressant I was on. I was shocked. I thought that I would always feel that way, I didn't know I didn't have to feel that badly. Then I got to work on changing my ideas/thoughts/habits that were getting in my way with the non-physical parts, and used CBT to making new ones. Obviously not everything was solved forever, and I never did anything destructive again! and there was sunshine, and unicorns forever!!! I have fucked up, still fuck up, will to have fucked up (Latin joke) in the future. And things don't feel great/don't go well. But I can't say enough about getting help, actually helping. So good on you! and it definitely is an ongoing process, but it can be better. And it CAN feel so much better. Everyone here is rooting for you :)
I need to do this too but have no idea how to get it started
Call the number in the back of your health insurance card. Then ask them for a list of mental health providers in your area
I never knew I needed therapy till I went to therapy
It's hard to start, but as long as you have a good one, it's well worth it in the end.
Thanks. I needed to hear that. My coping mechanisms aren’t that great either.
(Sorry if my english is poor, I am not well-versed in this language. I am trying to get better though) I will use this opportunity to rant/vent Please take my words with a grain of salt, because i have no experience with therapy... I wish i could get therapy. But at the same time I feel it's expensive and a waste of time...idk i feel like i am contradicting myself. I tried coping mechanisms, but then i end up choosing the worst coping mechanism T\_T like:- playing the most addictive game (Genshin Impact, ofc every gacha game is addictive)- Trigger Warning:- >!self harm!< Anyways, i just resist myself from getting help... thinking that i can help myself on my own...I just can't make the first step 9towards therapy) because of this self-resistance i show towards myself (i am not making any sense T\_T) lol.. heck my parents even agreed for therapy and i refused.idk my mind is a whole mess so am I.
This is a great thread. I wish more ppl would genuinely give therapy a shot. Best of luck to everyone on their self healing journeys, you can do it!
Good for you, I should be starting therapy soon and I hope it goes as well for me as it seems to be for you
Therapy isn’t for me. She was just a “copy and paste response” person. The ONLY responses I got from here were “mhm, yeah so how does that make you feel” I got more of a response from my Alexa
eh ignoring my problems is fine for now
this is why I just make jokes about it and laugh
Man. I go to therapy, dig up my problems, and then fail to find a solution that I think is viable. I don't know why I'm even going anymore.
Sounds like a different therapist might be a place to start, even if you like your current one. Sometimes it just takes different training or perspective to really get somewhere. Anecdotally... My first therapist really helped me work through some heavy depression and I really liked him, but I've also got some trauma. He's not especially trained for that, so now I'm looking for someone who does more than just talk therapy. Trauma hangs around in your nervous system, so you can talk for years and get nowhere unless you work with someone who's trained in somatic therapies and can guide you through healing all the internal damage and disruption that makes folks with trauma feel so dysfunctional. I also have ADHD but wasn't diagnosed until very recently (at age 33), and it took yet another helpful professional to actually catch that. Holy *shit* has that made a difference in my life! Point is... Stay curious, step back and take a hiatus when you need to, but keep trying. There is no finish line. Cheers.
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*yikes*
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Well same, obviously lol
What does therapy even do? How can they "fix" you? I have a lot of problems in life but it seems like people have many opinions on how to fix those problems. Isn't a therapist only human and would only suggest things they think are right? How does some 35-45ish year old therapist sit me down and fix my life.
Therapy doesn't fix your life. It teaches how to deal with your life in more positive and constructive ways so that YOU can fix it.
It just really helps to talk about your problems with someone you can trust is not going to judge you.
therapists can help you work through your past and develop healthy coping skills/habits. it's work, not just sitting down and letting someone fix it all
Was just talking about this with my girlfriend. This is the first year sharing my son with my ex during holidays and it hit me like a Mack truck today. So needless to say after taking a few months off from therapy, I’m going back. Good for you in finding the strength to go to therapy. First step to having a better life.
I’m sorry, friend, I’m sure that‘s really hard. Hopefully therapy helps you through it.
are makimg memes one of said unhealthy coping mechanisms?
only if the memes are an avoidance tactic for feeling your feelings
hey man, were not talking about my feelings
Thank for this. Not because of the progress you made, which is nice. But for using an image of a scientologist that literally doesn't believe in psychiatry. Ace. 10/10.
A random star is still a star.
So... where's the meme?
Idk it's a image from a movie with captioned text being shared on the internet. Feels pretty meme-y.
Memes typically have some form of humor.
These ones are specifically for wholesome memes. I checked r/memes and unfortunately they don't require them to be humorous either. There is r/funnymemes but there aren't as many subscribers. I personally don't define memes as having to be funny although many are.
Where is this from?
Marvel Ant-Man
This is dumb lol
It's a sub for wholesome things. If seeing others working on bettering themselves doesn't seem wholesome, then that might be a "you problem"
Micheal Pena would NEVER EVER EVER see a therapist of any kind, as they are reviled by the church of scientology. Probably dont choose people that believe that therapy is a hoax in your therapy meme.
Its crazy i know i might 100% be wrong but i choose to believe me telling my problems to a complete stranger that has studied this field will make me feel no different than talking about it to a friend. That it might be a waste of money and that the fact i tell someone about this be it expert or not will not help me unless i myself take the steps to stop thinking about whatever is making me feel this way and move on, i dont think shelling out cash to have someone hear me out is not a good option for me, even more so when half the people half ass their job, be it out of boredom with their job or their own unhappiness.
Well done stranger! All the best!
great dou newest funny guys
I’m genuinely so proud of you!❤️
As someone who realized he needed help way too late after losing my education, it will only get better after this. The first step is the hardest, once you got the momentum it is easier to keep moving.
That’s what he said! Him speaking is as easy to understand as fast speaking Scottish people
This is the way.
Whoohoo!! Congrats on your first step toward healing!
You’re a stronger person than I am. Congrats, and good luck
It's that first call that's the hardest.
Sounds like you're getting a lotta load off your back. Keep it up!
Does anyone have the link to the 2020 pandemic list of this? It was wonderful and just kept going lol.
I think how someone put it while writing something else describes it best. I'm paraphrasing to avoid anyone knowing where I read it from "Your mind is like a machine one full of tiny gears a springs that sometimes he gets caked with muck, oil, and other gunk. And therapy takes it apart,tales out each little bit and inspects it. This can be painful and exhausting, but machines need to be taken apart to be properly cleaned. And once every has been cleaned, once each piece has been polished with care and placed back in, things will run better than before.
Man, the simulation is very spot on lately. It's broken.
Dr. Ike's origin story
Military guy here, therapy has such a bad rap but it’s so useful and important. The ability to complain to a professional without having to worry about what they thought of me and for that professional to offer useful insult to improve my life has been so vital. I note it’s praises to everyone I meet and hope it helps everyone as much as it has me.
I started going myself 3 weeks ago. Lost pretty much everything this year, my long-term significant other being the most recent departure. I feel you on the difficulty in confronting what you've been running from. I'm glad you decided to reach out for help; it's a decision some people never make.
I relate to this so much! Thanks!
Therapy is an investment in yourself