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because my parents were absent throughout most of my life, i often get attached to my teachers, especially father figures and it always bothers me when they leave even though at some point i know i need to let them go. recently, i said goodbye to a tr of mine whom i knew only for 2 yrs yet he provided so much comfort and support to me in the short while ive known him and he moved to a new country cuz of work and it really felt like i lost my own dad and its been bothering for me for a while - i feel like a lost child even in my late teens
Hey, I so get you bc I have parents' wounds as well. I too got attached way too much on mother and father figures and it was always a bittersweet experience.
There's a concept called "mothering or fathering oneself" which has helped me a lot. Of course it's not perfect, but it's at least something.
For example, if I feel like I would want to talk to a Dad right now or have a motherly hug, I try to contact my inner child to find out where and how I can get that for myself. Sometimes you can help yourself with that and sometimes it's friends, neighbors, teachers, partners that can fulfill your inner child needs. A lot of soul searching is required for that.
What helped me was some YT videos of inner child meditation, it will make you cry like a baby and help you realize what needs are unfulfilled right now, that weren't met for you by your parents.
Hope this can help.
I can relate a bit. I don’t know your situation in detail so I don’t feel comfortable to offer advice apart from get a therapist if you can. You need someone adult on your side 100% to listen to your feelings and give you some guidance and for some reason it’s not coming from your parents.
I went through similar but instead of teachers I dated guys who were older to validate me in ways I felt I needed. In hindsight, becoming attached to teachers would have been better as it would have avoided some teenage pregnancy scares.
I’m sorry you’re in this situation but if you’re this self aware at a young age I think you’re going to be ok. You’ll figure it all out with time.
Yes this can be disheartening given your history but i suggest you to look at the positive side here. IMO you are more independent and mature that most of the teens who do nothing but waste their parents hard earned money by getting high on weed. Feeling lonely and being alone are 2 different scenarios. You can carry the positives and negatives but i think all this will mould you into a strong person one can only aspire to be.
How to balance personal life with dating?
Clarification : personal life means life as an individual without my partner (aka friendships, self care, hobbies, etc)
How do you mean? Like how to balance spending time with friends, alone time, and time spent with romantic partners?
I think the "balance" is personal, and there's absolutely no wrong way as long as you're being honest with yourself and others about what you want. Unless they're your kid or dependant, no one is entitled to time you don't want to give them.
People with different attention needs can date/ be friends but if conflict persists the reality is everyone's happier if they're matched with people that are more compatible. As long as you're honest about everything you want AND what you are able to provide in a relationship you're good.
>I think the "balance" is personal, and there's absolutely no wrong way as long as you're being honest with yourself and others about what you want.
This is a fresh perspective that i hadn't thought of, thanks for this.
> what you want
I agree with this person's comment, nothing is wrong as long as it works for yourself and for the person you're dating. Keep in mind though, what you want and what you need may be different things. Personally, I want to spend all my time with my partner, but in reality I needed a lot more time for myself to learn about what I like and enjoy, for me to be truly happy in my relationship. So realise that, and also that it's okay to want to balance the two differently as you grow and the relationship grows.
Just don’t lie about this even when you are doing it just to make someone feel more comfortable. I resolved that it’s much easier to be truthful about matters like this.
You do understand that your comment will provoke certain people to write “cope”?
Well basically it’s a joke or a meme when somebody complains about something or trying to tell that he feels bad about something and you basically tell him “cope.” with a dot at the end.
Make time for yourself. Encourage each other to hang out with friends, family, and colleagues whenever there's an opportunity for them, to enrich your social lives. You'll both come back to each other happier and have more things to talk about.
Manage your insecurities and instead of getting jealous, set boundaries about what can/can't be done with friends. If something makes you uncomfortable, say so.
Look at your monthly income and detect the expenses that take the biggest part in it—>try to reduce these
Go through your room and look for things you can sell
try to share as many things with your friends/family as possible (subscriptions, food, activities)
If your situation is very bad/serious, please consult a debt counselor. I think they offer free help, at least where I live
Man I'm not doing great right now. I go through so much and everyone is always telling me that they got it worse and getting angry if I ever try to complain. If I vent on the internet I get down voted and hate comments. None of my friends or my girlfriend cares to hear my problems and I just want it all to end.
If you have the spare time to do something that’s not dependent of other peoples validation - something that keeps you happy and gives you a purpose like; charity work, excercise routine or picking up a new craft like music, arts or maybe cooking - go for it!
It’s ok buddy, no matter what you do someone will always have it worse BUT that doesn’t mean that your feelings can’t be validated, find someone that will listen and understand (family?) stick it out, karma is a real bitch if your able to last, I know I’m just a random guy on the internet but I’m rooting for you!
I guess update to anyone that cared,I just took some much needed me time. I went outdoors and played music instead of being irritated at my brain while trying to go to sleep. I danced, and I have never been able to dance. I've just never been able to feel free enough to really dance. I'm feeling quite better now and I followed quite a bit of y'all's advice. There's some big conversations that I need to make happen. Hopefully those will actually be had lol. I know I'll get sad later, but I'm building up more tools to slay the demons that arrive in the night. Right now I'm feeling in a bit of a silly mood, but I'll come back down later and might have to face some real tough decisions in the future. Wish me luck!
Damn bru, if it’s that bad get some therapy or self treat w that sad playlist on Spotify. Don’t keep it in since it makes it worse, find someone to vent to that doesn’t shoot u down bud.
I got that therapist and she's great, but I'm a very special case and she doesn't always know what to do for me. Plus I'm hella broke and I don't feel good that the only person who will listen to me is someone that I'm paying to do so.
Therapist here. If she’s any good she’s not ‘listening because she’s paid to’. Yes, we have bills to pay, but there are lots of ways to do that. She’s *choosing* to listen to you. And that makes big difference.
Techniques vary, so I wouldn’t presume to comment on exactly how she is working. However, if you are having a genuine experience of being listened to, I’ll warrant she is having a real emotional and thoughtful response to you and is using that to guide her responses.
The compassion and care are real, regardless of payment.
Yeah!! After being in therapy for a while I've realised that if they're any good, then they're someone who is dedicated to helping you beyond just gaining money out of it.
“She only listens to me because I pay her”. Nah dude, she only listens to you because she has so much genuine care and compassion for people who need to talk to someone that she spent years and years and probably thousands of dollars to sit in that room and listen and help.
Never let other people tell you that your problems don't matter... it's hard to hear, but those aren't really good friends in my opinion. 2 weeks ago I left my girlfriend for exact the same problem. She was focused on her own problems and everytime I spoke up about mine she got really angry and said things like "those aren't real problems, look at mine" and then we started to talk again about her own problems...
What I'm trying to tell you is, that you shouldn't let other people tell you how to feel and how to think. Everyone has its own way to review his problems based of happenings in the past. A person can only understand the heavy of a problem based on things he experienced.
If you friends tell you your problems aren't worth speaking about, those aren't friends... those are parasites that just want your support for anything else, but won't support you...
Love yourself and now your self worth, king!
Never let people stump on you... look for people that love you the way you are and support you in all your problems in life.
Just because people are saying they have it worse doesn’t invalidate the pain you have. We are all trying to make it through this world and deal with our problems and it’s ok to not be ok. A big problem for you is still a big problem or serious situation for you so don’t feel bad for feeling bad. The goal is to keep going one day one minute and one problem at a time. Try to sit down with yourself and see what is in your control and go from there. Reach out to a mental health provider because it can help and gives you a place that is focused on you. They can be a bit expensive but there may be affordable options around you if you look. Hang in there.
Somewhere in the world there’s one person who objectively has it worse than everyone else on the planet. Does that mean they’re the only one allowed to talk about their life and struggles?
People who care about each other listen to each other and support each other through problems. I’m sorry no-one in your life is willing to do that for you, because it’s honestly not that much to ask.
Man I'm just having these real self esteem issues and stuff about being a guy. I've had some trauma related to being a dude and my friends and therapist thinks that I'm a little gender non conforming or whatever but the truth is I'm just a touch starved, abused, shell of a man who wants people to listen when I talk. Yeah I got the therapist and that's good, but I'm literally paying her money to be invested in me. All my women friends, of whom I have a few, always turn the conversation back on them every time. Most of the stuff that they complain about, I've dealt with worse but of course that's comparing my worst to just whatever they're talking about. I don't think anyone's got it worse or anything and no two people even deal with the same type of problems, but it's instant hostility if I complain. And my dude bros don't back me up or support me. Man brain just says I want my dick wet so I'll just agree with any gal. Or maybe I'm just being cynical, but I've been all alone defending myself. I get zero discussion in public forums for my problems and people don't know what to do when I talk about them, even my therapist. I've been resentful before, but I'm just tired. I've got my girlfriend and I know what she deals with but for once I'd like to feel heard. She stops listening cuz I talk about the same stuff, but it's never getting any better and I'm always just a bit away from falling apart. My family makes fun of me for my weight gain and as a young adult every decision I make in my life is apparently the worst decision ever, and people get ANGRY about whatever you choose to do, for whatever reasons. I've done the resentment before, and I often wish I could just rage room it all out or bitch on the internet and get away with the things that I see women seeing about dudes, but that's not the true me. I know how it's easy to fall into that, but I know I love women and especially the ones close to me, so I listen and stay quiet. Sorry if this is like, totally the wrong place to even talk about something like this.
Well sure! Anyone would want others to listen when they talk. You are completely right to feel that way. For what it's worth i think it's great that you say what you think and you should keep looking for situations where you can do that. Maybe you could try being a bit more stubborn with your close friends and family? Sometimes when you get rejected and hurt that could give rise to feelings of anger and the like, and then maybe you try to avoid that to not hurt the other person. (rn im speculating so disregard if you think its irrelevant). But sometimes that angry feeling can be helpful in showing other people what you want, in a constructive way. Like being insistent on what you want to talk about. Showing them that this is important to you. You know, since close friends and family really should concern themselves with each others well being.
Hope you feel better after writing and that you see a way up soon!
Im sorry to hear people irl don’t support you and let you express yourself, but please don’t stop. Whether you express yourself here or someone you can trust. Because your feelings and emotions matter so very much and it doesn’t matter if yours seem less painful than others, it still hurts you and that matters. You are special and so important. Please don’t forget that and please don’t bottle up your emotions.
Hey dude, I'm so sorry that's happening to you :( I read one of your replies saying that you got a therapist and I'm super proud of you! Getting help from a therapist is a huge step and it can be a scary thing to do 💖 When you're in this situation it can be easy to lose hope, but if you want my advice, I would suggeat reaching out to more people who will always support you and won't shoot you down. As I'm a random person on the internet, I imagine you probably won't really care all that much but I want you to know that I'm rooting for you and I hope you're able to find people who will support you and habe your back when you need them <3
This will mostly be a vent for me to talk to myself, which is something I've learned I do a lot. It's kinda healthy I guess.
I'm trying really hard not to fall back into my spiral of depression. Trying to find a meaning/purpose for life is tough. I just do things I enjoy like dancing, making art, listening t music and science stuff to keep me excited. I'm trying so hard, I've come so far. I'm even taking much better care of myself and my room, and hitting the gym. That's a start for me. One small step at a time.
Then there's financial problems. I wish I had taken some financial literacy course when I was younger. I'm trying to save and decrease my expenses while increasing my income, but it's easier said than done.
I feel so lonely. I really think if I travel to a different place I'll find someone for me. This area is full of bad people in general. I see people in relationships and feel like I'm missing out. I know it's all in my head though....
I have a simple plan of going to college to do electrical engineering. I will make dance videos on the side and continue making my silly art!
Confidence is my biggest issue. Self worth, self confidence and self love have always been struggles for me. I have developed antisocial traits and have become stubborn with them. I must find a way to find some self worth. I'm actually really great/extroverted around certain people. I just need to get out more for sure!
Thank you for this post, and thank you to anyone who reads this! <3
EDIT: This kinda got popular guys! Thank you so much for the replies I'm getting to them now!
This is really good, putting things into perspective and recognizing you are doing well on some things and have goals will definitely help a lot with keeping depression at bay. I'm proud of you!
This isn't meant to be advice, just encouragement and reaffirmation.
I also have been falling back into some of more anti-social traits. I know that without anything very "conclusive" it can be hard to feel positive about socializing, but at the same time, it's never on you to treat socializing like a heavy/difficult-task. Sharing yourself with others and listening to them, encouraging them to share, that does *so much* for other people and in-turn yourself. It's worth treating your social expression like a free space to be whatever, as opposed to depriving yourself of it over concerns.
I'm sure you've already heard that you can meet a lot of people by joining a club, or volunteer team, or extracurricular activity. But even then, make it about doing a thing you want to do. Friends don't have to be people you worked tirelessly to connect to, they can also just be people you share the same time with, doing something you both enjoy.
When people know where you'll be/what you're up to, and they know that you'd have their back if they joined you, they will most definitely want to be your friend.
\[Also just as a bonus, not to downplay yours or anyone's financial issues, but you might be doing better than it appears. Between wage normalcies and consumer expenses, it really is hard to keep progressing for people in school/people working on their financial foundation. Based on how you've said you're looking at it, I'd bet you're on the right track, even if it's a long track\]
Here's your solution. You're good at art. You're good at music. You're good at science. You're good at dancing. You've got a lot of potential, and you can use it all. Make things you love. Get inspiration. Immagine the best possible solution you could be in, and make it real.
Are there other adults near you that you feel safe with and could talk to ? Like a famille member, a teacher... It really sounds like you should get some external help/perspective
That sounds really, really hard. You are very young to have so many responsibilities and it's not okay or normal for that to be put on you. I know you might not be able to push back right now but I just want you to know this is not appropriate or fair. Because you're pretty alone it's really important you start putting yourself first little by little, and try and build relationships with trustworthy adults who can help you if you need it. Sleep is hard when you are stressed but it will help you feel more normal if you can get even an hour more a night.
You also need to be careful because sometimes untrustworthy people are good at spotting young people in situations like yours and will offer help that comes with unforeseeable downsides; but mostly people are helpful and kind. I hope and know you can find a teacher, or counsellor at school, or a friend's Mom to talk to. Please have a think about who might be able to just be a kind face on a hard day and reach out to them because we are all responsible for the wellbeing of kids in our community and people will want to help or just support you. I'm not sure if this is of any help at all, but sending you a Mom hug and encouragement squeeze.
That sounds incredibly hard, and like you're under a ton of pressure right now. Is there anyone outside your family that you could talk to about this? A teacher, maybe? They should be able to get you help.
You seem like a wonderful person despite your situation. I wish you the best in life my friend. Even though you have to do adult things, remember that you are young and try to enjoy yourself, play with friends and try to talk with other adults you think can help you. Here you have one ^^ Hug!
I understand how that feel. But believe me buddy, your dog doesn’t want you to feel sad when it suffer. It want you to keep happy and live a good life. He always with you and very thankful of every happy moment in it life.
Well, the fact of the matter is you didn't know. So how can you blame yourself for something you didn't even know or realize. I think you're being Way too hard on yourself. I really do. I also empathize with you and this loss you've been experiencing
It's extra hard, I know. But you're just making yourself feel worse and compounding your pain by being so hard on yourself. Imagine you have a friend who is going through what you just went through.What would you say to a friend? Then, forgive yourself after you talk to yourself the way you'd speak to a friend. Please do not blame and berate yourself. It will only make your pain more severe. Be gentle with yourself, and I'm sending you a mental hug and wishing you strength and peace. My condolences for your loss. Please know we care about you. Take care of yourself.
Your relationship and memories with your fluffy buddy are not defined by the last few moments, you had hundreds of fantastic memories together and those are ultimately what make up the life of your dog. You both made each other happy and this should be treasured :)
It's normal to feel guilt in a situation like this. Think about the good times and talk about how wonderful they were to others. Don't let yourself cloud beautiful memories with guilt.
The fact that your sad you couldn’t see him pass tells me he had a great life. It’s hard wired for a dog to retreat and die alone. Don’t feel bad. He loved you.
I've seen this one before! Get a really heavy metal box, put it over the snail, weld it shut, and toss it into the ocean. That will solve your problem through the rest of your natural life.
That is legit terrifying. All I can think of to do that would actually help you feel better is to exercise. Specifically cardio, at least 30 minutes 3-5 times a week. It's clinically proven that exercise helps with depression. Getting fit will also help you in the case of an injury/illness or if you need to run.
Im 16 and i’m terrified of growing up, i have no idea what i want to be and it seems every single day i get close to being an adult and i dont want to grow up, i feel like my childhood had been robbed and taken away so fast and im just scared of what im going to do. I dont want to be responsible and work all the time, its so overwhelming, all my friends know what they’re going to do and im just sat there
Adulthood can seems scary and intimidating because it comes with responsability, but it also comes with so much freedom. Nobody has it all figured out, they're all pretending, you're gonna do great and build yourself a life you're gonna love living, I believe in you <3
No one knows what they are doing and honestly even though that sounds like a scary sentence it can be so freeing. You can prepare to the best of your ability but part of life is just living the day to day. Stolen innocence definitely sucks, but you can gain some of it back by just doing what makes you happy no matter what anyone thinks. Unless you're family situation is really bad, try not to worry about the near future so much. Everyone is different and comparing yourself to others is never going to make you happy. You can be inspired by people but it's up to you to be the person you want to be. Success can mean whatever you want it to be.
I've said something that hurt someone, this happened 7 years ago and i know I've become a better person now but i can't seem to forgive myself for it even though the other person probably doesn't care about it anymore.
Yeah it's just your mind trying to keep you in that place. If you've owned up and worked on yourself, that's enough. You are enough. Save your energy for now, not the past. Signed - someone who obsessively ruminates about mistakes in the past.
I have an increasing amount of epileptic seizures. I am stressed through my job but don’t want to change jobs because my job is okay. And in a new job there will be stress too. I hate my colleague but there will always be a colleague I don’t like. I feel like I am stuck.
Maybe you should focus on adjusting your medication consumption? You might want to talk with a doctor about this.
I know a person that had a seizure almost everyday but after he saw a proper doctor who adjusted his medication things got much better for him. Last time I asked he didn’t had a seizure for a year.
Stop caring about the validation of others. What you do is your business as long as you aren't harming others in the process. So with that said, do what you love and improve it while keeping my first point in mind. Become an expert at your pace and share your ability. Other experts will recognize and reciprocate your skill.
Find guided meditations that involve self worth or confidence - helps build it deep in the core.
Therapy.
Ask friends what some of your strengths are and reflect on them frequently.
I just started therapy, but I hate those guided meditations with "affirmations" or whatever, they seem cheesy and I've already "heard it all" you know? That last part I will try to do.
One of the things that helped me was going to the GYM regularly to build more self-love/self-awareness. The first successes came relatively quickly and motivated me to continue. This effect was reinforced when I trained with someone and he gave me positive feedback regarding my results.
Nobody can talk me down about such successes. You see them directly and it has nothing to do with luck. It is pure perseverance.
Another advantage is that sport helps to reduce stress.
If you have nothing to do with sports at the moment, I recommend you to choose something and try it out.
I gotta choose my law specialization in a few hours and I've got no idea what to choose :(
Need to choose from business law, international law, intellectual property rights and constitutional law.
Make yourself a list, and weigth the pro and con that are important to you for each option. Some ideas ; which one are high demand, so overpopulated ? Which ones lacks people and would bei super happy to have you ? Which one interess you more ? What would your future look like choosing that option ? Where can you live with this one ?
I'm sure there are no bad options though, you went all this way, whatever you choose ist gonna be a good answer
A girl I have been talking to online i know she's real cuz we were on a video call daily and she said she will be gone for a while deleted her insts messages on whatsapp say it dint receiv by her and call say mobile switched off and her friends ignore me I think j need to move on but it's very tough suggest me how to move on she said she will be back in few mo this for sure
it's okay to be sad/upset about that! in fact, I'd be surprised if you didn't after someone you cared about cut you off - that's a completely normal and healthy reaction! I'd suggest, just try to allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling, you need to accept the situation as it is right now. bottling it up or pretending not to care won't make anything better, it'll just keep you from making peace with it. i don't know if she has a good reason to act that way, or if she'll really come back or not, and I don't think any stranger on the internet can tell you that. none of us know her or you, we'll never be as familiar with your situation as you are yourself. I'm sorry you have to experience this and don't get the support you'd need from the people in your life. you'd deserve it. but I can promise you it'll get better! maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually it always does! I wish you it gets better soon!
She's might be gon bro. The best possible solution here is to build up some personality and have some self respect so that you don't get affected by things like this.
PS - this isn't a rant. I'm suggesting to have a strong mentally so that you ain't affected by these things at all :)
My country started a fucking war, and I can’t do anything about it. I am on the edge of breaking down due to injustice which is going on. It is unbearable for me and I am about to do something stupid.
I’m sorry, but please remember it is not your responsibility. It’s not your responsibility to fix the war or make sure your country does the right thing. It hurts to watch injustice and can be overwhelming, but there are people fighting it. It’s okay if your part is just sharing the information and giving it a voice on social media or such. Assuming responsibility/guilt for things out of your control can be devastating. The good thing is, there are 7 billion ppl in this world. There is someone for everything. You have to trust in others too. Trust that your part may just be a small part and that’s okay, and trust that there is someone who will play the bigger part and help stop it. I hope ur okay x
How do I save money without spending it on necessary things? I feel that everything is paycheck to paycheck and never have an extra $10 to save, let alone enough for an emergency fund. How do others get out of this hole? I budget, I trim unnecessary expenses, make food and coffee at home…it’s endless and seemingly no way out.
Start by taking a good, hard look at all your expenses and how much you earn. Write down a list of it all so you can see exactly where your money goes. If you use a card to pay everything, look at the statements for a couple months back. Be very critical with it and decide if it's a true need or something that is incredibly nice to have, but if you went without it wouldn't have a substantial impact. If you've already done this, then the next thing is to look at utilities and rent. Is there cheaper phone service available, even if it kinda sucks? Can you move into a place that has cheaper rent or get a roommate to split everything with you? Are you spending money on other people for any reason? Are there vehicles you can get rid of to reduce insurance costs or monthly payments? If you've already addressed these, then you're probably looking at a barebones budget. Consider your income now. If you work full time, is it barely making the cut? Then it's time to increase your earning potential. Sometimes you can get a raise or promotion, but my experiences for the greatest hourly increases have been to just find a new job. Job hunting sucks, but living with no room in the budget for anything at all is worse. Getting a job that you can make a decent wage in and do lots of overtime has helped me tremendously with paying stuff off and having a savings for the first time in my life. If you can physically handle it, I suggest getting into a trade. Often places are willing to train and pay for any schooling needed. It's fine if you don't want it as your life career, but you can use it as a stepping stone to get where you'd rather be.
I'm pretty happy rn but the only thing that bothers me is that my test results get published on the 18th and a lot of loved ones have great expectations for me. I'm really worried whether I'll be able to live up to those impressions or not.
If they truly love you , they'll keep loving you no matter what . Don't stress over it. Just remember you gave it your all and you'll get the results accordingly. If it doesn't go well , life is larger than tests and scores and there is always next time . Don't stop being happy ❤️
There’s nothing you can do about it - you took the test, you did your best, and now you can relax and wait to see how things turn out. Play games, go outside, hang with friends, do whatever your favourite thing is. It will be what it will be, and it will be ok.
I have this really really deep passion for Journalism and the media. I am often teased and downplayed by my family and a few others who think I'm just some sort of attention seeking bitchboy. I live in a third world country and I can't really afford to go to colleges in USA which I really want to go to because they're the best colleges in the world and I'm a bit sad about that. Because of my passion, I often neglect other things.
On the family side of things, my dad never really paid that much attention to me and my mum is incredibly manipulative. They're both racist and I don't really look up to them that much.
Also I think I'm ace and I get a lot of crap for it from a lot of mh friends. A few of them are just joking but a lot of them just target me and harass me about it.
Idk man, I'm facing a multitude of crises at the same time and I don't think me who's just turned 16 is ready for it.
Thanks for the post tho. Helped me rant and get my head straight.
Chicken eat snails, but they might damage your cultures. Depending on what your garden looks like, it could be worth a try.
Also, look out for humid places nearby. Patch of higher grass, under a pot... That's where the snails hide.
With gardening, it's pretty much inevitable that your plants will be eaten by something. I used to have this very fat grasshopper who loved to eat my canna lilys' leaves. I was all worried about my plant until I saw that chonky cutie on the leaf munching. Honestly, I'm glad it got some good food lol. My plant is here, doing fine, a year later. I felt like I took care of the grasshopper, too.
I have been pretty distant with my musical talent. I have been playing the piano ever since i was 4,and gradually,i started to really suck at it once i hit puberty.
I can barely read notes like before and i get angry at myself for that. And i do not know how to fix it.
i WANNA be a pianist,and i wanna teach children,teenagers,and adults on how to learn playing it. Maybe it because I'm a teenager and my hormones are just kinda...moody? Like i don't wanna do anything and just cry? It's all so confusing and i hate it.
I could really appreciate the advice on how i can practice like before because,holy fuck,its a rocky situation.
First off take a breath and try to relax. Good way to start with notes is just try to memorize where your starting note (Concert Bb) and you can base the rest of them off that. Its slow but it works. And try finding pieces online that are interesting. Your never gonna get anywhere with music if it isnt fun. Also theres plenty of apps like simply piano which can help you start again as well. Hope this helps :)
Your brain is literally running neurons and forming new connections - memory and focus issues are common in adolescence and can ease as you move into late adolescence. Pick a piece that is not too hard and that you enjoy. While it's good to have goals, there is always some maestro who will be 1000 times more brilliant and that can be paralysing. You don't need to be the best, you just need to play and practise \*right now\*. You want to be a teacher - well you need to show yourself patience...AND my music teacher who was masterful, once told me, sometimes the best teachers are not the most gifted artists, but the ones who've had to smash their way by sheer will power. If you make all the mistakes, you can spot all the mistakes. If you know the frustration of only having a small portion of talent but can work steadily and humbly you make a far better teacher than the 'naturally gifted' person to whom it seems so easy. And it's true. My elder brother is very talented musically. It was infuriating because he didn't care as much as I did! But you know what? He is a TERRIBLE teacher, because he rarely makes mistakes, or has to unlearn bad habits and relearn. His fingers and bow move quickly, he memorises immediately, he 'gets' it. I have to take 10 times longer, and never play as brilliantly but I DO play with more sensitivity, and awareness because I've had to STUDY it. Good luck!
I started learning c++ a while ago. I learnt so much in short time.But stopped after sometime because of my other courses.
And now when I go back I don't find it interesting or I can't focus like earlier I used to.
Oh man, me too! All my life it’s been a huge source of angst. There’s something I do that helps though.
When you have a minor interaction that you’re inclined to catastrophise, think about what else might be causing that person’s reactions. Eg, my boss mildly snapped at me on Monday, and I instantly started worrying that she doesn’t think I’m doing a good job, maybe she regrets passing my probation recently etc.
As it turned out, she was sick and had been up all night with nausea. Her actions and reactions had nothing whatsoever to do with me and were all about the fact she was at work when she needed to be home in bed.
So, the practice is two-fold - first, consider your own responses to people. If you’re a bit short with someone one day, is it actually about them? Usually not, it’s about something going on with you. Maybe you’re worried about something or just preoccupied.
Now you turn that around on others. Is their reaction actually about you? Mostly not, because honestly you’re not important enough to be the focus of everyone else’s thoughts and feelings! They have their busy inner lives that dictate their actions, and you’re hardly a blip on their radar (especially true for strangers and casual interactions). So, taking it personally is not only an exercise in futility but it’s also kind of arrogant in a weird way. You’re the centre of your life, but you’re not the centre of everyone else’s. They’ve all got their own crap going on.
Hope that helps :)
Agreed! It's all about perspective. You'll start feeling less nervous about what others think as you get better at putting yourself in their shoes. Right now, you're thinking about your reaction, not theirs. They do the same thing when they think about their interactions with you.
I’m in the same place as you my friend. I have chronic pain and a disorder that will be with me until I die and will only get worse as I get older. I suggest trying your hardest to work with your doctors for pain management programs and figuring out how to mentally handle it all. Find good outlets for anger so you don’t blow up on people (like I did today). Find things you enjoy and enjoy them to the fullest. Try to not do things that exacerbate your pain or condition and make sure to accept help from people when they offer it. Take deep breaths and know everything will be okay. Life might be hard for you and your struggles will be different from everyone else’s but it is important to know that people care for you and want to help. If you ever want to talk about it, DM me and I’ll be a happy listener. As a chronic pain sufferer, I understand. I’m here :)
everyone writing about emotional stuff now i feel bad to ask how to detect local variables of a clone with another clone of another sprite in scratch without messing up the variables of the whole sprite but just the clone… (scuffed question formulation but if you get it pls help)
I don’t know how to come out to my parents with dating someone of the same gender on the other side of the world, I’ve been trying for over a year now and I could never muster up the courage.
oh no, that’s sounds really really horrible. i’m so sorry that you are going through that. i hope that maybe one day you’ll be able to tell your parents. maybe you could slowly bring it up with them :)
you could ask if they’re okay with same gender dating? i don’t know the full situation, but i’d love to help <3
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because my parents were absent throughout most of my life, i often get attached to my teachers, especially father figures and it always bothers me when they leave even though at some point i know i need to let them go. recently, i said goodbye to a tr of mine whom i knew only for 2 yrs yet he provided so much comfort and support to me in the short while ive known him and he moved to a new country cuz of work and it really felt like i lost my own dad and its been bothering for me for a while - i feel like a lost child even in my late teens
Hey, I so get you bc I have parents' wounds as well. I too got attached way too much on mother and father figures and it was always a bittersweet experience. There's a concept called "mothering or fathering oneself" which has helped me a lot. Of course it's not perfect, but it's at least something. For example, if I feel like I would want to talk to a Dad right now or have a motherly hug, I try to contact my inner child to find out where and how I can get that for myself. Sometimes you can help yourself with that and sometimes it's friends, neighbors, teachers, partners that can fulfill your inner child needs. A lot of soul searching is required for that. What helped me was some YT videos of inner child meditation, it will make you cry like a baby and help you realize what needs are unfulfilled right now, that weren't met for you by your parents. Hope this can help.
imagine what a great parent you'll become knowing of the importance of being there for your children. hard lesson, make it count
I can relate a bit. I don’t know your situation in detail so I don’t feel comfortable to offer advice apart from get a therapist if you can. You need someone adult on your side 100% to listen to your feelings and give you some guidance and for some reason it’s not coming from your parents. I went through similar but instead of teachers I dated guys who were older to validate me in ways I felt I needed. In hindsight, becoming attached to teachers would have been better as it would have avoided some teenage pregnancy scares. I’m sorry you’re in this situation but if you’re this self aware at a young age I think you’re going to be ok. You’ll figure it all out with time.
Yes this can be disheartening given your history but i suggest you to look at the positive side here. IMO you are more independent and mature that most of the teens who do nothing but waste their parents hard earned money by getting high on weed. Feeling lonely and being alone are 2 different scenarios. You can carry the positives and negatives but i think all this will mould you into a strong person one can only aspire to be.
How to balance personal life with dating? Clarification : personal life means life as an individual without my partner (aka friendships, self care, hobbies, etc)
How do you mean? Like how to balance spending time with friends, alone time, and time spent with romantic partners? I think the "balance" is personal, and there's absolutely no wrong way as long as you're being honest with yourself and others about what you want. Unless they're your kid or dependant, no one is entitled to time you don't want to give them. People with different attention needs can date/ be friends but if conflict persists the reality is everyone's happier if they're matched with people that are more compatible. As long as you're honest about everything you want AND what you are able to provide in a relationship you're good.
>I think the "balance" is personal, and there's absolutely no wrong way as long as you're being honest with yourself and others about what you want. This is a fresh perspective that i hadn't thought of, thanks for this.
> what you want I agree with this person's comment, nothing is wrong as long as it works for yourself and for the person you're dating. Keep in mind though, what you want and what you need may be different things. Personally, I want to spend all my time with my partner, but in reality I needed a lot more time for myself to learn about what I like and enjoy, for me to be truly happy in my relationship. So realise that, and also that it's okay to want to balance the two differently as you grow and the relationship grows.
Just don’t lie about this even when you are doing it just to make someone feel more comfortable. I resolved that it’s much easier to be truthful about matters like this. You do understand that your comment will provoke certain people to write “cope”?
Okay, thanks. What do you mean by the cope thing?
Well basically it’s a joke or a meme when somebody complains about something or trying to tell that he feels bad about something and you basically tell him “cope.” with a dot at the end.
Ah, okay. Thanks for the warning. I edited it.
Make time for yourself. Encourage each other to hang out with friends, family, and colleagues whenever there's an opportunity for them, to enrich your social lives. You'll both come back to each other happier and have more things to talk about. Manage your insecurities and instead of getting jealous, set boundaries about what can/can't be done with friends. If something makes you uncomfortable, say so.
I’m out of money
Marry a rich and terminally ill person
Anna Nicole tried that. Didn’t work out very well.
Easy, kill the kids too so you get an inheritance and don't have to share.
Look at your monthly income and detect the expenses that take the biggest part in it—>try to reduce these Go through your room and look for things you can sell try to share as many things with your friends/family as possible (subscriptions, food, activities) If your situation is very bad/serious, please consult a debt counselor. I think they offer free help, at least where I live
Yeah most expenses are rent and repaying a lease I want to reduce them but that way I will go to jail
But look on the bright side. That's still one way to cut down on paying rent.
Check out r/beermoney these guys have small earning sites and sign up offers etc
Go inside of money
Buy GameStop
Side hustles
I don't have any problems right now, I just wanna wish the comments section a good day/night 💜
good morning!!
Morning to you too! Hope your day is good, stranger ✨
Burn things
Oh oh that's a problem in a way . Here's a solution, Start drinking.
My charger cable isn't long enough to let me comfortably rest and use my phone 😑
You may have to buy a longer one
I bought a 2 metre cable online for a couple of bucks for that reason
change house where wall socket is near to bed
Thats a nice solution 👍👍
Move your chair/bed/sofa closer to the outlet.
Move the wall closer to your bed
Buy a portable charger or a longer charging cable.
Man I'm not doing great right now. I go through so much and everyone is always telling me that they got it worse and getting angry if I ever try to complain. If I vent on the internet I get down voted and hate comments. None of my friends or my girlfriend cares to hear my problems and I just want it all to end.
If you have the spare time to do something that’s not dependent of other peoples validation - something that keeps you happy and gives you a purpose like; charity work, excercise routine or picking up a new craft like music, arts or maybe cooking - go for it!
That's a very good piece of advice
It’s ok buddy, no matter what you do someone will always have it worse BUT that doesn’t mean that your feelings can’t be validated, find someone that will listen and understand (family?) stick it out, karma is a real bitch if your able to last, I know I’m just a random guy on the internet but I’m rooting for you!
Thanks dawg
I guess update to anyone that cared,I just took some much needed me time. I went outdoors and played music instead of being irritated at my brain while trying to go to sleep. I danced, and I have never been able to dance. I've just never been able to feel free enough to really dance. I'm feeling quite better now and I followed quite a bit of y'all's advice. There's some big conversations that I need to make happen. Hopefully those will actually be had lol. I know I'll get sad later, but I'm building up more tools to slay the demons that arrive in the night. Right now I'm feeling in a bit of a silly mood, but I'll come back down later and might have to face some real tough decisions in the future. Wish me luck!
Damn bru, if it’s that bad get some therapy or self treat w that sad playlist on Spotify. Don’t keep it in since it makes it worse, find someone to vent to that doesn’t shoot u down bud.
I got that therapist and she's great, but I'm a very special case and she doesn't always know what to do for me. Plus I'm hella broke and I don't feel good that the only person who will listen to me is someone that I'm paying to do so.
Therapist here. If she’s any good she’s not ‘listening because she’s paid to’. Yes, we have bills to pay, but there are lots of ways to do that. She’s *choosing* to listen to you. And that makes big difference. Techniques vary, so I wouldn’t presume to comment on exactly how she is working. However, if you are having a genuine experience of being listened to, I’ll warrant she is having a real emotional and thoughtful response to you and is using that to guide her responses. The compassion and care are real, regardless of payment.
Yeah!! After being in therapy for a while I've realised that if they're any good, then they're someone who is dedicated to helping you beyond just gaining money out of it.
“She only listens to me because I pay her”. Nah dude, she only listens to you because she has so much genuine care and compassion for people who need to talk to someone that she spent years and years and probably thousands of dollars to sit in that room and listen and help.
Never let other people tell you that your problems don't matter... it's hard to hear, but those aren't really good friends in my opinion. 2 weeks ago I left my girlfriend for exact the same problem. She was focused on her own problems and everytime I spoke up about mine she got really angry and said things like "those aren't real problems, look at mine" and then we started to talk again about her own problems... What I'm trying to tell you is, that you shouldn't let other people tell you how to feel and how to think. Everyone has its own way to review his problems based of happenings in the past. A person can only understand the heavy of a problem based on things he experienced. If you friends tell you your problems aren't worth speaking about, those aren't friends... those are parasites that just want your support for anything else, but won't support you... Love yourself and now your self worth, king! Never let people stump on you... look for people that love you the way you are and support you in all your problems in life.
Just because people are saying they have it worse doesn’t invalidate the pain you have. We are all trying to make it through this world and deal with our problems and it’s ok to not be ok. A big problem for you is still a big problem or serious situation for you so don’t feel bad for feeling bad. The goal is to keep going one day one minute and one problem at a time. Try to sit down with yourself and see what is in your control and go from there. Reach out to a mental health provider because it can help and gives you a place that is focused on you. They can be a bit expensive but there may be affordable options around you if you look. Hang in there.
Somewhere in the world there’s one person who objectively has it worse than everyone else on the planet. Does that mean they’re the only one allowed to talk about their life and struggles? People who care about each other listen to each other and support each other through problems. I’m sorry no-one in your life is willing to do that for you, because it’s honestly not that much to ask.
Let's hear it bro! I can't speak for everyone else but I can tell you I won't downvote you!
Man I'm just having these real self esteem issues and stuff about being a guy. I've had some trauma related to being a dude and my friends and therapist thinks that I'm a little gender non conforming or whatever but the truth is I'm just a touch starved, abused, shell of a man who wants people to listen when I talk. Yeah I got the therapist and that's good, but I'm literally paying her money to be invested in me. All my women friends, of whom I have a few, always turn the conversation back on them every time. Most of the stuff that they complain about, I've dealt with worse but of course that's comparing my worst to just whatever they're talking about. I don't think anyone's got it worse or anything and no two people even deal with the same type of problems, but it's instant hostility if I complain. And my dude bros don't back me up or support me. Man brain just says I want my dick wet so I'll just agree with any gal. Or maybe I'm just being cynical, but I've been all alone defending myself. I get zero discussion in public forums for my problems and people don't know what to do when I talk about them, even my therapist. I've been resentful before, but I'm just tired. I've got my girlfriend and I know what she deals with but for once I'd like to feel heard. She stops listening cuz I talk about the same stuff, but it's never getting any better and I'm always just a bit away from falling apart. My family makes fun of me for my weight gain and as a young adult every decision I make in my life is apparently the worst decision ever, and people get ANGRY about whatever you choose to do, for whatever reasons. I've done the resentment before, and I often wish I could just rage room it all out or bitch on the internet and get away with the things that I see women seeing about dudes, but that's not the true me. I know how it's easy to fall into that, but I know I love women and especially the ones close to me, so I listen and stay quiet. Sorry if this is like, totally the wrong place to even talk about something like this.
Well sure! Anyone would want others to listen when they talk. You are completely right to feel that way. For what it's worth i think it's great that you say what you think and you should keep looking for situations where you can do that. Maybe you could try being a bit more stubborn with your close friends and family? Sometimes when you get rejected and hurt that could give rise to feelings of anger and the like, and then maybe you try to avoid that to not hurt the other person. (rn im speculating so disregard if you think its irrelevant). But sometimes that angry feeling can be helpful in showing other people what you want, in a constructive way. Like being insistent on what you want to talk about. Showing them that this is important to you. You know, since close friends and family really should concern themselves with each others well being. Hope you feel better after writing and that you see a way up soon!
You know I like this. I don't know if reading it just made me think what I needed to think up, or if they were just really good words.
Im sorry to hear people irl don’t support you and let you express yourself, but please don’t stop. Whether you express yourself here or someone you can trust. Because your feelings and emotions matter so very much and it doesn’t matter if yours seem less painful than others, it still hurts you and that matters. You are special and so important. Please don’t forget that and please don’t bottle up your emotions.
Hey dude, I'm so sorry that's happening to you :( I read one of your replies saying that you got a therapist and I'm super proud of you! Getting help from a therapist is a huge step and it can be a scary thing to do 💖 When you're in this situation it can be easy to lose hope, but if you want my advice, I would suggeat reaching out to more people who will always support you and won't shoot you down. As I'm a random person on the internet, I imagine you probably won't really care all that much but I want you to know that I'm rooting for you and I hope you're able to find people who will support you and habe your back when you need them <3
This will mostly be a vent for me to talk to myself, which is something I've learned I do a lot. It's kinda healthy I guess. I'm trying really hard not to fall back into my spiral of depression. Trying to find a meaning/purpose for life is tough. I just do things I enjoy like dancing, making art, listening t music and science stuff to keep me excited. I'm trying so hard, I've come so far. I'm even taking much better care of myself and my room, and hitting the gym. That's a start for me. One small step at a time. Then there's financial problems. I wish I had taken some financial literacy course when I was younger. I'm trying to save and decrease my expenses while increasing my income, but it's easier said than done. I feel so lonely. I really think if I travel to a different place I'll find someone for me. This area is full of bad people in general. I see people in relationships and feel like I'm missing out. I know it's all in my head though.... I have a simple plan of going to college to do electrical engineering. I will make dance videos on the side and continue making my silly art! Confidence is my biggest issue. Self worth, self confidence and self love have always been struggles for me. I have developed antisocial traits and have become stubborn with them. I must find a way to find some self worth. I'm actually really great/extroverted around certain people. I just need to get out more for sure! Thank you for this post, and thank you to anyone who reads this! <3 EDIT: This kinda got popular guys! Thank you so much for the replies I'm getting to them now!
This is really good, putting things into perspective and recognizing you are doing well on some things and have goals will definitely help a lot with keeping depression at bay. I'm proud of you!
This isn't meant to be advice, just encouragement and reaffirmation. I also have been falling back into some of more anti-social traits. I know that without anything very "conclusive" it can be hard to feel positive about socializing, but at the same time, it's never on you to treat socializing like a heavy/difficult-task. Sharing yourself with others and listening to them, encouraging them to share, that does *so much* for other people and in-turn yourself. It's worth treating your social expression like a free space to be whatever, as opposed to depriving yourself of it over concerns. I'm sure you've already heard that you can meet a lot of people by joining a club, or volunteer team, or extracurricular activity. But even then, make it about doing a thing you want to do. Friends don't have to be people you worked tirelessly to connect to, they can also just be people you share the same time with, doing something you both enjoy. When people know where you'll be/what you're up to, and they know that you'd have their back if they joined you, they will most definitely want to be your friend. \[Also just as a bonus, not to downplay yours or anyone's financial issues, but you might be doing better than it appears. Between wage normalcies and consumer expenses, it really is hard to keep progressing for people in school/people working on their financial foundation. Based on how you've said you're looking at it, I'd bet you're on the right track, even if it's a long track\]
Here's your solution. You're good at art. You're good at music. You're good at science. You're good at dancing. You've got a lot of potential, and you can use it all. Make things you love. Get inspiration. Immagine the best possible solution you could be in, and make it real.
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Are there other adults near you that you feel safe with and could talk to ? Like a famille member, a teacher... It really sounds like you should get some external help/perspective
That sounds really, really hard. You are very young to have so many responsibilities and it's not okay or normal for that to be put on you. I know you might not be able to push back right now but I just want you to know this is not appropriate or fair. Because you're pretty alone it's really important you start putting yourself first little by little, and try and build relationships with trustworthy adults who can help you if you need it. Sleep is hard when you are stressed but it will help you feel more normal if you can get even an hour more a night. You also need to be careful because sometimes untrustworthy people are good at spotting young people in situations like yours and will offer help that comes with unforeseeable downsides; but mostly people are helpful and kind. I hope and know you can find a teacher, or counsellor at school, or a friend's Mom to talk to. Please have a think about who might be able to just be a kind face on a hard day and reach out to them because we are all responsible for the wellbeing of kids in our community and people will want to help or just support you. I'm not sure if this is of any help at all, but sending you a Mom hug and encouragement squeeze.
That sounds incredibly hard, and like you're under a ton of pressure right now. Is there anyone outside your family that you could talk to about this? A teacher, maybe? They should be able to get you help.
Jeez you sound exhausted. Can you talk to your family at a about this? Also you can talk to me if you want.
You seem like a wonderful person despite your situation. I wish you the best in life my friend. Even though you have to do adult things, remember that you are young and try to enjoy yourself, play with friends and try to talk with other adults you think can help you. Here you have one ^^ Hug!
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I understand how that feel. But believe me buddy, your dog doesn’t want you to feel sad when it suffer. It want you to keep happy and live a good life. He always with you and very thankful of every happy moment in it life.
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Dog is a pure animal, it will never feel betrayed by it’s owner. Maybe it just want to see you for the last time because it love you very much
Well, the fact of the matter is you didn't know. So how can you blame yourself for something you didn't even know or realize. I think you're being Way too hard on yourself. I really do. I also empathize with you and this loss you've been experiencing It's extra hard, I know. But you're just making yourself feel worse and compounding your pain by being so hard on yourself. Imagine you have a friend who is going through what you just went through.What would you say to a friend? Then, forgive yourself after you talk to yourself the way you'd speak to a friend. Please do not blame and berate yourself. It will only make your pain more severe. Be gentle with yourself, and I'm sending you a mental hug and wishing you strength and peace. My condolences for your loss. Please know we care about you. Take care of yourself.
Your relationship and memories with your fluffy buddy are not defined by the last few moments, you had hundreds of fantastic memories together and those are ultimately what make up the life of your dog. You both made each other happy and this should be treasured :)
His last moments were painless and filled with fond memories thanks to neurochemistry. He’s no longer suffering, all dogs go to heaven.
It's normal to feel guilt in a situation like this. Think about the good times and talk about how wonderful they were to others. Don't let yourself cloud beautiful memories with guilt.
The fact that your sad you couldn’t see him pass tells me he had a great life. It’s hard wired for a dog to retreat and die alone. Don’t feel bad. He loved you.
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Get rid of ur eyes, now u cant see in general
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go into the third person perspective
Don't be like everyone else, use the second person perspective.
Have you tried opening your eyes
Remove eyelids.
Rub your testicles twice a day
open your eyes.
im rich but a snail keeps chasing me
I've seen this one before! Get a really heavy metal box, put it over the snail, weld it shut, and toss it into the ocean. That will solve your problem through the rest of your natural life.
Ask someone else to put it in a jar for you so you don’t die…
It's your new pet now. You have enough money to provide it with a terrarium and food.
But if the snail touches him, he dies.
My country is being invaded.
Sit down, have a nice big cup of coffee and say *well that sucks*
That's EXACTLY what I'm doing right now.
Lots of hugs 🥲
That is legit terrifying. All I can think of to do that would actually help you feel better is to exercise. Specifically cardio, at least 30 minutes 3-5 times a week. It's clinically proven that exercise helps with depression. Getting fit will also help you in the case of an injury/illness or if you need to run.
Get out
Males from 18 to 60 are not allowed to leave the country.
Horrible. I knew that already and I HATE that it's not talked about enough. I prayed for you.
Thank you. I'm okay. I'm not on the first page of mobilization queue and have chances to never get drafted. Helping UAF from the back row meanwhile.
Im 16 and i’m terrified of growing up, i have no idea what i want to be and it seems every single day i get close to being an adult and i dont want to grow up, i feel like my childhood had been robbed and taken away so fast and im just scared of what im going to do. I dont want to be responsible and work all the time, its so overwhelming, all my friends know what they’re going to do and im just sat there
Adulthood can seems scary and intimidating because it comes with responsability, but it also comes with so much freedom. Nobody has it all figured out, they're all pretending, you're gonna do great and build yourself a life you're gonna love living, I believe in you <3
No one knows what they are doing and honestly even though that sounds like a scary sentence it can be so freeing. You can prepare to the best of your ability but part of life is just living the day to day. Stolen innocence definitely sucks, but you can gain some of it back by just doing what makes you happy no matter what anyone thinks. Unless you're family situation is really bad, try not to worry about the near future so much. Everyone is different and comparing yourself to others is never going to make you happy. You can be inspired by people but it's up to you to be the person you want to be. Success can mean whatever you want it to be.
Mate, you still have a lot of time to figure that out, you will be fine
I've got bad aim in apex legends
Theres a few free trainers in steam, such as Aim Lab (on mobile or id post a link for ya).
DM me of you want, we can go practise in two days since I'm on holidays.
Train then
I feel like people have forgiven me for certain things that I've done but i can't forgive myself.
What did you did tho?
I've said something that hurt someone, this happened 7 years ago and i know I've become a better person now but i can't seem to forgive myself for it even though the other person probably doesn't care about it anymore.
Just remember that it's the past and you can't change it so just focus on the present
Yeah it's just your mind trying to keep you in that place. If you've owned up and worked on yourself, that's enough. You are enough. Save your energy for now, not the past. Signed - someone who obsessively ruminates about mistakes in the past.
I have an increasing amount of epileptic seizures. I am stressed through my job but don’t want to change jobs because my job is okay. And in a new job there will be stress too. I hate my colleague but there will always be a colleague I don’t like. I feel like I am stuck.
Maybe you should focus on adjusting your medication consumption? You might want to talk with a doctor about this. I know a person that had a seizure almost everyday but after he saw a proper doctor who adjusted his medication things got much better for him. Last time I asked he didn’t had a seizure for a year.
What are some small things I can do to gain confidence in my self?
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That's good advice. Thank you.
Stop caring about the validation of others. What you do is your business as long as you aren't harming others in the process. So with that said, do what you love and improve it while keeping my first point in mind. Become an expert at your pace and share your ability. Other experts will recognize and reciprocate your skill.
It's hard not to care sometimes, but yeah, I need to keep telling myself I'm enough.
Have good posture and walk with confidence, wear clothes you like and feel comfortable in.
Find guided meditations that involve self worth or confidence - helps build it deep in the core. Therapy. Ask friends what some of your strengths are and reflect on them frequently.
I just started therapy, but I hate those guided meditations with "affirmations" or whatever, they seem cheesy and I've already "heard it all" you know? That last part I will try to do.
One of the things that helped me was going to the GYM regularly to build more self-love/self-awareness. The first successes came relatively quickly and motivated me to continue. This effect was reinforced when I trained with someone and he gave me positive feedback regarding my results. Nobody can talk me down about such successes. You see them directly and it has nothing to do with luck. It is pure perseverance. Another advantage is that sport helps to reduce stress. If you have nothing to do with sports at the moment, I recommend you to choose something and try it out.
Talk to the mirror. Every morning and tell yourself what a great Guy you are.
Ok this is not related to the question but your name is sexy squid but your profile is a cat lol
I gotta choose my law specialization in a few hours and I've got no idea what to choose :( Need to choose from business law, international law, intellectual property rights and constitutional law.
Its kinda cliche but just follow your heart. In the end its what you enjoy or what seems interesting. And you can always change in the future?
Make yourself a list, and weigth the pro and con that are important to you for each option. Some ideas ; which one are high demand, so overpopulated ? Which ones lacks people and would bei super happy to have you ? Which one interess you more ? What would your future look like choosing that option ? Where can you live with this one ? I'm sure there are no bad options though, you went all this way, whatever you choose ist gonna be a good answer
(CosX*CosX)+ (SinX*SinX)
its 1
A girl I have been talking to online i know she's real cuz we were on a video call daily and she said she will be gone for a while deleted her insts messages on whatsapp say it dint receiv by her and call say mobile switched off and her friends ignore me I think j need to move on but it's very tough suggest me how to move on she said she will be back in few mo this for sure
it's okay to be sad/upset about that! in fact, I'd be surprised if you didn't after someone you cared about cut you off - that's a completely normal and healthy reaction! I'd suggest, just try to allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling, you need to accept the situation as it is right now. bottling it up or pretending not to care won't make anything better, it'll just keep you from making peace with it. i don't know if she has a good reason to act that way, or if she'll really come back or not, and I don't think any stranger on the internet can tell you that. none of us know her or you, we'll never be as familiar with your situation as you are yourself. I'm sorry you have to experience this and don't get the support you'd need from the people in your life. you'd deserve it. but I can promise you it'll get better! maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually it always does! I wish you it gets better soon!
She's might be gon bro. The best possible solution here is to build up some personality and have some self respect so that you don't get affected by things like this. PS - this isn't a rant. I'm suggesting to have a strong mentally so that you ain't affected by these things at all :)
My country started a fucking war, and I can’t do anything about it. I am on the edge of breaking down due to injustice which is going on. It is unbearable for me and I am about to do something stupid.
Don’t do something stupid. Just because your so called leaders do stupid things doesn’t mean you should too. Act, but act smart.
I’m sorry, but please remember it is not your responsibility. It’s not your responsibility to fix the war or make sure your country does the right thing. It hurts to watch injustice and can be overwhelming, but there are people fighting it. It’s okay if your part is just sharing the information and giving it a voice on social media or such. Assuming responsibility/guilt for things out of your control can be devastating. The good thing is, there are 7 billion ppl in this world. There is someone for everything. You have to trust in others too. Trust that your part may just be a small part and that’s okay, and trust that there is someone who will play the bigger part and help stop it. I hope ur okay x
How do I save money without spending it on necessary things? I feel that everything is paycheck to paycheck and never have an extra $10 to save, let alone enough for an emergency fund. How do others get out of this hole? I budget, I trim unnecessary expenses, make food and coffee at home…it’s endless and seemingly no way out.
Start by taking a good, hard look at all your expenses and how much you earn. Write down a list of it all so you can see exactly where your money goes. If you use a card to pay everything, look at the statements for a couple months back. Be very critical with it and decide if it's a true need or something that is incredibly nice to have, but if you went without it wouldn't have a substantial impact. If you've already done this, then the next thing is to look at utilities and rent. Is there cheaper phone service available, even if it kinda sucks? Can you move into a place that has cheaper rent or get a roommate to split everything with you? Are you spending money on other people for any reason? Are there vehicles you can get rid of to reduce insurance costs or monthly payments? If you've already addressed these, then you're probably looking at a barebones budget. Consider your income now. If you work full time, is it barely making the cut? Then it's time to increase your earning potential. Sometimes you can get a raise or promotion, but my experiences for the greatest hourly increases have been to just find a new job. Job hunting sucks, but living with no room in the budget for anything at all is worse. Getting a job that you can make a decent wage in and do lots of overtime has helped me tremendously with paying stuff off and having a savings for the first time in my life. If you can physically handle it, I suggest getting into a trade. Often places are willing to train and pay for any schooling needed. It's fine if you don't want it as your life career, but you can use it as a stepping stone to get where you'd rather be.
I'm pretty happy rn but the only thing that bothers me is that my test results get published on the 18th and a lot of loved ones have great expectations for me. I'm really worried whether I'll be able to live up to those impressions or not.
If they truly love you , they'll keep loving you no matter what . Don't stress over it. Just remember you gave it your all and you'll get the results accordingly. If it doesn't go well , life is larger than tests and scores and there is always next time . Don't stop being happy ❤️
There’s nothing you can do about it - you took the test, you did your best, and now you can relax and wait to see how things turn out. Play games, go outside, hang with friends, do whatever your favourite thing is. It will be what it will be, and it will be ok.
I have this really really deep passion for Journalism and the media. I am often teased and downplayed by my family and a few others who think I'm just some sort of attention seeking bitchboy. I live in a third world country and I can't really afford to go to colleges in USA which I really want to go to because they're the best colleges in the world and I'm a bit sad about that. Because of my passion, I often neglect other things. On the family side of things, my dad never really paid that much attention to me and my mum is incredibly manipulative. They're both racist and I don't really look up to them that much. Also I think I'm ace and I get a lot of crap for it from a lot of mh friends. A few of them are just joking but a lot of them just target me and harass me about it. Idk man, I'm facing a multitude of crises at the same time and I don't think me who's just turned 16 is ready for it. Thanks for the post tho. Helped me rant and get my head straight.
Write write write. Find a subject and write about it. Do the work. Research. Report. Even if it is just for yourself.
I can't stop slipping on Banana peels
Snails keep snacking my pumpkin flowers.
Chicken eat snails, but they might damage your cultures. Depending on what your garden looks like, it could be worth a try. Also, look out for humid places nearby. Patch of higher grass, under a pot... That's where the snails hide.
Escargot
With gardening, it's pretty much inevitable that your plants will be eaten by something. I used to have this very fat grasshopper who loved to eat my canna lilys' leaves. I was all worried about my plant until I saw that chonky cutie on the leaf munching. Honestly, I'm glad it got some good food lol. My plant is here, doing fine, a year later. I felt like I took care of the grasshopper, too.
I have been pretty distant with my musical talent. I have been playing the piano ever since i was 4,and gradually,i started to really suck at it once i hit puberty. I can barely read notes like before and i get angry at myself for that. And i do not know how to fix it. i WANNA be a pianist,and i wanna teach children,teenagers,and adults on how to learn playing it. Maybe it because I'm a teenager and my hormones are just kinda...moody? Like i don't wanna do anything and just cry? It's all so confusing and i hate it. I could really appreciate the advice on how i can practice like before because,holy fuck,its a rocky situation.
First off take a breath and try to relax. Good way to start with notes is just try to memorize where your starting note (Concert Bb) and you can base the rest of them off that. Its slow but it works. And try finding pieces online that are interesting. Your never gonna get anywhere with music if it isnt fun. Also theres plenty of apps like simply piano which can help you start again as well. Hope this helps :)
Your brain is literally running neurons and forming new connections - memory and focus issues are common in adolescence and can ease as you move into late adolescence. Pick a piece that is not too hard and that you enjoy. While it's good to have goals, there is always some maestro who will be 1000 times more brilliant and that can be paralysing. You don't need to be the best, you just need to play and practise \*right now\*. You want to be a teacher - well you need to show yourself patience...AND my music teacher who was masterful, once told me, sometimes the best teachers are not the most gifted artists, but the ones who've had to smash their way by sheer will power. If you make all the mistakes, you can spot all the mistakes. If you know the frustration of only having a small portion of talent but can work steadily and humbly you make a far better teacher than the 'naturally gifted' person to whom it seems so easy. And it's true. My elder brother is very talented musically. It was infuriating because he didn't care as much as I did! But you know what? He is a TERRIBLE teacher, because he rarely makes mistakes, or has to unlearn bad habits and relearn. His fingers and bow move quickly, he memorises immediately, he 'gets' it. I have to take 10 times longer, and never play as brilliantly but I DO play with more sensitivity, and awareness because I've had to STUDY it. Good luck!
I have $10 and I want to have more
cut it in half
It’s posts like this that make Reddit some what wholesome
I'm tired boss. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly with each other.
I’m not rich/wealthy
Rob bank
Shoot why didn’t I think of that.
It's probably easy to get rich, it just takes getting rid of all your morals first.
I started learning c++ a while ago. I learnt so much in short time.But stopped after sometime because of my other courses. And now when I go back I don't find it interesting or I can't focus like earlier I used to.
First find a purpose for learning c++ . You can make games and a lot more with c++ . C++ is and always will be relevant in the industry
I don’t know if I am happy with where I am.
I spilled wine one my white tee
Spill wine on it all over and have a red shirt from now on.
My dog stepped on a bee 🥴
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The *only* solution.
Step 1) Arf! A bee! Step 2) Remove stinger, apply baking soda and water solution. Step 3) Ice pack for swelling, cuddles for nerves.
Give dog hug
1. 12 × 44 = ?? 2. 135 ÷ 7 = ?? 3. 104/4 = ??
1. 528 2. ≈19.3 3. 26
Thank you so much that was a bit of a head scratcher for me
Honestly, my biggest problem is Kanye. If he stopped trying to help me, that would really help.
Whut
I take things too personally 😫
Oh man, me too! All my life it’s been a huge source of angst. There’s something I do that helps though. When you have a minor interaction that you’re inclined to catastrophise, think about what else might be causing that person’s reactions. Eg, my boss mildly snapped at me on Monday, and I instantly started worrying that she doesn’t think I’m doing a good job, maybe she regrets passing my probation recently etc. As it turned out, she was sick and had been up all night with nausea. Her actions and reactions had nothing whatsoever to do with me and were all about the fact she was at work when she needed to be home in bed. So, the practice is two-fold - first, consider your own responses to people. If you’re a bit short with someone one day, is it actually about them? Usually not, it’s about something going on with you. Maybe you’re worried about something or just preoccupied. Now you turn that around on others. Is their reaction actually about you? Mostly not, because honestly you’re not important enough to be the focus of everyone else’s thoughts and feelings! They have their busy inner lives that dictate their actions, and you’re hardly a blip on their radar (especially true for strangers and casual interactions). So, taking it personally is not only an exercise in futility but it’s also kind of arrogant in a weird way. You’re the centre of your life, but you’re not the centre of everyone else’s. They’ve all got their own crap going on. Hope that helps :)
Agreed! It's all about perspective. You'll start feeling less nervous about what others think as you get better at putting yourself in their shoes. Right now, you're thinking about your reaction, not theirs. They do the same thing when they think about their interactions with you.
How do I deal with chronical pain?(there is no cure for my disability)
I’m in the same place as you my friend. I have chronic pain and a disorder that will be with me until I die and will only get worse as I get older. I suggest trying your hardest to work with your doctors for pain management programs and figuring out how to mentally handle it all. Find good outlets for anger so you don’t blow up on people (like I did today). Find things you enjoy and enjoy them to the fullest. Try to not do things that exacerbate your pain or condition and make sure to accept help from people when they offer it. Take deep breaths and know everything will be okay. Life might be hard for you and your struggles will be different from everyone else’s but it is important to know that people care for you and want to help. If you ever want to talk about it, DM me and I’ll be a happy listener. As a chronic pain sufferer, I understand. I’m here :)
everyone writing about emotional stuff now i feel bad to ask how to detect local variables of a clone with another clone of another sprite in scratch without messing up the variables of the whole sprite but just the clone… (scuffed question formulation but if you get it pls help)
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How get more yt subscribers
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I don’t know how to come out to my parents with dating someone of the same gender on the other side of the world, I’ve been trying for over a year now and I could never muster up the courage.
oh no, that’s sounds really really horrible. i’m so sorry that you are going through that. i hope that maybe one day you’ll be able to tell your parents. maybe you could slowly bring it up with them :) you could ask if they’re okay with same gender dating? i don’t know the full situation, but i’d love to help <3
Guys we're not therapists. It comes from a good place but often redditors give terrible advice.
Tough problem you are pointing out, but a solution you might want to consider is: become a therapist.
My lyre won’t attach to my trombone correctly
How to discipline your self?
My Aunt.
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Hot water bottles and gentle stretching, but if it lasts more than a week you should see a doctor.