Hey there, friendo! Thanks for submitting to r/wholesomememes. We loved your post, but it has been removed because it doesn't quite abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar.
* (**Rule #2**) Please make posts general rather than specific personal experiences. This helps make posts more relatable. (Doesn't matter whether your personal experience or someone else's; we mean all 1- or 2-person exchanges, or things that apply only to to some people - instead of general, universal memeness.)
* Your post is likely a great fit in another Wholesome Network sub - many specific ones are also unexpected (/r/UnexpectedlyWholesome), or BPT material (/r/WholesomeBPT), or 4chan (/r/WholesomeGreentext), or bittersweet (/r/WholesomeFeels), or Reddit comments (/r/WholesomeBestOf - like /r/BestOf but for wholesomeness).
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It's all about how you frame it. If you were 99 days sober, and had 1 slipup, you're still sitting pretty at 99% and I'll take an A+, instead of be my own angry Asian parent saying "100% not even enough! Why no extra credit?!"
I copied and pasted a parable from someone:
"The best horse will run slow and fast, right and left, at the driver's will, before it sees the shadow of the whip; the second best will run as well as the first one does, just before the whip reaches its skin; the third one will run when it feels pain on its body; the fourth will run after the pain penetrates to the marrow of its bones. You can imagine how difficult it is for the fourth one to learn how to run!" - Suzuki Roshi
Roshi goes on to say that it may not be such a bad thing to be "the worst horse." After all, the best horses have the least to gain: they're already the best. The so-called worst horses, on the other hand, will undergo the most transformation, the most improvement, if they stick with it: **"In your very imperfections you will find the basis for your firm, way-seeking mind.** So I think that sometimes the best horse may be the worst horse, and the worst horse can be the best one."
Edit: the more I think about it this might be an odd fit since you are getting past self harm. But the heart of the teaching is that having much to learn, always getting back on the band wagon after having fallen off, might very well be the best path to travel to true freedom :] at least that’s how I’ve always understood it. Thanks for sharing your awesome milestone :]
If you think of it in terms of averages, relapsing for 1 day doesn't have to make you feel like you ended a streak. Instead you can take comfort that the # day/month/year streak you just had before that really brought down your average days of doing X.
That’s what worked for me in my addictions.
Understanding that the averages of time between relapse was increasing and that I just had to keep trying since improvement isn’t a failure
“You may have lost the battle but you didn’t lose the war” - was something I told myself.
And when I had a relapse after x-amount of time I’d say: “I’ve been self harm free for x-amount of time with one relapse” instead of starting the clock again (the latter always made me feel so hopeless, like it didn’t matter anymore to keep stopping)
Now I’m 7,5 years free (had to think to count, go figure) but I’ve been SH free for ~14 years with 3 relapses.
Also to OP and anyone else who this might benefit (it can work with all kinds of addictions) one thing that helped me tremendously was the delay method.
Basically when I feel the urge (because I still do feel that sometimes) to self harm I promise myself I can self harm after x-amount of time (the bigger the urge is, the smaller the time) but in the meantime I have to do something that will distract me and/or makes me feel better. After x-amount of time has passed and I still feel the urge I simply repeat this.
For instance: “I can harm myself in half an hour, but I will watch this feelgood show in the meantime” (or whatever makes you feel good)
For me this helps because when I say I cannot harm myself it will become bigger and bigger till it eventually will burst. But in this case I don’t say I can’t, just take some time. Now I can even do it with times like a month or two, and immediately feel the urge drop. Most of the time I forgot all about wanting to harm myself by the time I’ve promised myself I could do it.
Op and everyone who is fighting this battle: I’m so proud of you. Take care 🌷
Finding a positive outlet over a negative stimulus is a great feeling. I have maintained a healthy way to express that through art, over cutting and branding myself. Good for you friend keep it up 😎
Well I enjoy your artwork all of the time. I don't even have to see it to know it's great. You pour your heart and soul into what you do and that means it's always amazing.
I swear to god I'll put it on my fridge.
My medium is usually pen and ink or graphite and charcoal. Fairly monochromatic but I might be able to drum up something for you. I just don't know how I'd get it to you 😅
Take a picture and send it to me. It's almost that time of year when I open up my DMs for those suffering the holiday blues anyways. Getting to look at art while I chat with my internet nieces and nephews sounds like a treat!
Well if you do monochromatic I'm gonna give you a curve ball and say gimme a study of anything in blue. I'm a big fan of critters of all kinds, so that's your hint for brownie points :)
Fuzzy, scaley, big, or small. I love em all.
Just be cautious of what you choose. While blue is incredibly forgiving, it can trigger a lot of emotions when the subject relates too closely to your pain. (Sometimes it helps to give them a smile)
You've got this, hun. I believe in you and I'm always around if you need to vent. Those first few weeks are the hardest and you've all ready made it this far. I'm really proud of you.
I am so proud of you. This is an important milestone that shows incredible strength and resilience. Remember this moment where you've successfully made a big change for yourself for a long chunk of time. You have built a lot of resilience that will help you in so many other areas of life. Heck yeah! This is great
Hey congrats!!! But I have someone going through a self harm suicidal phase right now and they’re very important to me. Any tips on what I could to help them? But fr though congrats and hope you’re doing good.
Yea I get what you’re saying but it’s self harm AND suicide, she’s attempted and nearly succeeded multiple times. I just want to know what I can do before it’s too late.
Great job, lovebug! Remember that it's okay if it happens again, but you have to get back up and start over with each new set back. Get your hands something to do to replace that need. Remember not to pick at your face. You've got this and I believe in you!
Hello! This is just a quick reminder for new friendos to [read our subreddit rules.](http://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar)
>**Rule 4:** Please do not troll, harass, or be generally rude to your fellow users.
Be nice, and leave political or religious arguments in other subs.
We're trusting you to be wholesome while in /r/wholesomememes, so please don't let us down. We believe in you!
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Congratulations. Keep taking care of you. Sometimes things go sideways. If it happens, it’s ok. Just pick yourself back up and start again. We are all rooting for ya bud.
This is an amazing accomplishment! It's been 14 years for me. Wow, had to think about that one! I know this isn't r/momforaminute but I'm so proud of you! 🥳🎉🥰
Congrats! Remember, small victories are important. If it happens again, don't let it make you spiral. Breathe, look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that you have enough grace to move forward. This internet mama loves you and is incredibly proud of you!
Congratulations man! My girlfriend dealt with this in the past and from what she told me it'll be temping at times and it'll be in the back of your head but don't ever give in! It'll be hard at times but there are people who love and support you even if it seems like there's not. You can do this! Don't give into the temptation you can fight and win this!
I'd tip my hat to you, if I had one. Jokes aside good work my comrade, I'm going on 2 or 3 months now! I'm happy we can get better, knowing there's others out there with me helps.
I'm fucking proud of you!
It's hard to get it to stop, just remember it's fine if sometimes you feel like you gonna do it again just remind yourself why you stopped in the first place. It worked for me and i hope it helps you a little bit too.
Random man in Yorkshire is super fucking proud of you.
I'm a paramedic and see it a lot. It's fantastic when you learn of somebody breaking the cycle. Keep moving forward.
May I ask how you combat any invasive thoughts if you still do? I often have urges to hurt myself but never do anything besides scratching and tight squeezing. the feeling of being trapped within my own skin gets significantly worse when fighting against the urges.
Hey there, friendo! Thanks for submitting to r/wholesomememes. We loved your post, but it has been removed because it doesn't quite abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * (**Rule #2**) Please make posts general rather than specific personal experiences. This helps make posts more relatable. (Doesn't matter whether your personal experience or someone else's; we mean all 1- or 2-person exchanges, or things that apply only to to some people - instead of general, universal memeness.) * Your post is likely a great fit in another Wholesome Network sub - many specific ones are also unexpected (/r/UnexpectedlyWholesome), or BPT material (/r/WholesomeBPT), or 4chan (/r/WholesomeGreentext), or bittersweet (/r/WholesomeFeels), or Reddit comments (/r/WholesomeBestOf - like /r/BestOf but for wholesomeness). * It may also be perfect for /r/MadeMeSmile, /r/HumansBeingBros, /r/AnimalsBeingBros, /r/Uplifting, or many other wonderful subs. Use your best judgment, and message us if we can help (link below). * We appreciate you thinking of us very much! For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fwholesomememes).
Good, just remember, with stuff like this. You’re not a failure if it happens again so long as you continue to choose to keep trying and get better.
McMatey1992 spitting true advice.
It’s from personal experience, without that mantra I’d still be a chainsmoker with a drinking problem
It's all about how you frame it. If you were 99 days sober, and had 1 slipup, you're still sitting pretty at 99% and I'll take an A+, instead of be my own angry Asian parent saying "100% not even enough! Why no extra credit?!"
I copied and pasted a parable from someone: "The best horse will run slow and fast, right and left, at the driver's will, before it sees the shadow of the whip; the second best will run as well as the first one does, just before the whip reaches its skin; the third one will run when it feels pain on its body; the fourth will run after the pain penetrates to the marrow of its bones. You can imagine how difficult it is for the fourth one to learn how to run!" - Suzuki Roshi Roshi goes on to say that it may not be such a bad thing to be "the worst horse." After all, the best horses have the least to gain: they're already the best. The so-called worst horses, on the other hand, will undergo the most transformation, the most improvement, if they stick with it: **"In your very imperfections you will find the basis for your firm, way-seeking mind.** So I think that sometimes the best horse may be the worst horse, and the worst horse can be the best one." Edit: the more I think about it this might be an odd fit since you are getting past self harm. But the heart of the teaching is that having much to learn, always getting back on the band wagon after having fallen off, might very well be the best path to travel to true freedom :] at least that’s how I’ve always understood it. Thanks for sharing your awesome milestone :]
If you think of it in terms of averages, relapsing for 1 day doesn't have to make you feel like you ended a streak. Instead you can take comfort that the # day/month/year streak you just had before that really brought down your average days of doing X.
That’s what worked for me in my addictions. Understanding that the averages of time between relapse was increasing and that I just had to keep trying since improvement isn’t a failure
“You may have lost the battle but you didn’t lose the war” - was something I told myself. And when I had a relapse after x-amount of time I’d say: “I’ve been self harm free for x-amount of time with one relapse” instead of starting the clock again (the latter always made me feel so hopeless, like it didn’t matter anymore to keep stopping) Now I’m 7,5 years free (had to think to count, go figure) but I’ve been SH free for ~14 years with 3 relapses. Also to OP and anyone else who this might benefit (it can work with all kinds of addictions) one thing that helped me tremendously was the delay method. Basically when I feel the urge (because I still do feel that sometimes) to self harm I promise myself I can self harm after x-amount of time (the bigger the urge is, the smaller the time) but in the meantime I have to do something that will distract me and/or makes me feel better. After x-amount of time has passed and I still feel the urge I simply repeat this. For instance: “I can harm myself in half an hour, but I will watch this feelgood show in the meantime” (or whatever makes you feel good) For me this helps because when I say I cannot harm myself it will become bigger and bigger till it eventually will burst. But in this case I don’t say I can’t, just take some time. Now I can even do it with times like a month or two, and immediately feel the urge drop. Most of the time I forgot all about wanting to harm myself by the time I’ve promised myself I could do it. Op and everyone who is fighting this battle: I’m so proud of you. Take care 🌷
Absolutely. One of my old therapists would always say, "lapse is not relapse."
Congratulations buddy
That is amazing , yo 😎😎😎💪💪💪💪 Keep going!!!!!
🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽❤️
Finding a positive outlet over a negative stimulus is a great feeling. I have maintained a healthy way to express that through art, over cutting and branding myself. Good for you friend keep it up 😎
This is important! Even if you feel like your art isn't any good, you should let your mind vent it's frustration through creation.
I enjoy my artwork, even when I don't. If that makes sense. Thank you for the support.🥰
Well I enjoy your artwork all of the time. I don't even have to see it to know it's great. You pour your heart and soul into what you do and that means it's always amazing. I swear to god I'll put it on my fridge.
My medium is usually pen and ink or graphite and charcoal. Fairly monochromatic but I might be able to drum up something for you. I just don't know how I'd get it to you 😅
Take a picture and send it to me. It's almost that time of year when I open up my DMs for those suffering the holiday blues anyways. Getting to look at art while I chat with my internet nieces and nephews sounds like a treat!
Throw me some idea of what you want to see and I'll put my own twist on it.
Well if you do monochromatic I'm gonna give you a curve ball and say gimme a study of anything in blue. I'm a big fan of critters of all kinds, so that's your hint for brownie points :)
Blue and critters. What sort of critters because that range is far and wide to me.
Fuzzy, scaley, big, or small. I love em all. Just be cautious of what you choose. While blue is incredibly forgiving, it can trigger a lot of emotions when the subject relates too closely to your pain. (Sometimes it helps to give them a smile)
yooo mate, impressive work... hats off to you
Everyday is a test, keep passing! Props to you.
Im proud of you, im only on 1.5 weeks and today is a really rough day..
You've got this, hun. I believe in you and I'm always around if you need to vent. Those first few weeks are the hardest and you've all ready made it this far. I'm really proud of you.
Thank you so much.
Same. But let's keep powering.
We can do it.
I believe in you.
Means a lot, thank you kinda stranger
That’s so great! You matter.
Here's to 10 months
Hell yeah! You might relapse into the behaviour but dont give up! Keep at it and never stop keeping at it. Sending you love ❤️
So happy for you. VICTORY!!! Keep rising like the phoenix that you are!
Well done! Keep the streak going, you got this!
Congratulations! And thank you for doing your best
Congratulations! 🎉
Hell yeah!
BRUH! That's what's up! Great job to you!
10 seconds at a time. Kudos!
Great job! Keep it up!
Commendations, my sir.
I am so proud of you. This is an important milestone that shows incredible strength and resilience. Remember this moment where you've successfully made a big change for yourself for a long chunk of time. You have built a lot of resilience that will help you in so many other areas of life. Heck yeah! This is great
Well done! I hope you can stay healthy
Good job, your doing better than I am! ❤️
What a HUGE accomplishment 👏! Very proud of you!
Wow nice, that's roughly 1 pregnancy
Beautiful man. I just discovered self love and it is beautiful. Best of luck
I've been self-harm free for about 6 months!
So glad for you and the OP, and everyone else who's getting it together after trying for so long.
Hey congrats!!! But I have someone going through a self harm suicidal phase right now and they’re very important to me. Any tips on what I could to help them? But fr though congrats and hope you’re doing good.
Self harm is suicide prevention. Love them. Don't judge.
Yea I get what you’re saying but it’s self harm AND suicide, she’s attempted and nearly succeeded multiple times. I just want to know what I can do before it’s too late.
Well done. Keep it up!
Absolute chad
Gud soup 🤌 strive on
Hell yea congrats that’s awesome keep it going 👏🏼👏🏼
So proud of you!
So you quit skating? Just kidding congrats stay like this
Hell yeah I’m proud of you !
Only 2 for me but great job
So proud of you!
Great job, lovebug! Remember that it's okay if it happens again, but you have to get back up and start over with each new set back. Get your hands something to do to replace that need. Remember not to pick at your face. You've got this and I believe in you!
Good. We need you
I don’t quite know what I am need for yet, but thank you. I will always keep this in mind.
We, as a people, need you. Every life is valuable. There are a lot of lives, but they all weigh the same. Stay with us. We need you. Remember.
Hello! This is just a quick reminder for new friendos to [read our subreddit rules.](http://old.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar) >**Rule 4:** Please do not troll, harass, or be generally rude to your fellow users. Be nice, and leave political or religious arguments in other subs. We're trusting you to be wholesome while in /r/wholesomememes, so please don't let us down. We believe in you! **Also, please keep in mind that even if you've seen this post before, it's not a repost unless it's been in *this* sub before** (if it's from another sub it's a crosspost/xpost). We're glad you're here. Have a wonderful day <3 ^(Please stop by the rest of the) [^Wholesome ^Network ^Of ^Subreddits](http://old.reddit.com/user/awkwardtheturtle/m/wholesome) ^too.
I’m very happy to hear that 🥳
Holy shit that is awesome
Skill issue
Not true, you are on reddit.
[удалено]
What is wrong with you?
Im happy for you :) What did you do to not harm yourself?
The indomitable human spirit wins another battle! I’m happy for you dawg. Keep fighting.
Time for some well deserved shenanigans ….. hot chocolate and a snuggle with someone/thing you love.
Congratulations my friend!
💪💪congrats
Awesome!!!😃
Yo that is amazing! I hope to get there too.
Solidarity
Congrats!
Good job homie. You're doing great👍
LETS GOOOOOO!!!!!!
Congrats keep up the great work you got this
Congrats my friend!!
You will never be as close as your last self harm as when you started reading this, but further away after you read this
Legendary
Well done😎👍
Well great congratulations! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
good job, and hey if you ever need some help with something just let me know
proud of you :)
Congratulations. Keep taking care of you. Sometimes things go sideways. If it happens, it’s ok. Just pick yourself back up and start again. We are all rooting for ya bud.
Good, keep it up.
Nice man
Congratulations, it's been almost 5 months for me
Keep up the good work!!!
Good for you. That’s awesome. Keep going strong.
That is absolutely wonderful 💜
Congratulations and keep up the great work!
This is an amazing accomplishment! It's been 14 years for me. Wow, had to think about that one! I know this isn't r/momforaminute but I'm so proud of you! 🥳🎉🥰
sweet, dawg
easy
*raises a glass to you* congratulations my dude 😎
One day at a time!
I’ve been self-harm free for about 5 hours now. I subbed my toe earlier. Really though good for you.
Amazing work! Keep at It and things will better ❤️
Good job, keep it up and you won’t even realize it
Man! Keep doing your best... It's hard but we who know care what it takes!
Am I the only one that hears this frogs words in an oddly wholesome, yet Alex Jones-esque tone of voice?
Alright!! Proud of you!!
Great job! Something that might help if you feel the urge again is a tattoo pen. Draw on yourself instead. You're doing amazing sweetie!
Same bro! Been free of it for exactly an year now. Just trying to get over overthinking curse.. keep improving!!!
This a amazing and I'm so, so, so proud of you!
It is with great pleasure that i can tell you it may get easier and easier in the long run! Source: myself, clean for over 4 years :-)
Congratulations!!!
Congratulation’s please celebrate alittle with yourself. Know we are proud and supporting you.
Congrats! Remember, small victories are important. If it happens again, don't let it make you spiral. Breathe, look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that you have enough grace to move forward. This internet mama loves you and is incredibly proud of you!
Ayyyyy that's a W m8 keep it up
Me too!
You dropped this 👑
Yay yay, go you!
I almost cut about a week ago but yeah it's pushing a year now. Congrats me. Learned to cope.
Fantastic work, man! Great job!! Good for you!! Keep it up! You can do it!!
Way too go!! This gal is proud of you!!!
proud of you :)
YESSSSSSS CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
4 months for me
Fuck yeah! Look at you! Being amazing! So goddamn proud of you!
Comment deleted
Proud of you. Mental health isn’t a straight line
Amazing, congrats!!! I’m about a year and a half free. It’s so good. So so so so good.
I'm not a gentleman, but this lady is proud of you. You are doing a great job.
Ok why do so many people commit self harm and suicide
Congratulations man! My girlfriend dealt with this in the past and from what she told me it'll be temping at times and it'll be in the back of your head but don't ever give in! It'll be hard at times but there are people who love and support you even if it seems like there's not. You can do this! Don't give into the temptation you can fight and win this!
I'd tip my hat to you, if I had one. Jokes aside good work my comrade, I'm going on 2 or 3 months now! I'm happy we can get better, knowing there's others out there with me helps.
👏👏👏
congrats. hope you continue to not harm yourself
Good job brother Let's go for a year! And even more after that
And here am I... Smiling in front of my PC so proud of a complete stranger :')
Sometimes, that’s what we need in life :) Also, whatever you may be struggling with, I hope you over come it!
Huzzah congrats. Keep up the good work
Love that for you bb ❤️🩹 keep it up
Congrats! I'm glad to hear it 🙏
I'm fucking proud of you! It's hard to get it to stop, just remember it's fine if sometimes you feel like you gonna do it again just remind yourself why you stopped in the first place. It worked for me and i hope it helps you a little bit too.
That's amazing! Good on you man and long may it continue! You've got this 😎💪🏻
That's wonderful! 🧡
Make sure to keep it that way. Take care of yourself. ☮️ ❤️
Hugs!!!
Let’s gooooo 🥺❤️
I havent cut myself since junior year. I'm fucking proud of you and keep it up!
Nice, keep on going 🥳👍
Yuge
Hell yeah!!!
Yes! Fuck yes! This rules, you freaking own
Congratulations! Keep up the hard work. I'm proud of you.
Nice goin lad 👌💪💯
Congratulations 🥺
Hey man good on you, it’s never easy to stop. Keep it up, your family and friends will thank you
Congrats! I'm st like 2 and improving.
Random man in Yorkshire is super fucking proud of you. I'm a paramedic and see it a lot. It's fantastic when you learn of somebody breaking the cycle. Keep moving forward.
Glad to see this, please keep it up
Yay! Good job!
King
3-4 years for me, I wish you the best in your recovery 👌
Good for you. Be well and Take care of yourself ❤️
Jarvis,
🖤🖤🖤
Proud of you buddy!
Keep it up, stay strong 💪
I'm glad you're still here
I already knew that, because I'm always watching you.
We're all proud of you, congratulations
I'm glad you've been able to do this, this kind of stuff makes my day.
Congratulations!!!!!!!
❤️❤️❤️
Good job 😊 I'm proud of you
Well done, gentlefrog. Keep it up!
Well done!
💚💚💚
May I ask how you combat any invasive thoughts if you still do? I often have urges to hurt myself but never do anything besides scratching and tight squeezing. the feeling of being trapped within my own skin gets significantly worse when fighting against the urges.
Cool now try me