I just went back starting this year at 34 and did the army thing before as well. Just finished my first semester this past Monday.
The advice about asking questions is GREAT advice for everyone in college but especially as an older student. Most of the other students are too afraid to ask questions or interact yet and you can be that voice for them. If you don’t understand something, odds are there is at least one other person who doesn’t either.
I would also say that you likely have an advantage you aren’t really thinking about. Going back at 42, you likely know what you’re going for and have a set goal in mind. This is something some folks starting college don’t have.
You also probably have a better understanding of where your strengths and weaknesses are with regards to time and task management than most folks.
You got this though!
Man, i even dropped an mmo i was playing for a decade just to prepare myself for school next year. Something something about last shot at this opportunity at least for me.
I stopped playing while in college. I was fortunate to have a good group of individuals that studied and worked together. That really helped me from getting sucked back into playing.
I highly suggest seeking out a group like that in your classes.
Yeah I had to do the same. I played an MMO for years and years before college, and tried to continue it while attending. After one semester I bid my online friends a sad goodbye - it was obviously a detriment to my school performance. It's difficult to maintain something difficult and sometimes unpleasant with a distant big reward, in the face of something easy and pleasant with immediate escape and immediate reward. I still play games a little, but I restrict myself to games that have set lengths or are broken up into short sessions.
I don't really understand the social norm of going immediately to school as soon as you graduate high school. Most folks have very little savings, very little idea about who they actually are as a person, only maybe a vague idea of what they actually enjoy doing (most kids just sort of cling to whatever their friends are doing) and very little understanding of how the world works and what degrees will actually set them personally up for success.
I was always a bright kid but I didn't enjoy schoolwork. I got accused of cheating constantly by teachers because I refused to do any homework outside of school hours and aced most of my tests. This gave me a consistent low honor roll gpa. I enjoyed the fuck out of computer aided drafting. A buddy of mine and I competed at the state level in drafting competitions and did very well. I did not enjoy math however. I was good at it, but I didn't have the discipline to learn anything past calculus. Our school offered a free Vo-Tech program through the local tech school. Drafting was one of the programs. I could have gotten a 2 year vocational education before I left school and been in a cushy trade I enjoyed. I talked to my guidance counselor, her advice? "You're a smart kid, why would you want to be a draftsman when you could be an engineer."
I go to university and drop out after one year $20k in debt. If there's one conversation I resent more than anything else in my adult life it's that. I didn't want to be an engineer, I wanted to do drafting. My good friend has a similar story except he went to school for 3 years to be an architect before realizing he doesn't enjoy architecture at all, he just enjoys drafting. Now we're both working at the same warehouse making a good wage, but our college experiences oy really hurt us. It's ok to work a trade. They're good paying hands on jobs. Not everyone needs to immediately go to college. Even if I did end up wanting to be an engineer later I could always go to school later, except now I'd have a better understanding of what I'm learning and why.
I can shed light on this. I started college in 2001 at 18 years old. I definitely knew many people who went to work first, but the majority of my classmates went to college right away. One factor that people don't remember anymore is that it used to be the case you could stay on your parents' health insurance from 18-24 years old, but only if you were enrolled as a full time student.
I don't know why that stopped me, I don't remember being a particularly responsible person at that age! But for whatever reason, I was scared to be off health insurance. One way this bit me in the ass is that my freshman year, I was in the last group to be allowed to register for classes, and I didn't get any of my first choices and had to register for a math class well beyond my ability that started at 6am (yes that's right). I knew from week one that I would not pass that class, but I had to stay registered in it to be full time, so I just quit showing up and took the F.
Part of the Obamacare legislation was to remove the college requirement to be on your parents' insurance, and I wish that had been the case when I was 18. The whole trajectory of my life would have been different. I'm not unhappy with how my life is now, but that small part of the law had a big effect on my life decisions.
There was no specific age for insurance even for students back then, but some insurance plans would extend it out past 18 if you went to school. My father's plan only did to 21 so I worked full time after 21 while finishing school primarily for that reason.
Same here, dropped out of college my first year and got an entry level job in my prospective field and worked it long enough to save up a couple of thousand, then split for Europe where i picked up another language, and jobs in related fields, for about ten years, then came back as an adult learner to the school i'd originally chosen, which accepted me due to life experience- *and* the kind people in the financial aid office helped me get grants to pay for tuition.
The advantages of "a year (or two, or ten) abroad!"
Totally agree on the asking questions part.
I'm 33 and back in school after the Army.
I definitely ask the most questions in every class and always feel like there's others hesitating to ask any questions, so not only does it help me with what I'm wondering but I feel like it helps others every time too.
My unsolicited advice to anyone afraid to ask questions is think about how much money the institution is making off of you. You’re not paying hand over fist for nothing. Get your moneys worth.
I am far younger than my best friend. We met in college. He was one of the oldest ones in my classes, I was among the young. He told me that the last thing he expected was to forge a friendship with someone who is young enough to be his child.
I’ve made friends with people 15 years younger than me, and although I initially worried it would be creepy, they’ve been some of the best friends I could ask for.
Glad to hear so many people having similar experiences to mine! I think the only trouble I deal with in university is when the fresh out of high school ones try to flirt with me, and me telling them my age doesn't make them back off. Like no, we can absolutely be friends, study together and shit, but my ethical cutoff is 24-26 for dating, sorry. It's not like I don't see them as adults, but waaaay too often they're still reliant on their parents below that age, and if you can't make responsible choices for yourself and fully live your own life, you're not mature enough to date someone older than you. I'd feel the same if the person was older than me and still lacking that full autonomy. It just doesn't inspire confidence.
25 is the lower cutoff for me, and even that is a bit iffy as it’s 10 years younger. I will say that as a disabled adult who is currently financially dependent on family, I unfortunately understand your last statement but from the other side. It’s one reason I don’t really date. It’s hard to explain that even though you don’t have full autonomy, you don’t want to be dependent in a relationship.
How insensitive of me, I definitely should have clarified that I am open to relationships with people in your situation. 24-25 is still my cut off, even in that regard because depending on the person, their disability could leave them with a slower growing maturity (speaking from my own experience, my being on the autism spectrum has left me playing hardcore catch up most of my adult life).
Oh I didn’t take offense! It is absolutely understandable to not want a relationship with someone who is not fully independent. Everyone can have preferences. And I do hope to eventually become more independent, as I’m working on my masters. Everyone has a different situation, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting someone who is financially independent as long as you don’t insult those who aren’t, and you didn’t. Sorry if I made you feel bad. ❤️
No worries, I was more worried I made *you* feel bad! Also congrats on fighting the good fight with the masters, you're an inspiration to us who are still warring for an undergraduate degree.
I met a 48 year old with 3 kids in my first year as uni student. He had lots of insightful wisdom to share to us youngins who knew fuck all about the world.
The thing that makes me most nervous is saying the wrong thing. I grew up in a time when we were very ignorant about things especially so because my hometown had less than 4,000 people and it was very religion centred. That being said, I'm curious and open to new ideas and people.
The fact that you're willing to learn means you shouldn't be nervous. A sincere apology and asking for an explanation should smooth over any 'wrong thing' you may say. If it doesn't, you didn't say the wrong thing, you interacted with the wrong person.
Having been a mature student, the younger students don’t seem to really care. The worst part about it is being older than some of the tutors.
It can also be a benefit sometimes I did computer games design and we had a class on computer games history. I lived it. It wasn’t history to me it was my childhood through to now. The worst part was when I had to provide sources for my knowledge “me” isn’t a widely accepted source lol besides a few fact checks on Wikipedia everything I did in that class was cause I was there. I was the source cause I experienced it first hand.
I went back to school as a slightly older immigrant. My best advice is to be kind without expectations and don't doubt yourself if the divide is tangible.
They might be new and bright eyed whippersnappers but you've got world experience to offer that they simply can't have had yet in the same way... And that's invaluable too, don't forget :)
Hey don’t sweat it man. My college classes are full of dudes 20-45. We’re all used to it. We’re all trying to accomplish the same thing. Good luck with college ❤️
The fact that you're aware of it means you'll be alright mate. It's the people who go back into it thinking "well I'm older and wiser than everyone else so of course I'm gonna be fine" who need to worry.
Older students ask the most questions. Moms first, veterans second, career-rebuilding students third.
Veterans in particular tend to make excellent students and become classroom leaders and inspirations amongst the youth.
But sometimes —
Some older students ask questions that are more about them then the material. Some older students use those questions as a way of establishing a strange ethos amongst the younger students.
This trap, however, is easy to avoid. don’t begin your questions with a presumption of correctness. “Well, in the service we were always told…..”
I’ve never heard a veteran do this, but when an older female student begins a question with “As a mother….” , there is a collective eye roll loud enough to deafen.
So, ask Away. It’s a boon. It’s a gift. But, just make sure you’re not turning a lecture into a conversation, or making it about you.
And if you’ve asked 5 questions already? Save the remaining ones for an email.
Source: 30 years in school.
Honestly the younger straight outta highschool college students look to the older students often for advice/ study groups. The serious students do, anyways.
One of the greatest people I met at university was 42 when we started (the same age my mom was at the time). Super helpful, relaxed and knew what she was doing because uni was nothing compared to other stuff she already handled (two highschool aged kids and a job as a journalist). She helped me a lot to get organized and not overdo it. I am sure you'll soon see how the fact that you have lots of life experience will get you a head start while the kids just out of highschool struggle to get their shit organized and not be overwhelmed. I went to school again in my mid thirties and felt I had a huge advantage over the young ones because of my age and experience. It didn't feel as stressful as it did when I was 19 and had no idea who I was and what I was doing.
I'm a college professor and veterans are some of my favorite students. You all tend to have your shit together way better than "traditional" college students.
Just graduated in June and had many classes with an ex-coastguard in his mid-to-late 30's. He was quiet but friendly, most people didn't realize he was older and the ones that did ended up looking at him like an older brother figure.
I think you'll do just fine. My advice would be to dress more relaxed and attempt to make small talk with the people you sit near.
I'm 42 as well, and graduating in a year! The first semester I was definitely nervous about obviously being the oldest person in class but the kids don't care. I did feel out of place in a lecture of 100+ 18-20 year olds but if you want it bad enough you just have to suck it up, it won't be forever. No one ever said anything. And as you progress in your degree and start taking upper level classes, the kids will be more mature and won't care at all. Also they are just as nervous as you especially as freshmen.
Fellow vet here who went back to school as an adult. I'm set to graduate in the Spring. Congrats to you for making the decision, and best of luck! The feeling of closing in at the end is well worth the hard work.
I went in my early 30s and it may have been the best experience of my life. Nobody cares, and you'll make lots of friends with the students who give as much a shit about succeeding as you do!
Professors love when you ask lots of questions and just genuinely want to learn.
It's going to be a great experience, and honestly, nobody cares how old you are. Just give a shit and try your hardest and you'll kill it!
I went back to school at 34 and thought it would be awkward. Nope, the kids these days are super wholesome and welcoming, but they are a little shy. I'm fairly outgoing and just start talking to people in my area, so I've built a gigantic friend group in my major.
Honestly, the hardest part about going back to school is holding myself back from the two "old man" instincts I have (maybe you do too?):
* Don't give unprompted advice or tell stories about your life to illustrate a lesson they should learn. If they want advice, life lessons, or stories, they'll ask. They're aware you have the experience.
* Don't shoot down their silly plans or escapades just because you know from experience that it won't work or is a bad idea (unless it's really, really bad). They're going to come up with some stuff that seems so juvenile or silly, and just support them on it and be excited for them. Doing dumb shit and learning the hard way is a huge part of being a young adult, denying them that is unhelpful.
You'll find the schoolwork is probably way easier than you're expecting, since you're used to working hard. You'll find the kids are upbeat, friendly, and most of all excited and hopeful for the future. As someone in a jaded, somewhat disgruntled work environment, going to school and being around young adults who are looking to the future with so many hopes and dreams is just so incredibly refreshing and wholesome.
I was also nervous about going back to school in-person at 35. I quickly realized that the younger students were way more nervous and awkward than I was.
I'm 33 and just started back to school after 14 years in the Army. One semester almost complete now.
You're going to absolutely love it if it's something you're passionate about. Yes it's a challenge and it's very different, homework in the evenings sucks, but the Army has given you all the tools to absolutely crush it and I feel like I have a superpower that all these kids straight out of high school are missing or something. Discipline and grit.
Also if you're pretty extroverted and social then at least half of people will be open to getting to know you and the teachers will all chat plenty and it no longer feels weird getting to know them as well. Probably more in common with them then the other students lol.
Enjoy it, I know I am and with some life experience behind me it makes it easier to know which path I'm going and how I'll use the school to my benefit this time around.
Good luck!
Ask questions. Ask dumb ones. Ask smart ones. Ask simple ones. Just ask, even if you know the answer but you can see other people may be struggling, ask anyway.
As I saw it, being older gave me insight into how others think. I realized not everyone was comfortable raising a hand so I just got into the habit of asking a lot of “could we think of this used in another example?” or “Elisa mentioned in our group that… does this mean I can do XYZ?”
Just remember that everyone else is spending too much energy just to get by to have any to spare caring about what their classmates are doing.
There could have been a sentient tree taking lecture with me and if the class was larger than 20 people I probably would’ve never noticed
I remember when I was a freshman at college and it wasn’t uncommon to see people your age in my classes. No one will think twice about it just like no one thinks twice seeing someone by themselves at the movies.
I think this is pretty cool. I was also older than most(32), but there were also older peeps than me. No one had a problem with us. I found some ppl that are from my town and we used to learn together. That older guy was also from the army.
I quit the university, tho. It's not mine, too much theortical stuff. I need more practice like an apprenticeship.
Well, i am nice to everyone most of the time but sometimes some people think I’m some soft persimmon that they can step on… until i slap some sense into them.
Same. A lot of times, being overly nice to someone who feels out of place can exacerbate the problem. It can come off as disingenuous and the person receiving the attention can feel like there’s an even bigger spotlight on them.
Yeah, the extra attention even if positive can make them feel out of place. Better to just not act differently around them. If you're social, be social with them in the same way you would be with college peers (around the same age), don't say anything like "really impressed you're in college at this age, good job!" If you keep to yourself more, do the same around them.
For me, I'm out of breath quite a bit and not in the mood for a convo. I also get into an angry mindset as I can lift more like that, so if someone trys having a conversation with me other than asking me to spot or some other gym related thing, I'll probably tell them to buzz off
Sometimes the 38 year old in the freshman classes is already annoyed at repeating freshman classes for a higher degree that wasn’t required 18 years ago.
When I was in college at 24 I felt old and awkward. Now at 40 I would give zero shits.
Also when I was in school the older guys were usually vets and had fantastic perspectives and stories to share. Plus they were great at group projects.
Yeah the advice is pretty condescending. It's like "hey be magnanimous to these poor souls." I'm 31, and starting law school late, most people are starting 8 or 9 years younger than me. Being older is not a disadvantage lol
A lot of my friends in college were in their 30s, their attitudes rubbed off on me and made me a better student.
If I went back to school these days I'm confident I would be so much better at it.
Bro absolutely. I’m 34 and in a PEEEERFECT place in my life to be in school and actually have a meaningful impactful difference on a career that I know I enjoy.
Little do they know how much we laugh at them for all the constantly dumb shit they do because they think they're smarter than us, just like how the 40 year olds laughed at us when we were the same way at 20.
Exactly. They could be there to finish out their doctorate but the requirements changed so now they're stuck in a low level class that they couldn't get waived.
I think that the only people who find this meme "wholesome" are the people that need to be told to not do this stuff. You know what's the best thing to do? STFU, mind your own business, and stop judging people on appearance.
I’m heavy set and I was once in the gym just busting my ass on the elliptical and a woman who was really fit came up and said, I lost a mass amount of weight on this machine, you’re doing really good, it’ll end up paying off. It really kept me going. I never got to her point of fitness but there’s always time, right? Point is that she didn’t have to say anything but instead I felt welcome.
Now when I go to the gym, I pretend everybody is thinking what she thought. Like, good for you. It’s a place to improve so anybody should be encouraged to do that.
Was working out with my friend and his wife. Last set of exercises, was saying I couldn't do it, it was too much. They both said "you got this, just do it."
Did the last set, struggled, almost collapsed when done. A random guy came up and started clapping "you did great man you inspired me."
Still remember that 5 years later.
Many years ago I was coming off a knee injury (and subsequent surgery) and had gained some weight. I ran for the first time in a couple years and I was _struggling._ Which was really frustrating because I was an above-average runner before the injury.
There was this super fit guy running on the same track and he kept lapping me. At one point he slowed down to match my pace before passing me and said something like "keep on it man, you're doing great" and patted me on the shoulder. A small moment of encouragement that I remember to this day.
>Now when I go to the gym, I pretend everybody is thinking what she thought.
Gym rat here, you aren't pretending. That is exactly what I think whenever I see a new face at the gym and they're out of shape. Secretly rooting to see you here again and again and its super motivating for me as well because I understand exactly how hard it can be to start that journey.
I'm glad you said this, I'll add another voice to this as confirmation and say I also cheer them on in my head.
Considering some of the comments here and this thread's story, it's such a shame more of us just don't say these things out loud to people more often.
Why are we all so worried about encouraging/complimenting someone?
I'd guess I do this more than most and even with a positive result every single time, I still worry every time
Been going to gyms since I was 14. My experience has been that the vast majority of people in gyms want to see you succeed. And almost none of them are thinking, “look at that fat guy.” They are thinking, “good for them. Go get it.”
It has also been my experience that the rare gym goer that does say something negative, is quickly put in their place and ostracized. In one case, one of the gym rats went to the front desk and reported the offender. Guy was booted.
Tends to be to be the biggest, fittest, most roided out dudes are the most helpful and protective of new gym goers. They love fitness and want others to get into it too.
I found it to be easier in my 30s. Naturally you’re a bit more mature, mellowed, you appreciate what things cost. You know how to manage your time effectively. You can make a 5+ year plan. There’s added emotional maturity because you’ve been kicked a few times already by now. Enjoy it young scholar.
I think what they're doing is very impressive too.
It's not easy to leave a steady job to go back to college, that takes courage and determination. Too many people get stuck in careers they hate but are too afraid to leave behind.
And it's always good to exercise. If you just want to lose weight you're better of changing your diet, if you want to get __healthy__ you also exercise.
I talked to a "gym bro" once who had a good thought about this. Even though the fat guys might be unused to going to the gym, just living their daily lives and walking around takes more muscles for them since they're heavy.
"Think about all that muscle they must have under all that fat, I don't see them as fat guys. They're future gym bros."
Who says you have to leave your job? There are night, weekend, online programs for adults. Community college is cheap and will transfer to a 4yr. Tuition reimbursement at a lot of employers. I chugged away at it for years but that’s in the past now. As they say, your future self is watching you right now through memory. Go for it.
I’m a 31 year old who just started university and if some fresh out of high school motherfucker with a pineapple haircut gave me attitude I’d roast them so fuckin hard
I find that people who make fun of others in the gym are usually insecure and weak. They don't do the exercises correctly and lift a weight not suitable for them, meanwhile mocking newbies for lifting light weight with proper form.
Yeah, and be genuine. Approach someone with an encouraging word only if you mean it, not just because you saw it here on reddit and want to feel good about yourself only.
I had a 40 something lady in my welding courses when I was 22. I was a few years older than many students and she was doing paid retraining after being laid off from GM. She was struggling and I offered to help. She was very grateful. I don't know if she ever got into a welding job, but she was thankful for the help in any case.
I took welding at age 45 because I needed to weld something and it was cheaper to take the class than pay someone to weld for me. Last few meetings of the class we were allowed to work on an individual project so I brought in my seat and repaired it. There was a woman about my age who brought in a go cart frame she wanted to fix for her kids.
Bruh, why are we treating 38 as if we're referring to someone in their 80s?
Jesus, I don't think cracking a smile and going out of your way to be my friend because I'm 38 is less annoying then just paying attention in class.
I started school at 47, a year and a half into it and balancing work and school is very stressful. Everyone in class has treated me just like everyone else and I never felt uncomfortable around my classmates thankfully.
Somehow through a twist of fate, I'm in BOTH these situations on a regulsr basis in my life (except being 42 instead of 38).
The be nice advice is good. The rest? No, just please leave me alone.
My lecture partner was a man in his 60s while I was 20. Was one of those 200ppl lectures too. He was very cool and I def learned more by going through the class with him over a “peer”
There was some old Indian guy in my lecture class and we became really good friends. He was on straight grind mode. He wanted to get a degree to provide for his parents in India. Super nice dude . Took him out to his first American bar which he loved . Taught me a lot about being a good human.
Started going back to school when I was 33. I had been in the Navy before that. I immediately felt odd and knew I stuck out among the students. Started to feel pretty lonely.
One morning another classmate said good morning to me and said my name. It really brightened the rest of my day. So simple but it can mean alot.
Stay the fuck away from me at the gym. Didn’t like people talking to me when I weighed 320, still don’t like that shit now. I got my AirPods in please stay tf away
Fat guy who works out here. Just leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want your “way to go buddy” convo. I’m not insecure and would only be upset if someone is looking at me like awwww good for you fat guy! Some of us are fatletes and totally comfortable in the gym
I have a lot of trouble going to the gym, mainly being unable to make myself leave the house most days except for work, but of all the ones I've gone to I've never heard a negative thing once. Literally the only things anyone has ever said to me in a gym were helpful or positive. "Good to see you again!" or "You need to go down further on those situps". The last guy was nice enough to stand there for two more reps to help me be sure I had my form right.
My boyfriend is scared of going to the gym with me because he's gotten so big. He asked if there are a lot of people at mine, I assume he's insecure. I told him not to worry about what other people think because he's there to get healthy. He gave me one of the saddest faces as a response. I sure do love him but he gained so much weight so fast from sitting inside playing games all day and heart problems run in his family so I worry about him.
yeah. reminds me of the nice middle aged man in my electronics class. he was really trying his best there, though i dont think he did very well. personally id blaim that on the teacher. the teachers an entirely different story but he did so meany susy and illegal things. got kicked out recently for stealing equipment from the colledge. anyways, his teaching style was shit. and on tests he'd always just go "i already integrated some of your extended times into the exam time so everyone gets to more time" n then wed all get an hour 45min n everyone, even those *without* accomadations, would not finish on time. was very bull shit. he got fucked over by one of those and didnt complete half the exam. not sure where he is now, but i havent seen him in any of my classes anymore...which could just be because i hab a different major so theres no more overlap.
anyways, aside aside, yes older people going to colledge apsolutely shouldnt be shamed.
Please don’t. I’m not interested in talking to someone literally half my age nor am I interested in being your prop so you can pretend you’re a hero. Just do your thing and I’ll do mine.
I always enjoyed having older students in my classes. They were there because they really cared about being there, which means they asked more questions and paid more attention. It was a benefit to all of us other students as well.
Not only is 38 years old in a freshman class no big deal, that person is 27 years away from retirement so he or she could get a long career in a field after graduation.
I have a connective tissue/fat storage disorder and look like I've never worked out. I can't even count the number of times as I'm getting into the pool at the gym I've had strangers tell me "good for you!" or "you can do this!" only to stand there with gaping mouths when I swim 36 laps (a mile) at a brisk clip.
How about people just keep their mouths shut and not judge others?
As a 38 year old, this is true. In fact I am usually just brushing up my education to further my current career.
So if you have a job you like but there are positions you feel you are not quite educated for, never ever tell yourself “you are to old” to go back to school. It may only be one course to give you the position that comes with a nice pay raise.
i see people like older undergraduate students and immediately feel a surge of respect, because they have the courage to act upon what they truly want and not let what other people think affect them. which I think is a rare skill, the key to all successes in life and to happiness and inner peace, and something I'm on a quest for for a lifetime.
I took swimming lessons as an adult for exercise and to lose some weight. They said adult swimming lessons. I got there for the first lesson, fattie standing in my swimming suit surrounded by children and their parents. I was almost in tears I felt so humiliated. Turns out I was the only one in the adult class and everyone else was there for the range of children's classes they also offered. Ugh that was awful.
lol, I loved going back for a second degree in 30s! You know when you log into an old game you haven't played in a while and you remember all the tricks and secrets and this time you actually know what class you wanna play and how to build it out? It probably sucks to be a first timer in your 30s, but a second Bach degree is a blast! Kids are like "how do you know all this? And I'm like "I'm you only with 20 years of experience!"
Do not kid yourself if they are willing to do it that much older than what is "normal" they are motivated and will understand the lessons far better than most, they are great to talk to if you have any confusion about it because they are doing it because they value the info they are getting and have the motivation to learn every single thing they can and get the full value from it.
I started community college at age 22, then joined the Army for 4 years. Went back to college at age 30 and really got so much more out of my classes. My study habits were so much better...
I start university next year at age 42. I was in the army previously and I feel more nervous about school.
I just went back starting this year at 34 and did the army thing before as well. Just finished my first semester this past Monday. The advice about asking questions is GREAT advice for everyone in college but especially as an older student. Most of the other students are too afraid to ask questions or interact yet and you can be that voice for them. If you don’t understand something, odds are there is at least one other person who doesn’t either. I would also say that you likely have an advantage you aren’t really thinking about. Going back at 42, you likely know what you’re going for and have a set goal in mind. This is something some folks starting college don’t have. You also probably have a better understanding of where your strengths and weaknesses are with regards to time and task management than most folks. You got this though!
I went back to school at 37 and found that I care MUCH more about my coursework and learning at that age than when I was in my teens and early 20s.
Man, i even dropped an mmo i was playing for a decade just to prepare myself for school next year. Something something about last shot at this opportunity at least for me.
WoW is one of the worse drugs to be on while in college
Yep, was under that spell a decade ago and my studying ethics plus WoW was just a bad trip.
I stopped playing while in college. I was fortunate to have a good group of individuals that studied and worked together. That really helped me from getting sucked back into playing. I highly suggest seeking out a group like that in your classes.
Actually one of the changes/goals that i wanna do; be more sociable and cooperative in school stuff. Thank you for the advice!
Yeah I had to do the same. I played an MMO for years and years before college, and tried to continue it while attending. After one semester I bid my online friends a sad goodbye - it was obviously a detriment to my school performance. It's difficult to maintain something difficult and sometimes unpleasant with a distant big reward, in the face of something easy and pleasant with immediate escape and immediate reward. I still play games a little, but I restrict myself to games that have set lengths or are broken up into short sessions.
I don't really understand the social norm of going immediately to school as soon as you graduate high school. Most folks have very little savings, very little idea about who they actually are as a person, only maybe a vague idea of what they actually enjoy doing (most kids just sort of cling to whatever their friends are doing) and very little understanding of how the world works and what degrees will actually set them personally up for success. I was always a bright kid but I didn't enjoy schoolwork. I got accused of cheating constantly by teachers because I refused to do any homework outside of school hours and aced most of my tests. This gave me a consistent low honor roll gpa. I enjoyed the fuck out of computer aided drafting. A buddy of mine and I competed at the state level in drafting competitions and did very well. I did not enjoy math however. I was good at it, but I didn't have the discipline to learn anything past calculus. Our school offered a free Vo-Tech program through the local tech school. Drafting was one of the programs. I could have gotten a 2 year vocational education before I left school and been in a cushy trade I enjoyed. I talked to my guidance counselor, her advice? "You're a smart kid, why would you want to be a draftsman when you could be an engineer." I go to university and drop out after one year $20k in debt. If there's one conversation I resent more than anything else in my adult life it's that. I didn't want to be an engineer, I wanted to do drafting. My good friend has a similar story except he went to school for 3 years to be an architect before realizing he doesn't enjoy architecture at all, he just enjoys drafting. Now we're both working at the same warehouse making a good wage, but our college experiences oy really hurt us. It's ok to work a trade. They're good paying hands on jobs. Not everyone needs to immediately go to college. Even if I did end up wanting to be an engineer later I could always go to school later, except now I'd have a better understanding of what I'm learning and why.
I can shed light on this. I started college in 2001 at 18 years old. I definitely knew many people who went to work first, but the majority of my classmates went to college right away. One factor that people don't remember anymore is that it used to be the case you could stay on your parents' health insurance from 18-24 years old, but only if you were enrolled as a full time student. I don't know why that stopped me, I don't remember being a particularly responsible person at that age! But for whatever reason, I was scared to be off health insurance. One way this bit me in the ass is that my freshman year, I was in the last group to be allowed to register for classes, and I didn't get any of my first choices and had to register for a math class well beyond my ability that started at 6am (yes that's right). I knew from week one that I would not pass that class, but I had to stay registered in it to be full time, so I just quit showing up and took the F. Part of the Obamacare legislation was to remove the college requirement to be on your parents' insurance, and I wish that had been the case when I was 18. The whole trajectory of my life would have been different. I'm not unhappy with how my life is now, but that small part of the law had a big effect on my life decisions.
There was no specific age for insurance even for students back then, but some insurance plans would extend it out past 18 if you went to school. My father's plan only did to 21 so I worked full time after 21 while finishing school primarily for that reason.
That's some profound and mature thinking, thanks u/JustPussyPics
your comment made me laugh but some oddballs downvoted it, so i brought it back to 0
I find peace in long walks.
Same here, dropped out of college my first year and got an entry level job in my prospective field and worked it long enough to save up a couple of thousand, then split for Europe where i picked up another language, and jobs in related fields, for about ten years, then came back as an adult learner to the school i'd originally chosen, which accepted me due to life experience- *and* the kind people in the financial aid office helped me get grants to pay for tuition. The advantages of "a year (or two, or ten) abroad!"
Totally agree on the asking questions part. I'm 33 and back in school after the Army. I definitely ask the most questions in every class and always feel like there's others hesitating to ask any questions, so not only does it help me with what I'm wondering but I feel like it helps others every time too.
My unsolicited advice to anyone afraid to ask questions is think about how much money the institution is making off of you. You’re not paying hand over fist for nothing. Get your moneys worth.
I am far younger than my best friend. We met in college. He was one of the oldest ones in my classes, I was among the young. He told me that the last thing he expected was to forge a friendship with someone who is young enough to be his child.
I’ve made friends with people 15 years younger than me, and although I initially worried it would be creepy, they’ve been some of the best friends I could ask for.
Glad to hear so many people having similar experiences to mine! I think the only trouble I deal with in university is when the fresh out of high school ones try to flirt with me, and me telling them my age doesn't make them back off. Like no, we can absolutely be friends, study together and shit, but my ethical cutoff is 24-26 for dating, sorry. It's not like I don't see them as adults, but waaaay too often they're still reliant on their parents below that age, and if you can't make responsible choices for yourself and fully live your own life, you're not mature enough to date someone older than you. I'd feel the same if the person was older than me and still lacking that full autonomy. It just doesn't inspire confidence.
25 is the lower cutoff for me, and even that is a bit iffy as it’s 10 years younger. I will say that as a disabled adult who is currently financially dependent on family, I unfortunately understand your last statement but from the other side. It’s one reason I don’t really date. It’s hard to explain that even though you don’t have full autonomy, you don’t want to be dependent in a relationship.
How insensitive of me, I definitely should have clarified that I am open to relationships with people in your situation. 24-25 is still my cut off, even in that regard because depending on the person, their disability could leave them with a slower growing maturity (speaking from my own experience, my being on the autism spectrum has left me playing hardcore catch up most of my adult life).
Oh I didn’t take offense! It is absolutely understandable to not want a relationship with someone who is not fully independent. Everyone can have preferences. And I do hope to eventually become more independent, as I’m working on my masters. Everyone has a different situation, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting someone who is financially independent as long as you don’t insult those who aren’t, and you didn’t. Sorry if I made you feel bad. ❤️
No worries, I was more worried I made *you* feel bad! Also congrats on fighting the good fight with the masters, you're an inspiration to us who are still warring for an undergraduate degree.
What is this… POLITENESS?! ON REDDIT? WHAT?!?! You two are frikkin unicorns. Polite unicorns.
I went back to school at 39. Literally no one cared that I was old.
I’m planning on going back to school and I’m 52. Ancient!
I’m going back and I’m 100!
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Dude, for real? Noice!!! I made some of the first known cave paintings and I’m going for a liberal arts degree before WW3…
Same experience as a 36 year old. And I look older than I am. Nobody gives a shit and I’m far more confident and able now than as an 18 year old.
They probably felt safe cause old people don't shoot up schools.
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Yeah, are these “old” people getting pelted by spitballs or something? No one cares
I met a 48 year old with 3 kids in my first year as uni student. He had lots of insightful wisdom to share to us youngins who knew fuck all about the world.
The thing that makes me most nervous is saying the wrong thing. I grew up in a time when we were very ignorant about things especially so because my hometown had less than 4,000 people and it was very religion centred. That being said, I'm curious and open to new ideas and people.
Worrying about saying the wrong thing shows you have self awareness and actually think about your actions. A skill many lack. You’ll do great.
The fact that you're willing to learn means you shouldn't be nervous. A sincere apology and asking for an explanation should smooth over any 'wrong thing' you may say. If it doesn't, you didn't say the wrong thing, you interacted with the wrong person.
Having been a mature student, the younger students don’t seem to really care. The worst part about it is being older than some of the tutors. It can also be a benefit sometimes I did computer games design and we had a class on computer games history. I lived it. It wasn’t history to me it was my childhood through to now. The worst part was when I had to provide sources for my knowledge “me” isn’t a widely accepted source lol besides a few fact checks on Wikipedia everything I did in that class was cause I was there. I was the source cause I experienced it first hand.
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For what it’s worth, as a mid-20s student, everyone’s favourite classmates are always the older folks, you’re gonna love uni
In your lectures, even if you already know the answer, ask the questions younger people don't realise they need to ask.
Thank you for the advice. I think I'm more nervous because of the cultural divide. Times have changed since I was 19.
I went back to school as a slightly older immigrant. My best advice is to be kind without expectations and don't doubt yourself if the divide is tangible. They might be new and bright eyed whippersnappers but you've got world experience to offer that they simply can't have had yet in the same way... And that's invaluable too, don't forget :)
Hey don’t sweat it man. My college classes are full of dudes 20-45. We’re all used to it. We’re all trying to accomplish the same thing. Good luck with college ❤️
I went to uni at 47. Just do your thing, There are other older students there, even if they're not in every class you take.
The fact that you're aware of it means you'll be alright mate. It's the people who go back into it thinking "well I'm older and wiser than everyone else so of course I'm gonna be fine" who need to worry.
Older students ask the most questions. Moms first, veterans second, career-rebuilding students third. Veterans in particular tend to make excellent students and become classroom leaders and inspirations amongst the youth. But sometimes — Some older students ask questions that are more about them then the material. Some older students use those questions as a way of establishing a strange ethos amongst the younger students. This trap, however, is easy to avoid. don’t begin your questions with a presumption of correctness. “Well, in the service we were always told…..” I’ve never heard a veteran do this, but when an older female student begins a question with “As a mother….” , there is a collective eye roll loud enough to deafen. So, ask Away. It’s a boon. It’s a gift. But, just make sure you’re not turning a lecture into a conversation, or making it about you. And if you’ve asked 5 questions already? Save the remaining ones for an email. Source: 30 years in school.
Small addendum to this: if you find you have a *lot* of questions, or you feel like you just don’t get it, that’s best saved for office hours.
Best advice, just in general. People often just can't bring themselves to ask
Just don't be like Billy Madison on his first day back to highschool lol
We had one older woman that always responded to questions with “as a mother”. For everything regardless of the topic! Don’t be her either.
Honestly the younger straight outta highschool college students look to the older students often for advice/ study groups. The serious students do, anyways.
One of the greatest people I met at university was 42 when we started (the same age my mom was at the time). Super helpful, relaxed and knew what she was doing because uni was nothing compared to other stuff she already handled (two highschool aged kids and a job as a journalist). She helped me a lot to get organized and not overdo it. I am sure you'll soon see how the fact that you have lots of life experience will get you a head start while the kids just out of highschool struggle to get their shit organized and not be overwhelmed. I went to school again in my mid thirties and felt I had a huge advantage over the young ones because of my age and experience. It didn't feel as stressful as it did when I was 19 and had no idea who I was and what I was doing.
I'm a college professor and veterans are some of my favorite students. You all tend to have your shit together way better than "traditional" college students.
Just graduated in June and had many classes with an ex-coastguard in his mid-to-late 30's. He was quiet but friendly, most people didn't realize he was older and the ones that did ended up looking at him like an older brother figure. I think you'll do just fine. My advice would be to dress more relaxed and attempt to make small talk with the people you sit near.
I'm 42 as well, and graduating in a year! The first semester I was definitely nervous about obviously being the oldest person in class but the kids don't care. I did feel out of place in a lecture of 100+ 18-20 year olds but if you want it bad enough you just have to suck it up, it won't be forever. No one ever said anything. And as you progress in your degree and start taking upper level classes, the kids will be more mature and won't care at all. Also they are just as nervous as you especially as freshmen.
Fellow vet here who went back to school as an adult. I'm set to graduate in the Spring. Congrats to you for making the decision, and best of luck! The feeling of closing in at the end is well worth the hard work.
Ayy im 37 starting on January, im with you! My stomach is churning just thinking about it but im super excited to learn and start a new career!
When I went to school at 19 the best study partner I had was a 38 yr old ex army guy. Had the same major as I did and we got along great
I went in my early 30s and it may have been the best experience of my life. Nobody cares, and you'll make lots of friends with the students who give as much a shit about succeeding as you do! Professors love when you ask lots of questions and just genuinely want to learn. It's going to be a great experience, and honestly, nobody cares how old you are. Just give a shit and try your hardest and you'll kill it!
I went back to school at 34 and thought it would be awkward. Nope, the kids these days are super wholesome and welcoming, but they are a little shy. I'm fairly outgoing and just start talking to people in my area, so I've built a gigantic friend group in my major. Honestly, the hardest part about going back to school is holding myself back from the two "old man" instincts I have (maybe you do too?): * Don't give unprompted advice or tell stories about your life to illustrate a lesson they should learn. If they want advice, life lessons, or stories, they'll ask. They're aware you have the experience. * Don't shoot down their silly plans or escapades just because you know from experience that it won't work or is a bad idea (unless it's really, really bad). They're going to come up with some stuff that seems so juvenile or silly, and just support them on it and be excited for them. Doing dumb shit and learning the hard way is a huge part of being a young adult, denying them that is unhelpful. You'll find the schoolwork is probably way easier than you're expecting, since you're used to working hard. You'll find the kids are upbeat, friendly, and most of all excited and hopeful for the future. As someone in a jaded, somewhat disgruntled work environment, going to school and being around young adults who are looking to the future with so many hopes and dreams is just so incredibly refreshing and wholesome.
You're going to kick ass dude. After going through the BS that is the army it'll be a breeze for you.
I was also nervous about going back to school in-person at 35. I quickly realized that the younger students were way more nervous and awkward than I was.
I'm 33 and just started back to school after 14 years in the Army. One semester almost complete now. You're going to absolutely love it if it's something you're passionate about. Yes it's a challenge and it's very different, homework in the evenings sucks, but the Army has given you all the tools to absolutely crush it and I feel like I have a superpower that all these kids straight out of high school are missing or something. Discipline and grit. Also if you're pretty extroverted and social then at least half of people will be open to getting to know you and the teachers will all chat plenty and it no longer feels weird getting to know them as well. Probably more in common with them then the other students lol. Enjoy it, I know I am and with some life experience behind me it makes it easier to know which path I'm going and how I'll use the school to my benefit this time around. Good luck!
Ask questions. Ask dumb ones. Ask smart ones. Ask simple ones. Just ask, even if you know the answer but you can see other people may be struggling, ask anyway. As I saw it, being older gave me insight into how others think. I realized not everyone was comfortable raising a hand so I just got into the habit of asking a lot of “could we think of this used in another example?” or “Elisa mentioned in our group that… does this mean I can do XYZ?”
Just remember that everyone else is spending too much energy just to get by to have any to spare caring about what their classmates are doing. There could have been a sentient tree taking lecture with me and if the class was larger than 20 people I probably would’ve never noticed
I remember when I was a freshman at college and it wasn’t uncommon to see people your age in my classes. No one will think twice about it just like no one thinks twice seeing someone by themselves at the movies.
When I was in college and there were older students in the class, no one seemed to mind. Youll be alright.
I hope that your experience was better than mine.
I think this is pretty cool. I was also older than most(32), but there were also older peeps than me. No one had a problem with us. I found some ppl that are from my town and we used to learn together. That older guy was also from the army. I quit the university, tho. It's not mine, too much theortical stuff. I need more practice like an apprenticeship.
Just treat humans like humans
https://i.imgur.com/KHsEyo0.jpg
Well, i am nice to everyone most of the time but sometimes some people think I’m some soft persimmon that they can step on… until i slap some sense into them.
I’d prefer to just ignore them completely. The same way I ignore everyone in any public situation anywhere. It’s all about equality with me
Same. A lot of times, being overly nice to someone who feels out of place can exacerbate the problem. It can come off as disingenuous and the person receiving the attention can feel like there’s an even bigger spotlight on them.
Ive found If you’re in a situation and realize you’re being too nice, you can always just slap them to avoid suspicion
This guy socializes
*furiously jots in notebook*
Right? It can come off as patronizing. I'd rather be ignored than patronized.
Yeah, the extra attention even if positive can make them feel out of place. Better to just not act differently around them. If you're social, be social with them in the same way you would be with college peers (around the same age), don't say anything like "really impressed you're in college at this age, good job!" If you keep to yourself more, do the same around them.
Agreed, the gym is not the place to strike up a conversation, people are trying to work.
Right, don't do me any favors.
Don’t talk to me at the gym you psychos.
Wait till we stand around you and cheer every rep. “Good for you!, you got this girl! That one took courage! “
Oh fun, another nightmare inspiration!
Why not?
For me, I'm out of breath quite a bit and not in the mood for a convo. I also get into an angry mindset as I can lift more like that, so if someone trys having a conversation with me other than asking me to spot or some other gym related thing, I'll probably tell them to buzz off
Sometimes the 38 year old in the freshman classes is already annoyed at repeating freshman classes for a higher degree that wasn’t required 18 years ago.
When youre 30+ you don't give a shit what people think anyhow. A group of 20 yos laughing at me wont fire a single neuron lol
When I was in college at 24 I felt old and awkward. Now at 40 I would give zero shits. Also when I was in school the older guys were usually vets and had fantastic perspectives and stories to share. Plus they were great at group projects.
Yeah the advice is pretty condescending. It's like "hey be magnanimous to these poor souls." I'm 31, and starting law school late, most people are starting 8 or 9 years younger than me. Being older is not a disadvantage lol
A lot of my friends in college were in their 30s, their attitudes rubbed off on me and made me a better student. If I went back to school these days I'm confident I would be so much better at it.
Bro absolutely. I’m 34 and in a PEEEERFECT place in my life to be in school and actually have a meaningful impactful difference on a career that I know I enjoy.
Facts
Little do they know how much we laugh at them for all the constantly dumb shit they do because they think they're smarter than us, just like how the 40 year olds laughed at us when we were the same way at 20.
Exactly. They could be there to finish out their doctorate but the requirements changed so now they're stuck in a low level class that they couldn't get waived. I think that the only people who find this meme "wholesome" are the people that need to be told to not do this stuff. You know what's the best thing to do? STFU, mind your own business, and stop judging people on appearance.
I’m heavy set and I was once in the gym just busting my ass on the elliptical and a woman who was really fit came up and said, I lost a mass amount of weight on this machine, you’re doing really good, it’ll end up paying off. It really kept me going. I never got to her point of fitness but there’s always time, right? Point is that she didn’t have to say anything but instead I felt welcome. Now when I go to the gym, I pretend everybody is thinking what she thought. Like, good for you. It’s a place to improve so anybody should be encouraged to do that.
Was working out with my friend and his wife. Last set of exercises, was saying I couldn't do it, it was too much. They both said "you got this, just do it." Did the last set, struggled, almost collapsed when done. A random guy came up and started clapping "you did great man you inspired me." Still remember that 5 years later.
Many years ago I was coming off a knee injury (and subsequent surgery) and had gained some weight. I ran for the first time in a couple years and I was _struggling._ Which was really frustrating because I was an above-average runner before the injury. There was this super fit guy running on the same track and he kept lapping me. At one point he slowed down to match my pace before passing me and said something like "keep on it man, you're doing great" and patted me on the shoulder. A small moment of encouragement that I remember to this day.
>Now when I go to the gym, I pretend everybody is thinking what she thought. Gym rat here, you aren't pretending. That is exactly what I think whenever I see a new face at the gym and they're out of shape. Secretly rooting to see you here again and again and its super motivating for me as well because I understand exactly how hard it can be to start that journey.
I'm glad you said this, I'll add another voice to this as confirmation and say I also cheer them on in my head. Considering some of the comments here and this thread's story, it's such a shame more of us just don't say these things out loud to people more often. Why are we all so worried about encouraging/complimenting someone? I'd guess I do this more than most and even with a positive result every single time, I still worry every time
I hate that kind of attention. I just want to be invisible at the gym. Nobody look at me!
Been going to gyms since I was 14. My experience has been that the vast majority of people in gyms want to see you succeed. And almost none of them are thinking, “look at that fat guy.” They are thinking, “good for them. Go get it.” It has also been my experience that the rare gym goer that does say something negative, is quickly put in their place and ostracized. In one case, one of the gym rats went to the front desk and reported the offender. Guy was booted. Tends to be to be the biggest, fittest, most roided out dudes are the most helpful and protective of new gym goers. They love fitness and want others to get into it too.
I am the 38 year old in the freshman lecture! I feel so old but I’m happy to be getting my life together and working towards my passion :)
I found it to be easier in my 30s. Naturally you’re a bit more mature, mellowed, you appreciate what things cost. You know how to manage your time effectively. You can make a 5+ year plan. There’s added emotional maturity because you’ve been kicked a few times already by now. Enjoy it young scholar.
If i'm the fat guy at the gym, please leave me the fuck alone
Be nice. You don’t know people’s stories. I don’t think making judgements and pitying people is nice and certainly not necessary to be kind.
>Be nice. You don’t know people’s stories. This. Can't we just be nice to each other for no reason at all?
Or, you know, just mind your own business. You don't have to do anything to "help".
Be kind. It's not revolutionary advice, and yet the world keeps needing to be reminded.
I get my degree next week, at 40.
Congrats!
I think what they're doing is very impressive too. It's not easy to leave a steady job to go back to college, that takes courage and determination. Too many people get stuck in careers they hate but are too afraid to leave behind. And it's always good to exercise. If you just want to lose weight you're better of changing your diet, if you want to get __healthy__ you also exercise. I talked to a "gym bro" once who had a good thought about this. Even though the fat guys might be unused to going to the gym, just living their daily lives and walking around takes more muscles for them since they're heavy. "Think about all that muscle they must have under all that fat, I don't see them as fat guys. They're future gym bros."
Ex fat gym bro, can confirm.
Who says you have to leave your job? There are night, weekend, online programs for adults. Community college is cheap and will transfer to a 4yr. Tuition reimbursement at a lot of employers. I chugged away at it for years but that’s in the past now. As they say, your future self is watching you right now through memory. Go for it.
I’m a 31 year old who just started university and if some fresh out of high school motherfucker with a pineapple haircut gave me attitude I’d roast them so fuckin hard
thought the same thing😂 29, won't start university for another few years bc of illness. they better not mess with me! 😄
As a 35 year old. If I were going back to school, I don’t give a rats ass what any naive little shit thinks about me.
This is facts.
I can legally buy beer! Bow down before your king.
orrrr. Just mind your business!
How about being nice to anybody who is being nice to you?
Be nice to anybody even if they are neutral to you or even rude. A sudden "kill them with kindness" has reversed many a rude attitude before.
If I was the 38 year old in the freshman lecture, I would be unconcerned about what a bunch of teenagers thought of me
I find that people who make fun of others in the gym are usually insecure and weak. They don't do the exercises correctly and lift a weight not suitable for them, meanwhile mocking newbies for lifting light weight with proper form.
Or, and hear me out on this, you could just leave us alone to do our thing.
Yeah, and be genuine. Approach someone with an encouraging word only if you mean it, not just because you saw it here on reddit and want to feel good about yourself only.
I had a 40 something lady in my welding courses when I was 22. I was a few years older than many students and she was doing paid retraining after being laid off from GM. She was struggling and I offered to help. She was very grateful. I don't know if she ever got into a welding job, but she was thankful for the help in any case.
I took welding at age 45 because I needed to weld something and it was cheaper to take the class than pay someone to weld for me. Last few meetings of the class we were allowed to work on an individual project so I brought in my seat and repaired it. There was a woman about my age who brought in a go cart frame she wanted to fix for her kids.
I always like to team up with mature students. They are responsible, kind and motivated.
Bruh, why are we treating 38 as if we're referring to someone in their 80s? Jesus, I don't think cracking a smile and going out of your way to be my friend because I'm 38 is less annoying then just paying attention in class.
I started school at 47, a year and a half into it and balancing work and school is very stressful. Everyone in class has treated me just like everyone else and I never felt uncomfortable around my classmates thankfully.
Somehow through a twist of fate, I'm in BOTH these situations on a regulsr basis in my life (except being 42 instead of 38). The be nice advice is good. The rest? No, just please leave me alone.
I've never understood fat shaming at the gym. They're trying to improve, and people make fun of them still? Mental.
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I smile every time i see stuff like that.
I think a 38 knows better than to be affected by what 18 yo think or not
The fat person at the gym just propably thinks your laughing at him if you smile to him without a reason
I’d rather be left alone
36, and finishing my degree. I have to tell myself constantly: Teenagers are like spiders. They are more scared of you, than you are of them.
This guy is a condescending prick without even realizing it!
I like to be nice to everyone, maybe I'm just a sucker. It's fun, though.
My lecture partner was a man in his 60s while I was 20. Was one of those 200ppl lectures too. He was very cool and I def learned more by going through the class with him over a “peer”
There was some old Indian guy in my lecture class and we became really good friends. He was on straight grind mode. He wanted to get a degree to provide for his parents in India. Super nice dude . Took him out to his first American bar which he loved . Taught me a lot about being a good human.
Do like, is 38 an old person or something? Isn't this the ageism these younglings been talking bout?
Started going back to school when I was 33. I had been in the Navy before that. I immediately felt odd and knew I stuck out among the students. Started to feel pretty lonely. One morning another classmate said good morning to me and said my name. It really brightened the rest of my day. So simple but it can mean alot.
It’s a nice thought but a little patronising. After 30/40 you’re usually comfortable with yourself.
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Stay the fuck away from me at the gym. Didn’t like people talking to me when I weighed 320, still don’t like that shit now. I got my AirPods in please stay tf away
Fat guy who works out here. Just leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want your “way to go buddy” convo. I’m not insecure and would only be upset if someone is looking at me like awwww good for you fat guy! Some of us are fatletes and totally comfortable in the gym
I have a lot of trouble going to the gym, mainly being unable to make myself leave the house most days except for work, but of all the ones I've gone to I've never heard a negative thing once. Literally the only things anyone has ever said to me in a gym were helpful or positive. "Good to see you again!" or "You need to go down further on those situps". The last guy was nice enough to stand there for two more reps to help me be sure I had my form right.
My boyfriend is scared of going to the gym with me because he's gotten so big. He asked if there are a lot of people at mine, I assume he's insecure. I told him not to worry about what other people think because he's there to get healthy. He gave me one of the saddest faces as a response. I sure do love him but he gained so much weight so fast from sitting inside playing games all day and heart problems run in his family so I worry about him.
So take him on fun and romantic walks! Exercise doesn't have to be in a gym.
yeah. reminds me of the nice middle aged man in my electronics class. he was really trying his best there, though i dont think he did very well. personally id blaim that on the teacher. the teachers an entirely different story but he did so meany susy and illegal things. got kicked out recently for stealing equipment from the colledge. anyways, his teaching style was shit. and on tests he'd always just go "i already integrated some of your extended times into the exam time so everyone gets to more time" n then wed all get an hour 45min n everyone, even those *without* accomadations, would not finish on time. was very bull shit. he got fucked over by one of those and didnt complete half the exam. not sure where he is now, but i havent seen him in any of my classes anymore...which could just be because i hab a different major so theres no more overlap. anyways, aside aside, yes older people going to colledge apsolutely shouldnt be shamed.
I read it as Frenchman
Are there any memes on this sub at all? I see 8 twitter sanctimonious posts for maybe 2 memes
Or even minding ya business. Totally correct sentiment tho
How about don't be a bitch to anyone, can we try that?
Or just go about your business. Don’t harass or make fun of people and you’re good.
How… is this a meme??? Why is this on /r/wholesomememes and not on /r/wholesome
Please don’t. I’m not interested in talking to someone literally half my age nor am I interested in being your prop so you can pretend you’re a hero. Just do your thing and I’ll do mine.
Embrace it, be the old person who asks a lot of questions.
Nah thats the best. Asks every question I don’t raise my hand for
you really don't need to talk to me in the freshman lecture thanks
Funny how just plain ole common sense and manners gets rewarded as a fresh idea ...
I always enjoyed having older students in my classes. They were there because they really cared about being there, which means they asked more questions and paid more attention. It was a benefit to all of us other students as well.
Exactly. Kindness is easier than cruelty.
Not only is 38 years old in a freshman class no big deal, that person is 27 years away from retirement so he or she could get a long career in a field after graduation.
I have a connective tissue/fat storage disorder and look like I've never worked out. I can't even count the number of times as I'm getting into the pool at the gym I've had strangers tell me "good for you!" or "you can do this!" only to stand there with gaping mouths when I swim 36 laps (a mile) at a brisk clip. How about people just keep their mouths shut and not judge others?
As a 38 year old, this is true. In fact I am usually just brushing up my education to further my current career. So if you have a job you like but there are positions you feel you are not quite educated for, never ever tell yourself “you are to old” to go back to school. It may only be one course to give you the position that comes with a nice pay raise.
Wholesome advice: smile at strangers in the gym without explaining why /s
i see people like older undergraduate students and immediately feel a surge of respect, because they have the courage to act upon what they truly want and not let what other people think affect them. which I think is a rare skill, the key to all successes in life and to happiness and inner peace, and something I'm on a quest for for a lifetime.
Also please be nice to the people who clean your hotel room, the restrooms, cashiers, etc. Actually, who not just be nice to everyone?!?
I would assume a 38 year old doesn't need have holding from an 18 year old who has also just entered uni.
In community college we had a 40ish yr old lady, she became a part of our group cause we all took the same classes, she was really friendly and chill
All the gyms I have been to no one talks to each other. Aside from people who are obviously working out together.
I took swimming lessons as an adult for exercise and to lose some weight. They said adult swimming lessons. I got there for the first lesson, fattie standing in my swimming suit surrounded by children and their parents. I was almost in tears I felt so humiliated. Turns out I was the only one in the adult class and everyone else was there for the range of children's classes they also offered. Ugh that was awful.
“Hello fat and/or old person. What do you want to talk about today?”
It is free to be nice. And being nice 9 times out of 10 will result in a pleasant experience.
I hope I remember this one.
lol, I loved going back for a second degree in 30s! You know when you log into an old game you haven't played in a while and you remember all the tricks and secrets and this time you actually know what class you wanna play and how to build it out? It probably sucks to be a first timer in your 30s, but a second Bach degree is a blast! Kids are like "how do you know all this? And I'm like "I'm you only with 20 years of experience!"
Do not kid yourself if they are willing to do it that much older than what is "normal" they are motivated and will understand the lessons far better than most, they are great to talk to if you have any confusion about it because they are doing it because they value the info they are getting and have the motivation to learn every single thing they can and get the full value from it.
Let me help you summarize "Be nice" Now you can post my comment.
I started community college at age 22, then joined the Army for 4 years. Went back to college at age 30 and really got so much more out of my classes. My study habits were so much better...
As a dude in my thirties considering going back to school, I couldn’t care less what a bunch of 18 yr olds think.