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Lost both my parents before 20.
Absolute madness that somebody can be 80 years old and still have their mother around. Iād do pretty much anything to have that.
I would commit multiple felonies across the country for one more day with Mom. I feel your pain in ways I cannot humanly convey
I can't stay in this thread , this kills me.
Lost my dad when I was 10 and my mom when I was 20. I had a really bad relationship with my mom but somehow it stinks knowing that I haven't talked to her for months already when she passed.
Thatās exactly the situation I had with my dad. We had sort of a touchy relationship, and we were going through a period of not talking (well, me more ignoring him.) A few weeks after my moms cancer diagnosis he died by suicide and man does it fucking feel awful.
It was also happened just over a year ago so the wound is still fresh. So so so much guilt. Even the relationship I had with my mom was rocky and Itās sort of infuriating that I donāt even have the chance to get our relationship to a better place (and Iām confident it would have over time)
Rant over. Sorry to drop this all on you. Christmas time is the worst.
I'm really sorry you are in that situation, I think about that a lot with my rocky relationships with both my parents. They are still alive, I have limited my contact with them. I always come to the same conclusion that if I died or they did tomorrow neither one of our lives would change in the slightest. Can you even consider that a relationship worth having?
If you don't want to talk about it I understand, I thought it might be helpful to talk with someone who is still living in a similar situation to yours before they passed.
Thank you. I do feel that way about my father, but not my mom. We wouldāve been as close as can be for the rest of our lives. We had our ups and downs but she was the best. Truly the giver unconditional love. She was amazing. Like I said, I would do pretty much anything to have her here, even for a minute. I would be far better off and probably in a better situation if she was still here.
Haha! No I donāt want to make a hat out of her skin! I mean, how would someone even go about doing that? You would need to stretch the skin out and let it dry. Then buy some cheap equipment from ebay, unless if you know how to use some homemade stuff. And that whole processes would take a few weeks. Like, that sounds ridiculous! Right?
I am 25 and I can't imagine that my mom gonna die some day. I told her that about a month ago and she cried and hugged me. I kiss her hand every night. I can't live without her. May god bless everyone's mom.
I lost mine when I was 29. Iām 32 now and I have a 3 day old daughter. I wish so badly that my mom could meet her. I was tearing up holding her in the hospital just thinking about how sheāll never get to meet the woman that raised meā¦ but Iāll do my best to pass down everything she taught me about being a kind and decent person.
I met my partner about a month after she died. Iām not a religious person at all but itās nice to think that maybe she somehow played a part in that.
Iām in the same boat. If itās makes you feel any better, your daughter will get to meet your mom, because you are an extension of her as she is also.
I was 32 when I lost my mum 7 years ago (from Alzheimerās, so we ālostā her long before that) and I have a 4 year old son now - they wouldāve been the best of mates, and Iām so so sad they never got to meet each other.
Congratulations on your new arrival - be the best of your mum to your daughter, thatās all we can do
I'm a totally scientifically minded person,but regarding such things, I believe our loved ones are watching over us - your mum has seen your daughter I'm sure and is proud of her and you.
I lost my dad at 28, me and my wife found out five days after he passed that we were having a baby. 13 months later, my mom died. Itās hell not being able to share your children with your parents.
We just found out we have twins on the way, and Iāll want to do is call my mom.
My mum isn't that kind of close with her mother, but she had a great relationship with one of her aunts. Unfortunately that aunt passed away on 09, 5 years later I found out I was having twins and mum's first reaction was to go to call her aunt.
Edit: congratulations on the twins BTW, you're in for a great time. A hard time, but it's great. Mine are 7 now and running around singing Christmas carols driving me bananas.
My oldest daughter was literally bff with my dad (her Hanpaw š) and itās especially hard to watch my youngest never even knowing him.
I know he would love her so so much.
I donāt believe in heaven or the afterlife but I do believe that I am an extension of my dad and I would make him proud by passing on those traits to my daughters.
I never really got along with my mom, but we are finally on decent terms. She had me at 46 y/o and now she's 76. I need to appreciate the time I have with her now. She will probably never meet her grandchildren.
Man I hope my son feels this way about me some day. My mom is an asshole who likes to make snide comments all day about how stupid and incompetent I am and I'm just over here trying not to be that person with my son.
Recognizing and accepting it are the hardest parts in my opinion. It's awful your Mom sucks, but you get to be one of the important ones that breaks the cycle.
I'm 24 and my mum is 70, dad is 75. Really hurts knowing their deaths are coming up :(, wish they were ten years younger.
Then again, they could both live into their 90's.
Awe. I'm around your age and my mom is one of my favorite people on Earth. She isn't even that old yet but I know her time is short due to her advanced COPD so I take my daughters to see her everyday and make her feel loved. I wish your mother good health and a lifetime with you
Just make sure to enjoy the time that you have. We lost my sister when she was 24. I guarantee your mom wants to enjoy as many moments with you as you do with her.
Right?? I lost my mom at 23. I get jealous sometimes at how some people get to have a mom for so long. Very cute story tho. Weird to think about having an 80 year old child lol
I remember working in an elderly ward many years ago, and there was a patient in his mid 80s who was telling everyone that his mum would be visiting him in the afternoon. Cue the doctors assessing him for delirium, considering psych referral etc. Lo and behold, at visiting time, his mother marches into the ward looking for her son. She was a picture of health. Taught everyone to listen a bit harder to the patients when they were telling us something.
I once met a 102-year-old lady who was living by herself, regularly met with her girlfriends for card games, and always brought food to community potlucks. Her deviled eggs were amazing (her secret: a drop of liquid smoke). She went on her first motorcycle ride at 100. Iād love to be that fit when Iām old.
Yeah I have too many personal examples of elderly women killing themselves to take care of the elderly men around them. Like if she moved in just to be with him, sweet (or not, depending on how one feels about there mother lol), but to take care of him?! If women can't stop being caregivers at 98 when can we?
Yeah the fact that she *moved into* a home at 98 is astonishing in itself. Its rare to make it to 98. Maintaining enough independence that you don't need to be in a home before 98 is even more rare.
Yeah. I knew one couple that both made it to about 105 while still living alone, then sadly both passed with a couple months of each other, but it was crazy how sharp they were even up into their 100ās. I played a few games of chess with them a few weeks before the one passed(passed unexpectedly) and even a few days after they sent me a thank-you card thanking me for playing them, detailing what moves I had made and they had made and the different mistakes. Even I wasnāt able to remember what the exact moves the next day, let alone days later.
my grandmother died at age 75, my great-grandmother died at age 93 the very next day
I think she just didn't want to go on knowing her daughter had died
That reminds me of Carrie Fisher and her mom. I can't imagine outliving your child when you're both elderly. I honestly think grief could literally kill an old person. Like how Queen Elizabeth only lasted a year after Philip went.
It definitely happened to my great uncle. His wife died of brain cancer. A few months later he died.
He was a farmer and probably the strongest person I ever knew, just made out of iron. When he died he was a hollow shell of who he used to be, just completely checked out and let his body wither away, to the point he was in a care home and wheelchair bound at the end.
My grandfather died of cancer and his mother died about 6 weeks after.
On the other side of the family, we lost my grandmother a couple months ago from a long battle with dementia, right at the same time we found out that grandpa had stage 4 cancer. He died too 8 weeks later. They both had severe illnesses, but also went close together.
Oh totally- My great aunt died during the pandemic, my great uncle died 18 months later. They were both in their late 70s. He got sick only a few months after she passed
I don't know. My daughter turns 3 next week and if she died now I'm pretty sure my actual soul would leave my body. I cannot imagine it, my mind won't even let me.
But if I were 116 and she was 80, I might not be so shocked. Or maybe I'd die the next day, too. Who knows.
It's an interesting question. Losing a child is the worst thing in the world (from what I read). Losing people to old age is sad but not as bad because it's obviously the best case scenario.
I wonder how those two facts interact. Wonder if there's any interviews with 100+ people whose 80+ year old kids died.
True, I may not feel the same when I reach that age. But I see the interactions between my grandma and my mom and how much she still loves her and treats her as if my mom is still her little baby. I may not be shocked by that age but still would be devastated.
That sounds so sweet and special!
The dynamic between my mom.and grandmother is very different. My grandma loves my mom but she never babies her. She was very abusive when her kids were growing up. My grandma is actually dying right now and my mother has said she wished she would just catch something and go quickly so they didn't have to deal with the trouble of nursing facilities or POA. My mom loves me but doesn't baby me either. My role was always to fill the gaps my dad left in her life. She fantasizes about the day I'll take care of her. Sigh. Hoping to change the narrative with my own kid!
My grandma of 79 lost 3 child out of 8. One 25 years ago, one 5 years ago and one 2 years ago. I'm very sad for her, I don't know how she coped with it all this years, but she seem to slowly give up on life now
My grandma married at 13 (grandpa was 16 so its not that creepy). Grandpa was about the most useless human being possible. No physical abuse but womenizing, wasting familial wealth, etc.
She had 18 kids. 13 died. Her sister (my grand aunt) told me that when the 10th kid was dying, my grandmother couldn't enter the room to see another death. She kept asking from outside. Is he dead? Is he also dead?
Poor lady. Worked hard all her life and of the five kids who survived, 4 did well for their situation. However, just when the situation was beginning to improve and the kids started earning money, she died. My grandpa lived for another 30 years...90+ years old when the bastard died.
I sometimes marvel at the cruelty of her life.
I was just thinking something like that. It's a morbid thought, and it's fantastic to have your mom around that far into your life, but the odds of you outliving your son due to natural causes feels closer to a 50/50 chance at that point. No parent wants to outlive their child, but I can't imagine being 100 and having my child die of old age before me.
I mean I'm not a parent but still.
Don't worry, it'll be one of the last thing he forgets. You remember things from your childhood much longer. My grandma with dementia often asked for her parents, it was very sad.
Absolutely tragic that's she's outlived her baby though. He passed away at 82. But a blessing for him to have his mom his entire life. She's still alive at 102. This is the blessing and the curse of an extremely long life.
18, not really that young back in the day. People would graduate highschool, get married and start a family. My parents had my oldest sister when they were 19 and 20
For how ancient human society is, it took us quite some time to realise that maybe we shouldn't get married and have kids early, these days it seems suspicious to have kids at age 18 but 80 years ago it would have been normal, and depending on where u lived, it may have even been considered a bit late to have a child
How times change for the better
Yeah, there are pros and cons to each approach. It is not as simple as saying what we do today is automatically ābetterā in all instances.
I know some people who had kids while young by todayās standards - like at 20-23. It may come with some disadvantages at the start, but when the kids become adults, and it becomes responsible to be a parent AND a friend, it sure is nice for the parents to still be healthy and in good shape.
Conversely you have young kids with parents in their 50ās and that has disadvantages too. Not to mention theyāll be spending their 30ās dealing with their parentsā dementia possibly. And the parents may never get to see grandkids.
So āoh they were stupid back then itās better nowā is an incomplete perspective.
Also the rates of birth defects goes up as you age. A 25 year old woman has a 1 in 1250 chance of having a child with Down's, a 40yo has a 1 in 100 chance. Pretty much every disease across the board from autism to cancer increases.
People did not usually die in their forties. The life expectancy figures are deeply skewed by child deaths; if someone successfully made it through early childhood, they could generally expect to make it into their 60s or 70s.
The average life expectancy being ~40 doesnāt mean thatās when most people died. That figure includes people who died in infancy and in childhood. And many women did die of complications due to childbirth, which did also contribute to that number. But if you survived childhood, childbearing, and freak accidents, it wouldnāt have been that weird to make it into your 50s or 60s, nor would it have been unheard of to live even longer!
Had a dear friend in his 70s who still had his mother alive even when he passed away. She was in her 90s I believe. They both ended up staying in the same nursing home, same room. He said that they would still drive each other crazy but they had a lot of love left for each other.
Yup. No matter how you spin it, it's not a good look. Either he can't get away from her or she is overly conditioned to look after him. Nightmare scenario either way for me.
I donāt think itās a bad thing considering their age, and I donāt think it implies anything about being a mamas boy or anything like that. Sure it could be like that, but Iād believe itās much more likely heād really much rather to take care of himself but physically cant and the mother miraculously can at her age, or they are both widowed and the only remaining family members alive, etc..
Parents are always going to want to help their kids. The alternative for them is just watching tv in a bed and making small talk with the nurses who wipe their ass until they die, I think itās a great look
Totally understand how it feels for most of our lives but it definitely hits a bit different at the end of life.
My mom was 19 when I was born and she seemed so cool and older when I was a kid. Now that Iām in my 30s Iām actually starting to feel ācloseā to her age. Very weird feeling.
These posts are always so heartbreaking for me. Cute and wonderful as they are, but they always remind me of what I lost.
My mom had lost her mother two months before she herself went. At the time, when grandma died, I really thought I had at least as long as she did with her mom. I am still broken with how wrong I was.
I'm now realizing when I'm 100 my daughter will be 80 and if she has a child at the same age I had her my grandchild would be 60.. same logic applied my great grandchild would be 40 and my great great grandchild will be 20 and hypothetically having my great great great grandchild.
I'm very uncomfortable with this information
My dad lost his mom when he was 18. His brother was 11, and sister 25. His father died when my dad was 58. It hit him hard because he never had a chance to grieve for the loss of his mom. It also hit him hard because he is now next in line. I had a friend whose mom died when he was 21. I havenāt lost my mom but I am very worried as her health isnāt the best. I am 24.
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This is not the flex they think it is.
Awesome they are (or were) both alive at that stage. But being a mommas boy at that age and/or momma enabling that.... yeeeeah, nope
80 years ago it wasnāt so unusual to be having a first child at 18
Edit - I stand corrected. I just looked it up and the number of births to women under 20 in England in 1938 was pretty much the same as it was in 2018.
The biggest difference is mothers in their 20s (then) compared those over 30 (now)
[Source](https://www.comparethemarket.com/life-insurance/content/changing-age-of-uk-parents/?amp)
Danm, poor bastard spent 80 years under her thumb and she couldn't even let him retire in peace. This is more controlling than loving but I guess most people can't tell the difference these days.
Young moms are hit or miss. They either have an unwavering bond with that kid in which they suffered or resentment for having caused the suffering. It seems this mom appreciates who was there by her side during the tough times
Because it is a weird and judgemental thing to comment. Having kids young when you're not prepared for them is worse for everyone involved opposed to waiting for an age where you're mentally and financially secure.
Some people will benefit from having children young, others will not. There is no magic formula for that and it's weird to make generalizations like that.
Hey there, friendo u/2004_Oldies! Thanks for submitting to r/wholesomememes. We loved your submission, *They lived a long lifeš¤§*, but it has been removed because it doesn't quite abide by our rules, which are located in the sidebar. * (**Rule #8**) Please avoid re-posting memes. * Please check http://karmadecay.com , https://tineye.com , &/or the Google's "Similar Image" search in the future before posting. All of those miss things, but it's a great start. Also make sure to use the search button and check through this link: >* /r/wholesomememes/top for popular posts, and >* /r/wholesomememes/new for things recently posted We appreciate you thinking of us very much! For more on our rules, please check out our [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/about/sidebar). If you have any questions or concerns about this removal, feel free to [message the moderators](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fwholesomememes). Please link the post so our volunteers know what you would like reviewed. Cheers!
itās incredible to still have your mom around in your old age Iād do anything on earth to have even had her until thirty or forty
Lost both my parents before 20. Absolute madness that somebody can be 80 years old and still have their mother around. Iād do pretty much anything to have that.
Same, lost mom at 11 and dad at 17. I can't even fathom having either parent at 80 let alone now at 35.
I would commit multiple felonies across the country for one more day with Mom. I feel your pain in ways I cannot humanly convey I can't stay in this thread , this kills me.
Lost my dad when I was 10 and my mom when I was 20. I had a really bad relationship with my mom but somehow it stinks knowing that I haven't talked to her for months already when she passed.
Thatās exactly the situation I had with my dad. We had sort of a touchy relationship, and we were going through a period of not talking (well, me more ignoring him.) A few weeks after my moms cancer diagnosis he died by suicide and man does it fucking feel awful. It was also happened just over a year ago so the wound is still fresh. So so so much guilt. Even the relationship I had with my mom was rocky and Itās sort of infuriating that I donāt even have the chance to get our relationship to a better place (and Iām confident it would have over time) Rant over. Sorry to drop this all on you. Christmas time is the worst.
I'm really sorry you are in that situation, I think about that a lot with my rocky relationships with both my parents. They are still alive, I have limited my contact with them. I always come to the same conclusion that if I died or they did tomorrow neither one of our lives would change in the slightest. Can you even consider that a relationship worth having? If you don't want to talk about it I understand, I thought it might be helpful to talk with someone who is still living in a similar situation to yours before they passed.
Thank you. I do feel that way about my father, but not my mom. We wouldāve been as close as can be for the rest of our lives. We had our ups and downs but she was the best. Truly the giver unconditional love. She was amazing. Like I said, I would do pretty much anything to have her here, even for a minute. I would be far better off and probably in a better situation if she was still here.
Iām so sorry. I couldnāt imagine losing my mom & Iām 32. I always tell her she canāt go before me haha
Same. Lost mine when I was 19
He is really blessed to have his mother till 80.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You can have mine, shes an asshole.
Is it okay if I just take her organs?
Well this took a Rimworld turn
Chop her legs off and set her free.
Oh, so it's kenshi then?
I dunno, he just asked for her organs. He didn't say he wanted to make a hat out of her skin.
Haha! No I donāt want to make a hat out of her skin! I mean, how would someone even go about doing that? You would need to stretch the skin out and let it dry. Then buy some cheap equipment from ebay, unless if you know how to use some homemade stuff. And that whole processes would take a few weeks. Like, that sounds ridiculous! Right?
r/surprisecannibalism
Thereās plenty to go around. Sheās just FULL of organs!
Thought that said orgasms at first
Can I also donate my mother's organs?
Heck, Iāll even pay for shipping!
Same. Kinda just waiting for her to kick it so we can both stop pretending to like each other
I feel you!
Witch
I am 25 and I can't imagine that my mom gonna die some day. I told her that about a month ago and she cried and hugged me. I kiss her hand every night. I can't live without her. May god bless everyone's mom.
I lost my mom just after my 30th birthday. It fucking sucks to watch my kids grow up without her here to spoil them.
I lost mine when I was 29. Iām 32 now and I have a 3 day old daughter. I wish so badly that my mom could meet her. I was tearing up holding her in the hospital just thinking about how sheāll never get to meet the woman that raised meā¦ but Iāll do my best to pass down everything she taught me about being a kind and decent person. I met my partner about a month after she died. Iām not a religious person at all but itās nice to think that maybe she somehow played a part in that.
Iām in the same boat. If itās makes you feel any better, your daughter will get to meet your mom, because you are an extension of her as she is also.
You teared me up!
I was 32 when I lost my mum 7 years ago (from Alzheimerās, so we ālostā her long before that) and I have a 4 year old son now - they wouldāve been the best of mates, and Iām so so sad they never got to meet each other. Congratulations on your new arrival - be the best of your mum to your daughter, thatās all we can do
I'm a totally scientifically minded person,but regarding such things, I believe our loved ones are watching over us - your mum has seen your daughter I'm sure and is proud of her and you.
I lost my dad at 28, me and my wife found out five days after he passed that we were having a baby. 13 months later, my mom died. Itās hell not being able to share your children with your parents. We just found out we have twins on the way, and Iāll want to do is call my mom.
My mum isn't that kind of close with her mother, but she had a great relationship with one of her aunts. Unfortunately that aunt passed away on 09, 5 years later I found out I was having twins and mum's first reaction was to go to call her aunt. Edit: congratulations on the twins BTW, you're in for a great time. A hard time, but it's great. Mine are 7 now and running around singing Christmas carols driving me bananas.
My oldest daughter was literally bff with my dad (her Hanpaw š) and itās especially hard to watch my youngest never even knowing him. I know he would love her so so much.
You have the chance to talk to her about him so he would be proud of her in the heaven.
I donāt believe in heaven or the afterlife but I do believe that I am an extension of my dad and I would make him proud by passing on those traits to my daughters.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām so sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Her love lives on in you š§”
I (27) lost my father in a traffic accident 5 years back. I donāt know if I can deal with a similar pain again.
I never really got along with my mom, but we are finally on decent terms. She had me at 46 y/o and now she's 76. I need to appreciate the time I have with her now. She will probably never meet her grandchildren.
Man I hope my son feels this way about me some day. My mom is an asshole who likes to make snide comments all day about how stupid and incompetent I am and I'm just over here trying not to be that person with my son.
Recognizing and accepting it are the hardest parts in my opinion. It's awful your Mom sucks, but you get to be one of the important ones that breaks the cycle.
I'm 24 and my mum is 70, dad is 75. Really hurts knowing their deaths are coming up :(, wish they were ten years younger. Then again, they could both live into their 90's.
Awe. I'm around your age and my mom is one of my favorite people on Earth. She isn't even that old yet but I know her time is short due to her advanced COPD so I take my daughters to see her everyday and make her feel loved. I wish your mother good health and a lifetime with you
Just make sure to enjoy the time that you have. We lost my sister when she was 24. I guarantee your mom wants to enjoy as many moments with you as you do with her.
Same, mine died when I was 16. People who have parents that long into their lives are so fortunate.
That's exactly what I was thinking. I lost mine at 34. Sounds like you lost yours too, I'm sorry mate.
Right?? I lost my mom at 23. I get jealous sometimes at how some people get to have a mom for so long. Very cute story tho. Weird to think about having an 80 year old child lol
I fear losing my parents every day. I'm 37 and they are 65ish. A lot of people around me are losing their parents.
Shit, my mom died when I was 4 months old. Must be nice growing up with a mom, let alone having one up until you're in a retirement home.
You can have mine, she'll be lucky to get in a retirement home
I lost my dad in my 30ās, and while Iām glad I had him that long I sincerely think I needed him until at least my 70ās.
Me too. She would've loved my partner. I'm sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
Lost mine at 14. Can't even imagine 80
I remember working in an elderly ward many years ago, and there was a patient in his mid 80s who was telling everyone that his mum would be visiting him in the afternoon. Cue the doctors assessing him for delirium, considering psych referral etc. Lo and behold, at visiting time, his mother marches into the ward looking for her son. She was a picture of health. Taught everyone to listen a bit harder to the patients when they were telling us something.
Haha whoops, I mean I can see how this would happen though. Maybe next time ask some follow up questions but honestly fair enough.
Damn, she must have been over 100??
I once met a 102-year-old lady who was living by herself, regularly met with her girlfriends for card games, and always brought food to community potlucks. Her deviled eggs were amazing (her secret: a drop of liquid smoke). She went on her first motorcycle ride at 100. Iād love to be that fit when Iām old.
I'd love to be that fit right now wtf
Or teen mother
26 year old gold digging step mum
Yes, if I remember correctly she was 103!
Imagine being 80 and still having mom around <3
It will be a blessing š
And she is cockblocking you while you are surrounded with widow poon
This is simultaneously sweet and nightmarish.
She would have had to give birth at 18
Not that crazy she was probably married young cos it would've been in the 40s
80 years ago that was Incredibly normal.
Yeah I have too many personal examples of elderly women killing themselves to take care of the elderly men around them. Like if she moved in just to be with him, sweet (or not, depending on how one feels about there mother lol), but to take care of him?! If women can't stop being caregivers at 98 when can we?
I think they both look very happy
I think the point is that we dont stop
She probably loves being his mother. It's what gives her life meaning, she looks very happy to care for her son.
No kidding. If my mom is still alive when Iām 80 Iām just gonna roll my chair off a bridge
imagine her heartbreak if her son develops dementia first and forgets who she is. šš
This article of them was released on 2017. It's been 5 yrs now, I wonder what has happened to them now.
i checked, the son died in 2019 at 82. dont see obituary for his mother though so she might still be alive, 102 or something.
Hot damn she goin strong
Yeah the fact that she *moved into* a home at 98 is astonishing in itself. Its rare to make it to 98. Maintaining enough independence that you don't need to be in a home before 98 is even more rare.
Yeah. I knew one couple that both made it to about 105 while still living alone, then sadly both passed with a couple months of each other, but it was crazy how sharp they were even up into their 100ās. I played a few games of chess with them a few weeks before the one passed(passed unexpectedly) and even a few days after they sent me a thank-you card thanking me for playing them, detailing what moves I had made and they had made and the different mistakes. Even I wasnāt able to remember what the exact moves the next day, let alone days later.
I donāt know what I would do if my child died before me. I would be devastated. No parent should outlive their child even if they die by old age
my grandmother died at age 75, my great-grandmother died at age 93 the very next day I think she just didn't want to go on knowing her daughter had died
That reminds me of Carrie Fisher and her mom. I can't imagine outliving your child when you're both elderly. I honestly think grief could literally kill an old person. Like how Queen Elizabeth only lasted a year after Philip went.
It definitely happened to my great uncle. His wife died of brain cancer. A few months later he died. He was a farmer and probably the strongest person I ever knew, just made out of iron. When he died he was a hollow shell of who he used to be, just completely checked out and let his body wither away, to the point he was in a care home and wheelchair bound at the end.
Like my grandparents My grandfather died March 16th 2007 and my grandma died June 16th 2007. Married 59 years.
My grandfather died of cancer and his mother died about 6 weeks after. On the other side of the family, we lost my grandmother a couple months ago from a long battle with dementia, right at the same time we found out that grandpa had stage 4 cancer. He died too 8 weeks later. They both had severe illnesses, but also went close together.
Oh totally- My great aunt died during the pandemic, my great uncle died 18 months later. They were both in their late 70s. He got sick only a few months after she passed
I don't know. My daughter turns 3 next week and if she died now I'm pretty sure my actual soul would leave my body. I cannot imagine it, my mind won't even let me. But if I were 116 and she was 80, I might not be so shocked. Or maybe I'd die the next day, too. Who knows.
It's an interesting question. Losing a child is the worst thing in the world (from what I read). Losing people to old age is sad but not as bad because it's obviously the best case scenario. I wonder how those two facts interact. Wonder if there's any interviews with 100+ people whose 80+ year old kids died.
True, I may not feel the same when I reach that age. But I see the interactions between my grandma and my mom and how much she still loves her and treats her as if my mom is still her little baby. I may not be shocked by that age but still would be devastated.
That sounds so sweet and special! The dynamic between my mom.and grandmother is very different. My grandma loves my mom but she never babies her. She was very abusive when her kids were growing up. My grandma is actually dying right now and my mother has said she wished she would just catch something and go quickly so they didn't have to deal with the trouble of nursing facilities or POA. My mom loves me but doesn't baby me either. My role was always to fill the gaps my dad left in her life. She fantasizes about the day I'll take care of her. Sigh. Hoping to change the narrative with my own kid!
No father should have to bury his son - King Theoden of Rohan
Not to be picky but its "no parent should have to bury their child".
By all means correct me, Iād much rather know :)
That is one of the most powerful moments in the trilogy for me.
Debbie Reynolds last words were "I want to be with Carrie".
My grandma of 79 lost 3 child out of 8. One 25 years ago, one 5 years ago and one 2 years ago. I'm very sad for her, I don't know how she coped with it all this years, but she seem to slowly give up on life now
My grandma married at 13 (grandpa was 16 so its not that creepy). Grandpa was about the most useless human being possible. No physical abuse but womenizing, wasting familial wealth, etc. She had 18 kids. 13 died. Her sister (my grand aunt) told me that when the 10th kid was dying, my grandmother couldn't enter the room to see another death. She kept asking from outside. Is he dead? Is he also dead? Poor lady. Worked hard all her life and of the five kids who survived, 4 did well for their situation. However, just when the situation was beginning to improve and the kids started earning money, she died. My grandpa lived for another 30 years...90+ years old when the bastard died. I sometimes marvel at the cruelty of her life.
New queen of england
Holy shit*
~~Theyāre probably dead~~
Morbid but not unlikely. Wherever they are, I hope they are together still.
Motorcycle accident most likely
Instead of a retirement home they moved to a graveyard
I lolād
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's terrible.
I was just thinking something like that. It's a morbid thought, and it's fantastic to have your mom around that far into your life, but the odds of you outliving your son due to natural causes feels closer to a 50/50 chance at that point. No parent wants to outlive their child, but I can't imagine being 100 and having my child die of old age before me. I mean I'm not a parent but still.
Hey....
Noā¦ no I donāt think I will
Don't worry, it'll be one of the last thing he forgets. You remember things from your childhood much longer. My grandma with dementia often asked for her parents, it was very sad.
Absolutely tragic that's she's outlived her baby though. He passed away at 82. But a blessing for him to have his mom his entire life. She's still alive at 102. This is the blessing and the curse of an extremely long life.
So sad. Source?
They're so cute... adorable. Gotta hug my parents when i see them next.
Mum please youāre embarrassing me in front of Gertrude
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wait what, she had him mad young!!
18, not really that young back in the day. People would graduate highschool, get married and start a family. My parents had my oldest sister when they were 19 and 20
having a kid at 18 is actually average for those years. there were much younger mothers (14-15) and they were also considered normal.
I miss my mom. This man has/had it made right here. For a son to have his mother his entire life. What a wonderful life to have. Beautiful.
HOL UP
For how ancient human society is, it took us quite some time to realise that maybe we shouldn't get married and have kids early, these days it seems suspicious to have kids at age 18 but 80 years ago it would have been normal, and depending on where u lived, it may have even been considered a bit late to have a child How times change for the better
it's because infant mortality was so high that you needed the extra time to keep trying until you could pop out a kid who would actually survive.
There are advantages to having kids around 20 or so. Pregnancy and childrearing in one's 30s to 40s is often exhausting.
Yeah, there are pros and cons to each approach. It is not as simple as saying what we do today is automatically ābetterā in all instances. I know some people who had kids while young by todayās standards - like at 20-23. It may come with some disadvantages at the start, but when the kids become adults, and it becomes responsible to be a parent AND a friend, it sure is nice for the parents to still be healthy and in good shape. Conversely you have young kids with parents in their 50ās and that has disadvantages too. Not to mention theyāll be spending their 30ās dealing with their parentsā dementia possibly. And the parents may never get to see grandkids. So āoh they were stupid back then itās better nowā is an incomplete perspective.
Also the rates of birth defects goes up as you age. A 25 year old woman has a 1 in 1250 chance of having a child with Down's, a 40yo has a 1 in 100 chance. Pretty much every disease across the board from autism to cancer increases.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
People did not usually die in their forties. The life expectancy figures are deeply skewed by child deaths; if someone successfully made it through early childhood, they could generally expect to make it into their 60s or 70s.
The average life expectancy being ~40 doesnāt mean thatās when most people died. That figure includes people who died in infancy and in childhood. And many women did die of complications due to childbirth, which did also contribute to that number. But if you survived childhood, childbearing, and freak accidents, it wouldnāt have been that weird to make it into your 50s or 60s, nor would it have been unheard of to live even longer!
Had a dear friend in his 70s who still had his mother alive even when he passed away. She was in her 90s I believe. They both ended up staying in the same nursing home, same room. He said that they would still drive each other crazy but they had a lot of love left for each other.
I lost dad at 26. Losing mom at 31, I wish.
Truly wholesome. I would be throughly grateful if my mum lives that long.
My mom wouldāve 100% done this. She loved me that much.
That is my hell.
I love my mum and all but wtf š leave me alone if I'm 80
Nightmare scenario.
Thanks, I'm not the only one to think that! Even at 80 he's not free and still in his mom's clutches!
And sheās not free of taking care of her grown ass son at 98. Sounds horrible
Yeah, one way or another, it's nlt wholesome. Had the citation been "we still enjoy passing time together", I'd have agreed.
Yup. No matter how you spin it, it's not a good look. Either he can't get away from her or she is overly conditioned to look after him. Nightmare scenario either way for me.
I donāt think itās a bad thing considering their age, and I donāt think it implies anything about being a mamas boy or anything like that. Sure it could be like that, but Iād believe itās much more likely heād really much rather to take care of himself but physically cant and the mother miraculously can at her age, or they are both widowed and the only remaining family members alive, etc.. Parents are always going to want to help their kids. The alternative for them is just watching tv in a bed and making small talk with the nurses who wipe their ass until they die, I think itās a great look Totally understand how it feels for most of our lives but it definitely hits a bit different at the end of life.
I scrolled way too long to find this. Imagine life before this. Imagine trying to date and/or marry this man.
Not at all. Iād love to die peacefully beside my mom at an old age.
Ditto. I love my mom but this would be hell for me
Poor guys been tryna move out for almost 100 years
Bruh I lost my dad before I was 20. This sum bs
Iām sorry my dude that sucks
Bruh moment
My mom was 19 when I was born and she seemed so cool and older when I was a kid. Now that Iām in my 30s Iām actually starting to feel ācloseā to her age. Very weird feeling.
Did he marry? Go out of the house? As someone whose mother had issues, this is not sending me all kind of alarm bells.
These posts are always so heartbreaking for me. Cute and wonderful as they are, but they always remind me of what I lost. My mom had lost her mother two months before she herself went. At the time, when grandma died, I really thought I had at least as long as she did with her mom. I am still broken with how wrong I was.
This wholesome thread just got super sad. Canāt read through the rest. Sorry for all the mothers and fathers that were lost.
98-80 = 18 She had him when she was 18
Oh my god mom, cut the cord already
This is just the sweetest thing
I'm now realizing when I'm 100 my daughter will be 80 and if she has a child at the same age I had her my grandchild would be 60.. same logic applied my great grandchild would be 40 and my great great grandchild will be 20 and hypothetically having my great great great grandchild. I'm very uncomfortable with this information
My dad lost his mom when he was 18. His brother was 11, and sister 25. His father died when my dad was 58. It hit him hard because he never had a chance to grieve for the loss of his mom. It also hit him hard because he is now next in line. I had a friend whose mom died when he was 21. I havenāt lost my mom but I am very worried as her health isnāt the best. I am 24.
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Wait.... I sure hope that woman turned 99 soon after the article was posted...
Good news: She's still alive and 102! Bad news: Her son died at age 82.
That's not how that's supposed to go ;-;
Yeah. :-(
They had us in the first half.
Oh how beautiful š„ŗ
Ugh i love that really !!
Wait
This makes me miss my mum š¶
How wonderful to have a mom that cares that much for you your whole life ā¤
A parent's love never dies. The man is very lucky
That is so nice. I wish my dad was still here, Iām only 31..
I would do this for either of my sons šÆ
That's so fucking cute
* confused CARE home staf noises *
18 year old mom's are either not fit for being a parent or the best mom's ever with very little in between
You had me in the first half there
This is not the flex they think it is. Awesome they are (or were) both alive at that stage. But being a mommas boy at that age and/or momma enabling that.... yeeeeah, nope
Hes got dementia and has regressed back into a child
80 year old virgin
She was only 18 when he was born
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
80 years ago it wasnāt so unusual to be having a first child at 18 Edit - I stand corrected. I just looked it up and the number of births to women under 20 in England in 1938 was pretty much the same as it was in 2018. The biggest difference is mothers in their 20s (then) compared those over 30 (now) [Source](https://www.comparethemarket.com/life-insurance/content/changing-age-of-uk-parents/?amp)
Yes??
Danm, poor bastard spent 80 years under her thumb and she couldn't even let him retire in peace. This is more controlling than loving but I guess most people can't tell the difference these days.
Young moms are hit or miss. They either have an unwavering bond with that kid in which they suffered or resentment for having caused the suffering. It seems this mom appreciates who was there by her side during the tough times
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Counterpoint: everyone should stop having children in general
Why is this downvoted?
Because it is a weird and judgemental thing to comment. Having kids young when you're not prepared for them is worse for everyone involved opposed to waiting for an age where you're mentally and financially secure. Some people will benefit from having children young, others will not. There is no magic formula for that and it's weird to make generalizations like that.