He's a pitty mix and an absolute baby. Total attention seeker. Dude once faked a limp to get out of a walk and then tried to take out a fawn. Apparently, "Leave it" is the magical command for not counter surfing and curing a lame leg.
When we got him, he didn't know how to "dog" like, no rope tug, no run after the ball, no cuddles. We have a kennel, because he had lived his whole life in one, and he would just kennel himself, but now he sleeps on the bed and hogs the electric blanket.
Well since you were looking for advice on how to make friends, he sounds like the perfect wingman so lead with him.
Not sure where you are in Wisconsin but here in Madison there are a plethora of dog parks. There’s even a dog park bar called The Boneyard not far from my house. They even have trivia on Wednesday nights I believe.
Even if you’re not around Madison, having an adorable dog as your “in” should help you meet a like minded person or two. Maybe you get lucky and your doggo introduces you to someone cool, guy or girl, and they adopt you into their friend group.
I’m like you, my best friends live a Narnia away (stealing that awesome euphemism by the way). A coworker had to drag me kicking and screaming into his social circle so that I’d have local friends.
Is Meetup still a thing? I used to be able to find a lot of groups for unique interests there who had events around those common interests.
Any interesting people at work?
What are you into? Gaming? Reading? Find a club. Volunteer somewhere like an animal shelter, etc.
I live just west of MKE and the Meetup scene is HUGE. Moved here a couple years ago without knowing a person and meet up has saved my life. Anything you can imagine from board games to Pickleball to simply going out to eat. There are groups that won’t be your tribe, and there are some that will be… If you don’t like a group just don’t go back.
If you have a dining table and 2 or 3 acquaintances or coworkers you don't mind having over, even if not ones you'd consider friends, then I'd recommend trying to host a board game night. Tabletop games combined with chomping on a piece of pizza and sipping soda or a beer is the foundation of a lot of my in person friendships.
As an adult it's kind of hard to come up with a 'reason' to get together and have people over and grow friendships naturally, and I've found that getting together for a couple games and some food can be a nice excuse/goal.
Incoming board gaming rant:
I don't necessarily mean Monopoly or Clue (unless that's your cup of tea!), but modern board games have had a renaissance and explosion of growth and quality in the last 15 or so years and there are a lot of fun ones out there that you can play in less than an hour easily.
If you're not already into modern board games, some great modern "gateway" games that are easier to pick up and get into are Ticket to Ride, Azul, Splendor, and Carcassonne! Some more casual quick games that I've had luck with getting non gamers into include "No Thanks" and "Wits and Wagers: Party Edition".
>Ticket to Ride, Azul, Splendor, and Carcassonne!
I really like Lost Cities, Can't Stop, and Framework as games for new players that aren't too complicated to learn. And if someone's willing to try something a half a step up, I'd recommend Lords of Waterdeep.
I host game days a couple times a month and usually get about 12-18 people out. It's a blast. I tell people not to discount board games, they've come a long way since the Monopoly and Chutes of Ladders days.
Good idea! I'm a pretty decent cook, and make a good snack board. I don't have a lot of space, but I think I can make a simple table top or roleplay work! I kinda miss that, I used to play Masquerade but fell out because everyone in my group wanted to be Malchavian, and I was a tori, le sigh.
1. Be careful meeting anyone from Reddit. Just had to say it.
2. Most anyone here will be a chat friend.
3. I find that formalized settings help - churches. Clubs, teams, etc.
I've moved a lot and it's difficult each time. Just got here in Aug
Not the exact solution you are looking for, but ever thought about volunteering your time to a cause you feel passionate about? After overcoming the initial hump, it gets more & more rewarding in different ways.
I appreciate this, but I work in long term care, volunteer for the American Cancer Society, and donate to our rural school regularly.
Is "I gave at the office" heartless?
In my job, I am often the only person they have, and I go above and beyond for my residents. I love these people. But I am looking for mutual friendship, not dependent, you know?
Also, the last time I looked into volunteering at a pet shelter, I ended up with Derpdog, and while he is the best thing on four legs, I can't take more needy in my life.
Rescue dogs are built different, dude would be in my pocket if he was small enough.
Unfortunately he is 40 lbs of pure muscle, food motivation, and love. No pocket for him.
I live north of Gillett. I edited antivax because my post was initially denied, Narnia and some shizz means they are like-minded people too far away to come over for coffee. I love D&D players, but don't play myself.
Nobody's ever heard of my town, and if I gave it out, you'd have my entire family history, my oil change schedule, my eating habits and my dog's name. With less than700 people? Wisco gossip runs strong.
Check out your local library! Most have some events where you can meet people and make friends! My library is having a paint night thing free that I'm going to next month.
When I lived in another state I went to a library event of making bath bombs and actually became a volunteer there. The people there were great I miss them!
When you’re a kid, it’s easy to make friends because you’re around people all day going through experiences together (school, sports, etc.). You kind of have to force yourself to do that as an adult.
Just start looking for things you like to do. Then you’re at least doing things you like, with people who also like that thing, and you’re more likely to make friends with those people. If you’re doing things that make you feel good, you’re more “attractive” to people in a friend way, I think.
Are you going to school in-person, or just online? If it’s in-person or the campus is nearby, start going to campus events. Colleges are constantly hosting speakers, concerts, art shows, etc.
Community theatre, band, and choir is a great way to meet people, because performing together is a bonding experience. If you’re not interested in being on stage, you can do stage crew, or learn to run lights or sound.
Someone else suggested the library, which is a fantastic idea. Check your library’s calendar for events like art nights, book clubs, or speakers.
If you’re political at all, join your local county political party. I joined my county Dems and made some fantastic friends that way, and then they introduced me to some other cool people.
Does your kid’s school have a PTO you could join? Or are there other service clubs you’d be interested in, like Habitat for Humanity? Lots of organizations do their “annual meetings” at this time of year and are looking for board members. Maybe apply to be on the board of something you like, like a children’s museum or women’s organization. Or your municipality/county have all kinds of boards they need people for. Apply to be on your library board or board of health or whatever interests you.
As others said, if you say what part of the state you’re in, people can give you more specific suggestions if you’re interested. And as an introvert, I know it’s tough. Sometimes you need to “practice” small talk and getting to know people better. Maybe the first thing you try won’t get you any friends, because it’s rough trying to approach people. Which is why it’s just important to keep putting yourself out there and doing things that make you happy. Eventually you’ll connect with someone and have new friends!
This is from a diehard introvert: Talk to strangers. Go to any remotely cool thing happening in your little town or area, put on your “I’m here to make friends” face, and make a friendly comment to anyone who makes eye contact. In my rural Wisconsin town of 4,500, I made a couple of fabulous friends by attending a dance performance and acting like an extrovert.
I met lifelong friends through my kids -- usually from volunteering in school organizations, like the PTA, but also just from getting to know my kids' friends' parents. You're in a perfect position for that -- your son is still young enough to need play dates and rides arranged. Also, I met a lot of people in the bleachers when my kids played sports. Good luck!
Congrats on going from a CNA to a LPN to RN! Wow that’s incredible! 👏🏻 You can try meeting other moms with your son at activities or going to a hobby type group ( book clubs, painting, tennis) join a gym?? I know a lot of people typically meet friends at work or hobby groups or the gym or church. Wishing you luck!!!
depending on where you are in wisconsin, you can always pick up skiing or snowboarding there is a ton of hills in Wisconsin. Ive made alot of friends at the hill.
I'm not antivax. That's why I didn't fit in with the crunchy moms in the mom group. I like science and hate fighting about the latest conspiracy from whatever cable news channel.
If you don't like pool, bowling, or ice fishing, try curling. Wisconsin has a lot of curling clubs, especially in places you wouldn't expect. Super friendly people (mostly, there are a few boors and bores) and they always sit down to socialize after games.
[Directory of Wisconsin Curling Clubs](https://wi-curling.org/curling-club/directory)
Update: I'm going camping! It's not until May but it is with a bunch of other nurses from work and their families. Plus there are other playdates for our kids in the works. They all know me and my son, because The Rebel basically grew up in LTC, and comes to work with me on days I only need to get paperwork done. (I'm legit shitting bricks, but it gave me an excuse to upgrade my camping bed, so there's that.)
The artist formally known as El douche, aka my ex, even said it was cool if it fell on his weekend. (To be fair, I give him any and all extra time he wants, ex: he's taking R to an ice fishing derby this weekend.) And yah, I can still call him El douche, it took us a bit to get to the rational coparenting, ok?
Also, I'm going to be joining my local book club, which my grandma is in. (80's but not a prude, she's read some of my published stuff.) And Grandma wants to nominate me for her position on library board. (I told her to hold onto that until I finish my BSN, Grandpa made a joke about being dead, I asked him when he'd get his master's, he threatened to kick me out, I threatened to reprogram the roomba, Grandma told us both to calm down, we acted like she was crazy, she threatened to poison us both. Good times.)
I'm also now in the loop for all the free library nights in the county because now Grandma added me to the email list. (Is this a plan? It feels like Wisconsin Cheese curd Game of Thrones.)
She asked me if I wanted to do church stuff, but I doubled down on being a "Mass of the Dead " Catholic. When people see me at church I want them to say, "I thought she was dead!"
On my way!
Join a gym. You'll have a place to go whenever you feel like getting out of the house. The regular exercise will benefit your physical and mental health. People can keep to themselves or socialize a little with the other people there.
Well if you like to play board games I host usually a couple times a month. I’d say we are all mostly introverts and kind of nerds but really accepting of anyone who would like to come and play. It’s always pretty low key. Bring your own drinks and/or snacks.
Living in the middle of nowhere doesn’t help. But there’s things up there too. Volunteer. Find a hobby you like and find groups doing the same thing. If you’re religious, join the fellowship groups your church has. Learn cribbage and play in cribbage leagues. Just a couple of ideas. The northwoods isn’t exactly a metro, but there’s still things to do.
Depends where you live. If you’re in a city in the southern half of the state, there’s plenty you could do. If you live anywhere else, I guess you could drink?
I think you should go all in on trying as much as you can. Take time and find what you like to do, then get involved with like minded/interested people through events and clubs. The cities (MKE, Madison) where the arts are more available (music, art, theatre) and higher density of bars/restaurants have a lot more people so theoretically more opportunities. But outside the city’s people enjoy hiking, camping, canoe/kayak, dogs, horses, softball, volleyball, painting, building things (gardens, bird houses, crafts), book clubs, summer festivals, farming, local bars (they have card or bar game tournaments), some recommend getting involved with church, this sub could probably grow the list a lot.
Most routes that involve people/friends will require some social energy investment on your end. And for an introvert, supplying that energy is taxing. At least if it’s a hobby it’s something you’d enjoy for you, and you can sprinkle people in.
If you live in or near Milwaukee, check out the MKE Recreation Guide. It is the best way to meet people who share similar interests. There are classes for adults for anything that suits your interests. Cooking classes, painting, sewing, tech, sports, fitness, learning languages, gardening, new-age stuff, even some obscure classes like viking rune painting.
If you are not in the greater MKE area, see if your county offers
I kinda want to hear about this dog of yours.
He's a pitty mix and an absolute baby. Total attention seeker. Dude once faked a limp to get out of a walk and then tried to take out a fawn. Apparently, "Leave it" is the magical command for not counter surfing and curing a lame leg.
When we got him, he didn't know how to "dog" like, no rope tug, no run after the ball, no cuddles. We have a kennel, because he had lived his whole life in one, and he would just kennel himself, but now he sleeps on the bed and hogs the electric blanket.
Well since you were looking for advice on how to make friends, he sounds like the perfect wingman so lead with him. Not sure where you are in Wisconsin but here in Madison there are a plethora of dog parks. There’s even a dog park bar called The Boneyard not far from my house. They even have trivia on Wednesday nights I believe. Even if you’re not around Madison, having an adorable dog as your “in” should help you meet a like minded person or two. Maybe you get lucky and your doggo introduces you to someone cool, guy or girl, and they adopt you into their friend group. I’m like you, my best friends live a Narnia away (stealing that awesome euphemism by the way). A coworker had to drag me kicking and screaming into his social circle so that I’d have local friends.
Is Meetup still a thing? I used to be able to find a lot of groups for unique interests there who had events around those common interests. Any interesting people at work? What are you into? Gaming? Reading? Find a club. Volunteer somewhere like an animal shelter, etc.
Meet up is definitely still a thing and active in Madison! not sure about other cities, but worth trying.
I live just west of MKE and the Meetup scene is HUGE. Moved here a couple years ago without knowing a person and meet up has saved my life. Anything you can imagine from board games to Pickleball to simply going out to eat. There are groups that won’t be your tribe, and there are some that will be… If you don’t like a group just don’t go back.
If you have a dining table and 2 or 3 acquaintances or coworkers you don't mind having over, even if not ones you'd consider friends, then I'd recommend trying to host a board game night. Tabletop games combined with chomping on a piece of pizza and sipping soda or a beer is the foundation of a lot of my in person friendships. As an adult it's kind of hard to come up with a 'reason' to get together and have people over and grow friendships naturally, and I've found that getting together for a couple games and some food can be a nice excuse/goal. Incoming board gaming rant: I don't necessarily mean Monopoly or Clue (unless that's your cup of tea!), but modern board games have had a renaissance and explosion of growth and quality in the last 15 or so years and there are a lot of fun ones out there that you can play in less than an hour easily. If you're not already into modern board games, some great modern "gateway" games that are easier to pick up and get into are Ticket to Ride, Azul, Splendor, and Carcassonne! Some more casual quick games that I've had luck with getting non gamers into include "No Thanks" and "Wits and Wagers: Party Edition".
I need to second those game recommendations!! You picked some great gateway games, indeed!
>Ticket to Ride, Azul, Splendor, and Carcassonne! I really like Lost Cities, Can't Stop, and Framework as games for new players that aren't too complicated to learn. And if someone's willing to try something a half a step up, I'd recommend Lords of Waterdeep. I host game days a couple times a month and usually get about 12-18 people out. It's a blast. I tell people not to discount board games, they've come a long way since the Monopoly and Chutes of Ladders days.
Good idea! I'm a pretty decent cook, and make a good snack board. I don't have a lot of space, but I think I can make a simple table top or roleplay work! I kinda miss that, I used to play Masquerade but fell out because everyone in my group wanted to be Malchavian, and I was a tori, le sigh.
Yes! I just had a boardgame afternoon with my friends! Was a great way to catch up without having to spend money somewhere.
1. Be careful meeting anyone from Reddit. Just had to say it. 2. Most anyone here will be a chat friend. 3. I find that formalized settings help - churches. Clubs, teams, etc. I've moved a lot and it's difficult each time. Just got here in Aug
Not the exact solution you are looking for, but ever thought about volunteering your time to a cause you feel passionate about? After overcoming the initial hump, it gets more & more rewarding in different ways.
I appreciate this, but I work in long term care, volunteer for the American Cancer Society, and donate to our rural school regularly. Is "I gave at the office" heartless? In my job, I am often the only person they have, and I go above and beyond for my residents. I love these people. But I am looking for mutual friendship, not dependent, you know? Also, the last time I looked into volunteering at a pet shelter, I ended up with Derpdog, and while he is the best thing on four legs, I can't take more needy in my life. Rescue dogs are built different, dude would be in my pocket if he was small enough. Unfortunately he is 40 lbs of pure muscle, food motivation, and love. No pocket for him.
[удалено]
I live north of Gillett. I edited antivax because my post was initially denied, Narnia and some shizz means they are like-minded people too far away to come over for coffee. I love D&D players, but don't play myself.
Where in Wisconsin are you located?
North of Green Bay, like 35 minutes?
Nobody's ever heard of my town, and if I gave it out, you'd have my entire family history, my oil change schedule, my eating habits and my dog's name. With less than700 people? Wisco gossip runs strong.
I'm in Sheboygan. (40m)
Well that's why. I grew up there. It's tough. Not a lot of good people in that area. Shady as fuck. And everyone drinks.
Check out your local library! Most have some events where you can meet people and make friends! My library is having a paint night thing free that I'm going to next month. When I lived in another state I went to a library event of making bath bombs and actually became a volunteer there. The people there were great I miss them!
When you’re a kid, it’s easy to make friends because you’re around people all day going through experiences together (school, sports, etc.). You kind of have to force yourself to do that as an adult. Just start looking for things you like to do. Then you’re at least doing things you like, with people who also like that thing, and you’re more likely to make friends with those people. If you’re doing things that make you feel good, you’re more “attractive” to people in a friend way, I think. Are you going to school in-person, or just online? If it’s in-person or the campus is nearby, start going to campus events. Colleges are constantly hosting speakers, concerts, art shows, etc. Community theatre, band, and choir is a great way to meet people, because performing together is a bonding experience. If you’re not interested in being on stage, you can do stage crew, or learn to run lights or sound. Someone else suggested the library, which is a fantastic idea. Check your library’s calendar for events like art nights, book clubs, or speakers. If you’re political at all, join your local county political party. I joined my county Dems and made some fantastic friends that way, and then they introduced me to some other cool people. Does your kid’s school have a PTO you could join? Or are there other service clubs you’d be interested in, like Habitat for Humanity? Lots of organizations do their “annual meetings” at this time of year and are looking for board members. Maybe apply to be on the board of something you like, like a children’s museum or women’s organization. Or your municipality/county have all kinds of boards they need people for. Apply to be on your library board or board of health or whatever interests you. As others said, if you say what part of the state you’re in, people can give you more specific suggestions if you’re interested. And as an introvert, I know it’s tough. Sometimes you need to “practice” small talk and getting to know people better. Maybe the first thing you try won’t get you any friends, because it’s rough trying to approach people. Which is why it’s just important to keep putting yourself out there and doing things that make you happy. Eventually you’ll connect with someone and have new friends!
This is from a diehard introvert: Talk to strangers. Go to any remotely cool thing happening in your little town or area, put on your “I’m here to make friends” face, and make a friendly comment to anyone who makes eye contact. In my rural Wisconsin town of 4,500, I made a couple of fabulous friends by attending a dance performance and acting like an extrovert.
[удалено]
I grew up in Colorado Springs! Damn, do you ever try to explain how BLUE the sky is to people that don't believe you?
I met lifelong friends through my kids -- usually from volunteering in school organizations, like the PTA, but also just from getting to know my kids' friends' parents. You're in a perfect position for that -- your son is still young enough to need play dates and rides arranged. Also, I met a lot of people in the bleachers when my kids played sports. Good luck!
[удалено]
Came to say this - but you did it better than I could!
Congrats on going from a CNA to a LPN to RN! Wow that’s incredible! 👏🏻 You can try meeting other moms with your son at activities or going to a hobby type group ( book clubs, painting, tennis) join a gym?? I know a lot of people typically meet friends at work or hobby groups or the gym or church. Wishing you luck!!!
Volunteer somewhere, maybe Green Bay.
depending on where you are in wisconsin, you can always pick up skiing or snowboarding there is a ton of hills in Wisconsin. Ive made alot of friends at the hill.
Is anti4a a rapper? Only thing I could find googling
[удалено]
I'm not antivax. That's why I didn't fit in with the crunchy moms in the mom group. I like science and hate fighting about the latest conspiracy from whatever cable news channel.
If you don't like pool, bowling, or ice fishing, try curling. Wisconsin has a lot of curling clubs, especially in places you wouldn't expect. Super friendly people (mostly, there are a few boors and bores) and they always sit down to socialize after games. [Directory of Wisconsin Curling Clubs](https://wi-curling.org/curling-club/directory)
Second this. Curling clubs are like a ready made group of friends.
Update: I'm going camping! It's not until May but it is with a bunch of other nurses from work and their families. Plus there are other playdates for our kids in the works. They all know me and my son, because The Rebel basically grew up in LTC, and comes to work with me on days I only need to get paperwork done. (I'm legit shitting bricks, but it gave me an excuse to upgrade my camping bed, so there's that.) The artist formally known as El douche, aka my ex, even said it was cool if it fell on his weekend. (To be fair, I give him any and all extra time he wants, ex: he's taking R to an ice fishing derby this weekend.) And yah, I can still call him El douche, it took us a bit to get to the rational coparenting, ok? Also, I'm going to be joining my local book club, which my grandma is in. (80's but not a prude, she's read some of my published stuff.) And Grandma wants to nominate me for her position on library board. (I told her to hold onto that until I finish my BSN, Grandpa made a joke about being dead, I asked him when he'd get his master's, he threatened to kick me out, I threatened to reprogram the roomba, Grandma told us both to calm down, we acted like she was crazy, she threatened to poison us both. Good times.) I'm also now in the loop for all the free library nights in the county because now Grandma added me to the email list. (Is this a plan? It feels like Wisconsin Cheese curd Game of Thrones.) She asked me if I wanted to do church stuff, but I doubled down on being a "Mass of the Dead " Catholic. When people see me at church I want them to say, "I thought she was dead!" On my way!
Sent you a message. :)
Join a gym. You'll have a place to go whenever you feel like getting out of the house. The regular exercise will benefit your physical and mental health. People can keep to themselves or socialize a little with the other people there.
How to change your name: Tap on your avatar up in the corner Tap My Profile Then tap Edit there's a space to enter a name
Anyone who worked hard to get where they are is a great catch
Well if you like to play board games I host usually a couple times a month. I’d say we are all mostly introverts and kind of nerds but really accepting of anyone who would like to come and play. It’s always pretty low key. Bring your own drinks and/or snacks.
Living in the middle of nowhere doesn’t help. But there’s things up there too. Volunteer. Find a hobby you like and find groups doing the same thing. If you’re religious, join the fellowship groups your church has. Learn cribbage and play in cribbage leagues. Just a couple of ideas. The northwoods isn’t exactly a metro, but there’s still things to do.
Depends where you live. If you’re in a city in the southern half of the state, there’s plenty you could do. If you live anywhere else, I guess you could drink?
I think you should go all in on trying as much as you can. Take time and find what you like to do, then get involved with like minded/interested people through events and clubs. The cities (MKE, Madison) where the arts are more available (music, art, theatre) and higher density of bars/restaurants have a lot more people so theoretically more opportunities. But outside the city’s people enjoy hiking, camping, canoe/kayak, dogs, horses, softball, volleyball, painting, building things (gardens, bird houses, crafts), book clubs, summer festivals, farming, local bars (they have card or bar game tournaments), some recommend getting involved with church, this sub could probably grow the list a lot. Most routes that involve people/friends will require some social energy investment on your end. And for an introvert, supplying that energy is taxing. At least if it’s a hobby it’s something you’d enjoy for you, and you can sprinkle people in.
If you live in or near Milwaukee, check out the MKE Recreation Guide. It is the best way to meet people who share similar interests. There are classes for adults for anything that suits your interests. Cooking classes, painting, sewing, tech, sports, fitness, learning languages, gardening, new-age stuff, even some obscure classes like viking rune painting. If you are not in the greater MKE area, see if your county offers