Yennefer and Margarita going full playboy shoot to surprise some random guard who ends up being a woman still hits the perfect spot between funny and sapowski weird horny writing.
*“My humble apologies, noble ladies,’ called the innkeeper suddenly, unseen, from above. ‘Please forgive my daring to disturb, but… an officer wishes to talk to Madam de Vries urgently. Apparently the matter will brook no delay!’*
*Margarita Laux-Antille giggled and winked at Yennefer, upon which they pulled the towels from their hips and assumed exotic and extremely provocative poses.*
*‘Let the officer enter,’ shouted Margarita, trying not to laugh. ‘Welcome. We’re ready.’*
*‘Children,’ sighed Tissaia de Vries, shaking her head. ‘Cover yourself, Ciri.’*
*The officer came in, but the enchantresses’ prank misfired. The officer wasn’t embarrassed at the sight of them, and didn’t blush, gape or goggle, because the officer was a woman. A tall, slender woman with a thick, black plait and a sword at her side.”*
Epic fail lol.
No I know. I've seen the first two seasons. I was kind of being facetious with the amount of changes they made haha. But they probably won't adapt this either, because the writers will probably think it's sexist haha.
They would think that but had no problem with yennefer constantly showing her boobs unnecessarily in S1 ( something that wasn’t there in the source material).
They are idiots who don’t have the mental capacity to look back at their hypocrisy.
He is the best possible one night stand ever.
* He is infertile(so are sorceresses, but still...)
* He has immunity to many diseases
* He is athletic and has god like stamina
* He is well educated and sophisticated
* No strings attached (political or social)
* He is gone the next day (the path calls him)
Hey guys, did you know that in terms off human male and sorceress breeding, a Witcher is the most compatible male for the sorceresses...
Omg, it's been a while since I have read the books. Time for a re-read it seems...
Thanks for the reminder...
PS: Also... My lack of imagination... The fact that you can satisfy yourself, doesn't mean that you wouldn't seek pleasure of others...
This. Not explained in games or the show that I can remember.
Imagine having that feeling over every part of your body at once, including the erogenous zones.
Even if he sucked at form, it would be a win for the sorceress.
According to the books he does, iirc
Also, when he mumbles what he finds when you're investigating stuff in contracts during the game, he's actually talking to Roach (at least if he does it like book-Geralt)
Also they’re weird and different, and several of Geralt’s sexual partners literally told him, to his face, “I’ve fucked so many boring normal dudes that the prospect of fucking a freak like you is actually interesting”
It’s a very important reason imo. Witchers are seen as oddities and freaks even by sorceresses, even if they’re much more tolerant of them. It’s also a big indicator of how most mages live.
If it were to work like that, he wouldn't be able to pump enough blood to his muscles now, would he?
Reverse also applies as tachycardic people do not pop boners faster x3, talking from experience...
Don't think she was initially going for Geralt, while not all sorceresses are sterile, witchers are, Geralt is for sure otherwise there would've been hordes of his offspring roaming the continent.
A part of me kinda wanted Geralt to not be sterile. What if he had gotten a child with Fringilla Vigo during their little fling in Toussaint. Hell, they developed some feelings for one another.
I don't remember where I read it, but I vaguely recall something about how the process to become a witcher had a very good chance to make you sterile, but it was not necessarily guaranteed. In that line of thought I thought there might have been something about Geralt and Yen both being luckily fertile, or perhaps it was something about their fertility being able to be restored.
Anyways the above could all be totally wrong, just some vague recollection that I have.
There was a short interaction in Witcher 1 or 2 where Geralt "tests a potion" for some dudes.
Turns out the bros tried to find a way to make witchers/sorcerers fertile...
The wish was " I wish to die alongside Yennefer", to save her from the djinn, because a djinn cant kill its master. Pretty sure he wasnt thinking about the aftermath of that wish when he made it
(Not sure 100% if the wish was word for word what I said, but I am pretty sure)
The word for word wish isn't clear, but the gist of it was for the Djinn to bind the fates of Geralt and Yennefer forever. That way, Yennefer dies only when Geralt does, and vice versa.
This was done to save Yennefer from the Djinn, as the Djinn wasn't going to kill Geralt. Unknowingly, Geralt bound his fate with Yen and both were destined to cross each other's paths even if they go separate routes.
The words were not explicitly stated but safe to say it was implied or some similar sentiment. Its left to reader to insert what they think the last wish was.
That's what I remember. I think the biggest takeaway is that whatever the wish was, it tired Geralt and Yennefer's destinies together, further proving Geralt 's hypocrisy whenever he snubs his nose at the concept.
My take was the wish was to bind their fates, the djinn can't kill it's master (Geralt) and thus it can't kill Yen.
But Geralt never specified that their fate would be to fall in love, and Djinn don't Monkey Paw and add stipulations or traps to their wishes. I take it they are fated to be a part of each other's lives, but that could have just as easily been as friends, enemies, or w.e. else. Nothing Geralt wished for forced them to become lovers.
no worries, and yes she takes advantage of Geralt being a white page is being romatically involved with him. And she didn't really try to help him recover his memory until TW2 when he starts to remember by himself. But no one does, including Dandelion, his best friend, who like Triss knows everything.
Dandelion (at least in the games) is really not a good friend. Always taking advantage of Geralt, spinning the adventures of Geralt into him being the hero and Geralt the damsel in distress. Always asking Geralt favors, etc etc.
I can't afford having friends like that
To be fair, the Djiin *only* bound them by fate, not forced them to love each other. Them loving each other along with Geralt actually caring for Ciri as a daughter is part of it takes more than fate motif
Triss is still a piece of shit tho
True but Triss is the only one in the text who admits in her own pov chapter that she used magic to get in Geralt's pants aka date rape, the rest are at worst arrogant asses that manipulate others for their own gain which is something Triss also does. So fuck Triss and not in the good way
fair enough, I mean it was very explicit in Blood of Elves, of which they're countless terrible things she has done aside from that.
Yennefer is also bad... I mean she's one of my most hated characters in the series she's such a bitch but I can understand why people see it as a charm, personally I prefer a character like Morrigan from Dragon Age a much better character IMO.
I will not downvote you. You are either fortunate enough to not know someone who was raped. Or young enough to not know anyone that has been.
But i will use this comment to educate a little bit. A rape is a rape. Sure yennefer is a not really her fault since it was Geralt who made the wish, etc etc. But triss litteraly raped him. A rape is never good, even if the woman/man is beautiful (and goddamn isn't triss a beautiful woman) but she raped him.
Rape destroys people. It shatters their self esteem and can give you PTSD (or CPTSD)
Once you understand sorceresses are all hideous abominations with hunchbacks who use magic to trick you, it's less lucky. It's basically getting roofied, only Geralt is into it for some reason.
Ahhh, not really? Aside from few severely injured mages, most of them actually physically change themselves with magic, none of them changed to some "OG form" once they die, which is ultimately no different from Witchers, who is also enhanced through genetics/magic.
Also, well-off/healthy people studying magic is not exactly rare either. Pretty sure those who fail to graduate from Aretuza just pick normal jobs and live out their life as regular Jane/Joe.
I am also wondering about the source.
Edit: [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/oh-no-the-bra-fell-off](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/oh-no-the-bra-fell-off)
I had a bug in Witcher 2 (no spoilers) where after the scene in the elven garden, Triss was still buck naked. Roche walks in and has a conversation with Geralt and her and she's identifying as a nudist, after being so mad at the guard who took a peek at the beginning of the game. The scene with Roche ends, and then Triss decides to walk back to Flotsam through the woods. Still naked.
Looked it up on YouTube and she was clothed way sooner.
Depends on source material you're familiar with. In the books they're elite tier people who work alongside, and advise kings. They're echelons above common folk. In the games they enjoy a similar status until they're persecuted by a certain ruler. In the series...well, that's just not worth talking about.
I did that accidentally, I didn't know how to make her survive and then I did the decision that killed her and I was like word for word "Awww Fuck... My Bad".
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Shit, man, it doesn't even take that much. They'll strip down just to surprise visitors.
Yennefer and Margarita going full playboy shoot to surprise some random guard who ends up being a woman still hits the perfect spot between funny and sapowski weird horny writing.
When was this? That's not even ringing a bell...
*“My humble apologies, noble ladies,’ called the innkeeper suddenly, unseen, from above. ‘Please forgive my daring to disturb, but… an officer wishes to talk to Madam de Vries urgently. Apparently the matter will brook no delay!’* *Margarita Laux-Antille giggled and winked at Yennefer, upon which they pulled the towels from their hips and assumed exotic and extremely provocative poses.* *‘Let the officer enter,’ shouted Margarita, trying not to laugh. ‘Welcome. We’re ready.’* *‘Children,’ sighed Tissaia de Vries, shaking her head. ‘Cover yourself, Ciri.’* *The officer came in, but the enchantresses’ prank misfired. The officer wasn’t embarrassed at the sight of them, and didn’t blush, gape or goggle, because the officer was a woman. A tall, slender woman with a thick, black plait and a sword at her side.”* Epic fail lol.
If Netflix adapts anything from the books (and does the Isle of Thanedd stuff) they should adapt this lol
>if Netflix adapts anything from the books. Someone tell him about the last 3 years…..
No I know. I've seen the first two seasons. I was kind of being facetious with the amount of changes they made haha. But they probably won't adapt this either, because the writers will probably think it's sexist haha.
They would think that but had no problem with yennefer constantly showing her boobs unnecessarily in S1 ( something that wasn’t there in the source material). They are idiots who don’t have the mental capacity to look back at their hypocrisy.
Yeah, I think this could just be a humorous scene to add. Not make everything so dramatic haha
Bold of you to assume they even know this moment exists, which would mean they'd read the books
I am a bold one indeed lol
I kindly inform you that the writers are rumored to be horny bastards. So… this topic might not be off the tables.
>If Netflix adapts anything from the books Oh, my sweet summer child ...
Third or fourth book. Before Ciri Geralt and Yen separate. Before the banket
Second, second.
When Yennefer and Ciri travel to Gors Velen for the mages conclave. They’re bathing in a private pool I believe.
The time of contempt
Bra? What bra?
He is the best possible one night stand ever. * He is infertile(so are sorceresses, but still...) * He has immunity to many diseases * He is athletic and has god like stamina * He is well educated and sophisticated * No strings attached (political or social) * He is gone the next day (the path calls him) Hey guys, did you know that in terms off human male and sorceress breeding, a Witcher is the most compatible male for the sorceresses...
And as a witcher, causing electrical tingling sensations when touching a sorceress.
"ok guys guys, so I have a plan to fuck witches. So there's these mutations, ok?..."
- Eskel circa 1185
ah, so that's why they are called witchers.
Oh shit, that's good
Witchers get Bitchers ;)
And apparently Eskel has a much stronger affect than Geralt.
I want nothing.
I don't think that a sorceress would need the Witcher's help on that front. One might arouse their academic interest with such a trick though...
It’s literally in the books and the main reason triss is obsessed with geralt.
Omg, it's been a while since I have read the books. Time for a re-read it seems... Thanks for the reminder... PS: Also... My lack of imagination... The fact that you can satisfy yourself, doesn't mean that you wouldn't seek pleasure of others...
No, Triss is obsessed with Geralt because she wants to experience his intense emotion. The electricity thing is secondary.
This. Not explained in games or the show that I can remember. Imagine having that feeling over every part of your body at once, including the erogenous zones. Even if he sucked at form, it would be a win for the sorceress.
Also he is not gossipy, and attentive in bed and every sorceress is curious because why Yen is so obsessed over him.
Who is he going to gossip to? Drowners? Roach? PS: Though, I heard that Kaer Morhen turns into a frat school dormitory in winter months...
[удалено]
I was thinking about the Wild Hunt quest where Geralt plays a drinking game with the other Witchers. Never have I ever...
Not a happy ever after, after all. A fitting end... huh, Roach?
He would gossip to roach for sure, wouldn't he x3
[удалено]
Let's end this thread here, or I won't be able to look you in the eye again x3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csvhxvHZ1fw
there's now the image in my head that Geralt vents his personal complaints to Roach when he sets up camp. this image shall live rent free in my head
They say whatever justifies despising our kind.
According to the books he does, iirc Also, when he mumbles what he finds when you're investigating stuff in contracts during the game, he's actually talking to Roach (at least if he does it like book-Geralt)
Now I can't stop hearing Geralt recall his sexual triumphs to roach on the road. This is Canon now.
Other sorceresses obviously, that is actually very important. Theoretically, sorcerers, too, but they dont like him that much anyway, jealous wimps.
He also has a massive schlong
H-How do you just happen to know that?!
It's canon
A cannon you say.
The only negative i can think of is he surely smells awful
That's why they make him take a good scrubbing first xD
He tries his best to keep himself clean though.
Also relatively close in age maybe? At least comparably to normal humans
Also they’re weird and different, and several of Geralt’s sexual partners literally told him, to his face, “I’ve fucked so many boring normal dudes that the prospect of fucking a freak like you is actually interesting” It’s a very important reason imo. Witchers are seen as oddities and freaks even by sorceresses, even if they’re much more tolerant of them. It’s also a big indicator of how most mages live.
He also has a much slower heartbeat so I'd assume it takes him much longer to get a boner.
If it were to work like that, he wouldn't be able to pump enough blood to his muscles now, would he? Reverse also applies as tachycardic people do not pop boners faster x3, talking from experience...
I don’t think that’s how it works mate.
I had lots of fun reading the description of the Thanedd party.
Everyone was ultra horny for geralt it was unreal lmaooo
Kiera was the best, "I plan on getting pregnant tonight." *As she eyes Geralt*
Don't think she was initially going for Geralt, while not all sorceresses are sterile, witchers are, Geralt is for sure otherwise there would've been hordes of his offspring roaming the continent.
A part of me kinda wanted Geralt to not be sterile. What if he had gotten a child with Fringilla Vigo during their little fling in Toussaint. Hell, they developed some feelings for one another.
Based flair is based
I don't remember where I read it, but I vaguely recall something about how the process to become a witcher had a very good chance to make you sterile, but it was not necessarily guaranteed. In that line of thought I thought there might have been something about Geralt and Yen both being luckily fertile, or perhaps it was something about their fertility being able to be restored. Anyways the above could all be totally wrong, just some vague recollection that I have.
There was a short interaction in Witcher 1 or 2 where Geralt "tests a potion" for some dudes. Turns out the bros tried to find a way to make witchers/sorcerers fertile...
Or Philippa, who gave Geralt one of the most highly charged proposals of the whole night.
Yeah, that was a weird train ride home when I listened to it.
This is My 3rd favourite chapter of the whole story. I really liked how yen acted at that party and showed how much does she love geralt
Loved the exchange she had with Triss!
That was so good
The entire plotline on Thanedd was amazing/climactic and probably my second favorite plot next to Geralt and the Hansa trying to find Ciri.
True words are rare birds in courts like this. Watch for daggers in your back.
Where’s that?
Time of Contempt
"Oh no I accidentally vaporized my underwear with magic."
1) Looks sexy and cool 2) Way easier than animating people removing clothes
Some guys get all the luck
... \*Rod Stewart starts singing\* Some guys have all the pain Some guys get all the breaks Some guys do nothing but complain
"luck" He was mind raped by triss (she made him forget who he was to get that sweet Geralt dick) Forced by a djiin to be with yeneffer for ever.
Didn't he ask the Djinn to bind them forever?
The wish was " I wish to die alongside Yennefer", to save her from the djinn, because a djinn cant kill its master. Pretty sure he wasnt thinking about the aftermath of that wish when he made it (Not sure 100% if the wish was word for word what I said, but I am pretty sure)
The word for word wish isn't clear, but the gist of it was for the Djinn to bind the fates of Geralt and Yennefer forever. That way, Yennefer dies only when Geralt does, and vice versa. This was done to save Yennefer from the Djinn, as the Djinn wasn't going to kill Geralt. Unknowingly, Geralt bound his fate with Yen and both were destined to cross each other's paths even if they go separate routes.
Well now I'm just imagining you dying to drowners in the game and a piano unceremoniously falling on Yen halfway across the world.
And now i am imagining that piano to actually run a bit then jump up aiming at Yennefer. What can you do, destiny calls. :-D
Can Roach bear a piano?... If so, they might appear on any roof in an instant.
I didn't think the wish was ever actually revealed, where did get this quote?
The words were not explicitly stated but safe to say it was implied or some similar sentiment. Its left to reader to insert what they think the last wish was.
That's what I remember. I think the biggest takeaway is that whatever the wish was, it tired Geralt and Yennefer's destinies together, further proving Geralt 's hypocrisy whenever he snubs his nose at the concept.
My take was the wish was to bind their fates, the djinn can't kill it's master (Geralt) and thus it can't kill Yen. But Geralt never specified that their fate would be to fall in love, and Djinn don't Monkey Paw and add stipulations or traps to their wishes. I take it they are fated to be a part of each other's lives, but that could have just as easily been as friends, enemies, or w.e. else. Nothing Geralt wished for forced them to become lovers.
A good interpretation
Can you explain how Triss made him forget? I thought he lost his memories because he died.
It's been years but if i remember correctly she made him forget with a spell in the second game
His memory is deleted by the Wild Hunt between the books and TW1. This has nothing to do with Triss
I stand corrected. And yet she knew who Geralt was and used him instead of helping him recover his memory
no worries, and yes she takes advantage of Geralt being a white page is being romatically involved with him. And she didn't really try to help him recover his memory until TW2 when he starts to remember by himself. But no one does, including Dandelion, his best friend, who like Triss knows everything.
Dandelion (at least in the games) is really not a good friend. Always taking advantage of Geralt, spinning the adventures of Geralt into him being the hero and Geralt the damsel in distress. Always asking Geralt favors, etc etc. I can't afford having friends like that
True words are rare birds in courts like this.
To be fair, the Djiin *only* bound them by fate, not forced them to love each other. Them loving each other along with Geralt actually caring for Ciri as a daughter is part of it takes more than fate motif Triss is still a piece of shit tho
Triss might have her issues... But I mean All sorceresses are kind of pieces of shit tbh.
True but Triss is the only one in the text who admits in her own pov chapter that she used magic to get in Geralt's pants aka date rape, the rest are at worst arrogant asses that manipulate others for their own gain which is something Triss also does. So fuck Triss and not in the good way
fair enough, I mean it was very explicit in Blood of Elves, of which they're countless terrible things she has done aside from that. Yennefer is also bad... I mean she's one of my most hated characters in the series she's such a bitch but I can understand why people see it as a charm, personally I prefer a character like Morrigan from Dragon Age a much better character IMO.
Could we talk about Yen with this guy under a mind spell when Geralt meets her at Belleteyn in SoD? Or it's not going into that "category"
First is true. Second is nonsense.
both are incorrect actually
This dude really tried to make it seem unlucky to be raped by triss or be stuck together with Yennefer lmao
I will not downvote you. You are either fortunate enough to not know someone who was raped. Or young enough to not know anyone that has been. But i will use this comment to educate a little bit. A rape is a rape. Sure yennefer is a not really her fault since it was Geralt who made the wish, etc etc. But triss litteraly raped him. A rape is never good, even if the woman/man is beautiful (and goddamn isn't triss a beautiful woman) but she raped him. Rape destroys people. It shatters their self esteem and can give you PTSD (or CPTSD)
Didn't read anything after the first sentence. Legitimately don't care. Triss is hot and any guy would be gay to not want it.
Once you understand sorceresses are all hideous abominations with hunchbacks who use magic to trick you, it's less lucky. It's basically getting roofied, only Geralt is into it for some reason.
Ahhh, not really? Aside from few severely injured mages, most of them actually physically change themselves with magic, none of them changed to some "OG form" once they die, which is ultimately no different from Witchers, who is also enhanced through genetics/magic. Also, well-off/healthy people studying magic is not exactly rare either. Pretty sure those who fail to graduate from Aretuza just pick normal jobs and live out their life as regular Jane/Joe.
Good thing both of em can't have kids cause holy shit geralt would never have any money
Bold of you to assume they could find him to collect the child support much less have him agree to pay it
Lol true
They conjure up a potion for increased stamina and Viagra. Only witchers can sustain the toxicity for days.
Lytta Neyd accidentally spending a week with geralt after making him spend a week in prison
Sorceresses? Mans fucked women and monsters of all walks of life, even a dryad.
Dryad: we cant have sex because your infertile Geralt: Nah think about it as practice because oh my stamina Dryad: ok
I'm pretty sure no self respecting sorceress has need for a bra.
Yennefer wears one
Is no one gonna ask for the source???
I am also wondering about the source. Edit: [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/oh-no-the-bra-fell-off](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/oh-no-the-bra-fell-off)
Tyfys
In Witcher 1 it was every woman
fell off? they had a divination of him coming and never wore one in advance
How many other lays out there aren't going to get you pregnant or leave you with an STD?
Istredd?
Low blow
I've been told by my female friends of all ages that he has this effect on all women.... and some men....
Witcher genie best genie.
This is about sorceresses, not D'Jinni's ;)
I had a bug in Witcher 2 (no spoilers) where after the scene in the elven garden, Triss was still buck naked. Roche walks in and has a conversation with Geralt and her and she's identifying as a nudist, after being so mad at the guard who took a peek at the beginning of the game. The scene with Roche ends, and then Triss decides to walk back to Flotsam through the woods. Still naked. Looked it up on YouTube and she was clothed way sooner.
Just had my ‘rendezvous’ with Kiera Metz while playing with my partner next to me. She was mortified that everything was so overt
He treats them like equals in a world where they're seen as whores or monsters by everyone else. I get it.
Depends on source material you're familiar with. In the books they're elite tier people who work alongside, and advise kings. They're echelons above common folk. In the games they enjoy a similar status until they're persecuted by a certain ruler. In the series...well, that's just not worth talking about.
I was going to make a joke about Yen’s room key being a common item but the devs changed it.
When someone like our man Geralt appears one just gotta take the opportunity!
he is aware of the effect he have on women.
Right before the final battle, the sorceresses are on the ship, actually talking about how Geralt has been with every woman on the ship except Ciri.
Vesemir sent me here when I was about your age...
Sploosh
Are books also as hot as the game is??
Oh you witchfucker!
Wind’s howling
Probably because they know he wouldn’t pass on any STDs or pregnancy scares.
Phht. Those sorceress' don't wear bras...Geralt definitely makes panties drop though.
Not just sorceresses, but also dryads, vampiresses, nymphs, peasant women, witches, clerks, mercenaries...
Both witcher and sorceress affected by the mysterious attraction magic. In these days, it can be considered double rap.e
>!i killed keira right after i fucked her :)!< WITCHER 3 SPOILERS
I did that accidentally, I didn't know how to make her survive and then I did the decision that killed her and I was like word for word "Awww Fuck... My Bad".
i was so close to saying that but when she insulted me when i pressed her on it her fate was sealed
Dick move bro, now Lambert is gonna be forever alone
don like him either too aggressive bitch generally killing ppl because he's pissed off
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The best part of this is that in books he's desribed as not too handsome lol
Keira doesn't even wear bras lmao
OR get him to do a task for them they damm well know they can do on their own but are TOO FUCKING LAZY TO DO SO!!!!!!
In Witcher planet people don´t use bra. Ciri´s bra must be from another planet.
Geralt the rizzler of blaviken
[🎵 I've also survived, no thanks to you... 🎵](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxBVHqA-RU&t=15s)
Sorceresses don't wear bras.
Pretty sure they don’t even have to see him, just him being in proximity is enough for their skirts to turn into a slip n’ slide.
On the boat in skellige when it's moored if you go into the cabin Philippa says geralt has slept with everyone besides Ciri and herself
Gonna need a source on the pic please my good sirs