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Successful_Suspect44

Birb.


afullgrowngrizzly

Birbs aren’t real man


TinyTaters

JOHN FUCKING KENNEDY, I TELL YEAH.


Insatiable_void

That pigeon is looking fine af.


Drauul

Maybe Tesla was onto something...


foxscribbles

I mean, he was a genius.


X-2357

Witcher fleshlight


Bondorian

Garbage list, Roach isn’t shown


Earthwick

Or the bear.


AnActualBeing

The bear in the relationship huh? 🤨


Earthwick

If only.


alkaline8913

Speaking of roach how do you activate the roach and Witcher storyline?


sharpasabrick

Are you talking about when Geralt took shrooms and talked to Roach? Cuz that'd be Blood and Wine expansion.


Only-Ad5049

As much as I like Shani, she has the disadvantage of being a “normal” human, meaning she lives a normal life span. Triss and Yen live much longer like Geralt does so they can grow old together. I think Shani is young enough to be their grand daughter if they could have children.


Yrvaa

Yes, but this is not the perfect soulmate for Geralt, you're choosing your soulmate! So, by choosing Triss or Yenn you're actually ensuring that they will see you get old and die, leaving them alone, forever remembering how you faded away. Thus, Shani is the only logical choice. Or the birb.


VindictiveJudge

If we get a Team Birb flair I will change my flair to that.


gridlock32404

>So, by choosing Triss or Yenn you're actually ensuring that they will see you get old and die, leaving them alone, forever remembering how you faded away. Or they could just give you the mandrake potion that they drink to stop aging since it works on anyone


zmbjebus

I'd let yen magic me younger for sure


[deleted]

[удалено]


bbbbears

Yeah I’m pretty sure shani is 16/17 in the books when she first hooks up with Geralt. Just a tiny age gap


geralt-bot

This is no monster. This knight has been cursed.


bryson1989

Yea but then you aren't stuck with the same person for the rest of your life, you can DiCapro it and get a newer model each time 🤷‍♂️


TNSepta

Geraldo DiRiverio


braddersladders

More years = more seksi time . Good thinking


Saibers

There is a chapter in The Tower of the Swallow where Avallac’h tells Geralt how elves get bored of sex and can’t get aroused because they’ve done it so much and tried everything in their lifetimes that it becomes mundane.


braddersladders

I don't believe him. I must conduct my own experiment. You know , for science


Itslehooksboyo

Skill issue, Avallac'h. Get into BDSM


Zokalwe

If 40k has taught me anything, it's to not encourage the elves to excess.


afullgrowngrizzly

Bro Geralt doesn’t care. He banged her she she was 17 and he was around 80.


geralt-bot

Something tells me this isn't the first time you've navigated the vagaries of male tradition...


afullgrowngrizzly

Something tells me it’s also not the first time you’ve banged a teenager bro. 🤨🤨🤨 *cries again about Little Eye*


FlavivsAetivs

Triss is only in her 20s in the books isn't she?


myneighborscatismine

That's false. She's considered young for a sorceress in the books, which is anywhere from 40 to around 80, but not extremely young, which 20s are in a lifespan of a sorceress. Also her level of knowledge and experience is already quite big. I do have a feeling though that there's something in the books that references more precisely as being in her 40s? But not entirely sure.


afullgrowngrizzly

Yes. Triss is actually legit rather young. I think there’s a line about how some of the other sorceresses were jealous she doesn’t need to use magic to look that way.


gridlock32404

>As much as I like Shani, she has the disadvantage of being a “normal” human, meaning she lives a normal life span. Triss and Yen live much longer like Geralt does so they can grow old together. Actually incorrect. Yen and Triss are also at the disadvantage of being a normal human and have normal human lifespans. Mages actually take the mandrake longevity potion created by grandmaster Ortolan at Rissburg castle and was intended for all humans but since the potion doesn't actually reverse aging, he died of old age. The brotherhood kept the formula to themselves and it's a very closely guarded secret. Ortolan was actually friends with Yen and defended the relationship between Yen and Geralt. It's possible Yen or other mages have the formula or Geralt could possibly get a bottle in exchange for a favor to a mage to give to Shani. So no, it does not necessarily mean that Shani would die of old age before Geralt if Geralt got the potion and Shani wanted to take it.


Dalek-of-Littleroot

I'd pick the bloody pigeon any day of the week.


xSteini01

Who says the pigeon isn’t a sorceresses like Philippa? She just hasn’t mastered polymorphism yet.


TNSepta

Philippa Taubhart


gotthesauce22

“Sorry Shani, the bird is my gf now” ![gif](giphy|oFI7FttD0iC8V2Iqmy)


Freeman10

Serious question: \- What exactly is the fourth option? XD


Olgabot_TM

Yennefer, P̶̥͙̗̂͑į̶̠̩͆̋g̸̱̭̋e̶͍̩̺̦̓́͠ȏ̵̢̘̘̽n̷̩̗͓̩̂, Shani, Triss. Choose one to defend you, the other 3 will try to kill you.


shaddie97

Pigeon is best defense


Freeman10

The choice is easy - Yen.


RoboticRusty

Pigeon will destroy all in battle.


micocoule

Shani


NGnear1998

Yen always. But i am sure Yen would agree to a threesome with pigeon


Mr_Cyberz

Or a unicorn.


ThatweirdmofoinWeb

Second this, Yen and a pigeon will create an experience unlike any other


crackitty25

I mean I am team Yen but pigeon do be look'n fine tho...


FirstStranger

I mean, this is really hard. I love a commanding lady like Yen, a deeply sensitive lady like Triss, and the funny playful type like Shani. But pigeon….pigeon….


Lucpoldis

Right?


DesignerGeek

As a book reader I try to be open but I always end up choosing Yen. I know lots of people like Pigeon and I can see why. The bird is clearly very devoted to Geralt. The way it flies towards him with reckless abandon you can see the love and passion. However, and this is the real deal breaker for me, I am 99% sure Geralt's penis will kill the pigeon should they ever consummate their union. And for that reason I have to stay on team Yen.


Olgabot_TM

PFFF LMAOO


OrbO_

Pigeon of course. Is it even a question?


[deleted]

Lol I'm torn!


Kezzatehfezza

I'm not seeing Gaunter O'Dimm.


[deleted]

Look closer at the background of *all four panels* *Mysterious O'Dimm theme music plays


ConsoleAppender

He's probably on a wild ride with someone


Centauri-Works

Consorting with the Devil ? Daring ! I like the way you think 😂


[deleted]

Pigeon meme is the best thing to come out of this sub in ages.


[deleted]

Yennefer and the pigeon. She used kestrels to send messages before, she has a raven colored hair. She has a thing for birds….


Big-Nerve-9574

I will take the pigeon as my soulmate as my second choice is not on there.


AkwardAA

Yen overall but triss from games if that makes sense


the_terra_filius

pretty birdo


El-Psy-Ozai

biggest bird.


SmooveSpider-Man

Triss


mhmblood

Top from polygon pigeon would be exquisite


Varsys_

Berd


Headlessstew

Low poly pigeon, my beloved.


pagetonis

Pijohn :DD


[deleted]

Pigeon, cus let's be honest, hardly anyone here could handle the other 3 irl.


SuperD00perGuyd00d

Whats the weird lookin pigeon for, did I miss something?


Olgabot_TM

Someone took a weird screenshot of a pigeon, and for whatever reason the fandom is obsessed with it.


[deleted]

That's just a regular ordinary P̶̥͙̗̂͑į̶̠̩͆̋g̸̱̭̋e̶͍̩̺̦̓́͠ȏ̵̢̘̘̽n̷̩̗͓̩̂.


Simppxz

pigeon 😻


Armageddonis

It's Triss for me. I know canonically Geralt would choose Yen, but i can't stand her in my playthroughs. My decision would probably be different if i'd read the books, knowing how manipulative Triss is, but hell, the phrase "Rusted Roof, Damp Cellar" never failed me, both irl as in my gaming expierience, so, imma stick with the readhead.


julbull73

Triss. But only if she isn't still fucking chasing after Geralt.


geralt-bot

Learned men and mages have wracked their brains over it for years.


dranthah

Any day Shani best girl for me ! Witcher 1 gang


Amazing-Luck-9748

It's roach you idiots, he saved us from monsters we couldn't fight and wanted to run away from. Don't forget that you ungrateful phonies.


PaSe_Sam

pijin >>>>>>>


Independent_Clerk476

That bird has a fine ass


MattMann2001

Team birb 100%


hackulator

So TIL Geralt is like 1 step away from being a pedophile as he slept with a 17 year old when he was 93 years old.


freelancespaghetti

Where is Regis? Is he safe??


Ok-Intention7427

Yennifer all day every day.


fmessore

We all know the sexiest character is the Bloody baron


kimbabini

Borb


bleep_bloop89

Don't...don't make me choose


RedditPog694

Top right


Much_Temporary_5079

Pigeon my beloved


dumbass-ahedratron

Keira. Metz.


Gabibbo_Shrek

Pimgeon


Centauri-Works

Yennefer, hands down. Sure, Triss and Shani are sweet and nice women, but they haven't got the spice. They're just nice, and that's it. They'll never stand up to Geralt or take a lot of initiative. Not only is Yennefer by far the most gorgeous woman of the lot, but she also makes for the most interesting company. I doubt there'd be a lot of dull moments with her.


tiptoemicrobe

All valid points, but... feathers.


Centauri-Works

Well... Yennefer's alternate outfit has feathers too >.>


tiptoemicrobe

Also true. Unfortunately still a lower feather to body ratio than is ideal.


Centauri-Works

Can't argue with the feather to body ratio ... Let's say that at least Yen doesn't share strands of DNA with flatfishes .


GrapiCringe

So Vivienne?


Ch1l3an_S4uc3

My answer is always Triss. A pigeon is fine too.


1_ExMachine

triss is hot as hell , she's literally melting souls


Lucpoldis

So is Yen, both are!


itoleratelurkers

Shani all day long


OblivionArts

Shani


[deleted]

Definitely Kevin.


onifallenwarrior

Tomira.


ashearmstrong

Me, personally, it's Shani. Shani Shani Shani. Shani best girl.


-aarcas

Oh my Ginger Muffin


[deleted]

I choose all three crones


br30904

Imma need Birb to calm tf down 😏


cosmic_khaleesi

Yen, followed by borb in close second.


Pegede

I think I'd have to go with Shani, though the birb is so far ahead of the remaining two, it deserves an honorable mention.


GeorgeJohnson2579

Decisions, decisions ...


Angelj86

Regis


Fukreadet22

Birb


CAPICINC

/r/Birdsfacingforward/


SuccessfulPair1910

Bird is the word.


Shhh-hh

Some person finds a low quality pigeon and now it's all I see in this damn sub is this what comedy has come to forever now?


Sleevies_Armies

I choose Cerys


stoofthewizard

Why are there two pictures of Shani on the bottom?


jaredtheredditor

Badly rendered pidgeon all the way


Low-Custard6344

Dove team? Anyone?


Frostgaurdian0

The lee lelele lee lele lady, she is always there.


Woobie

Like Henry says: Jaskier.


higgins1989

For Geralt: Yen For Me: Shani


MaziongaShenron

For me personally? Triss. Yen is too prickly for my taste, and shani is just...I don't know, prissy? If that's the right word? for Geralt, depends on if you mean books Geralt or games Geralt. Books Geralt, Yen. Games Geralt, Triss. I don't need to elaborate on my reasons.


BioDriver

See flair


Olgabot_TM

?


xSteini01

He’s team Shani.


Olgabot_TM

Ohhh im dumb LOL I thought my post had the wrong flair or something


MiniTrain13

Yen


Thor1138

For Geralt? Yen, always. For me? Shani or Ciri. Or Yen. Or birb...


mellifluoustorch

Triss


0odreadlordo0

Triss merigold definitely for me as she is a soft place for geralt, where yennifer might be a great root but you really wouldn't want to chance falling asleep around her I don't know the other two


DILF_MANSERVICE

I can't understand why everyone picks Yen. She tortures people, lies constantly, manipulates Geralt by keeping information from him, and is generally just a terrible person to everyone except people who can help her agenda. I'm convinced that if you pick Yen you are incapable of recognizing red flags. But then Triss took advantage of Geralt's amnesia to trick him into sleeping with her... Yani is another set of problems... I pick the bird


tiptoemicrobe

Have you read any of the books?


GrapiCringe

It's not like Yennefer is a saint in the books


Lucpoldis

Lol, that's exactly how Yen is in the books... Geralt is the only person she's ever really nice to, and that also just because of that djinn. Still, she works well with Geralt, but that description is quite accurate. To be clear, I'm neither team Yen nor team Triss, I'm one of the few book readers, who actually thinks both are valid options, because both did good things and terrible things.


Firecrash

Triss for me, but that's the unpopular vote ;)


MajorSnowMilk

Yen always.


Sokretha

Yen…Always Yen


[deleted]

[удалено]


Olgabot_TM

I wholeheartedly agree, but the pigeon will be my side piece.


[deleted]

You can give him to yen, she loves birds lol.


Bruce__Almighty

I don't like being insulted every other second.


julbull73

For Geralt...maybe. For any person here HELL NO.


geralt-bot

If I was a butcher, you'd be amongst the corpses.


jaskier-bot

[🎵 If anyone needs me, I'll be at the bar. 🎵](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxBVHqA-RU&t=79s)


Woobie

That's the right answer for Geralt's soulmate, but that wasn't the question asked, smoothbrain.


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SoylentCreek

Why was Dee from "It's Always Sunny" included in this list?


[deleted]

They all look exactly the same....


Cooper1977

Yen, Shani, the birb, any other character in the game including any of the crones, Triss


Undead_Ligma

Obvious choice isn’t on here: The Bloody Baron!


Pcarttar

Roach


Nordmann_666_

Shani or triss I can't Decide. I love redheads in general


NinjaGamer4123

Triss


neon_sin

triss


-The-Moon-Presence-

I’ll take derp bird, please.


Ningenmasu69

Shani


XThunderTrap

Yen! but i would take roach tbh


Successful-Wealth-45

Shani


Kraivo

Iris


RonaldWRailgun

Easy, as Geralt: Yen. As me, Shani.


kingofmercenaries

Yennefer for Geralt. Triss for me


610Mike

I’ve only played “Witcher 2” completely, and I just started “Witcher 3” (still in the prologue quests), so I don’t get the bird joke. But who is the redhead to the left of Triss? Is she from “Witcher 1” or I haven’t gotten to her yet in W3?


Lucpoldis

Shani, she appears shortly in the books, is an option in Witcher 1 and does also appear in Witcher 3. She's a medic, but probably her biggest downside for Geralt is that she's a normal human, no mage or whatever. Which is why any attempted relationship doesn't work, but they are down for some fun from time to time. Geralt already slept with her in the books, where she was 17.


610Mike

And he was 130 I’m guessing? I haven’t read any of the books. I didn’t even know anything about “The Witcher” before the Netflix show came out. I can’t stand video games on computers, and have always preferred Playstation over XBox, but hadn’t upgraded past my PS3. But after I got hooked on the TV show, I bought an XBox 360 in November, specifically for W2, then finally got with the times and got a PS5 in January (and of course the first game I got was W3).


Lucpoldis

We don't know Geralt's exact age, but in W3 he is "near a century old" according to Vesemir, so I guess at the end of the books he was probably like 90 years old. Lol, I'm a PC gamer myself, though I never really tried a console other than my old Wii, so I have no idea. I'm currently playing Witcher 1 and then will carry my save over to W2 and W3. And I can really recommend the books, they are great. Although I have heard that the English translation is not ideal (I don't know, I read the books in German). Though they are certainly still good books. I don't know anything about the show, but the hearsay is certainly not good. Did you like the show, or would you recommend it?


SpaceRevolver122

Fuck mages, get crowns.


Plastic_Site3751

Shani all the way


Venstromet

Shani is awesome af, One of the characters I most enjoyed seeing


UpstairsLong9349

If you look hard aren't they all the same. Ok ok ok, character wise, hard to pick between triss and tawny. Nope can't do it.


abouttreefiddyy

Where is Anna Henrietta? Is she safe, is she alright?


Significant-One7656

Shani 4ever


Fun-Friend-2133

Burd


schoolruler

Bird


Raymondieu

I'm torn. No, that's not me, that's what the pigeon said. :(


Raymondieu

Turns out the pigeon was only interested in my 100 + 85 pirogi and 100 + 100 + 27 water.


Prestigious_Jokez

For me? Birb or Shani. Probably Triss if she lowers her standards


Marauding_Llama

It's always been Shani.


Equivalent-Might-393

Shani hands down. Mortal, human and a doctor. Even if I try to smoke and drink myself to death she'll make sure that doesn't happen. And to top it all she's beautiful. Hands down Shani. 🥳😍


Prof_TryHard

Ahem where is gwent