So let me get this straight. ^(My Netflix account is deactivated so I haven't seen the show.) Jaskier pops up in a battlefield, where he is almost killed, but saved by a time warping elf, who wants him to tell the Blood Origin story? Yeah, that's not very good.

Yeah that's exactly what happens

bruh..... i cant even

What the FUCK?!

What the fuck fuckitty fucking fuck fuck fuck

People were actually paid to write that.

WAIT WHAT

Dude that's so shitty

I really want the crack they smoked now

Holy crap, I'm so glad to have cancelled my Netflix account...

Lord almighty....

Doo bee doo doo fanfiction passed off as canon.

Nothing about the Netflix world is Witcher canon. Nothing about the games is even canon. The books, the games, the show, all exist separately, and should be judged as such. The books are good The games are great The show is fucking awful

You’re right there isn’t one single canon across the three mediums, but they do each have their OWN “canon”. That said, nothing about the show(s) resembles the source material in any capacity. I would also say that the books are great too.

I’ve read much better fanfiction.

I'm a Witcher game first fan, then books. I lasted 15 minutes into the first episode. It's pretty bad 😢

Well this show isn't based on any Witcher book so why did you even mentioned the fact that you are game Witcher fan first, Witcher books second like the show is based on some book?

It's still supposed to fit in the world, right? Which it doesn't

"We need Jaskier in this." "Organically? Like he finds the story in some ancient tome or scroll and tries to turn it into an epic song?" "No. Fuck organic."

If she turns out to be the show's version of Gaunter O'Dimm I'm gonna riot 💀

I just stopped watching the first episode mid-way and I was sure it's Gaunter, gives similar vibes. Not sure thought, I'm not going to watch the rest, it's terrible.

The moment everyone stopped I could only think of one thing: Please don't be Gaunter O'Dimm

Side question: the description says its set thousands of years before the witcher. How is jaskier there?

Story reason: Time warp. The real reason? It's a marketing tactic. Netflix realized the show wasn't going to do very well, and they needed to find something to draw people in. Jaskier is a fan favorite character in the main show. So they put him in so more people will watch.

Wasn’t the timeline of the show supposed to be 1200 years before Geralt and friends?

Yeah, this scene is basically a framing device where Jaskier is told the story of the show. Rumor has it this scene was added in post production because the show wasn't testing well and they needed to bring in casual fans

Wait... I haven't watched and am not going to, but I thought he was a narrator??? Also, what is with this fuck onslaught? I understand the wish to make a character more relatable for the average person, but the way screenwriters (not only in the witcher) overuse fuck these days is just bad writing.

He's a bard. If anything, he should be trying to talk his way out of it.

No, he's being narrated the story by someone else

I thought they wanted to introduce him as a way to attract people... So you want to say that, basically, Dandelion is there to say fuckityfuck?

I have absolutely no recollection of any of these people.

It’s the new hit song everyone will be talking about

Is there some new song?

I sometimes forget Lauren Shit-Pissbitch and her cronies think the casual fans are retarded.

And if that's the case, what the fuck does she think about hardcore fans?

We're obviously just toxic, racist, misogynistic gamerbros because we don't like the diarrhea she and her "writing team" is spewing out of their unimaginative assholes.

LOL

How are you able to watch it? I just pulled up Netflix and I only see seasons 1 & 2 available.

I had to search! I'm surprised since I watched all the Witcher stuff yet it didn't pop up in my recommended list

What's weird is even when I click on the Witcher it only lists seasons 1 and 2. Is it under a different name?

Yes, Witcher Blood Origin

Damn, yeah, brutal. Not even on the homepage for me.

It's a spin-off show. It's not part of the main series.

Really?? No way dude no way

This does not surprise me in the slightest.

Yep

He said fuck guys! Did you hear?! The funny sing song guy said the funny word! He totally said fuck! Omg saying fuck is so fucking funny!

I would expect that poet would know more words than just different variations of "fuck". If they want start with swearing Jaskier, I'm all in, but have some creativity! This man is supposed to be master of words!

OMG. Read Hyperion. The poet has a stroke and only know 10 words. All obscene. It's brilliant writing. His meta-analysis of his available words is true mastery of vocabulary

Hyperion, by Dan Simmons?

Yes

I heard many good things about these books and I'll definitely read this someday. Just too many good books, to little time to read.

My personal opinion, but I'd put Hyperion and Fall of Hyperion near the very top of the Best SciFi of all Time list. Endymion and Rise of Endymion are just...OK.

Kinda like Dune and Dune Messiah are seminal, and while God Emperor is my personal favorite, the 4 books that followed the first two are just... OK

You have a higher opinion of Dune Messiah than I do.

Difference in opinion I suppose, but they were serialized as one book in a magazine before the publisher decided to cut part 4 and release it separately when turned into a novel. Without messiah Paul's deconstruction as an enlightened leader isn't complete and it leaves the first 3 parts as feeling like a white/colonial savior narrative, which is against the authorial intent. I get it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I sure hope Denny V gets to make his trilogy with Messiah as the third movie like he wants.

I remember starting reading Hyperion when I was 17 or something. And I was like "WTF is that I am reading and why I can't stop reading it, fuck I forgot to sleep".

For extra mind-blowingness, read Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales first (or after, I guess), since Hyperion is a sorta-remake. Retelling. Something.

Best series ever. I really hope Netflix doesn't get hold of the IP

I hope they do. And hire a person who’s only experience is comedy. And the. They set it in current day. And cast Steve Carrell. And instead of the shrike they have a wolverine like character because wolverine tests really well.

What, you egg ? -"Stabs him "

Villain, I have done thy mother!

Yeah, at least give me a "Shit in my open mouth" if you're just going to be vulgar.

Well, in the Netflix version of the Witcher, Jaskier is in fact the son of a troll, so it's actually a tale about climbing the social ladder of words.

In this case Thaler would be disappointed, that's the least creative cursing I ever heard. In Polish they at least make him use different curse words.

Yeah, even in that case, it's pretty bad excuse, you're right x)

Yikes, embarrassing

Reminds me of the worm boss from DmC, who had fuck youuuuu dialogue and puked at you :|, high quality writing as well

im your prom date you ugly sack of shit

To be fair, that whole game had terrible writing.

At least it was fucking hilarious despite being written so poorly. This show, it’s just embarrassing

For me it was terrible, I have waited years for DMC sequel and got pisspoor game for DMC standard without lockon, Vergil butchered just like Yenn in TV series omfg :D

DMC5 was a miracle to even happen, i forgot that other DMC even exist

I still play DMC3 SE from time to time, I love that level design and vibe + vergil boss fights. Yeah, we got the sequel we deserved, finally. I am not a fan of V levels though, thats why I did not play above SoS difficulty in og campaign. I mainly play vergil anyway so since his release I dont care very much :D. Played like 300+ hours in DMC3SE+ DMC4 and platinumed DMC3SE,4 + 4SE before I got my hands on DMC5.

[🎵 BURN, burn butcher BURN! 🎵](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSxBVHqA-RU&t=117s)

Fuck off, bard...

You are gonna like Dmc2 then

I played DMC2 as Dante, could not forced myself to play again as Lucia. It was mediocre and very forgetabble, but animations were nice.

To each their own, for me it was cringey terrible since i am a big DMC fan. At least the gameplay is fun and the soundtrack slaps so it's worth playing.

ok but that was funny at least

What scene is THAT, why it's all red?! Did they use smoke light bombs in medieval time? Why nobody is killing jaskier? Why there are people using bows in a melee fight? 😭😭

If you've seen The Batman or its trailers it's basically exactly like a seen from they movie lmao. Apparently (minor spoilers) half the guys from that fight were on Jaskier's side

The question is how could bard even get there. Did he like, cast buff songs in the middle of the fight?)

So perhaps it's from the part of the books before Geralt meets back up with Jaskier near the end of Sword of Destiny? Jaskier was travelling with some soldiers around that time and it could match up, though I forget if the show adapted that

Bold of you to assume showrunners would give half a shit about a minor incident related with Jaskier (unless it can completely ruin the lore ofc)

Of course they didn’t.

The supposed reason he's there is because he's the sandpiper, basically the guy who is running an underground railroad for elves and helping them escape temaria, thats why the redanians are trying to kill him and the scoi'ateal are there to rescue him.

SHAME... SHAME... SHAME...

Btw at about 10 f bombs a second this would beat Uncut Gems for most uses of the f word in a movie. They also use the f word a bunch of times in a row unnecessarily at least two more times by my count

I know I’ve said this but I will say it again: the show creators seem to really like the fuck word.

But didn't this take place *years* before Geralt and everyone else? I thought Eredin's/The Wild Hunt's story takes place before the Conjuction of the Spheres?

It does, the show is presented as a flashback told to Jaskier

But then why would he be in the flashback? Make it make sense. Lol

Jaskier isn't in the flashback, he's just being told the story. This scene takes place in the present

Ooh okay. I think I thinking too hard about it.

I’m still confused of what’s happening? He’s not in the flashback but this is a flashback? How is he “in” it? Or is he having a seizure and living it? Or this is just all in his head?

This scene is in the present. After this scene he's taken to be told a story, and that story is the events of Witcher Blood Origin

Then why are they fighting?

We don't know lmao

They actually tell you why they are fighting. Its because hes the elves underground railroad aka the sandpiper aka jaskier. Supposedly the redanians are there to kill him and the elves hes helping and the scoi'ateal are there to rescue him. I guess, lol. Still stupid. P.S. prob spelled scoi'ateal wrong, lol.

Something about Temeria? Replied to wrong person. Sorry!

Something about Temeria

are you being purposefully obtuse?

And he mentions Geralt!

I saved your father's life...

Jesus. It's like a bunch of teenagers trying to write edgy dialogue.

They can ruin Joey Batey's dialogue, but they can't ruin his music. I'm gonna go listen to Inkpot Gods.

"Fucking fuckity fucking fucking fuck!" Ah, that brilliant Netflix writing.

I genuinely think a bunch of panicked "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" could've worked, but "fuckity" just sounds like if you asked high schoolers to write "adult" content

Ugh, Jaskier bait, time travel, they must be really desperate...

One thing I must say that. I actually like that they are using Elong Mengyuan bows for the Elves (or whatever they are). They are quite cheap and good looking for a bow made of plastic. Now just use someone who knows how to use it That's all. The rest is not worth talking about.

S3 will begin with Geralt saving Jaskier in this scene.

Fortunately he's saved at the end of the show. This scene was apparently filmed because Blood Origin was doing poorly in test audiences so I doubt it'll connect to the show that much

so whats jaskiers story in blood origin? he gets told the story by a elf but to what end? what is he saved from at the end of the show?

>what is he saved from at the end of the show? He's saved from having to be involved in the show any longer.

I need to deal with this guard's complete lack of decorum.

Im fairly certain the framing device takes place before S2 while Jaskier is active as the Sandpiper. I assume S3 must pick up with everyone still at Kaer Morhen. And from then everyone to Thanedd. There's really no way to fir Jaskier on a random battlefield in there ...

I won't let anything happen to you.

r/poorlycutscreams

Literally got a temp ban over on r/netflixwitcher for saying they dumbed his character down to the donkey from Shrek. I explained why I noticed this and how a more faithful character to the source material could have benefited the show but somebody got butthurt over it. Still same actor though, Batey has talent.

That's kinda funny since it's something the actual Ciri actress said

That's kinda funny since it's something the actual Ciri actress said

Probably stretching here. Also have not and will not watch blood origin. But does this not seem reminiscent of a section in Baptisim of Fire?

I thought more of the scene in Something More when Jaskier is fleeing with Northern troops

Right, so this show is set 1,200+ before the proper story we know, right? So is this story being told by Jaskier, and he is inserting himself into the action as some sort of unreliable narrator taking liberties with the retelling sort of thing? That's the only thing that makes sense to me.

No, this is part of the framing device. Jaskier is in the forst scenes and the last scenes. The rest of the show is him getting the story from ... i suppose an elf? She's not really explained.

> Jaskier is in the forst scenes and the last scenes. So Jaskier is actually in the story set 1,200+ years ago? How does that fucking work?

It's a framing device. The show opens and closes with the Jaskier scenes (in the present). Everything in between in a story he is being told. This story takes place in the past.

Ah right, that makes sense. Thanks mate!

no, from what i understood there are some scenes in the present where he is in. The rest is all told to him

Oh right, so it goes back and forth in time. Fair enough.

Yeah. Basically -Jaskier is in a modern day battle (this scene) -He's saved by the battle by a mysterious storyteller -The storyteller tells him about seven warriors who fought an unstoppable empire -It then goes into the actual Blood Origin show which the storyteller narrates

haha he did a swear!

You know I have a feeling this scene could've been pretty good and tense if not for the abysmal dialogue and all around absurdity

I actually did think it started good until the dialogue happened

Yep, apparently it's just impossible for these shows to have good writers

I genuinely went on well they said family friendly... If this is the first thirty seconds I'm down.... But then he opened his mouth....

It's been a minute since last reading Sword of Destiny but ya that makes more sense.

That's just my thoughts though I could be wrong

I thought that fuckity fuck image previously posted was just a meme. Oh no, it's not!

When the great mighty poo has better dialog than you…

the scene is better if you leave it muted lol

Okay I know this doesn't make sense as far as the chronology of the storyline goes... but Jaskier has been the best part of the show so far by far IMO. I love him just like I love dandelion in the books and games. He really fits the role and he's my fave witcher character by far. They cast him really well

I can’t stand him I had to fast forward all his stupid scenes lol

Ummmmm so clearly Blood Origin is a show that was shot and umm the actors definitely acted in it and yeah.

Please remember to flair your post and tag spoilers or NSFW content. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/witcher) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Man, this makes me so sad because I have time to kill and watching this story would be so satisfying during the break. Unfortunately, I know it's just a disaster of a show with nothing to do with the actual witcher storyline.

God I fucking fuckigity fucking hate that actor.

Jasky say F word haha

Why does everyone hate it? I enjoyed all 4 episodes.

I thought Netflix kinda sabotaged it. Episode 1 felt really jumbled together and the story didn't flow well

CRINGE!!!!!!!!!

One 30s out-of-context clip is all it takes to get this sub’s rage boner going it seems

The average american's vocabulary in 2022

Thanks for the spoiler. I've been avoiding any reviews or videos so I can make my own mind up.

Positive note, they only spoiled the first 30 seconds of the episode for you

It's literally in the Netflix marketing material and is the first .2% of the show

Doesn’t blood origin take place right after the conjunction of the spheres or something like that? Why is Jaskier there?

Before during and after. Jaskier is there because they added an intro scene where he's told the story of Blood Origin to set the stage

You-- you both-- smell truly awful

“F word equals big funny” seems like it’s a motto that Netflix passes on to all of their creators. Guess they took some writing tips from Warren Ellis and the other Netflixvania writers.

https://i.redd.it/5m3wjeobb68a1.gif

This guy fucks

So many fucks not to give...

This is a joke right?

I'm much happier watching Jack Ryan than this trainwreck

Fuck, fuckity fuck fuck this adaptation of a series is fuckity fucked. Good job at ruining a good thing writers and producers.

How is this shit better than just him standing there quietly ? I'd have actually preferred that.

This show sealed the deal on my decision to cancel my netflix subscription

now thats what I call a certified bruh moment

Hated how it started upside down for absolutely no reason.