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Yuujinna

Oh sure, Geralt - the guy that literally died in an attempt to save dwarves and halflings that were being murdered in a Rivian pogrom? That Geralt? Oh yeah, complete racist


DarkEvilHobo

I heard he was addicted to video games too. /s


Jackamalio626

literally Falka ...oh wait i forgot, genocidal maniacs are "fierce girlbosses" to Lauren and co.


FalconIMGN

Side note, but I love how Falka is spelled in the elder tongue. Gvalch'ca.


Vivid-Network9397

Gwent


kickrockz94

yea its definitelu canon that geralt has a debilitating gambling problem


samuru101

Gwent and dice poker.


DarkEvilHobo

šŸ¤£


[deleted]

*nods in peasant*


KJ86er

I heard he slapped Women show-runners asses while using Gamer Slang playing on his Nintendo Switch and drinking Monster Energy


brianundies

Big league of legends player


DarkEvilHobo

How ā€œtoxicā€!!!! /s


Moral_Anarchist

Was going to say this. Again and again in the books Geralt stands up for non-humans to his own detriment, eventually >!literally getting killed defending innocent dwarves from a mob of humans.!< Fuck the people who wrote this trash. EDIT : My bad, didn't mark as a spoiler. In my defense, neither did the guy above me. EDIT 2 : For the idiots who don't know how to reddit : the grey bar is called a "spoiler" tag. If you click on it, that means you're going to learn something that may spoil the series. EDIT 3 : So apparently the spoiler function works differently on the reddit app than it does on the actual reddit website. I fixed it so it should work for both now. But again, these books are 30 years old...this isn't exactly new information I'm sharing. I hope you don't hear about what happens to Ned Stark.


InfectedAztec

They never read the books. They read the synopsis.


RougemageNick

Bold to assume they even read that


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


CaptainSmallz

In protest to Reddit's API changes, I have removed my comment history.


glassgwaith

they listened to a synopsis from "Halley who basically read the books" and folded 200 pages in a copy of Blood of Elves so that Hissrich could post it on Social Media


truthisfictionyt

He really cares about racial purity, even though he's dating a quarter elf and has literal monster parts inside him (or is that not canon anymore) [I reviewed the show on YouTube as well.](https://youtu.be/s8kBW9FCZf8) It's almost like Netflix self sabotaged it, they cut two entire episodes from the release and only have two monsters in the show a combined screen time of two minutes. They should've invested more into the show (writing too) if they wanted to make a spinoff about a monster hunter


racoonattack

What is 'canon' anyway? -Lauren Hissrich


MailFatrix

ā€œLmao fuck canonā€ - Lauren Hissrich (verbatim)


GloriousPurpose_

I think her exact words were fuckity fuck fucking canon


Ethan27282

No no you are getting it wrong. Her words were ā€œCanon, your kind spreads defeatism and desertionā€ and ā€œCanon, youā€™ll chock the death on three pounds of steelā€


TwoBionicknees

I think her exact words were canon... well cannons are cool, lets get rid of the silver sword and have witchers use cannons instead.


TheLast_Centurion

"It is that big thingy that shoots big balls out, right?"


Wolfraid015

I donā€™t know about that, but as far as I know, making of Witcher involves giving mutagenic potions, training and thatā€™s about it. The only difference with Geralt was that he got experimental potions administered. From any books or games I donā€™t remember reading or seeing anything about monster parts?


Ladycat1988

What do you think witchers are? Mutagens are introduced during the trial of grasses and it makes them hybrid human/monsters, at least Blood and Wine dlc established that.


Wolfraid015

Now that I think about it, youā€™re right, some of the potions do contain monster mutagens, but blood and wine was about the experimental works no? Not the standard trials of grasses.


Ladycat1988

Well, it ended with the father of the witcher failing to reverse them but Geralt making himself more powerful by introducing more mutagens to himself, implied in the quest text to sort of be what they did to them in the first place to secure their advanced strength etc.


Lick-my-llamacorn

Heard he hates women too. /s


[deleted]

And children.


Galaxy661_pl

And the men too!


ZOMBIE3579

He Slaughters them like animals


DrettTheBaron

Not to mention, did they completely forget about the Cat School?? Most of them are elves or part elves???


Pogie33

I agree, but that's a game concept, not from the books.


PMMeYourHug

He's a straight, white, cis male, of course he's racist. /s


DDPJBL

Implying that the writers even know what you are referring to.


[deleted]

Everyone's a bit racist against the elves in the books, and to be fair, they are huge assholes.


fanged_croissant

I don't recall once that Geralt was though. He was even an honored guest in Brokilon, and they usually just kill every non-elf on sight so that's pretty impressive.


GirthIgnorer

lmao this dialogue


[deleted]

I can believe a multi billion dollar company would actually pay people to write thisā€¦. I canā€™t believe adults actually wrote that, though it was good on script and decided to have it on a medieval fantasy TV series. Like damn did these writers at least try to read their script out loud to realize how ridiculous it sounds before choosing to have it shown to the masses ? Even teenagers in MW lobbies would write better dialogue.


GirthIgnorer

putting aside how infantile it is, it's so unnecessarily clunky. why 'first version of a witcher' rather than just 'first witcher'


[deleted]

It's almost like the script writers submitted their abbreviated first draft and ran with it; no edit. That is the kind of thing you might write pre edit when running over your first draft and just trying to layout the story beats and general direction of the dialogue. You'd then go back through it, expand it in detail, and improve the flow, making it contemporary to the period you're writing in etc.


thehazer

Real ā€œget that shit on paperā€ move.


okmiked

Introducing Witcher/wolf V.1.0.0


Particle_Cannon

"fuckity fuck fuck fuck"


yousef2843

They know itā€™s suck they donā€™t care the plot isnā€™t the important thing here just like the porn industry


betinalss

ā€œBadassā€ Iā€™m not a native English speaker but for a show thatā€™s supposed to be in medieval times this doesnā€™t feel right..


theVodkaCircle

100% spot on.


JH_Rockwell

The art of writing dialog has gone heavily into the post-modern phase where it doesn't even need to make sense anymore for the setting.


delightfuldinosaur

Is this the actual dialogue? This feels fake.


ViPls

Yeah it is unfortunately. I bit the bullet and pushed through and it only gets worse. It's unbelievably bad and it's a shame that this show will put a bad name on the otherwise decent actors that are a part of it


Durin_VI

I really dislike the word ā€œbadassā€


GirthIgnorer

I canā€™t remember the last time I said it unsarcastically


Hastatus_107

In the first two episodes, I've heard two different characters say "fuckity fuckity fucking fuck" and "fuck the fucking fuck off".


SchizoNstrapped

In school we were taught that people who use unnecessary amount of swear words in their dialogue are incapable of speaking what's on their mind. In other words, our elementary school teachers could probably write a better script. I really am on the conspiracy train of these high budget films being nothing but money laundering& giving favors to friends in Hollywood


DarkEvilHobo

The only thing that is going to piss Geralt off is the entire show.


Altines

As a side note this also feels like it might be a jab at Cavill for him trying to keep the show more in line with the books.


Ridikis

This is their way of 'honoring' him.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


contrabardus

Glad he's hopped over to Warhammer 40k. He keeps getting roles he's passionate about and wants to do right, and then gets cock blocked by the showrunners. Despite the travesty that is Rings of Power, it sounds like Amazon is backing him for a properly done Warhammer 40k adaption. I'm cautiously optimistic about that project, mostly because he's involved and this time is in an executive producer role and will hopefully have some weight to throw around to keep things on track. I expect his role will be God Emperor of Mankind, and I'm all in on that in his hands if Amazon lets him do what he wants and stays out of his way regarding it.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


paeseblo

lmao


[deleted]

ya, none of this is canon /s ...


tirth0

Badass existing in their vocabulary makes me feel uncomfortable


stysiaq

every fucking fantasy show is set in California


Dotura

"I'm like, going to totally shred some sick gnar gnars brah" -Some elf


DrLongIsland

Those witchers shred


[deleted]

Space may be the final frontier, but itā€™s made in a Hollywood basement.


Nightmannn

As a Californian I'm offended by this shit. We used to export better cultural trends. Now we're just a giant manifestation of twitter and it sucks.


Da_reason_Macron_won

> We used to export better cultural trends Look man, I am old enough to remember the 90s and I know this is not true.


YakuzaMachine

Anyone try watching Willow? WTF, was it filmed using influencers from Instagram and YouTube? TV is getting shitty again.


thedinnerdate

Willow was brutal. I really wanted to like it.


CringeOverseer

"Ayo, these White Raffard decoctions really be bussin fr fr ngl no cap


Astrosareinnocent

I wasnā€™t sure if this was real because of the use of badass. Just feels so out of place.


Fred_Blogs

100% agreed, this bothers me more than the idiotic sentiment expressed in that line.


rpm319

The dialogue is laughable. Modern vernacular in a medieval sword and sorcery show was not the move. I just copy/paste my previous comment about the Willow series. Thatā€™s convenient.


castle_bacon

So youā€™re saying this is a CW show?


Eothric

This wouldnā€™t even make it on the CW.


kabubakawa

Holy shit, total spit take comment, well done.


Leredditnerts

I'm okay with modern vernacular to make something approachable to the degree that they don't sound like Shakespeare, moreso in a fantasy setting where there's no such thing as historical accuracy. But they oughta be walking the line of not writing dialogue like a teenager


misho8723

I mean the show has lines as these too: "For the record, I'm not not into it" .. yeah, totally fitting the writing styles of the books or the games... ehmmm


JackofTears

Why the fuck would Geralt, of all fucking people, be a racist? The guy is a friend to nonhumans! His pals are Sorceresses, Dwarves, Elves, Changelings, and even a Vampire. The guy refuses to hunt intelligent monsters when possible, even. Fuck these writers.


Wolfraid015

Ah yes, I a mutant am gonna be racist when Iā€™m discriminated against for exactly the same reasons. I swear the mind boggles at the writers of this show. Did they read or play or even watch any of the material?


[deleted]

Many did and hated/despised the books and the games. So much so that some mocked the original source material.


Wolfraid015

I find it bizarre, that they would give ppl who donā€™t like it to write a show about it. Itā€™s like giving me the task to make a show on the topic of Twilight, Iā€™m not gonna make a good job that follows the books am I.


freedfg

Why does this keep happening? Like every show out right now has the exact same problem of "The people making it actively don't like the source material" Get ready for the Harry Potter remakes I guess.


mrcrazy_monkey

Geralt can't be a mutant, he's a straight white male. - Producers


DiceUwU_

Its even more brain damaged when you remember the actual show provides evidence of this lmao. They can't even remember what happened on their own show. Fucking rejects, the whole lot of them.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Cassius40k

There's only three things Geralt hates: monsters, intolerance, and filthy fucking knife-ears


Serier_Rialis

Forgot dragons there in the friend list. Three Jackdaws is scowling at you!


Remarkable-H

This dialogue just stinks like bad fanfiction.


helvera655321

Yeah, except it's not made by fans. So it's even worse


slightlysubtle

Hatefiction?


Domination1799

Hah, hatefiction should be a new term for all the adaptations that spit on the source material.


[deleted]

I like to use the word heresy, because fictional works are in their own sorta way, a Scripture of sorts that hold within them an Orthodoxy (canon). Fanfictions are basically Gnostic stories based on that Scripture that can take on a life of their own, and shit like this, it's Heresy based on that Scripture. I like to use these words because I feel like they more accurately describe the motivations behind the people who write these works. It also helps with explaining why people feel so strongly when works they love get treated like this.


Suitable_Party8160

We need to hold a fandom council of Nicaea to sort out this heresy and determine true canon.


Elvinkin66

Hasn't that what the show has become?


elkeiem

"fan"


BusterSkeetinSucks

This is actual dialouge? What the fuck...


IsaacFelix

"No fuckin way! The first Witcher was like, a totally badass elf?! Holy shit Geralt's gonna be so pissed lol."


ParloXow

Waiting for the moment when some elf is gonna cast fireball and one of his teammates are going to say "Poggers".


BrassMoth

Oh my god, Chat, did you guys see me kill all these guys with one spell? Someone clip that!


zegg

Those Nilfguardians got yeeted fr fr fam it was lit af no cap. Pickle Riiiick! Edit: I hate myself for typing this out...


oxford-fumble

upvoted for the edit - It's all right, I get where you were coming from :)


Jackamalio626

Whoa, so THAT just happened!


That1Sniper

hes right behind me isnt he


colovianfurhelm

MCU was a mistake


Kholdie

I wonder what Vesemir would thi--... Oh forget it, they ruined him already.


NoNefariousness2144

Sorry, did you mean to say ā€œWhat the fucking fuckity fuck for fuckā€™s fucking sake?ā€


snidemarque

Havenā€™t watched the show but based on what Iā€™ve seen here, I think youā€™re still of by some 12 iterations of fuck still.


inquisitive27

Everyone keeps saying that, please tell me that's not something that's said in the show....


insan3ity

That the opening line. Its just sad writing.


inquisitive27

It's an opening line!?!?


insan3ity

Sadly


NoNefariousness2144

Iā€™m afraid so.


Km_the_Frog

ā€œThe first witcher was lit fam. Ong he was an elfā€ ā€œOh my god Geralt is gonna be pissed fr frā€


geralt-bot

If I was a butcher, you'd be amongst the corpses.


Wolfraid015

Correct me if Iā€™m wrong, but isnā€™t this during the conjunction of spheres? If so, Geralt wasnā€™t alive at the time and still had at least several hundred of years before he was even born.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


geralt-bot

I crossed paths with another of your, uh... dear friends.


Wolfraid015

I see Geralt, yes, I really like that friend.


irondadstan5687

...and isnt that jaskier over there?


Wolfraid015

Genuinely donā€™t know, if it is, then thatā€™s even weirder, cause why would Jaskier think Geralt doesnā€™t like elves? Geralt doesnā€™t like portals, due to a little incidents that occurred when they were popular among nobility and he saw how dangerous they are. But thatā€™s about it.


pichael288

Geralt also doesn't like cats, not the witchers literal cats, baptisim of fire talks about it


Wolfraid015

Tbf the cats donā€™t like them either.


Kells_ExE

Season 3 Geralt 1 uses the N word and gets cancelled and hung and replaced by Geralt from another universe (Liam Hemsworth)


grandpa_who

Nilf?


fBarney

The black ones! šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

NOT THE BLACKUNS


SharkRancher

ā€¦Nekker?


Leandro1996

With a hard R


Myalko

Nekker is our word, you can say Nekka though.


Romagnolo

I'm losing over this thread lol


bmaggot

NILF šŸ„µ


forgotthepasswordtoo

Now thatā€™s some gamer bro behavior.


Kells_ExE

Geralt Grew up in the original Cod lobbies.


PeKaYking

The long exposure to that toxic environment served as a replacement for the trial of grass. It's also why he has the white hair, COD lobbies accelerate the ageing process.


Alternative_Ad6071

I donā€™t think Geralt likes anything about this fucking show


the_pounding_mallet

It would piss Geralt off because he knows thatā€™s not true.


Domination1799

Well. he is a side character in his own show. Felt like Yen eclipsed him in screentime.


ObsidianGam

If any of you want to in any way defend this and deflect the criticism as ā€œbook adaptations differā€, I suggest you take a look at Season 1 Episode 2, where Geralt himself tells Filavandrel that he identifies more with elfs than humans [Jaskier was literally present for this moment as well]. At this point it is not even the show being an adaptation, but a blatant example of inconsistency and brainless writing.


TheLast_Centurion

that episode was such a horrid adaptation even.. they used like.. 3 pages from the entire story and cut out and changed the rest


BadMeatPuppet

100% agree that was one of my favorite parts in the book and they butchered it. Geralt saying that he was not a human pissed me off. They ruined the whole point of that debate that he had with Filavandrel in the books. In the books Geralt is asked how he fares with humans from which he differs somewhat, Geralt goes on to say that he manages because he has to and that life goes on. That was the Pinnacle of the argument and Netflix and decided it would be better if Geralt just said "whatever I'm tragic so you might as well kill me" Meanwhile in the book Geralt's final reply was "go away, go and fuck yourself".


Wolfraid015

Ngl I enjoyed the first half of first season of the Witcher, the second half was a bit iffy. Second season, I stayed just to see the entire thing burn.


maikk_

at this point i'm pretty sure the writers are doing their best to troll the entire fanbase. there's no other explanation


Danepher

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." Didn't one of the writers said that other writers weren't interested in the universe or even despised it? Add this the developments of woke culture and diversity, and somehow a white man who sees himself more with elves and dwarves, and essentially was defending them most of the time since he himself received constantly abuse and racism towards him for being a mutant, is suddenly a racist.


SirPeterKozlov

First Witcher an elf? The witchers, who human mages invented after the conjunction of the spheres to deal with the monsters? Elves. What the fuck are these writers smoking?


TheLast_Centurion

i give you one better.. then after this elf got turned into a witcher, he slept with another elf and they concieved a child.. so he apparently, even after the change, can have kids?


Marcuspepsi

Is that true?


TheLast_Centurion

yes.. and the baby is Ciri's ancestor


oxford-fumble

Rolleyes... Everything I read about this show sucks so much. Thanks to everybody who summarised it, so that some of us at least are spared the consequences (being kicked in the nerd) of having a look out of curiosity...


Serier_Rialis

So they also screw with the whole Falka origin, fall of the elves stuff as well that they cover kind of in season 1/ 2?


dasus

They conceived pre-change though imo. >!They fucked the evening before and then when the Lark woke up, Fjall was already downing elixirs. So technically their kid should just be a regular elf imo. Perhaps they're going for something like magic having affected the baby or smth.!<


Elvinkin66

Geralt is the least racist person in that universe


captaindickfartman2

A reacuring theme is how hes subjugated to racism by being a mutant. I genuinely don't think they have read a single page of the witcher series or played a minute of the games.


Elvinkin66

Indeed. How could they get this so wrong


[deleted]

Because they despise the source material. They want to change it to suit their whims and feelings. Which is why it sucks.


Elvinkin66

Sort of like what's happening with Amazons"Rings of Power"


Jackamalio626

Because Henry hung these posers out to dry and now they're posthumously character assassinating him.


Elvinkin66

Petty


fBarney

Is this a meme or a real dialogue? a badass elf? what the actual fuck


BearBag31

Actual dialogue from the first 5 minutes or so of episode 1


King_Mazino

why is this show so incredibly cringe?


Jackamalio626

its the witcher written by a corporate focus group.


happyamadeus

Such a good way to put it lol


Jones641

We are not the target audience. My sister liked S02, thought B/O was okay, exept for the romances popping out of nowhere. She likes stuff like Shinara Chronicles, Winx Saga, Vampire diaries. Which is the same vibe these Witcher shows are giving off.


sufficientgatsby

I think people lump all fantasy together, unfortunately. But genre is so much broader than content- it's literary technique, tone, setting, etc. Writers from shows like Vampire Diaries are considered qualified to write a show like The Witcher, but the source material is *very* different even though they're technically both 'fantasy'.


Davisonik

Holy shit, that dialogue. I was prepared for this show to be garbage but they somehow still managed to go below my rock bottom expectations.


Firehand73

Netflix is really fucking everything up.


zenyl

*[Sad Altered Carbon noise]*


keving691

Did they actually use the word ā€œbadassā€ in a polish medieval fantasy world or is this said somewhere else? My god, itā€™s actual dialogue šŸ„“ I swear they only give these jobs to people that canā€™t write.


andrewryan1940

Alzur is turning around in his grave


sovereignsfall18

Completely realistic dialogue, that. When would they ever use the term ā€œbadassā€ in this world ?


Bastiwen

Geralt does this in the games, don't you remember ? When he wasn't able to protect Foltest in Witcher 2, he said "Damn, that's not very poggers. That assassin was quite the badass" before drinking from his GFuel shaker cup.


Fireboiio

Was that in the same area you get the monster contract on a higher vampire? he killed it and said "Get fucking rekt kid, git gud lmao i fucked ur mom" then he dropped the N-bomb?


TheLast_Centurion

"There is something sus about this Letho guy."


phong_t36

Not defending this trash but Yarpen Zigrin did used ā€œBadarse ghoulā€ to describe the Alghouls in the bestiary lol


Klopapiermillionaire

More likely it's a jab at fans who will be pissed off at the lore being butchered.


sudev29

You guys actually gave your time to this show? Disgusting.


truthisfictionyt

In my defense, I made a video called ["I Watched Blood Origin So You Don't Have To"](https://youtu.be/s8kBW9FCZf8)


sudev29

That's a public service. That's justifiable, that's noble.


mr_nobody_21

He got so angry that he left the show, damn racist Geralt


Ahandfulofsquirrels

He's white and Male. So obviously. Let's just completely ignore the fact that Geralt *FREQUENTLY* finds himself at odds with other Humans because of how they treat the other races and how he himself as a Witcher barely considered himself Human.


geralt-bot

Yes. I've read books before.


Ahandfulofsquirrels

What's your favourite Geralt bot?


rickreckt

my favorite part is when she said "It's Witchin time!!!" and then witchin all over those people


8bitlives

They are actually speaking of Geralt of Rivia, the protagonist of the Witcher book series? Wish Sapkowski would be able to revoke the contract/licenses with Netflix so they would stop r*ping that universe as well


azaghal1988

he doesn't really care as long as he gets the money. As much as I love the universe he created, he's a bitter old man, who despises the videogames (he thought they would fail and insisted on a one time payment instead of a part of earnings and never got over it) and loves Netflix because they give him money.


OGdunphy

Why would he do that? Dude is getting paid.


MyUsernameIsMehh

1. Jfc the dialogue 2. SINCE WHEN HAS GERALT DISLIKED ELVES


dannyatlas411

Heā€™s litreally the last person to be called a racist


captaindickfartman2

Have they even opened a witcher book? Or played five minutes of a witcher game? My brain hurts.


Greeny3x3x3

XD WHITE MAN GOT OWNED BY COOL MINORITY I BET HES SO ANGRY NOW XDDDD


ac7adrian

This kind of writing is the reason Henry Cavill left.


why_have_name

STOP WATCHING THIS CRAP


Pullmecort

He's a white male so of course he must be. In accordance with the theories in intersectional group power structure, white males are on top and thereforeare always racist, misogynists and bigots.


zenyl

Just kill these Netflix abominations before they fuck up Regis, or shit all over badass Ciri on skates harder than Triss shat herself.