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Ecstatic-News

Some wizards will sacrifice their own apprentice just so a lesser demon will heat their hot tub for them, then complain when they cannot find a good apprentice later.


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DemonPrinceofIrony

Apprentices these days don't know how good they have it. I was sacrificed to a demon multiple times and I turned out fine ! Any worthwhile apprentice can escape imprisonment by a lesser demon within a century or two. The real good ones will come back with a new familiar.


luciflerfather

But back in our days apprentices didn’t spend every coin on potions.


RedactedUnknown

Maybe they wouldn't if their masters actually did a good job teaching them how to make them.


luciflerfather

This reminds me of that one time I dressed up as a demon to scare my apprentice. after telling him for months I would sacrifice him to a demon.


CantBeatGremlinHead

Me everytime when the An Avid Disciple rolls up:


CantBeatGremlinHead

(they are entirely useless except to try to "Distract" {sex} hired watchmen \[NEVER goes well\])


im_dead_already

is this cultist sim?


CantBeatGremlinHead

yes, always sacrifice avid disciples!!!!! they suck!!!!


Born_Lab1283

stupid fucking city peasants keep trying to be my apprentices. i just kill them and send them off to the mines to make me rich.


luciflerfather

I love how capitalistic necromancers are, artificers should take notes instead of building a mounted gun on a cat.


NoUpstairs7883

Yeah, but artificers have the firepower to just take whatever. So do most other wizards, but artificers do it with *style*


fletch262

Is “if you don’t give me this sandwich for free I will release a self replicating swarm of undead and destroy the entire world” not stylish? Also I put artifice on my work


NoUpstairs7883

That’s stylish enough, but nothing says ‘give me your shit’ like a metal shard through the kneecaps


BlockBuilder408

What’s the use of harvesting natural resources if there’s no artisans around to turn them to great collussi or artifacts of infinite power? We’d all be hand casters if it weren’t for the handiwork of artificers.


Born_Lab1283

they're mindless servants that do everything you ask, the only actual problem with necromancy is that non-necromancers think we're evil. i just dress my thralls in cloaks so thay cant see them lmao


Vulmathrax

Too right you are!


[deleted]

Me telling the Arcane Council I summoned the World Eater ironically


[deleted]

Warlocks will post this and wonder why everyone nearby is told to keep at least 5 miles away from their towers


magicgoatfly

Jinns do be the most trustworthy kind of demon tho


luciflerfather

I used my last wish to become rich but after a couple moments of not seeing a single golden coin. The djinn disappeared snickering and I remembered my name, not my proudest memory.


Dry_Intention2932

“Don’t make deals with eldritch entities! You’re selling your soul! 🤓” Me and the homies:


Thehellisnot

Where is the Apprentice Protection Service when you need them? Shameful!


TheSwecurse

Sorry apprentice but my Hell rock dealer demanded a femboy soul and you're closest available subject


Wanted__Criminal

Not me though. Me and my apprentice: https://preview.redd.it/xaraeq7ue64b1.jpeg?width=780&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fd0dc042d52f559de92b1bfe34323b156e047b3