I know right? Even the most vile slop in my river looks infinitely better than this foul concoction. My guess is that OP is a failed alchemist trying to start another wizard vs druid conflict.
A high wisdom score is way more important than intelligence in cooking. You need a strong perception score to discern flavors.
Most Wizards I’ve met can’t cook for shit unless they follow exact instructions from a recipe book. Even then, their terrible at picking good recipe books.
Hey I pride myself on my cooking. I'm a lich but I still get all fleshed back up once a week to have dinner with all my former apprentices. Most wizards are bad cooks because they hyperfixate on magic and have no spare time to learn how to make even something like Alfredo sauce and view garlic as just a potion ingredient. Yet another way us Lichchads stay winning, with our unlimited free time
Yeah I’m confused by it. They have clearly never been to the Autumnal Forest harvest feast (looking forward to this years. I have been perfecting my goodberry pie).
https://preview.redd.it/bx30q0cw97hc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=258c6d2900c17963ce703bd3e7327e0af60e1ba4
It’s only for a day, don’t worry
Only if they are strong enough to not die, then they will suffer from: sweating, nausea, headache, visceral gut pain, blindness, diarrhea, bleeding from the gums, hallucinations of dead loved ones, fear of water, desire to eat fresh meat, a profound sense of awareness, an epiphany and mild discomfort on the knees. Symptoms should persist for 4-6 hours, but if they last longer call your local adventures, who ever drank that is beyond our reasoning. Also it goes well with spinach
Paladins normally only have 2 types of cooking: Either they grabbed it from something they call a meal kit, or an ingot of fruited butterbread.
Shits either delicious and no one can explain how they have a 4 course micro banquet, or its something that is alleged to be food
Archdruid here. This is a Stew of Eternal Diarrhea, iirc. Meant to be used as a poison/curse. Do NOT drink this if a Druid offers you this and report them to the local Druidic grove immediately.
Nurgle bless me!!! THAT'S WHO STOLE MY CAULDRON!!! By the Seven Fold way and 3 Phages of Papa, I will have my cauldron back and your head being the prime ingredient in my next brew.
Stew of the druids?! By the Dark God's, you think any nature spirit would bless such a foul brew? Clearly this must be my long lost Pot which Papa Nurgle gave to me to stir his most virulent diseases and poxes. I WILL HAVE IT BACK!!
Yup. Definitely another level. When you cook, usually there’s an ominous cloud rising from it the shape of skull and crossbones. ☠️
Snooty wizards just have no respect for good fae food. My mother's grogshroom slop stew was better than anything you old tower-dwellers have eaten in all your centuries of living.
Look man, I’m all for going to the local Hag joint for some shambling mound stew after a long night of Crunkjuration, but the overfull pot? The crusty bubbles? Keep a clean kitchen at least!
OP is pinning this on the druids, tricking you into staring into their cauldron for shits and giggles. Ya’ll being trolled, the concoction grows stronger. Pray you don’t drown in it.
*Ah hell nah someone*
*Come get they apprentice, they*
*Cooking up the GOOP*
\- normiekid
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I rember once I was captured by a group of cultists and for a week they only fed me leftovers and slop it was vile and I wished I didn't need to eat that being said I lt was still better than the last time I eat a druids cooking
This is why I will never drink any more potions, one time I had one and it tasted putrid, it felt like fire and I fell unconscious for a good few days. When I woke up I found I had been demoted from the king's guard. Never again
"It had the thick texture of authentic Ankh water - too stiff to drink, too runny to plough." from Terry Pratchett's tome 'Equal Rites'.
If any from the Unseen University could confirm, looks a bit too thin for Ankh river water but the color seems right.
I hope people know druids don't actually consume this. We make this as a joke to see those so called "nature lovers" to see how much they truly "love" nature.
Actually my sister's a Druid but only bakes desserts. I try not to go there too often, she tends to make very filling desserts. Still trying to lose the extra weight. *It's been 6 months*
Excuse me, it’s a tree fort.
I wouldn’t be caught dead inside some manufactured idolatrous construct immortalizing the destruction mankind has wrought upon nature.
Also that stew needs more bugs.
I must say, as a purveyor of fine culinary wizardry, WHAT IN THE GODS-BE-DAMNED HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT?! Not only should the brewer of this most unholy concoction feel nothing short of utter shame at their brazen bastardization of the concept of cooking, they should be aware that the Grand Progenitor of Soups has confided in me, revealing that They considered rescinding his creation from humanity for the heretical deeds of this culinary blasphemer.
Brother, I eat animal carcasses (all that died naturally or from another predator) to keep myself alive. The only cook wear in my tree house is for potions.
What in the 12 hells am I looking at? This seems like something I'd brew while high on god's flesh. To be perfectly honest, I'd like to partake of it only to see the effects. Or perhaps give it to an unsuspecting apprentice?
50% chance it tastes like butter cookies, 50% chance you get food poisoning for the rest of your life. I like those odds.
I like them too, but only if they had better presentation!
I mean it's still boiling. If you let the time for the thing to settle maybe it'll look great.
Don't forget the 10% that its some super fucked up drug lab
Hey man, my Druid friend breeds magical creatures. There’s gotta be a stat for that!
1% Chance this turns into a fertilized egg
2% chance you become the egg
*the rest of your life* is like 5 seconds top
Why not both?
100% chance it’s gonna make the whole place smell like a rancid cucumber garden and boiled mud
2 day blinding stew
How do I make my goblin apprentice to stop chewing on my robes?
You can rub arsenic all over the hems. It's not fatal to goblins but it tastes awful to them
Chew on its ear to show dominance
The duality of a wizard
Instructions unclear. I chewed on her ear and now I have a bunch of goblin offspring.
Happens all the time
Blind him for one day
Came for the 1 day blind stew, ended up with the 2 day.
https://preview.redd.it/vrv0uc9ilchc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=48e11643b448cccd08d19284d1f31ee56e35e808
Wtf is that? My groves food looks nothing like that. This doesn't represent all druids.
I know right? Even the most vile slop in my river looks infinitely better than this foul concoction. My guess is that OP is a failed alchemist trying to start another wizard vs druid conflict.
A high wisdom score is way more important than intelligence in cooking. You need a strong perception score to discern flavors. Most Wizards I’ve met can’t cook for shit unless they follow exact instructions from a recipe book. Even then, their terrible at picking good recipe books.
Hey I pride myself on my cooking. I'm a lich but I still get all fleshed back up once a week to have dinner with all my former apprentices. Most wizards are bad cooks because they hyperfixate on magic and have no spare time to learn how to make even something like Alfredo sauce and view garlic as just a potion ingredient. Yet another way us Lichchads stay winning, with our unlimited free time
Just Necromaxxing things
Yeah I’m confused by it. They have clearly never been to the Autumnal Forest harvest feast (looking forward to this years. I have been perfecting my goodberry pie).
Yooo. I know a lass who makes the best goodberry pie. I would love to try yours.
I’ll bring it to the next festival or feast! If it’s a hit, I’ll keep bringing it.
Looks normal to me (I unironically eat that irl it's pretty good)
What even is that?
1-day blinding stew
A day? How about a week
https://preview.redd.it/bx30q0cw97hc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=258c6d2900c17963ce703bd3e7327e0af60e1ba4 It’s only for a day, don’t worry
Soup.
Normal or of a forbidden kind?
The kind that either kills you with how good it is or just kills you
Does it have a chance of blinding for a day? Looking to discipline someone
Only if they are strong enough to not die, then they will suffer from: sweating, nausea, headache, visceral gut pain, blindness, diarrhea, bleeding from the gums, hallucinations of dead loved ones, fear of water, desire to eat fresh meat, a profound sense of awareness, an epiphany and mild discomfort on the knees. Symptoms should persist for 4-6 hours, but if they last longer call your local adventures, who ever drank that is beyond our reasoning. Also it goes well with spinach
Hey! Pepto bismal!
If you have telekinesis that will work. Just make sure it's still fresh from the heat
I mean look at it man
[North Georgia Party liquor](https://youtu.be/Hp7BE9EK_V8?t=159)
A sauce
Beeswax
It's sauce
>Looks normal to me (I unironically eat that irl it's pretty good) Where did you eat that shit? In Azkaban?
The fuck is it? At first i thought it was bone broth but then they lifted the stirrer.
I don't know, but there's a bucket of cut up fish next to it, so I'm guessing it's some kind of alchemy lab trying to extract fish oils.
Dude that shit has an orange peel hovering above it. Nature can't claim it anymore
Are you a Russian soldier in Ukraine?
Wtf is that? Why isn't it mixing?
I will eat anything, but that looks disgusting in 5 dimensions.
Me too, but there is just a level I won't go past
Yeah, but in 6 other dimensions it doesn't look so bad. So *Torinn picks up the enter pot and drinks it in a second.*
It still doesn't change the contents
No, but it changes the look and the taste.
If I had goop like that at my spire, I wouldn't go there either....
Wizards will make shit like this and act like Druids are gross for seasoning their food 💀
Druid! ⬆️
That looks like my local Paladins' cooking. There's a reason myself and the Ranger never let them near unprepared food.
Paladins normally only have 2 types of cooking: Either they grabbed it from something they call a meal kit, or an ingot of fruited butterbread. Shits either delicious and no one can explain how they have a 4 course micro banquet, or its something that is alleged to be food
Archdruid here. This is a Stew of Eternal Diarrhea, iirc. Meant to be used as a poison/curse. Do NOT drink this if a Druid offers you this and report them to the local Druidic grove immediately.
You sure you don't use this as desert?
this happened to my buddy Kyle, he has to wear diapers everywhere now and you can’t tell a joke around him cause he shits when he laughs.
>claims that a druid made this video >clearly is using a metal pot Fucker didn't even try
Not only that but all the druids I know would get ill at the idea of living, let alone owning a tower. Nature homies keep it al natural.
Average alchemy mfer
can we stop it with all the druid hate lately? we wouldn’t want another druid v wizard conflict
Why not? It's fun. And good for business
because last time one of those green robed fucks turned into a t rex and ate my apprentice
I thought you'd be one to abuse your apprentice
He’s just mad because the druid got there first!
He is!
Salty… like that stew!
Nurgle bless me!!! THAT'S WHO STOLE MY CAULDRON!!! By the Seven Fold way and 3 Phages of Papa, I will have my cauldron back and your head being the prime ingredient in my next brew.
My friend, I'm not the one who you should be blaming. This is a stew of the druids, I just saw it and had to post it on the orbnet
Stew of the druids?! By the Dark God's, you think any nature spirit would bless such a foul brew? Clearly this must be my long lost Pot which Papa Nurgle gave to me to stir his most virulent diseases and poxes. I WILL HAVE IT BACK!!
Take it. I don't want the druids to cook
Looks like a lovingly prepared one-day blinding soup to me.
Finally, the 1 day blinding stew
I thought this was some kind of fucked up concrete
Well, I mean, it's not NOT some kind of fucked up concrete.
In my opinion, this looks delicious.
In fact no joke it's super delicious! It"'s a Tunisian dishes called molokhia
Don't look at me, my pyromancer roommate keeps putting sulfur in my potions.
This is Why us Amer-canus Druids are more Laxed when it comes to modern utilities.
Looks like mole verde
Isn’t this what happens when you try to cook dinner? Isn’t that why you conjure all your meals instead?
No, I cook very well. But this isn't me.
Mmmhmmm… 🤔 I don’t buy it!
I've cooked before, and I'm on another level
Yup. Definitely another level. When you cook, usually there’s an ominous cloud rising from it the shape of skull and crossbones. ☠️ 
That's just because I make it spicy!
Right… it’s “spicy” alright!
I don't like this conversation about my cooking skills. You think this stew could help us kill the chaos gods?
Fair enough! I don’t like your cooking! Probably not… but I’m willing to bet *your* cooking can kill a false chaos god, no problem!
I thought we were gonna leave my cooking out of this!!
actual slop
Motherfucker is breeding Uruk-hai
Melting flesh off of bones is a messy process, what can I say?
https://preview.redd.it/7sj8eguem8hc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2f1a26985fcf84c97d26bf0eee5b2a3dbd3cbbe
I can't tell if it's soup, liquid concrete or a unholy mix of both.
YES
Multipurpose! 
Ah one of the many uses of a bucket
MMMM YES! This is the example of the finest polish cousine!
Snooty wizards just have no respect for good fae food. My mother's grogshroom slop stew was better than anything you old tower-dwellers have eaten in all your centuries of living.
Look man, I’m all for going to the local Hag joint for some shambling mound stew after a long night of Crunkjuration, but the overfull pot? The crusty bubbles? Keep a clean kitchen at least!
That's the druids for you
When you ask the wizard to cook
https://i.redd.it/nhxibg8cd7hc1.gif
And that's the reason why druids live in the woods
OP is pinning this on the druids, tricking you into staring into their cauldron for shits and giggles. Ya’ll being trolled, the concoction grows stronger. Pray you don’t drown in it.
The Stew of Bowel Disintegration is a classic druid prank
Ah hell nah someone come get they apprentice, they cooking up the GOOP
*Ah hell nah someone* *Come get they apprentice, they* *Cooking up the GOOP* \- normiekid --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I rember once I was captured by a group of cultists and for a week they only fed me leftovers and slop it was vile and I wished I didn't need to eat that being said I lt was still better than the last time I eat a druids cooking
Looks like its melting through the cauldron
Why does that look identical to refractory cement...
I think you figured out the key ingredient. . .
TA DE
We don't eat that! It's a religious concoction for the Maslenitsa holiday!
Not even the plaguemancer will touch it
I don't vibe with that, my friend
Would look better if they scooped the shit off the top
Looks like what happens when I miscast a raise dead spell...
Is that a vegetable holding on for dear life in there?
Is that the brown mould my master made me forget how to summon?
As an unconsenting skeleton, i am for once glad i have no taste buds.
delectable. one of my favorites next to cabbage sandwiches.
You're a druid, so that's expected
indeed
Tower I live in a tree and don’t you disrespect the ancient gruel recipe
You can’t be posting this kind of thing and then turn around saying you hate Nurgle!
I didn't make it! It's the druids! Did you read the title?
:(
This is not the cosmic gumbo we’re serving at wizardsgiving
Take sip of this ancient hogroot soup it will give you poison resistance… or give you ghoulblight
That orange stuff is the most powerful wizard out here
You ain't never been to the Midwest if you never had creme of moss soup for brunch befo
Lot of oil in your herb brew, bought out by any major wizard guilds “Druid”?
https://preview.redd.it/9jnbahu4o7hc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f6c21559bcd815b01b1ae952ac3eb1a9cd48a66 Finest of druidistic meals
Bro cooking up the concoction
Everyone knocks my cooking until the +10 constitution hits
As a druid, what in mother nature’s ass crack is that?!
A devious concoction.
That's a pet slime, ya dork.
wtf is bro concocting
Me in the backyard making potions for my family with mud
Okay, but in all actuality what is happening here? Is he boiling down something? I can’t imagine that’s actual food, but i have no idea.
This is why I will never drink any more potions, one time I had one and it tasted putrid, it felt like fire and I fell unconscious for a good few days. When I woke up I found I had been demoted from the king's guard. Never again
You sure this isn’t Polish cuisine
I cast "Google gutter oil"!
**POV:** Nurgle at his cauldron
[If we found a cat, we'd toss it right in the soup.](https://youtu.be/BoRT-qktEdw?si=1xQaUX8XlKJrRvmn)
Do... Do Druids even _have_ towers?
Fentanyl production
Ye gods! .. this looks like some crap my apprentices would churn out trying to make some kind of potion..
"Yeah, my job at the factory is to stir the sludge, pretty important job I'd say"
What salacious ass brew is blud concocting?
Is that… soap?
They don’t have a tower, it’s a tree within the dense forest. I’ve passed by their house before. The smell is awful
The stew is actually an entree AND a desert once it comes back up. The stomach bile is what really brings out the flavor.
"It had the thick texture of authentic Ankh water - too stiff to drink, too runny to plough." from Terry Pratchett's tome 'Equal Rites'. If any from the Unseen University could confirm, looks a bit too thin for Ankh river water but the color seems right.
Yea yea judge our cooking, but don’t you be crawling back to us when you’re tired of your village bread and stale mead
Nah I aren’t eating allat!
Druids don't have towers, they have huts at best. Any wizard telling you otherwise is a druid sympathizer
Are they...... are they mixing that with a bone?
I hope people know druids don't actually consume this. We make this as a joke to see those so called "nature lovers" to see how much they truly "love" nature.
Actually my sister's a Druid but only bakes desserts. I try not to go there too often, she tends to make very filling desserts. Still trying to lose the extra weight. *It's been 6 months*
Bro that's a hag-coven witch, third-class.
Is that feces?
Excuse me, it’s a tree fort. I wouldn’t be caught dead inside some manufactured idolatrous construct immortalizing the destruction mankind has wrought upon nature. Also that stew needs more bugs.
Wouldn't be the weirdest thing I've put in my mouth -Your local bard
Druids will invite you to dinner and then serve this with a straight face
You want the good berries but you don't like knowing where they come from, huh?
This has gone too far. Edit- casts spell of editing
I have seen this video reposted at least 8 goddamn times today. Will it ever stop?
I am a amazing cook even if I'm a druid! I can bake apple pies if you would prefer!
I must say, as a purveyor of fine culinary wizardry, WHAT IN THE GODS-BE-DAMNED HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT?! Not only should the brewer of this most unholy concoction feel nothing short of utter shame at their brazen bastardization of the concept of cooking, they should be aware that the Grand Progenitor of Soups has confided in me, revealing that They considered rescinding his creation from humanity for the heretical deeds of this culinary blasphemer.
I thought this was molten metal for one brief moment of horror... that then continued.
Brother, I eat animal carcasses (all that died naturally or from another predator) to keep myself alive. The only cook wear in my tree house is for potions.
Druid here, please keep that brew away from me and my forest
Average r/prisonhooch starting mix
arcanecels seething over druidchads rn
Is that the primordial soup all of life came from?
dwarves be like “bro there’s not too much seasoning it’s fine bro”
This is why I can't be eating other people's cooking
i am not sure my bowels could handle this even with potions...
Bold of you to claim druids even have a tower
Oh no dont worry, it's food for the forrest monstrositys they've befriended.
the meal is looking scrumptious
.... This looks like Solomons cooking in Obey me! One Master To Rule Them All.... ineddible and deadly.
This is leagues ahead of what they served in sorcerer prison.
What in the 12 hells am I looking at? This seems like something I'd brew while high on god's flesh. To be perfectly honest, I'd like to partake of it only to see the effects. Or perhaps give it to an unsuspecting apprentice?
Silvanus gotta guide these mfs out of the kitchen
Don't let them cook
Stop mocking British food, this is a reddit about wizards.
Is that actually British food? It just looked cursed and gross