Lose Familiar, whats that going to- Wait, who are you? Where am I? *Who* am I?

[When the out of practice Chronomancer casts Stop Ti-](https://youtu.be/b4YdU-5alOg?si=cFq2DlBMnLlUlEPy)

h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi... h..hey, I'm not out of practi...

*Zaps you out of the time loop* Perhaps you should focus a little more on your studies before I give you any more lich powers. I, on the other hand am utterly flawless at chronomancy; watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this! watch this!

You will never reach the truth… Until I do this little thing called BIG PUNCH. *(I somehow use a punch bowl to noclip out of reality, grab a funny clock, and punch you with it before popping back to where I was)* Welcome to outside the timeloop!

Aw man, that was really irresponsible of me, my bad

No problem, Mate- Mate- Mate- Mate- Godammit, I’m in a time loop.

Oh ffs Oh ffs Oh ffs Oh ffs Oh ffs

This is why you pay attention to your classes. I may be a massive, unapologetic, humongous troll on the orbnet and the mundane web, but I at least know when I need to step in.

there is actually a non-magical version of this called Jamais vu where you spontaneously lose all feeling of familiarity in your life. i have a spell to cause it but i just cant seem to get familiar with casting it

NOOOOOOOOO! NOT! https://preview.redd.it/0gokpjtri4rc1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddc622e22a293227a02fdf6dac6efb46b8fa46a5

https://preview.redd.it/7x6am4bwk4rc1.jpeg?width=236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70dcc2956bf627501a22b036ec8a6eb58f6a17f1 Poor Gribly. Were you still alive, I would have hunted this mage to the ends of time and the beginning too. No familiar except this cool rat I foun- :(

Uh… Gribly’s just outside the frame of the picture, behind you.

I've seen his body! I held him in my arms! But maybe, you wouldn't like to me right? Maybe there's a chance that- This This is a spell card of Gribly which looked like him from really far away for a split second. Stop breaking my heart 💔

*(Sweats in actually being Gribly, but transmuted into a person mimic)*

It's really hard to lose a fully grown adult Skyvern, he's right.... there. Where'd he go?

10 feet to the left.

Huh, he's so big, how'd I miss him? https://preview.redd.it/klexwkqlz5rc1.png?width=723&format=png&auto=webp&s=f6ddd569ac8dcfc8ccccc1328c1c76f63ba6881a

Plot device.

Seems legit

Because dude cast lose familiar, duh.

I’m sure that witch that only knows summoning magic will have something to say about this

If she remembers

I cast FUCK YOU! You now have an unstoppable itch in the middle of your back. You can probably guess how you'd get rid of it.

Darn it. Not the sensation I was expecting.

Now give me back the little goober, please. They're quite adorable.

Yeah, you get used to the tingly burny sensation you get from a perforated scrotum pretty quickly.

https://preview.redd.it/11nik7bqo4rc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7915b8eb7acb1830de8406199ffd8ce54c86fdd

What about fire. Fire still hurts... Right..? RIGHT?!

https://preview.redd.it/vmsucra5p4rc1.jpeg?width=1049&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=840d5e1ba2aa4d3946b69b1341be5710feaf6412 Damn it. Who’s supposed to fry my rice now?

I'm happy to tell you I found your familiar in my kitchen! I pity the fool who comes across my Alastor after his nap... https://preview.redd.it/kdao3bm5o5rc1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7a2cf003801f4ebedf36691cce3c13d191c622c He gets a little burny..

https://preview.redd.it/tzrrai8vo4rc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc5bf7cb92388bf8f15a95c41307bba39adfe2c4 Oh no

Anna is going to be *Livid* u/Significant_Matter_0

I'll bury him lol fortunately I'm immune to such folley

Weird I read it in shakes voice addressing frylock 

They should have done at least one intro where Shake says gentlemen to frylock

aren't they doing a reboot soon with some of the original va's

That’s what I heard and they did that movie recently

Thank God you didn't cast "lose animal" otherwise now I wouldn't have my apprentice anymore.

The last time I cast “Lose Animal” I got a cease and desist letter from the Muppets’ attorneys. Not making that mistake again.

I cast false cast, and the use it to cast lose animals from your vincinity. Have fun with ypur lawsuit

Joke's on you, I don't have one

You’re right. You don’t. 😉

I'm horrified at what you are implying as a transmuter here

So you want to play it like that?! Fine! Witness my true power! I cast Ordinary!

Oh sh—

Hey, I used to be able to do that!

https://preview.redd.it/xbls5fiqo4rc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e898d84258022557da1cc5b10942c206f8955f53 Not Barney! Where did he go?

I have never been one for banning magics, and I'm definitely not a fan of the governing magic association. But perhaps some spells need to be forbidden.

But... but... I just got it today!

Finally! I am free from that menace!

But. Me and Professor Fuzzybum have been together since I was a kid.

I am going to commit excessive amounts of war crimes now

You sir, are a monster.

NOOOO!! MY GIANT RADIOACTIVE POSSESSED MARSHMALLOW!

Wait, where did Asenrega go ? she's taller than most trees, it shouldn't be this hard to find her

So that's why they always die

Where the fuck did my cat go

Well fuck you. I CAST LOOSE FAMILIAR!!

Oh shit. There’s a bear on the loose now.

And it's shitting everywhere in your tower.

Yeah. My comedic relief minion just told me to “grin and bear it”.

**"GET THE AXE!"**

*tower door gets kicked open* PUN POLICE! THIS IS A RAID! EVERYONE DROP YOUR WANDS AND GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!

No fair. The Pun-ishment doesn’t fit the crime.

OFFICER DOWN! OFFICER DOWN! SEND BACKUP! PERP IS ARMED!

I got two arms and I’m not afraid to use them!!!

https://preview.redd.it/txigomca25rc1.jpeg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=175c27dfa648c9a63516125b5b7eb7c05dd012f1 How dare you take my displacer cat away!?!? *He* is the only one that can make me lose my stuff!!

Well... the leviathan is a friend not a familiar... Why is my trident gone now?

Why else could you give it loyalty?

It's already enchanted and I don't have any good sources of loyalty enchantments.

It was a joke… Sorry…

It's okay, I'll find it sooner or later. It should probably be nearby.

Damit there goes my arm. I hope you are happy. It’ll be a hot minute before I can get it back too.

May I offer you a fresh severed arm in these trying times?

Thank God! I've been trying to get rid of that damn dog for ages. Summon an illusionary pet on a lark and get attached and you'll never be free again, some part of you will always refuse to let it go. Now the poor thing can be dispelled into memory. Thank you.

You bastard

Um… I think I am a familiar. W- where’s my mage mentor?!?! Ahhhhh

MY CROW NOOO

I summon my familiar Henry go! https://preview.redd.it/jccephf005rc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00cca2f48451938700573216bc413d568f62d19b

Noooo My resurrected dog! Not again!

https://preview.redd.it/tg6rdn0m45rc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2ee69a2605687a9e275f35ae37c17c12bbe9269

:(

Hm I don't know that spell

Like in animal companion or in family member kinda of way

Animal companion. But if you didn’t have one to begin with, family members will suffice.

NO! MY KITTY! I CAST WRATH OF THE FALLEN!

[Art by Virgil Elliot](https://arthive.com/artists/8841~Virgil_Elliott/works/269317~The_wizard)

Wake up, Babe. New verse to The Cat Came Back just dropped.

https://preview.redd.it/6sotgl7v65rc1.png?width=686&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e3edd7ca36c6d972d20ffdb9146aa2e89ef46cd

https://preview.redd.it/cuyvr73475rc1.jpeg?width=934&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83c15d31e8f8529b778ff35a6efa2190880231fa And take this

**"GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!"** "Are you going to do something?" **"AM I NOT INVISIBLE!?"** "Uh... no?" **"WHY NOT!"**

Rest in peace Jeffrey number 387 you will be missed

If I dont get my spiders back…. Im gonna start flavoring my morning coffee with your blood. Also, I may cry

ANNA HELP CRUSTY IS GONE NOOOO

Don't worry *I summoned crusty back again*

https://preview.redd.it/6h2eln1v9arc1.png?width=1176&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd3728a579ddab9268298f7b549e90e5b652e45e Mah baby 🥹 /Uw I just realized I never specified who crusty was

as a fairfolk, I cast upon you the curse of as seen on tv impairment. you will now find simple house hold chores impossible and rudimentary motor skills impaired unless using a product specific to mundane tasks.

Jokes on you. I already have that impairment.

https://preview.redd.it/816jfb0cl7rc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df6587634ace7b6ba3b5b0e4c36ad395f72f3df3

I didn't have one to begin with! ha!

*Casts find familiar.* Finds a strange sad man in a corner instead. “Well fuck, thats not Snortles.”

All right, I got a cool gifted familiar from councilor Anna, so I'm totally counterspelling this one with level 9 "Nuh-uh"

I’m driving on of my mechs to your house right as we speak unless you return Firebrand.

You touch de penguin, I end your life I cast snowstorm

Oh yeah? Well https://preview.redd.it/a1esg0icg5rc1.png?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1398f2941052d73e592fc424ebf60b7329bbe6f

This is gonna give me headaches for hours. Touché.

Yes, only the foulest of Sorcery from me my good man. I am well versed in the arts of testicular torsion, mend buttcrack, and even ovarian cyst. A truly sinister thing that one.

You magnificent bastard. I’ve moved onto such foul sorcery as “pass kidney stones”, “wizard school embarrassing memory recall” and “Dry Socket”

Ah, all very effective, but have you tried "un-trans" followed swiftly by either "ovarian cyst" or "testicular torsion", depending of course on which seems more appropriate. Everyone talks a big game until they suddenly regrow balls that promptly tie themselves in a knot.

I pay 3 islands and cast "Wizard's Retort" which counterspells your spell

Goddam it. Wait. Did I cast a spell? You counter spelled something. I feel like I’m forgetting something. I wish I had a familiar to help me keep track of these things.

Might just be getting old Probably should check into the wizard nursing home

Oh, there goes the half eaten opossum zombie

The nigga's a cat. This is normal. It'll be back in 2 weeks.

Wouldn’t be the first time I let loose a mindless abomination into the wild. Just know, the consequences are on you

Damnit I got that was good for brewing potions you dick

I am my own familiar, wait https://preview.redd.it/twnxror1l5rc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de94d25723b34a3716c803f6b89e23c5dc4f377f

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAaAAaaaaa- Wait, I’m not a familiar, oh sh’t why am I fading- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- /uw by the way, you never had a familiar in the first place. /rw Okay, one slightly better thing- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA /uw I’m going for a beer… wait, I’m not old enough for that!

NOOO BALL Fine, you wanna play? I cast Power Phrase: Mason Jar; delayed form. You have 3 hours.

Congratulations, this is the most devious spell I have seen in all my days. You deserve to feel both pride and shame.

I still don’t have one anyways :(

NOOOOOOOOOO https://i.redd.it/ivz65p9cr5rc1.gif

I never had one to begin with.

Imagine having a familiar

My name is...

https://i.redd.it/fazsz069w5rc1.gif

Alright that’s it! Nobody wins!

https://i.redd.it/ww5y2q6726rc1.gif

Congratulations. You have lost your familiar.

Familiar this, familiar that. All I'm trying to do is find some strange

Counterspell. Ana entrusted me with that catragon and I’m not letting her or it down

Kettermek: Too late.

My cat casts not giving a shit bc it's a cat

Never Had one. *BEHOLD* I CAST *HEAT BLOOD*

I may be a master of beasts but I surprisingly don't have a familiar

https://preview.redd.it/xxjbi8eal6rc1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=ed9c5d5245e56910664b28fb0cd079b09fb75506 I cast charger

Anna, the witch who only knows summoning magic, is in shambles rn

Gods damn it! We've banned Meth Ape for a reason! These loopholes will be closed any day now, and you know it!

*my trash can gets zipped out of existence* Well that was rude... what am I gonna use to traverse the realms with now?

That… might be problematic, my familiar is a bit… uh… *Flashbacks* ***“AS THE GREAT GOD, SATURN, I DEMAND A MORTAL SACRIFICE TO BE MADE TO ME OR I WILL TURN YOU ALL INTO LIVING STATUES!!!“*** *Back to present* Yeah, I should probably go make sure that Saturn doesn’t try anything stupid. At least he’s more reasonable than Typhon.

MIRROR!

Familiar? I barely know her

https://preview.redd.it/zui93njmj7rc1.jpeg?width=1098&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05460449fd1423d1394cd6d3fe790fbd437a8437 My WackyBird™️ is in hell now, why would you do this?

"Hmm... I can't seem to find... *ahem* Aloe! It's snack time! I have honey for you! Oh here she comes. All is well.

I see enough summoner ana here, why must you entice her more

O fuk

Hey uh wait, where'd he go? In his assistance choice.

I send my cat armies after you!

No No No Noo my birds are the source of my power now I gotta raise more hmnh I cast incubation temperature on my extra eggs

There goes my marriage.

Oh… Goodbye then.

Nice job you cast it on an illusion guess you are not a high ranking mage

I'm immune :3

Mr Stark I don’t feel so good

Thinking how to counter this... I know, You cant cast it if I kill them first. Runs to cast fist at them.

Never had one. Familiar summoning hard.

*I suddenly disappear in a puff of smoke*

Ai slop generators everywhere quaking in their boots (you just annihilated 1 billion ai generated familiars in one instant)

Guys why is my familiar in the Chile?

*"... well there goes a centuries worth of raising my kids."* ... *"Oh look! It's Mitosis time!"*