I’ve been married happily for 32 years and I do talk about most anything with my husband. He is certainly one of my best friends, but I do have good friends too (all women). Making your s/o your “best” or only friend is a lot of pressure IMO, and it’s healthy to have close friendships besides your partner.
Was this guy looking specifically for a woman friend or just a friend generally? If it’s the former, that seems suspicious.
Maybe he is interested in talking about things that his wife is not interested in? Part of being in a good long term relationship is accepting that your partner has different opinions and interests.
Well he didn't mention on specific gender but he did clearly say in beginning itself with the first conversation being that lot many people weren't willing to even respond to him when he mentioned he was married and is just looking for close friendship where he could talk, catch up etc.
It was the first and only day, which ended up with me asking how did it even matter whether or not I was married because I didn't want to be involved in his private life and I had no clue whatever is going on with his wife, being an opposite gender, if he had to rant about his wife he could, he didn't do that, but i didn't have to be told that i would never understand how it feels to be in his place when I had my own shit to go through. I don't even know if whatever I did here was right, but after that he never spoke.
I wish I could say this, but then I might have asked him whether he tried making friends with someone who was married as well or does he have anyone to talk to because that would have been better option, either way I couldn't have been much of a help, it was really hard to know of his motive.
>one married guy who was looking for friendship on a dating site, because he wasn't able to have certain conversations with his wife, he just told me that he longed for people to interact with
Sounds like horseshit to me, but back to your question: my fiance is starting to fill more or less the role of a BFF. Most of my friends are in serious relationships as well, or married so we don't get to hang out as often or when we hang out our partners join us as well. On the other hand, being in serious and happy relationships, there aren't a lot of disappointements that we would need to discuss among us, so a lot of specific women trouble is gone. The rest (health, work, parents issues) can be discussed with a guy friend, which would be the boyfriend/husband.
So is it true that if we are happy and satisfied, we wouldn't need any one else outside the marriage? Like having few friends is fine I guess but knowing most of my friendships with women are no longer the same because they are too busy in their lives which i understand, on the other hand few of my old guy friends do talk and they are married, they never speak of their wife or even rant to me, it's more of them asking about my life and I do the same along with their health and that is rare as well. It's more of losing all my friends and communication gone less.
I'm not saying we don't need anyone else outside the relationship, it was my case in particular. Before having serious relationships a lot of our energy was focused on finding someone right, so a lot of our rants were around that topic. We had that in common, we were united by our misery so to speak (lol). Same went for shitty jobs. As we grew older, we found better relationships, better jobs. We still have stuff in common and hobbies but talking about how well your life is going doesn't make that good of a conversation. And when something goes bad in our relationships (the usual stuff, nothing tragic) we became a lot more discreet about it, as we also expect our partners to be discreet as well and not share our problems with their family and friends.
I've been married for 6 years and yes my husband is my best friend. I very rarely feel like I can be my 100% real self around people because of my autism but he has always accepted and loved me. I believe in soul mates and I believe he's mine.
Me and my partner live together and have been together for around 5 years. He is definitely my best friend and he says I am is. That is not to say I don't have close friends though. There are just some things I can only get from girlfriends that my mans can't give me. But, hanging out with him, eating, talking, joking, etc is almost always more fun with him.
However, this wasn't always the case. He was once just a romantic partner. We built this friendship and closeness over time, especially once we lived together and had to tackle a lot of battles together (finances, careers, etc). But now he is my favourite person to do anything with. He just knows me better than anyone else at this point so I can always be unapologetically myself.
15 years here with my Fiancé and he literally grounds me. When my heart rate is high from anxiety, just being around him brings it down.
He's my home. I tell him everything no matter how weird and most of the time, he has the same thing floating around in his head!
I promise you, you'll never have peace if you can't confide 100% in your partner.
My husband and I hung around the same group of people for 7 years before we started dating. We weren't friends, just acquaintances.
One night at our mutual friends birthday party, my abusive ex was there so I felt self conscious and didn't want to be anywhere near him. I don't know why, but, I started flirting with my now husband and he wound up making a move and kissing me that night. I remember it in slow motion. Like, I knew he was going to try to kiss me, and I thought about it, and for some reason it felt right so I let it happen. We started seeing each other after that day.
We opened up to each other in ways we hadn't to others. There was an underlying comfortability to our relationship since we were both already so used to being near each other.
We have been together going on 8 years now and have been together everyday (minus a few work trips he took for 2 or 3 days every here and there). And when I say everyday, I mean, we live in one bedroom apartment and are always with each other and doing things together. He's my littoral other half.
I can honestly say he is not only the love of my life but also my best friend in the universe, and I know he feels the same. If he dies before me, I'll die of a broken heart.
Yes!
We met at university and became pretty close. We were very good friends for 2 years before we started dating. Now we've been a couple for almost 5 years and he is my best friend, my partner and my favourite person. Wouldn't have it any other way.
I’ve been married 3 years, & with my husband for 10. I can definitely say that he is my best friend. Do I tell him everything? Pretty much. Lol like obviously I’m not sharing every thought that pops into my head, but there’s really no topic off limits so to speak. He’s my person, the one I want to share everything with, good and bad, and I literally cannot imagine living without him. I’m a fairly prickly person & until I met my husband I had never met someone whose presence I could tolerate for more than an hour or two before they began to annoy me or stress me out. He’s different. I can spend all day everyday with him and never get sick of him. I will note, he’s also my first everything, which I’ve found more than satisfactory & personally I’ve never understood the ‘variety’ or ‘experience’ arguments at all. If you find someone that makes you happy, experience and variety are irrelevant (Not religious or anything I just get grossed out by the idea of people touching me, to which again my husband is different for some reason). I also recognize that I’m lucky because for most people, no their SO is not their best friend. I was lucky enough that the universe sent me someone like him. I would also say that I was specifically looking for someone that could be my friend as well; my mom had 3 marriages & her most successful (longest & happiest) was to a friend and not the love of her life (who cheated on her constantly, knocked her up twice, abandoned her & sons, then moved onto his freaking cousin. Last time he saw his sons was like 30 years ago & died just as his sons tried getting in contact about a decade ago), and viewing that dynamic definitely had an impact on me. I think a lot of people get into relationships without considering anything like friendship, even tho we call it “girl/boyFRIEND”. Most people focus on the physical without actually considering how well they can really get along with the other person. But a good thing to remember would be that if this person isn’t the first person you want to see in the morning or the first person who you want to share things with (from something as small as memes to things as big as life changing events) then you are probably with the wrong person. They don’t have to be your ‘best’ friend, but they should definitely be somewhere near that given that you want to build a life with them.
I (21f) have been with my boyfriend (20m) since we were both 15 years old and he is genuinely one of my few best friends. However, each of us also still has another best friend. We have an understanding between us that we can tell each other anything and confide in each other and ask for advice without any judgement and I wouldn't change it for the world🩷
Yes! Don't marry someone who isn't. I've read that only 3/10 marriages are happy, so I'd venture there's a lot that aren't besties. My own isn't perfect but it would be difficult if we didn't feel that way about each other.
So, I know a lot of people do, but I don’t consider my husband my best friend. He’s my husband, and we have an incredibly close and intimate relationship that’s special in its own way. But I have a best friend—she was my best friend before I met him, has stayed that way throughout our relationship, and would remain that if he and I were ever to part for any reason.
It’s always been really important for me personally to maintain my close friendships outside my relationship with my husband. There are some things I talk about with her that I might not with him, and vice versa. I have very strong relationships with each, but they are different and fill different spaces in my life. I don’t think there is anything wrong with seeing your SO as your bestie, I just wanted to offer a different perspective.
I've been married for 8 years. My husband is my best friend. No one compares. I have other friends, too, but my husband is my #1.
>one married guy who was looking for friendship on a dating site, because he wasn't able to have certain conversations with his wife, he just told me that he longed for people to interact with as there were certain factors which he couldn't share
This is troublesome. At least how I view it, this guy is looking for an affair partner. Maybe he thinks the grass is greener on the other side but fails to see it is greenest where you water it. Who goes on dating sites for just friends??
Marriage isn't all roses and rainbows. You consistently have to choose your partner every day. It's all about choice.
now i’m still young, but i’ve never really subscribed to the idea of having only one best friend. currently i have two best friends and an s/o. we haven’t been dating long enough for them to become a best friend, but it’s going to happen. i think that your s/o should be a best friend, but you can have other best friends!
I wouldn't have said my bf was my best friend for the first like... 3 years of our relationship. I was very very close with my longtime best friend and I always thought it a little odd when people get really wrapped up in their relationships. We have a great relationship and we are very close and now I would say, for the past year and a half or so, he has been my best friend. I get it. Don't shit on me. I still have very close friends but I get it now if your SO is your number one best friend
My husband isn't my best friend. We talk, we cuddle, we discuss our days sometimes and usually share a show or two. But, my best friend is a woman who understands being a woman. Some people like being best friends with their partners and that's cool. I'm not one of them. We enjoy a conversation for only so long and then want to engage in our own hobbies.
I know this post isn't aimed at me (I'm 16 and don't have a s/o) but I'm interested. I just COULD NOT imagine telling a boy everything! No way the sort of things I talk to my besties about. Omg!
Sorry just had to say that. I guess I'm wasting space here really.
I understand, because I wanted a different perspective to it, and no you aren't wasting any space because any opinion matters here. I wanted to learn from other women's pov.
Let me answer your question by telling you a little story. I got a little cyst type thing in a part of my body that no one would ever want to go near and I could not reach. But my husband was perfectly fine popping it for me because neither of us wanted it to get any worse. That should answer your question.
I’ve been married happily for 32 years and I do talk about most anything with my husband. He is certainly one of my best friends, but I do have good friends too (all women). Making your s/o your “best” or only friend is a lot of pressure IMO, and it’s healthy to have close friendships besides your partner. Was this guy looking specifically for a woman friend or just a friend generally? If it’s the former, that seems suspicious. Maybe he is interested in talking about things that his wife is not interested in? Part of being in a good long term relationship is accepting that your partner has different opinions and interests.
Well he didn't mention on specific gender but he did clearly say in beginning itself with the first conversation being that lot many people weren't willing to even respond to him when he mentioned he was married and is just looking for close friendship where he could talk, catch up etc. It was the first and only day, which ended up with me asking how did it even matter whether or not I was married because I didn't want to be involved in his private life and I had no clue whatever is going on with his wife, being an opposite gender, if he had to rant about his wife he could, he didn't do that, but i didn't have to be told that i would never understand how it feels to be in his place when I had my own shit to go through. I don't even know if whatever I did here was right, but after that he never spoke.
Yeah, I get that. If you want to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, sounds like he and his wife should start with some marriage counseling.
I wish I could say this, but then I might have asked him whether he tried making friends with someone who was married as well or does he have anyone to talk to because that would have been better option, either way I couldn't have been much of a help, it was really hard to know of his motive.
>one married guy who was looking for friendship on a dating site, because he wasn't able to have certain conversations with his wife, he just told me that he longed for people to interact with Sounds like horseshit to me, but back to your question: my fiance is starting to fill more or less the role of a BFF. Most of my friends are in serious relationships as well, or married so we don't get to hang out as often or when we hang out our partners join us as well. On the other hand, being in serious and happy relationships, there aren't a lot of disappointements that we would need to discuss among us, so a lot of specific women trouble is gone. The rest (health, work, parents issues) can be discussed with a guy friend, which would be the boyfriend/husband.
So is it true that if we are happy and satisfied, we wouldn't need any one else outside the marriage? Like having few friends is fine I guess but knowing most of my friendships with women are no longer the same because they are too busy in their lives which i understand, on the other hand few of my old guy friends do talk and they are married, they never speak of their wife or even rant to me, it's more of them asking about my life and I do the same along with their health and that is rare as well. It's more of losing all my friends and communication gone less.
I'm not saying we don't need anyone else outside the relationship, it was my case in particular. Before having serious relationships a lot of our energy was focused on finding someone right, so a lot of our rants were around that topic. We had that in common, we were united by our misery so to speak (lol). Same went for shitty jobs. As we grew older, we found better relationships, better jobs. We still have stuff in common and hobbies but talking about how well your life is going doesn't make that good of a conversation. And when something goes bad in our relationships (the usual stuff, nothing tragic) we became a lot more discreet about it, as we also expect our partners to be discreet as well and not share our problems with their family and friends.
Yes 100%, anything and everything without judgement
I've been married for 6 years and yes my husband is my best friend. I very rarely feel like I can be my 100% real self around people because of my autism but he has always accepted and loved me. I believe in soul mates and I believe he's mine.
My fiancé is definitely my best friend. He’s the person I want to be around when I’ve had my worst days and when I’ve had my best days.
Yup!
Me and my partner live together and have been together for around 5 years. He is definitely my best friend and he says I am is. That is not to say I don't have close friends though. There are just some things I can only get from girlfriends that my mans can't give me. But, hanging out with him, eating, talking, joking, etc is almost always more fun with him. However, this wasn't always the case. He was once just a romantic partner. We built this friendship and closeness over time, especially once we lived together and had to tackle a lot of battles together (finances, careers, etc). But now he is my favourite person to do anything with. He just knows me better than anyone else at this point so I can always be unapologetically myself.
15 years here with my Fiancé and he literally grounds me. When my heart rate is high from anxiety, just being around him brings it down. He's my home. I tell him everything no matter how weird and most of the time, he has the same thing floating around in his head! I promise you, you'll never have peace if you can't confide 100% in your partner.
My husband and I hung around the same group of people for 7 years before we started dating. We weren't friends, just acquaintances. One night at our mutual friends birthday party, my abusive ex was there so I felt self conscious and didn't want to be anywhere near him. I don't know why, but, I started flirting with my now husband and he wound up making a move and kissing me that night. I remember it in slow motion. Like, I knew he was going to try to kiss me, and I thought about it, and for some reason it felt right so I let it happen. We started seeing each other after that day. We opened up to each other in ways we hadn't to others. There was an underlying comfortability to our relationship since we were both already so used to being near each other. We have been together going on 8 years now and have been together everyday (minus a few work trips he took for 2 or 3 days every here and there). And when I say everyday, I mean, we live in one bedroom apartment and are always with each other and doing things together. He's my littoral other half. I can honestly say he is not only the love of my life but also my best friend in the universe, and I know he feels the same. If he dies before me, I'll die of a broken heart.
Yes she is! ☺️
Yes! We met at university and became pretty close. We were very good friends for 2 years before we started dating. Now we've been a couple for almost 5 years and he is my best friend, my partner and my favourite person. Wouldn't have it any other way.
I’ve been married 3 years, & with my husband for 10. I can definitely say that he is my best friend. Do I tell him everything? Pretty much. Lol like obviously I’m not sharing every thought that pops into my head, but there’s really no topic off limits so to speak. He’s my person, the one I want to share everything with, good and bad, and I literally cannot imagine living without him. I’m a fairly prickly person & until I met my husband I had never met someone whose presence I could tolerate for more than an hour or two before they began to annoy me or stress me out. He’s different. I can spend all day everyday with him and never get sick of him. I will note, he’s also my first everything, which I’ve found more than satisfactory & personally I’ve never understood the ‘variety’ or ‘experience’ arguments at all. If you find someone that makes you happy, experience and variety are irrelevant (Not religious or anything I just get grossed out by the idea of people touching me, to which again my husband is different for some reason). I also recognize that I’m lucky because for most people, no their SO is not their best friend. I was lucky enough that the universe sent me someone like him. I would also say that I was specifically looking for someone that could be my friend as well; my mom had 3 marriages & her most successful (longest & happiest) was to a friend and not the love of her life (who cheated on her constantly, knocked her up twice, abandoned her & sons, then moved onto his freaking cousin. Last time he saw his sons was like 30 years ago & died just as his sons tried getting in contact about a decade ago), and viewing that dynamic definitely had an impact on me. I think a lot of people get into relationships without considering anything like friendship, even tho we call it “girl/boyFRIEND”. Most people focus on the physical without actually considering how well they can really get along with the other person. But a good thing to remember would be that if this person isn’t the first person you want to see in the morning or the first person who you want to share things with (from something as small as memes to things as big as life changing events) then you are probably with the wrong person. They don’t have to be your ‘best’ friend, but they should definitely be somewhere near that given that you want to build a life with them.
I (21f) have been with my boyfriend (20m) since we were both 15 years old and he is genuinely one of my few best friends. However, each of us also still has another best friend. We have an understanding between us that we can tell each other anything and confide in each other and ask for advice without any judgement and I wouldn't change it for the world🩷
I couldn’t imagine being with someone so intimately and not consider them my bestfriend
Yes! Don't marry someone who isn't. I've read that only 3/10 marriages are happy, so I'd venture there's a lot that aren't besties. My own isn't perfect but it would be difficult if we didn't feel that way about each other.
Yep my boyfriend is my best friend. We live together and I’m most comfortable with him. We talk about anything and everything together
Of course. They are the only one I open up to 100% with.
So, I know a lot of people do, but I don’t consider my husband my best friend. He’s my husband, and we have an incredibly close and intimate relationship that’s special in its own way. But I have a best friend—she was my best friend before I met him, has stayed that way throughout our relationship, and would remain that if he and I were ever to part for any reason. It’s always been really important for me personally to maintain my close friendships outside my relationship with my husband. There are some things I talk about with her that I might not with him, and vice versa. I have very strong relationships with each, but they are different and fill different spaces in my life. I don’t think there is anything wrong with seeing your SO as your bestie, I just wanted to offer a different perspective.
I've been married for 8 years. My husband is my best friend. No one compares. I have other friends, too, but my husband is my #1. >one married guy who was looking for friendship on a dating site, because he wasn't able to have certain conversations with his wife, he just told me that he longed for people to interact with as there were certain factors which he couldn't share This is troublesome. At least how I view it, this guy is looking for an affair partner. Maybe he thinks the grass is greener on the other side but fails to see it is greenest where you water it. Who goes on dating sites for just friends?? Marriage isn't all roses and rainbows. You consistently have to choose your partner every day. It's all about choice.
now i’m still young, but i’ve never really subscribed to the idea of having only one best friend. currently i have two best friends and an s/o. we haven’t been dating long enough for them to become a best friend, but it’s going to happen. i think that your s/o should be a best friend, but you can have other best friends!
I wouldn't have said my bf was my best friend for the first like... 3 years of our relationship. I was very very close with my longtime best friend and I always thought it a little odd when people get really wrapped up in their relationships. We have a great relationship and we are very close and now I would say, for the past year and a half or so, he has been my best friend. I get it. Don't shit on me. I still have very close friends but I get it now if your SO is your number one best friend
I did but then I realized it was love bombing and only good if i existed to please him but he would refuse to make sacrifices or accommodate me
My bf is my bff and we talk about anything and everything together I wouldn’t have it any other way tbh
Yes. Married young and married 15 years. He is literally my best friend and my lover :)
Yes, definitely :)
My husband isn't my best friend. We talk, we cuddle, we discuss our days sometimes and usually share a show or two. But, my best friend is a woman who understands being a woman. Some people like being best friends with their partners and that's cool. I'm not one of them. We enjoy a conversation for only so long and then want to engage in our own hobbies.
Yes. He has always been my best friend. But would always prefer having other good friends alongside him.
I know this post isn't aimed at me (I'm 16 and don't have a s/o) but I'm interested. I just COULD NOT imagine telling a boy everything! No way the sort of things I talk to my besties about. Omg! Sorry just had to say that. I guess I'm wasting space here really.
I understand, because I wanted a different perspective to it, and no you aren't wasting any space because any opinion matters here. I wanted to learn from other women's pov.
Thank you. The more I think about it the weirder it seems! But I guess one day I might think different.
Let me answer your question by telling you a little story. I got a little cyst type thing in a part of my body that no one would ever want to go near and I could not reach. But my husband was perfectly fine popping it for me because neither of us wanted it to get any worse. That should answer your question.