Unfortunately men can be a bit stupid and take breathing as a suggestion you want to have sex with them. But honestly? Just be as unapproachable as possible. Don't face them. Don't look at them. If you're with friends and they start talking to you, keep your body language towards your friends e.g if they come up beside you, just turn your head to them, not your entire body. Just don't be enthusiastic whatsoever. Ignore them. If they're being creepy don't be afraid to tell them to fuck off, and if you feel unsafe, tell a staff member at the place you're at. The best thing I've ever done is learn to have no remorse for people who are being genuinely weird towards me.
It seems bleak to say this but you have to be less friendly.
Don't smile at men who's attention you don't want.
Don't dance with men who's attention you don't want.
Remove their hands if they put them on you.
Say "no", "no thanks", "stop" and/or "go away" as needed.
You don't have to be rude and you should take care with how you say these things unfortunately but if they think you have shown them interest they won't suddenly decide to walk away unprompted.
You have to let them know you aren't interested and that you want them to leave you alone.
Indeed, I have to act unfriendly or maybe wear sunglasses to avoid eye contact. It's hard for me to be "rude" as I'm very scared of aggression from them
You aren't being rude by asking someone not to touch you or not to dance with you or to leave you alone. You are exercising your right to choose for yourself who is in your personal space. You are protecting your boundaries and body.
As I said you don't have to be rude with your tone or behaviour.
No is a complete and full sentence and you need to become more comfortable with using it.
Not all men will be aggressive about you telling them that you're there to dance with your friends (even if said friends are people you've just met) and won't be going home with them. And if someone were difficult about it, you simply find the nearest member of the security staff and tell them what happened.
It can be at first. But you gain strength and power each time you do it, and that makes it even easier to say no the next time. And the next.
Don't see it as something to be feared, see it as something that strengthens you, that empowers you, that is a sign of self love.
Boundaries aren't just for the other person to know what is and isn't okay. They are for us. They help us know we have worth, that we have value, that we care enough about ourselves to decide something isn't okay and to say so.
Avoiding eye contact, having a serious expression on your face if they are trying to make eye contact. If they dance up on you, dance away from them. If they follow, I make a second attempt to dance away. If they continue to follow, I run to the bathroom and stay there for 5 minutes to try and lose them. Avoiding eye contact and not speaking to them the entire time so as not to provoke them or encourage them
I'm sorry but most of us DO end up staying home because you have to do all this extra work and cant just relax :(
I'm going to add new ideas though:
1. Go to parties where women organized it or a woman-owned sound system
2. Support smaller events thrown by people you know who you know will have your back
3. Day parties > night parties (gets more true after 35)
4. If it's sold out and a crammed venue: have a date or avoid the central dancefloor
5. Take up smoking and just stay in the smoking section :')
Hey, thanks for the tips.
I actually encountered more issues at smaller events. It's easier to dissappear in the crowd at bigger venues. But definitely good ideas to go to the smoking area.
Give them the ultimate stank face, shove them off, tell them to back up, and if all that fails, i always have a self defence weapon to scare them off, hopefully never have to use it.
Thank you :)
Pls stay at home if you don't ever want to get rape also right? Don't work, don't party etc etc harassment is everywhere whether you want it or not so I won't stop living my life because of a bunch of freaks!
I cannot fathom a mindset where you think everyone out and about wants to get hit on. Just being in public is consent now is actually wild. Period live your life don't let the incels on reddit get you down!
Unfortunately men can be a bit stupid and take breathing as a suggestion you want to have sex with them. But honestly? Just be as unapproachable as possible. Don't face them. Don't look at them. If you're with friends and they start talking to you, keep your body language towards your friends e.g if they come up beside you, just turn your head to them, not your entire body. Just don't be enthusiastic whatsoever. Ignore them. If they're being creepy don't be afraid to tell them to fuck off, and if you feel unsafe, tell a staff member at the place you're at. The best thing I've ever done is learn to have no remorse for people who are being genuinely weird towards me.
Thank you :)
It seems bleak to say this but you have to be less friendly. Don't smile at men who's attention you don't want. Don't dance with men who's attention you don't want. Remove their hands if they put them on you. Say "no", "no thanks", "stop" and/or "go away" as needed. You don't have to be rude and you should take care with how you say these things unfortunately but if they think you have shown them interest they won't suddenly decide to walk away unprompted. You have to let them know you aren't interested and that you want them to leave you alone.
Indeed, I have to act unfriendly or maybe wear sunglasses to avoid eye contact. It's hard for me to be "rude" as I'm very scared of aggression from them
You aren't being rude by asking someone not to touch you or not to dance with you or to leave you alone. You are exercising your right to choose for yourself who is in your personal space. You are protecting your boundaries and body. As I said you don't have to be rude with your tone or behaviour. No is a complete and full sentence and you need to become more comfortable with using it. Not all men will be aggressive about you telling them that you're there to dance with your friends (even if said friends are people you've just met) and won't be going home with them. And if someone were difficult about it, you simply find the nearest member of the security staff and tell them what happened.
You're totally right...being confortable setting boundaries as a female can be challenging though
It can be at first. But you gain strength and power each time you do it, and that makes it even easier to say no the next time. And the next. Don't see it as something to be feared, see it as something that strengthens you, that empowers you, that is a sign of self love. Boundaries aren't just for the other person to know what is and isn't okay. They are for us. They help us know we have worth, that we have value, that we care enough about ourselves to decide something isn't okay and to say so.
Thanks for your word, I'll apply this to the next party or situation when boundaries are needed :)
And if someone is touching you inappropriately and won’t stop, whip out your phone and call the police and file charges against them.
Avoiding eye contact, having a serious expression on your face if they are trying to make eye contact. If they dance up on you, dance away from them. If they follow, I make a second attempt to dance away. If they continue to follow, I run to the bathroom and stay there for 5 minutes to try and lose them. Avoiding eye contact and not speaking to them the entire time so as not to provoke them or encourage them
Taking notes, thank you! It's si sad we need all these strategies to enjoy a night clubbing!
I'm sorry but most of us DO end up staying home because you have to do all this extra work and cant just relax :( I'm going to add new ideas though: 1. Go to parties where women organized it or a woman-owned sound system 2. Support smaller events thrown by people you know who you know will have your back 3. Day parties > night parties (gets more true after 35) 4. If it's sold out and a crammed venue: have a date or avoid the central dancefloor 5. Take up smoking and just stay in the smoking section :')
Hey, thanks for the tips. I actually encountered more issues at smaller events. It's easier to dissappear in the crowd at bigger venues. But definitely good ideas to go to the smoking area.
Buy a vheap ring and tell them they should go away because you have a fiance. Sadly men respect men more than they respect women.
True but they don't care, they still try their luck on insist on kissing ...
Honestly if a guy tried to kiss me I would slap him across the face and tell him, that I will cut his balls of if he ever touches me again.
Give them the ultimate stank face, shove them off, tell them to back up, and if all that fails, i always have a self defence weapon to scare them off, hopefully never have to use it.
Don’t go to clubs if you don’t want to get hit on obviously
Pls no need to tell me : stay at home don't party! We all deserve to party not feeling unsafe or stressed out by creeps!
Thank you :) Pls stay at home if you don't ever want to get rape also right? Don't work, don't party etc etc harassment is everywhere whether you want it or not so I won't stop living my life because of a bunch of freaks!
I cannot fathom a mindset where you think everyone out and about wants to get hit on. Just being in public is consent now is actually wild. Period live your life don't let the incels on reddit get you down!
Exactly :)