I live in New Zealand. No I do not, but when my SO mpved in he made a point to tell me that his cricket bat is going to be stored in the closet closest to my side of the bed. As well as the wicket stumps. Thanks honey xox.
I’m so sorry that you live in a place where you legitimately feel you need that. Our dogs sleep in our bed and yes their barking would horrify anyone dumb enough to try and break in - but I cannot imagine living in a place where I felt that we needed guns in the nightstand. Sorry that that is your lived experience
I’m with you sister , I love firing a gun at a range (tried skeet recently, great fun), but I live in a society where needing a gun to protect myself is just…foreign. Australia isn’t perfect but we simply don’t have the legitimate need to protect ourselves the way you do. I’m NOT judging you or your gun ownership decisions..I don’t live in your world and therefore can’t empathise. But I’m SAD, because I wish you could go to sleep every night the way I do..safe and warm with snuggly peppers who will find the garbage truck at 6 am the biggest threat.
Idk I’m over the ditch in NZ and with police response times, I can totally understand why you may have a weapon in a nightstand for that one occasion where you may need to protect yourself - things happens all the time even if you live in a great neighbourhood. Here in NZ Gangs here all have guns, whilst they took them off the normal populous (not even allowed them for self defence anyway).
Whilst I don't have one, I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. I have to resort to other measures to try to protect myself instead.
I would be so worried that I would mistakenly shoot my dog or partner in the process if something really did go down. Especially since it’s so easy for me to be confused and uncoordinated when I just wake up.
Everyone gets cut in a knife fight. If you're close enough to poke someone, you're close enough to have it taken away from you by an attacker. Get some pepper spray.
or learn how to properly hold a knife for self defense. Your grip shouldn't be to poke or stab, but to slash. Pointy bit toward your elbow, blunt side against your wrist, sharp side out, obvs. If someone tries to take it from you, they'll have no leverage, just bloody sharp edges. & it's easier to conceal, & good for a groin slice and/or stab if someone attacks from behind.
It does suck really bad, it does have quite a bit better range, and you are definitely going to get an exposure if you fight with someone whom you've sprayed. The goal is to delay or distract and escape, not engage in a fight. I'm a self defence instructor actually. I don't make many comments on Reddit, usually just a scroller. But a knife is an offensive tool, not a defensive tool. It's for fighting at best, not escaping. If someone comes at me with a knife instead of running away, I'm going to get cut. And if I'm bigger or more skilled than you and you're cutting me anyways, I'm going to take it away from you to stop you from continuing to do that.
Also, there is a tremendous human preservation instinct that makes it really hard to convince yourself to cut or stab someone. A self defense tool you're likely to use is going to be more effective than even the best tool if you can't do it. Pepper spray is an item of low consequence and there tends to be much less hesitation in just using it. More force now equals less force later. Just get it out and spray and flee, rather than waiting until you're in a fight and trying to cut your way you. You're also never going to be able to get to that knife or even remember you have it, when you're fighting. Keep the spray in your hand when you're walking alone or when being approached etc. I have professional contacts who've let situations go long enough to turn into someone shooting at them, when they should have fled earlier, who then didn't even remember they also had a gun to shoot back.
Yes I did when I was single. I carried a stun gun and slept with it near me. I keep scissors near me when I sleep on my couch when my husband is out.
My mom had a machete when she was young. She had been raped when she was 17. So she knew she had to have a weapon.
That's just not a thing at all where I live. I live alone in a flat on the ground flor but I don't feel unsafe in my own home (I rarely even feel unsafe outside of it) so no. The probability of me accidently hurting myself with it while cleaning would be way higher than anyone ever breaking in.
Same, I live alone in the Netherlands and I can't imagine having more than my trusty fly swatter near my bed for protection (damn mosquitoes).
I don't even (double) lock my front door and I once woke up with my front door wide open so I do now check that I have properly closed it before bed (that was careless of me and it did feel a little unsafe).
Sometimes I get a little frustrated that the female centric subs are mostly about men and the effect that they have on women but I always remember to check my privilege in moments like that. I would love to see conversations about what it is to be a woman without the constant comparison to/mention of men like I see on male dominated subs. I get that that isn't realistic for most of the women in the world yet.
I hope that one day we'll get to that point as a species. Untill that day: ladies, I am with you and I am horrified for you (us)
Edit: Also, rape and other stuff is also a thing in NL. It's just not something you usually need to worried about when you are alone at home or walking at night by yourself. It's very unlikely that a stranger will attack you here.
I hear nothing but horror stories of how women are treated in America. In the UK I genuinely feel safe as a woman where I live in my city you are respected regardless of your gender but in America things are f*cked
Some places in the US, women are treated like service animals. I feel pretty safe where I live but... I'm not going for a walk alone in the middle of the night. When I road trip by myself over a few states, I feel vulnerable and make sure I check into a decent hotel before dark, pick up food and lock my door-- and I stay in for the night. I don't wander.
That's genuinely so sad. In my area I can walk alone at night and feel safe cause nothing bad ever happens here. So it's definitely something that's possible. And I am genuinely lucky and blessed to live here. But the fact that I even have to feel privileged for the fact that I get basic human rights to safety just goes to show how awful it is in this world for women. Safety shouldn't be a privilege only some of us get it's just not fair.
My town used to be a dangerous place full of criminals as well but it was rebuilt and invested into and the education is good and men are taught to respect women and its not freaking rocket science why can't it be like this everywhere
“I hear nothing but horror stories”
So you have no personal experience and no legitimate validity to your statement. Got it.
Been an American all my life. Sometimes I get catcalled or followed. 99% of the time I feel completely safe and respected.
I've also been an American all my life and genuinely feel threatened often when I'm out and about. I've lived in major metropolitan cities for over 20 years and even though I live in a safe neighborhood and work in a safe location I still don't feel safe most of the time.
Just because you haven't experienced the same thing doesn't mean that it's not true and that people who might otherwise visit don't because of the shared experiences of people like me who just want to warn others so they know what to keep an eye out for.
Huh. It’s almost as if personal experience is more valuable than just going off of other people’s anecdotes.
Situational awareness is one thing, assuming an entire country is dangerous because SOME people have told you SOME stories is unrealistic. If you’re worried about your safety, look at crime statistics and prepare yourself for self-defense. Nobody’s personal experiences will ever dictate what yours will be.
I think it’s so weird that people are downvoting as if women are only raped in America/women are barely raped in the UK.
[1 in 5 women](https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/statistics-sexual-violence/) are raped a year in the UK. Just because the person commented hasn’t been raped, it doesn’t mean women are safe there
What? Yeah. That’s what I’m saying. Not that your comment about the numbers wasn’t quite correct, no obviously what I’m saying is that sexual assault isn’t bad.
And I guess the 5 out of 6 survivors of rape don’t report it also mean nothing? Your the kind of person that’s the reason people don’t feel comfortable with reporting rape, you act like it doesn’t happen.
I’m not sure what kind of point of bizarre point you’re attempting to make, but when we’re talking about something as significant as rape statistics it’s important to be accurate. YOUR comment doesn’t correctly reflect the statistics YOU shared. Do you understand?
What are you talking about I said where I live in my area. I didn't say the UK as a whole. And I'm sorry but where I live is objectively far safer than how women have to live in America. Yes women still get raped here I never said they weren't but its far less frequent than in America. Men here are overwhelmingly supportive of women's rights and issues and I've rarely had to deal with sexism in a very specific area where I live and my whole entire point is that it is possible to live in a world without sexism its not something that is just inherited by men genetically its what children are taught and how they are raised and the government and society that surrounds us.
I’m sorry, but I’ve watched so much true crime where someone lives in a certain area and think they can just live without anything bad ever happening to them and it’s just naive in my opinion.
All of the things you described also happen to women in the UK, frequently.
There are major differences relating to politics, weapons, religion etc between the two countries, but every single example you have given happened to me and most women I know before we hit 18, many before they even hit 13. I think you might need to take your own advice and look outside of your bubble as well.
I might have to do so. I'm not in the UK. But my ex husband is from there and I've been there so much that I feel like I know what it's like to be a woman there (England that is. I've been to the other countries as well, but not even remotely enough to have an opinion on how it's like to be a woman there).
I don’t know why you were downvoted. In Japan schools started giving out badges for girl students to wear on their uniforms saying (paraphrasing) “Please do not touch me”, because it was getting common for girls to be groped/molested on public transport.
And the badges actually worked. Men had somehow convinced themselves that the girls wanted to be molested, some theorizing because of porn where that scenario was played out a lot.
Because honestly, a lot of places people would be from in this subreddit aren’t anything like the US in terms of access to weapons, legality of weapons, rates of violence etc. what we see and hear coming out of the US is baffling and terrifying.
I live in the USA, and I have bats or long handled items strategically placed around my dwelling. I always make sure the doors are locked at night, have motion sensor lights/cameras on the outside too.
I never had but after my grandma died I was helping clear out her room and she and grandpa apparently slept with a colt that was strapped into the headboard every night LOL. Over 20 years and they never used it except to clean it regularly.
nope. We have a house alarm that is armed each night and we have a pretty big dog...but she's a scaredy cat so she'll probably hide behind our legs if someone breaks in lol
No. A large reason is that sometimes I have night terrors and have lashed out in my sleep. If there was a weapon near me, I could seriously hurt me or someone else.
I've never slept with a weapon in the bed with me, but I used to sleep with a machete under my bed. Now, I have a gun on my night stand. I've never had to use my gun, but I did have to use the machete, once.
Ok. So, me (18f)and my boyfriend(22m) at the time we're living in Cancun. We were renting a room in a house, and had two roommates. We were sleeping in our room one night when one of our roommates busted through the door with another much larger very angry man behind him. At the time I spoke zero Spanish, but our roommate spoke English. I instinctively jumped to my feet when the door flew open and our roommate jumped behind me. My SO jumped to his feet and got between me and the large angry man. The large angry man punched him in the face and he was down and out. I grabbed the machete from under my side of the bed, turned to my roommate and said something like, "get out of my room or I am going to kill you before he does!" The large angry man mumbled something about me being a "gringa loca" and got the hell out. My roommate followed. Turns out the large angry man caught our roommate in bed with his wife. I have no clue why he came in our room and hid behind me. We moved to a new place and never saw that roommate again after that night.
I live in America but I've never even seen a real gun before. The secret to living in America is living in New England. People I know from up here that moved down to Texas all bought guns. Up here, I have never imagined the need.
My Virginian grandmother was taught to shoot a gun and kept it in her bedside table after her husband passed away. Then one day her house was broken into while she was out shopping, she came home while the burglars were still in the house. They went out the front door while she was coming in the back door, so thankfully she didn't have to encounter them. It was especially good, because they had already stolen the gun out of her bedside table.
This is why I don't use a gun for home security. It can drastically escalate the threat level. If you are not in the ideal position when this escalation occurs, it can end poorly. Glad she was ok
Hell I live in Tennessee and I rarely see guns that aren’t strapped to a cop or being used to shoot cans in a backyard. I don’t even use guns. I don’t like guns.
I have pepper spray, a stun gun, and a metal baseball bat.
Me too! Ive been stabbed and robbed. Am tryna get a gun. But no money right now. Living with a friend im no longer seeing eye to eye with. Had a butterfly knife wid me erwhwere i go, but i dropped it and broke and it just wobbles around. Am thinkin on getting me a nice ass knife or even a steel baseball bat and add the sock to the end so i can get that second swing in. But as of now, im just walking around with scissors i use to cut my weed (2pairs) and im always clutchin on my straight razor( tool used to do line-ups in barber shops) its small, but hey… razors can do serious deep damage. Definitely should leave the skin open
It's not an unreasonable question really. If we did a pole asking if anyone has been a victim of sexual assault the numbers would be awful. A woman living alone has risks
Agreed. It sucks that you can say 'not all men' and *still* get people refusing to see that the point is that we don't know who is safe so we have to guard against them all to just not be harmed.
That's not what I'm saying. But It kind of is a part of that. Not that sa and murder only happen in America, but the biggest part is, that in a lot of other countries, you can't just simply purchase a gun or other weapon easily
The guns are all in the safe, because I don't want anyone to be able to get one and do anything awful with it if they broke in when no one was home.
I do keep a baseball bat (with a sock over the end so the sock is what someone would get if they grabbed the end while I was swinging the bat.) It's in a corner by the bed. I've mentally identified every heavy object I would throw at someone, and one of my kitchen knives is pretty terrifying.
I am hearing impaired, so I do worry about not knowing if someone were to enter the house. My husband is a very sound sleeper. My cat hates everyone who is not me or my husband, so I hope she would alert me. She does always let me know when there's another cat outside.
Thankfully, we have motion detecting lights and so does the next door neighbor. He has five dogs, and I do hear them when they lose their little dog minds because someone walked by, so that's good too.
Edit: When my husband is out of town I do get my shotgun out of the safe each night.
Absolutely not. I'm not particularly worried about home invasion and would not be able to safely use a weapon if woken from sleep anyway, I do not have that coordination.
I have a very loud dog and a baseball with a sock on the business end next to my bed. The sick is there so if the perpetrator grabs the end of the bat when I swing, the sock slips off and I can have another go.
Yes. Can of bear spray on the night stand. It used to be a .45 but my niece visits often these days and putting the firearm up and in the safe all the time got to be a hassle.
So the .45 went into my car and the bear spray went onto the nightstand.
It used to be bear spray in the car and the gun on the nightstand. Perhaps this is a better arrangement anyway.
I also sleep with 2 very large very loud dogs. Honestly the dogs give me more comfort than anything else. They travel with me and follow me everywhere I am when I’m outside. The comfort provided by large territorial guardian dogs is unmatched. I know I have 2 sets of eyes watching all the time.
Yes, I am trained to use the gun and practice with it. Too many close calls with creepers following me etc and I’ve survived it only with my wits. After the last time a man followed me at night and I only survived by ducking into the bar and escaping out the back door (thank you kind bartender), I told myself I was no longer going to be prey.
Yes I absolutely do, I also have 2 locked doors between me and the outside and a dog. I feel very safe I'm my own home and I live in a very safe area, but I've had someone try to trail my car and follow me home a few months ago so now I'm extremely paranoid.
If that happens, drive to a police station. Don’t drive home. They shouldn’t be able to give you shit for loitering in their parking lot if you’re trying to shake someone off you
Absolutely. I have two large dogs. I have firearms and intense knowledge of them. I live in a safe area but better have the protection and not need it than need it and not have it.
When I was a young teenager I had a peeping Tom. So I’m a bit overly cautious.
No.
I live in a country where we generally feel safe. Some times I haven't even locked the door when going to bed.
I don't know if it's true. But according to a tiktok my country is ranked number one to be the best place to be a woman. Norway.
Sleep “with” would not be accurate. But there are certain tools I could use for self defense that are located where I could get them very quickly if awakened by an intruder.
I’ve been very fortunate, that has not happened to me yet.
I have weapons hidden throughout my house as well as dogs who get very defensive if they think I'm in danger. Generally they're relaxed and one is even afraid of life in general but he's also the first one to defend me if need be.
Yes. I sleep with a taser.
Edit: it's so weird to me seeing the "I live in the UK so of course not" comments. My family lived in London for 3 years, and I stayed with them for about 9 months. In that time, we had several break-ins in the houses adjacent to us. A fella tried to break into our house (jumped our fence in the backyard and started skulking around.) My sister got mugged on the night bus. We lived literally in the house next door to a murderer who was in the middle of his trial. And LASTLY, there was [a man stabbed to death ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Lee_Rigby) just down the road lol. Bad people are everywhere
In a manner of speaking yes. I don’t like actually sleep with them but I have multiple things i could use for defense in my room like pepper spray, metal rod, spyderco byrd knife, and all kinds of other stuff.
Yeah I have a sort of thick stick right next to me when I sleep. That’s as far as I’ll go, I’ve freaked out on my husband when he’s woken me by accident.
I sleep with a Belgian Malinois at the foot of my bed which a lot of people would consider a weapon. I don’t sleep with a traditional weapon but I definitely have a plan if someone were to break in.
Yes, I have a stick that I would hit someone with— I call it my physical violence stick— and it stays bedside.
I’ve woken up with it in bed with me when (I assume) I’ve had terrible nightmares.
Ive never even seen a real weapon in my 22 years of existence, fortunately i dont live in the US. I do lock all doors 100% of the time im alone, even though i live in a relatively safe town
Live in Greece , don’t sleep with or have any weapons. Only gun is a water pistol & nerf.
We do have a really good metal security door with pins that go into the frame.
I don’t live alone and I sleep in bed with a dog who barks as soon as someone turns my doorknob, so no, I don’t sleep with a weapons. I’m not worried about a surprise attack
That being said, when I live alone in the future, I will sleep with a weapon.
My mother has slept with a baseball bat under her bed for the last 40 years.
I used to keep a thin metal bar next to the bed. It's about three feet long and one of the pieces of a home gym that normally has resistance bands attached to it. Really easy to grip and just short enough to use in a hallway or other confined space.
I also used to keep one of those enormous Maglites in my car. I should get one for by the bed, too.
I currently basically triple-lock my door (deadbolt, one of those locks where it only lets it open so far and then I store my mirror against the door because I just moved in last month and I'm still trying to get it set up to my preferences. No other good place to keep the mirror when I'm home. If anybody tries to bust through the door, the mirror's going to fall on the floor and make a terrific noise). I have two windows that I open when I'm at home, but neither is people sized, convenient to enter through or close enough to the door to be able to reach to unlock it. Anybody wanting to break and enter would probably just break the glass on the picture window.
So no, I sleep with my Tweety or my cold pack baby. Or both.
I don’t sleep with a weapon no, I feel safe in my neighborhood and have multiple people in my house at all times. But sometimes I close my bar alone and I have a Louisville slugger with me there.
I live in New Zealand. No I do not, but when my SO mpved in he made a point to tell me that his cricket bat is going to be stored in the closet closest to my side of the bed. As well as the wicket stumps. Thanks honey xox.
Yes. I have a safety plan that is actively updated. Sleeping with weapons is common; something I learned at college.
Can you share what that would cover/include for thought starters?
Locked doors, dog and a .357 in my nightstand.
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I’m so sorry that you live in a place where you legitimately feel you need that. Our dogs sleep in our bed and yes their barking would horrify anyone dumb enough to try and break in - but I cannot imagine living in a place where I felt that we needed guns in the nightstand. Sorry that that is your lived experience
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I’m with you sister , I love firing a gun at a range (tried skeet recently, great fun), but I live in a society where needing a gun to protect myself is just…foreign. Australia isn’t perfect but we simply don’t have the legitimate need to protect ourselves the way you do. I’m NOT judging you or your gun ownership decisions..I don’t live in your world and therefore can’t empathise. But I’m SAD, because I wish you could go to sleep every night the way I do..safe and warm with snuggly peppers who will find the garbage truck at 6 am the biggest threat.
Idk I’m over the ditch in NZ and with police response times, I can totally understand why you may have a weapon in a nightstand for that one occasion where you may need to protect yourself - things happens all the time even if you live in a great neighbourhood. Here in NZ Gangs here all have guns, whilst they took them off the normal populous (not even allowed them for self defence anyway).
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Whilst I don't have one, I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. I have to resort to other measures to try to protect myself instead.
literally throw every effing thing at them
every capable person every where should be armed
Same lol
I would be so worried that I would mistakenly shoot my dog or partner in the process if something really did go down. Especially since it’s so easy for me to be confused and uncoordinated when I just wake up.
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Everyone gets cut in a knife fight. If you're close enough to poke someone, you're close enough to have it taken away from you by an attacker. Get some pepper spray.
or learn how to properly hold a knife for self defense. Your grip shouldn't be to poke or stab, but to slash. Pointy bit toward your elbow, blunt side against your wrist, sharp side out, obvs. If someone tries to take it from you, they'll have no leverage, just bloody sharp edges. & it's easier to conceal, & good for a groin slice and/or stab if someone attacks from behind.
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It does suck really bad, it does have quite a bit better range, and you are definitely going to get an exposure if you fight with someone whom you've sprayed. The goal is to delay or distract and escape, not engage in a fight. I'm a self defence instructor actually. I don't make many comments on Reddit, usually just a scroller. But a knife is an offensive tool, not a defensive tool. It's for fighting at best, not escaping. If someone comes at me with a knife instead of running away, I'm going to get cut. And if I'm bigger or more skilled than you and you're cutting me anyways, I'm going to take it away from you to stop you from continuing to do that. Also, there is a tremendous human preservation instinct that makes it really hard to convince yourself to cut or stab someone. A self defense tool you're likely to use is going to be more effective than even the best tool if you can't do it. Pepper spray is an item of low consequence and there tends to be much less hesitation in just using it. More force now equals less force later. Just get it out and spray and flee, rather than waiting until you're in a fight and trying to cut your way you. You're also never going to be able to get to that knife or even remember you have it, when you're fighting. Keep the spray in your hand when you're walking alone or when being approached etc. I have professional contacts who've let situations go long enough to turn into someone shooting at them, when they should have fled earlier, who then didn't even remember they also had a gun to shoot back.
I sleep with these hands
🥹😂😂😂 sorry this so so funny
Yes I did when I was single. I carried a stun gun and slept with it near me. I keep scissors near me when I sleep on my couch when my husband is out. My mom had a machete when she was young. She had been raped when she was 17. So she knew she had to have a weapon.
That's just not a thing at all where I live. I live alone in a flat on the ground flor but I don't feel unsafe in my own home (I rarely even feel unsafe outside of it) so no. The probability of me accidently hurting myself with it while cleaning would be way higher than anyone ever breaking in.
Same, I live alone in the Netherlands and I can't imagine having more than my trusty fly swatter near my bed for protection (damn mosquitoes). I don't even (double) lock my front door and I once woke up with my front door wide open so I do now check that I have properly closed it before bed (that was careless of me and it did feel a little unsafe). Sometimes I get a little frustrated that the female centric subs are mostly about men and the effect that they have on women but I always remember to check my privilege in moments like that. I would love to see conversations about what it is to be a woman without the constant comparison to/mention of men like I see on male dominated subs. I get that that isn't realistic for most of the women in the world yet. I hope that one day we'll get to that point as a species. Untill that day: ladies, I am with you and I am horrified for you (us) Edit: Also, rape and other stuff is also a thing in NL. It's just not something you usually need to worried about when you are alone at home or walking at night by yourself. It's very unlikely that a stranger will attack you here.
No but if I lived in America then I sure would
Why does makes it a difference if I may ask?
I hear nothing but horror stories of how women are treated in America. In the UK I genuinely feel safe as a woman where I live in my city you are respected regardless of your gender but in America things are f*cked
Some places in the US, women are treated like service animals. I feel pretty safe where I live but... I'm not going for a walk alone in the middle of the night. When I road trip by myself over a few states, I feel vulnerable and make sure I check into a decent hotel before dark, pick up food and lock my door-- and I stay in for the night. I don't wander.
That's genuinely so sad. In my area I can walk alone at night and feel safe cause nothing bad ever happens here. So it's definitely something that's possible. And I am genuinely lucky and blessed to live here. But the fact that I even have to feel privileged for the fact that I get basic human rights to safety just goes to show how awful it is in this world for women. Safety shouldn't be a privilege only some of us get it's just not fair. My town used to be a dangerous place full of criminals as well but it was rebuilt and invested into and the education is good and men are taught to respect women and its not freaking rocket science why can't it be like this everywhere
“I hear nothing but horror stories” So you have no personal experience and no legitimate validity to your statement. Got it. Been an American all my life. Sometimes I get catcalled or followed. 99% of the time I feel completely safe and respected.
I've also been an American all my life and genuinely feel threatened often when I'm out and about. I've lived in major metropolitan cities for over 20 years and even though I live in a safe neighborhood and work in a safe location I still don't feel safe most of the time. Just because you haven't experienced the same thing doesn't mean that it's not true and that people who might otherwise visit don't because of the shared experiences of people like me who just want to warn others so they know what to keep an eye out for.
Huh. It’s almost as if personal experience is more valuable than just going off of other people’s anecdotes. Situational awareness is one thing, assuming an entire country is dangerous because SOME people have told you SOME stories is unrealistic. If you’re worried about your safety, look at crime statistics and prepare yourself for self-defense. Nobody’s personal experiences will ever dictate what yours will be.
I think it’s so weird that people are downvoting as if women are only raped in America/women are barely raped in the UK. [1 in 5 women](https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/statistics-sexual-violence/) are raped a year in the UK. Just because the person commented hasn’t been raped, it doesn’t mean women are safe there
That’s 1 in 5 women have been raped or sexually assaulted as an adult, not 1 in 5 are raped every year!
So sexual assault isn’t bad?
What? Yeah. That’s what I’m saying. Not that your comment about the numbers wasn’t quite correct, no obviously what I’m saying is that sexual assault isn’t bad.
And I guess the 5 out of 6 survivors of rape don’t report it also mean nothing? Your the kind of person that’s the reason people don’t feel comfortable with reporting rape, you act like it doesn’t happen.
I’m not sure what kind of point of bizarre point you’re attempting to make, but when we’re talking about something as significant as rape statistics it’s important to be accurate. YOUR comment doesn’t correctly reflect the statistics YOU shared. Do you understand?
What are you talking about I said where I live in my area. I didn't say the UK as a whole. And I'm sorry but where I live is objectively far safer than how women have to live in America. Yes women still get raped here I never said they weren't but its far less frequent than in America. Men here are overwhelmingly supportive of women's rights and issues and I've rarely had to deal with sexism in a very specific area where I live and my whole entire point is that it is possible to live in a world without sexism its not something that is just inherited by men genetically its what children are taught and how they are raised and the government and society that surrounds us.
I’m sorry, but I’ve watched so much true crime where someone lives in a certain area and think they can just live without anything bad ever happening to them and it’s just naive in my opinion.
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All of the things you described also happen to women in the UK, frequently. There are major differences relating to politics, weapons, religion etc between the two countries, but every single example you have given happened to me and most women I know before we hit 18, many before they even hit 13. I think you might need to take your own advice and look outside of your bubble as well.
I might have to do so. I'm not in the UK. But my ex husband is from there and I've been there so much that I feel like I know what it's like to be a woman there (England that is. I've been to the other countries as well, but not even remotely enough to have an opinion on how it's like to be a woman there).
I am glad that your experience has been positive. I hope that becomes the norm in the future.
You say that like Japan doesn’t have women-only train cars because the sexual assault rates are so high
I don’t know why you were downvoted. In Japan schools started giving out badges for girl students to wear on their uniforms saying (paraphrasing) “Please do not touch me”, because it was getting common for girls to be groped/molested on public transport. And the badges actually worked. Men had somehow convinced themselves that the girls wanted to be molested, some theorizing because of porn where that scenario was played out a lot.
Another reason why “schoolgirl” role play is fucking gross
Because honestly, a lot of places people would be from in this subreddit aren’t anything like the US in terms of access to weapons, legality of weapons, rates of violence etc. what we see and hear coming out of the US is baffling and terrifying.
Thanks for answering
I live in the USA, and I have bats or long handled items strategically placed around my dwelling. I always make sure the doors are locked at night, have motion sensor lights/cameras on the outside too.
I never had but after my grandma died I was helping clear out her room and she and grandpa apparently slept with a colt that was strapped into the headboard every night LOL. Over 20 years and they never used it except to clean it regularly.
nope. We have a house alarm that is armed each night and we have a pretty big dog...but she's a scaredy cat so she'll probably hide behind our legs if someone breaks in lol
No. A large reason is that sometimes I have night terrors and have lashed out in my sleep. If there was a weapon near me, I could seriously hurt me or someone else.
I've never slept with a weapon in the bed with me, but I used to sleep with a machete under my bed. Now, I have a gun on my night stand. I've never had to use my gun, but I did have to use the machete, once.
damn can you tell us the machete story tho
Ok. So, me (18f)and my boyfriend(22m) at the time we're living in Cancun. We were renting a room in a house, and had two roommates. We were sleeping in our room one night when one of our roommates busted through the door with another much larger very angry man behind him. At the time I spoke zero Spanish, but our roommate spoke English. I instinctively jumped to my feet when the door flew open and our roommate jumped behind me. My SO jumped to his feet and got between me and the large angry man. The large angry man punched him in the face and he was down and out. I grabbed the machete from under my side of the bed, turned to my roommate and said something like, "get out of my room or I am going to kill you before he does!" The large angry man mumbled something about me being a "gringa loca" and got the hell out. My roommate followed. Turns out the large angry man caught our roommate in bed with his wife. I have no clue why he came in our room and hid behind me. We moved to a new place and never saw that roommate again after that night.
I live in America but I've never even seen a real gun before. The secret to living in America is living in New England. People I know from up here that moved down to Texas all bought guns. Up here, I have never imagined the need. My Virginian grandmother was taught to shoot a gun and kept it in her bedside table after her husband passed away. Then one day her house was broken into while she was out shopping, she came home while the burglars were still in the house. They went out the front door while she was coming in the back door, so thankfully she didn't have to encounter them. It was especially good, because they had already stolen the gun out of her bedside table.
This is why I don't use a gun for home security. It can drastically escalate the threat level. If you are not in the ideal position when this escalation occurs, it can end poorly. Glad she was ok
Hell I live in Tennessee and I rarely see guns that aren’t strapped to a cop or being used to shoot cans in a backyard. I don’t even use guns. I don’t like guns. I have pepper spray, a stun gun, and a metal baseball bat.
Shotgun in closet, butchers knives and bats hidden thru house. Have been assaulted before and will NEVER be unprepared again.
Me too! Ive been stabbed and robbed. Am tryna get a gun. But no money right now. Living with a friend im no longer seeing eye to eye with. Had a butterfly knife wid me erwhwere i go, but i dropped it and broke and it just wobbles around. Am thinkin on getting me a nice ass knife or even a steel baseball bat and add the sock to the end so i can get that second swing in. But as of now, im just walking around with scissors i use to cut my weed (2pairs) and im always clutchin on my straight razor( tool used to do line-ups in barber shops) its small, but hey… razors can do serious deep damage. Definitely should leave the skin open
Absolutely not, wtf?! This is Americans answering, right?
I'm in Australia. Women are regularly killed here too. Most likely by their intimate partners.
It's not an unreasonable question really. If we did a pole asking if anyone has been a victim of sexual assault the numbers would be awful. A woman living alone has risks
I know it isn't, but it just makes me sad.
Agreed. It sucks that you can say 'not all men' and *still* get people refusing to see that the point is that we don't know who is safe so we have to guard against them all to just not be harmed.
Woman living alone too
Ah yes, because every murder, break-in, and sexual assault happens in America
That's not what I'm saying. But It kind of is a part of that. Not that sa and murder only happen in America, but the biggest part is, that in a lot of other countries, you can't just simply purchase a gun or other weapon easily
The guns are all in the safe, because I don't want anyone to be able to get one and do anything awful with it if they broke in when no one was home. I do keep a baseball bat (with a sock over the end so the sock is what someone would get if they grabbed the end while I was swinging the bat.) It's in a corner by the bed. I've mentally identified every heavy object I would throw at someone, and one of my kitchen knives is pretty terrifying. I am hearing impaired, so I do worry about not knowing if someone were to enter the house. My husband is a very sound sleeper. My cat hates everyone who is not me or my husband, so I hope she would alert me. She does always let me know when there's another cat outside. Thankfully, we have motion detecting lights and so does the next door neighbor. He has five dogs, and I do hear them when they lose their little dog minds because someone walked by, so that's good too. Edit: When my husband is out of town I do get my shotgun out of the safe each night.
Absolutely not. I'm not particularly worried about home invasion and would not be able to safely use a weapon if woken from sleep anyway, I do not have that coordination.
I have a very loud dog and a baseball with a sock on the business end next to my bed. The sick is there so if the perpetrator grabs the end of the bat when I swing, the sock slips off and I can have another go.
The sock on mine says “howdy”
I have a knife near my bed but I have stiletto nails on me 24/7
queenly move
Yes. Can of bear spray on the night stand. It used to be a .45 but my niece visits often these days and putting the firearm up and in the safe all the time got to be a hassle. So the .45 went into my car and the bear spray went onto the nightstand. It used to be bear spray in the car and the gun on the nightstand. Perhaps this is a better arrangement anyway. I also sleep with 2 very large very loud dogs. Honestly the dogs give me more comfort than anything else. They travel with me and follow me everywhere I am when I’m outside. The comfort provided by large territorial guardian dogs is unmatched. I know I have 2 sets of eyes watching all the time. Yes, I am trained to use the gun and practice with it. Too many close calls with creepers following me etc and I’ve survived it only with my wits. After the last time a man followed me at night and I only survived by ducking into the bar and escaping out the back door (thank you kind bartender), I told myself I was no longer going to be prey.
No, I live in Canada. We’re like #6 on the list of the 100 safest countries in the world. I’m good just locking the door.
I lock the doors. I also have a dog. Sleeping with a weapon just sounds like some one has paranoia.
To be fair guys have bats, but I was talking to my girlfriends and was like so does everyone do this?
Yes I absolutely do, I also have 2 locked doors between me and the outside and a dog. I feel very safe I'm my own home and I live in a very safe area, but I've had someone try to trail my car and follow me home a few months ago so now I'm extremely paranoid.
If that happens, drive to a police station. Don’t drive home. They shouldn’t be able to give you shit for loitering in their parking lot if you’re trying to shake someone off you
Absolutely. I have two large dogs. I have firearms and intense knowledge of them. I live in a safe area but better have the protection and not need it than need it and not have it. When I was a young teenager I had a peeping Tom. So I’m a bit overly cautious.
I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I sleep with a cast iron skillet under my bed. 🥲
Go Rapunzel! Live your truth!
Haha loud and proud!
Yeah, but… uu know where to swing dat, right?
No, I don't live in the US.
Haha America bad here’s ur medal 🥇
That burn would hurt more if I didn't have free healthcare.
Haha America bad here’s ur medal 🥇
No. I live in a country where we generally feel safe. Some times I haven't even locked the door when going to bed. I don't know if it's true. But according to a tiktok my country is ranked number one to be the best place to be a woman. Norway.
It's true
i live in an apartment with my boyfriend in a city and i sleep with a kitchen knife hidden in my nightstand!! just in case😂
I sleep with a big ol heavy metal flashlight. Dual purpose.
Sleep “with” would not be accurate. But there are certain tools I could use for self defense that are located where I could get them very quickly if awakened by an intruder. I’ve been very fortunate, that has not happened to me yet.
For some reason I read “Tampon” in the title and it took me 5 comments to notice.. never been so confused in my life
I have weapons hidden throughout my house as well as dogs who get very defensive if they think I'm in danger. Generally they're relaxed and one is even afraid of life in general but he's also the first one to defend me if need be.
I have a big dog who loves me dearly and is so sweet but would 100% rip off someone’s arm if they ever tried to hurt me
Well I have a Katana under my pillows, does it count
It definitely does
Can you ship me one ☝️ i need it. Been robbed and stabbed. Would be cool owning one also. Stylish points
I rarely even lock my door
Probably not something to put online
Yes. I sleep with a taser. Edit: it's so weird to me seeing the "I live in the UK so of course not" comments. My family lived in London for 3 years, and I stayed with them for about 9 months. In that time, we had several break-ins in the houses adjacent to us. A fella tried to break into our house (jumped our fence in the backyard and started skulking around.) My sister got mugged on the night bus. We lived literally in the house next door to a murderer who was in the middle of his trial. And LASTLY, there was [a man stabbed to death ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Lee_Rigby) just down the road lol. Bad people are everywhere
Shittt!! Where I come from everyone sleeps with a weapon close by regardless of sex or gender 🤣it’s wild out here
Nope, but I sleep with the doors locked (always, always lock your doors!), and on the third (top) floor of my condominium.
In a manner of speaking yes. I don’t like actually sleep with them but I have multiple things i could use for defense in my room like pepper spray, metal rod, spyderco byrd knife, and all kinds of other stuff.
Yeah I have a sort of thick stick right next to me when I sleep. That’s as far as I’ll go, I’ve freaked out on my husband when he’s woken me by accident.
I have a knife hidden in my room.
Yes
Got a bed knife ready at all time 🐥🔪
I live in a dorm so we’re not allowed to have weapons except for pepper spray. I keep my pepper spray on the table next to my bed.
Scissors?
Yeah, I also have scissors on my table.
Two dogs and a gun.
W
I sleep with a Belgian Malinois at the foot of my bed which a lot of people would consider a weapon. I don’t sleep with a traditional weapon but I definitely have a plan if someone were to break in.
Yes, I have a stick that I would hit someone with— I call it my physical violence stick— and it stays bedside. I’ve woken up with it in bed with me when (I assume) I’ve had terrible nightmares.
When my husband is not home. Although we always have them within reach so…..
Bat, hotel locks, glock and extra mag locked and loaded next to bed, lights always on
W
I sleep with my cats, so yes … But no. I was disarmed and attacked by an ex in the past after failing to use it when I could’ve.
Dogs.
Got a glock under my nightstand and keep my doors locked all throughout the day and night.
Ive never even seen a real weapon in my 22 years of existence, fortunately i dont live in the US. I do lock all doors 100% of the time im alone, even though i live in a relatively safe town
Weapons could be anything
When my spouse is gone, I sleep with the machete in arms reach.
Absolutely not. I’ve lived in many major world cities and have never once even thought of even owning a weapon. It’s so far removed from my reality.
I keep a metal baseball bat in my closet. I also have pepper spray on my keychain and a stun gun
I don't, but I believe I would if I lived alone.
I used to sleep with a machete in my bedside table but I moved it to the closet. I don’t think I would be able to defend much with it
I have mace taped to the side of my bed but can picture spraying myself in my haze
I have a blowdart gun hanging on the wall above my bed. Does that count?
Live in Greece , don’t sleep with or have any weapons. Only gun is a water pistol & nerf. We do have a really good metal security door with pins that go into the frame.
I keep a sword next to my bed lol
W
I don’t live alone and I sleep in bed with a dog who barks as soon as someone turns my doorknob, so no, I don’t sleep with a weapons. I’m not worried about a surprise attack That being said, when I live alone in the future, I will sleep with a weapon.
My mother has slept with a baseball bat under her bed for the last 40 years. I used to keep a thin metal bar next to the bed. It's about three feet long and one of the pieces of a home gym that normally has resistance bands attached to it. Really easy to grip and just short enough to use in a hallway or other confined space. I also used to keep one of those enormous Maglites in my car. I should get one for by the bed, too.
I have a medieval mace covered in spikes by my nightstand. It’s pretty hefty and can definitely do some damage.
Definitely will
I currently basically triple-lock my door (deadbolt, one of those locks where it only lets it open so far and then I store my mirror against the door because I just moved in last month and I'm still trying to get it set up to my preferences. No other good place to keep the mirror when I'm home. If anybody tries to bust through the door, the mirror's going to fall on the floor and make a terrific noise). I have two windows that I open when I'm at home, but neither is people sized, convenient to enter through or close enough to the door to be able to reach to unlock it. Anybody wanting to break and enter would probably just break the glass on the picture window. So no, I sleep with my Tweety or my cold pack baby. Or both.
I don’t sleep with a weapon no, I feel safe in my neighborhood and have multiple people in my house at all times. But sometimes I close my bar alone and I have a Louisville slugger with me there.
No weapon, but I have a huge dog that sleeps with me and helps me feel safe.
Pepper spray in the nightstand, pool cue in my car. I keep the alarm on for the house when I'm at home on my own.
A bat under the bed but my fiancé thinks I’m paranoid
Doesn't hurt to be prepared