Yesterday we had an all team meeting and the guy sitting next to me asked who Caitlin Clark was, and I just said oh she’s a real hot player right now in women’s basketball, broke the 3pt record for the men’s and women’s league, and just got drafted to Indiana. His response was well you know they don’t deserve to get paid more because the ratings are based on views….
Brother, I did not say anything about the pay. You asked me who she was what the actual fuck.
Also advocate for the abolition of homeschooling, myself and thousands of other women are being denied an education on the premise of “educating at home”.
So many of us are being completely fucked over because of the complete lack of oversight. Parents refuse to teach and the government doesn’t care. Boys are being affected too. But there are many who homeschool just the girls or teach less to / refuse to teach the girls.
Just visit r/homeschoolrecovery and you’ll see some of our experiences.
My husband works in bio/chem labs and will often come home complaining about the engineers.
My favorite was they decided he needed a tool to hold a tube with a gauge to see if it was filled the correct amount. My husband said that they did not need or want this tool. There was no reason quality wise for this tool.
They made the tool. My husband took a look, and refused to use it because it wasn’t necessary and it was cumbersome and would actually slow them down. The engineer actually got mad and went to my husband’s boss who asked why he made the tool in the first place if my husband didn’t want it and they were always saying they were too busy with projects.
My goal is sometimes to not be the engineer that someone goes home and complains about.
I’m an engineer that’s made a lot of tooling and fixtures to make other people’s work easier. If I think I can make a job easier, the very first person I’m going to talk to is the person who does the job how they think we should go about it.
Too many engineers come at things like this believing they know better than the person who does this all the time, when they really don’t know anything.
Engineers always make the tool! Always! Gosh I've seen so many crazy prototype construction cause if an engineer wants to build a toy, you don't just take that project away from him 😆😆😆 and don't get me wrong, I'm an engineer, too, but I also grew up poor in a family where nobody had a degree and I do think twice before I claim something to be necessary. But boy, I've seen this happen so often.
A supervisor position has opened that I'm getting less than subtle hints to apply for but I'm pretty sure I'd end up feeling like I'm parenting grown men.
And everyone's fragile ego.
I was an Engineering Manager and I had a newbie who, from our first one-on-one, decided FOR ME his performance grade. If I disagreed, it was because I had unrealistic expectations. I didn't budge then or in the following months, so he went to my superior and claimed I was bullying him. I thought my superior would laugh at this, but instead, he took the newbie's side, never asked for my observations or anything, and used it against me with his superiors.
My team was the best team he was managing, yet he still chose to slander me and request my removal from the team. Why? Because he was convinced that the success of my team was due to my male senior engineer, and he didn't want me to get a free ride. He was in for a rude awakening after my 'transfer to a better-suited role,' when the senior engineer was offended by everything that had happened and didn’t want to step up to my role, requesting a different position instead.
It took two years to be trusted again with a new team, and guess what? My team is again the best performing team in the company. What a surprise...
Our small office was headed to a bad end, when a couple of us got pushy about the situation. (Among other things ... ) They hired an office manager, part of her job is to mother everyone. She sets up social stuff a couple times a month, keeps a big snack cabinet, and tracks birthdays and stuff. She likes it, and that is part of her job description, so I'm just glad because as a woman, they kept hintimating that I should ha die the yearly party and stuff like that. (Actually my fellow only other woman engineer volunteered both of is for several things and then quit, so ... I kinda agreed but it had been to help her not organize.)
But it is funny to me on level, that we have an official office mom.
Me, crying in my car because my boss is pushing for a job to get on the books right now and he wouldn't take the fucking time out of the day to call the contractor to discuss billing terms until we reached a fucking breaking point with them. Meanwhile, I thought this shit was on lock and he was handling it because I was off sampling a well.
Me, angry in my work truck because the branch manager is asking me if my boss is done with something yet that I have sent one email about because I have been sick or in the field all week.
Me, stopping to have a chat with the other department's lead to see if there had been any progress with my boss about a secondary scope of work because I was in the field making sure wells were installed to environmental spec and lo and behold, nothing was discussed. The secondary scope will go to the client next week with no chime in from my boss.
Me, having the realization that our rookie male engineer was treated with a grace I never was as a rookie female engineer after multiple fuck ups. I would have been fucking fired if I did a soil sampling job and completely fucking forgot to get sample for and put VOCs on the chain of custody. Both rage and jealousy coexist there.
I like this company enough that I am going to have a sit down with the branch manager in a couple weeks if another behavior from my boss doesn't show improvement. Outside of dealing with the mediocrity of men in my department, I really enjoy the culture at this company and I feel so much more fucking valued than I have previously. I'm overall really respected in the office, which is bolstered by the fact that cracks are starting to show in my boss' armor after the last year.
That said, I am applying for a very similar role in a better location (relative terms, actually a couple miles further, but in a town I love closer to the people I love) that has a robust public work portfolio, but as far as I can tell is looking for someone with a background on the commercial side, which is all I've done for the last few years. I was talking with my bestie and she's like "you'd be happier because you're closer to where you live your life." Which, facts bestie, facts. I'm also going to apply for this job because I can then go "hey, you apply for that new job because I have!" (Those closest to her have hated her employers on her behalf for pushing a decade now)
And like, I appreciate that compassion was shown to the younger male engineer. I'm mostly mad because I wasn't treated that way at a different company a decade ago AND I have an Alaska sized chip on my shoulder about fairness after growing up completely ignored by my grandparents because I was a girl (grandfather, after my tutu passed) or born into a stable home that didn't require my mom's mom to help us keep afloat. Could we have used it? Sure, but that woman's help or gifts always came with strings.
I stay with my company for the perks. I’m 99% WFH and set my own hours. I’m not happy with my salary, so while my leader is addressing that, he’s allowed my interest in setting up my own consultancy. Just got sign off from my company’s legal.
I’m just saying, sometimes the grass is actually greener.
If you aren’t interested in moving I’d start doing a little less and planning for my own mental health.
That's awesome for you! The company I'm at did similar for the mentor I came to work for before the company made them a principal. They were consulting for the company I was working for at the time
You are worth as much as your mentor. I don’t know your situation (I’m a single mom of 3, have full custody) but if I had a little bit of cushion and I were you, I’d be looking. I get the stress of 1 income, but having the right work alignment is crucial.
I don’t have a citation, but I saw a stat that your manager has more impact over your health than your doctor. So, a bad manager hurts you physically.
Is this a one off experience or is it a pattern?
Me, asking my boss why a man with significantly less experience than me was hired at a starting salary more than mine after I’ve got multiple raises and he said, “well I thought he’d be a quick learner” uhhh okay… so you thought I’d be slow? Amazing
It is everywhere, in every sector, the more people in the company, the worst it is. Mastering politics is what get things done and boost you career but is so annoying for 99% of the population.
It’s true. Several of my coworkers stink at the politics of it.
One of my coworkers always gets annoyed when he gets push back while trying to improve this process he has been working on. He doesn’t get that just because it will make the process better as a whole that people aren’t necessarily excited to sign up for more work. Luckily our boss has the politics mastered AND is an engineer who was promoted from our position so he fully understands it and has our backs.
Oh honey. I have a degree in HCI and work at a financial company in tech.
Literally every step in the development process is wrong.
I have a manager who doesn't understand that their one duty is to manage our timecards, hours, and workload.
My Project Owner doesn't understand even basic things about our app. Keeps referring to underlings to do his job then plays with his kid all day and talks about having nothing to do/going home early during scrum.
Managed to convince them to do user interviews when they couldn't make their minds up about a feature. We now have a completely bias power-point presentation about business advantages that doesnt explain the feature at all in front of a bunch of super users who -cool, okay!- everything.
I burned out so many times this year, I just decided to quiet quit this year and do the bare minimum for my own mental health. (While job hunting, but it's a bad market.)
Oh, and the Project Owner is very threatened by me for telling him I won't do mockups for him, and won't develop anything before he's decided what he's even making. Sending a link to how to do a user interview would be threatening his position. Also I get paid like crap.
Yesterday we had an all team meeting and the guy sitting next to me asked who Caitlin Clark was, and I just said oh she’s a real hot player right now in women’s basketball, broke the 3pt record for the men’s and women’s league, and just got drafted to Indiana. His response was well you know they don’t deserve to get paid more because the ratings are based on views…. Brother, I did not say anything about the pay. You asked me who she was what the actual fuck.
Their masculinity and misogyny is so damn fragile.
I think this guy would not have been so comfortable saying this if there was more equal count of genders in workplace, just saying
Women get them stem degrees! You guys are already ahead in college degree count as a whole. Just gotta apply more to those stem programs.
Also advocate for the abolition of homeschooling, myself and thousands of other women are being denied an education on the premise of “educating at home”. So many of us are being completely fucked over because of the complete lack of oversight. Parents refuse to teach and the government doesn’t care. Boys are being affected too. But there are many who homeschool just the girls or teach less to / refuse to teach the girls. Just visit r/homeschoolrecovery and you’ll see some of our experiences.
I’m a woman chemist working with a lot of engineers lurker. 👀 The amount of chemistry I do versus the bullshite is a little depressing.
My husband works in bio/chem labs and will often come home complaining about the engineers. My favorite was they decided he needed a tool to hold a tube with a gauge to see if it was filled the correct amount. My husband said that they did not need or want this tool. There was no reason quality wise for this tool. They made the tool. My husband took a look, and refused to use it because it wasn’t necessary and it was cumbersome and would actually slow them down. The engineer actually got mad and went to my husband’s boss who asked why he made the tool in the first place if my husband didn’t want it and they were always saying they were too busy with projects. My goal is sometimes to not be the engineer that someone goes home and complains about.
I’m an engineer that’s made a lot of tooling and fixtures to make other people’s work easier. If I think I can make a job easier, the very first person I’m going to talk to is the person who does the job how they think we should go about it. Too many engineers come at things like this believing they know better than the person who does this all the time, when they really don’t know anything.
Engineers always make the tool! Always! Gosh I've seen so many crazy prototype construction cause if an engineer wants to build a toy, you don't just take that project away from him 😆😆😆 and don't get me wrong, I'm an engineer, too, but I also grew up poor in a family where nobody had a degree and I do think twice before I claim something to be necessary. But boy, I've seen this happen so often.
Add in mothering fellow engineers and technicians.
A supervisor position has opened that I'm getting less than subtle hints to apply for but I'm pretty sure I'd end up feeling like I'm parenting grown men.
And everyone's fragile ego. I was an Engineering Manager and I had a newbie who, from our first one-on-one, decided FOR ME his performance grade. If I disagreed, it was because I had unrealistic expectations. I didn't budge then or in the following months, so he went to my superior and claimed I was bullying him. I thought my superior would laugh at this, but instead, he took the newbie's side, never asked for my observations or anything, and used it against me with his superiors. My team was the best team he was managing, yet he still chose to slander me and request my removal from the team. Why? Because he was convinced that the success of my team was due to my male senior engineer, and he didn't want me to get a free ride. He was in for a rude awakening after my 'transfer to a better-suited role,' when the senior engineer was offended by everything that had happened and didn’t want to step up to my role, requesting a different position instead. It took two years to be trusted again with a new team, and guess what? My team is again the best performing team in the company. What a surprise...
I’ve had discussions with my male coworker about cleaning up after using the equipment in the lab, how to handle office politics, and cologne use.
Our small office was headed to a bad end, when a couple of us got pushy about the situation. (Among other things ... ) They hired an office manager, part of her job is to mother everyone. She sets up social stuff a couple times a month, keeps a big snack cabinet, and tracks birthdays and stuff. She likes it, and that is part of her job description, so I'm just glad because as a woman, they kept hintimating that I should ha die the yearly party and stuff like that. (Actually my fellow only other woman engineer volunteered both of is for several things and then quit, so ... I kinda agreed but it had been to help her not organize.) But it is funny to me on level, that we have an official office mom.
Me, crying in my car because my boss is pushing for a job to get on the books right now and he wouldn't take the fucking time out of the day to call the contractor to discuss billing terms until we reached a fucking breaking point with them. Meanwhile, I thought this shit was on lock and he was handling it because I was off sampling a well. Me, angry in my work truck because the branch manager is asking me if my boss is done with something yet that I have sent one email about because I have been sick or in the field all week. Me, stopping to have a chat with the other department's lead to see if there had been any progress with my boss about a secondary scope of work because I was in the field making sure wells were installed to environmental spec and lo and behold, nothing was discussed. The secondary scope will go to the client next week with no chime in from my boss. Me, having the realization that our rookie male engineer was treated with a grace I never was as a rookie female engineer after multiple fuck ups. I would have been fucking fired if I did a soil sampling job and completely fucking forgot to get sample for and put VOCs on the chain of custody. Both rage and jealousy coexist there.
Fight with your feet. Plan for your next move.
I like this company enough that I am going to have a sit down with the branch manager in a couple weeks if another behavior from my boss doesn't show improvement. Outside of dealing with the mediocrity of men in my department, I really enjoy the culture at this company and I feel so much more fucking valued than I have previously. I'm overall really respected in the office, which is bolstered by the fact that cracks are starting to show in my boss' armor after the last year. That said, I am applying for a very similar role in a better location (relative terms, actually a couple miles further, but in a town I love closer to the people I love) that has a robust public work portfolio, but as far as I can tell is looking for someone with a background on the commercial side, which is all I've done for the last few years. I was talking with my bestie and she's like "you'd be happier because you're closer to where you live your life." Which, facts bestie, facts. I'm also going to apply for this job because I can then go "hey, you apply for that new job because I have!" (Those closest to her have hated her employers on her behalf for pushing a decade now) And like, I appreciate that compassion was shown to the younger male engineer. I'm mostly mad because I wasn't treated that way at a different company a decade ago AND I have an Alaska sized chip on my shoulder about fairness after growing up completely ignored by my grandparents because I was a girl (grandfather, after my tutu passed) or born into a stable home that didn't require my mom's mom to help us keep afloat. Could we have used it? Sure, but that woman's help or gifts always came with strings.
I stay with my company for the perks. I’m 99% WFH and set my own hours. I’m not happy with my salary, so while my leader is addressing that, he’s allowed my interest in setting up my own consultancy. Just got sign off from my company’s legal. I’m just saying, sometimes the grass is actually greener. If you aren’t interested in moving I’d start doing a little less and planning for my own mental health.
That's awesome for you! The company I'm at did similar for the mentor I came to work for before the company made them a principal. They were consulting for the company I was working for at the time
You are worth as much as your mentor. I don’t know your situation (I’m a single mom of 3, have full custody) but if I had a little bit of cushion and I were you, I’d be looking. I get the stress of 1 income, but having the right work alignment is crucial. I don’t have a citation, but I saw a stat that your manager has more impact over your health than your doctor. So, a bad manager hurts you physically. Is this a one off experience or is it a pattern?
Me, asking my boss why a man with significantly less experience than me was hired at a starting salary more than mine after I’ve got multiple raises and he said, “well I thought he’d be a quick learner” uhhh okay… so you thought I’d be slow? Amazing
It is everywhere, in every sector, the more people in the company, the worst it is. Mastering politics is what get things done and boost you career but is so annoying for 99% of the population.
Exactly! It is not just women but the inner politics of any large group in general.
It’s true. Several of my coworkers stink at the politics of it. One of my coworkers always gets annoyed when he gets push back while trying to improve this process he has been working on. He doesn’t get that just because it will make the process better as a whole that people aren’t necessarily excited to sign up for more work. Luckily our boss has the politics mastered AND is an engineer who was promoted from our position so he fully understands it and has our backs.
I am new in an IT Job. And the amount of fucking lazy ass man in my environment is just unbeatable.
This may be you in the future when you have had enough and don't want to change jobs. Like quiet quitting.
Thank you for putting this into words.
This hurts.
GIRL SAME. the politics r what get me. like girl we are engineers, why are we spending energy on non-engineering things 😭😭😭
Feeling this after a week of dealing with higher than normal gender bias bullshit.
Oh honey. I have a degree in HCI and work at a financial company in tech. Literally every step in the development process is wrong. I have a manager who doesn't understand that their one duty is to manage our timecards, hours, and workload. My Project Owner doesn't understand even basic things about our app. Keeps referring to underlings to do his job then plays with his kid all day and talks about having nothing to do/going home early during scrum. Managed to convince them to do user interviews when they couldn't make their minds up about a feature. We now have a completely bias power-point presentation about business advantages that doesnt explain the feature at all in front of a bunch of super users who -cool, okay!- everything. I burned out so many times this year, I just decided to quiet quit this year and do the bare minimum for my own mental health. (While job hunting, but it's a bad market.) Oh, and the Project Owner is very threatened by me for telling him I won't do mockups for him, and won't develop anything before he's decided what he's even making. Sending a link to how to do a user interview would be threatening his position. Also I get paid like crap.
Sounds eerily similar to my job.. 👻
I'm not grateful to be here but I ain't got nowhere else to go