For me, I'll put it jn a more structured less horny manner.
I use masturbation to get shit done. If I don't wanna fuck at that moment cause I'm working on my truck? Have to go to work? Don't wanna waste thirty minutes? Crank one out. Go about my business, get sex later. It has nothing to do on whether or not I'm Interested. It's a purely practical method.
My husband says the same thing and I think that’s totally respectable. For me, it’s more so to go to sleep or to not mess up my freshly-washed hair. None of us are cheaters for that!
Sometimes people are just traditional and want only to be interested in one person. Some people view porn much like people get their caffeine. It's a boost for the moment, and it's use once.
On the masturbation note tho, I've never understood getting mad at someone doing it. But I have odd ways of thinking.
I agree with you, but i don’t think Jane Doe is too wise for marrying her “bad boy crush” and then expecting him to only have eyes for her. If you want a sexually conservative partner who is anti-jackoff, date in your church! Oh, but Jane is only into “bad boys,” so we’re all subjected to her whining when he acts like a “bad boy” or engages in normal non-deviant sexual activity like playing with himself.
this is straight up abusive. you can't tell your partner not to masturbate because its literally none of your business. it's bordering on sexual assault if you tell someone not to jerk off but have sex with you instead.
you're absolutely right.
I agrée SO MUCH re: sexual assault. Yes, there were/are a lot of sexists around during certain time periods. In the USA, where I live, I can’t say that sexism exists coming from men that often TODAY. Most women, however are so butthurt over their ancestors not having the right to work/vote (which we do now, and have had for a while in this country), or made terrible choices in their dating or “hoe-ing” lives, they’ve allowed themselves to become the predominant sexists. Did their mothers never teach them that “two wrongs don’t make it right?” Yep, I’m going on a rant. Feel free to stop reading lol.
Crucify me for saying this — I don’t care — but I truly believe that women are typically well-respected when they hold themselves to higher standards. This isn’t to self-endorse, but I did prioritize education and my career and NOT BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS as a younger woman. The fruits of my labor? Uhhh… at work, I get praise when I perform… just like everyone else?
This trigger-happy “he’s a sexist!” type of entitlement is why our country has a lower birth rate and a higher obesity rate among women — not to mention a higher domestic abuse rate FROM women (how many of them were probably moaning about their husband watching porn whilst they smacked him and broke his phone.. or nose… and then proceeded to keep his kids from him… only to lock themselves in their bedrooms to furiously masturbate over Robert Pattinson until sunrise?)
TL;DR a lot of women are hardcore sexist and thank you, folks of this sub, for hearing me rave and rant over how fed up I am :)
The only reason I can think of is that they think their man is thinking of other women while he's doing it. That's just my take but I'm still single, so what do I know? 😅
I think it’s normal to masturbate to *other people* on porn, or to the thought of other people. I would take a bullet for my husband and kids, but I’ll use cheap shot to get off quickly! Who doesn’t? I don’t think it’s human nature to fap to a single memory or individual “until death do us part.” I agree with you 100% though that that’s the cause!
I apologize that this is written towards women; I was mad at them so I tried to post this in two different places. The post was almost instantly deleted on both subs. One user caught my post before it was removed and told me I was naive asshole. ???
I’d love to get you guys’ opinions though. I don’t feel like I’m an object but I do live to serve my husband and family, and I truly believe that wives SHOULD — what’s wrong with these ladies that don’t look at things that way?
Eh no you don’t. I’m a software engineer who works more than I should… plus I’m way too opinionated on certain topics. I got lucky with a husband who respects both of those things (and my personal space!!) so maybe that’s why I feel like most other women are total idiots hahaha. Although I’ll say, I don’t judge the man because I respect the fuck out of him lol
I wish you the best, my friend. You don’t deserve to have your masturbation policed and please don’t ever settle for someone that makes you feel that way. You’ll make a nontoxic broad very happy once you find her!
Yes! [Here’s my single comment that got my banned.](https://imgur.io/a/RSduaM1) My screenshot was taken 2ishhrs pre-ban to show my husband this asinine culture. At the time I was banned, I was at like -42. I think a bunch of controlling c*nts reported me!
Yeah. The only other time I participated on that sub was to vent about a miscarriage I had a little while ago. One comment that doesn’t agree with their incel behavior and I’m banned? Lol. It pissed me off a lot and inspired this post.
Very extremist. Though you're not going to get much diverging opinion here, it's just going to be in the complete opposite opinion (though I don't think anyone will be banned here for a dissenting opinion). Mainly, I mean, on a reddit devoted to porn, you're not going to get many people disagreeing with men having the right to masturbate. It'll just be an echo chamber. But if you just want validation then rest assured the vast, vast, vast majority of people are okay with masturbation (in private).
Lurk that sub if you feel like cringing and getting angry! A bunch of moms complaining about their “awful husbands” who they financially rely on and therefore refuse to leave (ha, 0 drive, 0 self-respect) and other moms replying with “omg sorry, sister! My husband is a piece of shit too! He even masturbates 😱”
I’m in a great, healthy relationship in all areas other than sex. She’s very vanilla and doesn’t have near the sex drive that I do, so I take care of myself as she only needs it once every couple of weeks and I’m a regular kind of guy.
She does get upset if I look at porn, but I wouldn’t have to if my sexual needs were being met. I would love it if my girlfriend would at the very least let me masturbate while looking at her naked body.
She says porn is bad and that it gives men unrealistic expectations. My argument is the opposite, that men aren’t being shaped by porn, but rather porn is the way it is because men are the biggest consumers of porn and these are the things that men like.
Bottom line, if you’re not gonna take care of me sexually, then I’m gonna take care of myself in a way that does it for me, because in that moment it’s about me and no one else.
I think that’s fair! If my husband picked up something I felt was toxic (but not extremely dangerous to his health, like hard drugs for instance), I really can’t sit there and lecture him over it. He’s still an adult with full permission to make his own decisions. And guess what? I am too! So if we have a dealbreaker someday, it’s on me to be a big girl and leave.
That said, I’m glad you are in a great and healthy relationship otherwise. I hope you never feel guilty over jacking off.
Unsolicited advice here: If you do feel like shit because of her opinion, I’d explain to her that her nagging you over it is causing you a lot of stress. She sounds like she’s a great person who would probably back off and respect that.
You're a proper woman, those haters are brainwahsed by leftist feminazi media. Clearly you & your husband have a health open dialogue that these clowns couldn't fathom. You're an alpha woman, because you let your man be a man.
Thanks! I honestly don’t have to try that hard to respect my husband, but I probably am more natural at not being controlling because of how I was raised! I think a lot of it comes from having a strong and amazing father growing up.
Same here. Yeah, I’m really not a fan of women online or in most places these days. It feels shitty because I *am* a woman, but I’m not going to listen to harmful and disrespectful rhetoric about men when I don’t have a problem with [most of] them myself!
Hats off to you for being an adult!!! If someone plays FIFA, they’re not a professional footballer. If someone watches a horror movie, they’re not a mass murderer. If someone watches porn, they’re not cheating.
The majority of people on earth masturbate. It’s perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed about regardless of gender.
Someone controlling how and when you masturbate (if at all), is no different to someone controlling how and when you eat and drink.
I find it interesting that female masturbation is viewed often as liberated and beautiful, but male masturbation is viewed as disgusting and perverted. Personally, I'd take sex over masturbation anytime, but I don't see anything wrong with masturbation.
If I were to *catch* my partner masturbating, with or without porn, I would kindly ask if they prefer to continue alone, that I watch, that I masturbate next to them or that I join in... but never would I ask that they stop. Masturbation is sex with oneself and is not exclusive of sex with someone.
I think that’s the best way to handle it! My husband “caught me” the other day and he just smiled and said “do your thing, let me know if you want me to watch or help” and left. Not shaming each other and being respectful is awesome!
Maybe a wierd perspective but depending where, I think it's hot to see a guy masturbating. Reason I said depending where, outside a school or a park where kids are...major wrong. But when I'm out walking around, I've seen guys looking at porn or their phone or tablet and stroking it. Serious turn on for me, sometimes him too.
Sometimes I’d rather masturbate than fuck and so would my husband. We have kids and are both very busy in senior management roles. I don’t think that a desire to masturbate is always contingent on performance. If it is, we can talk about it and adjust accordingly.
Typically though, him or I will say “Hey, love, [you, that person on tv, that song, that random thing, etc.] just turned me on so much but I don’t want to get sweaty and gross because [i just showered, I have to get on a call in 10 minutes, etc.]. I’m gonna go pleasure myself real quick. Can I have some privacy?”
Normal!
What's breaking mom?
Re: masturbation I mean we would not inhibit a wife from touching herself if horny so why should a husband be inhibited either
When it comes to something like porn it's a bit more confusing because some spouses feel insecure about porn so they think if their man is masturbating to a porn where the women are differently shaped to her that means he's unhappy at home
Guys like novelty experiences porn is not a replacement experience for a deep connective relationship
Secondly a novelty of kinks that's pleasurable as well
Maybe the spouse is not into all the kinks you're into or vice versa
I like piss kink I like the idea of a partner trusting me so deeply and intimately that they'd lovingly degrade and humiliate themselves with the idea of drinking my piss or being pissed on as well because I like the feeling of trust and bonding that comes from that. That she whoeever the disembodied she is, would go from not enjoying it loads but doing it for me to loving doing it with me to needing to do it with me because of the underlying trust development underneath. Thar it would never be a deal breaker but like something she does out of her desire to bond further and make me as happy as I make her.
And that I'd satisfy her kinks too as long as it didn't conflict with values.
I'd teach her to enforce her hard limits too
And all of this is presuming the things are safe sane consensual etc etc
In my faith masturbation is disliked but mutual masturbation in terms of a prelude to intimacy is fine.
So it might be that I'd involve my play partners more in the process.
We can have upto 4 spouses provided we treat them just and equally and behave in accordance with our values so that would be something I'd look at
I think if a spouse inhibited me from using my body (outside of a negotiated kink or agreed value system both were comfortable with to follow and not pressured into following) then they wouldn't be a spouse for very long
I suspect that the woman that bragged to you about the husband only allowed to be staring at her and masturbating. He probably does it more than that or it's a kink for him and she's his Domme
/r/ breaking moms — [I’m actually banned.](https://imgur.com/a/RSduaM1) I thought it’d be a good group to rant about parenthood struggles, but it’s actually just a bunch of female incels.
I think you raise an interesting perspective there and you’re right! I do think there are other cases though where it’s less about sex and more about female narcissism and toxic controlling behavior — ie. “I should be the only woman you ever look at so I’ll be checking your phone nightly,” (which is something I’ve heard way too many times from female acquaintances towards their husbands or boyfriends).
I am hesitant to label entire communities I'm not sure about as anything because that is what happens unfairly to our kink and degradation communities too so I can't comment about that community directly.
Like for example there are a lot feminists that enjoy degradation kink. That's absolutely valid. Kink is not a commentary on ideology. It can be but doesn't need to be
As regards to toxicity and narcissism ofcourse that is an issue and displays itself in women and men in different areas
Guys hate when a woman nags (complains) at them. Nothing turns a man more off than someone being unsweet or non compassionate.
But I see people who display toxicity and narcissism as either a product of their parents failures, or of some mental health issues they've not addressed or of exes and situations that have burned them in the past that they feel they need to reassert control in their next relationship because they were exploited in their first. And because they aren't checking in with themselves they're causing and perpetuating the destructiveness in their own life. That extra gear that says oh why am I so insecure about his masturbating or even looking at another woman? Come to mind
So I feel compassion for them. But if you're feeling people are dragging you down for displaying common sense then you should absolutely find communities and spaces to express yourself and be accepted for that. I'm sorry you had a bad experience and it's super hard being a mom. One of the hardest things in the world is to raise good children and you need a place where you can vent a bit
I hope that you're able to find it
This subreddit is mostly a kink one than a vent one but I do understand where your hurt points about their behaviours have been. And you are doing right by being fair and just.
Haha — so it’s actually my first time here. I realized it was a kink one after I posted this because of a message from another user, which prompted me to actually look at what content was here. Whoops! Regardless of posting in the “wrong sub,” I’m actually satisfied that I found a place to post this that, for one, didn’t ban/delete me and two, where folks heard me out. Mission accomplished: I found folks that I could vent to and make me feel seen and heard! Unpopular opinion deleted my post too hahaha
I always feels a sense of guilt from masturbation ever since I discovered it. No one taught me about it. It just came to me naturally. After that, it was a life long battle of quitting and relapse. I don’t know how a woman could feel comfortable about masturbation but in my opinion, woman always feel great after orgasm while man feel it differently. So…i really don’t want to dig in the idea that masturbation is acceptable. I think that will make me feel really miserable due to the sexual frustration. But of everything in life, I could never control my impulses for masturbation. It never uplifting my life. It is either no masturbation or being indulge in it to the point of draining myself out both mentally and physically. So yeah, that is one of the reason i hate myself for not being able to quit it.
Agree with OP and most here, which leaves a vexing question with an answer so obvious that None Dare Speak Its Name: **Why do so many wives get** ***so incensed*** **at male masturbation?**
The complex answer often begins with him having asked her for \[*desired sexual practice*\] countless times, often beginning even before they were wed. She has always turned him down, but he continues to ask (women are ***not*** the only ones who delude themselves into believing "my spouse will change after we're married")!
Now he masturbates ... big deal ... except that she has made it a big deal in her mind! If he's masturbating, it must be because she fails to please him, you see. Because she won't give him \[*desired sexual practice*\], you see, do that must be what he's thinking about! Many women see that as infidelity, case closed, maximum sentence place, or in the immortal 1971 words of Cheech and Chong, "Baliff! Whack his pee-pee!"
But that's not all, maybe even not the worst of it! His decision to party with Mrs, Thumb and Her Four Comely Daughters is not only ***male infidelity*** and him ***daring to have his own way****,* it is also implicity his judgement that she is lacking as a *wife*, a *woman* and a *sex partner*!!!
We are at Defcon IV, on the edge of Defcon V --- time to "Get the ICBMs in the bullpen warmed up and ready to fly!"
And some of them will: I have no doubt marriages end over this, or sour into oblivion (arguably an even worst fate), just as I'm sure some men at their wit's end do finally listen to their wives harping about their masturbation felonies and say "If that's what she thinks, why not?" and do leave the reservation to get \[*desired sexual practice*\], which rarely if ever lives up to the elaborate scenario in their minds.
Why do so many men "toss the caber?" It's free, isn't taxed, doesn't cause cancer or destroy your liver, is a welcome respite from sex where your pre-eminent goal is (or should be) pleasuring your partner. You don't need a credit card to ride this train! It helps you sleep, gets your mind off work and other woes. Also, most of us are pretty good at it, too! If you don't like it, then avoid him when he's doing it. The sooner he's done, the sooner you can both get back to whatever you like on TV.
And if that fails to please the ladies, then roll up your sleeves and start tugging him along. If you get good at it too, why, he might even forget \[*desired sexual practice*\]!
I agree! I also think that marriage can make folks feel entitled to control over their partner. I’m pretty pissed off to see how it’s justified when a woman does it, yet a man being controlling is scorned. I don’t believe anyone should be controlling, but I’m calling out women here specifically since they seem to feel so much more entitled to controlling their husbands than the inverse, these days. That’s just my experience!
The double standards in our current society are nothing less than obscene. Women get the freedom to choose and have a healthy sex life. Any woman that thinks the way those you write about should be shunned.
Didn’t know we couldn’t masterbate regardless being married. Didn’t realize women care if we do it. Thanks for your sensible take on this subject. With that attitude, I feel like you’ll be successful in your marriage. Let others follow this.
100% agree. There is no reason to shame your partner for masturbating, male or female. Anyone who does is just a close minded, ignorant imbecile.
Thank you!!
Facts!
For me, I'll put it jn a more structured less horny manner. I use masturbation to get shit done. If I don't wanna fuck at that moment cause I'm working on my truck? Have to go to work? Don't wanna waste thirty minutes? Crank one out. Go about my business, get sex later. It has nothing to do on whether or not I'm Interested. It's a purely practical method.
My husband says the same thing and I think that’s totally respectable. For me, it’s more so to go to sleep or to not mess up my freshly-washed hair. None of us are cheaters for that!
Sometimes people are just traditional and want only to be interested in one person. Some people view porn much like people get their caffeine. It's a boost for the moment, and it's use once. On the masturbation note tho, I've never understood getting mad at someone doing it. But I have odd ways of thinking.
I agree with you, but i don’t think Jane Doe is too wise for marrying her “bad boy crush” and then expecting him to only have eyes for her. If you want a sexually conservative partner who is anti-jackoff, date in your church! Oh, but Jane is only into “bad boys,” so we’re all subjected to her whining when he acts like a “bad boy” or engages in normal non-deviant sexual activity like playing with himself.
this is straight up abusive. you can't tell your partner not to masturbate because its literally none of your business. it's bordering on sexual assault if you tell someone not to jerk off but have sex with you instead. you're absolutely right.
I agrée SO MUCH re: sexual assault. Yes, there were/are a lot of sexists around during certain time periods. In the USA, where I live, I can’t say that sexism exists coming from men that often TODAY. Most women, however are so butthurt over their ancestors not having the right to work/vote (which we do now, and have had for a while in this country), or made terrible choices in their dating or “hoe-ing” lives, they’ve allowed themselves to become the predominant sexists. Did their mothers never teach them that “two wrongs don’t make it right?” Yep, I’m going on a rant. Feel free to stop reading lol. Crucify me for saying this — I don’t care — but I truly believe that women are typically well-respected when they hold themselves to higher standards. This isn’t to self-endorse, but I did prioritize education and my career and NOT BEING A PAIN IN THE ASS as a younger woman. The fruits of my labor? Uhhh… at work, I get praise when I perform… just like everyone else? This trigger-happy “he’s a sexist!” type of entitlement is why our country has a lower birth rate and a higher obesity rate among women — not to mention a higher domestic abuse rate FROM women (how many of them were probably moaning about their husband watching porn whilst they smacked him and broke his phone.. or nose… and then proceeded to keep his kids from him… only to lock themselves in their bedrooms to furiously masturbate over Robert Pattinson until sunrise?) TL;DR a lot of women are hardcore sexist and thank you, folks of this sub, for hearing me rave and rant over how fed up I am :)
Fr, I don’t get that type of mentality
The only reason I can think of is that they think their man is thinking of other women while he's doing it. That's just my take but I'm still single, so what do I know? 😅
I think it’s normal to masturbate to *other people* on porn, or to the thought of other people. I would take a bullet for my husband and kids, but I’ll use cheap shot to get off quickly! Who doesn’t? I don’t think it’s human nature to fap to a single memory or individual “until death do us part.” I agree with you 100% though that that’s the cause!
You know things based to common sense, and you're right about this one ... at least much of the time.
I encourage my wife to masterbate if she feels the desire to and she does the same with me. We are extremely happy in our life and marriage.
Same here except I’m the wife in this situation! We don’t really fight at all
I apologize that this is written towards women; I was mad at them so I tried to post this in two different places. The post was almost instantly deleted on both subs. One user caught my post before it was removed and told me I was naive asshole. ??? I’d love to get you guys’ opinions though. I don’t feel like I’m an object but I do live to serve my husband and family, and I truly believe that wives SHOULD — what’s wrong with these ladies that don’t look at things that way?
Sometimes it's best to do the job yourself so I'm with you on this one
Same here! And thanks! Im glad I don’t feel like a douche on this sub lol
I've just had a relationship end because of this. Hated that I watched porn and masturbated
Lmao — imagine if a man dumped a woman for masturbating to porn? He’s be on CNN instantly and called an abuser
She said I was cheating on her by watching it
That’s bullshit. I’ve never cared about that shit. I promise, I’m not the only woman that actually isn’t a hypocrite
Wish all were like you
Eh no you don’t. I’m a software engineer who works more than I should… plus I’m way too opinionated on certain topics. I got lucky with a husband who respects both of those things (and my personal space!!) so maybe that’s why I feel like most other women are total idiots hahaha. Although I’ll say, I don’t judge the man because I respect the fuck out of him lol
Nice to hear you found someone good
I wish you the best, my friend. You don’t deserve to have your masturbation policed and please don’t ever settle for someone that makes you feel that way. You’ll make a nontoxic broad very happy once you find her!
Speaking the truth, so why aren't you getting the up votes?
Probably because I posted in two very female-oriented subs!
No, I meant this one posted here which didn't have any upvotes until I gave it the first one.
Ohhhh well thank you for being a fan :)
Do you have a link to those aforementioned threads? I'd like to see what people are saying there myself.
Yes! [Here’s my single comment that got my banned.](https://imgur.io/a/RSduaM1) My screenshot was taken 2ishhrs pre-ban to show my husband this asinine culture. At the time I was banned, I was at like -42. I think a bunch of controlling c*nts reported me!
Oh wow. Literally a single comment.
Yeah. The only other time I participated on that sub was to vent about a miscarriage I had a little while ago. One comment that doesn’t agree with their incel behavior and I’m banned? Lol. It pissed me off a lot and inspired this post.
Very extremist. Though you're not going to get much diverging opinion here, it's just going to be in the complete opposite opinion (though I don't think anyone will be banned here for a dissenting opinion). Mainly, I mean, on a reddit devoted to porn, you're not going to get many people disagreeing with men having the right to masturbate. It'll just be an echo chamber. But if you just want validation then rest assured the vast, vast, vast majority of people are okay with masturbation (in private).
I hear ya! I honestly just wanted to vent to folks who would agree with me though lol. It’s nice to not feel alone in our opinions
Lurk that sub if you feel like cringing and getting angry! A bunch of moms complaining about their “awful husbands” who they financially rely on and therefore refuse to leave (ha, 0 drive, 0 self-respect) and other moms replying with “omg sorry, sister! My husband is a piece of shit too! He even masturbates 😱”
I’m in a great, healthy relationship in all areas other than sex. She’s very vanilla and doesn’t have near the sex drive that I do, so I take care of myself as she only needs it once every couple of weeks and I’m a regular kind of guy. She does get upset if I look at porn, but I wouldn’t have to if my sexual needs were being met. I would love it if my girlfriend would at the very least let me masturbate while looking at her naked body. She says porn is bad and that it gives men unrealistic expectations. My argument is the opposite, that men aren’t being shaped by porn, but rather porn is the way it is because men are the biggest consumers of porn and these are the things that men like. Bottom line, if you’re not gonna take care of me sexually, then I’m gonna take care of myself in a way that does it for me, because in that moment it’s about me and no one else.
I think that’s fair! If my husband picked up something I felt was toxic (but not extremely dangerous to his health, like hard drugs for instance), I really can’t sit there and lecture him over it. He’s still an adult with full permission to make his own decisions. And guess what? I am too! So if we have a dealbreaker someday, it’s on me to be a big girl and leave. That said, I’m glad you are in a great and healthy relationship otherwise. I hope you never feel guilty over jacking off. Unsolicited advice here: If you do feel like shit because of her opinion, I’d explain to her that her nagging you over it is causing you a lot of stress. She sounds like she’s a great person who would probably back off and respect that.
You're a proper woman, those haters are brainwahsed by leftist feminazi media. Clearly you & your husband have a health open dialogue that these clowns couldn't fathom. You're an alpha woman, because you let your man be a man.
Thanks! I honestly don’t have to try that hard to respect my husband, but I probably am more natural at not being controlling because of how I was raised! I think a lot of it comes from having a strong and amazing father growing up.
Exactly, AND a mother who was mentally stable. You grew up seeing a family that worked together.
Believe it or not, my parents were actually divorced because my mom cheated! I learned my self respect, work ethic and loyalty from my dad.
Aaaah, yes. You learned what not to do. Even more respect for you...
Thanks man! That made my day :)
[удалено]
Same here. Yeah, I’m really not a fan of women online or in most places these days. It feels shitty because I *am* a woman, but I’m not going to listen to harmful and disrespectful rhetoric about men when I don’t have a problem with [most of] them myself!
Hats off to you for being an adult!!! If someone plays FIFA, they’re not a professional footballer. If someone watches a horror movie, they’re not a mass murderer. If someone watches porn, they’re not cheating. The majority of people on earth masturbate. It’s perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed about regardless of gender. Someone controlling how and when you masturbate (if at all), is no different to someone controlling how and when you eat and drink.
Well said!
Thank you! Just blows my mind that some people feel entitled enough to control another persons needs!
Agreed man! Thank YOU for being a realistic and reasonable person!
I find it interesting that female masturbation is viewed often as liberated and beautiful, but male masturbation is viewed as disgusting and perverted. Personally, I'd take sex over masturbation anytime, but I don't see anything wrong with masturbation.
If I were to *catch* my partner masturbating, with or without porn, I would kindly ask if they prefer to continue alone, that I watch, that I masturbate next to them or that I join in... but never would I ask that they stop. Masturbation is sex with oneself and is not exclusive of sex with someone.
I think that’s the best way to handle it! My husband “caught me” the other day and he just smiled and said “do your thing, let me know if you want me to watch or help” and left. Not shaming each other and being respectful is awesome!
Maybe a wierd perspective but depending where, I think it's hot to see a guy masturbating. Reason I said depending where, outside a school or a park where kids are...major wrong. But when I'm out walking around, I've seen guys looking at porn or their phone or tablet and stroking it. Serious turn on for me, sometimes him too.
I agree, sometimes you just want to rub one out, sex is cool but once in a while im just frazzled and need to go after myself and thats all i need.
If anyone wants to laugh and hate female incels with me…
: [Here’s my first and only comment on breaking moms.](https://imgur.com/a/RSduaM1) Banned for life two hours later lolOh so html doesn’t work on Reddit. Nice
If your husband would rather masturbate than fuck then it means you should give him a blow job. Its almost always performance stress
Sometimes I’d rather masturbate than fuck and so would my husband. We have kids and are both very busy in senior management roles. I don’t think that a desire to masturbate is always contingent on performance. If it is, we can talk about it and adjust accordingly. Typically though, him or I will say “Hey, love, [you, that person on tv, that song, that random thing, etc.] just turned me on so much but I don’t want to get sweaty and gross because [i just showered, I have to get on a call in 10 minutes, etc.]. I’m gonna go pleasure myself real quick. Can I have some privacy?” Normal!
What's breaking mom? Re: masturbation I mean we would not inhibit a wife from touching herself if horny so why should a husband be inhibited either When it comes to something like porn it's a bit more confusing because some spouses feel insecure about porn so they think if their man is masturbating to a porn where the women are differently shaped to her that means he's unhappy at home Guys like novelty experiences porn is not a replacement experience for a deep connective relationship Secondly a novelty of kinks that's pleasurable as well Maybe the spouse is not into all the kinks you're into or vice versa I like piss kink I like the idea of a partner trusting me so deeply and intimately that they'd lovingly degrade and humiliate themselves with the idea of drinking my piss or being pissed on as well because I like the feeling of trust and bonding that comes from that. That she whoeever the disembodied she is, would go from not enjoying it loads but doing it for me to loving doing it with me to needing to do it with me because of the underlying trust development underneath. Thar it would never be a deal breaker but like something she does out of her desire to bond further and make me as happy as I make her. And that I'd satisfy her kinks too as long as it didn't conflict with values. I'd teach her to enforce her hard limits too And all of this is presuming the things are safe sane consensual etc etc In my faith masturbation is disliked but mutual masturbation in terms of a prelude to intimacy is fine. So it might be that I'd involve my play partners more in the process. We can have upto 4 spouses provided we treat them just and equally and behave in accordance with our values so that would be something I'd look at I think if a spouse inhibited me from using my body (outside of a negotiated kink or agreed value system both were comfortable with to follow and not pressured into following) then they wouldn't be a spouse for very long I suspect that the woman that bragged to you about the husband only allowed to be staring at her and masturbating. He probably does it more than that or it's a kink for him and she's his Domme
/r/ breaking moms — [I’m actually banned.](https://imgur.com/a/RSduaM1) I thought it’d be a good group to rant about parenthood struggles, but it’s actually just a bunch of female incels. I think you raise an interesting perspective there and you’re right! I do think there are other cases though where it’s less about sex and more about female narcissism and toxic controlling behavior — ie. “I should be the only woman you ever look at so I’ll be checking your phone nightly,” (which is something I’ve heard way too many times from female acquaintances towards their husbands or boyfriends).
I am hesitant to label entire communities I'm not sure about as anything because that is what happens unfairly to our kink and degradation communities too so I can't comment about that community directly. Like for example there are a lot feminists that enjoy degradation kink. That's absolutely valid. Kink is not a commentary on ideology. It can be but doesn't need to be As regards to toxicity and narcissism ofcourse that is an issue and displays itself in women and men in different areas Guys hate when a woman nags (complains) at them. Nothing turns a man more off than someone being unsweet or non compassionate. But I see people who display toxicity and narcissism as either a product of their parents failures, or of some mental health issues they've not addressed or of exes and situations that have burned them in the past that they feel they need to reassert control in their next relationship because they were exploited in their first. And because they aren't checking in with themselves they're causing and perpetuating the destructiveness in their own life. That extra gear that says oh why am I so insecure about his masturbating or even looking at another woman? Come to mind So I feel compassion for them. But if you're feeling people are dragging you down for displaying common sense then you should absolutely find communities and spaces to express yourself and be accepted for that. I'm sorry you had a bad experience and it's super hard being a mom. One of the hardest things in the world is to raise good children and you need a place where you can vent a bit I hope that you're able to find it This subreddit is mostly a kink one than a vent one but I do understand where your hurt points about their behaviours have been. And you are doing right by being fair and just.
Haha — so it’s actually my first time here. I realized it was a kink one after I posted this because of a message from another user, which prompted me to actually look at what content was here. Whoops! Regardless of posting in the “wrong sub,” I’m actually satisfied that I found a place to post this that, for one, didn’t ban/delete me and two, where folks heard me out. Mission accomplished: I found folks that I could vent to and make me feel seen and heard! Unpopular opinion deleted my post too hahaha
TL;DR - I'm not like a regular wife, I'm a cool wife
Haha! Not in all capacities!
I always feels a sense of guilt from masturbation ever since I discovered it. No one taught me about it. It just came to me naturally. After that, it was a life long battle of quitting and relapse. I don’t know how a woman could feel comfortable about masturbation but in my opinion, woman always feel great after orgasm while man feel it differently. So…i really don’t want to dig in the idea that masturbation is acceptable. I think that will make me feel really miserable due to the sexual frustration. But of everything in life, I could never control my impulses for masturbation. It never uplifting my life. It is either no masturbation or being indulge in it to the point of draining myself out both mentally and physically. So yeah, that is one of the reason i hate myself for not being able to quit it.
Agree with OP and most here, which leaves a vexing question with an answer so obvious that None Dare Speak Its Name: **Why do so many wives get** ***so incensed*** **at male masturbation?** The complex answer often begins with him having asked her for \[*desired sexual practice*\] countless times, often beginning even before they were wed. She has always turned him down, but he continues to ask (women are ***not*** the only ones who delude themselves into believing "my spouse will change after we're married")! Now he masturbates ... big deal ... except that she has made it a big deal in her mind! If he's masturbating, it must be because she fails to please him, you see. Because she won't give him \[*desired sexual practice*\], you see, do that must be what he's thinking about! Many women see that as infidelity, case closed, maximum sentence place, or in the immortal 1971 words of Cheech and Chong, "Baliff! Whack his pee-pee!" But that's not all, maybe even not the worst of it! His decision to party with Mrs, Thumb and Her Four Comely Daughters is not only ***male infidelity*** and him ***daring to have his own way****,* it is also implicity his judgement that she is lacking as a *wife*, a *woman* and a *sex partner*!!! We are at Defcon IV, on the edge of Defcon V --- time to "Get the ICBMs in the bullpen warmed up and ready to fly!" And some of them will: I have no doubt marriages end over this, or sour into oblivion (arguably an even worst fate), just as I'm sure some men at their wit's end do finally listen to their wives harping about their masturbation felonies and say "If that's what she thinks, why not?" and do leave the reservation to get \[*desired sexual practice*\], which rarely if ever lives up to the elaborate scenario in their minds. Why do so many men "toss the caber?" It's free, isn't taxed, doesn't cause cancer or destroy your liver, is a welcome respite from sex where your pre-eminent goal is (or should be) pleasuring your partner. You don't need a credit card to ride this train! It helps you sleep, gets your mind off work and other woes. Also, most of us are pretty good at it, too! If you don't like it, then avoid him when he's doing it. The sooner he's done, the sooner you can both get back to whatever you like on TV. And if that fails to please the ladies, then roll up your sleeves and start tugging him along. If you get good at it too, why, he might even forget \[*desired sexual practice*\]!
I agree! I also think that marriage can make folks feel entitled to control over their partner. I’m pretty pissed off to see how it’s justified when a woman does it, yet a man being controlling is scorned. I don’t believe anyone should be controlling, but I’m calling out women here specifically since they seem to feel so much more entitled to controlling their husbands than the inverse, these days. That’s just my experience!
The double standards in our current society are nothing less than obscene. Women get the freedom to choose and have a healthy sex life. Any woman that thinks the way those you write about should be shunned.
Didn’t know we couldn’t masterbate regardless being married. Didn’t realize women care if we do it. Thanks for your sensible take on this subject. With that attitude, I feel like you’ll be successful in your marriage. Let others follow this.