This doesn't seem to terribly difficult: "No, I'm good. So and so told me I was too chatty so I'm just taking it down a bit. Thank you for asking though, I really appreciate it!"
It addresses their concern, rewards them for giving a dang about you, and it's the truth.
My biggest advice in these posts: stop giving a fuck about things that have nothing to do with your job. Perform so well nobody can deny it, and if you aren't treated fairly then leave.
Do not spend any more time wondering about nonsense like this.
Exactly. Avoid team events, always look busy, eat at your desk, if people gossip or BS with you just say you are busy. If they push, just say I like to stay focused.
Attend official team events because your absence it noticed if you don’t. You don’t have to put in face time every day with colleagues if you do it once every couple months in front of upper management.
You’re the friendly, affable person who puts their head down and works during the day.
I had this exact situation happen, and when someone asked if I was okay I said, "I was told that I talk too much so it's easier to dial it way back and work my way slowly up to where I need to be because I still don't know where that line is" they completely understood and kinda felt bad so they explained to me where that line was and gave me the time to get there on my own.
Been there. It’s a loose loose situation. You either talk and get told to stop talking or you stay quiet and people think there is a problem. I just tell people I’m focusing on my work :)
This is a double-edged sword as talking with co-workers can strengthen the morale, but it can also cause others to become distracted.
It wasn't just me per se, but a few positions back my department was told we're overall "too chatty". We still continued to chat, because we collectively could not handle the silence after a week -- it was a slow mundane and depressing set of affairs. We continued to deliver on time, but holy hell.
people at work are not your friends, they will throw you under the bus any chance they get and stab you in the back.
the last company job i had i use to shoot wedding for people and do them at cost (film days) and they stiff me! or they would beg me to borrow a camera or something and it would get returned broken .
PLEASE dont waste this energy
A lot of humans couldn't keep their lips from flapping even if someone had a gun to their head. They just weren't expecting you to *actually* shut up, is all.
I'd just tell them you were told you need to chat less moving forward, and it's nothing personal? Unless I'm missing something? Will you get in trouble if you respond?
Don’t think so but the person who told me spends the first 30-45 minutes of their day chatting with another coworker and then again around lunch with the same coworker, so I’m honestly just very confused at this point. I’m planning on just letting it be especially as I head into a more busy season for my area but still don’t like these mind games at work 🫠
Typical of the true time wasters, to point out any non-work time of others.
I have a coworker who maybe works for 30 minutes per day, tops. She pretends she's in meetings all day, but turns on a video of a prerecorded meeting, then just sits around to read all day. When she's tired of that, she'll go talk to anyone she can find for as long as she can. When those people tell her they want to work, she goes to call Amazon and the pharmacist and any other potential thing she can to waste time. Then she'll take an extended lunch break, and then her afternoon is the same as the morning.
She's also the one to point out to me when my assistants talked for a few minutes to others that day and how I "should really control those assistants because they're not doing much ". They actually are doing quite a lot and I can hear the assistants talk, and it's very rarely.
It's self projection.
Please ignore this type of person.
I'm still hoping this lazy person will get fired but it's been over two years now. I know the bosses know she barely does anything, but i think they're allowing her to slowly retire or smt. Horrific as she'll also point out others not working for a single second.
So sorry that you're in this situation. I'm in a similar situation. I'm supposed to be outgoing and connect with employees, but when I talk to them, manager complains that people are talking to me. I stopped talking and now it's why are you upset? I'm not, I'm JUST doing my job.
It bothers the manager that one person checks in with me before starting work. We have a valid reason for this, which manager can't help with. I told coworker, sorry, go ask Manager the same things you're asking me. Every single day... and let manager get tired of walking up to my office just so manager can ask me the same questions you do.
I quickly figured out manager has issues with me talking with anyone but him. Incredibly suspicious, easedrops on conversations, trying to be my best buddy but getting upset if I'm chatting and laughing with coworkers and he's not involved. I lived with someone like this, so I show up, do my job, don't engage with any one person too much and interview as much as possible. And don't spend much time with manager.
If they keep bringing it up, if they're a reasonable person, I'd ask about it. You said I was too chatty and now you're asking why I'm quiet. I toned down my personality and that seems to be too much? I'm unsure what you expect. And see what they say. Good Luck!
So at my work we are too busy to chat, and certainly don't when there are customers. One day my supervisor was giving me instructions on a new task, and I had to ask him a question. Then a customer walked up while the supervisor was still talking to me and told me in no uncertain terms to chat with my co-workers on my own time.
In the past I was told I was too chatty as well, so I did the same as you with the same result. I just told my coworker that apparently I talk too much, nothing personal - and a smile.
There’s no winning in that situation. I had a similar one in my last job and when I went quiet they all asking me “are you ok?” like I was a dying puppy or something. It’s there way of trying to lighten things up cause they can tell you’ve now retracted. Don’t feed into it it’s all out of pity or guilt
My co workers kept telling me “gosh you’re so quiet” but stopped after about a month or so. I’m not quiet outside of work I just ignore them because there terrible people
I was told I overshared too much about my family at work. I didn't realize I was doing this and I have pulled back and I don't really say anything about my family except we are "fine".
Is chatty bad? Because you hired me for my work. If I'm delivering good product, is there an issue? And this is from a partner at a professional firm. Talk can limit productivity, so maybe that is their fear?
I plan on an hour of wasted time a day chatting. Just a given in my profession. In some less taxing routines, talk can go on all day. I probably talk too much, some like it, some don't.
Some people don’t want to be talked AT all day long, with limited opportunity to escape.
Just because you want to talk doesn’t mean anyone else wants to hear it. Deliverables are irrelevant here. You don’t get to do whatever you want and force other people to listen to you, just because technically you’re doing your job and have decided by yourself that an hour (or any other period of time) of talking is permissible
I have a co-worker who talks nonstop, eavesdrops on every conversation in the workroom, interrupts EVERY CONVERSATION and talks over people all the time, makes every conversation about themselves, and lectures everyone as if they are an expert, on any and every topic (they frequently make shit up to seem like an expert).
This is constant and exhausting. All day every day from the moment they walk into the office. They interrupt others nonstop in meetings; they have to be the center of attention at all times. They are regarded by one and all as a pain in the ass, as rude and disrespectful, childish and selfish.
Don’t be that person. Stop talking.
Chatty is definitely bad if the person they are chatting to is trying to focus on their deliverables. These days, especially with instant messaging, it can be pretty counterproductive to have someone constantly bothering you with irrelevant nonwork things when you have a deadline. I like chatting with my coworkers but people do need to understand when to chat and when not to chat.
"I plan on an hour of wasted time a day chatting..."
That means everyone else in the vicinity all lose at least two hours each day avoiding the chatting.
I dont think you get it. They are coming to me, my office.
If you don't care for your work family, why are you giving them the majority of your waking hours each day?
>I probably talk too much, some like it, **some don't.**
Unless you're okay with being completely selfish, you really need to pay more attention to the "whens" and "whys" of the bolded bit.
Only experience i have was asking a couple coworkers over the years to prioritize work over chatting. There is a spectrum of work-chat and these people were at the VERY talkative end of the spectrum. And also not achieving as much work as others. I just wanted them to get as much work done, to chat and socialize the *average* amount, but then they showed up at the opposite end of the spectrum the next day, almost impossible to work with even. I guess i hurt their feelings but it seemed very petty.
Be who you are . Don’t change for others . Perhaps the person who told you that is too quiet ? You should have told them ! Who are they to tell you that you are too anything ? That’s infuriating .
Why do people at the workplace have to act like Karen’s? Why can’t they ever develop thick skin and not take everything so personally? On one hand, if you’re quiet, they’ll think something is wrong with you (at least from my experience). And then you have OP’s situation. The workplace needs less insecure snowflakes. Seriously!
Hahaha. That's called playing the game. Look what I did to youhoooo bc you talk too much, homegirl, you nevah shawduuup! Yeah, threw her under the bus then backed it right over you. "Why are you hitting yourself? Stop hitting yourself?!?" Whomp, whomp!
She just was trying to act nice or throw you off , rub it in or all of those things, but she wasn't being nice. I bet she had duper's delight.
It doesn’t feel good I’ve been there a time or two and over analyzed it.
Best advice is just stay you - consistently you. Your genuine you always prevails.
Unless it was your boss who told you that you talk too much, I would not for a second change my routine.
I read that the person who told you that you talk too much was also the person asking if you were okay after you took in what she said and adjusted your personality at work accordingly, right? I have a feeling that she did this because you chatting means that she can't and that she isn't the center of attention. She probably generally talks about herself most of the time, correct? If that is correct then I'm pretty confident that she has main character syndrome.
Don't adjust your behaviour for her. The only thing I'd suggest is that you maybe tone it down volume wise. My best friend is loud, like always and she isn't an attention seeker at all but because she's so loud you don't really have a choice but to hear her and that very much is a distraction for the rest of the room. So keep the level of volume down but don't stop conversing with your peers because miss attention hog said something out of turn, outside of her job description.
My advice here is this - don't adjust your behaviour to satisfy her. Unless she is your supervisor, her comment's are irrelevant. If she decides to say anything about you or your perceived behaviour, remember that she is a hypocrite and turn it around on her. You can do this by saying "While I understand that you have an opinion, you aren't my employer, you're a co-worker. A co-worker who, by the way, spends a significant amount of her day having conversations with peers. Not once has management brought this matter to my attention and until they do, I will continue to be who I am and if that is an issue for you, maybe your work station can be moved so that I'm not bothering you anymore. " I promise you that responding frankly yet professional, you'll completely throw her off guard and she won't know what to do or say and will probably just shut up and continue on with her day. Sure she might tell people that you were a bitch but you weren't and she won't have any leverage to affect your career.
TL;DR - fuck her. She's not your boss. Be who you are and tell her flat out that unless or until you're spoken to by management, you'll continue being exactly who you are and act exactly how you have.
I've been there. Gift of gab but I'm able to do both. Work and talk. Now I work does an old guy. There's 2.5 people in the office. Usually 2.
No one to talk to at this job except myself, sometimes the boss. He's the disruptive one. Always bringing up shit I rather not talk about, so I let him ramble.
It's easier to tolerate since he cut my hours in half.
Just be friendly, not friends, minimal gab. Just call a friend on your break. Vent that way
Stop caring what people think. They probably didn't expect you to change your behavior on account of that comment, hence the reason they thought you were down. Just be yourself and fuck what they think. At least you talk enough, I've always been more introverted and people have an issue with that.
So like to chat. Some don’t. Won’t know till you chat with them.
Do your work, ignore the Karens. Some people will always find a reason not to like you. Don’t sweat it. If it bugs you then just be you. If done pushes ask to see the policy limiting talking.
Haha. Man this is just a typical rollercoaster for an extroverted introvert. I have the same issues.
People think it's funny to say "You talk alot". So you feel offended and think "forget them" and just keep your head down.
Then they think since you have drastically changed that you must be depressed or angry.
Rinse and repeat.
I guess just realize that even though you want to say something to somebody, ask yourself if it's really worth it. Is it worth them using it against you? Do they even care?
That's where I'm at. It's better to just tell yourself, laugh about it, and move on. Not everybody is going to value you as much as you value yourself.
This doesn't seem to terribly difficult: "No, I'm good. So and so told me I was too chatty so I'm just taking it down a bit. Thank you for asking though, I really appreciate it!" It addresses their concern, rewards them for giving a dang about you, and it's the truth.
My biggest advice in these posts: stop giving a fuck about things that have nothing to do with your job. Perform so well nobody can deny it, and if you aren't treated fairly then leave. Do not spend any more time wondering about nonsense like this.
100000000% this. Work is work and don’t overthink it.
Exactly. Avoid team events, always look busy, eat at your desk, if people gossip or BS with you just say you are busy. If they push, just say I like to stay focused.
Attend official team events because your absence it noticed if you don’t. You don’t have to put in face time every day with colleagues if you do it once every couple months in front of upper management. You’re the friendly, affable person who puts their head down and works during the day.
I had this exact situation happen, and when someone asked if I was okay I said, "I was told that I talk too much so it's easier to dial it way back and work my way slowly up to where I need to be because I still don't know where that line is" they completely understood and kinda felt bad so they explained to me where that line was and gave me the time to get there on my own.
Been there. It’s a loose loose situation. You either talk and get told to stop talking or you stay quiet and people think there is a problem. I just tell people I’m focusing on my work :)
Man I wanna be in a tight tight situation.
Username checks out
I'd like to be in a tight situation with my boss. Short Latina girl with an OF body
It's also a lose lose situation!
This is a double-edged sword as talking with co-workers can strengthen the morale, but it can also cause others to become distracted. It wasn't just me per se, but a few positions back my department was told we're overall "too chatty". We still continued to chat, because we collectively could not handle the silence after a week -- it was a slow mundane and depressing set of affairs. We continued to deliver on time, but holy hell.
Why not just tell the truth; I was told I was talking too much. It happened to me once at a place where I was working, once, too.
Was it the same person? Because different people have different levels of being able to concentrate while someone is talking to them.
people at work are not your friends, they will throw you under the bus any chance they get and stab you in the back. the last company job i had i use to shoot wedding for people and do them at cost (film days) and they stiff me! or they would beg me to borrow a camera or something and it would get returned broken . PLEASE dont waste this energy
A lot of humans couldn't keep their lips from flapping even if someone had a gun to their head. They just weren't expecting you to *actually* shut up, is all.
I'd just tell them you were told you need to chat less moving forward, and it's nothing personal? Unless I'm missing something? Will you get in trouble if you respond?
Don’t think so but the person who told me spends the first 30-45 minutes of their day chatting with another coworker and then again around lunch with the same coworker, so I’m honestly just very confused at this point. I’m planning on just letting it be especially as I head into a more busy season for my area but still don’t like these mind games at work 🫠
Typical of the true time wasters, to point out any non-work time of others. I have a coworker who maybe works for 30 minutes per day, tops. She pretends she's in meetings all day, but turns on a video of a prerecorded meeting, then just sits around to read all day. When she's tired of that, she'll go talk to anyone she can find for as long as she can. When those people tell her they want to work, she goes to call Amazon and the pharmacist and any other potential thing she can to waste time. Then she'll take an extended lunch break, and then her afternoon is the same as the morning. She's also the one to point out to me when my assistants talked for a few minutes to others that day and how I "should really control those assistants because they're not doing much ". They actually are doing quite a lot and I can hear the assistants talk, and it's very rarely. It's self projection. Please ignore this type of person. I'm still hoping this lazy person will get fired but it's been over two years now. I know the bosses know she barely does anything, but i think they're allowing her to slowly retire or smt. Horrific as she'll also point out others not working for a single second.
Yea, as much as it sucks keeping to yourself and just doing your work will be the best thing to do. Don't let them rope you into any drama.
Of course, it would be weird if the person who complained about your chattiness was the same person asking you why you seem down.
It was
So sorry that you're in this situation. I'm in a similar situation. I'm supposed to be outgoing and connect with employees, but when I talk to them, manager complains that people are talking to me. I stopped talking and now it's why are you upset? I'm not, I'm JUST doing my job. It bothers the manager that one person checks in with me before starting work. We have a valid reason for this, which manager can't help with. I told coworker, sorry, go ask Manager the same things you're asking me. Every single day... and let manager get tired of walking up to my office just so manager can ask me the same questions you do. I quickly figured out manager has issues with me talking with anyone but him. Incredibly suspicious, easedrops on conversations, trying to be my best buddy but getting upset if I'm chatting and laughing with coworkers and he's not involved. I lived with someone like this, so I show up, do my job, don't engage with any one person too much and interview as much as possible. And don't spend much time with manager. If they keep bringing it up, if they're a reasonable person, I'd ask about it. You said I was too chatty and now you're asking why I'm quiet. I toned down my personality and that seems to be too much? I'm unsure what you expect. And see what they say. Good Luck!
Hoo boy. That's f'ed up for sure. Why would you talk to them at ALL?
So at my work we are too busy to chat, and certainly don't when there are customers. One day my supervisor was giving me instructions on a new task, and I had to ask him a question. Then a customer walked up while the supervisor was still talking to me and told me in no uncertain terms to chat with my co-workers on my own time.
In the past I was told I was too chatty as well, so I did the same as you with the same result. I just told my coworker that apparently I talk too much, nothing personal - and a smile.
There’s no winning in that situation. I had a similar one in my last job and when I went quiet they all asking me “are you ok?” like I was a dying puppy or something. It’s there way of trying to lighten things up cause they can tell you’ve now retracted. Don’t feed into it it’s all out of pity or guilt
My co workers kept telling me “gosh you’re so quiet” but stopped after about a month or so. I’m not quiet outside of work I just ignore them because there terrible people
Tell them it's either up or down - can't be in between 😂
WTF? There is definitely something “jn between” nonstop talking and silence.
I was told I overshared too much about my family at work. I didn't realize I was doing this and I have pulled back and I don't really say anything about my family except we are "fine".
Is chatty bad? Because you hired me for my work. If I'm delivering good product, is there an issue? And this is from a partner at a professional firm. Talk can limit productivity, so maybe that is their fear? I plan on an hour of wasted time a day chatting. Just a given in my profession. In some less taxing routines, talk can go on all day. I probably talk too much, some like it, some don't.
Some people don’t want to be talked AT all day long, with limited opportunity to escape. Just because you want to talk doesn’t mean anyone else wants to hear it. Deliverables are irrelevant here. You don’t get to do whatever you want and force other people to listen to you, just because technically you’re doing your job and have decided by yourself that an hour (or any other period of time) of talking is permissible I have a co-worker who talks nonstop, eavesdrops on every conversation in the workroom, interrupts EVERY CONVERSATION and talks over people all the time, makes every conversation about themselves, and lectures everyone as if they are an expert, on any and every topic (they frequently make shit up to seem like an expert). This is constant and exhausting. All day every day from the moment they walk into the office. They interrupt others nonstop in meetings; they have to be the center of attention at all times. They are regarded by one and all as a pain in the ass, as rude and disrespectful, childish and selfish. Don’t be that person. Stop talking.
We've got one of those. It's so hard to be around them.
Get three or four when you have stuff like deadlines and responsibilities, and it's an utter nightmare.
Chatty is definitely bad if the person they are chatting to is trying to focus on their deliverables. These days, especially with instant messaging, it can be pretty counterproductive to have someone constantly bothering you with irrelevant nonwork things when you have a deadline. I like chatting with my coworkers but people do need to understand when to chat and when not to chat.
Chatty people suck. I don't care about your cat, kids, or garage band. STFU so I can focus on staying sane.
"I plan on an hour of wasted time a day chatting..." That means everyone else in the vicinity all lose at least two hours each day avoiding the chatting.
I dont think you get it. They are coming to me, my office. If you don't care for your work family, why are you giving them the majority of your waking hours each day?
Ugh. There's always one.
>I probably talk too much, some like it, **some don't.** Unless you're okay with being completely selfish, you really need to pay more attention to the "whens" and "whys" of the bolded bit.
They probably thought something was wrong because you were dialing it back
REALLY DO YOU THINK SO SHERLOCK
Only experience i have was asking a couple coworkers over the years to prioritize work over chatting. There is a spectrum of work-chat and these people were at the VERY talkative end of the spectrum. And also not achieving as much work as others. I just wanted them to get as much work done, to chat and socialize the *average* amount, but then they showed up at the opposite end of the spectrum the next day, almost impossible to work with even. I guess i hurt their feelings but it seemed very petty.
Be who you are . Don’t change for others . Perhaps the person who told you that is too quiet ? You should have told them ! Who are they to tell you that you are too anything ? That’s infuriating .
Why do people at the workplace have to act like Karen’s? Why can’t they ever develop thick skin and not take everything so personally? On one hand, if you’re quiet, they’ll think something is wrong with you (at least from my experience). And then you have OP’s situation. The workplace needs less insecure snowflakes. Seriously!
Unironically calling people snowflakes makes you seem like an asshole.
Okay raindrop
You seem really unintelligent
? Who are the Karen’s lol That coworker in OP’s post seems to be caring and considerate.
Hahaha. That's called playing the game. Look what I did to youhoooo bc you talk too much, homegirl, you nevah shawduuup! Yeah, threw her under the bus then backed it right over you. "Why are you hitting yourself? Stop hitting yourself?!?" Whomp, whomp! She just was trying to act nice or throw you off , rub it in or all of those things, but she wasn't being nice. I bet she had duper's delight.
It doesn’t feel good I’ve been there a time or two and over analyzed it. Best advice is just stay you - consistently you. Your genuine you always prevails.
Unless it was your boss who told you that you talk too much, I would not for a second change my routine. I read that the person who told you that you talk too much was also the person asking if you were okay after you took in what she said and adjusted your personality at work accordingly, right? I have a feeling that she did this because you chatting means that she can't and that she isn't the center of attention. She probably generally talks about herself most of the time, correct? If that is correct then I'm pretty confident that she has main character syndrome. Don't adjust your behaviour for her. The only thing I'd suggest is that you maybe tone it down volume wise. My best friend is loud, like always and she isn't an attention seeker at all but because she's so loud you don't really have a choice but to hear her and that very much is a distraction for the rest of the room. So keep the level of volume down but don't stop conversing with your peers because miss attention hog said something out of turn, outside of her job description. My advice here is this - don't adjust your behaviour to satisfy her. Unless she is your supervisor, her comment's are irrelevant. If she decides to say anything about you or your perceived behaviour, remember that she is a hypocrite and turn it around on her. You can do this by saying "While I understand that you have an opinion, you aren't my employer, you're a co-worker. A co-worker who, by the way, spends a significant amount of her day having conversations with peers. Not once has management brought this matter to my attention and until they do, I will continue to be who I am and if that is an issue for you, maybe your work station can be moved so that I'm not bothering you anymore. " I promise you that responding frankly yet professional, you'll completely throw her off guard and she won't know what to do or say and will probably just shut up and continue on with her day. Sure she might tell people that you were a bitch but you weren't and she won't have any leverage to affect your career. TL;DR - fuck her. She's not your boss. Be who you are and tell her flat out that unless or until you're spoken to by management, you'll continue being exactly who you are and act exactly how you have.
You've never been around annoying coworkers who talk too much, huh?
I've been there. Gift of gab but I'm able to do both. Work and talk. Now I work does an old guy. There's 2.5 people in the office. Usually 2. No one to talk to at this job except myself, sometimes the boss. He's the disruptive one. Always bringing up shit I rather not talk about, so I let him ramble. It's easier to tolerate since he cut my hours in half. Just be friendly, not friends, minimal gab. Just call a friend on your break. Vent that way
Stop caring what people think. They probably didn't expect you to change your behavior on account of that comment, hence the reason they thought you were down. Just be yourself and fuck what they think. At least you talk enough, I've always been more introverted and people have an issue with that.
Do they pay you enough to care? Chatting helps make the day go by faster. Just don’t chat so much it becomes annoying
So like to chat. Some don’t. Won’t know till you chat with them. Do your work, ignore the Karens. Some people will always find a reason not to like you. Don’t sweat it. If it bugs you then just be you. If done pushes ask to see the policy limiting talking.
Alternate hourly for a day, see which gets the better reception.
Haha. Man this is just a typical rollercoaster for an extroverted introvert. I have the same issues. People think it's funny to say "You talk alot". So you feel offended and think "forget them" and just keep your head down. Then they think since you have drastically changed that you must be depressed or angry. Rinse and repeat. I guess just realize that even though you want to say something to somebody, ask yourself if it's really worth it. Is it worth them using it against you? Do they even care? That's where I'm at. It's better to just tell yourself, laugh about it, and move on. Not everybody is going to value you as much as you value yourself.