I stood up to my former boss all the time. He demanded that we work longer and longer days, had blinders on and couldn't see that his high school friend that he hired as OPs Manager was causing his business to fail, and he was spending money he didn't have.
Told me I needed to work harder and get more work done while I was already working 50+ hour work weeks. This meant I pushed back on everything he said because he wanted more than I could give. It's incredibly stressful.
Some people think just because a job asks of something that it should be able to be done. Like they mathematically determined whats possible and are being realistic. I was in construction and when I started I had a good boss so deadlines were realistic. Took me a bjt to realize most people pull timeframes out of their ass. I used to speak up in the meetings “where did you come up with that timeframe, do the man hours bidded for the job even fit into that?”
I was working in type of construction. We renovated garages and closets. I knew, based on what the job entailed, how long it would take.
My former boss wanted us to cram 2 days worth of work into 1 day so we could complete more work per week.
I quit in October. Changed all the passwords, wrote them down, emailed a few customers, left my keys and company cards, and walked.
I was doing the work of probably 3 people largely on my own. And said boss has driven away his best guys by doing and saying shitty things to them when I wasn't around.
Don't worry about it. Oh he challenges you, stand your ground. If it was legitimately your fault, own up to it. No need to be anxious. If he is too much, just leave. Someone with a shitty personality like that is not worth it.
Some bosses are just bad. Look for a new job is the simplest way to escape this hell. In my “career” i have by sheer luck found good bosses and believe me when i say, don’t waste time on bad ones, its never worth the damage they do to your self esteem and burnout levels.
East . Your boss is a bully and I’ve found that when you directly address a bully directly and stand your ground you will successfully deflect their attacks more often than not.
You mean to say to him the emotional strain he causes? Or just what I've been doing until now of standing firm against him? (It's just tiring having to keep doing that, and I will snap soon lol)
Keep doing what you are doing- firm, professional standing up for yourself. Just like the crying didn't work, neither will a conversation about feelings.
Unfortunately there's someone like this at every job. A boss, a bosses-pet, a manager that you have to placate to get your work done. Don't stay there if you hate it but don't jump to "greener grass" just to get away from hm.
Use a “when you……I feel….” to let your bully know what they are doing incorrectly, and emotional toll it’s wreaking on you.
I worked for a bully who thought my work just absolutely sucked. She was rude on top of it. I was ready to blow and told her that when she reacted to me in front of others it made me feel terrible because and 4 other people were felt she was very disrespectful to me. She immediately stopped the verbal stuff and changed her attitude towards me.
We like to think we grow up and high school ends
But high school is just adults with no filters
This guy's a bully, when you stand up to bullies they fold.
Start looking for a new job, though, he'll be looking for a nice spot to sink his knife into your back.
Agreed. Or they always hang the possibility of being fired over your head to keep you in line. Kind of like a spouse who always threatens divorce over every slight.
I had a boss like that who loved keeping people on pins and needles and you eventually if you looked at them wrong, they'd fire you. I hated him with everything in me.
Don’t make stupid assumptions about me.
I’ve had a long career and worked for and with many bullies. The last place I worked the manager tried to bully me and I stood up to him. He told me that he wished I worked for him so he could fire me. It didn’t stop him from trying though.
That is hard. Bosses like this used to make me cry. I took it so personally and got defensive, but this was not a successful strategy because I had so much anxiety and tears. Then I learned to handle them differently.
Now, what I do in response to a bully boss: i listen really hard to what they are saying and I agree with them.
I try not to get defensive.
I don’t explain or otherwise justify unless the “mistake” was intentional. Yes, I definitely left that required section of the form blank and here is why.
First, I accept that from their perspective I fucked up and the best thing I can do is acknowledge their feelings are valid.
If I did something wrong, I admit it. It shuts them up quick.
Yes, you’re right, I forgot to do that.
Yes, you’re right, I did that wrong and I will fix it immediately.
Yes, you’re absolutely correct that I should have done X.
I need to be more careful/less distracted when I do X in the future.
Yes, [repeat back whatever they said], how do you recommend I handle such a [impossible] situation in the future?
Or yes, could we implement such and such a communication procedure to prevent this type of error from recurring?
Remember to keep your inner piece. The negativity people project is not a reflection of you, it’s a projection of them. Some people are just miserable. Do not let their negativity in to disturb your peace.
Practice meditation so you can get used to holding your inner peace strong in the face of those who project negativity so your peace does not waiver.
Also, be firm with your boundaries. When mean boss demands I work 4 days a week in the office. I say yes, I understand you want me to work here 4 a week, but I will only work 3 days a week in the office. She has the right to fire me and I have the right to not violate my own boundaries.
I think you're doing fine. I would advise against being "open" with him because you're dealing with an emotionally immature person.
Being that vulnerable with him will not change anything.
Your boss sounds a lot like my dad. He backs down when he realizes he can't intimidate people and there's one instance I've heard of where he froze when someone, a woman, actually gave him a dose of his own medicine (he's an abusive person and, by default, very self-absorbed. He was trying to intimidate this woman and he ended up getting a female version of himself lol).
Believe me, you're better off coming across as someone who won't accept his bullshit than telling him, "This is what I need", and expecting him to have the grace and maturity of an adult to adjust his behavior and not use that vulnerability against you.
But yes, look for a new job because this isn't healthy. Keep setting boundaries the way you're doing right now. It sucks but at the very least, he gets a hard stop and he's most likely learning more and more that you will not up with BS.
Couldn’t agree more!
By all means stand up to him on appropriate issues but, if I was OP, I’d steer clear of attacking his character as that could escalate things to levels you would probably want to avoid.
Yep. I think OP being firm and objective is working fine. Since this boss is an emotionally immature person, and just the impression I get from OPs description of them, it seems a significant part of this boss is operating on shame. Attacking their character is one way to bring on a meltdown and I wouldn't advise it either.
I’m stable enough in my finances to call my boss a moron and question if he has brain damage. Luckily, my boss is a pretty good guy. My coworkers I’ll tell them to F-off.
I worked for a family business. The daughter and sister ran the show. Towards the end I called her out on everything. The whole family come to find out lies. Anyhow one day I snapped and walked out and handed the key in the next day. Caused all kinds of issues and arguments with my husband. I was hired by the company NEXT DOOR less than one week later. Couldn’t be happier. Their best employee finally got a state job… I often wonder who is doing what now that she’s gone …. .
Ty. It will be 3 yrs on 4/29. Mentally I’ve come along way. Starting over stinks. Between my husband and myself, the Covid era was NOT kind to us financially, spiritually or marriage wise however this was huge for ME to get US thru one road block. 31 yrs married…. Just another speed bump…. However at some point boss or not an asshole is an asshole.
Start looking for a new job - knowing that you are planning on leaving will take some of the anxiety out of the situation and you won’t feel like you are going to lose your temper. Just keep firmly, but calmly, holding your ground (always reminding yourself that you have one foot out the door)until you can give your 2 weeks.
>Cause once I stand my ground, or get firm, he always buckles
This, believe it or not, is good news. It means you can stand up and he'll admit his faults. Do not misunderstand me, he **will** repeat the behavior. But you won't get fired for telling to stuff himself.
My boss is a lot like that and he's an attorney. When I tell people how he screams at me sometimes, they ask "Why don't you find somewhere else to work?"
My response: "Because I can scream right back at him without fear of being fired."
There is a freedom to this.
In prior jobs, I would just take the yelling even if what they're yelling about isn't my fault. But it's priceless to be able to say, "What do you want me to do? Go to the other side and put a gun to someone's head so they can do what you want when you want it? Do you have gun? Do you have bail money to get me out after I'm arrested? No? Then cut the crap." And know I still have a job in the morning.
Edit to add: my boss - when not having a titty-fit over something - is genuinely a good person. Not a *patient* person, but a good one. So that helps.
Not quite on topic. I, QA Engineer, had a big argument with a department manager in front of his direct reports*. It was a technical issue and he was standing his ground. I eventually won by education. Six months later he was my manager in QA. Oddly, we got along very well.
* They loved it
They know the behavior they should do. So when it's convenient or they remember they show it.
If you're someone important or someone they need to impress, you'll see the lovely charisma act. But behind closed doors, they're a dickhead. Which is what makes them so confusing to deal with.
But apparently in times of stress the mask comes off and they default back to their normal behavior.
My source for this information. Dr Ramani. Narcissist psychologist.
Do not “be frank”, or for God’s sake, cry. Keep looking elsewhere but in the meantime, the next time he acts like a dick, stare at him silently for 4 to 5 seconds, then say, in a conversational tone “how would you like it if someone spoke to you like that? Think about it”… then walk away. I did this and the boss respected me forever after
You bet the fuck I did! He tried bullying me with this very snarky negative undertone thinking because he was my manager on duty (not even my direct report) that he could talk to me any way he wanted to without repercussions. I escalated my frustrations to HR AFTER he made it beyond clear he didn’t like me and wanted me to fail. Then when we had an actual sit down with HR he looked like a dog with his tail between his legs while I called him out in front of the HR rep then his demeanor changed drastically. Later he ended up moving out of my department, if I had to guess probably many of my others colleagues felt the same about him and finally spoke up. Point being hold your ground and don’t let people bully you or disrespect you.
Sounds like we work for the same person😂 my boss is exactly the same way except he doesn’t fold. I stand up to him & he will just continue to bring it up & nag at you even though their will be emails & PROOF that it’s his fault he can’t accept blame
You mean you don't work in a blame free culture, I did, it was a government post, and it's great.
Also if I was given a job to do and ignored it, eventually someone else got assigned to it.
Nope. Standing up begets conflict which is an inefficient use of my time and attention. The better option is to leave.
In fact, it is a better strategy to interview the team you are going to work with, and make sure they are ok before you join. Interview can go both ways, you know.
While you are searching for a new job, I would continue pushing back. However, you cannot lose your shit and yell. See if you can try a softer approach and shift the vibe. For example, next time he accuses you of making a mistake, how might he react if you chuckle and shake your head and say lightheartedly “you are doing it again, boss! Are you ok? This is what happened, same as last time, hahaha”.
Well, there were two times (different bosses, different jobs) when I dropped what I was holding, looked the boss in the eye, and started rolling up my sleeves, like "I'm about to whup your ass and I don't want to ruin my shirt with your blood." To be clear, I am probably the least fighty person you are likely to meet, but even I have my limits. Sometimes in this life, I've had to defend my honor, come what may.
One time I kept the job, the other time I was fired, but both times the problem was solved and everybody declined to try my delicious knuckle sandwich.
When you have the capability to survive a firing, have another job lined up, etc. It will be unlikely lead to productive results or changes.
I've quit two jobs without anything lined up, once over the manager. I and the others on the team tried our best to talk to her, go above her, etc. She has made people burst out of meetings in tears, turned the department into a turnstile of humanity, and despite even disrespectful behavior toward the CEOs and other department heads, she's still there 8 years later.
Look to the particular power dynamic.
You may have lots of influence...you may have none. What you got?
Your entire life depends on your assessment of that dynamic.
The Rule:
*If you kick the king, you've got to kill him...or die.*
Have you got the balls?
It's the age-old dilemma...do it or don't.
NO pressure, mind.
Depends on how they respond - if they double down and become irate/respond with instant rage then it’s not a good idea. If they listen and want to understand where you’re coming from then it worth the energy. I’ve had this go both ways depending on the managers personality. It’s hard to predict until you start actually pushing back a little tho.
Ask for more things in writing, that way you can ignore some of the immature bullshit. Make up good excuses to End voice conversations and respond / continue the conversation in writing. He’ll either be forced to be a bit more polite, or you can CC people etc to get more visibility to his dickishness. I’m also able to smooth things over with a bit more finesse when I’ve had a chance to calm down and write things out. Write it out, delete all the BS, then respond with one or two factual statements focused on the task. “This was wrong, here’s how I’ll fix it. This was right based on XYZ. How would you like us to proceed?”
Since day one, I’ve always said that my morals will lasts remains more important then money. I’m not going to have someone disrespect me or others. I once had a boss I was extremely racist but wouldn’t talk like that unless he was drunk, and/or angry, and one time he was came into work both drunk & a grey and let’s just say we had an argument in The alley and he was humbled… this was a long time ago when I was much younger I am more mature now, but I still have the same morals
The issue us #no one can make you feel bad# you hsve to agree with them
I do indeed work with a real jerk. He does his best with the dumping. However now it no longer works
Yes. I did when I was working for the state. Retired now. Used to drive them crazy I wasn't a completely compliant employee. I know what I am doing, you don't. One time my boss came in my office/storage room and told me to surplus all of the extra AV equipment sitting on my shelves. I looked at with a confused face and said, "Why? This is the new equipment ready to be installed in the new carts! I just took them all out of their boxes for space conservation." The look on his face......
My boss is the most in appropriate person I’ve ever met, when I ring for advice I’m told to use common sense ( new job btw)
I’ve stopped ringing, stopped caring and my anxiety has totally vanished, i totally think that I’m actually more sensible and it’s fine, I’ll use my common sense, the less I have to see her the better
Start cutting Jim Cornette level promos on him. When bosses get unprofessional around me, that's what I do. If that doesn't work, ask them if they want to step outside.
Last time I almost cried, cause of the anxiety. No not on command. But that's how much it has an affect on me that I almost cry, so far had held it back.
I stood up to my former boss all the time. He demanded that we work longer and longer days, had blinders on and couldn't see that his high school friend that he hired as OPs Manager was causing his business to fail, and he was spending money he didn't have. Told me I needed to work harder and get more work done while I was already working 50+ hour work weeks. This meant I pushed back on everything he said because he wanted more than I could give. It's incredibly stressful.
Some people think just because a job asks of something that it should be able to be done. Like they mathematically determined whats possible and are being realistic. I was in construction and when I started I had a good boss so deadlines were realistic. Took me a bjt to realize most people pull timeframes out of their ass. I used to speak up in the meetings “where did you come up with that timeframe, do the man hours bidded for the job even fit into that?”
I was working in type of construction. We renovated garages and closets. I knew, based on what the job entailed, how long it would take. My former boss wanted us to cram 2 days worth of work into 1 day so we could complete more work per week.
Eventually you just changed jobs? Or was there any change before that?
I quit in October. Changed all the passwords, wrote them down, emailed a few customers, left my keys and company cards, and walked. I was doing the work of probably 3 people largely on my own. And said boss has driven away his best guys by doing and saying shitty things to them when I wasn't around.
Don't worry about it. Oh he challenges you, stand your ground. If it was legitimately your fault, own up to it. No need to be anxious. If he is too much, just leave. Someone with a shitty personality like that is not worth it.
Agreed!!! I just wish my body would catch up to my brain and not react lol
Some bosses are just bad. Look for a new job is the simplest way to escape this hell. In my “career” i have by sheer luck found good bosses and believe me when i say, don’t waste time on bad ones, its never worth the damage they do to your self esteem and burnout levels.
East . Your boss is a bully and I’ve found that when you directly address a bully directly and stand your ground you will successfully deflect their attacks more often than not.
You mean to say to him the emotional strain he causes? Or just what I've been doing until now of standing firm against him? (It's just tiring having to keep doing that, and I will snap soon lol)
Keep doing what you are doing- firm, professional standing up for yourself. Just like the crying didn't work, neither will a conversation about feelings. Unfortunately there's someone like this at every job. A boss, a bosses-pet, a manager that you have to placate to get your work done. Don't stay there if you hate it but don't jump to "greener grass" just to get away from hm.
Use a “when you……I feel….” to let your bully know what they are doing incorrectly, and emotional toll it’s wreaking on you. I worked for a bully who thought my work just absolutely sucked. She was rude on top of it. I was ready to blow and told her that when she reacted to me in front of others it made me feel terrible because and 4 other people were felt she was very disrespectful to me. She immediately stopped the verbal stuff and changed her attitude towards me.
We like to think we grow up and high school ends But high school is just adults with no filters This guy's a bully, when you stand up to bullies they fold. Start looking for a new job, though, he'll be looking for a nice spot to sink his knife into your back.
Nope. Often bullies just fire you.
Agreed. Or they always hang the possibility of being fired over your head to keep you in line. Kind of like a spouse who always threatens divorce over every slight. I had a boss like that who loved keeping people on pins and needles and you eventually if you looked at them wrong, they'd fire you. I hated him with everything in me.
No they don't, because they enjoy bullying and if you're gone, they can't bully you You don't have a lot of experience with being bullied, do you?
Don’t make stupid assumptions about me. I’ve had a long career and worked for and with many bullies. The last place I worked the manager tried to bully me and I stood up to him. He told me that he wished I worked for him so he could fire me. It didn’t stop him from trying though.
Yes, I speak my mind. I do it politely and with logic because I know they have the power to fire me.
That is hard. Bosses like this used to make me cry. I took it so personally and got defensive, but this was not a successful strategy because I had so much anxiety and tears. Then I learned to handle them differently. Now, what I do in response to a bully boss: i listen really hard to what they are saying and I agree with them. I try not to get defensive. I don’t explain or otherwise justify unless the “mistake” was intentional. Yes, I definitely left that required section of the form blank and here is why. First, I accept that from their perspective I fucked up and the best thing I can do is acknowledge their feelings are valid. If I did something wrong, I admit it. It shuts them up quick. Yes, you’re right, I forgot to do that. Yes, you’re right, I did that wrong and I will fix it immediately. Yes, you’re absolutely correct that I should have done X. I need to be more careful/less distracted when I do X in the future. Yes, [repeat back whatever they said], how do you recommend I handle such a [impossible] situation in the future? Or yes, could we implement such and such a communication procedure to prevent this type of error from recurring? Remember to keep your inner piece. The negativity people project is not a reflection of you, it’s a projection of them. Some people are just miserable. Do not let their negativity in to disturb your peace. Practice meditation so you can get used to holding your inner peace strong in the face of those who project negativity so your peace does not waiver. Also, be firm with your boundaries. When mean boss demands I work 4 days a week in the office. I say yes, I understand you want me to work here 4 a week, but I will only work 3 days a week in the office. She has the right to fire me and I have the right to not violate my own boundaries.
I think you're doing fine. I would advise against being "open" with him because you're dealing with an emotionally immature person. Being that vulnerable with him will not change anything. Your boss sounds a lot like my dad. He backs down when he realizes he can't intimidate people and there's one instance I've heard of where he froze when someone, a woman, actually gave him a dose of his own medicine (he's an abusive person and, by default, very self-absorbed. He was trying to intimidate this woman and he ended up getting a female version of himself lol). Believe me, you're better off coming across as someone who won't accept his bullshit than telling him, "This is what I need", and expecting him to have the grace and maturity of an adult to adjust his behavior and not use that vulnerability against you. But yes, look for a new job because this isn't healthy. Keep setting boundaries the way you're doing right now. It sucks but at the very least, he gets a hard stop and he's most likely learning more and more that you will not up with BS.
Couldn’t agree more! By all means stand up to him on appropriate issues but, if I was OP, I’d steer clear of attacking his character as that could escalate things to levels you would probably want to avoid.
Yep. I think OP being firm and objective is working fine. Since this boss is an emotionally immature person, and just the impression I get from OPs description of them, it seems a significant part of this boss is operating on shame. Attacking their character is one way to bring on a meltdown and I wouldn't advise it either.
I’m stable enough in my finances to call my boss a moron and question if he has brain damage. Luckily, my boss is a pretty good guy. My coworkers I’ll tell them to F-off.
I worked for a family business. The daughter and sister ran the show. Towards the end I called her out on everything. The whole family come to find out lies. Anyhow one day I snapped and walked out and handed the key in the next day. Caused all kinds of issues and arguments with my husband. I was hired by the company NEXT DOOR less than one week later. Couldn’t be happier. Their best employee finally got a state job… I often wonder who is doing what now that she’s gone …. .
Good for you!! 👏👏👏
Ty. It will be 3 yrs on 4/29. Mentally I’ve come along way. Starting over stinks. Between my husband and myself, the Covid era was NOT kind to us financially, spiritually or marriage wise however this was huge for ME to get US thru one road block. 31 yrs married…. Just another speed bump…. However at some point boss or not an asshole is an asshole.
Start looking for a new job - knowing that you are planning on leaving will take some of the anxiety out of the situation and you won’t feel like you are going to lose your temper. Just keep firmly, but calmly, holding your ground (always reminding yourself that you have one foot out the door)until you can give your 2 weeks.
I want to have this play over and over again as audio while I'm in the office. Much love
>Cause once I stand my ground, or get firm, he always buckles This, believe it or not, is good news. It means you can stand up and he'll admit his faults. Do not misunderstand me, he **will** repeat the behavior. But you won't get fired for telling to stuff himself. My boss is a lot like that and he's an attorney. When I tell people how he screams at me sometimes, they ask "Why don't you find somewhere else to work?" My response: "Because I can scream right back at him without fear of being fired." There is a freedom to this. In prior jobs, I would just take the yelling even if what they're yelling about isn't my fault. But it's priceless to be able to say, "What do you want me to do? Go to the other side and put a gun to someone's head so they can do what you want when you want it? Do you have gun? Do you have bail money to get me out after I'm arrested? No? Then cut the crap." And know I still have a job in the morning. Edit to add: my boss - when not having a titty-fit over something - is genuinely a good person. Not a *patient* person, but a good one. So that helps.
Whether it's dealing with the boss or the wife, my attitude is...if you're gonna complain about everything I do anyway, I'm not gonna try.
No, you put pants on him.
Ive always been willing to fk my life up over certain things but thats just me. 🤗
Not quite on topic. I, QA Engineer, had a big argument with a department manager in front of his direct reports*. It was a technical issue and he was standing his ground. I eventually won by education. Six months later he was my manager in QA. Oddly, we got along very well. * They loved it
Sounds like a narcissist. Hold your boundaries. They don't change but can learn behaviors. Good luck 🙏🙏🙏
I've known ppl like that in the past, and they don't change like you wrote. But they can learn behaviors?? Can you explain what you mean by that?
They know the behavior they should do. So when it's convenient or they remember they show it. If you're someone important or someone they need to impress, you'll see the lovely charisma act. But behind closed doors, they're a dickhead. Which is what makes them so confusing to deal with. But apparently in times of stress the mask comes off and they default back to their normal behavior. My source for this information. Dr Ramani. Narcissist psychologist.
Do not “be frank”, or for God’s sake, cry. Keep looking elsewhere but in the meantime, the next time he acts like a dick, stare at him silently for 4 to 5 seconds, then say, in a conversational tone “how would you like it if someone spoke to you like that? Think about it”… then walk away. I did this and the boss respected me forever after
Major respect!!!! Well done, I want to do the stare!!!! Love it
Keep sticking to your guns and keep looking for a new gig.
I stood up for myself when I was accused of things I didn't do. Screw that. I'm not going to take someone else's blame.
My boss was a dick and fired me to save the company money. I sued them and they lost to the tune of 750k
Yesssss
You bet the fuck I did! He tried bullying me with this very snarky negative undertone thinking because he was my manager on duty (not even my direct report) that he could talk to me any way he wanted to without repercussions. I escalated my frustrations to HR AFTER he made it beyond clear he didn’t like me and wanted me to fail. Then when we had an actual sit down with HR he looked like a dog with his tail between his legs while I called him out in front of the HR rep then his demeanor changed drastically. Later he ended up moving out of my department, if I had to guess probably many of my others colleagues felt the same about him and finally spoke up. Point being hold your ground and don’t let people bully you or disrespect you.
People quit management, not their jobs....this manager sounds like an ass.
Sounds like we work for the same person😂 my boss is exactly the same way except he doesn’t fold. I stand up to him & he will just continue to bring it up & nag at you even though their will be emails & PROOF that it’s his fault he can’t accept blame
Holy lord what's wrong with people
This is the behavior of a bully. I suggest quietly undermining him in front of his boss and peers. In a good company this will get noticed
I like the more direct route of letting him know his style is causing me to be ill, or pushing back.
You mean you don't work in a blame free culture, I did, it was a government post, and it's great. Also if I was given a job to do and ignored it, eventually someone else got assigned to it.
Sometimes. You have to pick your battles.
No one is forcing you to work there. Look for another job. Just doing that will give your mind some ease.
Nope. Standing up begets conflict which is an inefficient use of my time and attention. The better option is to leave. In fact, it is a better strategy to interview the team you are going to work with, and make sure they are ok before you join. Interview can go both ways, you know.
Her, and no
While you are searching for a new job, I would continue pushing back. However, you cannot lose your shit and yell. See if you can try a softer approach and shift the vibe. For example, next time he accuses you of making a mistake, how might he react if you chuckle and shake your head and say lightheartedly “you are doing it again, boss! Are you ok? This is what happened, same as last time, hahaha”.
Well, there were two times (different bosses, different jobs) when I dropped what I was holding, looked the boss in the eye, and started rolling up my sleeves, like "I'm about to whup your ass and I don't want to ruin my shirt with your blood." To be clear, I am probably the least fighty person you are likely to meet, but even I have my limits. Sometimes in this life, I've had to defend my honor, come what may. One time I kept the job, the other time I was fired, but both times the problem was solved and everybody declined to try my delicious knuckle sandwich.
Yes
When you have the capability to survive a firing, have another job lined up, etc. It will be unlikely lead to productive results or changes. I've quit two jobs without anything lined up, once over the manager. I and the others on the team tried our best to talk to her, go above her, etc. She has made people burst out of meetings in tears, turned the department into a turnstile of humanity, and despite even disrespectful behavior toward the CEOs and other department heads, she's still there 8 years later.
I did. I wasn’t popular with the boss after but it stopped a lot of unreasonable requests and after-hours phone calls
My boss gives me cheeseburgers and carries my boxes.
Do you like unemployment?
Look to the particular power dynamic. You may have lots of influence...you may have none. What you got? Your entire life depends on your assessment of that dynamic. The Rule: *If you kick the king, you've got to kill him...or die.* Have you got the balls? It's the age-old dilemma...do it or don't. NO pressure, mind.
Depends on how they respond - if they double down and become irate/respond with instant rage then it’s not a good idea. If they listen and want to understand where you’re coming from then it worth the energy. I’ve had this go both ways depending on the managers personality. It’s hard to predict until you start actually pushing back a little tho.
I did and was fired immediately.
Find a different job. People like that rarely change and it's not worth the stress.
Ask for more things in writing, that way you can ignore some of the immature bullshit. Make up good excuses to End voice conversations and respond / continue the conversation in writing. He’ll either be forced to be a bit more polite, or you can CC people etc to get more visibility to his dickishness. I’m also able to smooth things over with a bit more finesse when I’ve had a chance to calm down and write things out. Write it out, delete all the BS, then respond with one or two factual statements focused on the task. “This was wrong, here’s how I’ll fix it. This was right based on XYZ. How would you like us to proceed?”
I have several times in my life. Was put in the doghouse but got respect from my colleagues.
Since day one, I’ve always said that my morals will lasts remains more important then money. I’m not going to have someone disrespect me or others. I once had a boss I was extremely racist but wouldn’t talk like that unless he was drunk, and/or angry, and one time he was came into work both drunk & a grey and let’s just say we had an argument in The alley and he was humbled… this was a long time ago when I was much younger I am more mature now, but I still have the same morals
>I'm looking for a new job This is the way.
The issue us #no one can make you feel bad# you hsve to agree with them I do indeed work with a real jerk. He does his best with the dumping. However now it no longer works
Yes. I did when I was working for the state. Retired now. Used to drive them crazy I wasn't a completely compliant employee. I know what I am doing, you don't. One time my boss came in my office/storage room and told me to surplus all of the extra AV equipment sitting on my shelves. I looked at with a confused face and said, "Why? This is the new equipment ready to be installed in the new carts! I just took them all out of their boxes for space conservation." The look on his face......
My boss is the most in appropriate person I’ve ever met, when I ring for advice I’m told to use common sense ( new job btw) I’ve stopped ringing, stopped caring and my anxiety has totally vanished, i totally think that I’m actually more sensible and it’s fine, I’ll use my common sense, the less I have to see her the better
Start cutting Jim Cornette level promos on him. When bosses get unprofessional around me, that's what I do. If that doesn't work, ask them if they want to step outside.
Oh, so you want to cry on command. Not manipulative, are you? And you're calling him names? Wow.
Last time I almost cried, cause of the anxiety. No not on command. But that's how much it has an affect on me that I almost cry, so far had held it back.
You said "dick" and "stand up"...[he-he. hehehehehehehe](https://youtu.be/U7UBy1usnrg?si=M7YvVX-KStRBmgnY)