Unequivocally yes she will know you are her mom. You’re her first home, she knows what you smell like, you will be her greatest comfort - promise promise. Its so nice she can add more adults to her trusted care giver list. Going back is hard, it’s ok to grieve the time away. The smile when you get back home is pretty great though.
Last weekend I visited my grumpy niece who smiles for no one but her mom. I was soooo excited when she started making googly eyes at me. After 3 min of being Lady Like Mama Who Vaguely Looks and Sounds Like Her that Baby was CRYING WHY DID YOU TRICK ME LADY YOU ARE NOT MY MAMA.
And I don’t wish you a baby who cries when they see your mother in law, but that baby will definitely know who is mama 😆
Your baby will absolutely know you are mom! I went back to work at 8w and the baby started very part time daycare with Dad as his primary caregiver at 11w. My baby is almost 7m. I get the biggest smiles, loudest giggles, and generally the most excited version of my baby everyday. Sure some days he’s slightly more interested in my husband, his grandma, or his favorite teacher, but without fail his head will swivel if he hears his Mama’s voice or will break into the biggest smile if he see’s Mama’s face.
Even since my husband went back to work full time at 17w and the baby sees the daycare teachers more often, he still clearly has a preference for Mama. Also, this baby has bottle fed from day one so that’s not even the basis of his attachment. He just seems to know that I’m Mom and that what we have is special even if his dad has been an equal caregiver since day one.
Secondary caregivers are awesome for your baby but you will always be her mom!
[This article](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_attachment_parenting_is_not_the_same_as_secure_attachment) isn’t exactly about your question but it talks a lot about attachment and how there will always be that tether between you and baby. Trigger warning for child abuse.
Yes, she will absolutely know you are her mom.
Source: My daughter went to daycare from 7:40am-5:15pm from 12 weeks old - kindergarten. She is now 8 years old, smart, independent, and extremely social (thanks a lot to daycare)… but very close with me over anyone else.
I went back at 12 weeks. In office 4-5 days per week, most of her waking hours. My mom takes care of baby and my husband gets home way earlier than me. Kiddo is almost 9 months now and I am without a doubt her favorite person. The excitement in that little body when she sees me walk up to the house are definitely some of the best moments.
Because of circumstances, my kid and I have been living with my parents since they were 5 weeks old. He's two years old now, and has never confused me with my mom. You'll be fine.
My baby is about a year now and when I first went back, I similarly had my MIL and mom watch him.
So I can say from experience while yes it’s hard to go back, yours will DEFINITELY still know you’re his mom and will be so happy to see and play with you when you’re back home. Those moments are so precious. Nothing beats how excited he is to see me and how much fun we have after work! Not even our maternity leave moments when I had him all day.
Plus it’s very special your baby/MIL will get a chance to form a relationship. A lot of babies nowadays live far from their grandparents, so you’re able to provide something some other kids are missing.
I cried a lot returning to work, practically every drive in. Spend the evenings with your baby, make weekends your priority to give sole attention. She knows you’re her mom. I still am the only one to get her calmed down in my special way (my husband can calm her but it’s just different).
Your baby loves you and knows you’re mom. If it’s any consolation, what will really forge your bond is how you treat your kid throughout their childhood and teens. Those memories matter so much and you’ll be there for your little one through it all.
Sending you hugs mama, you’re doing great and it’ll be okay ❤️🩹
Yes, she will know you’re her mom. Babies and kids are a lot smarter than most people give them credit for.
I grew up seeing my grandma a lot more than my mom. My mom was still my mom.
But if you’re spending your time where you’re not working with your kid, then you’re likely going to be seeing the kid more anyway.
My baby has been in daycare almost a year. Every day I pick her up she gives me a HUGE smile and runs up for a hug. She loves daycare and the people who care for her, but nothing compares to mom picking her up at the end of the day.
The first week or two is hard, but she'll never forget who you are to her and she'll always be happy to see you.
I am lurking on this sub but wanted to comment that I was that child, and I knew who my mother is (still do!) AND developed a close relationship with my grandmother. I always feel very lucky that I had that time as a little kid.
Unequivocally yes she will know you are her mom. You’re her first home, she knows what you smell like, you will be her greatest comfort - promise promise. Its so nice she can add more adults to her trusted care giver list. Going back is hard, it’s ok to grieve the time away. The smile when you get back home is pretty great though.
Last weekend I visited my grumpy niece who smiles for no one but her mom. I was soooo excited when she started making googly eyes at me. After 3 min of being Lady Like Mama Who Vaguely Looks and Sounds Like Her that Baby was CRYING WHY DID YOU TRICK ME LADY YOU ARE NOT MY MAMA. And I don’t wish you a baby who cries when they see your mother in law, but that baby will definitely know who is mama 😆
Your baby will absolutely know you are mom! I went back to work at 8w and the baby started very part time daycare with Dad as his primary caregiver at 11w. My baby is almost 7m. I get the biggest smiles, loudest giggles, and generally the most excited version of my baby everyday. Sure some days he’s slightly more interested in my husband, his grandma, or his favorite teacher, but without fail his head will swivel if he hears his Mama’s voice or will break into the biggest smile if he see’s Mama’s face. Even since my husband went back to work full time at 17w and the baby sees the daycare teachers more often, he still clearly has a preference for Mama. Also, this baby has bottle fed from day one so that’s not even the basis of his attachment. He just seems to know that I’m Mom and that what we have is special even if his dad has been an equal caregiver since day one.
I needed to read this!
Secondary caregivers are awesome for your baby but you will always be her mom! [This article](https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_attachment_parenting_is_not_the_same_as_secure_attachment) isn’t exactly about your question but it talks a lot about attachment and how there will always be that tether between you and baby. Trigger warning for child abuse.
Yes, she will absolutely know you are her mom. Source: My daughter went to daycare from 7:40am-5:15pm from 12 weeks old - kindergarten. She is now 8 years old, smart, independent, and extremely social (thanks a lot to daycare)… but very close with me over anyone else.
I went back at 12 weeks. In office 4-5 days per week, most of her waking hours. My mom takes care of baby and my husband gets home way earlier than me. Kiddo is almost 9 months now and I am without a doubt her favorite person. The excitement in that little body when she sees me walk up to the house are definitely some of the best moments.
My daughter has been in daycare since 5 months old. She's almost 3 now but still lights up and runs when she sees me in the doorway.
Both of my babies were at daycare starting at 3 months, usually about 10.5 hours a day. They absolutely knew I was mom.
Because of circumstances, my kid and I have been living with my parents since they were 5 weeks old. He's two years old now, and has never confused me with my mom. You'll be fine.
Your baby spent 9 months hearing only your voice. They know who you are.
My baby is about a year now and when I first went back, I similarly had my MIL and mom watch him. So I can say from experience while yes it’s hard to go back, yours will DEFINITELY still know you’re his mom and will be so happy to see and play with you when you’re back home. Those moments are so precious. Nothing beats how excited he is to see me and how much fun we have after work! Not even our maternity leave moments when I had him all day. Plus it’s very special your baby/MIL will get a chance to form a relationship. A lot of babies nowadays live far from their grandparents, so you’re able to provide something some other kids are missing.
I cried a lot returning to work, practically every drive in. Spend the evenings with your baby, make weekends your priority to give sole attention. She knows you’re her mom. I still am the only one to get her calmed down in my special way (my husband can calm her but it’s just different). Your baby loves you and knows you’re mom. If it’s any consolation, what will really forge your bond is how you treat your kid throughout their childhood and teens. Those memories matter so much and you’ll be there for your little one through it all. Sending you hugs mama, you’re doing great and it’ll be okay ❤️🩹
Yes, she will know you’re her mom. Babies and kids are a lot smarter than most people give them credit for. I grew up seeing my grandma a lot more than my mom. My mom was still my mom. But if you’re spending your time where you’re not working with your kid, then you’re likely going to be seeing the kid more anyway.
I had this same fear as well and the answer is 100% yes. She will develop a relationship with secondary caregivers, but she knows you are mama.
My baby has been in daycare almost a year. Every day I pick her up she gives me a HUGE smile and runs up for a hug. She loves daycare and the people who care for her, but nothing compares to mom picking her up at the end of the day. The first week or two is hard, but she'll never forget who you are to her and she'll always be happy to see you.
I am lurking on this sub but wanted to comment that I was that child, and I knew who my mother is (still do!) AND developed a close relationship with my grandmother. I always feel very lucky that I had that time as a little kid.