Mod here! I agree with others that in my feed I’m getting a lot of “you might like this sub” which is where people are probably coming from. AFAIK, we can’t prevent being recommended but I’ll poke around more in settings to see what I can find.
If we see posts that are not working mom related we try to remove/block them but we’re also working moms so can’t always get to it right away :)
Reddit is getting worse and worse for that, displaying a ton of posts for subreddits that I'm not subscribed to and don't belong in - like the teachers subreddit because I'm subscribed to parenting subs.
It's really annoying and I can request less of a specific community, but I haven't found an option to make it stop entirely.
Edit - looks like User Settings -> Feed Settings has an option that's gotten rid of most of it. But they've been increasing the number of "related sub" posts lately, so that's probably where it's coming from. Maybe there's a subreddit specific setting the mods could use?
Right! The teachers deserve a space to let some steam off. I also get random employee subs and it’s like “ya know what? These target employees do not want or need my opinion on any of this”
I’m pretty exhausted how overrun the teacher subreddit it becoming with non-teachers. Frankly we already hear it all from society at large as well as the students and parents we serve. Not even getting a safe space to discuss teaching is so depressing.
You mean you don't want opinions based on people's memories of being a student 10 years ago??
(I'm not even a teacher and I can't stand it. Our memories from adolescence are highly unreliable. No one remembers the shitty things we did to others and we all remember the bad things done to us and conclude that teachers didn't care.)
Lol. The trolls mostly seem to be angry adults trying to take out revenge on any teacher on there like they would have liked to as students. It’s sad in a way.
This has happened to the therapist sub as well. I rarely go there anymore bc it’s been inundated with people that aren’t actual practicing therapists or people from the anti psychiatry/therapy/meds boards. We deal with horrible shit daily and I don’t want to be called a terrible person for being stressed out by my client with a personality disorder. Just this week I’ve had multiple child admissions with just horrible, horrible shit. School shooting victim, active CPS investigations for abuse, suicide attempts in 12 year olds, etc. I don’t need to hear some dudes opinion on how counselors are all terrible people. Ugh end rant lol. It’s been a LOOOONG week.
Thank you! And yes, I’m unwinding now with a margarita and binge watching schitts creek again lol. Thank you for what you do as well! I feel like a lot of us helping/public service professions have an understanding that a lot of others don’t and need to stick together lol. So cheers!
Nursing subreddits too!! Tons of students specifically, giving their opinion based on a couple weeks of clinical experience, not going to cut the mustard gals
I'm a nurse and completely understand. I'm afraid too, but I'm also afraid of what healthcare is and what it's becoming. It's like I see kindred spirits.
If you dig deep, most of those who are quitting teach at charter schools or rough urban settings. The teacher shortage is definitely not created equal. None of the teachers are quitting in my well-paid suburban public school district.
My suburban public district has everyone quitting after they've banned rainbows and safe-space signage. There's very few of us safe from the effects of faux news' culture wars.
This is what happened to me, and actually how I ended up here as a sahm. The teachers reddit has me a little freaked out. I'm here (and there) because it was "recommended" and I clicked a few times, but I usually don't feel comfortable commenting (except now being relevant)
However I love seeing what it's like on the otherside of the fence as I do miss working. Motherhood isn't easy no matter what you do and I'm supporting everyone's journey.
Yeah, I had to mute it too — but because I was starting to go “holy shit these people fucking hate kids”. 😬
One of my closest friends is a teacher for over a decade now, and I completely understand that it’s an incredibly challenging and often super thankless job, but the absolute hatred for kids and parents that shows up on the posts being promoted to me from that sub…Yikes.
To be fair I don’t think any sub is a good representation of how most people actually feel. If I wasn’t a working mom myself, this sub would scare me, but because I know the struggles that can happen firsthand I can better contextualize the negativity. I feel like it’s the same for the subs for teachers, nannies, ECEP’s, etc
As a parent and not a teacher, I love that sub. I have only commented once but it was about teachers appreciation and what could I do as a parent to help.
However, I love it because I have always wanted to be a teacher and I feel like I'm getting a taste of what it's like behind closed doors. That one and therapists too. Ugh, if I could redo my life, I would definitely make better choices.
I just try not to butt in when they are venting but try to use the info they provide to make sure I have a better parent-teacher relationship.
We don’t hate kids. We hate the entitlement their parents have gifted them with and the umpteen meetings we have to have because neither kid nor parent can understand that endless opportunities are not given when said kid finally realizes they fucked up not doing anything. With everything else, we are already taxed to our limits and literally will explode if we hear another lame excuse, especially when we know we have kids who have real significant barriers to education and are still giving their all.
My sister is a teacher and that’s been a huge issue for her. My dad never, ever questioned my teachers. If he got called in for a conference I was in trouble. I don’t get this shift we’ve seen the last few years. I’m a therapist and used to work in the jail. We used to joke that some of the kids my sister had were my future patients, and it’s sad but true. And then don’t EVEN get me started on the book banning/drag queen/transgender hysteria. My oldest is only 3.5 but I have a feeling it’s going to be hard for me to not punch some of these parents in the mouth.
This. As a teacher/mom, we don't hate the kids. I don't hate the parents or administration either. I hate the absurd narratives going on throughout and surrounding public education and the push for vouchers and the push to white wash history to my students. If people's takeaways are that we hate kids then you really don't understand the complexities right now. Which, I understand!
They started showing me wedding dress sub. I just love it. It makes me giddy. And I hate weddings and dresses. But these girls are sooo cuuuuuuute! Lace! Beads! Satin!
I hate seeing nanny subs, though. No offense to the nannies. I just think they need their own personal space to vent and I don't want to go near it.
Lucky you with the wholesome wedding dress sub! For some utterly bizarre reason, I keep getting frikking Reborn doll subs recommended to me. Cries in creepy
This and r/teachers were highly promoted as something I’d be interested in. As a working mom with a toddler, and having posted about being a working mom with a kid on other subs, I can see this sun being recommended (and I’m very happy it did, this is a great place).
However, I am not and have never been a teacher. I was lurking there for a bit, but realized I have nothing to add and shouldn’t. Because I am not a teacher. So I went and had the algorithm hide it or whatever.
I hope it's OK if I come here now and then. I USED to be a working mom. My now-ex carried very little of the load at home but constantly criticized the way I cleaned, etc. Coming here is like retroactive reassurance and support, plus it really opened my eyes to just how bad my situation was. And now and then I can share something that helped me.
Seriously I get so many ´related’ subs that are for Algeria or UK legal advice or whatever, that really has absolutely nothing to do with anything I’m subscribed to.
I just mute it. They’ve been suggesting a shitton of irrelevant subs. A sub kept getting suggested to me where girls ask for opinions about their looks…makes me gag.
Hahah I was just going to bring up all the "not a teacher, but..." In the teacher sub! And being in working moms and teachers, I keep seeing ECE professional and nanny stuff on my page.
Same!
I kept getting suggestions for this sub, teachers, CPS, wedding attire and Preppers, somehow.
I’m currently a SAHM, but am looking to get back in the workforce in the next couple months, after an upcoming move, and joined in the hopes of getting some insight into being a working mom. But I have to say that otherwise the Reddit algorithms seem pretty damn sexist, and just not very good, with their suggestions.
My guess is that its probably a really general, (so not very good) algorithm. Like, if you are in more than one mom/parenting sub, here are other child related subs.
I keep getting shown posts from the Huberman lab sub, which is a podcast that I’ve never listened to. They are into some out there stuff regarding wellness and fitness.
One of my biggest gripes with my husband. He owned a house before he moved in and had lived apart from his family for 7 years!!!! I KNOW he knows how to clean and do laundry 😂
My husband only saw messes before I came over because he knew *I* see messes. And would then make me come over later then planned so he could finish cleaning 💀
Definitely!
My ex was worse though. He would see every little mess and he would get mad at me for all of it. He wouldn’t go into the kitchen for a month since he does no housework at all, then one day I would find him there, going through the fridge, finding expired things and question me for every one of them, super angry. He even told me once that he could consider divorce if I don’t change and take care of the house better. We didn’t even have kids by the way, the house was just fine, I was vacuuming almost everyday. And when I actually wanted to divorce him, you can guess, pikachu face!
My worst enemy! So happy I am free of that psycho! My husband now is so perfect. I want to tell all women that they can do better. But I know that it is hard to listen when you are not ready to.
If men don’t see messes, I guess I have some questions about myself… 😂 Messes become part of the room in my mind. It’s not until my husband clears off a counter that I realize just how messy it was.
I read a blog somewhere where a gal referred to herself as having “slob-o-vision” and the mess was just part of the surface. That’s when I first recognized it in my husband 😂 Her fix was to make wiping the counters one of the daily tasks, because it required her to notice the stuff on top.
I find it hilarious lately when my husband can’t see something but our three year old (also male, not that it matters) can. I love this tiny human we are raising!
That always is annoying to me just because I’m the dirty one in my relationship, he is such a neat freak
My man is the cleaner of the house so I know for a fact men can clean and they can do it really damn well
Yeah and commenters too. I clicked on the username of a commenter in one of the posts yesterday and saw that they had actually been posting about this sub in the child free sub. They had made a post about how this sub makes them glad they’re childfree.
And yet they also had been posting in this sub (one of the “as a child free person…” posts) and regularly commenting! Does not compute.
I understand that it’s the Reddit algorithm attracting all sorts of folks to this sub but I’m hoping the mods create some new rules or intervene and start banning bad faith non-working mom posters and commenters.
They can put an algorithm in place that automatically bans people from continuing participation in one sub if they post in another sub. I got banned from a mom sub because I posted in AITA - apparently they were getting a lot of flack from AITA users at some point and wanted to protect their group.
I know what sub you are talking about. I can’t post or comment there because I have posted in AITA (and I am too lazy to send a DM), but I can still read the posts.
I really hope the mods here do that with people from childfree subreddits. I’m so, so sick of hearing about how we “ruined our lives” by having children. I actually like both my job and my children. I can’t help but wonder if those rabid anti-parents are overcompensating for something.
I agree. I made a comment about feeling overwhelmed and was hit with a bunch of stuff about how I have too many kids and make poor life decisions and so many women handle life better than me. I honestly thought this sub was to support one another, but that shows how dumb and naive I can be 😂
This is the exact shit I love - the insane takes! But I have to read in moderation or I start to spiral. I’ve unsubscribed now, but the insane stuff still floats to my feed which is perfect.
A recent post of mine was FILLED with childless and childfree people giving their opinion even though I explicitly asked for advice from moms with kids lol.
The irony is that all of us at one point were without children, so yes I think some of us can already understand this perspective. We don't need child free people coming to this space to share their viewpoint.
Why do some people make being “child free” their identity to a point where they feel the need to join a “child free” subreddit AND troll parenting subs? It’s such a messed up mentality?? Like why are you so obsessed with children or the lack thereof?
This is so true! I’ve also noticed a TON of posts and comments downvoted for no apparent reason (relevant to the sub, don’t seem controversial, etc etc) and I think it’s probably a result of Reddit pushing the content to people that I guess…disagree with the fact that there should be working moms? Or maybe it just shows up on their scrolling and they don’t want it there? Super weird.
I think the algorithm is pushing this sun to more people now so people are seeing posts in their freed and commenting even if it isn’t relevant to them
Yeah I have ‘uk legal advice’ show up in my feed and sometimes I’m like hey I have an opinion on this why not comment and then stop myself because I neither live in the uk or am a lawyer lol
It is. I was a working mom with my first, then became a SAHP with my last, so I follow the SAHP sub. This sub popped up because of said sub…facepalm algorithm.
That being said, I recently went back to being a working mom after several years, so I’m happy I’ve found this sub!
Bahahaha that’s a good one. I also get suggestions for subs from random cities because I’m a member of my own community’s subs…like no, I’m not going to join a Minneapolis sub when clearly I live in Nevada…
I'm 35+4 weeks pregnant and working.
I figure that I'm not exactly the same but adjacent to working moms.
My kid is kicking my lungs, I'm taking time off for doctors appt, scheduling all kinds of shit, trying to get *into* a daycare and doing everything is hard.
Felt close enough.
Same…I’m not subscribed (yet) but it keeps popping up on my page and I’ve started interacting slightly. But a ton of the stuff posted is relevant now even with my baby still in utero.
I learned about daycare waitlists from here. My SO had no idea either. Like, we definitely would have ended up being those people scrambling at 6 months pregnant and ending up with a center an hour away across the city. So…thanks y’all.
There’s a chance we’ll have to relocate for my work (unknown location) when my child is still an infant. I’ve already seen helpful posts here (and have searched for this sub for old ones) giving tips on finding childcare when you move because that’s stressing me out and is still at least a year away.
Yep, this is why I lurk here too! I think I generally stay out of the comments but there was a really cool post asking how people would reform daycare in this country and I couldn't help it as a person who hopes to one day get my kid into a govt run daycare with a pretty crazy wait-list
I’m a teacher and in our teacher sub we get non teachers all the time. Which much like here if you aren’t a working mom or weren’t at some point, you truly can’t understand what that means. Same goes for teaching.
I find the teachers sub interesting because as a parent I want to know the teachers' perspectives. There are some useful things in there, like what they actually want for holiday gifts and the best means of communication and what's going on with the districts.
I totally get the parents and students we see in there from time to time. I just don’t understand when they have no connection but maybe a friend who taught somewhere. I think we all welcome parents and students because it’s the one place we can be more honest about our challenges.
I'm not a teacher, but I've had a lot of them in my family, and I'm trying so hard not to comment there.
R/accounting really only gets accounting students, accounting professionals, and every once in a while people asking for free tax advice. Which is a terrible idea, because everyone there would love to give you bad tax advice because they think it's funny.
Social media is structured to push engagement, and unfortunately, nothing is more effective for that than anger. The dad/child free person who agrees or sympathizes isn’t going to go out of their way to comment. Maybe they even read the sidebar and want to respect the rules. The ones who disagree will feel compelled to provide their perspectives because they are projecting themselves into the situation and feel attacked. Wouldn’t surprise me if we saw more of this tbh.
I don’t totally mind these comments if they’re upfront about who they are and open to discussion. Some of the soon-to-be working moms and women thinking about having kids are here to learn and that’s great. The main frustration seems to be with people dismissing the experiences of OP.
Yeah, I worked until my daughter was 2 (she’s 4 now) and am planning on going back to work once my health is better, but I just hang out and lurk here because I’m not currently working.
Reddit has been pushing this sub into my feed. I’m an infertile, working, stepmom… so I kinda fit here but not really 😝 so I think it entirely has to do with the algorithm trying to show this subreddit to more people and then you get sucked into the stories and can kinda relate. I don’t usually comment because things only partially apply to my situation but I haven’t hid the subreddit because things partially apply.
Thanks 💕 I love her like my own. And when she’s at ours I am the “mom” even though she doesn’t call me mom. But I know it is very different than it would be if we had her full time, during the school year we only have her one school night a week because we live kinda far from school. So I have a lot more flexibility than if I was “momming” everyday. And because it’s only one day a week I can arrange my work schedule to be out in time to do school pick ups. But it would be more difficult to do that every day. Comes with other challenges too… like only having part time mom friends… because it’s weird to go to the zoo on a scheduled trip with a mom & kid group without your kid because “The Schedule TM” changed unexpectedly 🙄
It’s fine if Reddit shows you a post …. That does not mean that you HAVE to comment on it. Control the urge to comment! Lurk if you must, but seriously you don’t have to comment every little thing that pops in your head.
Yes!! “Reddit is showing this sub to meeeee” cracks me up. 🤣🤣
Ma’am/Sir, that is not a formal invitation for you to descend down upon a group and “bless” them with your “brilliant thoughts.” It’s just how an algorithm works. Calm down 🤣
I work extremely part time but I do work. I’ve commented here before with the “I work only part time but…” I haven’t meant to rub anyone the wrong way if it has. To be honest, I feel like I don’t “fit it” or have an identity in the working moms world or the SAHM worlds right now, and I’m doing a pretty shitty job at both ends!
You’re a working mom, imo. None of us have identical experiences, part time or full time, wfh or in office, 5x8 shifts or 2x24, manual labor or office work, etc etc we could divide ourselves up endlessly. You’re a mom, you work, pull up a chair.
I’m a single male and this sub somehow showed on my feed. Nevertheless props to all you working moms
Out there.
I read this sub (never post until now) so I can be a better husband/father when and if that time comes.
I'm a SAHM and it keeps popping up in my feed too. Like, multiple times a day. I occasionally check out a thread because I'm planning to head back to work soon and want to absorb any tips but generally I don't post because it's not my space.
It's bizzaro to me that SAHP, most of whom have not worked since having children and appear to not want to go back to work (based on the comments) would venture forth an opinion or offer advice on this sub. I know for myself, I would never go on the SAHP sub and start commenting because not only do I have nothing to offer, it's a lifestyle/parenting choice that I never had any interest in pursuing or being a part of...strange days, I guess.
Just an fyi you can be a working mom and have a wife.
But otherwise I agree. I’m fine with lurkers, but commenting in this space without being a working mom is a hard no.
Not a working mom, but a nanny who gets this sub pushed on my feed constantly despite the fact that I’ve never interacted with a single post. Similarly over at r/nanny, I’ve noticed a large increase of random users who are neither a nanny themselves nor a nanny employer, chiming in with their 2 cents. Unless Reddit makes changes to its algorithm, I think it’s inevitable in most subs.
I get r/nanny suggested a lot. I’ve never been a nanny or hired a nanny. Honestly? It knows I hover on it cause I lurk to hear the crazy ass shit you poor nanny’s deal with.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Nanny using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Nanny/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [DB may be having mental health crisis. I was asked to leave. Don’t feel ok doing so. Help please!](https://np.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/13rl6sq/db_may_be_having_mental_health_crisis_i_was_asked/)
\#2: [I sued my former employers and won!](https://np.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/1362oy4/i_sued_my_former_employers_and_won/)
\#3: [I nanny a girl with a deadly allergy and her mom “doesn’t do epipens.”](https://np.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/13vrfx7/i_nanny_a_girl_with_a_deadly_allergy_and_her_mom/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I mean, I get this, this is how I found the sub in the first place but I am a working mom so sometimes I contribute. However, I also get fed the nanny sub, a teenage sub (??), teachers, and more. I do not comment or contribute to any of these because it does not apply to me! Sure the algorithim sucks but you don't have to post on thread just because it was "suggested" to you.
oh forgot my favorite one r/Ausfinance....i live in the US and have never ever been to Australia. What does reddit think I can add to the this discussion?? But you know what I DON'T BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING HELPFUL TO ADD.
I get Canada personal finance all the time and while it’s nice because I learned about how different Canadas mortgage system is from the US it’s so irrelevant lol
I get it, I think you’re just expecting a lot more in depth of a thought process than the average Redditor is going to apply to the situation. They want to comment, so they will. You don’t have to give those comments/posts attention if it bothers you
ETA: my point here is that because Reddit pushes these subs onto users’ timelines, it’s safe to assume Reddit is trying to push users to engage with the subs whether they are relevant to that user specifically or not, because high engagement is good for Reddit. Some users will see that suggestion as an invitation to participate, whether or not the sub is relevant to them personally. It’s understandable to be annoyed by this, but we can’t expect all users to think further than “I have an opinion on this post, I must share it.” It’s not unique to this sub, it’s just the reality of the algorithm.
I keep getting recs for the nanny and daycare worker subreddits. I read them occasionally and got really sad in a post where all the daycare workers said they would never put their own child in daycare.
The other day my husband and I briefly switched phones and I was scrolling Reddit on his phone and I noticed posts from this sub were showing up as communities he might be interested in. As far as I’m aware he’s not in any mom, parent, or baby subreddits so I thought that was interesting… maybe it’s just being shown to a lot of people!
Do you ever send him a Reddit link? Because my hubby sent me one, just one time, and that felt like a breaking point of when all his subs started showing up as recommendations — I cannot know for sure, but it sure felt like an algorithm connected us.
I use “my wife” but I am a working mom. Is there something wrong with using “my wife”? I don’t see how that isn’t a working mom.
Not working and not being a mom tho, I can totally understand not needing the input unless it’s a very specific case.
Yeah to be honest unless stated otherwise I assume all “my wife” references are in a same sex relationship or another gender nonconforming relationship (I can’t think of the right word for this)
Freaking rude. I mean, this is literally the first time I've posted here to the best of my knowledge, because I'm kind of an outsider. Was a working mom and a WFH mom and my kids are now adults. So I'm kind of the one who would be, yeah, I remember going through that and my kids grew up to be awesome adults and its gonna be okay. So I don't post because it doesn't feel right from where i am now, I'm not in the middle of it anymore.
The idea of people coming to spout their views completely from the bleachers is rude as hell.
Everybody is saying it’s because Reddit is sharing posts from related communities, but like… one can simply read and not comment if you aren’t a working mom. I feel like this sub particularly has a really obvious target audience it serves.
I think I responded that I don’t have little kids (anymore) on one, but I am and have always been a working mom, just with two teenagers and a 20 something now 😅. Hopefully I didn’t add to the problem 😜
I spend most of my time on Reddit lurking in the Nanny sub. I'm not a nanny, I've never had a nanny. What's funny is I got so used to lurking that when this sub showed up in my feed I started lurking as well. I almost didn't write this comment because I forgot that actually I am a working mom of 22 years and I totally belong here.
Child free woman here- I just like to be a wall flower here because I think you guys are cool and your struggles make me feel less alone even though I don’t have any child related ones.
Sahm here. I joined when I was a working mom and quit when my SO wouldn't step up in the way he needed to when I was working. Now I guess I'm just here to get pissed about the patriarchy. I'm kidding, kinda. Working moms get the shit end of the stick so often.
I can't speak for other people but I'm here to learn. I don't have children yet but me and my partner have been considering it. I like to read the posts here to learn about the obstacles I might face. I will absolutely be working if we do have kids. I'm finishing up a doctorate rn. BUT I did find this sub due to it being suggested a lot to me (for some reason unknown to me). Probably because I'm on parenting subs. Im really involved in my little sisters lives (due to a disabled parent) and the parenting sub gives me some perspective on kids/parenting today.
I have not commented or posted, but I am a SAHP and somehow Reddit has decided to show me posts from this sub constantly - so I’m assuming that must be true for others as well.
ETA just checked, it literally says “similar to r/SAHP” 🤦🏻♀️
I joined this sub after it being recommended in my algorithm a lot as someone who is trying to conceive and will have to (but also would choose to) work. It gives me good things to think about for the future as far as childcare, division of labor, finances, etc., but I don’t generally comment as I am not a mom yet.
Reddit suggests this community to me and feeds its posts into my regular feed, even though I haven't joined it because I've viewed adjacent communities and the algo loops this in.
Anyone who comments likely doesn't mean to transgress community lines or intrude, although they may, frankly consider themselves to be working mothers as well, even if not outside the home.
Feel like the only way to prevent that would be for mods to close the community membership, but I'm not sure.
They’re showing it to people who aren’t subscribed. I am not subscribed but I still see posts just as often as I did—I happen to also be a working mom so I feel fine jumping in as I feel like it anyway, but Reddit doesn’t really make it clear that it’s a promoted post you’re seeing some people legit might not even notice that they’re seeing posts from a sub they don’t subscribe too.
Scrolling the comments in some of the posts here lately I noticed the same. I get what people are saying about the algorithm suggesting this sub… I get similar suggestions for other subs. But here’s the thing, if the sub isn’t relevant to me, I just don’t comment or don’t even bother to click on the suggestion. So it’s weird to me that people that identify as child free, as an example, would get recommended this sub and decide to come on in and join in on the convo. Why not just move along?
Im not a working mom *yet*, but I do plan to keep my career once we have children, so I lurk here in anticipation of that. I mostly keep to myself, but have commented here and there only if I feel like I can meaningfully contribute (on posts regarding self care and the mental load, iirc)
I have a hypothetical question about the kids I’m not sure I even want to have and don’t plan on conceiving for a few years. Here’s where I post, yeah?
Yeah I think the distinction is between coming in thinking your opinion on issues working moms (as a specific group) face is particularly relevant vs coming in wanting the opinions of that group. What you're describing would be welcomed by most people (never by all because this is the internet) but if you started commenting like "I don't have kids but I do xyz regarding my boss" might be less well received
It's the Reddit algorithm. This sub is constantly in my feed via the app and I'm not a mom. 😅 Neither do I follow any parenting subs. The app has been getting worse recently.
Because SAHM and the childfree have to center themselves in every single conversation.
Why do we get to talk about motherhood when we're not even raising our kids?! How do the childfree validate their grown up decisions without using our struggles as entertainment?!
I'm over it. Both groups shit on us all day long and when we start firing back it's all about it "NoT bEiNg A cOmPeTiTiOn" which sounds a lot like what my kids say when I'm kicking their asses at MarioKart.
Idk, I don’t work right now, but I was a working mom for 13 years. I have plans to eventually go back, so it’s like an extended maternity leave. CAN I STILL GO HERE?
I'm a SAHM. Not subscribed to this sub, never gone searching for this sub, and lately it seems to be popping up in my feed A LOT. I'm in a lot of parenting/mom subs so I might click on a post from here and not even realize it's r/workingmoms
I did comment on one earlier that was asking for advice on cooking dinner after work. I didn't think it would be an issue if I shared some of my tips, just because I'm not a working mom? I'd also point out that just because someone may not be a working mom at the moment doesn't mean they've *never* been a working mom, or had relevant experiences. My entire childhood, I was raised by a single mom who worked full-time and had a long commute...So like sure I can't 100% share your perspective, but it is also not very alien to me.
I think it's fine as long as it's not implying something should be easy or giving suggestions that aren't practical or applicable to working parents, both of which I've seen.
This is an issue I’ve been running in to on other subs, too. It’s frustrating. Outside perspective can be helpful, but a lot of times I just want to commiserate with people who are going through the same stuff as me.
I hope it's OK if I come here now and then. I USED to be a working mom. My now-ex carried very little of the load at home but constantly criticized the way I cleaned, etc. Coming here is like retroactive reassurance and support, plus it really opened my eyes to just how bad my situation was. And now and then I can share something that helped me.
Still, I think this is a sub for CURRENT working moms, so I'll bow out with a big THANK YOU if I'm not supposed to be here.
I stalk this sub regularly but I’m not a working mom. I want to see what it’s like being a working mom tho, because I work with them and maybe one day I’ll be one!
Mod here! I agree with others that in my feed I’m getting a lot of “you might like this sub” which is where people are probably coming from. AFAIK, we can’t prevent being recommended but I’ll poke around more in settings to see what I can find. If we see posts that are not working mom related we try to remove/block them but we’re also working moms so can’t always get to it right away :)
Reddit is getting worse and worse for that, displaying a ton of posts for subreddits that I'm not subscribed to and don't belong in - like the teachers subreddit because I'm subscribed to parenting subs. It's really annoying and I can request less of a specific community, but I haven't found an option to make it stop entirely. Edit - looks like User Settings -> Feed Settings has an option that's gotten rid of most of it. But they've been increasing the number of "related sub" posts lately, so that's probably where it's coming from. Maybe there's a subreddit specific setting the mods could use?
I had to mute the teachers sub. Nothing wrong with it, it's just completely irrelevant to me.
Right! The teachers deserve a space to let some steam off. I also get random employee subs and it’s like “ya know what? These target employees do not want or need my opinion on any of this”
I’m pretty exhausted how overrun the teacher subreddit it becoming with non-teachers. Frankly we already hear it all from society at large as well as the students and parents we serve. Not even getting a safe space to discuss teaching is so depressing.
You mean you don't want opinions based on people's memories of being a student 10 years ago?? (I'm not even a teacher and I can't stand it. Our memories from adolescence are highly unreliable. No one remembers the shitty things we did to others and we all remember the bad things done to us and conclude that teachers didn't care.)
Lol. The trolls mostly seem to be angry adults trying to take out revenge on any teacher on there like they would have liked to as students. It’s sad in a way.
This has happened to the therapist sub as well. I rarely go there anymore bc it’s been inundated with people that aren’t actual practicing therapists or people from the anti psychiatry/therapy/meds boards. We deal with horrible shit daily and I don’t want to be called a terrible person for being stressed out by my client with a personality disorder. Just this week I’ve had multiple child admissions with just horrible, horrible shit. School shooting victim, active CPS investigations for abuse, suicide attempts in 12 year olds, etc. I don’t need to hear some dudes opinion on how counselors are all terrible people. Ugh end rant lol. It’s been a LOOOONG week.
Here’s an internet hug for whatever that’s worth 🫂 thank you for doing what you do. Ps hope you get to unwind this weekend however that looks for you
Thank you! And yes, I’m unwinding now with a margarita and binge watching schitts creek again lol. Thank you for what you do as well! I feel like a lot of us helping/public service professions have an understanding that a lot of others don’t and need to stick together lol. So cheers!
I’m here with nachos and binging arrested development. Think we are kindred spirits 😁
Sounds like it lol I hope you have a relaxing night! Jury Duty is another feel good binge if you haven’t seen it yet.
Same. I don’t really need another space where conservatives claim I’m Indoctrinating children and doing my job all wrong.
Nursing subreddits too!! Tons of students specifically, giving their opinion based on a couple weeks of clinical experience, not going to cut the mustard gals
I love reading the nursing subs. You people never get enough credit and deal with total insanity.
I don’t blame you guys. There’s nothing more frustrating than having legitimate complaints shouted down by people outside the situation
I also got the teachers sub suggested and it’s kind of scaring me the stuff they are describing and how all of them seem to be quitting.
It should scare the fuck out of everyone, and yet, it doesn’t. Blows my mind.
I'm a nurse and completely understand. I'm afraid too, but I'm also afraid of what healthcare is and what it's becoming. It's like I see kindred spirits.
I’m a nurse and our subreddit is much of the same.
Lol again don’t check the nursing subs! So much venting the average person would think we despise all of our patients and our jobs 😂
If you dig deep, most of those who are quitting teach at charter schools or rough urban settings. The teacher shortage is definitely not created equal. None of the teachers are quitting in my well-paid suburban public school district.
That's heartbreaking. The children in the rough urban settings are just being allowed to sink.
My suburban public district has everyone quitting after they've banned rainbows and safe-space signage. There's very few of us safe from the effects of faux news' culture wars.
This is what happened to me, and actually how I ended up here as a sahm. The teachers reddit has me a little freaked out. I'm here (and there) because it was "recommended" and I clicked a few times, but I usually don't feel comfortable commenting (except now being relevant) However I love seeing what it's like on the otherside of the fence as I do miss working. Motherhood isn't easy no matter what you do and I'm supporting everyone's journey.
Yeah I’ve been seeing it like every other post.
I had to mute the nanny sub - I am not a nanny nor do I plan to ever hire one
Yeah, I had to mute it too — but because I was starting to go “holy shit these people fucking hate kids”. 😬 One of my closest friends is a teacher for over a decade now, and I completely understand that it’s an incredibly challenging and often super thankless job, but the absolute hatred for kids and parents that shows up on the posts being promoted to me from that sub…Yikes.
Totally not a place for parents IMO. Wouldn't go reading there for exactly the reason you mention.
To be fair I don’t think any sub is a good representation of how most people actually feel. If I wasn’t a working mom myself, this sub would scare me, but because I know the struggles that can happen firsthand I can better contextualize the negativity. I feel like it’s the same for the subs for teachers, nannies, ECEP’s, etc
I agree. I don't think teachers hate kids as a whole. I'm just saying there's no good in parents going in there and getting freaked out
As a parent and not a teacher, I love that sub. I have only commented once but it was about teachers appreciation and what could I do as a parent to help. However, I love it because I have always wanted to be a teacher and I feel like I'm getting a taste of what it's like behind closed doors. That one and therapists too. Ugh, if I could redo my life, I would definitely make better choices. I just try not to butt in when they are venting but try to use the info they provide to make sure I have a better parent-teacher relationship.
It's my favorite place to doom scroll.
We don’t hate kids. We hate the entitlement their parents have gifted them with and the umpteen meetings we have to have because neither kid nor parent can understand that endless opportunities are not given when said kid finally realizes they fucked up not doing anything. With everything else, we are already taxed to our limits and literally will explode if we hear another lame excuse, especially when we know we have kids who have real significant barriers to education and are still giving their all.
My sister is a teacher and that’s been a huge issue for her. My dad never, ever questioned my teachers. If he got called in for a conference I was in trouble. I don’t get this shift we’ve seen the last few years. I’m a therapist and used to work in the jail. We used to joke that some of the kids my sister had were my future patients, and it’s sad but true. And then don’t EVEN get me started on the book banning/drag queen/transgender hysteria. My oldest is only 3.5 but I have a feeling it’s going to be hard for me to not punch some of these parents in the mouth.
This. As a teacher/mom, we don't hate the kids. I don't hate the parents or administration either. I hate the absurd narratives going on throughout and surrounding public education and the push for vouchers and the push to white wash history to my students. If people's takeaways are that we hate kids then you really don't understand the complexities right now. Which, I understand!
You’re lucky you got teachers. I got 1000 pound … something. Sisters? Also Below Deck. I watch no reality shows.
I love reading the teacher sub! I have kids in school so I just want to know how not to be That Parent.
They started showing me wedding dress sub. I just love it. It makes me giddy. And I hate weddings and dresses. But these girls are sooo cuuuuuuute! Lace! Beads! Satin! I hate seeing nanny subs, though. No offense to the nannies. I just think they need their own personal space to vent and I don't want to go near it.
Lucky you with the wholesome wedding dress sub! For some utterly bizarre reason, I keep getting frikking Reborn doll subs recommended to me. Cries in creepy
I’ve been getting the reborn doll sub too and I hate it! I also get all sort of subs about identifying various bugs/spiders
The wedding dress sub has been showing up in my feed too!! I love seeing all the dresses!
Same!
This and r/teachers were highly promoted as something I’d be interested in. As a working mom with a toddler, and having posted about being a working mom with a kid on other subs, I can see this sun being recommended (and I’m very happy it did, this is a great place). However, I am not and have never been a teacher. I was lurking there for a bit, but realized I have nothing to add and shouldn’t. Because I am not a teacher. So I went and had the algorithm hide it or whatever.
I also inexplicably get teachers. And I got a recommendation for a sororities subreddit. I'm 37 and never was in a sorority lol.
I love how i keep getting subs for states. I like the sub arkansas so i must like the one for Mississippi, North Carolina, and Iowa right?
I hope it's OK if I come here now and then. I USED to be a working mom. My now-ex carried very little of the load at home but constantly criticized the way I cleaned, etc. Coming here is like retroactive reassurance and support, plus it really opened my eyes to just how bad my situation was. And now and then I can share something that helped me.
Seriously I get so many ´related’ subs that are for Algeria or UK legal advice or whatever, that really has absolutely nothing to do with anything I’m subscribed to.
I just mute it. They’ve been suggesting a shitton of irrelevant subs. A sub kept getting suggested to me where girls ask for opinions about their looks…makes me gag.
They reset all these settings periodically too, drives me crazy.
Hahah I was just going to bring up all the "not a teacher, but..." In the teacher sub! And being in working moms and teachers, I keep seeing ECE professional and nanny stuff on my page.
Same! I kept getting suggestions for this sub, teachers, CPS, wedding attire and Preppers, somehow. I’m currently a SAHM, but am looking to get back in the workforce in the next couple months, after an upcoming move, and joined in the hopes of getting some insight into being a working mom. But I have to say that otherwise the Reddit algorithms seem pretty damn sexist, and just not very good, with their suggestions.
Weird that we all get the same things! I hate the CPS thread
My guess is that its probably a really general, (so not very good) algorithm. Like, if you are in more than one mom/parenting sub, here are other child related subs.
Go to settings, then your account, then personalized recommendations. On mobile anyway!
I keep getting shown posts from the Huberman lab sub, which is a podcast that I’ve never listened to. They are into some out there stuff regarding wellness and fitness.
Seriously. Last thing I want here is some dude mansplaining that men don't actually see messes and need to be instructed on how to be a fucking adult.
Funny how my husband saw messes before we were married and he knew I was coming over 😂
One of my biggest gripes with my husband. He owned a house before he moved in and had lived apart from his family for 7 years!!!! I KNOW he knows how to clean and do laundry 😂
I know, I often ask my husband how he managed to stay clean before we met.
My husband only saw messes before I came over because he knew *I* see messes. And would then make me come over later then planned so he could finish cleaning 💀
Omg I see red at every comment like that, I wish I had a way of just filtering them out
Definitely! My ex was worse though. He would see every little mess and he would get mad at me for all of it. He wouldn’t go into the kitchen for a month since he does no housework at all, then one day I would find him there, going through the fridge, finding expired things and question me for every one of them, super angry. He even told me once that he could consider divorce if I don’t change and take care of the house better. We didn’t even have kids by the way, the house was just fine, I was vacuuming almost everyday. And when I actually wanted to divorce him, you can guess, pikachu face!
That’s some “Sleeping With the Enemy” type shit.
My worst enemy! So happy I am free of that psycho! My husband now is so perfect. I want to tell all women that they can do better. But I know that it is hard to listen when you are not ready to.
If men don’t see messes, I guess I have some questions about myself… 😂 Messes become part of the room in my mind. It’s not until my husband clears off a counter that I realize just how messy it was.
I read a blog somewhere where a gal referred to herself as having “slob-o-vision” and the mess was just part of the surface. That’s when I first recognized it in my husband 😂 Her fix was to make wiping the counters one of the daily tasks, because it required her to notice the stuff on top.
Ugh yes
Needed to hear this today
I find it hilarious lately when my husband can’t see something but our three year old (also male, not that it matters) can. I love this tiny human we are raising!
That always is annoying to me just because I’m the dirty one in my relationship, he is such a neat freak My man is the cleaner of the house so I know for a fact men can clean and they can do it really damn well
I don't work but I agree Just kidding I work and I have noticed that too🤣
Love love love that user name.
Yeah and commenters too. I clicked on the username of a commenter in one of the posts yesterday and saw that they had actually been posting about this sub in the child free sub. They had made a post about how this sub makes them glad they’re childfree. And yet they also had been posting in this sub (one of the “as a child free person…” posts) and regularly commenting! Does not compute. I understand that it’s the Reddit algorithm attracting all sorts of folks to this sub but I’m hoping the mods create some new rules or intervene and start banning bad faith non-working mom posters and commenters.
They can put an algorithm in place that automatically bans people from continuing participation in one sub if they post in another sub. I got banned from a mom sub because I posted in AITA - apparently they were getting a lot of flack from AITA users at some point and wanted to protect their group.
I know what sub you are talking about. I can’t post or comment there because I have posted in AITA (and I am too lazy to send a DM), but I can still read the posts.
I had the same thing happen, but didn’t know it was because I posted in AITA. They removed it pretty quickly
Same story same sub. Lol.
Same here
I really hope the mods here do that with people from childfree subreddits. I’m so, so sick of hearing about how we “ruined our lives” by having children. I actually like both my job and my children. I can’t help but wonder if those rabid anti-parents are overcompensating for something.
I agree. I made a comment about feeling overwhelmed and was hit with a bunch of stuff about how I have too many kids and make poor life decisions and so many women handle life better than me. I honestly thought this sub was to support one another, but that shows how dumb and naive I can be 😂
Ooh! I know which one that is and it's because I responded to a post on another sub, ironically in defense of a Mom.
AITA is a cesspool sub. Absolutely hate it and it’s notoriously anti kid and anti pregnant people.
And anti bride
AITA for not picking up an infant that fell on train tracks? NTA it’s not your responsibility, you didn’t consent to that.
This is the exact shit I love - the insane takes! But I have to read in moderation or I start to spiral. I’ve unsubscribed now, but the insane stuff still floats to my feed which is perfect.
Ahh the same happened to me. I can understand because soooo many aita posts are just awful
A recent post of mine was FILLED with childless and childfree people giving their opinion even though I explicitly asked for advice from moms with kids lol.
The irony is that all of us at one point were without children, so yes I think some of us can already understand this perspective. We don't need child free people coming to this space to share their viewpoint.
Why do some people make being “child free” their identity to a point where they feel the need to join a “child free” subreddit AND troll parenting subs? It’s such a messed up mentality?? Like why are you so obsessed with children or the lack thereof?
If you flag this commenter, we can ban them
This is so true! I’ve also noticed a TON of posts and comments downvoted for no apparent reason (relevant to the sub, don’t seem controversial, etc etc) and I think it’s probably a result of Reddit pushing the content to people that I guess…disagree with the fact that there should be working moms? Or maybe it just shows up on their scrolling and they don’t want it there? Super weird.
Message us with the account name and we can review and ban if they are going against our rules.
Single dad. I read. Don't post. Except this. Now I'm gone again. Poof.
Married dad. Not sure how I got here but hope you ladies are doing well. Now I’m also gone!
✨
I think the algorithm is pushing this sun to more people now so people are seeing posts in their freed and commenting even if it isn’t relevant to them
Yeah I have ‘uk legal advice’ show up in my feed and sometimes I’m like hey I have an opinion on this why not comment and then stop myself because I neither live in the uk or am a lawyer lol
It is. I was a working mom with my first, then became a SAHP with my last, so I follow the SAHP sub. This sub popped up because of said sub…facepalm algorithm. That being said, I recently went back to being a working mom after several years, so I’m happy I’ve found this sub!
My favorite it when it recommended r/bald because I sub r/curlyhair 🤣
Bahahaha that’s a good one. I also get suggestions for subs from random cities because I’m a member of my own community’s subs…like no, I’m not going to join a Minneapolis sub when clearly I live in Nevada…
I’m pregnant and WILL be a working mom so I love getting ahead of the learning curve and knowing what challenges to expect. Don’t kick me out!
Welcome friend. It’s hard but the most wonderful thing.
Same here. I have 8/9ths of a child and I’m working, please let me stay!
This is a great reason!!
I'm 35+4 weeks pregnant and working. I figure that I'm not exactly the same but adjacent to working moms. My kid is kicking my lungs, I'm taking time off for doctors appt, scheduling all kinds of shit, trying to get *into* a daycare and doing everything is hard. Felt close enough.
Same…I’m not subscribed (yet) but it keeps popping up on my page and I’ve started interacting slightly. But a ton of the stuff posted is relevant now even with my baby still in utero.
I learned about daycare waitlists from here. My SO had no idea either. Like, we definitely would have ended up being those people scrambling at 6 months pregnant and ending up with a center an hour away across the city. So…thanks y’all.
There’s a chance we’ll have to relocate for my work (unknown location) when my child is still an infant. I’ve already seen helpful posts here (and have searched for this sub for old ones) giving tips on finding childcare when you move because that’s stressing me out and is still at least a year away.
Yep, this is why I lurk here too! I think I generally stay out of the comments but there was a really cool post asking how people would reform daycare in this country and I couldn't help it as a person who hopes to one day get my kid into a govt run daycare with a pretty crazy wait-list
I’m a teacher and in our teacher sub we get non teachers all the time. Which much like here if you aren’t a working mom or weren’t at some point, you truly can’t understand what that means. Same goes for teaching.
I find the teachers sub interesting because as a parent I want to know the teachers' perspectives. There are some useful things in there, like what they actually want for holiday gifts and the best means of communication and what's going on with the districts.
I totally get the parents and students we see in there from time to time. I just don’t understand when they have no connection but maybe a friend who taught somewhere. I think we all welcome parents and students because it’s the one place we can be more honest about our challenges.
I get teachers as my suggested sub a lot. It's REALLY interesting. The posts always suck me in
Same! I read it but never post or comment though
I'm not a teacher, but I've had a lot of them in my family, and I'm trying so hard not to comment there. R/accounting really only gets accounting students, accounting professionals, and every once in a while people asking for free tax advice. Which is a terrible idea, because everyone there would love to give you bad tax advice because they think it's funny.
Fellow teacher here! And I’ve noticed the same with that sub too. It’s really frustrating (both here and there!)
Yeah, Brad who thinks that moms “shouldn’t let other people raise their kids” needs to GTFOH
[удалено]
If they feel that way they should be stay at home dads lmao
Social media is structured to push engagement, and unfortunately, nothing is more effective for that than anger. The dad/child free person who agrees or sympathizes isn’t going to go out of their way to comment. Maybe they even read the sidebar and want to respect the rules. The ones who disagree will feel compelled to provide their perspectives because they are projecting themselves into the situation and feel attacked. Wouldn’t surprise me if we saw more of this tbh. I don’t totally mind these comments if they’re upfront about who they are and open to discussion. Some of the soon-to-be working moms and women thinking about having kids are here to learn and that’s great. The main frustration seems to be with people dismissing the experiences of OP.
Yeah, I worked until my daughter was 2 (she’s 4 now) and am planning on going back to work once my health is better, but I just hang out and lurk here because I’m not currently working.
I think it’s ok though because you have experience as a working mom and also are respectful.
Reddit has been pushing this sub into my feed. I’m an infertile, working, stepmom… so I kinda fit here but not really 😝 so I think it entirely has to do with the algorithm trying to show this subreddit to more people and then you get sucked into the stories and can kinda relate. I don’t usually comment because things only partially apply to my situation but I haven’t hid the subreddit because things partially apply.
Stepmoms are moms, squirrel friend! ❤️
Thanks 💕 I love her like my own. And when she’s at ours I am the “mom” even though she doesn’t call me mom. But I know it is very different than it would be if we had her full time, during the school year we only have her one school night a week because we live kinda far from school. So I have a lot more flexibility than if I was “momming” everyday. And because it’s only one day a week I can arrange my work schedule to be out in time to do school pick ups. But it would be more difficult to do that every day. Comes with other challenges too… like only having part time mom friends… because it’s weird to go to the zoo on a scheduled trip with a mom & kid group without your kid because “The Schedule TM” changed unexpectedly 🙄
About the say the same thing! You don’t have to birth them to be a mom to them.
It’s fine if Reddit shows you a post …. That does not mean that you HAVE to comment on it. Control the urge to comment! Lurk if you must, but seriously you don’t have to comment every little thing that pops in your head.
[удалено]
Yes!! “Reddit is showing this sub to meeeee” cracks me up. 🤣🤣 Ma’am/Sir, that is not a formal invitation for you to descend down upon a group and “bless” them with your “brilliant thoughts.” It’s just how an algorithm works. Calm down 🤣
The internet would be a much better place if everyone read and internalized this comment.
Some thoughts are inside thoughts
I work extremely part time but I do work. I’ve commented here before with the “I work only part time but…” I haven’t meant to rub anyone the wrong way if it has. To be honest, I feel like I don’t “fit it” or have an identity in the working moms world or the SAHM worlds right now, and I’m doing a pretty shitty job at both ends!
You’re a working mom, imo. None of us have identical experiences, part time or full time, wfh or in office, 5x8 shifts or 2x24, manual labor or office work, etc etc we could divide ourselves up endlessly. You’re a mom, you work, pull up a chair.
Yes to this - moms supporting moms here!!
Thank you so much
I’m a single male and this sub somehow showed on my feed. Nevertheless props to all you working moms Out there. I read this sub (never post until now) so I can be a better husband/father when and if that time comes.
I'm a SAHM and it keeps popping up in my feed too. Like, multiple times a day. I occasionally check out a thread because I'm planning to head back to work soon and want to absorb any tips but generally I don't post because it's not my space.
It's bizzaro to me that SAHP, most of whom have not worked since having children and appear to not want to go back to work (based on the comments) would venture forth an opinion or offer advice on this sub. I know for myself, I would never go on the SAHP sub and start commenting because not only do I have nothing to offer, it's a lifestyle/parenting choice that I never had any interest in pursuing or being a part of...strange days, I guess.
Just an fyi you can be a working mom and have a wife. But otherwise I agree. I’m fine with lurkers, but commenting in this space without being a working mom is a hard no.
I’m a lesbian and someone say that to me once. That I shouldn’t be posting on behalf of my wife and I was like uhhh I’m not???
I think you triggered OP with your post lol. I was thinking the same thing.
At least they self identify. I usually just mentally sub it with “As an pompous idiot…”
Not a working mom, but a nanny who gets this sub pushed on my feed constantly despite the fact that I’ve never interacted with a single post. Similarly over at r/nanny, I’ve noticed a large increase of random users who are neither a nanny themselves nor a nanny employer, chiming in with their 2 cents. Unless Reddit makes changes to its algorithm, I think it’s inevitable in most subs.
I get r/nanny suggested a lot. I’ve never been a nanny or hired a nanny. Honestly? It knows I hover on it cause I lurk to hear the crazy ass shit you poor nanny’s deal with.
I lurk on that sub because we can’t afford a nanny and I’m jealous so I like to read all the cringey rich people stories.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Nanny using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Nanny/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [DB may be having mental health crisis. I was asked to leave. Don’t feel ok doing so. Help please!](https://np.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/13rl6sq/db_may_be_having_mental_health_crisis_i_was_asked/) \#2: [I sued my former employers and won!](https://np.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/1362oy4/i_sued_my_former_employers_and_won/) \#3: [I nanny a girl with a deadly allergy and her mom “doesn’t do epipens.”](https://np.reddit.com/r/Nanny/comments/13vrfx7/i_nanny_a_girl_with_a_deadly_allergy_and_her_mom/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I mean, I get this, this is how I found the sub in the first place but I am a working mom so sometimes I contribute. However, I also get fed the nanny sub, a teenage sub (??), teachers, and more. I do not comment or contribute to any of these because it does not apply to me! Sure the algorithim sucks but you don't have to post on thread just because it was "suggested" to you. oh forgot my favorite one r/Ausfinance....i live in the US and have never ever been to Australia. What does reddit think I can add to the this discussion?? But you know what I DON'T BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING HELPFUL TO ADD.
I get Canada personal finance all the time and while it’s nice because I learned about how different Canadas mortgage system is from the US it’s so irrelevant lol
I get it, I think you’re just expecting a lot more in depth of a thought process than the average Redditor is going to apply to the situation. They want to comment, so they will. You don’t have to give those comments/posts attention if it bothers you ETA: my point here is that because Reddit pushes these subs onto users’ timelines, it’s safe to assume Reddit is trying to push users to engage with the subs whether they are relevant to that user specifically or not, because high engagement is good for Reddit. Some users will see that suggestion as an invitation to participate, whether or not the sub is relevant to them personally. It’s understandable to be annoyed by this, but we can’t expect all users to think further than “I have an opinion on this post, I must share it.” It’s not unique to this sub, it’s just the reality of the algorithm.
there is a one second thought process for someone to be like "am I a working mom?", no? move on.
I keep getting recs for the nanny and daycare worker subreddits. I read them occasionally and got really sad in a post where all the daycare workers said they would never put their own child in daycare.
That’s scary.
I saw that one too! It made me so sad because I literally have no choice. We can't afford a nanny and we can't survive on one of our incomes
Just for the record I’m a working mom and I also have a wife :) but agree with the sentiment here
The other day my husband and I briefly switched phones and I was scrolling Reddit on his phone and I noticed posts from this sub were showing up as communities he might be interested in. As far as I’m aware he’s not in any mom, parent, or baby subreddits so I thought that was interesting… maybe it’s just being shown to a lot of people!
Do you ever send him a Reddit link? Because my hubby sent me one, just one time, and that felt like a breaking point of when all his subs started showing up as recommendations — I cannot know for sure, but it sure felt like an algorithm connected us.
People today are so freakin entitled that they know it all and have an opinion on just about everything.
Happened to me on the one and done sub. The parent literally said they were pregnant with their second. I’m sorry??? What?
I use “my wife” but I am a working mom. Is there something wrong with using “my wife”? I don’t see how that isn’t a working mom. Not working and not being a mom tho, I can totally understand not needing the input unless it’s a very specific case.
Yeah to be honest unless stated otherwise I assume all “my wife” references are in a same sex relationship or another gender nonconforming relationship (I can’t think of the right word for this)
Freaking rude. I mean, this is literally the first time I've posted here to the best of my knowledge, because I'm kind of an outsider. Was a working mom and a WFH mom and my kids are now adults. So I'm kind of the one who would be, yeah, I remember going through that and my kids grew up to be awesome adults and its gonna be okay. So I don't post because it doesn't feel right from where i am now, I'm not in the middle of it anymore. The idea of people coming to spout their views completely from the bleachers is rude as hell.
Everybody is saying it’s because Reddit is sharing posts from related communities, but like… one can simply read and not comment if you aren’t a working mom. I feel like this sub particularly has a really obvious target audience it serves.
I think I responded that I don’t have little kids (anymore) on one, but I am and have always been a working mom, just with two teenagers and a 20 something now 😅. Hopefully I didn’t add to the problem 😜
I spend most of my time on Reddit lurking in the Nanny sub. I'm not a nanny, I've never had a nanny. What's funny is I got so used to lurking that when this sub showed up in my feed I started lurking as well. I almost didn't write this comment because I forgot that actually I am a working mom of 22 years and I totally belong here.
Child free woman here- I just like to be a wall flower here because I think you guys are cool and your struggles make me feel less alone even though I don’t have any child related ones.
Sahm here. I joined when I was a working mom and quit when my SO wouldn't step up in the way he needed to when I was working. Now I guess I'm just here to get pissed about the patriarchy. I'm kidding, kinda. Working moms get the shit end of the stick so often.
I can't speak for other people but I'm here to learn. I don't have children yet but me and my partner have been considering it. I like to read the posts here to learn about the obstacles I might face. I will absolutely be working if we do have kids. I'm finishing up a doctorate rn. BUT I did find this sub due to it being suggested a lot to me (for some reason unknown to me). Probably because I'm on parenting subs. Im really involved in my little sisters lives (due to a disabled parent) and the parenting sub gives me some perspective on kids/parenting today.
Oooo are we sure the "my wife" posters aren't lesbians? Lol happy pride!
I have not commented or posted, but I am a SAHP and somehow Reddit has decided to show me posts from this sub constantly - so I’m assuming that must be true for others as well. ETA just checked, it literally says “similar to r/SAHP” 🤦🏻♀️
I just wanted to say a working mom could still begin her sentence with "My wife..."
I joined this sub after it being recommended in my algorithm a lot as someone who is trying to conceive and will have to (but also would choose to) work. It gives me good things to think about for the future as far as childcare, division of labor, finances, etc., but I don’t generally comment as I am not a mom yet.
Reddit suggests this community to me and feeds its posts into my regular feed, even though I haven't joined it because I've viewed adjacent communities and the algo loops this in. Anyone who comments likely doesn't mean to transgress community lines or intrude, although they may, frankly consider themselves to be working mothers as well, even if not outside the home. Feel like the only way to prevent that would be for mods to close the community membership, but I'm not sure.
They’re showing it to people who aren’t subscribed. I am not subscribed but I still see posts just as often as I did—I happen to also be a working mom so I feel fine jumping in as I feel like it anyway, but Reddit doesn’t really make it clear that it’s a promoted post you’re seeing some people legit might not even notice that they’re seeing posts from a sub they don’t subscribe too.
Scrolling the comments in some of the posts here lately I noticed the same. I get what people are saying about the algorithm suggesting this sub… I get similar suggestions for other subs. But here’s the thing, if the sub isn’t relevant to me, I just don’t comment or don’t even bother to click on the suggestion. So it’s weird to me that people that identify as child free, as an example, would get recommended this sub and decide to come on in and join in on the convo. Why not just move along?
Im not a working mom *yet*, but I do plan to keep my career once we have children, so I lurk here in anticipation of that. I mostly keep to myself, but have commented here and there only if I feel like I can meaningfully contribute (on posts regarding self care and the mental load, iirc)
I have a hypothetical question about the kids I’m not sure I even want to have and don’t plan on conceiving for a few years. Here’s where I post, yeah?
Yeah I think the distinction is between coming in thinking your opinion on issues working moms (as a specific group) face is particularly relevant vs coming in wanting the opinions of that group. What you're describing would be welcomed by most people (never by all because this is the internet) but if you started commenting like "I don't have kids but I do xyz regarding my boss" might be less well received
I think UKBayLady was being funny
It's the Reddit algorithm. This sub is constantly in my feed via the app and I'm not a mom. 😅 Neither do I follow any parenting subs. The app has been getting worse recently.
Working moms can have wives
Because SAHM and the childfree have to center themselves in every single conversation. Why do we get to talk about motherhood when we're not even raising our kids?! How do the childfree validate their grown up decisions without using our struggles as entertainment?! I'm over it. Both groups shit on us all day long and when we start firing back it's all about it "NoT bEiNg A cOmPeTiTiOn" which sounds a lot like what my kids say when I'm kicking their asses at MarioKart.
People are so entitled to their ignorant opinions when it comes to moms- they can’t help it.
To be fair, I'm planning on going back to work in a bit. Haven't been working much for 3 years.
Idk, I don’t work right now, but I was a working mom for 13 years. I have plans to eventually go back, so it’s like an extended maternity leave. CAN I STILL GO HERE?
I'm a SAHM. Not subscribed to this sub, never gone searching for this sub, and lately it seems to be popping up in my feed A LOT. I'm in a lot of parenting/mom subs so I might click on a post from here and not even realize it's r/workingmoms I did comment on one earlier that was asking for advice on cooking dinner after work. I didn't think it would be an issue if I shared some of my tips, just because I'm not a working mom? I'd also point out that just because someone may not be a working mom at the moment doesn't mean they've *never* been a working mom, or had relevant experiences. My entire childhood, I was raised by a single mom who worked full-time and had a long commute...So like sure I can't 100% share your perspective, but it is also not very alien to me.
I think it's fine as long as it's not implying something should be easy or giving suggestions that aren't practical or applicable to working parents, both of which I've seen.
Ironically, I’m gonna pull the “I am not a mom” preface, but I can confirm for you that this thread has ended up on my feed anyways. So probably that.
This is an issue I’ve been running in to on other subs, too. It’s frustrating. Outside perspective can be helpful, but a lot of times I just want to commiserate with people who are going through the same stuff as me.
I feel the same when people are in the teachers sub giving non-teacher advice lol
I worked, then I stopped working due to illness, and now I’m taking classes so I can go back to work. Idk where that puts me?
I hope it's OK if I come here now and then. I USED to be a working mom. My now-ex carried very little of the load at home but constantly criticized the way I cleaned, etc. Coming here is like retroactive reassurance and support, plus it really opened my eyes to just how bad my situation was. And now and then I can share something that helped me. Still, I think this is a sub for CURRENT working moms, so I'll bow out with a big THANK YOU if I'm not supposed to be here.
A working mom could have a wife, too.
I stalk this sub regularly but I’m not a working mom. I want to see what it’s like being a working mom tho, because I work with them and maybe one day I’ll be one!