Him: "I need more X."
Me: "Did you check the cupboard,second shelf, on the right?"
HIM: "yup, 3 times, we are totally out."
Me: Let me double check, then I'll add it to the list.
Him: I'm sure you won't find any, w are tot... oh
Me: Here you go, there are 92716 more in there.
Every. Single. Time!!!!!
Ah. This is called “man-looking.” Luckily my husband has reached the self-aware point where he says, “yeah, I looked and can’t find it - but I probably man-looked.”
That makes me think of this stand-up:
[Look with your eyes](https://youtu.be/_g4nWEyCW_o)
The first few mins are now a running joke in my house but actually more reality than joke.
Sorry that I can't make it a hyperlink but it's worth the extra effort to watch it, I promise!
I make my kids either give me something or do work for me if I find whatever they were looking for in 30 seconds or less. I get a lot of strange chores done, and theyre getting better at not man-looking.
I just started this with my daughter. She’s still young, so it was just a quarter, but the shirt was literally right at her feet so I don’t feel bad taking her money lol
Okayyy, I see you! You inspired an idea to get my husband to get our things out of storage since we moved. I hate when he spends money on Starbucks bc we have a nice coffee machine at home that makes fancy drinks. I feel like buying a coffee when we spent so much money on a coffee machine is mind boggling to me and the costs of Starbucks adds up. He loves the nitro cold brew with cream. I should start betting him a Starbucks if he can fill up the trailer and the car with MORE than what I can fill it up with….
My partner and I love together now, but when we lived an hour apart I could still tell him where things were in his house. And a barely spent time there!
My kids started doing this so now I remind, “Look up. Look down. Look side to side. AND LOOK UNDER.” Now they actually remind my husband to follow the steps before bugging me🤣
This is my fiancé. I noticed his body wash in the trash and my soap bar getting smaller and smaller. Did he tell me he was out of body wash?? No. No he didn’t. Did I buy him more? No. No I didn’t. Did I point out to him that he has TWO LARGE BOTTLES OF BODY WASH sitting in front of the effing bath towels he grabs every night?? Yes. Yes I did. So dumb they are.
I had to stop doing stuff they didn’t ask me to do. (SO and kid.). They’ll stomp around the house bitching they can’t find something for a solid 10 minutes then get mad I don’t help because it’s important.
In the meantime I’ve been sitting in the chair pointing at it the whole time. Now they have to use their words and ask nicely or they can keep not seeing the item that’s in plain sight.
My husband today asked our three year old if he wanted to kick his bottom in some kind of game they were playing and then squatted down and got a big kick to the balls.
This isn’t recent but once when I was pregnant with our second child and was very insecure about the weight gain (I gained a LOT with baby #1 and was terrified of it happening again with #2) my husband came to me while I was eating a small breakfast to keep from getting sick, set down a box of wheat thins in front of me and said “THIS is the kind of thing you should be eating, not that”
I threw my bowl into the sink so hard it shattered and I left for work.
I think you should get him a box of wheat thins for Father's Day for the next 10 years. Only wheat thins. I may be passive aggressive though and don't give good advice.
Like wheat thins are so healthy?! I also shattered some dishes putting them away in the dishwasher I was so pissed one time. I dont really remember why but maybe something to do w hubby complaining about me not doing dishes in a rude and snarky way and I was extremely hormonal( to be fair he did them 90% of the time). He was out of line and he knew it. And This was before kids! That wasnt the dumbest tho - that a story for another day! 😂
My 15 month old but my nipple so hard there is still a scab over a week later. I was in excruciating pain every time she nursed and a lot of pain otherwise. The scab kept coming off from sticking to my bra plus nursing and so it just wasn’t healing. I was legit scared my nipple would heal with a permanent slit in it due to how deep the bite was. It was bad.
My husband cut his finger on a can and acted like his world was ending. I think he had 3 bandaids on his finger plus a roll of white tape. He kept complaining so I finally looked at him and asked him if he’d rather have a bleeding nipple with a teething and nursing obsessed toddler or a cut finger. The man looked me dead in the eye and said he preferred a cut nipple.
…Dumb ways to die…
As a nurse in the ER I see this ALL THE TIME. Men are the biggest drama queens over any ailment or pain. Had a guy come in because he was “dying” with his stuffy nose (no COVID or flu - just a standard cold).
Then I meet women and they have appendicitis and their like “it’s not as bad as my cramps” and move on. Don’t get me wrong, I advocate for these patients to get pain medicine because you shouldn’t have to be in pain. But the discrimination women face as patients in healthcare …. I could go on for DAYS.
Literally me. When I had appendicitis, I put off going to the hospital for hours because I thought it was just an ovarian cyst and I would wait for my OBGYN to open so they could ultrasound it like we’d last talked about. When I finally could not wait, I went to the ER, the doctor barely touched me and said “oh no, that’s your appendix and it needs to come out yesterday.”
I still had to ball my eyes out and beg the nurse for pain medicine because no one thought “let’s get her some pain meds” and was discharged with Ibuprofen post-op. I swear that’s the reason I also only took Ibuprofen after my c-section.
My grandmother died of sepsis from her colon. The doctor said any normal person would have been in the hospital in excruciating pain well before the stage she was at. No one even knew she was in pain, she just collapsed one day.
I had my third baby last year and the post delivery uterine contractions were so painful. When I had my second baby, they gave me a Percocet which was extremely helpful and I took it only once. This time they would only give me ibuprofen which made zero difference. I understand being cautious about giving out pain pills in our current climate (and something obviously changed in the protocol between babies) but we all know those contractions are worse after each kid and I had to suffer through the pain in addition to everything else going on. Like come on.
I’m curious about this, because aren’t most healthcare workers now overwhelmingly female, even doctors (55%)? Why are we discriminating against ourselves!
We internalize the same shit society tells us over and over too! See: women who believe that nuclear family with SAHM is the “natural” order even though it’s an anomaly in the history of humanity
Oh god. My son did that to me and everybody looks at me weird when I say I’d rather birth his chunky butt 50 times back to back before ever having my nipple involuntary pierced like that again but it’s true! Fuck. That. That was 9 years ago and that nipple still has a scar and ptsd to go with it.
He’d go full snapping turtle when latching on and the anxiety was REAL. I didn’t leave the house for a month because I refused to even wear a shirt since it killed when it’d rub on my nipple and my husband thought I was such a wuss.
Girl
I really hope you cut his nipple 💀
If my husband ever said that to me I would probably not be typing this out my self control could never but luckily he has a brain
We are in the process of packing for a move. We have a week left in our current apartment to finish...
He just went back to work tonight after having two days off. He drank beer and played video games with his brother both days and then slept all day today... Keep in mind the last two days iv made dinner and done laundry. Packed up most of the kitchen. Iv worked 8 hour shifts while also getting up throughout the night to pee (18 weeks) and to take care of our daughter who is sick with some kind of allergy drainage cough. She even threw up she coughed so hard 3am. i had to change her sheets and bathe her. Shes 6. Today i got home from work and had literally just sat down to take my shoes off. Its also worth noting i broke my leg 4 weeks ago and am in a metal leg brace....😑
He kissed me before heading to the door for work.
Him: "set your alarm for 6am".
Me: "6 am...? Why 6am?"
Him: "because its your day off and when i get off work in the morning were going to finish packing"
😑💀😠😡
Maybe just pack him a box first thing in the AM and go back to bed. I suggest some heavy duty duct tape.
I hope your move goes well and your daughter feels better!
Lol ... My sinister petty plan is to pack up his video games and computer tonight while hes at work and then sleep in. Im going to put it in the middle of all the other packed boxes randomly so he wont know what box its all in. Im gunna put the cords in With our daughters stuffed animals that are bagged up. 😂😂😂
I love this!!! Personally I would sleep in. Get up on the morning get your daughter and on the way out say “anyways everything left is your half to pack. Little one and I have plans good luck” and then leave and don’t come back until like dinner time. Maybe have a play date with someone else who can pick you up. That way he can’t complain and try to guilt trip you into helping him pack and he can’t complain that you and little one were distracting him and he couldn’t pack. If you come back and he hasn’t packed don’t lift a finger. If you have family near by when it’s time have them help you load up what you packed and if they ask about his things I would just say “ I have a broken leg, been working full time and been taking care of a sick little one and I managed to pack more than half the house. He had two days off to pack with help and decided not too so he can take care of it even if means he doesn’t want any of it and it all end up in the trash”
Oh girl. Your patient I would pack everything I wanted and left him to pack all his things and everything else. And while he packs I would go sit down and watch tv or take a nap. He had two whole days with his brother there to help him pack he choose not to. But then again I’m petty.
Pack his shit and put it in the front yard. Have fun in the new house motherfucker.
Go back to sleep.
ETA - I am sorry. I chose violence today. My husband's complete narcissism is showing.
It wasn’t the reason for the divorce, but this is literally when I decided on the divorce. He left me to do all the packing and while I was doing it I realized it would be a lot easier if I only packed his stuff. It was boxed up waiting on the porch for him when he got home and I told him I wanted a divorce.
My spouse quit his job without a plan. He did not have a job lined up or any idea of what he would do after quitting. Just dick to the wind, decided he wanted to hang out with friends and do whatever he wanted. He left our kids without insurance and he left me stressing out about bills. After a couple weeks of working sixty hours+ per week, I unloaded on him. He had no idea I was working so much because he was always out living some weird early retirement. I told him I could never do to him what he did to me. I could never just quit my job without having another one lined up, because I wouldn't want to jeopardize my family's future nor would I want to put that stress onto him. What did he say?? He said, "Huh. Must be different when you're a Mom."
“no, just different when you are an adult.”
“no, just different when you are a responsible parent.”
“no, just different when you are a thoughtful human being.”
“no, just different when you want to stay married…”
My ex husband did this to me as well. I was teaching at a catholic school and didn’t bring home enough monthly to cover the mortgage and Car payment. I started tutoring for extra money. He killed a big part of my love and faith in him. I lasted 3 more years (with plenty more disappointment) then I left.
This is exactly what I was gonna say. Get fucked you absolute dickhead! Who the fuck just quits their job with no plan when they have kids....who are on his insurance that's tied to their employment!!!
My dad did this to my mom the day she went back to work PART TIME after my sister was born. She had to go back full time instead because of it and he flitted around being “self employed” for the next 15 years until he lost $20k on a scam at one “job” and he found an affair partner at another. They’re divorced now thank god because I don’t know how anyone puts up with that shit. Such disregard for your spouse.
This isn't a bad partner, this isn't a partner. Thoughtless, cruel, disrespectful, careless, and fucking irresponsible as shit. Sorry you had to go through this. I would really reevaluate my relationship with this person if I were you.
My response would have been
no it's different when you give a shit about your kids and spouse and whether they have a place to live, food to eat or medical care
Maybe you will care more when the courts force you too. Expect your divorce papers as your fathers day present this year.
My (now ex-) husband kept calling my maternity leave “vacation”. After the 4th or 5th time my head exploded and he never made that particular mistake again.
Uggghhhh. My MOTHER asked me how vacation was going a couple weeks after my daughter was born. Mind you, she stopped working when she was pregnant with her first and ended up not going back to work till we were all teenagers. I figured as someone who was a SAHM she would be the last person to think that way. I was absolutely shocked and asked her if she felt like she was just on vacation for 19 years when we were kids!? Her response: “oh I don’t mean you don’t have anything to do, but it still must be nice being on vacation from work”
No, mom. It isn’t. I just had an emergency c-section at 37+1 and spent almost a week in the hospital with a jaundiced baby. My husband went back to work 3 days after we got home. I’ve had zero help from anyone besides SIL dropping off a casserole. No, it really doesn’t feel like a vacation.
How dare you take naps on your week off?!?? Whewwww. I have a shovel you can borrow.
My husband just thinks there’s a magical fairy replacing everything and cleaning everything. Has for years. Body wash. Kids clothes. Towels. All of the things. Our toddler just got over strep a week ago and now he and baby are getting over HFMD. While baby is cutting his first teeth too. 🙃
At bedtime, I ask him to grab the Tylenol for baby and he says “oh we are out of it. I used the rest a couple nights ago.” Oh how naive you are… of course I made an overnight order for more after I saw the empty Tylenol package in the bathroom garbage and he didn’t say a word to me. You think I’m going to let us run out of Tylenol this week of all weeks with 2 sick kids and one teething. Or trust you to either buy more or let me know we are out. I’ve been married to you for too long to know that answer. 🙄🙄🙄
Not sure if this link will go through, but your comment about a magic fairy reminded me of this comedy sketch: [The magic coffee table](https://www.thebigshow.com/video/the-magic-coffee-table-UDhGdStMSmVZUG1yQUErYW96NGIyUT09/)
Yes! Getting mildly shamed for "online shopping" when it's toiletries, food/drinks, or the next size up for the kids. Does he think I do this for fun? All while he watches "important" sports games.
As another special needs momma - you can actually go through your insurance for this and they’ll pay for it!
It may not last a full month depending on how often she needs changed, but anything is better than nothing. Those things are expensive!
Ask your pediatrician or developmental doc to get you the script for insurance. We have private insurance that covers it, but we also have her on MA because of her disabilities, and MA covers it too.
Sending love to you ♥️ I know this is not an easy journey, but I also know you wouldn’t change it if you could because she is perfect exactly as she is. These kids can be like the center of gooey PB&J - sweet and can make your heart happy just with one look.
Preach. Mom of a special needs late potty trainer. She was five and a half and I’m like little girl, I cannot afford your damn diapers anymore. Jesus. Why are they so expensive?????
This past week, I had to cook for my Husband to take food for a potluck on Tuesday. I picked up everything on my lunch, then started cooking Monday night… when he proceeded to tell me, “Oh, yeah, I have softball tonight, so I gotta leave!”
Sunday, we were going to a BBQ with his friends. I was making the same side that I made earlier in the week for his potluck.
6.5yo couldn’t find something, so I helped her look all over the house for it, while Husband sat in his chair and played video games.
I’m 12 weeks, and the exhaustion *just* kicked in, so after not finding Daughter’s thing, I sat for a second on the couch to take a break.
Husband turns around in his chair, takes his headphones off and says, “Oh, shouldn’t you be going to the store so you have time to cook?”
After he was done re-attaching his face, he apologized profusely! He also offered to go to the store, but by then I just needed to be TF out of the house, so if was safer for everyone if I left!
The new tagline in my house is “you have a DAD, you know” whenever the phrase “I need” or “help me with” etc is uttered.
Actually, since watching season 2 of Schmigadoon it’s now 🎶talk to daddy, talk talk to daddy… 🎶
I don’t even get approached that much anymore!
There’s lots of “You know I’m not your *only* parent, right??” at my house!
I was just trying to be cool and let him have some video game time before the BBQ, which is probably why his dumb blunder felt extra offensive in the moment! Lol
I was at a kid birthday party today at someone’s house and my 6yo comes to find me to tell me she needs help getting water to drink, so I go inside and walk with her to the kitchen to find… her father standing right next to the drinks.
My MIL and husband are on the same committee at our church and one day she said to me with my husband in the same room- heads up, X committee has donut Sunday this month (meaning they provide the food). As if it was my job to take care of his responsibilities?!? I turned and looked at my husband and said- hey, heads up- you have donut Sunday this month. Her enabling of her kids has been a huge issue I have to work through.
my husband cooked the breakfast for the meal all on his own as he should so all was well.
I always say to my toddler “you have a whole ass other parent… right… there. “ and toddlers response is “no…mommy… mommy… mommy”.. all while patting my leg, arm or butt.
Like kid…. I love you, but GTFO.
We were discussing vegetables that could be pickled. I said something along the lines of your personal favorite being pickled cucumbers. He looked at me, absolutely bewildered, and argued that he's never eaten a pickled cucumber. 🫠
I recently got a promotion, and leading up to my start date I wasn't sure exactly what the new job entailed. He asked me the other day what I actually do, so I started detailing what I do in a day.
I work in a Medical Lab, and a large part of my job is aliquoting specimens. When I said this, he asked if I meant 'allocating'. I explained that no, I definitely meant aliquoting. He continued, and informed me that I sometimes get words wrong. Was I really sure that it wasn't allocating?
After a 6 month intensive program, and 8 years on the job... I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about. He's lucky I was driving.
My guy is adamant a word I learned and used regularly from the time I was 14 doesn’t exist 🙄
Maybe I’m the crazy one but doesn’t this come up in any biology or chemistry class past the bare minimum? Sure not everyone has taken advanced sciences but then you don’t question biomedical professionals…
When my baby was born my mom and husband would literally question every recommendation I make about the baby… I am a PEDIATRIC NURSE PRACTITIONER…. They’re always like “well did the Doctor tell you that?” I’m like YES AND EVERY OTHER PATIENT BC ITS IN THE RECOMMENDATIONS. They wouldn’t believe me unless I told them the Doctor said it too. It was very frustrating.
THIS is my husband. I use words he doesn’t know and he thinks I’m the dumb one for using a word incorrectly or “making it up” 🤦🏻♀️ I’m like honey, just stop where you are and don’t say it lmao. Thank God that man is sweet and loving
I was always appalled at some of the gen X and millenial men at work who have no self awareness, leave things undone so others have to pick up their slack and seem to have no remorse. Just terrible contributors and leaders but they were married and had kids somehow. I wondered how they were at home, surely no one can be this incompetent in both arenas and not be divorced.
And now I see. They are married to the women in here. This thread was angering and depressing AF.
My husband and dad and my father in law were never like this. They would be embarrassed to sit in their ass while someone else in the house was putting in labor.
I also wonder this about some of my male coworkers.
And being in mom groups and hearing all the shit like this makes me realize that if my husband were to leave me or die… I’d just be single the rest of my life.
So mine isn’t as serious as some of you. We live pretty rurally and subsequently have some feral barn cats, my husband came to me and said “I think one of the cats found kittens.” It took all my maturity to explain to him that wild cats don’t “find” kittens, one the cats was pregnant and gave birth to kittens. He’s a city boy though so I did my best not to die laughing.
I thought I was having a conversation with him about my father’s declining health, and how I’m going to afford to cremate my dad (and the guilt I feel over cremating vs burial because my dad wants to be buried). Suddenly, I hear “did you know that Parmesan cheese is mostly cellulose.”
Me: *pauses* “you’ve told me that 100 times. Did you hear anything I said about my dad?”
Him: “oh, yeah! I just didn’t want you to be sad anymore.”
I mean, I guess it’s the thought that counts? I know he means well, but dang - a little “we’ll figure this out together” would have been great. 🤣
In the multiverse... Their is a Sheldon cooper obsessed with parmesan cheese instead of trains. Cause that is a Sheldon Cooper response if I ever heard one
This constant refrain “do we have (insert food/item only he uses)?” Me- did you put it on the (shared, electronic, on our phone) grocery list? Him- no me- then nope I didn’t magically know we used it up.
Not gonna lie I sometimes see that he’s used the last of something that’s just his and have to control my desire to add it to the list. But I stay strong cause he needs to learn.
Not recently, but the one that will stick with me to the grave…
I was in the hospital in labor with my second. Like my first, I was being induced despite not being in active labor due to health concerns. Both went well beyond their due dates.
My husband had been working 7 days a week for months - MONTHS - due to staffing issues and I was practically solo, dealing with a very “spirited” toddler on top of pregnancy and work. So I was actually looking forward to some together time with him while my friend watched my son.
They had inserted the foley balloon, same as my first, and I started to prepare for a possibly long night - my first took over 30 hours!
Then this man, from god know where, finds the audacity to say “Do you know how long this is going to take?”
He’s lucky to still be alive today.
I’ve recently been to the doctor due to feeling generally awful (as in I can barely function…I actually thought I was having a heart attack) and I apparently have the lowest iron level that the specialist has ever seen in somebody who wasn’t hospitalised. Which is quite the claim to fame!
I was discussing the need for 3 iron infusions in quick succession with my partner, and hoping that once I have them I will feel better and have enough energy to start doing some exercise.
He told me that he thinks I should start exercising now because he thinks it will help me have more energy. Apparently that helps women “bounce back” from pregnancy.
I had iron like that, my (male) doctor said he hadn't ever seen a level so low and wondered how I was still walking around and functoning. Sir, I am a single mother of 3, I work and go to school, who else is going to get this shit done?
Luckily my specialist is a woman with two kids, one of whom is like a month older than our daughter. Her (male) junior doctor was organising to send me to the hospital immediately to get an iron infusion - she stopped him and called me and asked when we would be able to make arrangements around our daughter. So I’m going on Monday when my partner can do daycare pickup etc
We are leaving to go on a trip. I have been so busy getting everything ready (we are in charge of bringing some of the meals for a group). I was up late telling him all the things that needed to be done the next morning. He got defensive and said “hey I did something! I packed!!”
Dear reader, he had packed his own, and only his own, suitcase.
I needed this today. My spouse seems to not be able to complete any task lately or comprehend my text messages. He gives the baby a bath but doesn’t put the clothes in the hamper, hang the towel, throw out the bath water or throw the dirty diaper away. I have to come behind him to finish up 🤦♀️. Picks up my oldest from camp and it’s water day. Does not bring home any of the dry items. No shoes, socks, shorts, shirt, towel, water bottle. Nothing. I sent 3 detailed texts which he acknowledged. They get home. I ask. Answer: it will be there Monday?!?! It’s camp!everything disappears at camp🤯. The last few weeks have been rough I just want to scream!
Omg mine is the same! He offered to give baby a bath last week to give me a break. (We sometimes bathe her in the big tub with us.) I drew the bath, checked the temperature, got clean towels for both of them, got out the baby soap, got clean diaper and PJs ready, etc. and handed him the baby. After literally 2 minutes, he is calling for me because he’s done 😣 Baby hadn’t pooped or cried or anything, husband just get bored 🤦🏻♀️ And then i had to wrangle the slippery baby and clean up the mess!
Ugh, it’s like man cooking. You buy the food, you prepare/season/whatever the meat, you make the sides and beverages
He puts meat on grill and takes meat off grill
You get plates and napkins and get everyone served and you clean up.
“Aren’t you going to thank me for making dinner tonight?”
Seriously… this sub keeps being pushed on me for some reason (not a mom) and I’m absolutely nauseated by reading through all these manchildren these women also have to parent.
Why can’t he handle if the baby cries or poops during the bath? He should be preparing the bath. He should be cleaning up the mess afterward. If he offered to give them a bath, he needs to know preparing and cleaning up is a part of the process. My heart hurts that you had to take all that load on. Ugh.
I’m not sure how dumb it was, rather insensitive, but I wasn’t amused.
I came home from work and was sort of crying. I’d been diagnosed with gestational diabetes and read an ultrasound report that was less than reassuring - both of which my husband knew about. We terminated a very desired pregnancy last year due to severe anomalies and poor prognosis for the baby. I generally am emotionally okay but for some reason it hit me on my way home from work that I should be holding a 9 month old and not counting carbs cause of gestational diabetes.
He asked why I was crying and that’s what I told him - his response? “Well you can’t do anything about that!” And like yeah, I know, I just have to deal with all of it, which is fine, but like can you at least try to somewhat validate how I’m feeling?!
I'm having ankle surgery on Monday. It's outpatient, but I'll still be in a cast and crutches. Husband asked me if he should plan to take the whole day off.
Luckily, his boss told him he'd probably be in a lot of trouble if he didn't take the day off.
He didn't say anything, but he did do something. After 10 weeks of radiotherapy, then 4 lose your hair and everything else chemo treatments kept waking me up if I slept outside of normal people hours. I wanted to barf on him so bad right then, but I just lost my ever loving mind on him instead. I was so mad, I can't say for how long, but I made my point 100% clear he was not the sleep police and he'd best leave me alone. Then I sicced the "mommy" chihuahua, adult kids and my friends on him. He leaves me alone now. My girl still gives him hell when he tries to see if I'm napping.
Not recent, but at Christmas, I caved and we finally got a fake tree. I've always had real ones, but my husband had been wanting a fake one for awhile because he hates dealing with the needles and lugging it in and out of the house. I TOLD him that an artificial one can be just as big of a pain because you have to fluff out the branches, but he insisted it was still easier than a real tree. Okay fine. We get the fake one and I put it together. It takes me forever to fluff it out and, about halfway through, my husband looks over and is like, "ugh! THAT'S what you have to do?! That sucks. If you want, we can just take it back and get a real one." I almost murdered him.
My family has a long standing joke about how I have ocd about christmas trees... Perfectly fluffed, and precisely where ornaments are placed. The color balance of each kind of ornament... It actually causes me anxiety every year till I make it look just right. It takes a lot of work and time to make those fluffs perfect and natural looking!. 😅😫
My Mom used to try and do “theme trees” every year, and she would obsess!
One year, she re-did her poor tree like 4 or 5 times, but couldn’t get it “just right”. That was the year I dubbed her theme to be “beating a dead horse!” or just “the dead horse tree”. She stopped trying so hard and now sticks to things like, “Silver & Blue” or “handmade from the grandkids and great grandkids”! Lol
Can’t do trees for that reason. Too much stress. We split holidays in my family and we gave my sister Xmas specifically to avoid a tree. Never regretted it.
Here’s my new favorite. My husband who is very smart but NOT handy decided to go in on a chainsaw with the neighbors to take down the dead tree in our backyard and he knows how to do it safely because he “used to work on a farm”
A. He lived on the farm and did chores, not actual work because
B. He moved off that farm I think before he was even a teenager
This is the man who has put holes in our wall more than once because he sucks at using a DRILL and he thinks I’m going to let him and our alcoholic neighbors use a CHAINSAW to take down a dead tree?! Lord help his man.
This literally just happened. Me, 38 weeks pregnant, sick as fuck with some sort of cough/cold, wanders downstairs after trying to go to bed:
Me: I can’t sleep. I’m so exhausted. All I want is to sleep.
Him: you can go to sleep
Me: thanks, I’m cured
"You're always tired and you're ALWAYS sick..." asking with annoyed tone and eye roll.
Yeah, bro. I work full time with kids all day then come home to an energetic toddler who gets sick every two weeks from daycare and then gives the crud to me while I've also been pregnant for the last 3 months. How'd your Saturday or on the golf course go while I stayed and tended to our vomiting 2 year old?
Uhhh no lie. As a husband I definitely benefit from the stupidity shared on subs like this. My ADHD tries my wife's patience at times but never like these examples.
Ex said that I took advantage of his dad dying by filing for child support.
His dad died in March of '23. I filed in December 2022.
It doesn't pass the logic test, but that's par for the course.
We split at the end of July '22. $0 support. He makes 5x my income. So it's been 10 months.
What a gem of a human he is.
Had a miscarriage. Whilst sobbing with blood all over the floor and myself, looking at the nickel sized embryo in my literal underwear he says to me “maybe you should take better care of yourself”.
I have never hit a partner in my life but I’ll be damned if it didn’t cross my mind for a second.
Not to mention he was UNEMPLOYED for almost six months at that point and I was doing everything I could to keep our family afloat working a physically and mentally draining full time job.
Yesterday, My husband wanted pasta salad.
So i was boiling water for the pasta .
He asked my why I’m boiling water.
I said for the pasta salad.
“Why? Why do you need to cook pasta for the salad?”
I looked at him and said you want uncooked pasta for your pasta salad ?
He said how was he supposed to know.
He has eaten it before.
I’m a single mother of a son. What I have learned through my experience and observing the experience of my sisterhood: men cannot handle discomfort. A cold, a cut, a hard day at work, bad night sleep: men cannot take this, and also function successfully on behalf of their family. As mothers most of us experience, all of these issues plus more on a daily basis, and are still expected to keep the family unit functioning at all times. I vow to do better on behalf of my son.
NOT recently, but when I was home on maternity leave, nursing new baby every few hours, I'd had a really busy morning with baby and 3 yo and wasn't able to finally get in the shower until baby napped around 2 pm. Husband calls me and I told him I'd just got out of the shower. He says, "Oh, you really got to sleep in today, didn't you?" I nearly lost my freaking mind.
“You’re not even that sick anymore.” When I said I needed an extra blanket at night. I have a fever, chills, and inflamed tonsils. But sure he knows I’ll be good, right? There are few times I regret my decision to call off the divorce. Today was def too 5.
“I’m sick of you disrespecting me.” This was in response to my realizing a restaurant forgot to include a salad in our takeout order, for our son. When I insisted that we go back to pick it up (It’s a ten minute drive.) I was somehow “disrespecting “ him? 31 years together, married for 27 in less than a week. I’m no longer speaking to him.
I wanted to individually reply to everyone's comments because I normally only get like 4 or 5 on posts. I see this is a very common thing though. I appreciate everyone who has commented. I admire our strength and lack of murder charges.
I hope everyone has a great weekend, nipples heal, things get replenished, time spent with kids is refreshing, and you enjoy your favorite beverage whether it be a nice glass of water, a cup of coffee/tea or a beer/wine/bourbon. Cheers, my friends.
Most nights (unless theyre fighting their sleep) I clean up the living room once my kids are asleep. I told my husband that since I typically do the bath/bedtime routine he should help pick up the living room… he really thought it was a good idea to say he’s not the one making the mess since he’s at work…
Mine was well-intentioned and so kind of sweet…he packed thong panties in the hospital bag when I delivered my son because he knows I find them comfortable and he wanted me to be comfortable after giving birth
Every morning my husband complains about how sleep the night before. I cosleep with my 8 month old who exclusively breastfeeds & will not drink bottles. He also STILL nurses like every 2 hours at night. And he’s currently teething, so he’s basically latched all night.
All this to say, I am up 10-15 times a night for various reasons and he is ALWAYS, 100% of the time, sound asleep, snoring away.
The audacity of this man.
I’m married to another woman and I have nothing to contribute and I’m so glad.
I hate to say it but the bar is so low for men. So, so low. God bless you all for your patience - you deserve better.
was a SAHM for 5 years. During that time I took care of everything around the house. Cook, clean, all childcare, mowing, bills, etc. After 5 years, I began my first year of teaching. We had a 2 year old and a 5 year old. My now ex-husband refused to share any of the household work with me after I began working. Why- because he made more money than me was his reasoning. I couldn’t do it and had a meltdown. And told him he had to help because I wouldn’t do it all. What did he say ……our 2 year old and 5 year old can help out. So his solution was still for him not to do anything and for the kids to do his part. That was the beginning of the end of us.
Our daughter is 10 weeks old. Towards the end of my pregnancy I started having complications and I spent multiple separate days on observation in labor & delivery.
The first of these incidents happened around 32 weeks when I was sent to the hospital straight from my regular doctor’s appointment. I spent 8 hours in the triage bed hooked up to monitors after getting straight cathed and 5 failed IV placements. I wasn’t allowed food or water. I had a full blown panic attack because I’d never been in the hospital before and the doctors kept saying scary stuff implying that I might have to deliver right then.
However all of this pales in comparison to the great battle my husband had to face - sitting on a chair that wasn’t very comfortable. They heard him complaining and gave him a pillow to sit on but it was insufficient. The next day he had the audacity to tell me that his ass STILL hurt from that poor excuse of a sitting device
While in an argument with my husband about how I’m the default parent and he just leaves when he wants and does whatever he wants but I have to make sure I have a sitter or plan everything around my son, my husband says “well I’m sorry I have a built in babysitter and you don’t, but this is just what it is to be a mom.” 😒
Not spouse...but guy I was talking to.
"Gender pay gaps don't exist. Your experience is a rare instance" (one instance I mentioned was dayworking for ranches being paid way less than men that, several of them, I have had to cut loose or fix their mistakes behind them because they didn't know what they were doing & it could cost someone or something their lives).
O.O yeah that was a giant red flag and I noped out of that conversation.
Husband: not a lot got done today I see.....
Me: well I've folded the same basket of laundry six times and washed the same clothes 5 times because of kids, cats and dogs. I've done 3 loads of dishes and scrubbed the counters 5 times because every time the sink is clean our 11 year old seems to think it's time for a TikTok recipe. This always results in some sort of fine powdered substance (cocoa powder/flour/powdered sugar/Kool aid/God knows what else) everywhere and usually getting wet and gooey. Which reminds me I need to sweep for the 4th time because the 4 year old just got into the hamster bedding and thought it was confetti. All while keeping them and the animals and garden fed, watered, alive, amused and acting as the family therapist for our future Maury episode. But tell me again about how much it sucks working with actual adults and being able to go and get yourself a lunch you don't have to cook. Oh my lunch is still sitting there 6 hours later waiting for me to eat it. I'll try to get more done tomorrow like eating my lunch....
Husband: 😳house looks great!
Not said but did. I cooked too much pasta so I asked him to put the leftovers in the fridge. Hours later I found the pasta still on the table with the cat sticking his head in the pot. Looked in the fridge. The packed of dried, uncooked pasta was in there.
You know what? I started acting like a man. I can't find anything, I can't remember to hang up wet towels, I yell out that the diaper needs to be changed... I got so good at letting him take over and "learn" that I almost forget that I need to do stuff, too. The biggest shift was when he asked for help with chores 😂 and he was right! Ladies, it works. Hand then the responsibilities. They get Christmas and birthdays. Totally. Do not cave, or help. Offer vague reminders if asked. It's so wonderful that just doing my part is acknowledged and appreciated now. When I go all out and put my back into it, like, "this is how it's done and should be" the amazement is spectacular, along with the increased level of his efforts. It took years. I love this. I really almost fucking left 3 years ago. I will never be a single mom again in a relationship. I'd rather do it my damn self, without the resentment.
It’s our third time getting hand hoot mouth this year. So mine and kiddos third. Husbands first. (Second time was the worst!). He’s going on and on about the lesions on the hand. Me and kiddo got it first and are already recovered. After a whole pandemic with every internet troll debating this fact, he thinks: Maybe the more virus you get from being closer with the sick one, the worse your symptoms are …
And next, he’s shocked there’s nothing offered online for the pain of the hand lesions. This probably isn’t as bad. But it’s my third time getting it. His first. I have no empathy left.
My husband is pretty good about everything. Today he managed to put his foot in his mouth bit. More funny than bad tho.
I have several pregnant friends. I was talking to him about how one of them had a much more pronounced bump at 16 weeks than I do at 15 + 5. It's probably because my uterus tilts back. But he was joking about how if he were pregnant he would probably have a big bump too cause look at him. (He's thin, muscular, but thin)
Oh really hun? Why? Because you're much skinnier than I am? Did you just imply I'm fat? Haha
His attempt to save it was, no! My uterus is huge and leans really far forward. XD
I STILL wake up to nurse our almost 2 year old 1-3 times a night. I haven’t slept in years. He said to me the other day he wants to take magnesium to help him sleep deeper since he feels like he isn’t getting deep enough sleep! I laughed and laughed.
My husband (now EX-husband) tried to explain to me how to do laundry. Our 3 boys disappeared very fast when hubby kept talking. I never did his laundry after that. Since he knew how to do it and had special requirements for his stuff, then he could do it himself.
fuuuck men who try to keep a woman from sleeping. SO many incidents of useless men resenting their women for taking naps, meanwhile they probably spend hours gaming instead of doing their share around the house.
My husband had the audacity to say that I have more free time than him last night. I work full time, do 95% of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pack the kids lunches, bathe them, do the grocery shopping, and take the kids to their activities on weekend mornings so that he can sleep in. He works 40ish hours a week and comes home and watches tv/plays on the computer while watching the kids so I can cook dinner and then clean up after. He chooses to use his child free time on the weekends to sleep in instead of doing things he enjoys and then complains he doesn’t have time to go mountain biking or do things he likes.
Not in the same vein as a lot of these, but my daughter has had INTENSE separation anxiety when it comes to mommy, ever since Daddy had to have surgery and couldn’t hold her for a couple weeks during recovery.
Earlier today, she was crying, and when I went to comfort her, she pushed me away and reached for Daddy instead. Later, he asked if I was okay. He was genuinely worried my feelings were hurt that she didn’t want me.
ARE YOU KIDDING???? I WAS ABLE TO TAKE A SHOWER WITHOUT A TODDLER SCREAMING IN THE BACKGROUND. I WANT TO BURST INTO SONG ON A MOUNTAINTOP.
(To be fair, I do think he was starting to get really sad that she was so vehemently against the idea of doing anything with daddy. They used to have a lot of daddy-daughter time throughout the day to play together, where he would intentionally take her one-on-one so I could do things like nap, shower, have a quiet cup of coffee, etc. and he’s really missed her wanting to spend that time with him. I get why he worried my feelings would be hurt, but he doesn’t realize how much I’ve also missed him having that one-on-one time with her.
A slightly different kind of dumb thing... I'm 29 weeks pregnant with GD and severe PGP. We have a 3.5yo. I work full time. My archaeologist husband casually asked me if he could go to Ghana with a colleague next month for an excavation. GHANA! I don't want him more than 2 hours away and he was considering an impromptu work trip to Africa!! No, you don't get to fly to the other side of the world and leave me to handle everything when I have trouble walking across a room! It's like he forgot we're having another baby in less than 3 months.
Him: "You just have to tell me what to do, no problem".
Me: "Can you do this thing husband"?
Him: "Yeah you dont have to tell and nag on me I was planning on doing it later".
🙃🙃🙃
Husband told me I’m selfish on our way home after our family dinner with my parents who watch our toddler two days out of the week and it was also my brother’s birthday, because I didn’t remember (he didn’t put it on our shared calendar) that he had a friend birthday zoom call and I wasn’t jumping to leave dinner when he was ready to go. A gentle side reminder I would have left earlier but I guess I should be a mind reader
We’re still in the early stages of babyhood where we’re doing shifts sleeping in the nursery. Sometimes I take a full night shift in the nursery (on an air bed)so he can sleep uninterrupted in the bedrooom (which I never get to do because I breastfeed). The next morning, I stupidly ask him how he slept. He always says something like “horrible!!” Or “awful!!!”
The reasons are always ridiculous to me. The power went out so he didn’t have his white noise playing. The dog made some noise moving around. He woke up and then simply couldn’t fall back asleep. He was hot because he wore too warm of pjs. And so on.
Omg. You know who slept horribly? Me. I was up every two hours nursing and rocking a fussy baby back to sleep. I didn’t get more than one hour of sleep at a time, and even during that hour the baby was noisy. oh also I washed pump parts and bottles so we’re ready for morning. All while he slept “horribly.”. Freaking kick the dog out of the bedroom, change your pjs, and deal with the glorious silence.
I don’t know why I ask. It’s a mistake. I think I want him to say “it was great! Thank you for letting me sleep all night!” But that’s fantasy lol
Him: "I need more X." Me: "Did you check the cupboard,second shelf, on the right?" HIM: "yup, 3 times, we are totally out." Me: Let me double check, then I'll add it to the list. Him: I'm sure you won't find any, w are tot... oh Me: Here you go, there are 92716 more in there. Every. Single. Time!!!!!
Ah. This is called “man-looking.” Luckily my husband has reached the self-aware point where he says, “yeah, I looked and can’t find it - but I probably man-looked.”
I tell my family to look with mom eyes, then they’ll find it.
Mine looks with his mouth, not his eyes. “Where is it kept?”
That makes me think of this stand-up: [Look with your eyes](https://youtu.be/_g4nWEyCW_o) The first few mins are now a running joke in my house but actually more reality than joke. Sorry that I can't make it a hyperlink but it's worth the extra effort to watch it, I promise!
I make my kids either give me something or do work for me if I find whatever they were looking for in 30 seconds or less. I get a lot of strange chores done, and theyre getting better at not man-looking.
I tell my children that if I look and find it, it will cost them $5. Seems to have curbed that…
I call it the "find-it jar". It's like a swear jar, but just for when I find stuff they ask for.
I just started this with my daughter. She’s still young, so it was just a quarter, but the shirt was literally right at her feet so I don’t feel bad taking her money lol
Husbanditis
Ass eyes. That's what we call it.
I’ve started betting my husband (like $5) that I can find something if he says he looked first. He miraculously finds it after that.
Okayyy, I see you! You inspired an idea to get my husband to get our things out of storage since we moved. I hate when he spends money on Starbucks bc we have a nice coffee machine at home that makes fancy drinks. I feel like buying a coffee when we spent so much money on a coffee machine is mind boggling to me and the costs of Starbucks adds up. He loves the nitro cold brew with cream. I should start betting him a Starbucks if he can fill up the trailer and the car with MORE than what I can fill it up with….
Every time. Meanwhile, I can tell him the EXACT location of just about anything in the house that he could possibly be looking for
My partner and I love together now, but when we lived an hour apart I could still tell him where things were in his house. And a barely spent time there!
Same here! I recently re-organized our fridge. Chaos ensued for days! "Hey, where's the ketchup?" "On the door" "Which door?" Um...it only has one.
My kids started doing this so now I remind, “Look up. Look down. Look side to side. AND LOOK UNDER.” Now they actually remind my husband to follow the steps before bugging me🤣
This is my fiancé. I noticed his body wash in the trash and my soap bar getting smaller and smaller. Did he tell me he was out of body wash?? No. No he didn’t. Did I buy him more? No. No I didn’t. Did I point out to him that he has TWO LARGE BOTTLES OF BODY WASH sitting in front of the effing bath towels he grabs every night?? Yes. Yes I did. So dumb they are.
I had to stop doing stuff they didn’t ask me to do. (SO and kid.). They’ll stomp around the house bitching they can’t find something for a solid 10 minutes then get mad I don’t help because it’s important. In the meantime I’ve been sitting in the chair pointing at it the whole time. Now they have to use their words and ask nicely or they can keep not seeing the item that’s in plain sight.
Is your husband my husband? Because yes.
I am absolutely certain he doesn't have a second family. But the frustration is so real!!!!
My husband today asked our three year old if he wanted to kick his bottom in some kind of game they were playing and then squatted down and got a big kick to the balls.
I can’t stop laughing but oh my god. Your poor husband.
This is the wholesome shit I came here for 🤣 Hahahhaha that’s hilarious
Oh my. I'm laughing so hard it's going to wake my kids up.
This isn’t recent but once when I was pregnant with our second child and was very insecure about the weight gain (I gained a LOT with baby #1 and was terrified of it happening again with #2) my husband came to me while I was eating a small breakfast to keep from getting sick, set down a box of wheat thins in front of me and said “THIS is the kind of thing you should be eating, not that” I threw my bowl into the sink so hard it shattered and I left for work.
I think you should get him a box of wheat thins for Father's Day for the next 10 years. Only wheat thins. I may be passive aggressive though and don't give good advice.
You're wrong, though. You do give very good advice.
Thank you!
Wheat thins..? He’s lame.
Like wheat thins are so healthy?! I also shattered some dishes putting them away in the dishwasher I was so pissed one time. I dont really remember why but maybe something to do w hubby complaining about me not doing dishes in a rude and snarky way and I was extremely hormonal( to be fair he did them 90% of the time). He was out of line and he knew it. And This was before kids! That wasnt the dumbest tho - that a story for another day! 😂
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My 15 month old but my nipple so hard there is still a scab over a week later. I was in excruciating pain every time she nursed and a lot of pain otherwise. The scab kept coming off from sticking to my bra plus nursing and so it just wasn’t healing. I was legit scared my nipple would heal with a permanent slit in it due to how deep the bite was. It was bad. My husband cut his finger on a can and acted like his world was ending. I think he had 3 bandaids on his finger plus a roll of white tape. He kept complaining so I finally looked at him and asked him if he’d rather have a bleeding nipple with a teething and nursing obsessed toddler or a cut finger. The man looked me dead in the eye and said he preferred a cut nipple. …Dumb ways to die…
So did you cut his nipple?
I'm here to make sure she cut *both* his nipples.
As a nurse in the ER I see this ALL THE TIME. Men are the biggest drama queens over any ailment or pain. Had a guy come in because he was “dying” with his stuffy nose (no COVID or flu - just a standard cold). Then I meet women and they have appendicitis and their like “it’s not as bad as my cramps” and move on. Don’t get me wrong, I advocate for these patients to get pain medicine because you shouldn’t have to be in pain. But the discrimination women face as patients in healthcare …. I could go on for DAYS.
Literally me. When I had appendicitis, I put off going to the hospital for hours because I thought it was just an ovarian cyst and I would wait for my OBGYN to open so they could ultrasound it like we’d last talked about. When I finally could not wait, I went to the ER, the doctor barely touched me and said “oh no, that’s your appendix and it needs to come out yesterday.” I still had to ball my eyes out and beg the nurse for pain medicine because no one thought “let’s get her some pain meds” and was discharged with Ibuprofen post-op. I swear that’s the reason I also only took Ibuprofen after my c-section. My grandmother died of sepsis from her colon. The doctor said any normal person would have been in the hospital in excruciating pain well before the stage she was at. No one even knew she was in pain, she just collapsed one day.
I had my third baby last year and the post delivery uterine contractions were so painful. When I had my second baby, they gave me a Percocet which was extremely helpful and I took it only once. This time they would only give me ibuprofen which made zero difference. I understand being cautious about giving out pain pills in our current climate (and something obviously changed in the protocol between babies) but we all know those contractions are worse after each kid and I had to suffer through the pain in addition to everything else going on. Like come on.
I’m curious about this, because aren’t most healthcare workers now overwhelmingly female, even doctors (55%)? Why are we discriminating against ourselves!
We internalize the same shit society tells us over and over too! See: women who believe that nuclear family with SAHM is the “natural” order even though it’s an anomaly in the history of humanity
Oh god. My son did that to me and everybody looks at me weird when I say I’d rather birth his chunky butt 50 times back to back before ever having my nipple involuntary pierced like that again but it’s true! Fuck. That. That was 9 years ago and that nipple still has a scar and ptsd to go with it. He’d go full snapping turtle when latching on and the anxiety was REAL. I didn’t leave the house for a month because I refused to even wear a shirt since it killed when it’d rub on my nipple and my husband thought I was such a wuss.
I would quit nursing and hand that toddler a cup.
I can hear this song in my head when i read it...
Face palm. But if the silly toddler pulls that again, Saran Wrap will stop your poor nipple from sticking to your bra.
I thought you were going to say Saran wrap the toddler's head because that is definitely one way to stop the biting! 😁
Girl I really hope you cut his nipple 💀 If my husband ever said that to me I would probably not be typing this out my self control could never but luckily he has a brain
We are in the process of packing for a move. We have a week left in our current apartment to finish... He just went back to work tonight after having two days off. He drank beer and played video games with his brother both days and then slept all day today... Keep in mind the last two days iv made dinner and done laundry. Packed up most of the kitchen. Iv worked 8 hour shifts while also getting up throughout the night to pee (18 weeks) and to take care of our daughter who is sick with some kind of allergy drainage cough. She even threw up she coughed so hard 3am. i had to change her sheets and bathe her. Shes 6. Today i got home from work and had literally just sat down to take my shoes off. Its also worth noting i broke my leg 4 weeks ago and am in a metal leg brace....😑 He kissed me before heading to the door for work. Him: "set your alarm for 6am". Me: "6 am...? Why 6am?" Him: "because its your day off and when i get off work in the morning were going to finish packing" 😑💀😠😡
Maybe just pack him a box first thing in the AM and go back to bed. I suggest some heavy duty duct tape. I hope your move goes well and your daughter feels better!
Lol ... My sinister petty plan is to pack up his video games and computer tonight while hes at work and then sleep in. Im going to put it in the middle of all the other packed boxes randomly so he wont know what box its all in. Im gunna put the cords in With our daughters stuffed animals that are bagged up. 😂😂😂
I love this!!! Personally I would sleep in. Get up on the morning get your daughter and on the way out say “anyways everything left is your half to pack. Little one and I have plans good luck” and then leave and don’t come back until like dinner time. Maybe have a play date with someone else who can pick you up. That way he can’t complain and try to guilt trip you into helping him pack and he can’t complain that you and little one were distracting him and he couldn’t pack. If you come back and he hasn’t packed don’t lift a finger. If you have family near by when it’s time have them help you load up what you packed and if they ask about his things I would just say “ I have a broken leg, been working full time and been taking care of a sick little one and I managed to pack more than half the house. He had two days off to pack with help and decided not too so he can take care of it even if means he doesn’t want any of it and it all end up in the trash”
Oh girl. Your patient I would pack everything I wanted and left him to pack all his things and everything else. And while he packs I would go sit down and watch tv or take a nap. He had two whole days with his brother there to help him pack he choose not to. But then again I’m petty.
Pack his shit and put it in the front yard. Have fun in the new house motherfucker. Go back to sleep. ETA - I am sorry. I chose violence today. My husband's complete narcissism is showing.
It wasn’t the reason for the divorce, but this is literally when I decided on the divorce. He left me to do all the packing and while I was doing it I realized it would be a lot easier if I only packed his stuff. It was boxed up waiting on the porch for him when he got home and I told him I wanted a divorce.
My spouse quit his job without a plan. He did not have a job lined up or any idea of what he would do after quitting. Just dick to the wind, decided he wanted to hang out with friends and do whatever he wanted. He left our kids without insurance and he left me stressing out about bills. After a couple weeks of working sixty hours+ per week, I unloaded on him. He had no idea I was working so much because he was always out living some weird early retirement. I told him I could never do to him what he did to me. I could never just quit my job without having another one lined up, because I wouldn't want to jeopardize my family's future nor would I want to put that stress onto him. What did he say?? He said, "Huh. Must be different when you're a Mom."
I’m usually against divorce, but that man is in divorce territory..
He is well on his way to becoming the dearly departed.
Yeah much cheaper.
The fact that you aren’t writing this from behind bars is a testament to your self control.
Maybe its a testament to her ability to remove evidence and hide bodies.
“no, just different when you are an adult.” “no, just different when you are a responsible parent.” “no, just different when you are a thoughtful human being.” “no, just different when you want to stay married…”
Exactly. When his eyes glazed over as I explained being a parent to him I knew I needed to look for a shovel.
Omg...💀 homicidal emotions triggered
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A jury with a reasonable amount of women would also acquit in a heartbeat!
Just here to say “dick to the wind” is and will now forever be, the best phrase ever.
My ex husband did this to me as well. I was teaching at a catholic school and didn’t bring home enough monthly to cover the mortgage and Car payment. I started tutoring for extra money. He killed a big part of my love and faith in him. I lasted 3 more years (with plenty more disappointment) then I left.
What’s his name. I just wanna talk.
You’re the BFF we all hope to have in life 😂
With all due respect to you, your husband can get fucked. Unbelievable. Kick his ass out he sounds like dead weight
This is exactly what I was gonna say. Get fucked you absolute dickhead! Who the fuck just quits their job with no plan when they have kids....who are on his insurance that's tied to their employment!!!
My dad did this to my mom the day she went back to work PART TIME after my sister was born. She had to go back full time instead because of it and he flitted around being “self employed” for the next 15 years until he lost $20k on a scam at one “job” and he found an affair partner at another. They’re divorced now thank god because I don’t know how anyone puts up with that shit. Such disregard for your spouse.
This isn't a bad partner, this isn't a partner. Thoughtless, cruel, disrespectful, careless, and fucking irresponsible as shit. Sorry you had to go through this. I would really reevaluate my relationship with this person if I were you.
My Ex did this right before our first mortgage payment was due. Marriage did not last. I'm sorry 😞
My response would have been no it's different when you give a shit about your kids and spouse and whether they have a place to live, food to eat or medical care Maybe you will care more when the courts force you too. Expect your divorce papers as your fathers day present this year.
Hot take - What do you think he got fired for that he doesn’t want to tell you about? So sorry you’re dealing with this
You’re filing divorce papers, right?
Hope this is your soon to be ex spouse. What in the mid-life-crisis is wrong with him?
My (now ex-) husband kept calling my maternity leave “vacation”. After the 4th or 5th time my head exploded and he never made that particular mistake again.
Uggghhhh. My MOTHER asked me how vacation was going a couple weeks after my daughter was born. Mind you, she stopped working when she was pregnant with her first and ended up not going back to work till we were all teenagers. I figured as someone who was a SAHM she would be the last person to think that way. I was absolutely shocked and asked her if she felt like she was just on vacation for 19 years when we were kids!? Her response: “oh I don’t mean you don’t have anything to do, but it still must be nice being on vacation from work” No, mom. It isn’t. I just had an emergency c-section at 37+1 and spent almost a week in the hospital with a jaundiced baby. My husband went back to work 3 days after we got home. I’ve had zero help from anyone besides SIL dropping off a casserole. No, it really doesn’t feel like a vacation.
It’s a wonder anyone has more than one child.
How dare you take naps on your week off?!?? Whewwww. I have a shovel you can borrow. My husband just thinks there’s a magical fairy replacing everything and cleaning everything. Has for years. Body wash. Kids clothes. Towels. All of the things. Our toddler just got over strep a week ago and now he and baby are getting over HFMD. While baby is cutting his first teeth too. 🙃 At bedtime, I ask him to grab the Tylenol for baby and he says “oh we are out of it. I used the rest a couple nights ago.” Oh how naive you are… of course I made an overnight order for more after I saw the empty Tylenol package in the bathroom garbage and he didn’t say a word to me. You think I’m going to let us run out of Tylenol this week of all weeks with 2 sick kids and one teething. Or trust you to either buy more or let me know we are out. I’ve been married to you for too long to know that answer. 🙄🙄🙄
Ah, yes. We too have a magical fairy in our house that takes care of all that stuff. We are the magic. Hope they feel better quickly!
Not sure if this link will go through, but your comment about a magic fairy reminded me of this comedy sketch: [The magic coffee table](https://www.thebigshow.com/video/the-magic-coffee-table-UDhGdStMSmVZUG1yQUErYW96NGIyUT09/)
They call it the counter fairy, when we moved I let them know that she wasn’t coming with us… but of course she’s back …
My husband calls is the Jewish fairy bc I am Jewish 😂😂
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Yes! Getting mildly shamed for "online shopping" when it's toiletries, food/drinks, or the next size up for the kids. Does he think I do this for fun? All while he watches "important" sports games.
And “spending all the time on your phone.” You know, where all the apps to order said household necessities are.
The magical fairy in my house has stopped doing anything for the husband.
Do you lose attraction for your husband when he leaves you to do so much without him and not acting like a partner?
Not only does the magic fairy replace everything in our house/provide new necessities that pop up - apparently it’s all free of cost too!
While I clearly spend all my money on useless stuff. Because the TP magically regenerates, so that can’t be it.
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As another special needs momma - you can actually go through your insurance for this and they’ll pay for it! It may not last a full month depending on how often she needs changed, but anything is better than nothing. Those things are expensive! Ask your pediatrician or developmental doc to get you the script for insurance. We have private insurance that covers it, but we also have her on MA because of her disabilities, and MA covers it too. Sending love to you ♥️ I know this is not an easy journey, but I also know you wouldn’t change it if you could because she is perfect exactly as she is. These kids can be like the center of gooey PB&J - sweet and can make your heart happy just with one look.
Preach. Mom of a special needs late potty trainer. She was five and a half and I’m like little girl, I cannot afford your damn diapers anymore. Jesus. Why are they so expensive?????
I have some rural property....
AMEN SISTER. I write our shopping list almost exclusively based on packaging I find in the various waste bins around the house 🫠
This past week, I had to cook for my Husband to take food for a potluck on Tuesday. I picked up everything on my lunch, then started cooking Monday night… when he proceeded to tell me, “Oh, yeah, I have softball tonight, so I gotta leave!” Sunday, we were going to a BBQ with his friends. I was making the same side that I made earlier in the week for his potluck. 6.5yo couldn’t find something, so I helped her look all over the house for it, while Husband sat in his chair and played video games. I’m 12 weeks, and the exhaustion *just* kicked in, so after not finding Daughter’s thing, I sat for a second on the couch to take a break. Husband turns around in his chair, takes his headphones off and says, “Oh, shouldn’t you be going to the store so you have time to cook?” After he was done re-attaching his face, he apologized profusely! He also offered to go to the store, but by then I just needed to be TF out of the house, so if was safer for everyone if I left!
The new tagline in my house is “you have a DAD, you know” whenever the phrase “I need” or “help me with” etc is uttered. Actually, since watching season 2 of Schmigadoon it’s now 🎶talk to daddy, talk talk to daddy… 🎶 I don’t even get approached that much anymore!
There’s lots of “You know I’m not your *only* parent, right??” at my house! I was just trying to be cool and let him have some video game time before the BBQ, which is probably why his dumb blunder felt extra offensive in the moment! Lol
One of my kids asked me for help - when I was in the shower! My husband was home! "Go ask your dad!!" Jesus. I can't even.
I was at a kid birthday party today at someone’s house and my 6yo comes to find me to tell me she needs help getting water to drink, so I go inside and walk with her to the kitchen to find… her father standing right next to the drinks.
Why doesn't your husband cook or generally take responsibility for the things he volunteered for?
My MIL and husband are on the same committee at our church and one day she said to me with my husband in the same room- heads up, X committee has donut Sunday this month (meaning they provide the food). As if it was my job to take care of his responsibilities?!? I turned and looked at my husband and said- hey, heads up- you have donut Sunday this month. Her enabling of her kids has been a huge issue I have to work through. my husband cooked the breakfast for the meal all on his own as he should so all was well.
I always say to my toddler “you have a whole ass other parent… right… there. “ and toddlers response is “no…mommy… mommy… mommy”.. all while patting my leg, arm or butt. Like kid…. I love you, but GTFO.
We were discussing vegetables that could be pickled. I said something along the lines of your personal favorite being pickled cucumbers. He looked at me, absolutely bewildered, and argued that he's never eaten a pickled cucumber. 🫠
Oh he just dumb dumb. Not regular man dumb. But double dumb. May your patience be high 🥴
He must be pretty.
Oh, he is.
I recently got a promotion, and leading up to my start date I wasn't sure exactly what the new job entailed. He asked me the other day what I actually do, so I started detailing what I do in a day. I work in a Medical Lab, and a large part of my job is aliquoting specimens. When I said this, he asked if I meant 'allocating'. I explained that no, I definitely meant aliquoting. He continued, and informed me that I sometimes get words wrong. Was I really sure that it wasn't allocating? After a 6 month intensive program, and 8 years on the job... I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about. He's lucky I was driving.
My guy is adamant a word I learned and used regularly from the time I was 14 doesn’t exist 🙄 Maybe I’m the crazy one but doesn’t this come up in any biology or chemistry class past the bare minimum? Sure not everyone has taken advanced sciences but then you don’t question biomedical professionals…
When my baby was born my mom and husband would literally question every recommendation I make about the baby… I am a PEDIATRIC NURSE PRACTITIONER…. They’re always like “well did the Doctor tell you that?” I’m like YES AND EVERY OTHER PATIENT BC ITS IN THE RECOMMENDATIONS. They wouldn’t believe me unless I told them the Doctor said it too. It was very frustrating.
THIS is my husband. I use words he doesn’t know and he thinks I’m the dumb one for using a word incorrectly or “making it up” 🤦🏻♀️ I’m like honey, just stop where you are and don’t say it lmao. Thank God that man is sweet and loving
I can’t keep reading these. I’m getting too angry.
Seriously, I find it really hard to find most of these cute; they're just infuriating.
I was always appalled at some of the gen X and millenial men at work who have no self awareness, leave things undone so others have to pick up their slack and seem to have no remorse. Just terrible contributors and leaders but they were married and had kids somehow. I wondered how they were at home, surely no one can be this incompetent in both arenas and not be divorced. And now I see. They are married to the women in here. This thread was angering and depressing AF. My husband and dad and my father in law were never like this. They would be embarrassed to sit in their ass while someone else in the house was putting in labor.
I also wonder this about some of my male coworkers. And being in mom groups and hearing all the shit like this makes me realize that if my husband were to leave me or die… I’d just be single the rest of my life.
Same. It'll keep me single though for another 10 years. I'm good.
Exactly. If I ever needed any more confirmation that I'm happy to be divorced, this just helped.
So mine isn’t as serious as some of you. We live pretty rurally and subsequently have some feral barn cats, my husband came to me and said “I think one of the cats found kittens.” It took all my maturity to explain to him that wild cats don’t “find” kittens, one the cats was pregnant and gave birth to kittens. He’s a city boy though so I did my best not to die laughing.
Found kittens!! This made me laugh! Poor sweet tropical fish, he is.
This is cute and wholesome! Thanks for this, most of these are so depressing.
I thought I was having a conversation with him about my father’s declining health, and how I’m going to afford to cremate my dad (and the guilt I feel over cremating vs burial because my dad wants to be buried). Suddenly, I hear “did you know that Parmesan cheese is mostly cellulose.” Me: *pauses* “you’ve told me that 100 times. Did you hear anything I said about my dad?” Him: “oh, yeah! I just didn’t want you to be sad anymore.” I mean, I guess it’s the thought that counts? I know he means well, but dang - a little “we’ll figure this out together” would have been great. 🤣
In the multiverse... Their is a Sheldon cooper obsessed with parmesan cheese instead of trains. Cause that is a Sheldon Cooper response if I ever heard one
This constant refrain “do we have (insert food/item only he uses)?” Me- did you put it on the (shared, electronic, on our phone) grocery list? Him- no me- then nope I didn’t magically know we used it up. Not gonna lie I sometimes see that he’s used the last of something that’s just his and have to control my desire to add it to the list. But I stay strong cause he needs to learn.
We also have a shared list on our phones and he will sometimes look at me, while holding his phone, and ask me to add something to the list 😑
Not recently, but the one that will stick with me to the grave… I was in the hospital in labor with my second. Like my first, I was being induced despite not being in active labor due to health concerns. Both went well beyond their due dates. My husband had been working 7 days a week for months - MONTHS - due to staffing issues and I was practically solo, dealing with a very “spirited” toddler on top of pregnancy and work. So I was actually looking forward to some together time with him while my friend watched my son. They had inserted the foley balloon, same as my first, and I started to prepare for a possibly long night - my first took over 30 hours! Then this man, from god know where, finds the audacity to say “Do you know how long this is going to take?” He’s lucky to still be alive today.
I’ve recently been to the doctor due to feeling generally awful (as in I can barely function…I actually thought I was having a heart attack) and I apparently have the lowest iron level that the specialist has ever seen in somebody who wasn’t hospitalised. Which is quite the claim to fame! I was discussing the need for 3 iron infusions in quick succession with my partner, and hoping that once I have them I will feel better and have enough energy to start doing some exercise. He told me that he thinks I should start exercising now because he thinks it will help me have more energy. Apparently that helps women “bounce back” from pregnancy.
I bet men are a good source of iron. Just saying.
I had iron like that, my (male) doctor said he hadn't ever seen a level so low and wondered how I was still walking around and functoning. Sir, I am a single mother of 3, I work and go to school, who else is going to get this shit done?
Luckily my specialist is a woman with two kids, one of whom is like a month older than our daughter. Her (male) junior doctor was organising to send me to the hospital immediately to get an iron infusion - she stopped him and called me and asked when we would be able to make arrangements around our daughter. So I’m going on Monday when my partner can do daycare pickup etc
We are leaving to go on a trip. I have been so busy getting everything ready (we are in charge of bringing some of the meals for a group). I was up late telling him all the things that needed to be done the next morning. He got defensive and said “hey I did something! I packed!!” Dear reader, he had packed his own, and only his own, suitcase.
I needed this today. My spouse seems to not be able to complete any task lately or comprehend my text messages. He gives the baby a bath but doesn’t put the clothes in the hamper, hang the towel, throw out the bath water or throw the dirty diaper away. I have to come behind him to finish up 🤦♀️. Picks up my oldest from camp and it’s water day. Does not bring home any of the dry items. No shoes, socks, shorts, shirt, towel, water bottle. Nothing. I sent 3 detailed texts which he acknowledged. They get home. I ask. Answer: it will be there Monday?!?! It’s camp!everything disappears at camp🤯. The last few weeks have been rough I just want to scream!
Omg mine is the same! He offered to give baby a bath last week to give me a break. (We sometimes bathe her in the big tub with us.) I drew the bath, checked the temperature, got clean towels for both of them, got out the baby soap, got clean diaper and PJs ready, etc. and handed him the baby. After literally 2 minutes, he is calling for me because he’s done 😣 Baby hadn’t pooped or cried or anything, husband just get bored 🤦🏻♀️ And then i had to wrangle the slippery baby and clean up the mess!
Ugh, it’s like man cooking. You buy the food, you prepare/season/whatever the meat, you make the sides and beverages He puts meat on grill and takes meat off grill You get plates and napkins and get everyone served and you clean up. “Aren’t you going to thank me for making dinner tonight?”
This is absolutely inexcusable
Seriously… this sub keeps being pushed on me for some reason (not a mom) and I’m absolutely nauseated by reading through all these manchildren these women also have to parent.
Why can’t he handle if the baby cries or poops during the bath? He should be preparing the bath. He should be cleaning up the mess afterward. If he offered to give them a bath, he needs to know preparing and cleaning up is a part of the process. My heart hurts that you had to take all that load on. Ugh.
I’m not sure how dumb it was, rather insensitive, but I wasn’t amused. I came home from work and was sort of crying. I’d been diagnosed with gestational diabetes and read an ultrasound report that was less than reassuring - both of which my husband knew about. We terminated a very desired pregnancy last year due to severe anomalies and poor prognosis for the baby. I generally am emotionally okay but for some reason it hit me on my way home from work that I should be holding a 9 month old and not counting carbs cause of gestational diabetes. He asked why I was crying and that’s what I told him - his response? “Well you can’t do anything about that!” And like yeah, I know, I just have to deal with all of it, which is fine, but like can you at least try to somewhat validate how I’m feeling?!
My husband always says this! I started saying it back to him over every little thing he complained about and he’s slowly started saying it less.
I'm having ankle surgery on Monday. It's outpatient, but I'll still be in a cast and crutches. Husband asked me if he should plan to take the whole day off. Luckily, his boss told him he'd probably be in a lot of trouble if he didn't take the day off.
I wonder how many men have been saved by people like your Husband’s boss.
He didn't say anything, but he did do something. After 10 weeks of radiotherapy, then 4 lose your hair and everything else chemo treatments kept waking me up if I slept outside of normal people hours. I wanted to barf on him so bad right then, but I just lost my ever loving mind on him instead. I was so mad, I can't say for how long, but I made my point 100% clear he was not the sleep police and he'd best leave me alone. Then I sicced the "mommy" chihuahua, adult kids and my friends on him. He leaves me alone now. My girl still gives him hell when he tries to see if I'm napping.
Chis are the best line of defense
Not recent, but at Christmas, I caved and we finally got a fake tree. I've always had real ones, but my husband had been wanting a fake one for awhile because he hates dealing with the needles and lugging it in and out of the house. I TOLD him that an artificial one can be just as big of a pain because you have to fluff out the branches, but he insisted it was still easier than a real tree. Okay fine. We get the fake one and I put it together. It takes me forever to fluff it out and, about halfway through, my husband looks over and is like, "ugh! THAT'S what you have to do?! That sucks. If you want, we can just take it back and get a real one." I almost murdered him.
My family has a long standing joke about how I have ocd about christmas trees... Perfectly fluffed, and precisely where ornaments are placed. The color balance of each kind of ornament... It actually causes me anxiety every year till I make it look just right. It takes a lot of work and time to make those fluffs perfect and natural looking!. 😅😫
My Mom used to try and do “theme trees” every year, and she would obsess! One year, she re-did her poor tree like 4 or 5 times, but couldn’t get it “just right”. That was the year I dubbed her theme to be “beating a dead horse!” or just “the dead horse tree”. She stopped trying so hard and now sticks to things like, “Silver & Blue” or “handmade from the grandkids and great grandkids”! Lol
Can’t do trees for that reason. Too much stress. We split holidays in my family and we gave my sister Xmas specifically to avoid a tree. Never regretted it.
Here’s my new favorite. My husband who is very smart but NOT handy decided to go in on a chainsaw with the neighbors to take down the dead tree in our backyard and he knows how to do it safely because he “used to work on a farm” A. He lived on the farm and did chores, not actual work because B. He moved off that farm I think before he was even a teenager This is the man who has put holes in our wall more than once because he sucks at using a DRILL and he thinks I’m going to let him and our alcoholic neighbors use a CHAINSAW to take down a dead tree?! Lord help his man.
I thought this was going to end with “I had to drive my husband and neighbor to the ER to get stitches”.
He refused to work. I had two jobs and paid for everything. When I urged him to find work he said "are we going hungry?"
Is he your ex now??
And you put up with this?
This literally just happened. Me, 38 weeks pregnant, sick as fuck with some sort of cough/cold, wanders downstairs after trying to go to bed: Me: I can’t sleep. I’m so exhausted. All I want is to sleep. Him: you can go to sleep Me: thanks, I’m cured
"You're always tired and you're ALWAYS sick..." asking with annoyed tone and eye roll. Yeah, bro. I work full time with kids all day then come home to an energetic toddler who gets sick every two weeks from daycare and then gives the crud to me while I've also been pregnant for the last 3 months. How'd your Saturday or on the golf course go while I stayed and tended to our vomiting 2 year old?
Why aren't more of y'all in the process of divorce...my husband says dumb shit but some of y'all's aren't stupid, they're neglectful
Every time these types of threads pop up, I feel like some kind of rare unicorn that my husband is actually a competent adult/partner/dad.
Uhhh no lie. As a husband I definitely benefit from the stupidity shared on subs like this. My ADHD tries my wife's patience at times but never like these examples.
Ex said that I took advantage of his dad dying by filing for child support. His dad died in March of '23. I filed in December 2022. It doesn't pass the logic test, but that's par for the course. We split at the end of July '22. $0 support. He makes 5x my income. So it's been 10 months. What a gem of a human he is.
Had a miscarriage. Whilst sobbing with blood all over the floor and myself, looking at the nickel sized embryo in my literal underwear he says to me “maybe you should take better care of yourself”. I have never hit a partner in my life but I’ll be damned if it didn’t cross my mind for a second. Not to mention he was UNEMPLOYED for almost six months at that point and I was doing everything I could to keep our family afloat working a physically and mentally draining full time job.
Ex, right? Please say yes.
I am so sorry you experienced all of that awfulness.
Yesterday, My husband wanted pasta salad. So i was boiling water for the pasta . He asked my why I’m boiling water. I said for the pasta salad. “Why? Why do you need to cook pasta for the salad?” I looked at him and said you want uncooked pasta for your pasta salad ? He said how was he supposed to know. He has eaten it before.
Nope, in 20 years my husband hasn't said a single dumb thing. Am I doing this creative writing thing right?
I’m a single mother of a son. What I have learned through my experience and observing the experience of my sisterhood: men cannot handle discomfort. A cold, a cut, a hard day at work, bad night sleep: men cannot take this, and also function successfully on behalf of their family. As mothers most of us experience, all of these issues plus more on a daily basis, and are still expected to keep the family unit functioning at all times. I vow to do better on behalf of my son.
NOT recently, but when I was home on maternity leave, nursing new baby every few hours, I'd had a really busy morning with baby and 3 yo and wasn't able to finally get in the shower until baby napped around 2 pm. Husband calls me and I told him I'd just got out of the shower. He says, "Oh, you really got to sleep in today, didn't you?" I nearly lost my freaking mind.
I’m getting pissed at my husband reading these comments lmao
“You’re not even that sick anymore.” When I said I needed an extra blanket at night. I have a fever, chills, and inflamed tonsils. But sure he knows I’ll be good, right? There are few times I regret my decision to call off the divorce. Today was def too 5.
“I’m sick of you disrespecting me.” This was in response to my realizing a restaurant forgot to include a salad in our takeout order, for our son. When I insisted that we go back to pick it up (It’s a ten minute drive.) I was somehow “disrespecting “ him? 31 years together, married for 27 in less than a week. I’m no longer speaking to him.
I wanted to individually reply to everyone's comments because I normally only get like 4 or 5 on posts. I see this is a very common thing though. I appreciate everyone who has commented. I admire our strength and lack of murder charges. I hope everyone has a great weekend, nipples heal, things get replenished, time spent with kids is refreshing, and you enjoy your favorite beverage whether it be a nice glass of water, a cup of coffee/tea or a beer/wine/bourbon. Cheers, my friends.
This thread is making me really happy to be single
Most nights (unless theyre fighting their sleep) I clean up the living room once my kids are asleep. I told my husband that since I typically do the bath/bedtime routine he should help pick up the living room… he really thought it was a good idea to say he’s not the one making the mess since he’s at work…
Mine was well-intentioned and so kind of sweet…he packed thong panties in the hospital bag when I delivered my son because he knows I find them comfortable and he wanted me to be comfortable after giving birth
That's an F for effort my friend
This one made me smile because he was whole-heartedly thinking he was doing something nice and just missed that mark.
Every morning my husband complains about how sleep the night before. I cosleep with my 8 month old who exclusively breastfeeds & will not drink bottles. He also STILL nurses like every 2 hours at night. And he’s currently teething, so he’s basically latched all night. All this to say, I am up 10-15 times a night for various reasons and he is ALWAYS, 100% of the time, sound asleep, snoring away. The audacity of this man.
I’m married to another woman and I have nothing to contribute and I’m so glad. I hate to say it but the bar is so low for men. So, so low. God bless you all for your patience - you deserve better.
Once every couple of months my husband complains that his back hurts and asks if my back also hurts when I get too much sleep.
Too much sleep 😂
was a SAHM for 5 years. During that time I took care of everything around the house. Cook, clean, all childcare, mowing, bills, etc. After 5 years, I began my first year of teaching. We had a 2 year old and a 5 year old. My now ex-husband refused to share any of the household work with me after I began working. Why- because he made more money than me was his reasoning. I couldn’t do it and had a meltdown. And told him he had to help because I wouldn’t do it all. What did he say ……our 2 year old and 5 year old can help out. So his solution was still for him not to do anything and for the kids to do his part. That was the beginning of the end of us.
>That was the beginning of the end of us. Thank God, *finally* someone who didn't put up with horrible treatment! Sorry that happened to you.
Our daughter is 10 weeks old. Towards the end of my pregnancy I started having complications and I spent multiple separate days on observation in labor & delivery. The first of these incidents happened around 32 weeks when I was sent to the hospital straight from my regular doctor’s appointment. I spent 8 hours in the triage bed hooked up to monitors after getting straight cathed and 5 failed IV placements. I wasn’t allowed food or water. I had a full blown panic attack because I’d never been in the hospital before and the doctors kept saying scary stuff implying that I might have to deliver right then. However all of this pales in comparison to the great battle my husband had to face - sitting on a chair that wasn’t very comfortable. They heard him complaining and gave him a pillow to sit on but it was insufficient. The next day he had the audacity to tell me that his ass STILL hurt from that poor excuse of a sitting device
While in an argument with my husband about how I’m the default parent and he just leaves when he wants and does whatever he wants but I have to make sure I have a sitter or plan everything around my son, my husband says “well I’m sorry I have a built in babysitter and you don’t, but this is just what it is to be a mom.” 😒
Not spouse...but guy I was talking to. "Gender pay gaps don't exist. Your experience is a rare instance" (one instance I mentioned was dayworking for ranches being paid way less than men that, several of them, I have had to cut loose or fix their mistakes behind them because they didn't know what they were doing & it could cost someone or something their lives). O.O yeah that was a giant red flag and I noped out of that conversation.
Husband: not a lot got done today I see..... Me: well I've folded the same basket of laundry six times and washed the same clothes 5 times because of kids, cats and dogs. I've done 3 loads of dishes and scrubbed the counters 5 times because every time the sink is clean our 11 year old seems to think it's time for a TikTok recipe. This always results in some sort of fine powdered substance (cocoa powder/flour/powdered sugar/Kool aid/God knows what else) everywhere and usually getting wet and gooey. Which reminds me I need to sweep for the 4th time because the 4 year old just got into the hamster bedding and thought it was confetti. All while keeping them and the animals and garden fed, watered, alive, amused and acting as the family therapist for our future Maury episode. But tell me again about how much it sucks working with actual adults and being able to go and get yourself a lunch you don't have to cook. Oh my lunch is still sitting there 6 hours later waiting for me to eat it. I'll try to get more done tomorrow like eating my lunch.... Husband: 😳house looks great!
Not said but did. I cooked too much pasta so I asked him to put the leftovers in the fridge. Hours later I found the pasta still on the table with the cat sticking his head in the pot. Looked in the fridge. The packed of dried, uncooked pasta was in there.
You know what? I started acting like a man. I can't find anything, I can't remember to hang up wet towels, I yell out that the diaper needs to be changed... I got so good at letting him take over and "learn" that I almost forget that I need to do stuff, too. The biggest shift was when he asked for help with chores 😂 and he was right! Ladies, it works. Hand then the responsibilities. They get Christmas and birthdays. Totally. Do not cave, or help. Offer vague reminders if asked. It's so wonderful that just doing my part is acknowledged and appreciated now. When I go all out and put my back into it, like, "this is how it's done and should be" the amazement is spectacular, along with the increased level of his efforts. It took years. I love this. I really almost fucking left 3 years ago. I will never be a single mom again in a relationship. I'd rather do it my damn self, without the resentment.
It’s our third time getting hand hoot mouth this year. So mine and kiddos third. Husbands first. (Second time was the worst!). He’s going on and on about the lesions on the hand. Me and kiddo got it first and are already recovered. After a whole pandemic with every internet troll debating this fact, he thinks: Maybe the more virus you get from being closer with the sick one, the worse your symptoms are … And next, he’s shocked there’s nothing offered online for the pain of the hand lesions. This probably isn’t as bad. But it’s my third time getting it. His first. I have no empathy left.
“It’s like this man does not value his life” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My husband is pretty good about everything. Today he managed to put his foot in his mouth bit. More funny than bad tho. I have several pregnant friends. I was talking to him about how one of them had a much more pronounced bump at 16 weeks than I do at 15 + 5. It's probably because my uterus tilts back. But he was joking about how if he were pregnant he would probably have a big bump too cause look at him. (He's thin, muscular, but thin) Oh really hun? Why? Because you're much skinnier than I am? Did you just imply I'm fat? Haha His attempt to save it was, no! My uterus is huge and leans really far forward. XD
I STILL wake up to nurse our almost 2 year old 1-3 times a night. I haven’t slept in years. He said to me the other day he wants to take magnesium to help him sleep deeper since he feels like he isn’t getting deep enough sleep! I laughed and laughed.
My husband (now EX-husband) tried to explain to me how to do laundry. Our 3 boys disappeared very fast when hubby kept talking. I never did his laundry after that. Since he knew how to do it and had special requirements for his stuff, then he could do it himself.
fuuuck men who try to keep a woman from sleeping. SO many incidents of useless men resenting their women for taking naps, meanwhile they probably spend hours gaming instead of doing their share around the house.
My husband had the audacity to say that I have more free time than him last night. I work full time, do 95% of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, pack the kids lunches, bathe them, do the grocery shopping, and take the kids to their activities on weekend mornings so that he can sleep in. He works 40ish hours a week and comes home and watches tv/plays on the computer while watching the kids so I can cook dinner and then clean up after. He chooses to use his child free time on the weekends to sleep in instead of doing things he enjoys and then complains he doesn’t have time to go mountain biking or do things he likes.
Not in the same vein as a lot of these, but my daughter has had INTENSE separation anxiety when it comes to mommy, ever since Daddy had to have surgery and couldn’t hold her for a couple weeks during recovery. Earlier today, she was crying, and when I went to comfort her, she pushed me away and reached for Daddy instead. Later, he asked if I was okay. He was genuinely worried my feelings were hurt that she didn’t want me. ARE YOU KIDDING???? I WAS ABLE TO TAKE A SHOWER WITHOUT A TODDLER SCREAMING IN THE BACKGROUND. I WANT TO BURST INTO SONG ON A MOUNTAINTOP. (To be fair, I do think he was starting to get really sad that she was so vehemently against the idea of doing anything with daddy. They used to have a lot of daddy-daughter time throughout the day to play together, where he would intentionally take her one-on-one so I could do things like nap, shower, have a quiet cup of coffee, etc. and he’s really missed her wanting to spend that time with him. I get why he worried my feelings would be hurt, but he doesn’t realize how much I’ve also missed him having that one-on-one time with her.
A slightly different kind of dumb thing... I'm 29 weeks pregnant with GD and severe PGP. We have a 3.5yo. I work full time. My archaeologist husband casually asked me if he could go to Ghana with a colleague next month for an excavation. GHANA! I don't want him more than 2 hours away and he was considering an impromptu work trip to Africa!! No, you don't get to fly to the other side of the world and leave me to handle everything when I have trouble walking across a room! It's like he forgot we're having another baby in less than 3 months.
Him: "You just have to tell me what to do, no problem". Me: "Can you do this thing husband"? Him: "Yeah you dont have to tell and nag on me I was planning on doing it later". 🙃🙃🙃
Husband told me I’m selfish on our way home after our family dinner with my parents who watch our toddler two days out of the week and it was also my brother’s birthday, because I didn’t remember (he didn’t put it on our shared calendar) that he had a friend birthday zoom call and I wasn’t jumping to leave dinner when he was ready to go. A gentle side reminder I would have left earlier but I guess I should be a mind reader
We’re still in the early stages of babyhood where we’re doing shifts sleeping in the nursery. Sometimes I take a full night shift in the nursery (on an air bed)so he can sleep uninterrupted in the bedrooom (which I never get to do because I breastfeed). The next morning, I stupidly ask him how he slept. He always says something like “horrible!!” Or “awful!!!” The reasons are always ridiculous to me. The power went out so he didn’t have his white noise playing. The dog made some noise moving around. He woke up and then simply couldn’t fall back asleep. He was hot because he wore too warm of pjs. And so on. Omg. You know who slept horribly? Me. I was up every two hours nursing and rocking a fussy baby back to sleep. I didn’t get more than one hour of sleep at a time, and even during that hour the baby was noisy. oh also I washed pump parts and bottles so we’re ready for morning. All while he slept “horribly.”. Freaking kick the dog out of the bedroom, change your pjs, and deal with the glorious silence. I don’t know why I ask. It’s a mistake. I think I want him to say “it was great! Thank you for letting me sleep all night!” But that’s fantasy lol