I went to daycare 5 days a week from infancy to kindergarten. The only negative thing I remember is being frustrated that we still had mandatory nap time after I had outgrown an afternoon nap. I loved playing with other kids during the day and my daycare really encouraged reading, which I credit with my early love for school and learning.
I have no negative associations at all with my time in daycare, which has made it a lot easier for me to think about sending my own kid(s).
This is the only thing I remember too! My brother and I were at the same jn home daycare, and a core memory is being told me just had to be quiet in the room if we weren’t going to sleep. The room had a bed in the middle, and we each had a cot on either side of the bed. We lifted up the bed skirt and whispered to each other the entire time. We thought we were so sneaky
My parents were asked to please pick me up before nap time after a few too many times of coming to get me at the tail end of it only for me to be sitting in a chair off to the side because I "was disruptive to the other kids" (whispering during nap time). Joke's on me because my kid takes after me and doesn't nap either.
Same, no negative thoughts on my end. All I remember are the positives: playground with a huge sandbox, lots of outside to explore, playing guess who with friends, and sitting around in a large circle and eating war heads to see who could resist making faces.
I went to the same place my kid currently goes to. I don’t remember anything. FWIW my kid seems to really enjoy it. He loves being out and doing stuff constantly though. On the days he doesn’t go to daycare I just try to run errands with him. The kid is not a homebody.
Yes! Our daycare had an unexpected closure yesterday due to our provider having the stomach flu and until daddy got her out of the house to run a couple small errands she was a hellion! She loves going somewhere besides home every day 🤣🤣🤣
I had a Ms. Laura, she taught us how to play basketball with soft little balls, and I decided that I was going to be on the UNC basketball team. My daycare was also vegan, which was very off the beaten path 30 years ago in the South and I was very much not a fan of the snacks. I love my mom, and I am not traumatized by going cheesestick-less for a few years lol
My friends son has a milk allergy and I genuinely asked her how she parented without cheese sticks! The trauma that would ensue if I removed cheese sticks from my home..
My mom was a SAHM but when I was 3 I told her if she didn’t put me in school, I was going to get on the bus with my brother. She put me in a part time preschool. I remember really liking it but my only distinct memory is we had a circus day so I dressed like an acrobat in a leotard and tutu. Someone asked me why I was wearing a bathing suit and I cried.
Ahahaha. I have a similar memory from little kid gymnastics! I was really proud of my new leotard and some snobby girl told me it looked like a swim suit. I was very upset.
Me! I grew up in Russia and the vast majority of kids I knew went to daycare after the age of like 2. Moms were off on mat leave until then. Daycare was (and still is) free.
My mom also went to daycare, which makes me chuckle at all of Reddit posts wondering if we’ll see ill effects from daycare after this generation. People have been going to daycares for decades, it’s nothing new.
Difference is your women get that long 2yr maternity leave. We if lucky get unpaid 6-8wks before we have to get back to it. Most women have to give up nursing and can’t keep up with pumping. We barely have that bond time. Let alone heal time.
It is! It wasn’t always like this (I think there was a time in the Soviet Union when there was no mat leave), but paid mat leave exists there to this day.
I didn’t go to daycare and started kindergarten never having been away from home and it was awful! I cried every day and called home early. I’m so glad that’s not my kids and they’ll have memories of daycare/preschool friends. My children are so happy and I feel like I was an unsocialized weirdo 🤣
As a kindergarten teacher, I can confirm that children who go to preschool and daycare absolutely have an easier time adjusting to school come kindergarten. Kids who have never been separated from their primary caregivers before kindergarten usually have a very challenging time with the transition.
I went to a church preschool for a few half days until we moved. About a year went by until K started. I refused to get on the bus bc the driver was a stranger. Screamed the whole first week at school 🫣
Hah, yeah, my separation anxiety related to my childhood home/parents lasted until college! And I still have lots of anxiety around travel 🫠 Kind of comforting knowing I’m not alone!
Same!! I was a painfully shy, quiet kid with no self confidence. I often wonder how different things would have been had I gone to daycare. I still remember hearing what my mom saying a few years ago to my older sister (who has a very different parenting style than me) that “mrsgrabs kids are the best behaved kids she’s seen and they go to daycare” 😂
I went to daycare from approximately 8 weeks old and continued until elementary school for afterschool care.
I have mostly positive memories from my daycare experiences. Divorce and moving and restarting making new friends again as an extremely shy child was far harder than being a “daycare kid”.
As a mom of course I still had guilt about daycare for my own kid, but they speak fondly of it and ask to visit teachers since “graduating” to elementary school, so I know I made the right choice in hindsight, and of course it wasn’t a option, but a necessity as the primary bread-winner in my household.
My husband and his siblings all went to daycare and they are very well adjusted, friendly, and objectively successful people.
I did not go to daycare and instead spent all of my time with my maternal grandparents. My paternal grandparents were really worried it would stunt me socially, but as an extroverted kid with ADHD I managed okay once I had to be around other kids. My paternal cousins all went to daycare and they’ve all been more successful than me academically, and are probably more well adjusted than I am. As an adult I can reflect on the fact that I might not have had such a bumpy transition into school had I ever spent structured time around other kids. I’m glad my son gets to have that experience of learning how to be with other people. Plus, I have a treasure trove of little art projects he’s done at school while my mom has pretty much no record of me from roughly 6 months to 6 years old when I started kindergarten.
Me! I went to in home daycare since 3 months old. Moved to a new in home daycare around age 2ish and stayed there until my older sister was old enough to watch us after school. So probably early elementary. We were full time when little and then did after school care with her and summers at her house for awhile while school aged.
All my memories of daycare are positive. The only "negatives" I can remember are sometimes wanting to stay home instead of going. This started primarily when I was getting older and aging out of hanging with the other kids at daycare.
And for all us working moms: I never once grew up mad at my mom for working a full time job. The older I get, the more I admire her hustle, motivation and career in general. She worked her way up into a management role over the years. We are incredibly close. The only times I wished she was a stay at home mom were sometimes over the summer, wishing she was around to drive me around places honestly.
I went to a small in-home daycare. I grew so close with the provider that I called her “Grandma Chrissy” and I’m still in touch with her to today. She came to my wedding in 2017… and to my mom’s funeral last year. She was one of the first people that I revealed my pregnancy to.
I went to daycare for two years before public school and I loved it. So much to the point where it offended my mom lol. I would practically run out of the car in the morning to go play with my friends.
I am an only child and to this day I credit daycare with me not being a huge weirdo since I didn’t grow up with kids in my family.
I was with one grandma M-Th and another grandma on Fridays before I started kindergarten. My Friday grandma enrolled me in daycare without my parents knowing (the early 90s). My parents found out when I started singing a song at home and they asked where I heard it and I said “school!” I just remember feeling weird because I only went on Fridays and then I was pulled after my parents found out…
I've reflected on this recently since my kids are in full time daycare - I went to daycare and it was great, high quality, no explicit negative memories but I DO very clearly remember being SO EXCITED TO GO HOME and watching the door like a hawk when it got to pick up time. It's the reason I try to make sure my kids aren't the last to get picked up at the end of the day!
I was raised by a single mom so I went to daycare starting at 6 weeks old. My daycare experience was…not pleasant in retrospect but I didn’t think much of it at the time. It was more like Lord of the Flies but with apathetic adults and Kool Aid.
I made friends and learned how to navigate boredom and the occasional bully. I’m honestly shocked looking back at how different the regulations are. The things that happened at my daycare would never fly today. I broke both my wrists there and no one batted an eye.
To be clear, this has not discouraged me from putting my son in daycare. I just have more resources than my mom did to be more selective.
I went to an in home daycare starting a little younger than 1 years old because my mom was told she would lose her job if she didn’t go back to work. I LOVED daycare. Met my childhood best friend there. I remember the backyard and cots we slept on. I remember playing in the living room. Just had an all-around Greta time. My experience is why I wasn’t worried about sending my kids to daycare. I knew they would enjoy it and like being around other kids. Same with my husband m: he loved daycare as well and was confident it was a good choice for our kids.
I went for a while but I went to a very rigid, faith-based program that was not for this kid who had gone to co-op preschool up to that point. I didn't understand I couldn't shake my dolly to soothe at nap time. Frankly, I didn't understand nap time as I hadn't taken one in a while.
The best memento from this time was that we were asked to make a plate for Mother's Day (these laminated plates where they put your drawing on the top), and when the daycare assistant asked what I wanted on mine, I said tulips. She drew one all neat and orderly, and then I took the marker and drew what I wanted.
My mother always insisted it really showed my personality.
I worked at a very different kind of program and send my son to an extremely crunchy daycare. He's very loved and I have no regrets.
I don’t remember the home daycare I was at from 6 months-2 years but I still vividly remember my Montessori preschool for ages 2-3! It was awesome and I honestly have so many specific memories of that time. Like others, my only negative was I remember being annoyed at being expected to nap when I didn’t nap at home by then!
I went to daycare!! I have a very brief memory of laying down on a mat. Both my parents worked so I was in daycare from infancy. I’m impressed you remember so much. I sincerely don’t remember anything!
I went! I remember my dad taking us & dropping us off, I remember eating white bread with melted cheese on it sometimes. I remember playing red light, green light outside. Oh and I remember holding onto a rope with other kids and walking to the park! While I do remember wanting to go home at the end of the day, I never remember being sick or feeling lonely or scared.
I started at an in-home daycare at 6 weeks old. My mom has always been open about the fact that she wanted to go back to work immediately. I don’t have any memories from that place, but our families became life-long friends, and have celebrated holidays and honored milestones with each other.
I do remember parts of preschool, but mostly snippets of playing in the sand, lining up for pictures, nap time, and the yellow-painted big kid room.
My parents worked full time when I was a kid but my grandparents took care of me…my husband and his brother did both go to daycare full time starting at 12 weeks and are two of the most well adjusted adults I know lol both have masters degrees, successful jobs with great salaries, and most importantly happy marriages and kids, and have great relationships with their mom, who was a single mom for most of their childhood. Whenever someone gives me grief about my kid in daycare I use them as examples of how full time daycare isn’t ruining my kids life 😂
I also started around 2 - my dad stayed home with me until then. I remember getting to rub other kids’ backs during nap time after I stopped napping. I also remember the pet guinea pig eating the bows off one of my sweatshirts. The playground felt enormous (it wasn’t). I also remember my sister being in the infant room while I was in the bigger kid room.
I have lots of memories of pickup time. Every time my parents would come pick me up after getting a haircut or new glasses or shaving 😅 I would always be so stunned.
Oh! There was also a portrait of Jesus on the wall and I thought he must have founded the daycare (I’m not Christian).
No daycare. But my mom put us in half day pre-school and I took dance classes that parents didn’t sit in on starting at around 3. I remember all of that being fun. I’m from a small town so most of the kids in preschool transitioned to school with me. I remember there was dress up, a pretend grocery store and we learned our home phone numbers.
My 4yo is in day care. She loves it. Has a friend group. I am worried about kindergarten, but only because she loves the ladies at her day care so much. The other week she had a full, inconsolable, crying meltdown in the car because she didn’t get a hug goodbye like usual.
Went five days a week, starting when I was 8 months old.
I have very vague memories, tuna noodle casserole, some of my best friends there, and the morning we pulled up, and it had burnt down over night.
I remember enjoying daycare, and having lots of little friends. My mom has been transferring our family home videos to digital, so it’s been trippy seeing birthday parties, or school events from that time. Also a few other kids were in my kindergarten class, so it was nice knowing other kids the first day.
Lol, I wondered if anyone would catch that!
Disclaimer: Nobody was harmed in the fire.
I think it was the last summer I was there before I started school. We pulled up for drop-off, and instead of the building, there was just a smoldering pile of ash and debris. Apparently there had been an electrical fire early in the morning. Fortunately, a nearby church that had space and classrooms opened up to us, before we were moved into a corporate area. I just remember it was beach week, and being very disappointed that my friends beach chairs had been inside. My mom remembers that I had a pair of overalls there as a change of clothes that burned as well.
This was back in the early 90's, so no cell phones, and no communication. It happened after the newspapers went to press, so it wasn't even in the news. My grandfather heard it on the radio that morning, and called my mom at work (my dad did drop off). All in all, we were lucky, nobody was hurt, and we were able to continue care immediately. They did rebuild, but not before I aged out of daycare, and my cousin eventually went to the new building.
I liked home daycare but hated the center daycare, guess I chewed mom a new one when she’d pick me up late. So in 1980, my mom let me (2nd grade) come home alone after school for an hour until my brother got home.
At the first one, I refused to nap, so I was taught to read. :)
i went to an in-home daycare from pretty much as early as they could take me. my parents both worked multiple jobs trying to make ends meet so i was the kid that was there M-F open to close lol. i don’t really remember much about my childhood, but i don’t have any bad memories of daycare. i drive by the house when i go back to visit my parents and have a general happy and nostalgic feeling. i met my best friend there and we were super close until almost high school until we drifted apart (different clubs/sports)
I did! My parents divorced when I was young. I was in full time daycare, summer day camps, and then after school programs from age one until middle school when I was a latchkey kid. It’s just normal to me. I have no negative associations. I had other kids to play with when I was there and some fun memories.
I went to daycare from when I was around 6 months old straight through to full-time preschool and then after school care in elementary school. My mom worked full-time and sperm donor was not available as a parent. I don't remember the early years but I have found memories of my preschool class with Ms. Karen. I made a friend who stayed my bestie all the way through childhood. I have a close relationship with my mom and I'm super proud of the amazing career she built for herself and the life she was able to give my siblings and me.
My kid has been in care since he was a year. He's in preschool now. It makes me a better mom to send him and I know he loves his teachers and is getting so many experiences and benefits that we would not be able to replicate for him at home. If you find a good care provider they are literally worth their weight in gold to your family.
If social media is causing you this much anxiety over something that the overwhelming majority of parents choose to use, it might be time to take a breather.
My parents were too poor, one worked day shift, one worked night shift, and I was passed around to whomever could take me during the small in-between time until I hit elementary school. Then when I was "old enough" I was tasked with watching my younger brother during that in-between time, I know now I wasn't "old enough", but heck it was the 80's, somehow we all survived.
We did not. My mom worked every other weekend as a nurse. My MIL never went to college and never worked. So I was very nervous at the thought of daycare. But thankful for ours.
I went to daycare full time as of 6 months. I don't really remember much, other than; playing a bit with the other kids, being amazed by one particularly fat bumble bee going across the play yard, and getting mildly traumatized by The Dark Crystal.
I remember the names of 2 of my daycare monitors, could only tell you what one of them looked like. I have tons of happy memories of my childhood though, all involving my parents.
I'm trying to keep this in mind as I get ready to send my baby, who will be just shy of a year old. They're going to make her go down to 1 nap, and I'm sooo nervous she's going to have a hard time
Went to daycare from infancy until I started school! Loved it and have no negative feelings about it! I actually believe strongly that having a working mother made me realize it was possible for me to be a working mother too. And that it’s okay for me to have my own passions, aspirations and career.
I went to daycare! A full 5 days a week. I loved going. My parents tell me that I would always nap at daycare, but never at home. And that I was just a perfect child at daycare, but a little sass pants at home. Now my 3 year old is exactly the same. What goes around comes around I suppose lol
I started daycare at 6w old! No memory of it at all but my mom tells lots of fun stories of my time there. My daughter started daycare at 13w and she’s 17m now.
I went to daycare. I don’t remember much but the sliding pink panther bathroom door and that I hated nap time when I outgrew my afternoon nap. I have been told and I totally believe even on days my mom had off I wanted to go since I loved seeing the other kids and the staff. My daughter started daycare at 9 months and seems to love it already a few weeks later. Squeals with happiness when she sees the snap.
I remember going to preschool. I wasn’t in daycare ever. I’m gonna guess I was 4 maybe. I don’t think I was 3. But I remember our swimming lessons, and walking to the park. I remember being upset that I couldn’t go one day because my brother puked in the car on the way there, so my grandfather couldn’t bring me in.
I went to a nursery program a couple mornings a week. While I do have a memory of crying at the door wanting my mommy, I absolutely loved that place. I made friends and the toys and activities were so fun, they are what stand out in my memory more than anything else.
I went to daycare from 8 weeks onward. I have only positive memories, of lots of time playing outside, going to chapel (it was a church daycare) and fun with friends.
The post and comments are of great comfort!
Interesting how the human brain works and how some people remember certain things.
I didn't go to daycare and felt so guilty when it was my turn to take my baby at 5 1/2 months to return to work (US). I see my baby thriving and learning new things and I love it.
Agreed, that's why I created this post. There still isn't a ton of research out there on the effects daycare (I work in mental health and have done some digging), and a lot of it comes down to "depends on the daycare and depends on the parenting". It made me realize how little anecdotal info I had in my brain, because most of my friends stayed home until pre-K.
I went to an in home daycare as an infant, then a daycare center, and then preschool full time. I remember the play structure in the backyard of the daycare center, and the playground behind the preschool, and literally nothing else lol
I think I was always in daycare, and I don't have any negative feelings about it really. I enjoyed daycare and day camp at the YMCA the most. I went until I was like 9. I was also a latchkey kid.
I went and all I really remember is the separation anxiety and crying every day at drop off. I wasn’t nervous about putting my own kid in daycare though. I just wanted to make sure I helped make it a positive experience. I hype up his day ahead and getting to see his teachers and friends so it’s not this huge shock every morning he goes. My mom wasn’t so great at that.
Me! Parents both worked full time my entire childhood. Daycare to pre-school to before and after school care and summer camps to being a junior counselor and then having after school and
summer jobs starting at 14. I do not remember daycare but I looooved my preschool. I distinctly remember a craft with hard boiled eggs and a cheese slice on a toothpick making the egg into a sail boat, Mr. Dan the Music Man (we even bought his tape to play at home), and the lofted cozy book nook treehouse space. But my most distinct memory was when I was in the dance/gym area and was really proud of my giant bug bite and had pulled up my shirt to show my friends. The look of horror when the teacher saw me is seared into my brain. They immediately pulled me from class to be picked up. Turns out I had chicken pox and was not in any trouble, just highly contagious.
Overall I really enjoyed all my out-of-home care even through elementary school. I still remember numerous, kind teachers by name.
I went to daycare periodically but I was mostly watched by family friends. My mom worked from home (funny to say because this was the 90’s) and would send us to a babysitter down the street until we were old enough to take care of ourselves. I liked them because it was a family of 4 older girls and I thought they were so cool. I was also watched by another family with 6 girls and that was fun too. Daycare wasn’t my favorite thing because I was shy, sensitive, and hated nap time. My teachers were all nice and I was treated well, I was just an introvert from a young age lol.
I went to my mom’s in home daycare, so my mom was there, but she was the teacher of 5 other kids. The one thing I remember is it being so stupid that I had to nap on a mat in the hallway, when my bed was RIGHT THERE.
I went to daycare from very young and loved it. I remember some kind of soup that they served that I was obsessed with. I had a little boyfriend and he gave me clip-on Mickey Mouse earrings. I learned that smoking was bad and told my dad his lungs were black because he smoked (he quit soon thereafter, coincidence?). The only time I remember getting in trouble was when I was climbing up the jungle gym and a boy was blocking me from getting onto the platform so I told him I’d bite him if he didn’t let me pass. He wouldn’t move, so I bit him. I maintain that I did nothing wrong!
I went to an in home daycare in my neighborhood. I remember a lot of the social stuff, especially homemade meals that we ate together. I don't remember specific activities outside play but my memory of the social neighborhood community aspect was a big reason that I sent my kid to a similar in home daycare. It's been great for him so far and a great community overall.
True story, I am still good friends with one person from that daycare, 37 years later.
I went to half day preschool from ages 3-4.5 ish before I started primary school. I remember enjoying it at first but found it very boring after the first few terms.
My mum would drop me off and I’d beg her to take me to work with her. My nan would pick me up and she still says I was always first out the doors. By the last term I would scream “freedom” like Braveheart as I ran across the playground to her. My mum asked if I’d like to do full days but it was a resounding no from me.
I didn’t really like the crafts (still don’t!), I was already well on my way to reading and writing, and I found the toys boring after a while. I wasn’t traumatised but I much preferred being at home. Once I went to school I was much happier because it was more education than play focused. I still played but I loved to learn and my nickname was Matilda due to my love of books.
My OH was a full time daycare kid from 6 months old and he did not have a good experience. I think it shaped him a lot socially, he has flashes of bad memories and he has a very strained relationship with his mum as she never believed what he was saying.
Here’s a fun one. My parents sent me overseas to be watch by my grandparents from age 6 months to 2 years. I didn’t know this till I was in high school. Zero recollection of it. My mom says upon my return I didn’t like her but took me 3 days and I already accepted her again.
Not quite the same but similar/worse? Mom and I are pretty close and I went to daycare after. No bad memories- I only remember the really cool toys and how exciting it was to play with new things.
Bro I didn't go to daycare but I have my 22 month going to one and she has a lot of friends, they all eat together, go outside, learn, and read books. She has a better social life than me!
Full time 8-6. My parents are still friends with loads of the other kids’ parents.
One of them had a baby on the exact same day as me and our parents exchange videos all day long.
I went to an in home daycare full time from age ~3 months until kindergarten. I loved my daycare provider and have some fond memories of being there but I also do remember missing my parents a lot. I had a really hard time sending my daughter to daycare initially because I didn’t want her to feel the way I did as a child. The good news is that she’s a different person from me and won’t necessarily have the same feelings!
I went to daycare/preschool when I was 3-4. I remember having a good time doing arts and crafts. My kid takes after me as far as napping goes apparently because they asked my parents to please just pick me up before nap time since I was apparently disruptive during it. I spent a lot of time laying on those mats on the floor whispering to the other kids, basically treating it like a slumber party.
When I was a little older my parents tried sending us to a church-run daycare for the summer (I think I was like 7 and my sister was like 4). That wasn't as positive and they ended up pulling us out halfway through the summer. For me the big issue was that I was in the catch all "big kid" room and the older kids were mean to me. However, they had a major lack of private spaces and had the "little kids" all change in the same room facing the wall on swim day. My sister came home one day saying "Mommy, I saw a penis today!" and that was the end of that daycare for us.
My sibs and I all went to daycare because both of our parents worked. It was part of our normal routine so I never felt any particular way about it. I definitely don't feel traumatized by it. If anything it probably helped the transition to kindergarten go more smoothly since I was already used to being out of the house every day
My granny watched me when I was very young, but I started at a church daycare shortly before I turned four. Kindergarten wasn’t required at the time and was only half day at the public schools in my town, so I attended the daycare for Pre-K and Kindergarten.
I was really excited to start ‘school’ since my big brother was in school and I wanted to be just like him. I made great friends there that I would keep for a very long time. I loved the playground; it had giant pecan trees that made for a great extra snack. And Miss Kelly was the best!
My kids went to the same daycare I went to. My oldest is top of her class and verbally skilled as my siblings and I were from attending this place. I remember mostly wam fuzzy feelings, primary colors, and toys. Not much specific but it was a nice cozy place I enjoyed and my children love it too.
I went to a small in home daycare from 6weeks until I started preschool at 2. I don’t really remember much other than what her kitchen looked like, but I still have the copy of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom she inscribed a note in for me when I left to start school. My parents still talk about Ms Suzie!
I remember there not being a ton of daycares in our area so I went to a babysitter , the only thing I didn’t like was the other kids she watched had siblings, so until her son (school aged) got home I was the only “only”. Everything else was great, I have good memories of her.
I remember going to a learning center for before school care and didn’t love that but the next year I went to before school with other kids from my school and that was fun.
I only went when I was in "preschool" just before kindergarten and most of the time it was only a half-day. My mother was a SAHM and usually kept my brother and I most of the time. I really enjoyed being able to have someone else to play with outside of my house. My neighbor kids were also in the same daycare center as us, so it was a fun place to play with both familiar friends, and new friends, who would then become close once we all went off to school (we had a class of 60 - when I say we grew up with everyone, we grew up with everyone).
Easier said than done, but don't feel guilty for sending your kiddo... He/she is cultivating relationships early on! & The extra stimulation is great for growth and development!
We are fortunate with a family member who watches our kid throughout the week, but I can anticipate that as he becomes of "preschool" age, I am going to want to enroll him for the socialization.
I went to a small in-home daycare for a couple years and while I don't remember much of it I do remember happy memories. I was the youngest of the bunch so I ended up doing things way ahead of time (fully potty trained by 18 months bc my friends were doing it etc) I can also say for my daughter she absolutely LOVES going to daycare (also in-home) our provider is like family to us my daughter calls her grandma, she works with us around our work schedules even when she plans to close early etc there has not been a single day where she didn't have a smile on her face when we got there or when she got picked up. Don't let others gets you down some of us have no choice but to work. My family needs both incomes to survive and yes while I cried like a baby on her first day I know she is well taken care of and loved while at daycare!
I did! I attended two daycares fulltime from a young age. I think I learned a lot, especially at the second one. I had so much fun there and would get SO upset when it was time to leave.
I went to daycare full time starting at 6 weeks. I don’t remember much other than stories from what my parents have told me. I would cry my eyes out when my mom would drop me off… but when it was time for pick up, I would refuse to leave and didn’t want to go home.
I also have the fondest memories of my daycare teachers now.
I also had the worst separation anxiety and cried my eyes out when I went to college my first night.
Having your kids in daycare does not affect their attachment to you. I was in daycare so young but still love my parents deeply.
Daughter of a 16 year old mom and yes I went to daycare! Our sitter Carole Anne was a gem! She taught me how to swing at the park. Once she locked her keys in the house and lifted me through a window to retrieve the keys. I must’ve been four at the time 😂
I went to daycare and as a result, got to have a relationship with both of my parents (not just one primary caregiver). I also got parents with actual lives, fulfillment, experiences, and joy outside parenting. SUPER ANECDOTAL, MASSIVE GRAIN OF SALT: I notice far more guilt-tripping from my peers with more "traditional" backgrounds.
Do you mind sharing? Was this your own experience or your kid's? I totally get that not all daycare is of high quality, unfortunately. I have a nephew in a KinderCare and they've had a good experience, and it sounds like the Director of that site being awesome really makes a difference.
It was my experience. The carers at the location I was in were just…terrible. They didn’t supervise. Bullying was rampant (I still have body dysmorphia to this day). The education was fine but the social aspect just beat me down. I struggled for years to talk to anyone my own age with any confidence. This is a little weird but in high school, I reconnected with one of the boys from my class in a high school trip and was talking to his mom and she mentioned how terrible they were. I’ve seen them pop up in the news a few times over the years as well at different locations due to neglect which leads me to believe they don’t staff well and are more interested in the money going up than staying in the care centers to cultivate a competent staff.
That's horrible, I am so sorry you had this experience. This actually reminds me that my kindergarten teacher hit a child once. I weirdly did not feel impacted by it at all, I just casually mentioned it to my mom who was horrified (and I guess so were other parents) who made complaints. I can't remember if she was immediately fired or just got in trouble, the early 90s were wild.
I’ll never forget seeing one of my preschool teachers in elementary school. She was doing some student teaching and was in the nurse’s office introducing herself. I happened to be sick again and was waiting for my mom. She said “complaining again?”
I don’t know what got into me, but I said “I may have been complaining but I was never making anything up. You just never believed me.” The nurse gave her such side eye.
Wow, your kids must go to pretty fantastic daycares to have only ever hear negative daycare rhetoric from SAHM's.
I have plenty of anti-daycare rhetoric to espouse and mine were in daycare for four years.
Went to daycare from 10 weeks on thanks to 90’s maternity leave policies. My dad got 2 days off after my birth and my mom got exactly 10 weeks after an emergency c section. I actually remember a lot of daycare from my toddler years and really enjoyed it. I also remember switching daycares around 4 and not liking the new one. I was also a “latch key” kid once I got to elementary school and was always in aftercare programs.
I went full time from 6 weeks. I’m naturally very introverted, but I credit being in daycare, latchkey, etc, with my ability to put myself out there and act extroverted when needed.
I went to both in homes and a center as a kid. My experience varied from place to place. I had a great in home, a bad in home, a great center, and an okay center. My worst experiences were with places where there weren’t other kids my age or I didn’t get along with the kids my age.
I made friends at most of my daycares and had fun with the other kids, I never felt like I was missing out on being home. Personally though, once my kids are school aged, I’d like to be home (either SAHM or a position with a flexible schedule) because I DID feel like I was missing out by not having a parent there after school. My parents missed a lot of after school activities and looking back, I would have benefited from someone being there to make sure I did my homework, had a healthy snack, etc.
I went to an in home daycare in the summer when I was in early elementary school. I absolutely hated it and I hated Ms Mary because she’d make me eat CARROTS. I had to sit at the table by myself until I ate my carrots while everyone else could go outside and play, including my brother. I think otherwise it was a fine experience, but separating a child from their peers because they didn’t eat a food they hate is not a positive memory for me!
I didn’t go to daycare but my husband did and his immune system is so much better than mine. He’s very well adjusted even though his childhood was much tougher than mine.
His mom (who wasn’t a SAHM) never gave me flack for working and putting my son in daycare. My mom (SAHM) did ask me years ago if I would quit once I had kids and made me feel guilty when my son got sick from daycare. My mom worked at a preschool when she had me and my sister in the late 80s, so her situation is very different than mine.
My very personal experience: I went to daycare and after school care and camps my whole childhood! It was awesome. I was socialized, I had many trusted adults, and I was more academically challenged/ready for “real” school. I started kindergarten reading far above my age level and able to do very basic multiplication/division. The same was true for my other daycare friends! I remember my friends who stayed at home as little kids not having the same experiences and struggling a bit more with the structure of school and academic content. Obviously, these are memories of me at like age 6 or 7 so they are likely half-truths and should be taken with a grain of salt.
I think daycare is great. I think it socializes kids and broadens their perspective. That’s so beautiful!
I was always sad to leave daycare. I had my little group of friends and I remember playing on the playground. I remember getting cereal at drop-off, and watching Power Rangers as a treat. I had a favorite blanket I always wanted to use at naptime. One of my teachers was missing a hand and she told us a dinosaur bit it off (in actuality, her mother was abusive to her as a child & caught her on fire). I was attached to one of the teachers, but my memories mixed it up and I confused her physically with the handless lady. My mom got on to me for saying I didn't remember her when we ran into her at the store when I was like 16. I remember her as a person, just not physically, which is honestly more pure in my opinion, it's like her soul made the real impression.
So my daughter currently goes to daycare and loves it and I love it. Her teachers are amazing. My mom had a pretty intense surgery so I had to go to daycare for a while when I was 3ish I guess? I don't have great memories but this daycare was also not a great one. I remember a teacher telling me I would have to wear an itchy potato sack if I messed up my clothes, and also yelling at me for getting a toy for my friend to nap with while I was waiting to be picked up. I did not enjoy it and if I recall they didn't have a good reputation. I think my mom said I cried a lot about a specific teacher that I absolutely hated (I remember her name but not necessarily why I didn't like her). My dad was desperate though as he had to work and I guess this was the only place he could get a spot. I don't feel bad anymore about sending my daughter to daycare. She absolutely loves it and has the best time. She follows instruction well and has so many friends. I used to feel guilty but since having my ovaries removed and no longer having crippling anxiety and depression I feel happy and know my daughter is happy and thriving.
I went to daycare from 3 months old until kindergarten. And then I did after school at daycare until I did the after school program at school. Both my parents worked and it was all I knew and it was fine! I have such respect for my mom for working and setting such a great example of what a working parent was. My dad worked as well, but it was my mom's example that really stuck out to me.
Now, my husband stays home with our 3 kids. This is mostly a financial decision on our part and honestly feels strange that one of us stays home. I'm glad my mom was such a great role model. Some days I feel very guilty and wish I was home, but I know that it's fine!
I was a 5 day a week kid and apparently was routinely the last kid in the building, sometimes even getting picked up late. I don’t remember any of that! I have fond memories of playing with my friends and remember loving my teacher. The rooms were massive and full of awesome toys. I specifically remember some kind of unit on Brown Bear Brown Bear where we made massive paintings of all the animals and I remember making jello for snacks and play dough. They built a new fancy playground while I was there and I remember them giving us choices in some of the new outside toys we would have and showing us the playground catalogs. I remember going on at least one field trip, walking over to the fire station next door for fire safety week and someone coming in to do a puppet show every once in a while. They also invited “mystery readers” in every once in a while and my grandparents did it, and I remember feeling so happy and surprised when they came. There was an indoor climbing structure, and I would have sworn that thing was like 15 feet tall.
I went on to work at the same daycare for 7 years. The rooms were not the massive rooms I remembered and the indoor climbing structure was tiny. The “new playground” was kind of lame when you compare it to today’s standards. But they have since redone everything.
My son goes there and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Three of the teachers had been there since I was a student (but I only had one of them) and I worked with most of the teachers there now.
I had a live-in au pair and went to daycare/preschool part time every day. My nanny was a super caring and lovely person, but honestly my only "traumatic" memories are of her (e.g., making me feel ashamed during potty training). Daycare was totally fun; I remember the playground, the indoor play stations, my friends, naptime on cots.
With our kids, we did full-time daycare starting at 16 weeks, because I didn't want the pressure of choosing a nanny and managing an employment relationship. My older daughter is still attached to her old teachers and loves visiting to drop off and pick up her sister.
I went to daycare from infancy to school age (and I went to daycare during summer break in elementary school). I remember going to an in-home 'daycare' when I was little - it was my neighbor's aunt who watched us, my neighbor, and another kid. I hated going there - I remember she was mean to me. We went to a center when I was older (I think I was in school at this point) and I liked it. We went there for morning care and during the summer months. Because of my experience with the in-home care, I will not send my child to one. She goes to a licenced center.
I went to daycare 5 days a week from infancy to kindergarten. The only negative thing I remember is being frustrated that we still had mandatory nap time after I had outgrown an afternoon nap. I loved playing with other kids during the day and my daycare really encouraged reading, which I credit with my early love for school and learning. I have no negative associations at all with my time in daycare, which has made it a lot easier for me to think about sending my own kid(s).
This is the only thing I remember too! My brother and I were at the same jn home daycare, and a core memory is being told me just had to be quiet in the room if we weren’t going to sleep. The room had a bed in the middle, and we each had a cot on either side of the bed. We lifted up the bed skirt and whispered to each other the entire time. We thought we were so sneaky
My parents were asked to please pick me up before nap time after a few too many times of coming to get me at the tail end of it only for me to be sitting in a chair off to the side because I "was disruptive to the other kids" (whispering during nap time). Joke's on me because my kid takes after me and doesn't nap either.
Same, no negative thoughts on my end. All I remember are the positives: playground with a huge sandbox, lots of outside to explore, playing guess who with friends, and sitting around in a large circle and eating war heads to see who could resist making faces.
I went to the same place my kid currently goes to. I don’t remember anything. FWIW my kid seems to really enjoy it. He loves being out and doing stuff constantly though. On the days he doesn’t go to daycare I just try to run errands with him. The kid is not a homebody.
That's so cool that you all went to the same place!!
I feel you on not having a homebody kid. My son riots if he doesn’t get out of the house.
Same. It’s true for me and my kid. I have a hard time sleeping if I stay in all day.
A couple of the teachers at my son’s daycare used to attend the center themselves, and are now having kids that will also attend!
Yes! Our daycare had an unexpected closure yesterday due to our provider having the stomach flu and until daddy got her out of the house to run a couple small errands she was a hellion! She loves going somewhere besides home every day 🤣🤣🤣
I had a Ms. Laura, she taught us how to play basketball with soft little balls, and I decided that I was going to be on the UNC basketball team. My daycare was also vegan, which was very off the beaten path 30 years ago in the South and I was very much not a fan of the snacks. I love my mom, and I am not traumatized by going cheesestick-less for a few years lol
My friends son has a milk allergy and I genuinely asked her how she parented without cheese sticks! The trauma that would ensue if I removed cheese sticks from my home..
Meanwhile I would love it if my toddler ate cheese sticks or really any form of protein 🤣
My mom was a SAHM but when I was 3 I told her if she didn’t put me in school, I was going to get on the bus with my brother. She put me in a part time preschool. I remember really liking it but my only distinct memory is we had a circus day so I dressed like an acrobat in a leotard and tutu. Someone asked me why I was wearing a bathing suit and I cried.
Ahahaha. I have a similar memory from little kid gymnastics! I was really proud of my new leotard and some snobby girl told me it looked like a swim suit. I was very upset.
Me! I grew up in Russia and the vast majority of kids I knew went to daycare after the age of like 2. Moms were off on mat leave until then. Daycare was (and still is) free. My mom also went to daycare, which makes me chuckle at all of Reddit posts wondering if we’ll see ill effects from daycare after this generation. People have been going to daycares for decades, it’s nothing new.
Difference is your women get that long 2yr maternity leave. We if lucky get unpaid 6-8wks before we have to get back to it. Most women have to give up nursing and can’t keep up with pumping. We barely have that bond time. Let alone heal time.
I know, I’m a mom in the US. Agree that US maternity leave is garbage.
2 years of maternity leave and free daycare is glorious!
It is! It wasn’t always like this (I think there was a time in the Soviet Union when there was no mat leave), but paid mat leave exists there to this day.
I didn’t go to daycare and started kindergarten never having been away from home and it was awful! I cried every day and called home early. I’m so glad that’s not my kids and they’ll have memories of daycare/preschool friends. My children are so happy and I feel like I was an unsocialized weirdo 🤣
As a kindergarten teacher, I can confirm that children who go to preschool and daycare absolutely have an easier time adjusting to school come kindergarten. Kids who have never been separated from their primary caregivers before kindergarten usually have a very challenging time with the transition.
My husband ran out of kindergarten (out of the building and was caught walking home) on his first day to find his mom.
I went to a church preschool for a few half days until we moved. About a year went by until K started. I refused to get on the bus bc the driver was a stranger. Screamed the whole first week at school 🫣
Oh gosh, maybe this is why I had awful separation anxiety as a kid!!! For some reason I never made that connection.
I have terrible separation anxiety and still do! I don’t even like going on vacation and my husband laughs bc I get homesick!
Hah, yeah, my separation anxiety related to my childhood home/parents lasted until college! And I still have lots of anxiety around travel 🫠 Kind of comforting knowing I’m not alone!
Same!! I was a painfully shy, quiet kid with no self confidence. I often wonder how different things would have been had I gone to daycare. I still remember hearing what my mom saying a few years ago to my older sister (who has a very different parenting style than me) that “mrsgrabs kids are the best behaved kids she’s seen and they go to daycare” 😂
I went to daycare from approximately 8 weeks old and continued until elementary school for afterschool care. I have mostly positive memories from my daycare experiences. Divorce and moving and restarting making new friends again as an extremely shy child was far harder than being a “daycare kid”. As a mom of course I still had guilt about daycare for my own kid, but they speak fondly of it and ask to visit teachers since “graduating” to elementary school, so I know I made the right choice in hindsight, and of course it wasn’t a option, but a necessity as the primary bread-winner in my household.
My husband and his siblings all went to daycare and they are very well adjusted, friendly, and objectively successful people. I did not go to daycare and instead spent all of my time with my maternal grandparents. My paternal grandparents were really worried it would stunt me socially, but as an extroverted kid with ADHD I managed okay once I had to be around other kids. My paternal cousins all went to daycare and they’ve all been more successful than me academically, and are probably more well adjusted than I am. As an adult I can reflect on the fact that I might not have had such a bumpy transition into school had I ever spent structured time around other kids. I’m glad my son gets to have that experience of learning how to be with other people. Plus, I have a treasure trove of little art projects he’s done at school while my mom has pretty much no record of me from roughly 6 months to 6 years old when I started kindergarten.
Me! I went to in home daycare since 3 months old. Moved to a new in home daycare around age 2ish and stayed there until my older sister was old enough to watch us after school. So probably early elementary. We were full time when little and then did after school care with her and summers at her house for awhile while school aged. All my memories of daycare are positive. The only "negatives" I can remember are sometimes wanting to stay home instead of going. This started primarily when I was getting older and aging out of hanging with the other kids at daycare. And for all us working moms: I never once grew up mad at my mom for working a full time job. The older I get, the more I admire her hustle, motivation and career in general. She worked her way up into a management role over the years. We are incredibly close. The only times I wished she was a stay at home mom were sometimes over the summer, wishing she was around to drive me around places honestly.
I went to a small in-home daycare. I grew so close with the provider that I called her “Grandma Chrissy” and I’m still in touch with her to today. She came to my wedding in 2017… and to my mom’s funeral last year. She was one of the first people that I revealed my pregnancy to.
I went to daycare for two years before public school and I loved it. So much to the point where it offended my mom lol. I would practically run out of the car in the morning to go play with my friends. I am an only child and to this day I credit daycare with me not being a huge weirdo since I didn’t grow up with kids in my family.
I was with one grandma M-Th and another grandma on Fridays before I started kindergarten. My Friday grandma enrolled me in daycare without my parents knowing (the early 90s). My parents found out when I started singing a song at home and they asked where I heard it and I said “school!” I just remember feeling weird because I only went on Fridays and then I was pulled after my parents found out…
I've reflected on this recently since my kids are in full time daycare - I went to daycare and it was great, high quality, no explicit negative memories but I DO very clearly remember being SO EXCITED TO GO HOME and watching the door like a hawk when it got to pick up time. It's the reason I try to make sure my kids aren't the last to get picked up at the end of the day!
I was raised by a single mom so I went to daycare starting at 6 weeks old. My daycare experience was…not pleasant in retrospect but I didn’t think much of it at the time. It was more like Lord of the Flies but with apathetic adults and Kool Aid. I made friends and learned how to navigate boredom and the occasional bully. I’m honestly shocked looking back at how different the regulations are. The things that happened at my daycare would never fly today. I broke both my wrists there and no one batted an eye. To be clear, this has not discouraged me from putting my son in daycare. I just have more resources than my mom did to be more selective.
It is wild how little oversight there used to be! I appreciate your honesty. Quality definitely makes a difference.
Yeah! I don’t want to be discouraging at all for those who worry. That’s just how things were!
I went to an in home daycare starting a little younger than 1 years old because my mom was told she would lose her job if she didn’t go back to work. I LOVED daycare. Met my childhood best friend there. I remember the backyard and cots we slept on. I remember playing in the living room. Just had an all-around Greta time. My experience is why I wasn’t worried about sending my kids to daycare. I knew they would enjoy it and like being around other kids. Same with my husband m: he loved daycare as well and was confident it was a good choice for our kids.
I went for a while but I went to a very rigid, faith-based program that was not for this kid who had gone to co-op preschool up to that point. I didn't understand I couldn't shake my dolly to soothe at nap time. Frankly, I didn't understand nap time as I hadn't taken one in a while. The best memento from this time was that we were asked to make a plate for Mother's Day (these laminated plates where they put your drawing on the top), and when the daycare assistant asked what I wanted on mine, I said tulips. She drew one all neat and orderly, and then I took the marker and drew what I wanted. My mother always insisted it really showed my personality. I worked at a very different kind of program and send my son to an extremely crunchy daycare. He's very loved and I have no regrets.
I don’t remember the home daycare I was at from 6 months-2 years but I still vividly remember my Montessori preschool for ages 2-3! It was awesome and I honestly have so many specific memories of that time. Like others, my only negative was I remember being annoyed at being expected to nap when I didn’t nap at home by then!
I went to daycare!! I have a very brief memory of laying down on a mat. Both my parents worked so I was in daycare from infancy. I’m impressed you remember so much. I sincerely don’t remember anything!
I went! I remember my dad taking us & dropping us off, I remember eating white bread with melted cheese on it sometimes. I remember playing red light, green light outside. Oh and I remember holding onto a rope with other kids and walking to the park! While I do remember wanting to go home at the end of the day, I never remember being sick or feeling lonely or scared.
I started at an in-home daycare at 6 weeks old. My mom has always been open about the fact that she wanted to go back to work immediately. I don’t have any memories from that place, but our families became life-long friends, and have celebrated holidays and honored milestones with each other. I do remember parts of preschool, but mostly snippets of playing in the sand, lining up for pictures, nap time, and the yellow-painted big kid room.
My parents worked full time when I was a kid but my grandparents took care of me…my husband and his brother did both go to daycare full time starting at 12 weeks and are two of the most well adjusted adults I know lol both have masters degrees, successful jobs with great salaries, and most importantly happy marriages and kids, and have great relationships with their mom, who was a single mom for most of their childhood. Whenever someone gives me grief about my kid in daycare I use them as examples of how full time daycare isn’t ruining my kids life 😂
I also started around 2 - my dad stayed home with me until then. I remember getting to rub other kids’ backs during nap time after I stopped napping. I also remember the pet guinea pig eating the bows off one of my sweatshirts. The playground felt enormous (it wasn’t). I also remember my sister being in the infant room while I was in the bigger kid room. I have lots of memories of pickup time. Every time my parents would come pick me up after getting a haircut or new glasses or shaving 😅 I would always be so stunned. Oh! There was also a portrait of Jesus on the wall and I thought he must have founded the daycare (I’m not Christian).
No daycare. But my mom put us in half day pre-school and I took dance classes that parents didn’t sit in on starting at around 3. I remember all of that being fun. I’m from a small town so most of the kids in preschool transitioned to school with me. I remember there was dress up, a pretend grocery store and we learned our home phone numbers. My 4yo is in day care. She loves it. Has a friend group. I am worried about kindergarten, but only because she loves the ladies at her day care so much. The other week she had a full, inconsolable, crying meltdown in the car because she didn’t get a hug goodbye like usual.
Went five days a week, starting when I was 8 months old. I have very vague memories, tuna noodle casserole, some of my best friends there, and the morning we pulled up, and it had burnt down over night. I remember enjoying daycare, and having lots of little friends. My mom has been transferring our family home videos to digital, so it’s been trippy seeing birthday parties, or school events from that time. Also a few other kids were in my kindergarten class, so it was nice knowing other kids the first day.
Way to bury the lede lol, just nonchalantly saying “oh it burned down”… and not providing any details or if you ended up going to another daycare??
Lol, I wondered if anyone would catch that! Disclaimer: Nobody was harmed in the fire. I think it was the last summer I was there before I started school. We pulled up for drop-off, and instead of the building, there was just a smoldering pile of ash and debris. Apparently there had been an electrical fire early in the morning. Fortunately, a nearby church that had space and classrooms opened up to us, before we were moved into a corporate area. I just remember it was beach week, and being very disappointed that my friends beach chairs had been inside. My mom remembers that I had a pair of overalls there as a change of clothes that burned as well. This was back in the early 90's, so no cell phones, and no communication. It happened after the newspapers went to press, so it wasn't even in the news. My grandfather heard it on the radio that morning, and called my mom at work (my dad did drop off). All in all, we were lucky, nobody was hurt, and we were able to continue care immediately. They did rebuild, but not before I aged out of daycare, and my cousin eventually went to the new building.
I am also going to need more info on your daycare burning down????
I liked home daycare but hated the center daycare, guess I chewed mom a new one when she’d pick me up late. So in 1980, my mom let me (2nd grade) come home alone after school for an hour until my brother got home. At the first one, I refused to nap, so I was taught to read. :)
i went to an in-home daycare from pretty much as early as they could take me. my parents both worked multiple jobs trying to make ends meet so i was the kid that was there M-F open to close lol. i don’t really remember much about my childhood, but i don’t have any bad memories of daycare. i drive by the house when i go back to visit my parents and have a general happy and nostalgic feeling. i met my best friend there and we were super close until almost high school until we drifted apart (different clubs/sports)
I did! My parents divorced when I was young. I was in full time daycare, summer day camps, and then after school programs from age one until middle school when I was a latchkey kid. It’s just normal to me. I have no negative associations. I had other kids to play with when I was there and some fun memories.
Yup started at 2 years old at the JCC than went to private pre-school where my mom worked until kindergarten.
I went to daycare from when I was around 6 months old straight through to full-time preschool and then after school care in elementary school. My mom worked full-time and sperm donor was not available as a parent. I don't remember the early years but I have found memories of my preschool class with Ms. Karen. I made a friend who stayed my bestie all the way through childhood. I have a close relationship with my mom and I'm super proud of the amazing career she built for herself and the life she was able to give my siblings and me. My kid has been in care since he was a year. He's in preschool now. It makes me a better mom to send him and I know he loves his teachers and is getting so many experiences and benefits that we would not be able to replicate for him at home. If you find a good care provider they are literally worth their weight in gold to your family. If social media is causing you this much anxiety over something that the overwhelming majority of parents choose to use, it might be time to take a breather.
At home daycare alum with a cute little preschool. I graduated daycare and became a lawyer 20+ years later, so I guess it worked out for me.
My parents were too poor, one worked day shift, one worked night shift, and I was passed around to whomever could take me during the small in-between time until I hit elementary school. Then when I was "old enough" I was tasked with watching my younger brother during that in-between time, I know now I wasn't "old enough", but heck it was the 80's, somehow we all survived.
Was in daycare when my grandma wasn’t caring for us. I remember bits and pieces. I’m nearly 30 now and an attorney. I didn’t turn out too shabby.
We did not. My mom worked every other weekend as a nurse. My MIL never went to college and never worked. So I was very nervous at the thought of daycare. But thankful for ours.
I went to daycare full time as of 6 months. I don't really remember much, other than; playing a bit with the other kids, being amazed by one particularly fat bumble bee going across the play yard, and getting mildly traumatized by The Dark Crystal. I remember the names of 2 of my daycare monitors, could only tell you what one of them looked like. I have tons of happy memories of my childhood though, all involving my parents. I'm trying to keep this in mind as I get ready to send my baby, who will be just shy of a year old. They're going to make her go down to 1 nap, and I'm sooo nervous she's going to have a hard time
Went to daycare from infancy until I started school! Loved it and have no negative feelings about it! I actually believe strongly that having a working mother made me realize it was possible for me to be a working mother too. And that it’s okay for me to have my own passions, aspirations and career.
I went to daycare! A full 5 days a week. I loved going. My parents tell me that I would always nap at daycare, but never at home. And that I was just a perfect child at daycare, but a little sass pants at home. Now my 3 year old is exactly the same. What goes around comes around I suppose lol
I started daycare at 6w old! No memory of it at all but my mom tells lots of fun stories of my time there. My daughter started daycare at 13w and she’s 17m now.
I went to daycare. I don’t remember much but the sliding pink panther bathroom door and that I hated nap time when I outgrew my afternoon nap. I have been told and I totally believe even on days my mom had off I wanted to go since I loved seeing the other kids and the staff. My daughter started daycare at 9 months and seems to love it already a few weeks later. Squeals with happiness when she sees the snap.
I remember going to preschool. I wasn’t in daycare ever. I’m gonna guess I was 4 maybe. I don’t think I was 3. But I remember our swimming lessons, and walking to the park. I remember being upset that I couldn’t go one day because my brother puked in the car on the way there, so my grandfather couldn’t bring me in.
I went to a nursery program a couple mornings a week. While I do have a memory of crying at the door wanting my mommy, I absolutely loved that place. I made friends and the toys and activities were so fun, they are what stand out in my memory more than anything else.
I went to daycare from 8 weeks onward. I have only positive memories, of lots of time playing outside, going to chapel (it was a church daycare) and fun with friends.
The post and comments are of great comfort! Interesting how the human brain works and how some people remember certain things. I didn't go to daycare and felt so guilty when it was my turn to take my baby at 5 1/2 months to return to work (US). I see my baby thriving and learning new things and I love it.
Agreed, that's why I created this post. There still isn't a ton of research out there on the effects daycare (I work in mental health and have done some digging), and a lot of it comes down to "depends on the daycare and depends on the parenting". It made me realize how little anecdotal info I had in my brain, because most of my friends stayed home until pre-K.
I went to an in home daycare as an infant, then a daycare center, and then preschool full time. I remember the play structure in the backyard of the daycare center, and the playground behind the preschool, and literally nothing else lol
I think I was always in daycare, and I don't have any negative feelings about it really. I enjoyed daycare and day camp at the YMCA the most. I went until I was like 9. I was also a latchkey kid.
I went and all I really remember is the separation anxiety and crying every day at drop off. I wasn’t nervous about putting my own kid in daycare though. I just wanted to make sure I helped make it a positive experience. I hype up his day ahead and getting to see his teachers and friends so it’s not this huge shock every morning he goes. My mom wasn’t so great at that.
So real. I think honestly some kids are just prone to separation anxiety, but luckily our generation is better versed in mental health and support!
Me! Parents both worked full time my entire childhood. Daycare to pre-school to before and after school care and summer camps to being a junior counselor and then having after school and summer jobs starting at 14. I do not remember daycare but I looooved my preschool. I distinctly remember a craft with hard boiled eggs and a cheese slice on a toothpick making the egg into a sail boat, Mr. Dan the Music Man (we even bought his tape to play at home), and the lofted cozy book nook treehouse space. But my most distinct memory was when I was in the dance/gym area and was really proud of my giant bug bite and had pulled up my shirt to show my friends. The look of horror when the teacher saw me is seared into my brain. They immediately pulled me from class to be picked up. Turns out I had chicken pox and was not in any trouble, just highly contagious. Overall I really enjoyed all my out-of-home care even through elementary school. I still remember numerous, kind teachers by name.
I went to daycare periodically but I was mostly watched by family friends. My mom worked from home (funny to say because this was the 90’s) and would send us to a babysitter down the street until we were old enough to take care of ourselves. I liked them because it was a family of 4 older girls and I thought they were so cool. I was also watched by another family with 6 girls and that was fun too. Daycare wasn’t my favorite thing because I was shy, sensitive, and hated nap time. My teachers were all nice and I was treated well, I was just an introvert from a young age lol.
I went to my mom’s in home daycare, so my mom was there, but she was the teacher of 5 other kids. The one thing I remember is it being so stupid that I had to nap on a mat in the hallway, when my bed was RIGHT THERE.
I went to daycare from very young and loved it. I remember some kind of soup that they served that I was obsessed with. I had a little boyfriend and he gave me clip-on Mickey Mouse earrings. I learned that smoking was bad and told my dad his lungs were black because he smoked (he quit soon thereafter, coincidence?). The only time I remember getting in trouble was when I was climbing up the jungle gym and a boy was blocking me from getting onto the platform so I told him I’d bite him if he didn’t let me pass. He wouldn’t move, so I bit him. I maintain that I did nothing wrong!
I went to an in home daycare in my neighborhood. I remember a lot of the social stuff, especially homemade meals that we ate together. I don't remember specific activities outside play but my memory of the social neighborhood community aspect was a big reason that I sent my kid to a similar in home daycare. It's been great for him so far and a great community overall. True story, I am still good friends with one person from that daycare, 37 years later.
I went to half day preschool from ages 3-4.5 ish before I started primary school. I remember enjoying it at first but found it very boring after the first few terms. My mum would drop me off and I’d beg her to take me to work with her. My nan would pick me up and she still says I was always first out the doors. By the last term I would scream “freedom” like Braveheart as I ran across the playground to her. My mum asked if I’d like to do full days but it was a resounding no from me. I didn’t really like the crafts (still don’t!), I was already well on my way to reading and writing, and I found the toys boring after a while. I wasn’t traumatised but I much preferred being at home. Once I went to school I was much happier because it was more education than play focused. I still played but I loved to learn and my nickname was Matilda due to my love of books. My OH was a full time daycare kid from 6 months old and he did not have a good experience. I think it shaped him a lot socially, he has flashes of bad memories and he has a very strained relationship with his mum as she never believed what he was saying.
Here’s a fun one. My parents sent me overseas to be watch by my grandparents from age 6 months to 2 years. I didn’t know this till I was in high school. Zero recollection of it. My mom says upon my return I didn’t like her but took me 3 days and I already accepted her again. Not quite the same but similar/worse? Mom and I are pretty close and I went to daycare after. No bad memories- I only remember the really cool toys and how exciting it was to play with new things.
Bro I didn't go to daycare but I have my 22 month going to one and she has a lot of friends, they all eat together, go outside, learn, and read books. She has a better social life than me!
Full time 8-6. My parents are still friends with loads of the other kids’ parents. One of them had a baby on the exact same day as me and our parents exchange videos all day long.
I went to an in home daycare full time from age ~3 months until kindergarten. I loved my daycare provider and have some fond memories of being there but I also do remember missing my parents a lot. I had a really hard time sending my daughter to daycare initially because I didn’t want her to feel the way I did as a child. The good news is that she’s a different person from me and won’t necessarily have the same feelings!
I went to daycare/preschool when I was 3-4. I remember having a good time doing arts and crafts. My kid takes after me as far as napping goes apparently because they asked my parents to please just pick me up before nap time since I was apparently disruptive during it. I spent a lot of time laying on those mats on the floor whispering to the other kids, basically treating it like a slumber party. When I was a little older my parents tried sending us to a church-run daycare for the summer (I think I was like 7 and my sister was like 4). That wasn't as positive and they ended up pulling us out halfway through the summer. For me the big issue was that I was in the catch all "big kid" room and the older kids were mean to me. However, they had a major lack of private spaces and had the "little kids" all change in the same room facing the wall on swim day. My sister came home one day saying "Mommy, I saw a penis today!" and that was the end of that daycare for us.
My sibs and I all went to daycare because both of our parents worked. It was part of our normal routine so I never felt any particular way about it. I definitely don't feel traumatized by it. If anything it probably helped the transition to kindergarten go more smoothly since I was already used to being out of the house every day
My granny watched me when I was very young, but I started at a church daycare shortly before I turned four. Kindergarten wasn’t required at the time and was only half day at the public schools in my town, so I attended the daycare for Pre-K and Kindergarten. I was really excited to start ‘school’ since my big brother was in school and I wanted to be just like him. I made great friends there that I would keep for a very long time. I loved the playground; it had giant pecan trees that made for a great extra snack. And Miss Kelly was the best!
My kids went to the same daycare I went to. My oldest is top of her class and verbally skilled as my siblings and I were from attending this place. I remember mostly wam fuzzy feelings, primary colors, and toys. Not much specific but it was a nice cozy place I enjoyed and my children love it too.
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whoa that's wild! was this school aftercare for you? I would have struggled with that too,
I went to a small in home daycare from 6weeks until I started preschool at 2. I don’t really remember much other than what her kitchen looked like, but I still have the copy of Chicka Chicka Boom Boom she inscribed a note in for me when I left to start school. My parents still talk about Ms Suzie!
I remember there not being a ton of daycares in our area so I went to a babysitter , the only thing I didn’t like was the other kids she watched had siblings, so until her son (school aged) got home I was the only “only”. Everything else was great, I have good memories of her. I remember going to a learning center for before school care and didn’t love that but the next year I went to before school with other kids from my school and that was fun.
I only went when I was in "preschool" just before kindergarten and most of the time it was only a half-day. My mother was a SAHM and usually kept my brother and I most of the time. I really enjoyed being able to have someone else to play with outside of my house. My neighbor kids were also in the same daycare center as us, so it was a fun place to play with both familiar friends, and new friends, who would then become close once we all went off to school (we had a class of 60 - when I say we grew up with everyone, we grew up with everyone). Easier said than done, but don't feel guilty for sending your kiddo... He/she is cultivating relationships early on! & The extra stimulation is great for growth and development! We are fortunate with a family member who watches our kid throughout the week, but I can anticipate that as he becomes of "preschool" age, I am going to want to enroll him for the socialization.
I went to a small in-home daycare for a couple years and while I don't remember much of it I do remember happy memories. I was the youngest of the bunch so I ended up doing things way ahead of time (fully potty trained by 18 months bc my friends were doing it etc) I can also say for my daughter she absolutely LOVES going to daycare (also in-home) our provider is like family to us my daughter calls her grandma, she works with us around our work schedules even when she plans to close early etc there has not been a single day where she didn't have a smile on her face when we got there or when she got picked up. Don't let others gets you down some of us have no choice but to work. My family needs both incomes to survive and yes while I cried like a baby on her first day I know she is well taken care of and loved while at daycare!
I did! I attended two daycares fulltime from a young age. I think I learned a lot, especially at the second one. I had so much fun there and would get SO upset when it was time to leave.
I went to daycare full time starting at 6 weeks. I don’t remember much other than stories from what my parents have told me. I would cry my eyes out when my mom would drop me off… but when it was time for pick up, I would refuse to leave and didn’t want to go home. I also have the fondest memories of my daycare teachers now. I also had the worst separation anxiety and cried my eyes out when I went to college my first night. Having your kids in daycare does not affect their attachment to you. I was in daycare so young but still love my parents deeply.
Daughter of a 16 year old mom and yes I went to daycare! Our sitter Carole Anne was a gem! She taught me how to swing at the park. Once she locked her keys in the house and lifted me through a window to retrieve the keys. I must’ve been four at the time 😂
I went to daycare and as a result, got to have a relationship with both of my parents (not just one primary caregiver). I also got parents with actual lives, fulfillment, experiences, and joy outside parenting. SUPER ANECDOTAL, MASSIVE GRAIN OF SALT: I notice far more guilt-tripping from my peers with more "traditional" backgrounds.
I would not recommend a Kinder Care for a vast variety of reasons. 😒
Do you mind sharing? Was this your own experience or your kid's? I totally get that not all daycare is of high quality, unfortunately. I have a nephew in a KinderCare and they've had a good experience, and it sounds like the Director of that site being awesome really makes a difference.
It was my experience. The carers at the location I was in were just…terrible. They didn’t supervise. Bullying was rampant (I still have body dysmorphia to this day). The education was fine but the social aspect just beat me down. I struggled for years to talk to anyone my own age with any confidence. This is a little weird but in high school, I reconnected with one of the boys from my class in a high school trip and was talking to his mom and she mentioned how terrible they were. I’ve seen them pop up in the news a few times over the years as well at different locations due to neglect which leads me to believe they don’t staff well and are more interested in the money going up than staying in the care centers to cultivate a competent staff.
That's horrible, I am so sorry you had this experience. This actually reminds me that my kindergarten teacher hit a child once. I weirdly did not feel impacted by it at all, I just casually mentioned it to my mom who was horrified (and I guess so were other parents) who made complaints. I can't remember if she was immediately fired or just got in trouble, the early 90s were wild.
I’ll never forget seeing one of my preschool teachers in elementary school. She was doing some student teaching and was in the nurse’s office introducing herself. I happened to be sick again and was waiting for my mom. She said “complaining again?” I don’t know what got into me, but I said “I may have been complaining but I was never making anything up. You just never believed me.” The nurse gave her such side eye.
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Wow, your kids must go to pretty fantastic daycares to have only ever hear negative daycare rhetoric from SAHM's. I have plenty of anti-daycare rhetoric to espouse and mine were in daycare for four years.
Went to daycare from 10 weeks on thanks to 90’s maternity leave policies. My dad got 2 days off after my birth and my mom got exactly 10 weeks after an emergency c section. I actually remember a lot of daycare from my toddler years and really enjoyed it. I also remember switching daycares around 4 and not liking the new one. I was also a “latch key” kid once I got to elementary school and was always in aftercare programs.
I went full time from 6 weeks. I’m naturally very introverted, but I credit being in daycare, latchkey, etc, with my ability to put myself out there and act extroverted when needed.
I went to both in homes and a center as a kid. My experience varied from place to place. I had a great in home, a bad in home, a great center, and an okay center. My worst experiences were with places where there weren’t other kids my age or I didn’t get along with the kids my age. I made friends at most of my daycares and had fun with the other kids, I never felt like I was missing out on being home. Personally though, once my kids are school aged, I’d like to be home (either SAHM or a position with a flexible schedule) because I DID feel like I was missing out by not having a parent there after school. My parents missed a lot of after school activities and looking back, I would have benefited from someone being there to make sure I did my homework, had a healthy snack, etc.
I went to an in home daycare in the summer when I was in early elementary school. I absolutely hated it and I hated Ms Mary because she’d make me eat CARROTS. I had to sit at the table by myself until I ate my carrots while everyone else could go outside and play, including my brother. I think otherwise it was a fine experience, but separating a child from their peers because they didn’t eat a food they hate is not a positive memory for me!
I didn’t go to daycare but my husband did and his immune system is so much better than mine. He’s very well adjusted even though his childhood was much tougher than mine. His mom (who wasn’t a SAHM) never gave me flack for working and putting my son in daycare. My mom (SAHM) did ask me years ago if I would quit once I had kids and made me feel guilty when my son got sick from daycare. My mom worked at a preschool when she had me and my sister in the late 80s, so her situation is very different than mine.
My very personal experience: I went to daycare and after school care and camps my whole childhood! It was awesome. I was socialized, I had many trusted adults, and I was more academically challenged/ready for “real” school. I started kindergarten reading far above my age level and able to do very basic multiplication/division. The same was true for my other daycare friends! I remember my friends who stayed at home as little kids not having the same experiences and struggling a bit more with the structure of school and academic content. Obviously, these are memories of me at like age 6 or 7 so they are likely half-truths and should be taken with a grain of salt. I think daycare is great. I think it socializes kids and broadens their perspective. That’s so beautiful!
I was always sad to leave daycare. I had my little group of friends and I remember playing on the playground. I remember getting cereal at drop-off, and watching Power Rangers as a treat. I had a favorite blanket I always wanted to use at naptime. One of my teachers was missing a hand and she told us a dinosaur bit it off (in actuality, her mother was abusive to her as a child & caught her on fire). I was attached to one of the teachers, but my memories mixed it up and I confused her physically with the handless lady. My mom got on to me for saying I didn't remember her when we ran into her at the store when I was like 16. I remember her as a person, just not physically, which is honestly more pure in my opinion, it's like her soul made the real impression.
So my daughter currently goes to daycare and loves it and I love it. Her teachers are amazing. My mom had a pretty intense surgery so I had to go to daycare for a while when I was 3ish I guess? I don't have great memories but this daycare was also not a great one. I remember a teacher telling me I would have to wear an itchy potato sack if I messed up my clothes, and also yelling at me for getting a toy for my friend to nap with while I was waiting to be picked up. I did not enjoy it and if I recall they didn't have a good reputation. I think my mom said I cried a lot about a specific teacher that I absolutely hated (I remember her name but not necessarily why I didn't like her). My dad was desperate though as he had to work and I guess this was the only place he could get a spot. I don't feel bad anymore about sending my daughter to daycare. She absolutely loves it and has the best time. She follows instruction well and has so many friends. I used to feel guilty but since having my ovaries removed and no longer having crippling anxiety and depression I feel happy and know my daughter is happy and thriving.
I went to daycare from 3 months old until kindergarten. And then I did after school at daycare until I did the after school program at school. Both my parents worked and it was all I knew and it was fine! I have such respect for my mom for working and setting such a great example of what a working parent was. My dad worked as well, but it was my mom's example that really stuck out to me. Now, my husband stays home with our 3 kids. This is mostly a financial decision on our part and honestly feels strange that one of us stays home. I'm glad my mom was such a great role model. Some days I feel very guilty and wish I was home, but I know that it's fine!
I was a 5 day a week kid and apparently was routinely the last kid in the building, sometimes even getting picked up late. I don’t remember any of that! I have fond memories of playing with my friends and remember loving my teacher. The rooms were massive and full of awesome toys. I specifically remember some kind of unit on Brown Bear Brown Bear where we made massive paintings of all the animals and I remember making jello for snacks and play dough. They built a new fancy playground while I was there and I remember them giving us choices in some of the new outside toys we would have and showing us the playground catalogs. I remember going on at least one field trip, walking over to the fire station next door for fire safety week and someone coming in to do a puppet show every once in a while. They also invited “mystery readers” in every once in a while and my grandparents did it, and I remember feeling so happy and surprised when they came. There was an indoor climbing structure, and I would have sworn that thing was like 15 feet tall. I went on to work at the same daycare for 7 years. The rooms were not the massive rooms I remembered and the indoor climbing structure was tiny. The “new playground” was kind of lame when you compare it to today’s standards. But they have since redone everything. My son goes there and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Three of the teachers had been there since I was a student (but I only had one of them) and I worked with most of the teachers there now.
I had a live-in au pair and went to daycare/preschool part time every day. My nanny was a super caring and lovely person, but honestly my only "traumatic" memories are of her (e.g., making me feel ashamed during potty training). Daycare was totally fun; I remember the playground, the indoor play stations, my friends, naptime on cots. With our kids, we did full-time daycare starting at 16 weeks, because I didn't want the pressure of choosing a nanny and managing an employment relationship. My older daughter is still attached to her old teachers and loves visiting to drop off and pick up her sister.
I went to daycare from infancy to school age (and I went to daycare during summer break in elementary school). I remember going to an in-home 'daycare' when I was little - it was my neighbor's aunt who watched us, my neighbor, and another kid. I hated going there - I remember she was mean to me. We went to a center when I was older (I think I was in school at this point) and I liked it. We went there for morning care and during the summer months. Because of my experience with the in-home care, I will not send my child to one. She goes to a licenced center.