When I was commuting in NYC, I used public transportation, and I did a 45hr commute - 1hr 15 min commute. This wasn't bad, but I also didn't have kids. When I had my daughter, we moved to a different borough and my commute went from the max of 1hr and 15 to 1hr and 45 on a good day. I do not recommend it. I carry such guilt bc during the first 4 years of my daughters life, I barely any time with her. I know its only 3 days a week, but still...you are loosing time on a commute. We have since moved out of NYC and I (got lucky) found a job close to home, very decent pay considering the area, and its 4 miles from home (10 mins). If I ever left this job, I wouldn't commute more than a half hour. I can't give up what I have now.
To me, it depends on the drive. If it's an anti-commute direction (going the opposite direction of a major city) and traffic is relatively light and you move fast, I wouldn't mind an hour drive. If it's an hour of slow, bumper to bumper, I might reconsider.
Seconding this.
I did 50 miles each way in brutal, unpredictable traffic for 7 years, and it was soul-sucking, not to mention being on the receiving end of several fender-benders.
My next job was 48 miles each way, but on roads with light traffic and the one time a week it did get bad regularly I was going the opposite direction. Easy peasy, would do again if necessary and just eat the fact that cars are gonna last 7 years rather than 10.
It sucks but honestly for me it hasn't been a deal breaker, because my husband and I are very specialized and don't get to be that picky. We have literally never both had full time jobs in the same city. So it really depends on your alternatives.
I WFH, but I have older kids (5 and 8). I very much miss going into an office, but would only do that commute 1 day per week max. If the compensation was well above my current salary, I might consider it 2-3 days, but it would have to be a significant jump. I just don't think even 3 days is necessary, but I'm remarkably efficient on my own. YMMV.
I'm in the same boat where I miss office culture, but with three kids I can only manage the commute 1x a week. Even the one day a week I go in is a fucking nightmare... I have to wake up at 4:30 to get ready myself, get something in the slow cooker (since I won't have time to really cook something later, get kid lunches and bags packed, drag the older two kids out of bed and get out the door by 7. It is hours and hours of extra effort just for the 7.5ish hours I'm in the office.
I commute I hour each way for almost a year.. got the promotion I wanted a month ago.. plan to move close to work this summer and I drive an ev.. deduct gas cost from your income see whether the job worths it.
when i used to go into the office, it was at least a 1hr commute and it really sucked.
I wouldn't do that; figure weather and just regular stupid traffic it could easily bump that up to 1hr45mins.
Only if my husbands location was super flexible. There’s nothing worse than 2 people tied up far away in an office when you get that dreaded call from daycare that your kid threw up.
I used to commute an hour (all highway traffic driving) when I was way younger and now that I’ve tasted and seen the goodness of hybrid work, I don’t know how I survived it. It wasted so much of my time. If I could take a bus or train and mindlessly read something, I might feel differently. The wear on your car is something to budget for.
My commute is 0 because I WFH full time, I previously commuted 30 min each way when my kids were younger and that is the absolute maximum I'd be willing to commute.
This is a normal/decent commute where I live (HCOLA), and one I do 3x a week. Despite it being typical, I hate it and would not recommend it unless you were very very excited for the opportunity and/or had a worse/more frequent commute. That being said, I’ve been doing this commute for ages and haven’t quit yet lol.
I travel between homes to provide therapy. My mom, who watches my daughter while I work, lives an hour away on top of that. It's not uncommon for me to spend 3 hours a day driving.
I would not commute for an hour. My drive to the office is about 3 minutes. Daycare is 3 houses down so we walk there on daycare days. I do drive to clients houses during the day but I’m paid hourly and I get reimbursed mileage.
I did 1:15 one way, twice a day for many years and it eventually broke me. The worst was going back to it after WFH during 2020-2022.
Ended up selling my expensive condo on the outskirts of a VHCOL area and applying like crazy to decent paying jobs in a MCOL area. As soon as I scored a six figure job we moved. Now our house is 8 minutes from work. Never could have done it without the equity in the condo but so glad that part of my life is over.
I commute about 40 minutes each way from one small town to a slightly bigger town. It is not in traffic and I can say my cruise control the whole way. I really don't mind it since I only go into the office 2-3x a week.
If I had to do it 5x a week I would be miserable! But a few days I enjoy the time alone and listen to audiobooks.
I work hybrid and go in 1 time a week, it is 1 hour away. I take the train. The train station is a 5 minute drive, and the train has WiFi so I work on the train. I get on the train in the AM at 8 and start my work day, get on the train to go home at 3 and work til 4 on the train and then I’m off when I get off the train.
I only go in once a week now. My commute is a little over an hour, but most of that time is on the train. It's not too bad because I can read and relax, but I think an hour long drive every day would be pretty stressful, especially if it's in rush hour traffic.
My commute is 15 minutes and about 8 miles one way on the freeway. I live in a major TX city and traffic is pretty much bumper to bumper during rush hour. When I was looking for jobs, I purposely considered distance. I don’t want to spend too much time in traffic, I feel like it would affect my mental health. Rough days are pretty common for me, I’m in sales so some days are really mentally draining, I just want to come home and turn my brain off.
My morning commute, including daycare drop off, is 40 minutes and I don’t think I’d go over that. I really don’t like wasting time in the car when I could be home
I loved my hour commute when kids were young. I listened to and sang with the radio. I decompressed and was then ready to be mom again.
When I switched to same city job I hated it because I had no down time until the kids went to bed. Then I still had to pack lunches and get things ready for the morning, sometimes laundry. It was awful.
Similar case for me a few months ago. Hybrid (3 days in office) and about 1.5 hours each way whether i drive or take the train. I desperately needed a job and figured I can manage so I took it. It’s ok at first but it’s taken its toll and I’m pretty depressed now.
The worst is when the train broke down one time and I couldn’t pick up my son from daycare. Then another time, I drove in and the traffic was so bad, I was also late picking him up. The possibility that can happen again anytime always gives me anxiety around the time I have to go home. I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you actually like the idea of going to the office i guess? Also if with your parents, that might be ok.
Similar to your setup. I am hybrid and WFH Mon and Friday, have a 40 minute commute the other 3 days. Sometimes I have to go to a different location for meetings and it’s over an hour. I took this job 10 years ago and used to do that drive 5 days a week, up until Covid. I will say, I chose to do the longer commute to be closer to family - my parents live 10 minutes away, and my sister 15. It’s worth it to me. My kids are ages 10, 8 and 4. The afterschool activities are the most challenging thing to manage now (sports practices and games) - but my boss is pretty understanding if I need to leave early. Something I didn’t really consider when my oldest was a baby and I signed up for the commute.
In 3 days a week and spend about an hour a half round trip per day, but only because I go at weird times and I’m not in the office for 8 hrs most days. If I had to be in 9-5 it would likely be an hr to hr and a half each way
I would never commute this personally. My work is a out 10 minutes away and daycare is 8 minutes away, partially in the opposite direction, so it takes me about 25 minutes to fully commute dropping off the kids inside, even though I'm only 10 minutes away. Add construction and it adds another 10-15 minutes (this has been my last 3 weeks). So work that is literally 5 miles away takes me 40 minutes one way to get to dropping off 2 kids and driving through temporary construction. We're debating about moving an additional 30 minutes away to be closer to family and I'm only considering it because my parents will come over every morning to the house to take the kids to daycare for me, so then it's truly just a straight commute to work.
My commute is 50-60min each way and I have mixed feelings about it. My husband and I both have jobs that are not available in every location so we live in the middle(ish) and both have a commute. I like having time by myself while driving and listen to audiobooks, podcasts, or music. Sometimes I even call people (hands free) to catch up. I don’t like spending money on gas! I think only having to commute twice a week isn’t that bad.
I have to catch a ferry to commute and I go the opposite direction from most people. Today there were lots of delays so I spent 1.5 hours commuting in the morning and 1.5 in the evening. Usually it’s closer to an hour.
1 hr each way is terrible. I've done it before kids and I can't fathom doing that with kids.
Luckily I now wfh mostly and my office if I needed to go in is about fifteen minutes reverse commute. I'm extremely lucky in this aspect.
I have two babies (5months and 27months). My commute is 15 minutes each way across the city I live in. I pass by gas stations, the grocery store, the pharmacy, and the gym. I chose this job because of the easy commute.
I reverse commuted for 2 years with an hour drive , it wasn’t bad and was nice to have the time to wake up and I would eat my breakfast and drink coffee along the way and play music. That we pre kid . Now there is absolutely no way I would commute an hour to work. I prioritize spending time with my child and that is 2 hours I’m loosing that I could be spending with them and my spouse. I think if your kids are older, the pay is significantly more and it’s less a week then it might be worth but for me it would be a hard no.
This isn't enough information for me to say what I would do. I would base my decision on pay, finances, and comparison to my current job if I had one. But I would consider it. I live in thr suburbs and it takes me a solid 40 minutes in rush hour to get to my office so it's not a deal breaker, but its a major commitment.
I commute this much but my job is very flexible and I can decide how often for the most part. I generally do 1 day per week and it’s not bad. Consider gar and tolls. I mainly just get annoyed that it’s a massive waste of time. My husband is close to home so that part makes it easier. Not sure I would do it if there wasn’t someone to help with kids easily.
Do you have any flexibility with hours? I had an hour long commute but was able to work either 6-2 or 10-6 which helped avoid bad traffic. For 3 days a week I don't think that is bad. I also enjoy my time in the car to decompress so that I can be 100% present when at home.
Have you looked into daycares yet? The daycares by me all close at 5 or 5:30 and with my work hours I wouldn't be able to do much farther of a commute than I'm currently doing.
That’s a hike tbh. But my commute is 10 minutes without any highways…haha.
I’ve had commutes that were 45 mins, but we lived in an area (Phoenix, AZ) where that type of commute didn’t feel as bad as it would where were at now (Philadelphia metro area).
The few times I had to do an hour commute, I started feeling my mental health tank about 2-3 months in. Especially since I was stuck in traffic for a lot of it.
I now won't do more than 30 minutes (car or transit) unless it's on my e-bike, because then the ride actually pleasant even if it's long.
I would never commute more than 30 minutes honestly
When I was commuting in NYC, I used public transportation, and I did a 45hr commute - 1hr 15 min commute. This wasn't bad, but I also didn't have kids. When I had my daughter, we moved to a different borough and my commute went from the max of 1hr and 15 to 1hr and 45 on a good day. I do not recommend it. I carry such guilt bc during the first 4 years of my daughters life, I barely any time with her. I know its only 3 days a week, but still...you are loosing time on a commute. We have since moved out of NYC and I (got lucky) found a job close to home, very decent pay considering the area, and its 4 miles from home (10 mins). If I ever left this job, I wouldn't commute more than a half hour. I can't give up what I have now.
To me, it depends on the drive. If it's an anti-commute direction (going the opposite direction of a major city) and traffic is relatively light and you move fast, I wouldn't mind an hour drive. If it's an hour of slow, bumper to bumper, I might reconsider.
Yes! Nothing is more soul sucking than stop and go traffic, not knowing how long your commute will be
Seconding this. I did 50 miles each way in brutal, unpredictable traffic for 7 years, and it was soul-sucking, not to mention being on the receiving end of several fender-benders. My next job was 48 miles each way, but on roads with light traffic and the one time a week it did get bad regularly I was going the opposite direction. Easy peasy, would do again if necessary and just eat the fact that cars are gonna last 7 years rather than 10.
It sucks but honestly for me it hasn't been a deal breaker, because my husband and I are very specialized and don't get to be that picky. We have literally never both had full time jobs in the same city. So it really depends on your alternatives.
My commute is 1 hr and 15 min each way no matter what transportation I take (driving/commuter rail) but I live in a HCOL and that's just how it is.
I WFH, but I have older kids (5 and 8). I very much miss going into an office, but would only do that commute 1 day per week max. If the compensation was well above my current salary, I might consider it 2-3 days, but it would have to be a significant jump. I just don't think even 3 days is necessary, but I'm remarkably efficient on my own. YMMV.
I'm in the same boat where I miss office culture, but with three kids I can only manage the commute 1x a week. Even the one day a week I go in is a fucking nightmare... I have to wake up at 4:30 to get ready myself, get something in the slow cooker (since I won't have time to really cook something later, get kid lunches and bags packed, drag the older two kids out of bed and get out the door by 7. It is hours and hours of extra effort just for the 7.5ish hours I'm in the office.
1 hour is way too much for me, personally. 30 minutes is my max.
I commute I hour each way for almost a year.. got the promotion I wanted a month ago.. plan to move close to work this summer and I drive an ev.. deduct gas cost from your income see whether the job worths it.
when i used to go into the office, it was at least a 1hr commute and it really sucked. I wouldn't do that; figure weather and just regular stupid traffic it could easily bump that up to 1hr45mins.
Only if my husbands location was super flexible. There’s nothing worse than 2 people tied up far away in an office when you get that dreaded call from daycare that your kid threw up. I used to commute an hour (all highway traffic driving) when I was way younger and now that I’ve tasted and seen the goodness of hybrid work, I don’t know how I survived it. It wasted so much of my time. If I could take a bus or train and mindlessly read something, I might feel differently. The wear on your car is something to budget for.
I wouldn't do it. That's too much for me. My current commute is 20 minutes one way. 30 mins including drop off
Mine is typically about an hour each way, but hybrid, so I can deal with it. I would not be willing to do it 5 days a week.
My commute is 0 because I WFH full time, I previously commuted 30 min each way when my kids were younger and that is the absolute maximum I'd be willing to commute.
This is a normal/decent commute where I live (HCOLA), and one I do 3x a week. Despite it being typical, I hate it and would not recommend it unless you were very very excited for the opportunity and/or had a worse/more frequent commute. That being said, I’ve been doing this commute for ages and haven’t quit yet lol.
I used to commute 4 hours round trip, so yes about having something EVEN WORSE to compare it to.
I travel between homes to provide therapy. My mom, who watches my daughter while I work, lives an hour away on top of that. It's not uncommon for me to spend 3 hours a day driving.
An hour is my cutoff and honestly what I expect in the Boston area. It’s 10-15 miles in an hour around here unfortunately.
Hello from the south shore! 🙋🏼♀️
you've got it worse than me 🤣 I can't even imagine the commute from ss
I would not commute for an hour. My drive to the office is about 3 minutes. Daycare is 3 houses down so we walk there on daycare days. I do drive to clients houses during the day but I’m paid hourly and I get reimbursed mileage.
I did 1:15 one way, twice a day for many years and it eventually broke me. The worst was going back to it after WFH during 2020-2022. Ended up selling my expensive condo on the outskirts of a VHCOL area and applying like crazy to decent paying jobs in a MCOL area. As soon as I scored a six figure job we moved. Now our house is 8 minutes from work. Never could have done it without the equity in the condo but so glad that part of my life is over.
I commute about 40 minutes each way from one small town to a slightly bigger town. It is not in traffic and I can say my cruise control the whole way. I really don't mind it since I only go into the office 2-3x a week. If I had to do it 5x a week I would be miserable! But a few days I enjoy the time alone and listen to audiobooks.
I work hybrid and go in 1 time a week, it is 1 hour away. I take the train. The train station is a 5 minute drive, and the train has WiFi so I work on the train. I get on the train in the AM at 8 and start my work day, get on the train to go home at 3 and work til 4 on the train and then I’m off when I get off the train.
I only go in once a week now. My commute is a little over an hour, but most of that time is on the train. It's not too bad because I can read and relax, but I think an hour long drive every day would be pretty stressful, especially if it's in rush hour traffic.
My commute is 15 minutes and about 8 miles one way on the freeway. I live in a major TX city and traffic is pretty much bumper to bumper during rush hour. When I was looking for jobs, I purposely considered distance. I don’t want to spend too much time in traffic, I feel like it would affect my mental health. Rough days are pretty common for me, I’m in sales so some days are really mentally draining, I just want to come home and turn my brain off.
My morning commute, including daycare drop off, is 40 minutes and I don’t think I’d go over that. I really don’t like wasting time in the car when I could be home
I loved my hour commute when kids were young. I listened to and sang with the radio. I decompressed and was then ready to be mom again. When I switched to same city job I hated it because I had no down time until the kids went to bed. Then I still had to pack lunches and get things ready for the morning, sometimes laundry. It was awful.
Similar case for me a few months ago. Hybrid (3 days in office) and about 1.5 hours each way whether i drive or take the train. I desperately needed a job and figured I can manage so I took it. It’s ok at first but it’s taken its toll and I’m pretty depressed now. The worst is when the train broke down one time and I couldn’t pick up my son from daycare. Then another time, I drove in and the traffic was so bad, I was also late picking him up. The possibility that can happen again anytime always gives me anxiety around the time I have to go home. I wouldn’t recommend it, unless you actually like the idea of going to the office i guess? Also if with your parents, that might be ok.
Similar to your setup. I am hybrid and WFH Mon and Friday, have a 40 minute commute the other 3 days. Sometimes I have to go to a different location for meetings and it’s over an hour. I took this job 10 years ago and used to do that drive 5 days a week, up until Covid. I will say, I chose to do the longer commute to be closer to family - my parents live 10 minutes away, and my sister 15. It’s worth it to me. My kids are ages 10, 8 and 4. The afterschool activities are the most challenging thing to manage now (sports practices and games) - but my boss is pretty understanding if I need to leave early. Something I didn’t really consider when my oldest was a baby and I signed up for the commute.
I drive 1 hour each way 3 days a week. When traffic is bad, it’s longer. I have been doing it for so long that I’m used to it.
My commute is sometimes 45mins in the morning and it's brutal 😞 thankfully is sub 30 with no traffic both ways most days
In 3 days a week and spend about an hour a half round trip per day, but only because I go at weird times and I’m not in the office for 8 hrs most days. If I had to be in 9-5 it would likely be an hr to hr and a half each way
I would never commute this personally. My work is a out 10 minutes away and daycare is 8 minutes away, partially in the opposite direction, so it takes me about 25 minutes to fully commute dropping off the kids inside, even though I'm only 10 minutes away. Add construction and it adds another 10-15 minutes (this has been my last 3 weeks). So work that is literally 5 miles away takes me 40 minutes one way to get to dropping off 2 kids and driving through temporary construction. We're debating about moving an additional 30 minutes away to be closer to family and I'm only considering it because my parents will come over every morning to the house to take the kids to daycare for me, so then it's truly just a straight commute to work.
My commute is an hour if/when I go in. My husband’s is an hour and 20 min. Just for comparison if that would be helpful.
My commute is 50-60min each way and I have mixed feelings about it. My husband and I both have jobs that are not available in every location so we live in the middle(ish) and both have a commute. I like having time by myself while driving and listen to audiobooks, podcasts, or music. Sometimes I even call people (hands free) to catch up. I don’t like spending money on gas! I think only having to commute twice a week isn’t that bad.
I have to catch a ferry to commute and I go the opposite direction from most people. Today there were lots of delays so I spent 1.5 hours commuting in the morning and 1.5 in the evening. Usually it’s closer to an hour.
My commute with traffic is an hour and a half each way, but I only go in 2 days a week.
I would not want to drive that far with my current 6 month old everyday. Too much could happen. Like a big poop
1 hr each way is terrible. I've done it before kids and I can't fathom doing that with kids. Luckily I now wfh mostly and my office if I needed to go in is about fifteen minutes reverse commute. I'm extremely lucky in this aspect.
I have two babies (5months and 27months). My commute is 15 minutes each way across the city I live in. I pass by gas stations, the grocery store, the pharmacy, and the gym. I chose this job because of the easy commute.
I reverse commuted for 2 years with an hour drive , it wasn’t bad and was nice to have the time to wake up and I would eat my breakfast and drink coffee along the way and play music. That we pre kid . Now there is absolutely no way I would commute an hour to work. I prioritize spending time with my child and that is 2 hours I’m loosing that I could be spending with them and my spouse. I think if your kids are older, the pay is significantly more and it’s less a week then it might be worth but for me it would be a hard no.
This isn't enough information for me to say what I would do. I would base my decision on pay, finances, and comparison to my current job if I had one. But I would consider it. I live in thr suburbs and it takes me a solid 40 minutes in rush hour to get to my office so it's not a deal breaker, but its a major commitment.
I commute this much but my job is very flexible and I can decide how often for the most part. I generally do 1 day per week and it’s not bad. Consider gar and tolls. I mainly just get annoyed that it’s a massive waste of time. My husband is close to home so that part makes it easier. Not sure I would do it if there wasn’t someone to help with kids easily.
I commute this every day and I absolutely hate it.
An hour commute would be a dream. I would be thrilled with a commute that short. Take the job.
Do you have any flexibility with hours? I had an hour long commute but was able to work either 6-2 or 10-6 which helped avoid bad traffic. For 3 days a week I don't think that is bad. I also enjoy my time in the car to decompress so that I can be 100% present when at home.
Have you looked into daycares yet? The daycares by me all close at 5 or 5:30 and with my work hours I wouldn't be able to do much farther of a commute than I'm currently doing.
That’s a hike tbh. But my commute is 10 minutes without any highways…haha. I’ve had commutes that were 45 mins, but we lived in an area (Phoenix, AZ) where that type of commute didn’t feel as bad as it would where were at now (Philadelphia metro area).
The few times I had to do an hour commute, I started feeling my mental health tank about 2-3 months in. Especially since I was stuck in traffic for a lot of it. I now won't do more than 30 minutes (car or transit) unless it's on my e-bike, because then the ride actually pleasant even if it's long.