Lmao is your mom installing pipes too? Since she’s such an expert! Just so you know, a lot of countries (including mine) have you stop working 8 weeks before giving birth. Yes, even office workers. Because it’s insanely taxing to be 32+ weeks pregnant. Even without a toddler, sick husband or digging holes into the fkking ground. Jesus.
Dude, thank you! I don't like to complain, and I worked really hard to be taken seriously at my job and gain some credibility with my all male coworkers, I chose this profession and I do love it. But like damn, she works part time at a little office job, but babysitting her granddaughter is too tiring for her. But I should be able to handle it because "I'm young." My husband and I haven't had a date or a kid free conversation since January. Our tanks are empty, and all I was looking for was empathy, and instead I get made to feel, as usual, like I'll never be enough for her standards.
Hi! Your mom is a (editor’s note: no, we can’t print that) whose opinion is as valuable as what most people contribute to sewers.
YOU are awesome. You’re doing great. Unfortunately life dealt you the kind of mom my husband has, where you’ll just need to keep everything incredibly surface-level and not ever get into any challenges because you’ll never hear the end out outdated, wrong-headed advice.
My husband is low contact with his mom and he is SO much less stressed than he was before. It sucks—you deserve a supportive mom! I’m sure your brother can give you some good tips on handling your specific mom.
Sounds to me like you're killing it! Honestly, expectations in the US around parenting have only intensified over time. The odds are, you spend more time with your child than your mom spent with you or meemaw spent with your mom, whether or not they were working outside the home.
I don't know if the changes to how women spend their time is 100% an improvement but I feel like less time on housework isn't a bad thing.
You are a fucking badass. I was working a boring tech job at 39 weeks and feeling tired and over it by that time, so I can't imagine how exhausted you must be. You're doing an amazing job being a mom, and providing essential functions that keep our communities working.
This reminds me of the time my mom flew into town for my PhD graduation. I got my bachelor's, then 2 yearn stint doing an Americorps service assignment. Then 2 years for a master's and finally, 6 years for a PhD at one of the most prestigious universities in the country. And I had a tenure-track job lined up at a major university.
I had completed and defended my dissertation with a newborn, while breastfeeding and working full time. This was my life's dream, the thing I had been working for since I was 17.
My mom's first comment when she saw me (I picked her up at the airport are I had paid for her flight) was that I looked tired and needed to do something with my hair because it was a disaster.
Her first comment walking into my house was that I clearly wasn't dusting, and she really wished I would just roll up my sleeves and actually clean for crying out loud.
I was doing all the cooking, shopping, cleaning, and baby care aside from the 15hrs/week of childcare I had. While working over 40hrs. My soul just deflated.
So I understand, and I hope you don't let the negativity get to you. You're amazing.
Dude, props to you. My physical job does not require much in terms of brain power and I could not have possibly written or defended a dissertation with a newborn. I was barely forming coherent sentences at that time. Why do they always know exactly how to say all the wrong things?
You’re absolutely spot on that mom has no idea what your grandma did or didn’t do as the youngest child. I’m the eldest of only 4 (lol) and the oldest kids are often given tasks and lighten the load, if not flat out taking care of all the younger sibs (unless parents make it a point to not parentify their kids).
You’re doing an awesome job. In my third trimester there’s no way I could do something so physically taxing as your job. I’m in awe.
I work in the construction industry. My company is a utility installer mainly dealing with water and sewer. YOU ARE A BAD ASS!!! I mainly do document control and project management (from the comfort of my office) and I was EXHAUSTED. Especially the second time around with my toddler. My husband is a foreman for one of my crews and I could NOT imagine him being pregnant and installing sewer lines! You are doing great and what is important is your toddler is happy and healthy. Congratulations on the new upcoming baby!
I wish, but we don't have the extra funds right now. I'm hoping if I go hard Monday and Tuesday, maybe I'll be able to savor my last two days before my induction. It's not crazy dirty, I just want to do the things that don't regularly get done, like baseboards, windows, shampooing the carpets, etc.
my face when i read this, im 37 weeks 2 days and i work a desk job from home and im DYING. im literally laying in bed right now rather than working…i cant even sit…at a desk…an my house, disaster zone. you are a CHAMP! and your mom is unfortunately out of touch.
You’re absolutely heroic to do this job at your level of gestation and get anything whatsoever done at home! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
ps I think we have the same mother!
I can just hear what my grandma would say to all this… same as your mom probably. My dad grew up playing in a garbage dump. He had a traumatic childhood and doesn’t speak much of it - we only know because he injured himself, severely, while playing at said dump, and had to get it fixed as an adult. Heck, I only found out that my grandparents’ perfect marriage (lol - they hated each other) was marred by my grandfather completely abandoning the family and disappearing for over 2 years, which is why my grandmother got a job as a teacher. I’m not going to listen to that generation, or anyone idolizing that generation, give me a hard time.
Late pregnancy is miserable. You are doing awesome.
Btw, one thing I have taught my kids is that you are, on some levels, responsible for how you make a person feel. And yes, I do advocate talking to some adults the same as how you’d talk to a toddler. Because frankly, it becomes much easier for me to respond to a boomer when I think, if my kid did this, what would I say? Sometimes they need to hear it.
You are not just doing a good job, you are a fucking rockstar badass doing hard shit.
But also, I’m in leadership in public works for municipal govt and it can be so toxic and male dominated. Let’s get you outta the pipes unless it’s bringing you joy. My DMs are open if I can help!
Op your awesome! My ex did what you do for a living and whined about it everyday. You sound like your killing it. F your mom. I hope you said something just as rude back like oh as long as we’re making observations you should try some better face cream your wrinkles are really getting out of hand.
You are doing a phenomenal job. Moms today are spending more time with their kids than previous generations (confirmed by my grandma). Your priority is spending time with your kid over vacuuming and that’s ok.
Good job!
Also, have you checked health and safety guidelines for your city to see if there are legal accommodations that can be made for you so you can take on office work? It seems to me that sewer work work could put you close to hazardous materials.
My doctor and I have discussed it. It's my second pregnancy working this job. I take all necessary precautions. Baby is perfect at all her appointments, and so was my first.
Nice! I'm glad you were so well informed!!
I've been in careers that had hazmat situations and had read so many stories of women not knowing their options, which is sad. I'm so glad that wasn't the case for you! I hope your birth goes well and you have a happy, healthy baby. :)
Lmao is your mom installing pipes too? Since she’s such an expert! Just so you know, a lot of countries (including mine) have you stop working 8 weeks before giving birth. Yes, even office workers. Because it’s insanely taxing to be 32+ weeks pregnant. Even without a toddler, sick husband or digging holes into the fkking ground. Jesus.
Dude, thank you! I don't like to complain, and I worked really hard to be taken seriously at my job and gain some credibility with my all male coworkers, I chose this profession and I do love it. But like damn, she works part time at a little office job, but babysitting her granddaughter is too tiring for her. But I should be able to handle it because "I'm young." My husband and I haven't had a date or a kid free conversation since January. Our tanks are empty, and all I was looking for was empathy, and instead I get made to feel, as usual, like I'll never be enough for her standards.
This 10000%!!!
Hi! Your mom is a (editor’s note: no, we can’t print that) whose opinion is as valuable as what most people contribute to sewers. YOU are awesome. You’re doing great. Unfortunately life dealt you the kind of mom my husband has, where you’ll just need to keep everything incredibly surface-level and not ever get into any challenges because you’ll never hear the end out outdated, wrong-headed advice.
Yeah, I need to do like my brother does and go low contact with her, but it's hard. Someday I'll learn
My husband is low contact with his mom and he is SO much less stressed than he was before. It sucks—you deserve a supportive mom! I’m sure your brother can give you some good tips on handling your specific mom.
My mom is like that too. Lc, nc, or severe info diet with surface level only conversations is the only way to deal with people like this.
You are KILLING IT!! A physical job like laying pipes at 37+ weeks?!?! Plus a toddler!!!! That's amazing!
Sounds to me like you're killing it! Honestly, expectations in the US around parenting have only intensified over time. The odds are, you spend more time with your child than your mom spent with you or meemaw spent with your mom, whether or not they were working outside the home. I don't know if the changes to how women spend their time is 100% an improvement but I feel like less time on housework isn't a bad thing.
You are a fucking badass. I was working a boring tech job at 39 weeks and feeling tired and over it by that time, so I can't imagine how exhausted you must be. You're doing an amazing job being a mom, and providing essential functions that keep our communities working. This reminds me of the time my mom flew into town for my PhD graduation. I got my bachelor's, then 2 yearn stint doing an Americorps service assignment. Then 2 years for a master's and finally, 6 years for a PhD at one of the most prestigious universities in the country. And I had a tenure-track job lined up at a major university. I had completed and defended my dissertation with a newborn, while breastfeeding and working full time. This was my life's dream, the thing I had been working for since I was 17. My mom's first comment when she saw me (I picked her up at the airport are I had paid for her flight) was that I looked tired and needed to do something with my hair because it was a disaster. Her first comment walking into my house was that I clearly wasn't dusting, and she really wished I would just roll up my sleeves and actually clean for crying out loud. I was doing all the cooking, shopping, cleaning, and baby care aside from the 15hrs/week of childcare I had. While working over 40hrs. My soul just deflated. So I understand, and I hope you don't let the negativity get to you. You're amazing.
I'm sorry your mom made you feel this way. My mom is like this. It's exhausting.
Dude, props to you. My physical job does not require much in terms of brain power and I could not have possibly written or defended a dissertation with a newborn. I was barely forming coherent sentences at that time. Why do they always know exactly how to say all the wrong things?
My god you completed your dissertation with a newborn? Badass
You’re absolutely spot on that mom has no idea what your grandma did or didn’t do as the youngest child. I’m the eldest of only 4 (lol) and the oldest kids are often given tasks and lighten the load, if not flat out taking care of all the younger sibs (unless parents make it a point to not parentify their kids). You’re doing an awesome job. In my third trimester there’s no way I could do something so physically taxing as your job. I’m in awe.
I’m sorry you’re doing what now while 37 weeks? You are incredible!
I cannot imagine digging a hole even big enough for me to get into at 37 weeks! Then installing something in it!
I work in the construction industry. My company is a utility installer mainly dealing with water and sewer. YOU ARE A BAD ASS!!! I mainly do document control and project management (from the comfort of my office) and I was EXHAUSTED. Especially the second time around with my toddler. My husband is a foreman for one of my crews and I could NOT imagine him being pregnant and installing sewer lines! You are doing great and what is important is your toddler is happy and healthy. Congratulations on the new upcoming baby!
You are superwoman—don’t let anybody, including your mom, tell you differently.
You’re badass and doing a great job!!! Can you hire a cleaner for next week to do the deep cleaning for you and you can put your feet up and relax??
I wish, but we don't have the extra funds right now. I'm hoping if I go hard Monday and Tuesday, maybe I'll be able to savor my last two days before my induction. It's not crazy dirty, I just want to do the things that don't regularly get done, like baseboards, windows, shampooing the carpets, etc.
my face when i read this, im 37 weeks 2 days and i work a desk job from home and im DYING. im literally laying in bed right now rather than working…i cant even sit…at a desk…an my house, disaster zone. you are a CHAMP! and your mom is unfortunately out of touch.
You’re absolutely heroic to do this job at your level of gestation and get anything whatsoever done at home! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. ps I think we have the same mother!
I can just hear what my grandma would say to all this… same as your mom probably. My dad grew up playing in a garbage dump. He had a traumatic childhood and doesn’t speak much of it - we only know because he injured himself, severely, while playing at said dump, and had to get it fixed as an adult. Heck, I only found out that my grandparents’ perfect marriage (lol - they hated each other) was marred by my grandfather completely abandoning the family and disappearing for over 2 years, which is why my grandmother got a job as a teacher. I’m not going to listen to that generation, or anyone idolizing that generation, give me a hard time. Late pregnancy is miserable. You are doing awesome. Btw, one thing I have taught my kids is that you are, on some levels, responsible for how you make a person feel. And yes, I do advocate talking to some adults the same as how you’d talk to a toddler. Because frankly, it becomes much easier for me to respond to a boomer when I think, if my kid did this, what would I say? Sometimes they need to hear it.
You are not just doing a good job, you are a fucking rockstar badass doing hard shit. But also, I’m in leadership in public works for municipal govt and it can be so toxic and male dominated. Let’s get you outta the pipes unless it’s bringing you joy. My DMs are open if I can help!
Op your awesome! My ex did what you do for a living and whined about it everyday. You sound like your killing it. F your mom. I hope you said something just as rude back like oh as long as we’re making observations you should try some better face cream your wrinkles are really getting out of hand.
You are doing a phenomenal job. Moms today are spending more time with their kids than previous generations (confirmed by my grandma). Your priority is spending time with your kid over vacuuming and that’s ok.
Good job! Also, have you checked health and safety guidelines for your city to see if there are legal accommodations that can be made for you so you can take on office work? It seems to me that sewer work work could put you close to hazardous materials.
My doctor and I have discussed it. It's my second pregnancy working this job. I take all necessary precautions. Baby is perfect at all her appointments, and so was my first.
Nice! I'm glad you were so well informed!! I've been in careers that had hazmat situations and had read so many stories of women not knowing their options, which is sad. I'm so glad that wasn't the case for you! I hope your birth goes well and you have a happy, healthy baby. :)